Second Death
by sugarskull3
Summary: Human, clan leader, Arbitrator. I promise: It picks up after first few chapters. Yautja/Human coupling. IN PROGRESS
1. Chapter 1 - Bare

**_*****REWORK OF CHAPTER 1 ******_**

 ** _Author's Notes: ** Hey. I'm new at this. I've never written about the AVP universe, so go easy on me. I'll learn. And hopefully you'll help me along the way. If nothing else, I want to leave you with something that was worth spending time reading. And please, I won't beg for reviews to get my story to the top...Just review simply for my pleasure. Let me know I'm not writing this and reading this all alone._**

 ** _And as always, I must warn you that although I would simply LOVE to own the Aliens/Predator universe (or better yet, a Predator of my own), I don't and sadly never will. I am also not making a penny off of this story, either._**

* * *

Pale moonlight filtered down through the canopy of the woods and for the life of me I could not remember how I had gotten here. Focusing my mind only lead to more frustratingly obscure memories . I knew my name, how old I was, and that I lived in the city. A city, though its name and the details escaped me. The most recent memory that fringed at the surface of my mind belonged to my childhood, but my body defied the betrayal of my thoughts. I was not the little girl trailing her parents, toting a balloon behind her through a museum.

I picked myself up off the ground and listened a long while before the agonizing strain on my lungs forced me to remember to breathe. _That_ I could remember that. _Breathe first._ I then took several steps forward before the sound of leaves crunching and twigs cracking beneath my feet rooted me to the spot. The sudden noise split across the deafening silence of the woods and had most likely, to my horror, alerted every creature lurking in the shadows of my presence.

As disoriented as I was I was sure that I wasn't inebriated. I could remember that feeling – the spinning before the downward spiral. This wasn't like that. Intoxication might have explained my winding up in the woods and a large gap in between whatever revelry had occurred between then and now, but my mind, affected by something other than a libation-induced stupor refused to process the totality of my circumstance.

In the midst of my own mental debating, dozens of explanations vying for validation, I heard that noise that could strike fear into the heart of even the bravest of soliders. Footsteps. Sweeping, gentle footsteps and the hair-raising sensation of someone watching that followed. Instantly my body dropped in temperature. I was suddenly aware of how could I was. How my skin was prickled and my fingers, numbed by the temperature of my environment I had until now been indifferent to, were shaking.

Despite the involuntary shivering of my extremities when I lowered my head I hadn't expected to see bare breasts or bare feet. And before I could even wrap my empty head around that one there was that god fucking awful noise again and the realization that I was going to die naked. They were going to find my body months from now without a single fiber of clothing to provide my spotters the comforting knowledge that I had at least been granted a measure of modesty before my death, even if the fabric had long since rotted along with the rest of me. Hard to say if they would even be able to tell the difference between where the tattered fabric started and where cured muscle ended.

A gust of warm, sickly moist air washed over the nape of my neck. Outwardly I was as stiff as rigor mortis, but inwardly I was curling into a ball, hoping if I was still and quiet enough – every muscle straining to restrain my chest from heaving in panic - that whatever was behind me would pass by me unaware. But the suspense was worse than the actual breadth of silence; the chasm of listlessness that begged to be bridged.

Turning slowly a scream hitched itself in my throat when my eyes met the visage of a dark form behind me. Stumbling backwards and losing my footing in the fury of my frenzy, I hit the ground hard but didn't have time to lick my wounds. I kicked my feet at the figure drawing nearer, grabbing fistfuls of leaves and hurling them at it – anything, _anything_ to deter it from coming closer. How pathetic I must have looked squirming on the ground in a toddler-like fit with leaves as my only weapon of defense.

"Shhhh!" it's voice hissed sharply. Not "it"…Female. _It_ was a _she_ and suddenly what I had believed in my panic was an extra pair of heads set just below its actual head were breasts. "You'll lead them straight toward us."

"Them?" My voice was a squeak.

 _"Them,"_ she said, reaching her hand down to help me up.

I hesitated a moment before recognizing the lunacy of my reluctance. She was a woman. Women didn't hurt other women in these kinds of situations. Or so I told myself because I couldn't afford to alienate myself at this present moment. And so I grabbed ahold of her extended hand and hoped my faith in the bonds of femininity had credence.

"Pick up your weapon," she said. Her hand snapped over to where I had woken up.

"Weapon?"

For a second I was sure she rolled her eyes at me, but I couldn't discern between any deliberate movement and the shadows that filled her features from the fractured moonlight pouring down from the dancing treetops above.

"Look, all I know is that when we were dropped here we were given weapons and told to kill anything with a red "x". That these things…" The woman shivered. "…with the red "x"…their goal is the same as ours and if we want get out of here alive we have to kill them first."

 _All mumbo jumbo aside…_ "How do you know this?"

"There are others here like us. I saw it happen. A woman killed one of those things…" Again, her body quivered. "And then there was a flash of blue and something appeared in the trees. Perched up on the branches…Looked like a human, but much taller. Jumped down twenty feet and landed like it was nothing. Didn't hurt her…just took her."

She took notice of the skeptical expression I was sure had contorted my features into that of a scrunched nose and creased forehead, but she didn't care enough to even attempt to convince me that any of what she said was true or even possible.

"All I know is I'm getting the hell out of here. And if I have to kill one of those things to do it…Hell, all of them – I'll do it." She lifted a machete I hadn't noticed had been resting at her side and gave me a nod.

I was half expecting her to bring that thing down on my head when she scampered off as quietly as she had arrived. Feeling like I had been the butt of some terrible joke I stood a long time without moving, hoping at any moment someone would jump out from behind a tree and unveil their hoax. I, being so overwhelmed with relief, would then pounce on them before showering them with kisses. And after kissing and hugging what at the moment had been the most wonderful face I had ever laid eyes on I would proceed to beat the living shit out of them.

An eternity passed before it became apparent that no one was going to jump out of the darkness and let me in on the joke so I walked back to the tree and stared down at its base. _Well I'll be damned,_ I mused while looking down at what I could only imagine was a spear. Though when I thought of spears I thought of a wooden pole with a poorly sharpened rock fastened to the end of it, not this. This was sleek, black metal with a stinger-like barb attached to the end of it. After oddly admiring it I picked it up, snapping around just as a faint, distant screech filled an otherwise vacuum of silence. Whatever was making that sound wasn't human, but whatever it was, I had determined that it wasn't going to make a meal out of me.

Carrying this heavy spear wasn't the first obstacle I encountered after picking it up. First was the glaring fact that I had absolutely no idea _how_ to carry it. Trying to hold it horizontally at my side lead to the front bowing forward and rutting into the ground. Resting it against my shoulder would prove futile in the event something sprang out at me as the tip was at my head and the spear itself too long to quickly flip around and make any meaningful jabs at whatever was charging at me. So I settled for holding it straight across my body; left hand just below the blade and right hand at the center.

And then I wondered if I had always been this weak. Had my mind never been able to function under such pressure? In such dire circumstances? I didn't even seem capable of recalling events that had occurred only hours ago. And all the while that awful screeching was growing louder and none of what was going on inside of my head would matter once I came face to face with it. Death was no respecter of persons and it sure as hell didn't excuse ones that couldn't even recall their own names.

And then death had a face – or at least the face I envisioned when that shivering, machete-wielding woman spoke about 'them'. I gripped my spear tighter, not sure if I would use it to keep some distance between its snarling teeth or just whirl it around like a baton, hoping to land a blow or two on its head or scare it enough to think twice about snacking on me.

But this _thing_ was whimpering. Crouched down on the ground and draped in an eerie blanket of darkness, I couldn't tell if its size was the behemoth I perceived through fear or if shadows were playing more tricks on me; bending my perception to mask what it hid in its dark embrace.

 _"Please,"_ it said desperately. Again, not an It. A She.

I stepped closer, still determined to jab this heavy, primitive javelin at its – _her –_ throat if it came near me. I wanted a better look. And damn if Machete wasn't right. Right there, in a pool of moonlight, was a big "x" on her chest. But was it really red? Didn't blood look black in moonlight? But I had never seen blood under the light of the moon. I had no frame of reference, no context in which to form a meaningful conclusion; one that was vital to my survival. One that escaped me as conveniently as my short-term memories.

Though Machete had been right about the letter (maybe not the color, but at least the letter) she hadn't been right to lead me into thinking that these creatures we were supposed to kill were horrible, ghastly aliens with tentacles and horns, foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. Good God, this was a human! And by the looks of it a very pregnant human, no less.

"I just want to go home."

Her voice was softer than a whisper and I wondered – with a deep measure of doubt _-_ if I had really just heard her speak or if I was beginning to lose my mind. Or if it was possible that I had already lost it.

"My baby…Just…"

I also wondered about the woman Machete was so adamant had been taken from these woods after killing these marked 'creatures'. Did this woman get to go home because she had killed without hesitation? It didn't make sense why Machete would lie. We were both naked in the woods toting weapons that would split skulls, tear out hearts, or otherwise maim and destroy. We both wanted to get back to our lives in one piece.

I lifted the spear and muttered to myself, slowly trying to talk myself into actually putting this barbaric weapon to use. I wanted to live. _She_ wanted to live. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so torn if she wasn't pregnant. If she wasn't, would she still be on the ground begging me to spare her life? Or would she be waiting for the moment I became distracted before lunging and digging her fingernails into my throat and ripping it out? There was no way of knowing exactly what was going on inside of her head and I wasn't so sure that what was going on inside of _mine_ was so reliable.

"Damn it!" I huffed before throwing down the spear.

I couldn't do it. Every part of me _wanted_ to…to live…But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt her. It was wrong. Murder was wrong, but murdering a pregnant woman was even worse. A mortal sin. Unforgivable. One that if there really was a hell I'd have a special spot next to Satan himself for it.

I dropped down in front of the woman and put my hand on her shoulder. Her skin was ice cold and she was trembling. Not shivering, _trembling._ Up close she even looked like a good person which made me wince at the thought of nearly killing her just a minute ago. She looked like the sort of woman I might ask to adopt my baby if I found myself pregnant and alone and penniless. It made me wonder what the fuck she was doing out here more than I wondered about myself.

"Let's get you and your baby out of here."

I didn't know where the hell I was going to take her, but I did know that Machete was still out in these woods and that she was now this woman's biggest threat.

As we began to wade through the dark I caught a burst of blue light out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head and squinting, I saw faint movement from within the network of branches no more than a yard away. Though not looking at her, I reached out and put my hand on the woman beside me to make sure she was still standing next to me. I had seen the blue light and the form within the treetops, yet I hadn't killed this woman and since my hand was clearly resting on an upright shoulder I knew Machete hadn't either.

And I waited, again hoping to see a familiar face emerge from behind the dense trees. But the movement didn't come from behind the trees and I had a feeling I didn't know anyone that could drop twenty feet down and land on their feet. I just knew I didn't.


	2. Chapter 2 - Undone

_**Author's Notes: Hello again. Well, here goes the next round. I hope I kept a few of you around since the first chapter. And if you are with me now, much love and appreciation!**_

 _ **Again, I do not own the AVP universe, or a Predator, to my utter sorrow. This is purely from my own warped mind and will not earn any money from it. I do own my characters though. That's at least comforting.**_

I opened my eyes and again I felt that utter, complete, and insanely annoying void in my memory as if my mind fed on the pleasure the aggravation caused me. But as frustrating as it was to have no ability to recall how I had managed to go from being a naked, spear-wielding, would-be pregnant lady killer in the woods to sitting in a corner of an uncomfortably sterile room with a window view of what...my God...looked like space...I was still alive.

I looked around the spacious room and saw, by all appearances, what looked to be a bed. If a bed could be _that_ big. It was also covered in what I assumed were animal pelts. Lots of them. Brown and white and black. And suddenly, staring at them with a blank mind, I was aware again of how cold I was. Still was. And how I wished to curl up in those curious furs if I wasn't so afraid they might somehow come alive and finish the job the creature in the woods, or whatever creature was behind my being in the woods, had obviously failed.

And damn was I hungry. I couldn't remember anything from before waking up on the ground in the woods, so I couldn't possibly remember what I had last eaten. By the growls emanating from the depths of my stomach I imagined it hadn't been as recent as I would have liked.

Just as I was beginning to work up the courage to investigate my current space, a series of beeps erupted throughout the room. A deep hissing of an opening, mechanical door. Then a massive form. And I was undone. Literally.

Swiftly the tall, masculine creature at the door started making its way toward me. I might have clung desperately to the hope this was just an abnormally large man in polished, gunmetal gray armor had it not been the claws on its hands. Or maybe I could have reasoned he was a man because the skin that was visible on his forearms and a small section of his abdomen was tan...But that was just me being hopeful again. He wasn't tan, because _he_ wasn't a _he_ at all. A "he" in the literal human sense of the word. Because covering that tan skin was patterned, red marks like tiger stripes. And logically, humans didn't look like that. But he had to be male. A supersized humanoid that had come straight off the screen of a horror flick.

And before my mind had finished swirling in a cacophony of objectivity, I realized this thing was standing right in front of me. He practically drowned me in his shadow. Hell, he did drown me in his shadow. Even sitting on the floor he towered over me and I think the back of my head hit the wall as I looked up at him. And I think I held it together pretty good, all things considered. Until that massive hand of his reached out toward me.

I literally lost control of my body in that moment. Shrieks just vomited right out of my mouth and I slid down the wall, my legs bent behind me, flattening myself as much as humanly possible against the ground to get away from his hand. All while flailing my arms at him as if my puny arms stood a chance against his hand which was the size of my face.

But whatever verbal obscenities spewed out of my mouth (I imagined it was a litany of every cuss word known to man) had given him pause. Bent forward and hand poised above me, he just simply observed me. At least I thought he was observing me. I couldn't tell _what_ he was doing behind that mask of his.

He straightened up and stepped back before unhooking a set of tubes connected to his mask and peeled it off. My mouth flew open and the gasp I thought would follow was literally was caught in my throat.

What. The. Hell. Was. That?

If I hadn't thought I was about to be eaten I would have promptly fainted. Tusks and mandibles were clicking together furiously, but the more my horror grew, the more angry this thing seemed to get. His dark gray eyes were set against a pale, golden backdrop and his skin, that tan with stripes of red, appeared bumpy and smooth at the same time. And then came a strange, low rumbling from deep within his chest. And I just couldn't take another second of it. I clawed my way off the floor and bolted before the thing knew what had happened. Hell, I barely knew what was happening. I just knew what _wasn't_ going to happen.

I jumped onto the bed and then right off, moving with so much momentum I couldn't stop myself from colliding against the window and just put my hands out to brace for the impact. I turned and he was on the opposite side of the bed, his mandibles flared, his chest heaving with that horrible, threatening rumbling again. One hand placed on the bed he hurdled across it, his legs never hitting the layer of furs beneath him. I promptly took off to my left and scrambled to find a way out. And then I saw it. The only possible way to put a wall between me and this massive thing playing a twisted game of catch-me-if-you-can.

As if catapulting myself across a deep abyss my feet left the ground and I hurled myself across the threshold of the door and slammed the door shut behind me. I was pretty sure I had just shut it in his face because he let out a roar so powerful the door actually trembled. I flew across the room, nearly falling into a recessed hole in the floor, before sitting down and planting my back against the wall. His fists pounded against the door a few times before it became silent again. Eerily silent. I clasped my arms around my knees and buried my face in my lap.

 _Maybe killing that pregnant woman wouldn't have been so bad after all._

After a long while of absolutely nothing, I lifted my head when I heard a knock at the door. Clearly the thing that had chased me around the room wouldn't knock. I was so busy waiting for something to happen next I forgot to breathe...again. I let out a deep exhale and lowered my legs. A knock again and then a voice. Could this thing actually talk?

"If you would please unlock the door and come out I would be more than happy to explain everything."

A man's voice. Gentle. Friendly.

This was a trap. As soon as I opened the door that thing would swipe his big, clawed hand at my face and take half of my cheek with it.

"Who are you?" I shook my head. No. No. "What am I doing here? Where the hell am I?"

"Please," the soft voice pressed. But no danger lurked in his voice. "Open the door. I can come in if you are not ready to come out."

"No!" I snapped. "No way in hell!"

"I have been brought here to be your translator. I mean you no harm. Please unlock the door."

I was losing my mind. Or maybe someone had taken this prank a little too far. If I had had anything to eat or drink I am sure it would have been collecting in a pool beneath me.

"No! I am not opening this door! And you can tell that thing he's not coming in here! He's not!"

Brief silence. Shit. Was he translating?

"I cannot say that."

"Say what?" Oh. My proclamation that the monster waiting for me on the other side of the door was not coming in. "Tell him. Tell him! He is not coming in here!"

More silence. I looked around to see if there was any way of escaping this room. No window. No other door. Not even a vent. I was completely trapped in a room with a big hole in the floor.

 _Maybe that's where he drains the blood._

No. No more thoughts like that.

Then something crashed against the door. Whatever it was actually dented the door.

"Hey! What the hell is that?!"

"It is your master," the voice replied. Before I could move to speak in protest - thoroughly displeased that he was calling this thing my master, he spoke again. "He has accepted your challenge."

"What challenge? Wait! What?" I jumped to my feet. Why the hell were there no vents?!

"You insisted that I tell him he would not be able to enter."

"I didn't say that!" I could have ripped my hair out. Able? That thing was more than just able. "I wanted you to tell him that he wasn't coming in! That I wasn't going to open the door and let him - "

"You said he is not coming in. Which means you think he is not able. He accepts your challenge because he thinks he is able."

 _Good God, what had I done?_

More pounding against the door, more dents, before the disappointingly weak slab of metal flew open and that thing came lunging towards me. I shrank against the wall and slid down, clapping my hand over my mouth and turned my head, hoping if I closed my eyes and didn't make a peep, maybe he would just...disappear. Like a bad dream.

Nope. Big, strong hands clamped down on my arms and ripped me onto my feet. I wanted to just get back to my corner of the main room and do this all over again. How could I tell him that I would promise not to curl into a fetal position and scream bloody murder again? Where was that awful translator when I actually needed him? Or would he screw up my words again and set another challenge in motion.

He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of wheat. Damn his armor was hard. He strode out of the room like a total champ and over toward the bed. Through the curtain of my hair I saw the translator. It had to be him. He looked human which matched his equally human voice.

He hurled me down onto the bed and I crawled back on the bed as if I was trying to escape a swell of lava. Good. There was some distance between us as we had a hard look at each other. Maybe it was the sound of my own beating heart that drowned out everything else, but then I heard a soft clinking and my eyes lowered. He was holding chains. Chains!

His arm shot out and he grabbed my ankle before yanking me toward him. He slapped a cuff on the ankle firmly caught in his grip and before he moved for the other I was already blocking his hand and squirming away from him. Letting out another furious snarl he yanked the chain connected to the cuff already on my ankle and I was back at the foot of the bed. I clawed at his hand as he wrapped his slender digits around my ankle, but it was too late.

What the hell was I thinking? I had probably just pissed him off even more. First my clawing at the air, then running across his bed, bolting for the small room with the gigantic vat, and now this. And "my" translator hadn't uttered a single word in my defense.


	3. Chapter 3 - Answers

_**Author's Notes:**_

 _ **Thanks for hanging in there. I see some traffic, but not reviews. Maybe just PM me and let me know what ya think? Good or bad, just let me know you're still with me thus far.**_

 _ **I dont own the Aliens/Predator universe and make no profit writing this story. I only own my characters**_

* * *

I was fucking glaring at him. I made no attempt to hide my utter fury and if I could have ran over to where he was standing I would have slapped the shit out of him. Or so I told myself. All I knew is that I wanted to. Badly.

And then there was the shackles. Two heavy bands of metal connected by a thin chain that barely let me get my feet in line with my hips. I wasn't going anywhere. At least not across the room to slap the translator across his pale, blank face. For now I just sat on the edge of the bed, my head spinning from what had just happened. One minute I was carried across the room on this creature's shoulder, the apex of my legs on display for said translator, and the next I was chained up like a vicious dog being taunted by the head of Animal Control just before it was executed. And after all this fuss with wrapping chains around my ankles he was gone. Left the room in a fury just after giving the translator a guttural growl of what I assumed could only be displeasure with both him and I.

"Are you just going to stare at me?" I had been through so much in the past several hours...Or was it days?...that I just could not handle being balked at a second longer as if I had done something wrong to them.

"You are visibly angry. I do not wish to cause you further harm."

"I want answers, damn it! Is that so hard to understand? I mean, you are human, right? Or maybe you're not. How the hell could you just stand there and do nothing - say nothing - while that thing manhandled me? Look at me! This is slavery!"

He took a few steps and looked at me to see if I would do anything foolish. He had his reasons for not trusting me. I didn't even trust myself at this point. Then he took a few more until he was a few feet away from me. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me, but I wanted to hurt him. So it was better he kept at least an arm's length away from me.

"You have been chosen by our clan leader for the purpose of mating. Your trial in the woods was a test...A test to prove if you are a worthy mate."

Did he just say what I think he just said? I took a deep breath and held up my hands. The gesture seemed to alarm him, but at this point I was more worried about dissecting that statement of his than ripping his head off.

"You obviously realize that by the state of panic I was and continue to be in that I didn't ask to be tested or become someone's...something's...mate, right? And if you think about it...I didn't do anything you could call 'worthy'. I almost killed a pregnant lady. Really. I was just about to take a jab at her when she reminded me of someone. Someone I must have really liked. So...I didn't really pass the test. So can I please go home now?"

The translator's expression was still blank. Did this guy feel _anything_?

"You did pass. You see, the Yautja have a code of honor. A - "

"Wait, what did you say?"

"You passed your test. The Yautja have - "

"Yes. I heard that. I heard what you said. I meant that word."

He tilted his head as if I was somehow supposed to understand all this verbiage and asked: "Yautja?"

"Yeah. That one."

"That is what your master's kind is called. Yautja."

There he went again. Calling that thing something I had now allowed it to be. I motioned for him to continue.

"As I was saying...The Yautja have a code of honor that they live and die by. They only hunt worthy prey. A Yautja will not harm prey that is unarmed, ill, or pregnant."

I could not believe I was having this discussion. We weren't talking about lions or tigers or bears. We were talking about an alien. God, if that wasn't sobering. "You mean to tell me that _thing_ hunts humans?"

"Yes. They are worthy prey. However, as I have said, hunting prey that is unarmed, ill, or pregnant is forbidden. That is something the Badbloods do. And so your test...and the tests of many others...was to see if you would harm unworthy prey. You did not."

I smiled. One of those smiles where you just cannot believe your life has taken such a horrible, ironic, bizarre turn. If calling it horrible, ironic, and bizarre wasn't enough to convince you that the turn was for the worse, let me make it clear: it was a turn for the worse.

"Great. Does that make me one of them? I didn't see _him_ wearing any chains."

That did it. A look of horror swept across his face. Finally. A little reaction. "You must never say such things. You must never imply that your master is like your kind. He is Yautja. A clan leader. He holds the highest honor apart from the gods."

There was only one word that struck me as odd. It was his use of 'your' rather than 'our' as if he wasn't human either.

"Do you think you're one of them?"

Man, I was not ready for his answer.

"Them? Of course not. I am an android."

Well that explained his lack of emotion and also his lack of human moral duty to intervene when that thing was chasing me and beating down the door. He was a machine. A robot. No wonder when that ghastly look took over his face I had suspected that it was forced. It wasn't forced. It was just limited programming at its best.

"And you've been assigned as my personal translator for what? I mean, I get it. The big guy wants to mate with me. But why do I need you for that?" Actually, I really could have used him. Could have asked him what to expect when that big Yautja or whatever him and his kind were called had a hankering to teach me a lesson. I didn't even know what to expect from a human let alone an alien.

"Think of this as a ring of circles. The circles represent trials and challenges you must face to be the victor. Your trial in the woods was the outer circle. You passed and now you get to advance to the next circle. Only when you reach the center can you become our prince's mate."

"I liked the outer circle better than this one." Then I thought about what he said about the woods being the outer circle. "So the pregnant woman? That wasn't real?"

"Out of ten only two were chosen." Not a direct answer to my question, but an answer nonetheless. She wasn't.

God, if I was the one of the two I hoped Machete was the 'two'. Or whatever her real name was. She was a chick I could rally behind to get the hell out of here. Wherever 'here' was, of course.

"So where's the other lucky girl? Don't you think it would be nice if we could at least get through this with each other?"

Again, another dark pass across his smooth, probably latex face. "The other female chosen is not like you. She was merciless in her quest for freedom."

Huh. Just when I was starting to make sense of all this it just slipped right through my fingers.

"So if the whole point of the test was to spare 'unworthy prey', why did he choose someone who did not? Does he think I'm going to snuggle up in his bed with him and someone else?" I sighed. "You seem like you're under some kind of pressure to help me. I get it. But I'm telling you that I am not what your prince or clan leader or whatever you call him, wants. So lets just make things easy. Just tell him to choose the other one. I promise I will not be angry."

He shook his head and turned to leave. I guess there was no swaying him, either.

* * *

I didn't need a mirror to know I looked like a total idiot. I could just imagine how awful I looked in a 'dress' probably made from the hide of one of the many nasty little pets the Yautja probably kept around. I mean, what animal on Earth is red? Blood red? Besides maybe a crab...which reminded me of my future mate's face.

Vyexxin, or simply 'V' to keep it simple for myself, tended to every detail of my appearance while explaining what was about to happen. All I knew or cared about was that I was going to eat, damn it! Chowing down in a room full of Yautja didn't sound as bad as my howling stomach. While all V cared about was primping my hair and oiling my skin all I could do was imagine myself stuffing my face with the worst kinds of food an alien might possibly eat and absolutely loving it every bite of it. I would eat just about anything at this point.

"Head lowered, eyes on feet. You do not speak even if spoken to. Do not look any of them in the eye. They would perceive that as a challenge. And if you really want to get back into his good graces...try not to run as soon as you walk into the room."

I actually laughed. Did he really think I could run with this chain around my ankles?

"You are present to be observed only. This is not an honor or a privilege. Clan must know that our leader's future mate is worthy to bear his pups."

 _Puppies? No. I'm hearing him wrong._

"Other female will be present also. I suggest you do not speak to her either. You are her rival. There can only be one mate."

Now he had my total attention.

"What happens to the one he doesn't like?" I imagined death. His eyes were just filled to the brim with thoughts of malice, I was sure. I mean, wasn't that the look he was giving me when I curled up on the bed like a wounded animal?

"Goes to another warrior. Most likely an elder. But will not bear leader's pups."

Shit. Give me death or malice or whatever the hell he wanted, just don't let him give me to another one of these damn creatures!

And now we were on our way out of the room and down an equally bright, sterile hallway. We were on a ship. Had to be. Or I was in an underground bunker and that dark void right outside of the window was solid ground.

"Remember," V said as he stopped in front of a massive set of doors. "Just keep your head lowered and your - "

"Eyes on the floor. Yeah. I get it. What the hell else do you think I would want to look at?"

Another sharp look before he pushed the doors open. I followed him and was clearly my own funeral procession. Not a single fiber of my being wanted to be in that room. I could hear them clicking away with those sharp tusks. Probably mocking me. Or laughing at how ridiculous I looked. But V just kept walking as if I wasn't supposed to be bothered by the fact that the entire room had fallen into deafening silence. Well, except for a low rumble somewhere to my left. Maybe I didn't just look ridiculous. Maybe that one rumbling like a distant thunderstorm found me ugly. And why the hell not? They weren't exactly pretty to me, either.

"Here," V said softly, gesturing to a chair.

Okay. I'll sit at the end. Right next to you and right next to the one at the head of the table. The one that had clapped these chains on me and was probably deciding if he should just spare himself the trouble right now.

And across from me? It was her. That 'other' female. Except she was wearing a black pelt and suddenly something so minuscule felt terribly unfair. Or maybe it was the way she was sitting. All relaxed and honing her inner zen. Maybe after seeing it was no use with me he went to her room instead and got lucky. She sure as hell didn't seem an ounce concerned that we were sitting among giants, let alone aliens.

I sort of blocked out whatever V was mumbling to the translator next to the woman opposite me. I was totally prepared to ride this out when everyone received a plate of meat and leafy greens except me. I was hoping it was just a simple oversight. Happens all the time. A friend joins the group late and the waiter just grabs another plate. But nothing came. They all started eating and I just started salivating. They could have placed a human hand in front of me and I would have gnawed at the stubby fingers one by one. I was desperate. Starving!

 _Good God, he's going to punish me by starving me to death!_

My head still lowered I turned my head up ever so slight to get V's attention. Even he was eating and he wasn't even human! Now that...that and not that girl's black dress was un-fucking-fair.

My blood was boiling. My stomach was too, but my blood was downright curdling. I shifted in my chair and my chains rattled against the floor.

"It's only been one night and already you have fallen out of his good graces?"

V nudged me gently and gave a sharp 'no'. He knew what I was about to do. My hand was already bawled into a fist.

A light, sarcastic laughter clapped out across the table.

 _Just great. Another enemy and I hadn't even opened my mouth yet._

Where the hell was Machete?! I needed what she had right about now.

"Silly little thing. I imagine if you ever manage to lure him back into your bed he'd break you clean in two."

Her translator was repeating her words. Those at the table let out a soft trill and I just knew they were laughing at me, too. V, of course, again said nothing in my defense. I was going to have to have a chat with the bastard about that.

Well, if anything, at least he wasn't laughing. Or trilling. Whatever it was the rest of them were doing. Or maybe he just didn't see the humor in it. Did he even have a sense of humor?

"I wish to leave," I whispered to V.

"You are not permitted - " He paused and his attention was at the head of the table. Whatever the big guy was saying, at least it sounded calm.

"He wishes for me to translate what you have said."

I groaned. Internally, of course. Could this day get any worse?

More indistinct communication and V's attention, along with everyone else, was on me. Again, acting as if I had done anything wrong other than express my desire to get the fuck up from the table so I didn't knock out his future mate and leave him staring down at a black eye whenever he thrust himself into her bed. Or her. Either way.

I could tell V was nervous to tell me what the big guy had said. I was nervous to hear it.

"He calls you _'Je'kainde'_. Stubborn."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Was that it?

"He also says _'Mo'ke Ellos'de Pa'ya-te Kch-k'cha'ku M-di's'ke'i'_ , which, as I can best translate for you, 'You are nothing but a trophy that is yet to be cleaned'."

Yeah. There was the bite. I guess I should have known better than to expect a simple response. And if that didn't have the hussy sitting across me cracking up, it sure as hell had the rest of them trilling.

"V, tell him he won't have much of a trophy to clean if he keeps on starving me."

Again the big guy spoke and V's mechanical demeanor was plagued with hesitation. Could machines really gauge the urgency of a situation? What was the worst that could happen to him if he just spoke honestly? His head gets lopped off? His wires are pulled out from his gut? He'd be back together in a stitch. They needed him if he was going to communicate to me and for me. I sure as hell wasn't going to get friendly with another.

Now the big guy was angry because V didn't translate immediately. V could be so indifferent at times that he bordered on being a downright prick, but I wasn't about to let him go down for something I had said. He was only the translator. Didn't these creatures ever hear the phrase 'don't shoot the messenger'?

"Hell, V. Just tell him I said I'm sorry. That I just wanted to pee or something." But before V could speak the big guy was already in a rage. And then I realized...V wasn't the only translator in the room. Ha! And he had probably just translated that little lie of mine, too.

Even though the hairs on the back of my neck were on edge and every muscle within my body felt as if rigor mortis had set in, the Yautja at the head of the table let his eyes linger on me before dismissing me. That was it. A wave of his hand and V was up on his feet tugging for me to be on mine and follow him.

 _Had that really just happened? Was I really getting off that easy?_

V pulled me down the hall and took me back to my room. We had practically ran and I was breathless. Irritating that he was not.

"You make the case of the elders against you that much stronger." V motioned for me to take a seat on the bed. I did, reluctant to hear what he had to say next.

"They already think that you are weak. Not able to bear strong pups. Not suitable for our leader. You did adhere to the Yautja code of honor, but having honor alone does not make you a strong leader. Or a strong mother."

I shrugged. I hadn't asked for any of this anyway.

"And if you keep having such blatant disregard for our leader...Or any other Yautja...they will dispose of you. Being passionate and having the heart of a fierce warrior is one thing. Being disrespectful and careless is quite another."

"And what that woman said to me wasn't?" I huffed. Why was no one, not even my translator, in my corner?

"She is human. Just as you would not interfere in a Yautja squabble, neither will they interfere with a human's. There are better ways to vindicate yourself. And if that is not enough to convince you, why don't I remind you that pleasing Kal'ar is in your best interest if you ever want to eat again?"

Ah, so the thing had a name.

"So I guess I'm not getting fed tonight, huh?" Those fur pelts were beginning to look awfully tempting.

"Perhaps you may be given the chance to try again. For your sake...I hope he saw your little outburst as a challenge rather than an insult."

"You mean that thing might actually come back to my room?" Though my mind was swimming with dread, I was hoping that maybe he would come with a platter of that mouthwatering meat. If he wanted me to do as he said, it would take little convincing with that dangling in front of my face.

"Perhaps if he does not find the other female's submissiveness more appealing than your obvious repulsion, then yes. And you had better not make a mess of a second chance if you are given one."

I nodded. I just wanted to eat. But I didn't dare tell V that. Despite his efforts he would have seen just how little progress he had made when I cared more about my grumbling stomach than a grumbling Yautja.

* * *

I was always a champion of second chances. Who wasn't? But when the beeps cut through the silence of the room and the door opened I was beginning to wonder if this was really a second chance for a new beginning or a second chance at death. Still determined that I would eat, I forced my unwilling body off of the bed and stood to greet him. I imagine that my feigned regard for him had earned me that flash of disapproval that swept across his face.

 _Okay. So he hadn't forgiven me._

But this time I was ready for him. When his hand stretched out toward me I remained still and didn't even so much as flinch or narrow my eyes. I could do this. My body had to do this if it ever wanted to be fed again. And when his smooth fingers touched my cheek and gently slipped through my hair I was growing more confident of myself. Maybe he really hadn't planned on eating me last night. Predators usually didn't caress the hair of its captured prey they were about to devour.

His arm shot out around my waist and pulled me against him. Was my body a little stiff? Of course it was. But I still didn't pull away from him or make an attempt to piss him off while planted firmly against him, held in place by that massive arm of his. He could have crushed me in an instant. I was foolish, but not careless. I wasn't careless as V had said. I was just...scared.

He slid his hand behind my neck and using his sharp talon sliced the cord that held up my covering. It slipped down but remained above my stomach as we were too close together allow it to fall completely off. My breasts spilled out but he didn't look down to ogle them as I had expected. His eyes were boring into mine, inspecting for even the slightest indication I was about to have another one of those toddler fits.

He grabbed my shoulders and whirled me around, placing his hand on my back and forcing my chest and face down onto the bed. Of course he did. Why did I think there would be an iota of romance in this?

Still, I was doing considerably well until he split my dress in half and grabbed onto my hips. Panic began to well. I just couldn't control it. I didn't want it. I knew I didn't. But hadn't I just sworn to do anything to eat? Maybe that meant I wanted it. My head was spinning and before I knew what was happening I just shot forward onto the bed. Could he blame a human for instinctively trying to protect itself?

But that didn't deter him. Hands back on my hips he wrenched me back towards him and this time he stepped on the chain between my ankles. Oh, God. He was pinning me down.

He lowered himself down against me, foot still firmly planted on the chain. He softly dragged his tusks against my shoulder blade and in toward my neck. I guess it would have tickled if I wasn't so afraid he was going to use it like a wild boar and brutally tear my flesh to threads. A tingle ran down my spine but I wasn't sure if that was fear or my body simply betraying me.

It wasn't enough for him to just take me as I was. He had to go and flip me onto my back before kneeling in front of me to make me watch the whole thing. I clapped my legs shut and crossed my arms over my chest. I felt so vulnerable as he eyed me over, inspecting and observing me. I even think he was watching my chest rise and fall with building anxiety. Had the other girl felt this way? I was dying to know, but would never dream of asking her. She'd probably snap another one of those snide remarks about how stupid I was again.

He slipped his hand between my knees and forced them to open. I was kind of happy that chain was still clapped around my ankles. It kept him from shoving his entire body between my legs. At least for now.

 _"M-di H'dlak,_ " he said.

I stared at him and he said it again, leaning forward to caress the side of my face.

Was he being nice? Would have been nice to have V here right about now. I had been wrong in asking him why I needed him for this sort of thing. Maybe it would have been a little awkward to have him kneeling at the side of the bed coaching me, but I could handle him being somewhere in the room, at least.

He then lifted my legs and it became clear that he had no intention of removing my chains and planting himself between my legs. He was just going to work around them.

"Please!" I said desperately. "Please don't!" And there it was again. That wince on my face that gave validity to his subjects assumptions that I was weak and unworthy of his affections.

A low rumble welled in his chest before he let go of my legs and swept me off of the bed. Just like that. Like he was sweating and I was just a heavy blanket adding to his discomfort. I landed on the floor with a soft thud and waited for his big foot to land next to my head before pummeling my to death. But he didn't do that and he didn't leave the bed. Before I knew it the lights were dimmed and he had settled down on the bed.

So really V had been right. He...Kal'ar...was my master and I was just his dog. A faithful little pet content to curl up on the floor and just be near to its owner. But even as my eyes closed and my body begged me to give it a rest and get some sleep, there was one thought that kept gnawing at me: If I was like his dog, didn't dogs at least get fed?

 _ **Yautja translation**_

 _ **M-di H'dlak - No fear.**_


	4. Chapter 4 - Language Dance

_**Author's Notes:**_

 _ **Next round.**_

 _ **I dont own the Aliens/Predator universe and make no profit writing this story. I do own my characters, though.**_

 _ **** Special thanks to to my reviewers: Selice & Margiere and Guests - thank you for taking the time to ready my story and post a review. I'm not only thrilled that you read my story, but took the time to encourage me to keep going. I do this because I love to read & I love to write. So thank you for spending YOUR time on ME. & Dont worry, I didnt want to throw too much detail and too much explanation at ya at first. I'm getting there. Just want you to get to know our girl first before we get to know the bigger picture. Slow and steady wins the race, right?**_

* * *

My name was Exia Whitaker. I had a name. I also had a family, my own apartment, and even a cat. Long before my eyes had opened my brain had turned on and a flush of memories hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't just have a lack of existence before waking up in the woods. I was someone and there was someone who missed me. Well, it was probably only my cat who missed me, but that was more pathetic than comforting so I didn't linger long on that thought. But at least I could sympathize with how she must be feeling right about now. Hungry. Starving. About to eat her own flesh.

And then I had an epiphany. But weren't epiphanies supposed to be enlightening in a good way? Because the one that just hit me was anything but good. Obviously, I had known all along that I had a past before all of this. But why had I forgotten it? Why each time I woke up, both in the woods and on this ship, had I forgotten about my cat or the plant I never remembered to water on my kitchen windowsill? I obviously didn't have any head trauma, so I wasn't waking up from a coma with short-term memory loss. So I jumped to the obvious conclusion: I was being drugged. Or poisoned. Or maybe I was being gassed. This room _did_ feel strangely like a clinic.

And apart from knowing my name and who I was before all this, I knew his name - the Yautja still sleeping above me on the bed. And he probably hadn't hand-picked me himself. I was sure he had a flurry of servants and advisers that had been preying on humans unaware of their existence or the game these humans, like myself, would be dropped into to play. Maybe he was just as baffled and indignant at the arrangement as I was. So maybe I could just talk him out of upholding his clearly troublesome obligations and oblige his pessimistic elders. But if he was drugging or gassing me, why had I woken up and remembered _this_ time?

But those questions would have to wait. I had to get food. Had to find it, first. Maybe Kal'ar had been too busy sizing me up to lock the door behind him. But then again, I was naked with a pair of shackles on my ankles. I wasn't going anywhere unnoticed and even if I found a Yautja willing to look at me without issuing an expression of utter revulsion, how could I get it to understand me? Maybe I would just make like I was eating a burger and it would understand me. Wishful thinking. Hungry thinking.

And then the bed above me shuddered and Kal'ar was on his feet. He disappeared out of the sleeping quarters and returned a short time later wearing a brown loincloth. He regarded me a moment before reaching down and grabbing my face, his fingers squeezing into the hollow of my cheeks. I didn't even fight him. I was exhausted and starving. I just let him turn my head this way and that before roughly letting go and observing me quietly.

 _"Ju'dha?"_

I looked up. Maybe he was teasing me. Taunting me to fight with him again. Whatever he was doing, I just didn't care.

 _"Ju'dha? Naxa? Rjet?"_

I opened my hands and put them up like a white flag. I thought I was doing what he wanted me to do - submit. But he let out a low growl and stormed out of the room.

 _Damn it, V. And you really thought I was prepared to be alone with him?_

And then as if my mind had actually conjured V (no doubt he knew if I was awake, I was complaining) he appeared in the room with Kal'ar shoving him toward me from behind.

"Are you ill?" V asked.

I shook my head. Maybe if I was they would promptly remove me. I moved to correct myself, but the opportunity escaped me.

"Kal'ar has noticed that the fire in your eyes has gone out. You lie still as a wounded animal."

"I'm starving, V." There wasn't an ounce of anger or hint of demand in my tone. I was desperate and I just wanted him to put me out of my misery.

The two of them spoke at length and my gaze returned to the floor. How long did it take for a human to die of starvation? Or dehydration, for that matter? I thought I had heard two weeks. Maybe that was wrong, but I couldn't imagine another day, let alone another hour, of this torture. I mean, even sex slaves in a foreign country got to eat, right? Wasn't that technically what I was? Just in another universe instead of another country.

Kal'ar left the room and V reached down to help me to my feet. He helped me dress first, finding a new covering as the previous one was unsuitable after what Kal'ar had done to it. After dressing, V brought me out of the room and down a few winding halls before entering what appeared to be a lounge room. It was empty except for the two of us but a world more ambient than the sterile containers the Yautja called 'living quarters'.

We sat down on what I can only describe as an over-sized sofa that ran the length of the room and curved inward at the ends like a kidney bean. To my utter and total delight a small-framed Yautja entered the room (I later learned he was an eta - a servant just like me) carrying a tray of what I knew - and smelled! - was food. I almost jumped from my seat and pounced on him, but V put his hand on my shoulder to keep me seated.

"You will eat," he said. "But only after we speak."

There was always a 'but'.

"I know, V." I bent over, elbows on knees, and hung my face in my hands. "I messed up again. Ruined probably the only chance I had at a somewhat better life." Maybe the slave of a Yautja clan leader wasn't ideal to most, but a slave to one who wasn't so interested in finding a perfectly worthy mate? I'll take clean leader any day. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I could do this if I had something to drink. Like a bottle of vodka, maybe?" A dropped a subtle hint he might recognize.

The Yautja set down the tray between us, but as hungry as I was a different kind of pain had coiled in my stomach. V's warning reared its ugly head. If Kal'ar did not approve of me I was definitely going to be re-gifted to a Yautja that probably specialized in whipping spineless humans right into shape.

"Kal'ar wishes to communicate with you better. Though he can recognize the meaning of a few 'ooman' words, he is in no position to speak them. And so I am to begin teaching you how to speak to him in his native tongue. It will be difficult at first, but you will understand in time. For now it is more important that you understand body language...Interpreting his and understanding how your own expresses more than any human or Yautja words ever could."

V pulled back his hand and picked up one of the bowls on the tray. I looked at him and then the contents within the bowl. Foreign and strange yet utterly mouthwatering. Literally, my mouth began to water.

" _Naxa_ ," V said. He pointed to the vividly colored slices in the bowl. "Fruit. _Naxa_."

So that's what Kal'ar had said to me back in the room. Guess he hadn't been taunting me after all. In fact, I think he actually became aware of just how serious a few days without food had become. I mean, I didn't even bat an eye when he bent over and got in my face. So V was right. Fuck words. That - my body's unspoken language - said all it needed to say. V knew better than anyone else on this ship that I was just filled to the brim with words, so when I didn't say a damn word back to Kal'ar, I guess V was right in asking me if I was ill.

I took a piece and put it in my mouth and just let it sit on my tongue for a moment. The sliver of fruit was sweet and as I pushed it to the side of my mouth my teeth cut through it like butter. I took one look at V before snatching the bowl from his hand but he promptly caught my wrist and took it back from me.

 _What the hell, V?_

" _Hko_ ," he said firmly. "No."

"Yes," I snapped back. He had eaten and _he_ didn't even have a stomach.

" _Sei-i._ " He waved his finger at me. "Yes. _Sei-i_." Then that word again. _Hko_. I still couldn't have my fruit.

"You must never lose your focus. Never behave like an animal. The Yautja consider themselves better than _oomans_." He put his hand on me. "Humans...So if you want to convince them that you are not the _s'yuit-de_ \- weak and pathetic - _ooman_ they hunt for sport you had better start behaving like you are not."

Seriously? I was STARVING! And why did I have to do the convincing? They chose me. Not the other way around. Shouldn't they be groveling at _my_ feet?

"A Yautja never panics and feels no fear when on a hunt. They remain focused and determined in the face of adversity. Your hunger _is_ your adversity. Find your ' _zazin_ '. Be completely centered within yourself."

"V, I'm not hunting. I just want to eat. I promise...After I am done eating I will not act like an animal at the dinner table." Then I decided to switch gears for a minute. I had a burning question I just had to get answered.

"V, if we humans are so beneath them, why on earth do they want to make us their mates? Hell, forget everyone else. Why does Kal'ar want to make _me_ his mate? Have babies with him? Does that sound right to you? Hunting the majority, breeding the rest?"

A blank stare again. I guess he hadn't considered I would ask yet. Really wasn't that far out in left field to be asking a question like that. It had less to do with curiosity and a hell of a lot more with _why_ I was here in the first place. It was like he hadn't even considered I would _need_ to know.

"I will spare you the lengthy details and get straight to the point as I know your mind rarely lingers long on a single subject."

Did he just insult me? Could an android do that? Seriously though. I didn't know. All I had to go on was the bionic men and women of sci-fi flicks. Now I was living in one.

"Yautja females have significantly decreased in numbers. No scientific reason why, but more pups are being born male. More males, less females. And the females still alive and well...They tend to remain with their own clans. The last Yautja female of this clan died long before Kal'ar's Sire passed. Before Kal'ar was clan leader, a deal was being struck for a female from another clan, as the other clan had three. But the deal went terribly wrong and almost resulted in a war. That was until Kal'ar's Sire had learned from other clans in a similar situation had turned to Earth as a substitute." He looked at me to make sure I was still listening. Again with the insult.

"A female human's body is very compatible and capable of gestating a Yautja suckling. And Yautja females are notorious for being extremely violent during mating. They are taller and much heavier than the males. Any male Yautja looking to breed must prove himself worthy before a Yautja female will consider him. Many warriors, not so many Yautja females. So breeding with a species capable of properly gestating a suckling as well as having a submissive demeanor both physically and intimately...It has successfully solved the Yautja dilemma for now."

Gestation? Sucklings? Were we talking about being pregnant or regurgitating some awful kind of parasite?

"But it has been a difficult transition. Along with a language barrier, physical and cultural differences, there has also been an unfortunate amount of infanticide. There have been many humans incapable of adapting to their environment. Hating their pup as much as they hated its Sire. And to further clarify your position here, I will add that Kal'ar obviously seeks a mate he can trust with the clan's future leader."

Ah. Killing Yautja pups had everything to do with the pregnant lady in the woods. I guess they figured if I wouldn't kill a woman and her unborn child to save my own neck, I could probably be trusted not to kill one of theirs. And then it dawned on me that maybe I wasn't chosen by mere chance at all. For a brief stint I had volunteered at hospitals giving motherless newborns the warmth and love they so deeply craved. The connection was fucking infuriating. How long had these things been watching me? That was _years_ ago. No. Couldn't have been planned. Had to be by chance. Refused to believe these things had been observing me longer than they had while running naked in the woods.

And then I wondered if the other female 'competing' for Kal'ar (let me make it clear I didn't consider this an actual competition because competitions are _normally_ consensual) had spared her own pregnant woman in the woods. She didn't look like the kind that would so how did she wind up here too? I guess I'd find out eventually. The bitch was destined to show up in my near future.

And now we were back at it with the food, but he would not relent and let me just dig in. After the _naxa_ he moved and grabbed a plate of what looked like steak. ' _Rjet_ ', he called it. It was tough but extremely satisfying. Then, leafy greens: ' _dt_ '. Though it meant 'tree', I understood the connection. There would be many words that seemed widely apart but succinctly connected by the unknown origins of audible speech. Then a bowl of _s'pke_ , a sort of fruit stew. That was rather unappealing to my eyes but certainly not to my stomach.

Then V explained the textures to me. _Pyode_ was soft and _kainde_ was hard. _Kya_ meant the food was spoiled and told me what to look for. Would they really be serving me spoiled meat? V told me No, but warned against me hoarding food in my room. I hadn't even thought of that, but he had just given me an excellent idea.

Before I knew it the tray was completely empty and I was lounging back with my hands over my stomach which had grown several inches. I had _ju'dha_ \- water - before V really laid into me some words I wasn't planning on using any time soon. I couldn't picture myself speaking to Kal'ar about hunting, warriors, death, blood, and other violently suggestive terms. Nope. Not going to talk about that stuff with Kal'ar.

And then there was ' _N'yaka-de_ '. Master. That was a word I was more likely to use if only because it was expected of me to address Kal'ar as such. So says V.

 _Really? I can't just call him by his name? Wouldn't that break the ice a little better than a term reminiscent of slavery?_

"Doubtful that he will address you by your _ooman_ name. He may give you another, but very unlikely until he determines if you are a suitable mate."

Then came a lesson on how to determine the hours of the day. Morning was ' _taan kal_ ', midday was ' _taan guan_ ', and night was ' _guan_ '. When it was night, the ship was illuminated at its brightest and grew dimmer as morning approached. They were nocturnal. Hunted best at night. It made sense they would want to keep a regular cycle. Maybe they weren't so different from humans after all.

"So when my room goes dark it's really morning?" I remembered working a "graveyard" shift in my youth. Never got used to it.

" _Sei-i_. Your body will adjust."

As long as I woke up to a breakfast like this every day, who cared what time of the day, or night, it was?

"So..." My eyes drifted to my feet stretched out in front of me. "When do these," I rattled the chains, "come off?"

"When Kal'ar does not suspect that you will bolt given the opportunity."

"Is there a word for that? Like...promise? Or...I promise not to run?" I smiled meekly. It was a long-shot.

"Yautja have no need to make promises or oaths. Not like oomans do. They are inherently honorable and true to their word."

 _Then I'll just have to teach him what a promise means...In_ my _native tongue._

"So what now?" I couldn't imagine staying in this room forever. As nice as it had been to eat and relax, I had to work this off. I spent the better part of my day naked. Just because I was captured by an alien species did not mean that I had suddenly stopped being self-conscious. Did humans ever stop, actually?

And when the hell was V going to take me on a tour anyway?

"Now? Now you go back to your room."

I groaned. This time out loud.

"Tomorrow night - _guan_ \- there will be a feast to celebrate the newly blooded Yautja. Those that have passed their _chivas_ \- trials - and go from being Un-blooded to Young Blood."

Thrilling. Absolutely thrilling.

"Will there be food?"

V smiled. It was the first time I had seen a smile on a face otherwise plastered with indifference or hesitation - hesitation perhaps caused by his internal scripts ever assessing the situation. But a smile was a relief. Maybe it wasn't the same raw emotion felt by any creature with a living, beating heart, but close enough. And the truth was, I really liked him. He was an android, too, which made the deal even sweeter. He couldn't have ulterior motives. Whatever he was programmed to do, like in teaching me how to speak Yautja, he just did it and didn't try to sugarcoat it. There was no malice or trickery in anything he did. Was he irritating? Like when he snatched that fruit away from me? Of course. But at least I didn't have to learn an entirely different way of living just to be in the same room with him. And that was good enough for me considering I had to do it for someone much bigger.

* * *

So that huge hole in the floor that looked like a rounded vat was actually a tub. Filled with water it was the most inviting scene I had ever laid eyes on. I was actually going to get in it. I mean, obviously the musky odor proudly owned by every Yautja on board this ship masked any unpleasant odors I had the unfortunate pleasure of both owning and smelling, but the prospect of getting warm and getting clean? Absolutely priceless.

I would have totally skipped breakfast altogether if I had known this was waiting for me. V and I spent the better part of the night brushing up on my previous lesson, but this time he regaled me with an endless amount of knowledge as to the language of the human and Yautja body. It made me realize why Kal'ar had met me with such adversity. I thought I was just staring wide-eyed in fear. V said I was openly challenging him. V also said Kal'ar had been very easy on me, all things considered. Yikes. If that wasn't a temper, I'd hate to actually see the real thing.

And then of course in the moment of glory I was experiencing, Kal'ar stepped into the room. No, he didn't open the door because there was no longer one to open. And I doubt he had any intention of putting one on again, either. Before I knew what was happening, Kal'ar's loincloth was on the floor and he slipped into the water like a lithe, prowling crocodile.

 _Umm...what just happened? Is this another one of V's cruel jokes?_

" _S'ke'i-te_." His eyes lowered to the water's surface. I had heard that word before. Something V said about them polishing their trophies and armor. Then I remembered him saying it at the table when he pretty much told me I was just a trophy that needed a good ole fashioned cleaning. But I doubt at the time he had meant a bath.

" _H'ka-se_." His tone was sharp and now he was pointing at the water.

I guess that meant something along the lines of 'hurry up'? Whatever it meant, I had no qualms peeling off my fur covering in a hurry and practically leaping into the water. I mean, I got in a little more graceful than doing it straight cannon ball style, but I made it clear that whatever he said, I would be right on that. I wasn't ever going home, I sure as hell wanted to keep eating, and maybe 'gestating' a clan leader's 'pups' would have its benefit. Sort of like a groupie getting knocked up by a total rock star. There had to be perks, right?

Not a moment after getting into the water and hanging onto the edge so that I didn't have to doggy paddle to stay afloat, Kal'ar crossed the tub (or by the sheer size of it, should I say pool?) and put his massive hands on my waist so that I could let go without fear of struggling to stay above water before drowning because my ankles were still chained. Hell, at least I would be clean when they found me. Not like when I was concerned they would find me dead, naked and covered in dirt in the woods, the subject of some awfully written headline.

Nothing but awkward silence between us - at least it was awkward for me - I decided to teach him a thing or two about myself. And then maybe we would get to that promise bit I was determined to teach him. He was trying again, wasn't he? Giving me another chance?

I put my hand on his chest and said, "Kal'ar." He nodded. Okay, he was going with it. Then with my hand on my chest, "Exia."

"Ex-see-ya."

I shook my head gently. "Ex-ee-a." I repeated it again, just for good measure.

"Ex-ee-a."

" _Sei-i._ " I wondered if I was saying it right. "Yes."

His eyes widened in mild surprise. At least I thought that's what it was. I was determined to put all that V had taught me into practice which included careful study of his body language and serious consideration of my own.

" _Je'mar_?"

Well that threw me for a loop.

"Vy-ex-in."

Oh. _Oh._ He was asking about V and our lessons. I'd have to ask V about the word he just used, though.

" _Sei-i_."

And back to silence. But I was determined to get these chains off of me.

Hand back on my chest, I said: "Exia." Back on his. "Kal'ar, _nyaka-de_." Master. Yep. At least he will still with me. And him not flying into a rage at least meant that I was getting it right so far. Hand back on me, "Exia.. _.Hko kv'var_." That's right. No hunt. No hunting Exia, damn it.

Then I gently pushed his hand away from my hip, one after the other. I put my hands on his shoulders and lifted my legs to poke my feet above the surface. I jingled my chains and then let him hold me up again. "Ka'lar, _nyaka-de._ Exia, _aseigan_." Yeah, I just called myself his servant. Anything to get out of these miserable chains.

" _Hko_."

Ugh. I literally wanted to sink to the bottom of the tub now. Trying to convince him seemed rather pointless.

"Exia.. _.Hko aseigan. Nracha-dte, sei-i. Aseigan, hko. Ell-osde_ ," he placed his hand against my cheek, " _Ell-osde a'ket'anu_."

I had no clue what he was saying apart from denying I was a servant, which didn't make much sense since I was clearly told he was my master, but whatever the other two words meant, at least he was being gentle as he said them.

And going with the flow I moved my legs and brushed the chain against his. " _J'pi_. Wound." They sure as hell didn't feel pleasant and had definitely rubbed my skin raw.

Kal'ar lifted me up and sat me on the edge of the tub before bending my legs so that my feet were in his hands. With one mighty pull the chain snapped. I could hardly believe my eyes. Obediently soaking up V's lessons had definitely paid off.

I was so happy that for a moment I forgot who he was, what he was, and whatever the hell I was supposed to be and just jumped into his arms. It was reckless. I know that now. Should have known it then.

He tore me off of him and pinned me against the wall of the tub, his mandibles flared and his tusks poised as if with even so much as a twitch he would use them to tear a big chunk out of my flesh. I shook my head furiously and kept saying _hko_ over and over again. I hadn't meant to charge at him and go full on attack-mode! Damn, I was scared. I had seen him mad before, but this? I guess this was the look anyone one give if they thought I had just committed attempted murder. But then I remembered another word V had taught me: _Chi'ytei_. Embrace. And not the same as a 'bro hug', V assured me. It took me a long time just explaining what a bro hug was, but it was definitely not the same. _Chi'ytei_ was an affectionate embrace between lovers and kin.

Though he didn't let go of me his tense body did ease up a bit. His sharp tusks became relaxed and he was willing, at least for the moment, to trust me enough to let me explain. As if I could construct a full fucking sentence.

So I did the only thing I thought would convey that I had no intention of hurting him. V hadn't taught me a word for peace and I doubt Kal'ar would have understood what two fingers being held up at him the the shape of a 'v' would mean...I also wasn't about to find out, either. So putting the _chi'ytei_ to good use I gently slid my hands onto his shoulders and leaned in, resting the side of my head against his chest. Yes, total affection. If I wanted to survive, I would just have to learn to deal with the concept of respecting and yes, also admiring, a potential mate whether I liked it or not. And as strange as this was for me and surely him, it didn't hurt that this totally looked like I was grovelling like any good, concerned servant would. If that didn't satisfy his domineering ego, I didn't know what else would.

And then this odd sound started filling my ears and vibrating against my skin. It reminded me of when my cat, Winter (named so because she was pure white with blue eyes) snuggled up next to me on the sofa. She would purr until I was sound asleep right next to her. And by God if he wasn't purring right now. But I had the common sense to know that Kal'ar wasn't trying to lull me to sleep.

I lifted my eyes to his and suddenly being in the grip of something so massive and powerful wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Well, V's lessons would have been helpful earlier on. If I had heard this purring noise a few days ago I would have thought he was getting ready to spew hot acid at me. But the more I heard that soothing sound the more heavy my eyes became. Just like snuggling up next to Winter.

At last, we had both arrived at mutual territory, though I suspect my journey wouldn't have taken so long if V had honed my ability to somewhat communicate with Kal'ar first rather than starting off by trying to convince me that getting Kal'ar interested in me would be beneficial to popping out royal babies. The former would have been better ground to start on. The latter...I'd get there eventually, I guessed.

* * *

I was sure that Kal'ar had been disappointed in me. When I opened my eyes I was no longer clutching to him while the water lapped at my back. I was on the bed. In the bed. Not on the floor, but in the bed. And as much as I wanted to figure out how I had wound up on it in the first place, covered by these silky pelts, it dawned on me that he hadn't left me on the floor as if I was his dog. My best guess was that he had carried me there and nestled me in. That meant that I was making progress. First removing my chains, now permitting me to sleep on the bed. Huge strides. It was at least to a human at the mercy of a Yautja who just so happened to be the clan leader of said Yautja tribe.

My hand shot down between my legs. Nope. No pain, no blood. _That_ hadn't happened. Yet. And I definitely remembered last night, so maybe it was cool not to drug me anymore? I'd have to ask V about this the next time I remembered.

A sigh of relief escaped my lips, but ironically I wasn't overcome by dread at the thought of 'it' happening. If there wasn't going to be any romance, then at least I could hope he would be gentle. He had shown me that he was capable of that, so was it really asking too much to believe he would do it again? And then that gnawing concern that I had disappointed him. He was ready, he probably thought I had been ready, and then I just zonked out. In my own defense, his purring was an anesthesia of sorts.

The door opened and I propped myself up on my elbows. V burst into the room and practically floated over to me.

"Exia!" he exclaimed, though not in a panic but what sounded very much like excitement. "The entire clan is talking!"

"Don't they usually talk anyway...?"

He shook his head, not affected by my inappropriate sarcasm . "Talking about you, Exia!"

 _Again, V. Aren't they always?_

"Kal'ar is very pleased with you. Two nights without a visit to the other female." V rubbed his hands together like a giddy little teenager watching a fight about to erupt. "It is rumored that he even speaks your given name." He eyed me studiously. "Do you know what the means?"

No. I hadn't the faintest idea. Really. How could I?

"Uh...he was tired of pointing at me?"

"No, Exia!" Again, pure joy in his tone. "It means he respects you, Exia. Enough to regard you by your human name."

"Oh...So you mean him doing that is like another human calling me 'Exia' instead of 'Ms. Whitaker'?"

How terribly frustrating I must have been, even for a machine.

"I would have assumed Kal'ar would have given you a Yautja name...Something more pleasing to his ears...But he did not, Exia."

"Well, what does he call the other one, then?"

V shook his head a little to ominously for my liking. I was beginning not to like these new, frighteningly-similar human responses he was doing now. " _Pyode amedha_."

"Why the hell would he call her soft...meat?" As crazy as it sounded, it definitely didn't sound like the insult his facial expression led me to believe it was.

"It is a derogatory term for humans, Exia. Just as in referring to the _kainde amedha_ because of their hard exterior, Kal'ar is referring to a human's soft flesh...Both species are considered worthy prey. Both line the walls of a Yautja trophy room."

Ah. So maybe she wasn't the mating material she was cracked up to be. I was going to love rubbing that in her face.

And thank the lord I hadn't refused V's lessons. One more night of miscommunication and perceived challenges to authority and my ass would have been the one being called soft. Maybe my ass would have been on his wall, too. Well hopefully an actual ass wouldn't be considered a trophy. Seeing one among skulls and spines and teeth might be a little awkward.

Ah! I had almost forgotten what I wanted to ask V the moment I next saw him.

"V, can you tell me what these words mean? _Nracha-dte, ell-osde, a'ket'anu, h'ka-se, and je'mar_?"

"So the two of you _have_ been trying to communicate..." V's eyes would have looked terribly mischievous if they were human. "To answer your question, in your order, they mean: relentless, you, beautiful, now, and artificial being."

"Glad I could confirm the rumor for you." But what others were saying paled in comparison to what Kal'ar had actually said to me. First, he denied I was a servant, but did say I was relentless. Okay. He was only speaking truth. I could respect that. V was actually an artificial being. Made sense when I had hesitated joining him in the water that he barked 'now' at me. But the _a'ket'anu_? Well someone was being a little charming, huh?

"Well, as thrilled as I am that actual progress is being made...It goes without saying you have made quite a few ripples."

 _Ripples? V, I was making waves at this point._

"Oh, you mean with that bitch?"

"Calling a human a female dog would be most confusing to Kal'ar."

Maybe one day they would have the sense to program an android with a sense of humor. She sure hoped the Yautja had one. Maybe Kal'ar would find her wisecracks to be humorous instead...and perhaps even appropriate.

Much to my own chagrin, I corrected myself for him. "The girl, V. The other girl."

"Ah. Well then yes. Her. You can be sure she will try to undermine your efforts during the feast."

"How the hell can she be so cocky? I mean, come on! Weren't _both_ of us plucked from our naive existence and dropped into a game of 'who can bed the alien first?'."

V reached out and smoothed back my hair. What a mess it was. I was in desperate need of a comb but V just kept telling me my hair was more appealing this way. He didn't know what it felt like to have a heap of tangles forming at the base of your neck.

"She is fierce and confident. Soothes the elders' concerns that their leader will not be equally matched."

"So I'm not an Amazonian. Is it really such a big deal to mate and have babies? Or pups? Puppies? Whatever the hell you call them? At least Kal'ar doesn't have to worry that every time we have a lover's spat I'll be waiting for him to shut his eyes before I stab him or club him to death. Can the same be said for The Bitch?" Maybe she wouldn't kill her pup, but I had a gut feeling that if that bitch didn't get her way _someone_ was going to pay.

"Interesting." V disengaged his eyes and cocked his head. "Through your ceaseless sarcasm you make a valid point. I must speak with Kal'ar about this."

"Oh no ya don't." I huffed and glared at him. I wanted him to know I was serious. "Don't go telling him what I said about the whole lover's quarrel thing. Don't want him to get any ideas that we're at that level or anything." Level? Who was I kidding? I hadn't even been to first base with him. Which got me wondering how that actually might happen considering those sharp appendages surrounding his mouth...

"Come now." V held out his hand and helped me off the bed. "Must get you ready for the feast."

"Got a bib or something? Because I'm hungry."

"Even better."

What could be better than feeding an insatiable pang of hunger?

V would show me. He had a knack for trumping my limited, human pleasures. And also appealing to my human vanity.

"Made by the best," V said as he held up a midnight black pelt. You may be wondering why I was so excited considering I had already been wearing such coverings, but _this_ pelt...This was something every kidnapped-by-Yautja human dreamed of.

Form fitting and cinched at the waist, it was the human equivalent of the little black dress. The leathery straps that tied behind my neck were adorned with smooth stones fashioned into beads. No ordinary stones, mind you. Almost like yellow fluorite, but iridescent as if the sun had been captured in every fleck of the mineral that made up a single bead.

And at last, a covering that actually supported my breasts and covered my bottom. My entire bottom. No slip of the cheek in this one. Call me crazy, but in a room - hell, an entire ship! - full of males, regardless of species, being decently covered was something to be desired. And before V had even said it, I knew exactly where this tiny, yet personally tremendous blessing had come from.

"Kal'ar is very pleased, _sei-i_?"

Sei-fucking-i.

And by the enormous grimace on my face, I bet V knew I was very pleased also.


	5. Chapter 5 - Rivalry

_**Author's Notes:**_

 _ **Thanks for hanging in for another chapter. Hope it's keeping your interest so far. And again, thank you for your reviews.**_

 _ **** I do not own the Aliens/Predator universe, and make no profit by writing this story. I only own my characters.**_

* * *

I felt like I was attending a royal coronation considering the many details that had been put into the 'blooding' ceremony. I had an idea in my head what a coronation would have looked like in historic England, except the honorees weren't meekly standing center stage as they waited with baited breath for their prize, but pounding on their chests and letting out claps of thunderous roars, totally owning their new Yautja status.

And finally the elders had faces to put with the voices I had in my head - the voices I imagined them speaking with as they brought their insults and accusations of me to their clan leader. In my head they were speaking like me, but as they 'crowned' each Yautja warrior, it was clear I was just clinging to the hope that their world would change so that my uneasiness would soften. No, I wasn't a foreign princess they would make concessions for to make my transition easier. They had thrown me out to the wolves and it was up to me to decide if I would join the pack and be governed by their rules or refuse and be cut off from the security that came in numbers.

They definitely weren't going to be speaking my language any time soon and I knew I had better wipe that sickened look off my face as I witnessed what might be a lot like a Mason initiation. Except without the cloaks. These guys just had armor and thick, rubbery dreadlocks. Oh, and an open wound on each of their foreheads that V explained was made with the acidic blood of their kainde amedha kill. Of course, V was terribly annoyed that I had utterly missed the point and went straight into a drove of unending questions about these kainde amedha.

 _"You mean, there's like a whole other world full of aliens? You could have at least explained the whole pyode ameda versus kainde amedha thing. I thought you meant some prey had soft skin like humans, and others had hard skin like a turtle. V, seriously. I did NOT think you meant they hunted other aliens. That's like when scientists discover a new species. Okay, this one slipped the radar. But an entire universe of other species? That's a whole 'nother story."_

So V being V dove straight into a crash course of Extraterrestrial 101. And if that didn't blow my mind, it definitely blew my mind when he said there was a subspecies of Yautja. Except they were larger and uglier. Well, not exactly in V's words, but that's the mental image I drew from it. Oh, and these super Yautja apparently had no honor. Definitely wouldn't be sparing a lonely pregnant woman in the woods and wouldn't think twice about skinning my ass and hoisting me up from a tree. Okay, so I had a spear, which technically didn't make me defenseless. But did it count that I didn't know how to use said spear? But thank the lord it was Kal'ar's clan that had snatched me up and not the other one.

Kal'ar stood at the head of the procession and it became obvious that his clan actually admired and respected him. Not in the way a country respects its tyrannical king out of fear, but because Kal'ar must have been a just and honorable leader. A strong one, too. Ironically, Kal'ar had a brother who was not only in attendance but older than Kal'ar. Totally defied the human rights of royal succession. Again, Kal'ar must have been pretty ruthless in his younger warrior days to be made clan leader over his older brother. I was not looking forward to that family gathering.

Seeing Kal'ar's brother and also the elders also pointed out another obvious paradox: the fact that both his brother and the elders were physically different than Kal'ar. Not in size and weight or the ability to make a human like me lose control of their bladder with a slight twitch of their mandibles, but by their skin. The elders had a ton of spikes on their faces which made them look like evil porcupines. They also had horns on the crowns of their heads. Kal'ar's face was smooth and there were no spiney horns, to my utter relief. The elders also had faces that looked to be on the verge of disintegrating into dust with one puny poke of a curious human's finger. I had to make a mental note to never let my curiosity get the best of me.

Being in a room full of hundreds of Yautja also made it evident that they did not share the same red-flecked, tan skin as their leader. Some were green, brown, gray, and even dark blue. Some were pure in color and others were either spotted, mottled, or striped. No one Yautja looked the same. No twins or doppelgangers here. I was just happy not to see any red Yautja. Might have influenced my opinion that they were not in fact an intelligent, extraterrestial species older than the human existence, but genetic, hybrid crabs. If that was possible, I don't think I would be able to cope with the possibility of running into a hybrid shark that could actually fly a ship and speak...and wanted to mate with me. Nope. Not going to think like that.

But worse than being drowned in a sea of ancient creatures with a hankering for human spines was being in a room with other humans. Yeah. Other humans. You might assume being with my own kind might be comforting, but it wasn't. I felt like the odd one out. While they were pressed up against the side of a Yautja that had claimed them, I was standing here alone wondering what would happen to me if the leader of this pack didn't find me as interesting or tolerable. Yes, he had called me beautiful, but that didn't mean he was willing to put up with my antics for the rest of my short human life. By the looks of it, these women had it pretty easy: Get picked, get naked, get pregnant. Didn't matter much if they spoke a lick of Yautja or not. They didn't have high expectations to keep up with. Their Yautja, no matter how decorated in rank, was no clan leader. And certainly not a clan leader trying to satiate the concerns of his elders.

And then there was that one female in particular that really got my blood boiling at the mere sight of her. Datani, they - the other females - called her. I certainly wouldn't be calling her that. To me she was a haughty bitch, so what else should I call her? And she was making it pretty clear that she wasn't about to let Kal'ar re-gift her to a lesser ranking Yautja. She was all up in the business, standing a little too close to the procession for my taste. Hell, I had a deep respect for what they were doing. I'm sure they would have respected the fuss in crowning a new, human king. But respect or not, hovering over them was crossing an unspoken boundary.

V had made it crystal clear that the Yautja did not consider us, humans, as equals. Compatible for breeding standards? Yes. Death-defying warriors with enough rank and title to stand at the side of the elders and take part in the ceremony rather than watch? Hell. No.

And if The Bitch wanted to get caught in that sticky trap, by all means...I wasn't about to stop her. I had one goal. One goal V also made crystal clear: Prove I could be trusted enough to bear the clan leader's young. Prove I would no longer resist my new life and try to enact vengeance by murdering their prince's pups. I don't know what the hell Datani's translator was teaching her. Looked like her focus had been on proving she was just as strong and dominant as the Yautja that had captured her ass in the first place. Not a message I wanted to be sending. I had challenged Kal'ar for the last time with that stint with the washroom door.

When thirty-two Yautja went from Un-blooded to Young Bloods, the entire room evaporated within minutes. Shuffling toward that big room I had the unfortunate pleasure of watching everyone else eat but me, I stuck with V at the tail end of the line. My father, who had been a deeply religious man, once recited a scripture that stuck with me throughout the years. Something about taking the lowest place so that the host would come and move you up to a better one. Or something like that. I wasn't religious, but I also wasn't stupid enough to grab the best seat in the house. Not if I wanted to keep the hair on my head.

And when I mean that I wasn't about to grab the best seat in the house, I mean that I literally walked my ass over to the table in the far corner of the room with the other girls who surprisingly weren't as unwelcoming as I suspected they would be. And an added bonus: V. They were thrilled to the gills at having a translator to unload all of their pesky communication burdens onto. And since he was technically the equivalent of a human 'bff', we were a packaged deal.

Some of the girls spoke English, but a few spoke Russian, German, and French (French as in this girl was from France and French Creole as in another was from Haiti). Aside from the three, including myself, that spoke English, the group had formed a sisterhood bond despite their own language barriers. None of them had been given translators as they were used for the sole purpose of breeding, but they managed to communicate through body language and even signing. What a relief that I wasn't the only one feeling a bit sore about my own situation.

But do you know the one thing we all shared in common? Our total, absolute dislike of The Bitch. I mean, V did make it clear that they were a tad (he was being modest) jealous of my arrival as well, but I hadn't insulted them the way Datani had. I guess I wasn't the only one she enjoyed antagonizing. Yeah, I was standoffish and definitely hadn't gone out of my way to manipulate V into introducing me to them, but at least I didn't mock their lower status the way Datani did.

When on earth (ha!) was someone going to pull that silver spoon out of her mouth?

After the Yautja were served their buffet of meats, greens, fruits, and what sure as hell looked like bread, our little table of misfits finally got to eat. V was delighted to teach them what he had taught me about the food, but this time I got to learn how the food wound up on the ship in the first place. Hunting. I guess it wasn't always horror, violence, and gore. And as V described the preserves in which these Yautja hunted to replenish their supplies, I found my thoughts less concerned with there being actual planets other than Earth with life, but with what could I do to get myself on one of those trips? Definitely wanted to see some purple grass, a triple sunset, and what I imagined looked like Earth's version of deer, only with an extra head and a pelt the color of blood red.

 _So that's where that red covering had come from..._

"H'ka-se."

Naxa poised at my open mouth I looked up and saw Kal'ar standing behind V. He was looking at me, but I didn't think he was actually talking to me. I just kind of stared at him. Didn't want to get up when he was talking to someone else at the table and totally embarrass myself.

"Ex-ee-a, h'ka-se."

Shit.

I dropped that piece of fruit like it was poison and was up on my feet before V could even make like he was about to chide my inattentiveness. Kal'ar waited until I was beside him before clapping his arm around my waist. Though he didn't drag me alongside of him, it was clear that if I didn't keep up with his pace I would be dragged along. Right to the head of the table.

He sat down and pulled me onto his lap. It was awkward at first because this wasn't a human lap I was sitting on. I had to make several adjustments just to feel like I wasn't a careless shift away from falling between his legs. But he did keep his arm snug around my waist, which was comforting. At least he got it. And maybe there was hope he would have patience with all the odd nuances attributed to any human out of their environment. Literally out of their environment.

But more awkward than generally sitting on his lap was sitting on his lap at the head of a table flanked by elders. Yeah, those elders. The ones clearly unhappy with their leader's choice and even more unhappy that he had just put me on display. Even though I was sure that by being clan leader he could do whatever he wanted anyway, I had to admit that it was pretty brazen of him to have me perched on his lap, his arm keeping me pinned against his body. A giant 'fuck you' to everyone in the room. Possessive? A little, but I was just thankful that it was me bearing the brunt of their unreadable stares and not The Bitch.

And if you're wondering, she was staring too, but she was too far down the end of the table for it to even matter.

And then it happened. A Yautja voice speaking human words. My head pivoted to the elder on Kal'ar's right. And yes, he had been speaking to me.

"Not sickly."

Hadn't V warned me not to speak to any of them? Not to even look at them? Clearly he was speaking and looking at me and expected me to respond. But when I looked to Kal'ar for permission, he did not return my deer-caught-in-headlights stare. His attention was elsewhere. How convenient.

"Me?" I asked. I even did that stupid thing of putting my hand on my chest as if he was looking at anyone else other than me.

"Sei-i. Not sickly."

"...Hko...?" Were we really doing this right now? I looked over Kal'ar's massive shoulder at V and furrowed my brows. He was too engaged with the other women to even remember to glance back at me.

"Ooman," he paused to nod toward The Bitch at the end of the table (who was just writhing in her chair that she couldn't hear), "says you are sickly."

"Ill?"

"Is there another use for 'sickly'?"

Well, there's _sick_ sick, and then there's _gross_ sick.

But I didn't bother explaining that to him. And if The Bitch had called me 'sickly', I imagined she meant the gross kind; the one that calls to mind something so hideous and disgusting it's hard to keep from vomiting and not the _sick_ sick of a human with a common cold.

"Not sickly," I decided to reply. Then I also nodded my head down the table at her. "No honor." I doubt telling the elder that she fought 'dirty' would make any sense. Maybe he'd even arrange for her to have a bath and we just couldn't have that happen.

The elder let out a high trill. "Is warrior. Fight like Yautja."

"Do Yautja throw stones in glass houses?"

He gave me a curious stare. "Not sickly. Stubborn."

Why did everyone think I was stubborn when all I wanted was to shed some light on some grossly inaccurate misconceptions?

"Stubborn. And weak."

If I didn't know any better I would have assumed this Yautja elder was trying to pick a fight with me. But I did know better. That was just his opinion of humans in general.

"Not weak. Just not strong like Yautja." Defiance with a touch of flattery. It could work wonders in the human world.

But if what I had said either verified or dismantled his audible observations, I would never know. He didn't say another word and I wasn't about to press the issue further. I just went back to sitting quietly in Kal'ar's lap, content to be a pet and no longer a point of interest.

And then came this garnet-colored drink called 'c'nlip' and suddenly I thought I could manage being alone in a room with any Yautja. Even those super-beast Yautja species V spoke about. Sauntering back to the human 'kiddie' table, of course with Kal'ar's nod of approval, I drank as much c'nlip as they permitted. And they were very, very liberal considering this was, after all, a feast.

Despite V's gentle nudges and warnings for me to go easy, this c'nlip tasted damn good. Damn good. Not only was it sweet, but it warmed me and loosened the perpetual tensing of muscles I had just assumed would soon become second nature.

"Why are you always pestering me, V?" I looked at the other girls who were drinking and laughing and oblivious to V's ominous expression.

"C'nlip very powerful. Not like human - "

"Yeah, not at all like what we have back home."

I was finally enjoying myself and eventually V backed off. They even had a good bout of poking fun at the Yautja while I just listened, ingesting every word of their tales of breeding-gone-wild. I assumed that if they could be making light of their initial terrors now, maybe one day I would be laughing alongside of them about my own. Had V been human I think he might have blushed.

And then that dangerous surge of liquid courage crept up. The one that turns scrawny teenagers into raging, hormonal bodybuilders and goads them into walking up to the biggest guy at the bar to pick a fight with. Although I don't think I was scrawny, I definitely felt like a raging, hormonal bodybuilder. And the biggest guy at the bar? Not the biggest and not a guy at all, but the one I definitely had my beady eyes set on.

The Bitch.

There was a lot I thought I could take from her, but slithering over to Kal'ar's seat was surely not one of them. Interjecting herself into the midst of the elders and using her translator to chum it up with them, I suddenly found myself in the throes of scathing ire and insatiable jealousy. I knew I didn't have a legitimate claim to Kal'ar. He didn't belong to me and as far as I knew, I didn't really belong to him, either. I was just here for now, and my place here wouldn't be set in stone until Kal'ar finally chose a mate. And he hadn't picked me yet. I wasn't his mate. But I sure as hell knew that he hadn't picked her either. She also hadn't nearly starved to death or had to make herself look like an utter fool trying to speak Yautja just to get a little wiggle room with her legs. That devilish c'nlip had me feeling like I did have some sort of a claim to him. Even if it was only in my head.

And then my growing animosity just exploded as this annoyingly tanned, black-haired, haughty bitch started to run her fingers alongside Kal'ar's arm. This wasn't just a jealous rivalry. This was life or death.

"Fight Datani?"

I turned toward Ayida, the Haitian woman, whose beautiful, brown glimmering eyes were boring into mine. She wanted me to do it. Hell, _I_ wanted to do it.

As if she suspected the reason behind my hesitation, she added: "Kal'ar will be angry. But you are a strong woman." _Didn't they call that being stubborn?_ "Can handle Kala'r's anger."

"You think he will be angry?" I didn't ask V because V thought Kal'ar would be angry about pretty much anything I did. I wanted to ask Ayida. I wanted to ask the others. They were living alongside their Yautja, not translating for one of their potential mates.

"Yes. But anger for show. After, will put you in proper place. Alone...Kal'ar pleased." Maybe her explanation wasn't poetic or make a whole lot of sense, but she cut right to the chase through the struggle of her broken English. Kal'ar would be pissed, take it out on me in front of his peers, then thank me for it later.

I smiled. No one had been in my corner and now suddenly there was five of them ready to cheer me on from the sidelines.

"Kal'ar would be very angry if he knew you were prompting me to make a scene..." My thoughts switched to the elders at the table. Kal'ar's anger would be really bad. But an elder's? I still didn't know where they fit into the whole wheel of authority, so I had a valid question to ask. "Will elders punish me?"

Ayida smiled wryly. "With the way he had you up on his lap, his arm practically an anchor, do you think they would?"

Margot jumped in. "Will find it very entertaining. Just as entertaining as when a Young Blood thinks they can spar with an Elite. There is honor in ranks, Exia. Establish your rank."

She had a good point. The Bitch was never going to yield. And even after what was about to happen, maybe she still wouldn't yield. I at least had to let her know I wasn't going to stand for her cocky looks or slick remarks a minute longer.

Before V could intervene, sensing that I had made a firm decision, I bolted from my chair and flew across the room. I didn't need any more reassurances from the gang as soon as The Bitch had dropped herself onto Kal'ar's lap. Reaching across Kal'ar's chest I grabbed a fistful of The Bitch's hair and yanked her off of his lap right onto the floor. Once she hit the ground I knelt over her, cocking my arm before bringing my fist down hard against her shell-shocked face.

Blood spattered from the her nose and she cried out, desperately kicking and flailing her legs underneath me. Truthfully, it only made me angrier that the The Bitch was resisting me as if she was an innocent victim. After having enough of her knees against my back I pinned her knees with mine and held her head against the floor by her hair. I successfully landed four more blows across her face, splitting her lip and causing a vessel in her eye to pop, before two heavy hands clamped down on my shoulders and lifted me off of her.

Kal'ar whirled me around to face him and when his voice clapped out over the rise of trills and rumbling (and the glorious roar of female cheering) the room fell silent.

"Ki'cte!" he roared.

V was right beside us now and spoke for him.

"You dishonor our blooded warriors! With what right do you assault this female? Is it I that has given you permission or do you assume this authority on your own?!"

Ayida had been correct. Kal'ar was very, very angry. His words cut more deeply than any blade ever could. And not only because he was chiding - no, shaming - me publicly, but because he seemingly defended this haughty, undignified bitch who had made no discernible effort to make a connection to the very one defending her now. And if that hadn't made matters worse, Kal'ar shot V an angry glare as if he was somehow responsible for the entire ordeal.

Kal'ar roared for an eta to approach and let go of me so forcefully that I nearly lost my footing and landed right beside that bloodied bitch whose feigned expression of innocence made the whole thing worthwhile.

He barked something at the eta and V reached out and took my hand. Yeah, he was sending me back to my room. God, he was probably going to put chains on my wrists now, too.

Before I left the room I looked back and to my utter delight Kal'ar had not assisted The Bitch to her feet. I realized I must have been smiling about it when Kal'ar narrowed his eyes and pointed at the door, basically telling me to get the fuck out of his face. But again, his ire and rage had been worth every ounce of blood that had spilled from Datani's nose and mouth. My only regret was not having permanently disfigured that mouth of hers so that she could not flash that slippery smile at Kal'ar ever again.

* * *

 _ **Yautja translation:**_

 _ **Ki'cte - Enough**_


	6. Chapter 6 - Spar

_**Author's Notes:**_

 _ **Thanks for the views and reviews. This chapter is more of a filler. They can't all be leave-you-at-the-edge-of-your-seat exciting. But I'm building.**_

 _ **I do not own the Aliens/Predator universe and make no profit in writing this. I only own my characters. Which I hope you at least find a connection with one.**_

* * *

No V tonight.

The eta that escorted me back to my room blocked V from entering, but neither of us fought the separation. Because of my actions I was in a world of trouble. And now so was he. But I had to keep reminding myself that V didn't feel panic the way I did. And if anyone came out on top of Kal'ar's anger, I was sure it would be V.

So I shrank into a huddled mass on the bed and prayed Kal'ar's anger had subsided before opening that door. But when the door finally did open, it wasn't Kal'ar that entered, but an elder. The same elder that I had seen countless times hovering near Dalani and her translator. I could have been jealous that she had the advantage of having two coaches if he hadn't been balking at me with what can only be described as wrath.

It was still early and I knew the feast would not be over for many hours, which was exactly the reason his presence in my room was so troubling. In fact, what business did he and I have that warranted a visit to my private room? Shouldn't he have been tending to Dalani's wounds instead of mingling with the outcast?

And then without a word he approached the bed and snatched my arm, pulling me - no, yanking me - off the bed and pushing me down onto my knees on the floor. To prevent me from moving, he wrapped his scaly fingers around my wrist and bent my arm.

"Yield." His voice was low but would not bend to the influctions of an emotional human. It was just a command. No anger, no desparation. Just Yautja dominance.

"I _am_ yielding." I used my eyes to remind him of my position on the floor, as if my submission wasn't already obvious enough.

"Yield to Dalani."

Damn. Wasn't expecting that one.

Maybe what I had done to her hadn't been so bad after all if this elder thought the only way to get Kal'ar to choose Dalani was to steal into my room and threaten me. Not that I was making light of the situation. He _was_ pretty threatening even without the _verbal_ threats.

Again, the elder was here, but not Kal'ar. It made me wonder why this elder was intervening. Made me wonder even more why Kal'ar had intervened. Didn't V tell me that the Yautja wouldn't interfere with 'human squabbling'? Wasn't it expected that contentious rivals would eventually come to blows? So maybe it was apparent that I had a leg up on her. That was a relief. The elder staring me down right now? Not so much.

"Hko," I said. Yes. I used his own language because I wanted him to know that I had put more effort into assimilating into his culture than his precious Dalani had. Didn't this elder know that Dalani had requested Kal'ar have his own translator so that _he_ could learn _her_ tongue? Not that I suddenly believed gossip to be the bible truth, but the rumor seemed to fit. Dalani would try to bend the rules. She just seemed ruthless like that.

"You are not suitable for Kal'ar. Will birth weak pups. Dalani is a warrior. Will give Kal'ar strong pups."

How the hell could he even see that? Yeah, she was a head taller than me, but calling me and my 'pups' weak? Though influenced, no species was governed solely by its heredity. And they said Yautja were intelligent...

"Dalani fought honorably and is a leader in her right. Will make a suitable mate for our leader. You did not fight at all and spared your own kind. Kal'ar may believe this makes you a trustworthy bearer, but you are weak. You only spared _your_ kind. Dalani accepted her new position without complaint. Did not require chains."

He had a point about the chains.

"No one has asked _you_ to mate with me. So I guess your opinion really doesn't matter."

 _Oh God, the sting._

His hand was so quick I didn't even have time to brace for it. And then the hot, stinging burn of the aftermath of his open-handed wallop. I even think I was mewling, but that quickly turned into a sudden gasp as his hand closed around my throat.

"If you will not yield, it will be done for you." He lifted me and lowered his eyes to mine. "Do you know how the Yautja claim their pets?"

 _I'm sure you're about to tell me._

Yes, even when I couldn't use my own voice I had a brain that would use one for me.

"Through breeding. Then they walk their pet through the halls of the ship so that every other Yautja can smell his scent on her."

He squeezed a little harder and I felt the blood in my face draining.

"And a female that has not been marked is ripe for a Yautja in rut. It would be nothing to send you down into the bowels of this ship and let a Yautja in full rut take out its unrivaled aggression on you. Kal'ar would not be able to stand the smell of it on you. You will be no good to him _used_."

The elder let go and I crumbled onto the floor, gasping desperately for air. Long after the elder had left I had finally taken control of my heaving lungs and managed to crawl into the washroom. If the elder was telling the truth about the scent of another male on me being utterly unbearable for Kal'ar, then I was sure as hell going to scrub my skin like I had just come into contact with an infectious disease. And then I'd find a mirror to examine the damage done to my face. And think of some plausible reason for it when V asked. Hopefully V would ask and not Kal'ar.

* * *

I was stirred from a sleep I had unknowingly slipped into when the door opened. It was dark and though my mind was still heavy in its waking, remembering the elder not long ago in my room I was suddenly filled with terror that the elder had made good on his threat. I even buried myself underneath a nest of pelts and curled into a ball as if that would stop a 'rutting' Yautja from getting to me.

I whimpered at the touch of a Yautja hand that crept beneath the pile of furs and ran the length of my arm. Pulling back the furs, he, whoever he was, settled down beside me and ran his fingers up my arm to my neck, stopping to slip his fingers into a mess of curls. I was trembling and buried my face into the bed to muffle any screams that were edging out of my throat.

 _God damn it, V!_

Why hadn't he warned me about that? About the scent? I would have let Kal'ar do his thing the first time around.

"Ex-ee-a."

His voice cut through my fears like butter. That massive weight on my chest relented and I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him, burying my face against his chest instead of the bed this time. He could regale me with his fury at having made a scene at the feast and I would not have uttered a single word in my own defense. I was just glad - no, thrilled! - that it was Kal'ar and not anyone else.

I was holding it together until he ran his fingers up my chest, placing his thumb on one cheek and his fingers on the other to lift my face to his. I whimpered again and recoiled, softy touching my left cheek to soothe the throbbing.

I had pissed him off now. Only this time, I wasn't intentionally rejecting him. A low rumble began to swell in his chest before his hand shot forward again and took hold of my face. I wanted him to hold me, I did, but I just couldn't take the pain.

"Hko," I said, trying to lift his fingers. "Hko. J'pi." Not sure if 'wound' was the correct choice of word, but I didn't have an endless bank of Yautja words to tap into. There was only so much V could teach me in a day.

Kal'ar let go and the rumbling stopped, but I had set in motion something far greater than the ability to quell an easily riled temper. He leaned off of the bed and the lights clapped on. Though not blindingly bright, it was bright enough for my arm to impulsively shield my eyes.

"Hko," Kal'ar said, gently pulling my arm down. But all tenderness dissipated the moment he saw my face.

At that moment, I wish I had been able to find that mirror I had so desperately searched for so that I didn't have to solely rely on his expression to gauge the damage. I also hadn't thought of that logical explanation, either...

He shot up on his knees and dragged me onto mine with him. Fingers digging into the sides of my arms he was shouting at me, but I didn't understand. He was shaking me, but I didn't understand!

In his rage I put my hand on my swollen cheek and said 'j'pi' again. Then touched my throat, which he hadn't even noticed but made him even angrier, and said 'j'pi' again. He was watching me, trying to understand _me_ now. Again, my hand on my cheek. Again 'j'pi'. Then, taking a deep breath, I said, 'Yautja'."

But there were hundreds of Yautja. How could I tell him which one had done this to me?

And then it hit me. Horns. I at least had the ability of narrowing it down for him.

So I mimicked something a child would do to make bunny ears, repeating 'Yautja' as I did it. Then, probably looking like a complete fool to him, I took one of the pelts and draped it over my shoulders like a cape.

 _God I hope he can hurry up and figure it out._

But even if he recognized my charade as an elder, there were dozens of them.

"Ooman Dalani Yautja."

There. The Bitch had only one Yautja fan that I knew of.

Kal'ar gave me one of those murderous stares, but for the first time I was relieved that it wasn't actually _me_ he was giving this stare _to_. More like allowing me to see what my revelation had just done to him. Then he scooped me into his arms and lifted me off of the bed.

 _Okay. We're leaving the room..._

He carried me to his own quarters and set me down on the bed. Still furious, though thank the gods not at me, he pointed at me.

"Ex-ee-a." He moved from pointing at me to pointing at the bed. "Ex-ee-a," again, then pointed at the bed.

Okay, so he didn't want me to leave the bed. I was more than happy to oblige him. No way in hell did I want to be in any other room than his. It was brazen enough that the elder had stormed into my room, put his hands on me, and threatened to have me raped. But storm in his clan leader's room? Didn't think that was happening.

Though I waited for Kal'ar to return to his room after abruptly leaving, he never did.

In fact, Kal'ar had not returned to his room for six days. Each time the door opened I was hoping his would be the first face I saw, but it was always an eta bringing in trays of food and a bitter smelling ointment for my cheek. Nasty smelling or not, it did take away the sting and began to fade the blue and yellow bruise left in the elder's wake of fury.

This time when the door opened it was V. It had been three days since he was permitted to see me, but as soon as he made his way over to me I flung myself into his arms and sobbed. Unashamedly.

"You have done nothing wrong." V patted my back and even though I knew it was simple programming prompting him to respond to my upset, I needed it. I needed it so bad.

"Elder His'tgar has been stripped of his title and will now remain an eta. He will never harm you again."

That made me happy. Well, happy would have been His'tgar having his dreadlocks ripped out one by one before being thrown into a hive of kainde amedha, but I would settle for an elder being demoted to eta, for now. But if the wrong had been righted, why had Kal'ar not returned? And not that it slipped my notice, but Ayida had been right: Kal'ar would be publically angry, but privately pleased. I think _it_ might have even gone down that night had the elder not made an impression of his palm against the side of my face.

Then, in the midst of my blissful musings, V delivered another smack across the face.

"Kal'ar has joined his hunt brothers for a hive cleansing."

Really? He had just dished out some serious punishment (maybe more shameful than serious) and then decided to call a hunt? _That_ did not make me very happy.

"What the hell, V?"

"Exia...you must understand that this is the Yautja way. A way to clear one's head and become centered again. Elder His'tgar's treachery has surely weighed heavily upon Kal'ar. It was one thing that His'tgar publically denounced you, but quite another that he touched Kal'ar's property. Though you are not his mate, you _are_ his property. So rather than one allow his rage to get the best of him, a Yautja will return to his roots to center himself again."

Would it not have been easier to have a good romp in the sack and afterwards smoke a cigarette rather than drop into a kainde amedha hive? I certainly wasn't looking forward to losing my virginity to Kal'ar (if size was any indication, you can imagine why) but I'd take that over fighting 'black dragons' (as V called them) any day.

I pulled away from V and sat down on the sofa by the window. More drama had been crammed into my short time here than any that had plagued my teenage years. It was simply unbearable.

" _You_ must also put His'tgar's treachery behind you. You will need to focus as you have been instructed to begin your training."

"Training?"

"In the 'kehrite'. Training room." He came around the sofa to face me. "Dalani will also begin training."

Good to know The Bitch was back on her feet.

"You should know that Kal'ar sanctioned your training on account of His'tgar's actions. There will be many times Kal'ar is away from the clanship and you will need to have a base knowledge of protecting yourself in his absence. Also, should Kal'ar choose you as his mate and in the future dies, your position will become unstable."

Purposely ignoring that last sentence, I asked: "Do you think that even with years of training I would ever be able to overcome a Yautja? Is that even a serious consideration?"

"Not conquer, Exia. Defend. At least well enough to retreat and seek safety."

"And Dalani? I didn't hear about any elder slinking into her room and threatening to have a rabid Yatuja rape her." I was furious. Somehow Dalani kept coming out on top.

V gave me time to compose myself as I had not only audibly evidenced my ire but visibly wore the expression of it as well. It felt like a total waste of time training to defend myself against a creature that could literally rip out my spine without breaking a sweat.

"Kal'ar is not only a warrior and leader, but a diplomat, Exia. He has built a reputation of being impartial which is exactly why His'tgar, an elder, was punished as any below his rank would have been punished. If concessions are made for title, the clan's allegiance will wane. And also, Exia, as Kal'ar has not yet made his decision as to a mate, allowing _only_ you to train would send a message that he has already made his decision."

"Well then why don't you tell him to just pick her? Because I don't want to do this. I don't want to do any of this anymore." I doubt I would have said that to Kal'ar's face, but it was only V here. And V often bore the brunt of my unhappiness, but I didn't have to fear being honest with him. But this was more than unhappiness. Shit, I was just plain old _tired._

"It will be a good distraction for you, Exia. Perhaps one day invaluable."

* * *

I had been given a day to wrap my mind around my training sessions that were, to my disappointment, not negotiable. But finally coming to terms with another challenge to face, standing in the kehrite with a black bodysuit that made me look like a futuristic Catwoman, nothing could have prepared me for the fact that my instructor was a Yautja. Not V. Not some martial arts expert snatched up from Earth specifically to train me, but a Yautja.

Oh, V was present, but had the easy task of sitting sideline to oversee my lessons. But the form that overwhelmed my view was a big, bulky Yautja holding what looked like a baton. Really, he could have been holding chopsticks and I still would have been wondering what on earth I had done in my previous life to deserve this now.

"Ki'cti-pa," he said.

Was I supposed to do something? V sure as hell wasn't jumping in to translate.

"Ki'cti-pa." He stepped forward and tossed the baton at me which I barely caught. That had certainly earned me a glance of irritation. "Combistick."

Retrieving a second 'combistick' he came to the place my feet had been firmly planted and showed me an impression in the center of the narrow pipe. At least it looked like a pipe to me, only a tad more interesting than the pipes underneath a kitchen sink. And it had a sharp, double edged blade at the top.

"Here," he said while bending my fingers around the stick and placing my thumb on the impression. "Here." Then stepping away he showed me his thumb on the impression of his own combistick.

His thumb flinched slightly and in a millisecond the baton-sized stick transformed into a spear the size of his body. He nodded for me to repeat him. I took a deep breath before pressing my thumb down and bent my knees to support myself against being hurled forward when it finally extended. It was heavy and I was beginning to wonder what the hell had made Kal'ar think I would be able to use this kind of weapon. Or any weapon, for that matter.

"N'got," he said. "Very good."

Damn. I didn't know if I should take that as an insult because really, how good could it be that I was able to press a tiny button? Or if maybe it was good because those that had tried before me somehow wound up impaling themselves? If the latter, I was rather hoping that someone was Dalani.

"Now throw."

I looked at V for direction, but the Yautja snapped a growl at me and said again: "Throw."

Okay. You asked.

I leaned back, my arm and the spear at eye level, before arching forward and hurling it at him. Yeah. You can imagine it was a total miss. Utterly pathetic.

The Yautja began trilling and clicking his mandibles.

 _Is he laughing at me?!_

"Kal'ar's pet, Dalani, has yet to miss."

Suddenly my embarrassment transformed into righteous anger.

He tossed his combistick at me. "Throw." And if what he had just said about Dalani hadn't been enough to make my blood boil, standing totally erect and _closing his eyes_ had fucking steam pouring out of my ears.

So this time I threw it more forcefully hoping it would land dead center between his closed eyes and wipe that smirk off his face. If Yautja could smirk. But it didn't and instead landed a short distance from his feet.

"N'got. Maybe with a little more practice you will successfully be able to pierce Dalani's foot. Then you can watch as she drives her combistick straight through your heart."

 _Damn it, why does everybody think I am so fucking weak?_

"Again." He picked up both combisticks and tossed one to me.

I spent the next six hours hurling this alien javelin at a Yautja called Gikvaris, attempting to prove I was not this weak little human he and everyone else believed I was, and miserably failing at it. When I suggested beginning my training with a smaller weapon, he agreed...so long as _I_ agreed that if I felt comfortable enough defending myself with a smaller weapon he would charge at me to ensure I was properly able to use it.

Never mind. Let's keep some distance between us and keep tossing these metal pikestaffs at each other.

His parting words to me after that first day of training stayed with me long after we had left the kehrite. His words kept me from complaining to V about how hungry or exhausted I was and even kept me from sleeping long after I had laid my head down. I had no right to be angry. The words he had spoken were true and the truth was oftentimes ugly.

Nothing would prevent Dalani from striking first. There was no rule preventing her from eliminating her competition, as there had been no rule preventing me from grabbing her by the hair and giving her a couple shots across the face. I had taken Dalani by surprise and done damage. How much more damage would be done to me if Dalani decided to take me by surprise? Though I had not been intent on killing Dalani, it was certainly obvious to this neutral Yautja unaffected by human rivalry that Dalani was now intent on killing me. If she could not win Kal'ar by affection, she would certainly win him by elimination.

Of course Gikvaris didn't put it quite like that, but V was right: the Yautja didn't beat around the bush with long explanations and subtle warnings. He basically said Dalani was coming for blood and wouldn't be using her fists to get it. It definitely snapped me out of my pity party and reminded me that my being here wasn't as simple as wooing a clan leader and popping out his babies. It was time to set down my tiny violins and pick up that combistick and hurl it at Gikvaris as if my life depended on it because one day my life may actually depend on knowing how to use it. Nothing says death like being caught with a combistick in your hand without the faintest idea of how to use it against the object propelling toward you.

I barely realized it had been weeks since I had last seen Kal'ar. It dawned on me just how long it had been when V told me Kal'ar was due back from his hunt soon. And though I knew my focus should begin to turn toward welcoming him back warmly (and perhaps V even meant warmly into my bed) I was driven to continue my progress with Gikvaris. I was getting better. A lot better.

After that first training session I woke up with barely any sleep the next morning and trained with Gikvaris for six hours. When our session had ended, I told him – not asked him – to meet me back at the kehrite after the last meal of every evening. He could have given me a rash of shit for it, but instead he cocked his head, regarded my seriousness for a moment, and said 'sei-i'.

And so we trained twice a day for four weeks. No weekends off (though how the hell was I supposed to know how days were counted in space) and I still had to find time to fit V's lessons in. So either V instructed me while in the ring of the kehrite or we did it while eating our meals. I had many invitations to visit the girls since we had obviously hit it off, but I had to rebuff them for now. They weren't in the fight of their lives. We could always paint nails and curl our hair later. Later, when I was Kal'ar's mate. Because I had made up my mind about that.

"Advance," Gikvaris said.

And this time I didn't hesitate. I shot up from my low crouch and lunged in his direction and with both hands on the combistick used mine to block the powerful swipe of his. When we first started practicing like this, I ended up on the floor every time. I just couldn't keep my legs firm enough to withstand the blow. But I was determined not to let him knock me over for much longer.

Before I had proven I could hold my ground (and every time landed smack dab on my ass) he would take it easy on me and not use full strength when bringing his combistick down against mine. Now that I had proven I could stand my ground he was not as lenient. And yes my arms were terribly sore by the end of the night and my thighs even more from tensing my legs for hours on end, but continuing to be lenient would never benefit me when facing Dalani. I needed him to be hard on me. Harder than Dalani would be.

And then, after blocking his combistick, I pressed my heel into his side and pushed him off and away from me, dislodging our combisticks. You can imagine that the first week of this must have been pretty grueling and perpetually embarrassing when I put my foot against his side and he didn't budge an inch. He was a brick wall. An immovable mountain. And I had to learn how to use one leg to push while using another to remain perfectly positioned behind me so that I wouldn't stumble backwards. Again, many days by Gikvaris simply remaining still my ass was sent spiraling onto the floor. But I never let the failure defeat me.

And when I had mastered pushing Gikvaris back, I moved onto jabbing at him with the combistick to put even more distance between us. He could have moved right into teaching me combat, but he reminded me that a better offense was a good defense. I had to allow my opponent time to tire himself (or herself, depending on who I envisioned jabbing at) out and use the distance between us to look for a weakness. There was always a weakness, Gikvaris told me.

We moved onto the 'crouch and lift', an approach not used by Yautja, but one that would be useful to someone of my size. Gikvaris did not plunge straight into putting demonstration into action, but slowly took his time showing me exactly how I would need to execute the move. To V it must have looked like we were dancing in slow motion, but the more days we spent practicing, the more our slow dance became a 'tiny ooman' bracing for a charging Yautja.

Crouching low on the mat, my combistick aligned horizontally to my chest, Gikvaris hunched over and launched into a full fledge attack. I held my combistick steady and controlled my breathing. Every fiber in my body wanted to scream bloody murder, throw the stick at him, and run like hell toward V. But Gikvaris had been patient with me and built the necessary layers of confidence required to stand my ground when something three times my size was charging at me like a raging bull.

And when Gikvaris was within arm's reach I lifted slightly to extend my leg behind me, thrust my combistick directly against his sternum, used my extended leg to push forward, my straightened leg to push up, and pushed like hell with my arms when his upper body folded over the combistick, using the momentum of his curving body to lift him over my head and throw him behind me. It was only in this instance of being charged at that I could use this against my opponent. I had to use their momentum to propel them up and over. Running at them...I'd just be hitting another brick wall.

I turned around just as Givkaris was getting up off of the mat. He put his fist on his chest and bowed his head in a respectful nod. God it felt good getting that from _him._

"N'got, Ex-ee-a."

But Gikvaris' mandibles hadn't moved. And he didn't call me Exia. He called me 'tiny ooman'.

Gikvaris stepped to the side and gave another respectful nod toward a group of Yautja that had at some pointed entered the kehrite. The middle Yautja stepped up and onto the mat and stood facing me. His bio-mask was matte black and narrowed just below the cheekbones. He wore a black net bodysuit which was a stunning backdrop for his polished bronze armor. And even before he removed his bio-mask I knew what total badass was behind all that impressive armor.

"Dahdtoudi," he said.

I looked back at Gikvaris.

"He calls you 'Little Knife'."

Kal'ar began to peel off his armor, letting the heavy pieces fall to the floor beside him. After unfastening his wrist gauntlet, wrist blade, and abdomen shield, he stepped back to the edge of the mat.

"Ex-ee-a: M-di h'chak."

Again I looked to Gikvaris.

"He wishes to spar with you. Is telling you 'no mercy'."

"What? I can't do that. Gikvaris...tell him I can't do that."

Gikvaris shook his head. "Not asking. Challenging."

"It only counts if I accept right?" I was carefully eyeing out a way of escape before Gikvaris motioned at the combistick in my hand.

"Is great honor, tiny ooman, for a Yautja to consider one a worthy challenge."

"But this wasn't for fighting _Yautja_. This was for fighting other _oomans_."

"Hko. This was for you." He stepped back off of the mat and walked the length of the room to join the other Yautja.

Turning toward Kal'ar, he was already in position. He nodded for me to take mine so I inched closer before crouching low on the ground. It was clear that even if _I_ wasn't ready, _he_ was.

And then he charged at me and I lost my confidence. Standing to meet him I used my combistick to block his. When I lifted my leg and put my foot against his hip, he used his free hand to reach down and grab my ankle before pushing me down onto the mat. He brought his combistick down but I blocked him before rolling to my left and jumping back onto my feet.

Okay, I was still in this so far.

I took a few jabs at him while stepping back, just like Gikvaris had showed me, but looking for a weakness, I couldn't find one. Gikvaris had shown me many examples of weakness, but this just wasn't working. Before I knew it my body went down into a crouch and I steadied my combistick. I was ready for him this time.

And when Kal'ar rushed at me, I couldn't believe that my arms were actually moving. That my legs hadn't turned to jelly. And that I had actually lifted him over my head and flipped him over me. But I didn't felt victorious. I felt horrified.

I inched forward and dropped my combistick, hoping that the Yautja at the edge of the ring would not immediately seize and execute me.

And then that sudden movement that gave me hope I had not mortally wounded the clan leader disappeared when I suddenly realized he was sweeping his leg against mine. I fell down onto my side and he was already kneeling beside me, combistick poised at my throat. He had totally tricked me. And showed me that when my enemy was down, strike before they could get up and strike at me.

The Yautja watching from the sidelines pounded their fists against their chests.

"N'got," he said with a low trill before setting down his combistick and pulling me up onto my feet with him.

"S'yuit-de." I even think my voice was as pathetic as what I had just called my performance.

"Hko," Kal'ar said firmly. "N'got jehdin."

"Very good spar." Gikvaris stepped onto the mat. "He is pleased."

"Pleased? I lost."

Was that not obvious?

"You may have lost, but you have come very far. How long do you think you would have lasted if you had tried before your training?" Gikvaris motioned toward the door. "Go. You no longer need training."

"I'm done? But I can't be done. I'm not ready. I – "

"Kal'ar thinks you are ready."

I smiled, but shot him a wry smile. "I will see you tomorrow."

"You – "

"Don't pretend you have anything better to do." I brought my fist to my chest and bowed my head before moving to stand at Kal'ar's side.

As we left the kehrite, V moved up to my side.

"Well done, Exia."

But I wasn't feeling as optimistic.

Even after V told me there was going to be another feast to celebrate the success of the recent hive cleansing and that I should allow myself to enjoy the success of my own 'cleansing', my thoughts were consumed with my progress being overshadowed by Dalani the moment Kal'ar watched her spar.

I was going to have to consume a fierce amount of c'nlip to drown this anxiety.


	7. Chapter 7 - Tongue

_**Author's Notes:**_

 _ **Sorry this took a little longer than expected. I had several ways I wanted to go with this chapter and just needed a little time to work it out in my head. Thanks for the views/reviews, as always. I thoroughly look forward to the encouragement.**_

 _ **I do not own Aliens/Predator and make no profit in writing this story. I do own my characters, though.**_

* * *

When V came back to get me he stood wide eyed at the door. I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled.

"You like?"

"Exia…"

I finished slipping my arms into my bodysuit and zipping up the front before meeting V at the door. Yeah, he was totally shocked I had cut my hair. I had given him a fair amount of warning before doing so. I begged him to snag me some of that oil the Yautja use on their rubbery dreadlocks, but a girl can only beg so long before taking matters into her own hands.

"You are not going to the feast?"

 _Do I look like I am?_

I shook my head, moved passed him, and left the room. He followed me, by now aware that his question no longer needed an answer as I was heading toward the kehrite instead of the hall which was in the opposite direction.

I pushed open the door and met Gikvaris on the mat, leaving V to make his own decision as to whether or not he was going to stay and watch. I was sure V would give me one of those monotonous verbal lashings for not attending the feast (which in all honesty was a big deal since it celebrated a successful hive cleansing), but he didn't. He must have understood that I had finally found my purpose. That I wasn't going to stand around helpless while others plotted against me. I also wasn't going to wait around for a bunch of elders to deem me worthy. Don't get me wrong, that _was_ important, but I needed to prove my worth to myself before I could convince anyone else of it. And if I failed at least I would fail knowing I had made a hell of a try. And I think V understood that, choosing to take a seat on the sideline instead of trying to convince me with a hundred reasons why I should be at Kal'ar's side instead.

"Ooman." Gikvaris greeted me with a nod. Then he cocked his head and clicked his mandibles. A curious stare before, "Better," and touching his own 'hair'.

"Sei-i."

I had pretty much taken my hair from the middle of my back to just above my shoulders. And it looked anything but professionally done. But no matter how uneven and choppy, I certainly wasn't going to continue battling with my hair _or_ allow it to interfere with my training. There was only so many times I could swipe sweaty hair out of my face before Gikvaris saw _that_ as a weakness and promptly exposed it.

"I have a wager for you," I said as he tossed me a combistick. I extended it and took 'hiju' - position.

"Sei-i?"

"I want you to come at me full force. If I can withstand you for three minutes, I want you to take me to one of your preserves."

Gikvaris trilled. "Why does tiny ooman want to go to preserve?"

I held up my combistick. "Tiny ooman is tired of hurling this at the wall."

Gikvaris trilled again and took position. Slightly hunched, he lifted his arm and kept the combistick above his shoulder. "This will hurt."

"Sei-i. Very much."

In my first attempt I lasted thirty seconds before Gikvaris brought his combistick down against my left leg. I couldn't stop the guttural cry that escaped my throat or the labored breathing slipping through clenched teeth when I hit the ground, no matter how desperately my pride wanted to mask the pain. But I stood up, sucked it up, and took position again.

He waited to see if giving me more time to feel the incredible sting would sway my decision to go again. It didn't.

"Sei-i?"

I nodded.

He advanced again. I used my combistick to block him, but he was too quick for me to get my foot against him. He turned and spun around, extending the combistick and bringing it hard against my arm like a windmill. Pain shot through my arm but I was quick to jump back and return to a defensive stance. He was relentless and the best I could do while trying to cope with the pain that radiated down my arm and into my hand was to circle him; dodging the thrusts of his combistick and twirling away when he lunged.

When he was close again I brought my combistick down on him, but his arm shot up and he caught it. To my horror he literally tore it out of my hands and tossed it out of the ring. He used the blunt side of his combistick and thrust it against my stomach, knocking me off my feet.

As I lay on the ground, holding my stomach in a fetal position, he stood over me.

"Again?"

I groaned and promply told him no.

He retracted his combistick and extended his hand. It took me a minute to gather the strength to get onto my feet and I just knew I was in for a world of pain in the morning.

"N'got."

"N'got?" I shot him a horrified glare. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

"Better this way. Will make you work harder to avoid the pain."

He had a point. I sure as hell was going to work overtime to avoid getting clocked like that again.

V approached and allowed me to shoulder my weight on him.

"You had better run along now, tiny ooman. Stay too long and Kal'ar will put an end to this."

He knew if I had the physical stamina I would spend every waking hour in training, but he was the first to remind me of my duties as 'clan leader pet'. But despite his subtle teasing, I knew he was very serious. Arrive late? There'd be some ruffled feathers. Not show up at all? Wasn't even going to think about it.

But I was already weaving a plan to get myself out of the feast early enough to come back and train again. Gikvaris was always sparring even when others began nestling into their beds. I liked to sit and watch him and he didn't seem to mind my doing so. And on the rare occassion when Gikvaris was not in the kehrite, I worked on moves I had seen him doing.

I followed V out of the kehrite but despite his gentle protests I refused to change out of my bodysuit. It was a bitch just putting it on let alone having to peel it off of me with a bum leg _and_ a bum arm.

Thankfully when V opened the doors none of the elders took notice of my late entrance. I thought I would make it over to the girls scot-free but then that would just be the total antithesis of every experience I had had since arriving. Mistakenly I looked over at Kal'ar who had obviously been watching me ever since I entered the room. And now that our eyes had locked, there was no way I could feign ignorance. So I took a deep breath and pivoted my direction toward him.

Before I could utter a word of apology or offer a meek excuse, he took my arm and planted me on his lap. V stood beside his chair just in case Kal'ar decided to speak to me. For the moment, he hadn't decided. His silence was a double-edged sword. Without the back arched or mandibles flared, I couldn't tell if he was angry. Without trilling or clicking, I couldn't tell if he was amused or pleased. Reading Kal'ar during these bouts of silence was like trying to decipher the mood of a stone.

When he finally spoke, to my relief it wasn't directed toward me. I was just hoping the longer I sat here, showing him I was content just to be near him, the more he would forget that I basically thought training with Gikvaris was more important than the success of his recent hive cleansing. Technically, his presumption would have been correct because I believed training would bring me closer to defeating Dalani, but I wasn't about to try and explain that to him.

V knelt down on one knee to translate for me without disturbing Kal'ar.

"He has asked if Dalani has completed her training."

 _Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

I was hoping her answer would be no, but as soon as her trill voice clapped out over the deafening silence, I just knew I was in a world of trouble. If she had finished, why hadn't I? Would it prove that I was weak and only delaying the inevitable?

But then she kept talking and I couldn't believe what my ears were actually hearing. Only I got to hear her words first instead of waiting for them to be relayed by a translator. I felt the shock of her revelation before I felt Kal'ar begin to bristle. I even moved my hand off of his arm and braced myself for being dumped off his lap in his budding rage.

Her tone was as smooth as honey, but it was her words that clearly conveyed the high opinion she held of herself. "It was very generous of you to allow Exia to train after she was threatened by Elder His'tgar – "

 _Yeah. That's all it was. Just words that left a big ass bruise on my face._

\- "but I have clearly demonstrated my fighting skills and felt that my time would be better utilized learning and understanding your traditions to gain better understanding of what is and will be expected of me."

As much as I wanted to stew on how many jabs she had just taken at me in a single breath, there was an even deeper undertone in her message. And Kal'ar hadn't missed it.

Certain that I did not want to wind up on the floor in the wake of the storm building in his rumbling chest, I slowly moved off of him. But just as my foot hit the floor he slid his arm around my back and cupped my hip, firmly pulling me back against him.

 _Okay. Just gonna have to ride this one out._

Kal'ar spoke and both V and Dalani's translator worked in unison to translate.

"I am pleased that you have measured your skill in combat against that of my greatest warriors. You will have the advantage over Exia who was trained by Gikvaris, one of these warriors."

Dalani 's expression revealed that she was aware she was in hot water and moved quickly to abate his anger.

"The scales would be woefully uneven if I were to train as Exia has trained. Perhaps now with her training she will be a worthy opponent."

I was starting to feel like any time I was in the room with Kal'ar and Dalani I was sure to be insulted and humiliated. And there was somewhere I would rather be than on his lap in the midst of a powerplay. I knew I couldn't say shit about what was happening. V would just tell me to keep my nose out of it or one of the elders would again accuse me of being a defiant, dishonorable ooman and further rally behind Dalani.

When Kal'ar began a heated exchange with the elders I dislodged his hand from my hip and slid off of his lap. To my surprise he did not try to recall me. I think his anger had at this point turned into borderline aggression and there was no way in hell I was going to sneak in for a goodnight kiss. Without bothering to go through the anxiety of slinking away gracefully I just simply walked right out of the room. No one tried to stop me and no one called my name out in a hideous roar. I was glad Kal'ar had returned from a successful hunt, but politics just wasn't my thing. Neither was being perched on Kal'ar's lap while my enemy delivered veiled insults under the guise of gratitude.

Already dressed and not having been gone for more than ten minutes, when I walked into the kehrite Gikvaris let out a high, light trill.

"How much hair did you pull this time?"

I rolled my eyes at his cheapshot and joined him on the mat. He was no longer using a combistick but a wrist blade firmly attached to his forearm.

"Try?"

I looked up from my lingering gaze. "It only works if you are three heads taller than your opponent. And if you've got tree trunks for arms."

Gikvaris removed the wrist blade and stepped down off of the mat. I was disappointed to see him retire so early, but I had a lot of frustration to let out with or without him here.

"Come."

"Where?"

He said no more before walking out of the kehrite and I put a little pep in my step, despite the throbbing that now radiated down my entire leg, to catch up with him. I followed him down a maze of halls before he finally stopped at a door. My mouth went dry as I realized that this was the door leading into his private quarters.

Was I even supposed to be with him outside of the kehrite?

He opened the door and left it open, allowing me to decide whether or not I would follow him the rest of the way. I looked to my left and then to my right.

 _Eh, what the hell?_

Closing the door behind me I walked slowly through the dimly lit room. Gikvaris called out to me and I followed the direction of his voice into another room. I waited until the lights flickered on and my jaw dropped when I realized we were standing in his personal armory. Not the one in the kehrite with irritatingly limited options, but Gikvaris' personal stash. Wide-eyed and in utter amazement I inched closer to the weapons displayed on the walls. He trilled in amusement at my admiration, but to me this was like the holy grail of shoe closets.

"Choose."

I pivoted my head.

 _No. He can't be talking to me. Me? Tiny ooman? No way._

"Tiny ooman has exhausted combistick. Choose another."

Shit. He really _was_ talking to me.

I let my eyes wander over the rows of weapons, some whose function was immediately clear while others were left to my imagination. I knew energy weapons were out of the question, but god they were appealing. I'd just about do anything to strap a shoulder cannon on and blast a hole right through Dalani's wicked, little heart.

When I lifted my choice of weapon off of the wall Gikvaris cocked his head, his mandibles clicking rapidly.

"Will need to be in close proximity with opponent," he intoned gravely.

I nodded. "Sei-i."

"Will need armor."

I thought about that for a moment and shook my head. "H'ko. Will need to be ready without."

He trilled again. "Temporary. When you are ready you can take off armor."

But I was adamant that he teach me without armor. "H'ko."

Gikvaris nodded his consent. "N'got. What is a warrior without scars?"

I regarded his question as rather poetic before I realized what he meant.

This was going to hurt a lot more than getting the wind knocked out of me by a combistick. No more throbbing, radiating pain that faded after a few hours with a cold compress. Dalani was coming for blood and so it was just as well that Gikvaris did the same.

* * *

I peeled off my suit and with mechanical, stiff movement stepped down in the water. The moment I immersed my body into the hot water it lapped at my open wounds, feeling as if salt was being rubbed into the scattered slashes on my arms, shoulders, and legs. No gaping wounds that required surgical intervention, but ones that were sure to heal painfully slow. I braced for the impending burn and used my hand to gently wipe away small, black fibers from my suit that had dried in the creases of several wounds.

I heard my door open and I turned my body to keep V from seeing me. Not the wounds, but my nakedness. I knew underneath all of that hauntingly realistic latex skin that he was a droid and would feel no sexual arousal in seeing me in the flesh, but modesty was embedded into the fibers of my being. Maybe the Yautja were comfortable walking around in nothing more than a loincloth when not in armor, but being naked made me feel vulnerable. I bet there wasn't much that could make a Yautja feel vulnerable.

"Ex-ee-a."

The hair on the back of my neck stood stood up. I guess Kal'ar had finally noticed I wasn't sitting on his lap anymore.

I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my head, trying my damnest to keep my body from view. I didn't have the words to explain why the hell I was covered in sizeable knicks. Hell, I just didn't have words at all. And I certainly didn't have words to explain why I had been late to the feast and then left before saying a single word to him. So I just smiled at him and hoped he would go easy on me.

But I guess he had a pretty good idea of where I had been as he bent over and picked up my suit, regarding the tatters of the d'lex infused mesh. Though d'lex repelled the acidic reaction of kainde amedha blood and made any weapon made of it indestructible, this suit was for non-lethal sparring. Considering what Givkaris and I had been doing, I'd have to find a better alternative.

"Kehrite?"

Ugh. The look on his face.

"Sei-i." I nonchalantly lowered myself in the water.

He looked again at the suit and then put his hand palm up, curling in his fingers.

Yep. He was going to have a real good look at me.

Hoping to satisy his curiosity I lifted myself so that the water was just above my breasts, but then he curled his fingers again. Again I gave him more of a view, but again he curled his fingers until it was obvious by a sudden swell of rumbling that my antics were not quelling his curiosity, but stroking his irritation.

I threw up my hands (mentally, of course) and stepped out of the tub. His mandibles instantly flared and when I looked down I easily understood why. The warm water had dissolved the seal of dried blood and allowed my wounds to bleed freely again. It looked rather ghastly, I admit, but they didn't feel as bad as they looked. Honestly.

"H'ko kehrite," he intoned angrily.

"H'ko!" I cried, flashing him an angry glare of disapproval.

I instantly regretted it. Not telling him 'no', but the way in which I just shouted it out like his decisions didn't matter. As his eyes narrowed I half suspected he was going to use those tusks of his to fillet me where I stood.

"H'ko?" He let the suit fall to the floor and came around toward me.

I stepped back but he flashed his tusks as a warning. When he was right in front of me he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him, eyeing the wounds on my shoulders first before moving his eyes down the length of my body to regard the rest of them. He used his finger to trace the largest cut on my forearm, the one I had earned when I tried to take a swipe at Gikvaris' inner thigh. But instead of flying into a verbal rage of words I didn't understand, he started to purr instead.

A Yautja purred in response to pleasure or to comfort a female (Yautja or human) who was in pain or in fear. Totally confused, though leaning more toward the pleasure theory as his n'dui'se began to fill my nostrils, I decided to just roll with it.

"Dtai'k-dte ooman Dalani."

"Fight?"

"Sei-i. Bpi-de kv'var."

I was pretty sure he was telling me that I was ready to move on from training, but again, V was no where in sight when I _really_ needed him.

"Dtai'k-dte? H'ko jehdin-jehdin?" His choice of word also confused me, as V had on numerous occassions explained to me that as I, and unfortunately Dalani, was Kal'ar's property we could not consensually enter into challenges that could result in deadly harm to Kal'ar's property. Jehdin-jehdin was hand-on-hand combat to showcase combat skills. Dtai'k-dte permitted the use of weapons which could result in serious harm. Well, it actually _would_ result in serious, if not deadly, harm because this wasn't just some spat to inflate a wounded pride. This was much, much more than that.

"Sei-i." He traced another wound and purred again. Ah, the Yautja and their love of scars. "Ex-ee-a...Nain-desintje-da," he put his hand on my chest, "n'ithya."

 _God, V, where the fuck are you?_

I shook my head, helpless. "I don't understand."

He bristled, but I was confident that it was not my lack of understanding that annoyed him. I didn't think Kal'ar expected me to be fluent in Yautja after only a couple of months. There was something else behind his frustration.

"Kal'ar...take...Ex-ee-a...n'ithya..." He shook his head, annoyed. "N'ithya...Land...reward for...pure win."

I hadn't realized that my jaw was ajar until he slipped his finger under my chin and closed my mouth, letting out a light trill. I blushed briefly before jumping on him and wrapping my arms around his neck. He planted his hands on the sides of my thighs to support me as I bounced up and down like a giddy little school girl.

"Ex-ee-aa...pleased...to see...land?"

I stopped fussing over him and looked at him plainly. "Land? Exia _more_ pleased Kal'ar speak ooman."

He clicked his mandibles rapidy. "Will give Ex-ee-a...reason to win."

I shook my head. "H'ko. Kal'ar is _only_ reason to win." I slipped my hand onto the side of his face and daring the impossible, brought my lips against his inner mouth.

When I pulled away he tilted his head, unsure of my gesture.

"Ooman chi'ytei. Kiss."

He put his hand behind my head and pulled my mouth against his again before quickly leaning back. "Kiss?"

I laughed lightly and nodded. "Sort of."

He looked taken aback by my laughter. "Sort...of?"

I wasn't even going to try to explain.

"Like this." I brought my mouth against his again but this time I parted my lips and pushed my tongue out. No surprise that he did not open his mouth to greet me. Without moving away from him I slipped my finger up to his mouth and gently nudged at his lower teeth. Opening his mouth slightly I pushed my tongue inside, tasting something sweet and earthy.

Careful not to alarm him by withdrawing my tongue too quickly, I slowly pulled away and when my eyes met his, I nodded. "Sei-i. Kiss."

Again, as if he was a toddler being introduced to a new, shiny toy, he brought my mouth against his and this time was already waiting with a narrowly parted mouth. I laughed lightly before pushing out my tongue, but this time he met me with his own. Narrow and forked, he gently slid his tongue against mine before forcefully pushing it into my own mouth. I shivered, to my own surprise, in delight and allowed him to use his tongue to explore the inside of my mouth.

He began to purr but suddenly withdrew and set me down.

"H'ko n'got?"

"Sei-i." He lifted my face to his. "N'got. Sei-i, n'got." He paused before speaking again, lowering his eyes and tracing my wounds again. "Must...heal. Give Ex-ee-a...better wounds."

Oh. _Oh._

My cheeks filled with color.

Suddenly I couldn't wait for Kal'ar to leave. The sooner he left, the sooner I could get to sleep and wake up even more determined to kick Gikvaris' ass. And I'd get my hands on more of that ointment they had given me for my cheek. Yeah, had to heal these wounds fast so I could get to making ones I would actually enjoy making...and having.

* * *

 _ **Yautja translation:**_

 _ **bpi-de - end**_

 _ **n'dui'se - Yautja musk**_

 _ **kv'var - training/exercises**_

 _ **Nain-desintje-da - the Pure Win/absolute victory**_

 _ **n'ithya — ground/dirt/earth/land**_


	8. Chapter 8 - Prude

_**Author's Notes: Thank you to all my readers/reviewers. Just a word of caution, with this chapter and as we progress, if a human/yautja coupling isn't your thing, don't read. I've rated this story from the beginning as M just as a forewarning.**_

 _ **I do not own Aliens/Predator and make no profit writing this story. I do own my characters, of which I am very pleased belong to me.**_

* * *

"I do not have all day."

I was frozen in morbid fear as the Yautja, Kyhamet, bristled in irritation with my hesitation to undress. I had only met him a minute ago and he was already demanding that I remove my clothes and step up on a small platform in the center of the room.

Gikvaris put his hand on my back and for a moment I thought he would intervene for me, explaining that I belonged to Kal'ar and that undressing would be at the very least a crime, but instead he just shoved me forward and followed with a low growl of warning.

 _"Gikvaris..."_ I hissed.

"Undress. Now." Gikvaris turned his back to allow me some privacy, but it didn't matter much as Kyhamet was glaring at me, ready to tear my clothes of with his razor sharp claws if I didn't get moving.

I stepped up onto the platform and untied the cords of my covering. After stepping out I gathered it against my chest, clinging to whatever dignity I had left, but Kyhamet promptly tore it away and tossed it on the floor.

"Ooman is very thin." He moved around me like a vulture circling, inspecting every inch of my body while continuing to utter what were, to me, insults.

"Gikvaris, I have created mighty weapons and armor fit for the gods. Now you bring me this ooman and ask me to make armor? You bring me a branch from a tree, not a warrior."

Gikvaris trilled and I glared at him. Had I not believed that Kyhamet would snap me like the twig he regarded me as I would have picked up my covering and ran. But even if I was fast enough to escape the length of his arm, I still had to get past Gikvaris.

"Will be very difficult," Kyhamet rumbled. "Sei-i. Very difficult."

"You will be compensated for your trouble," Gikvaris said plainly. He was adamant that only Kyhamet build my suit. Yautja worked wonders, I suppose.

"And her?" Kyhamet asked, no longer looking at me but pointing at me as if I were merely an object and not a trembling, naked female. "Suit will be difficult. But can you entice the ooman not to interfere?"

"I won't," I protested.

"And keep quiet?" Still he would not look at me.

Gikvaris trilled again and nodded. "Sei-i. If she becomes difficult, you have my permission to send her back up to the main level...without her covering."

I knew Gikvaris was teasing me, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Kyhamet would not understand Gikvaris' subtle sense of humor. Gikvaris was the type who would get pleasure out of causing a little mischief. And no one would question him because he was an Elite.

Kyhamet nodded and disappeared into a smaller room. I refused to look at Gikvaris who was now, again, trilling in amusement at my irritation.

"Will be back for you," he said.

"Wait! What? You're leaving me here alone?! With _him?"_

Gikvaris clicked his mandibles rapidly before turning on his heel and leaving.

 _Mother. Fucker._

Kyhamet returned with a simple bodysuit and held it up against my body. He picked up my arms one by one before letting them flop back down; lifted my chin and visually measured my chest; used his own arm to assess the length of my legs. As awkward as it was that his face was literally inches from my breasts and other unmentionables, his eyes never lingered long on any one part of my body and his only concern was the precision of his visual acuity.

He disappeared again, this time longer than the first, and I began to settle into my own, albeit bare, skin. Maybe it was Gikvaris that had made me feel uncomfortable, but not in a way that I was afraid he would digest every inch of my body. I didn't want him to see me naked and therefore vulnerable. I wanted him to see me as the product of his grueling instruction. His tried and tested patience. His former, pre-blooded self.

"Lar'ja?"

I turned my head as he came back around toward me.

 _"Lar'ja?"_ He had a rather gruff tone, but this time his impatience bled right through it.

It took me a few moments to realize he was asking me if I wanted my suit to be dark, like the one he was holding. "H'ko." I shook my head. "Like Kal'ar."

Kyhamet chuffed. "Which one? There are many."

Though he thought me a simpleton, I had already known exactly which of Kal'ar's armored suits I wanted mine to mirror. And when he saw me enter the arena representing his colors, ready to beat Dalani down to a pulp, he would know that I was doing it for him alone.

* * *

After Kyhamet dismissed me with instructions that he would summon Gikvaris when he was finished making my suit, I skipped going back to my room and went to the common room where Ayida and the rest of the girls remained most nights. Breeding season had already begun and when I entered the common room I was not surprised to find that four girls already had swollen bellies and looked as if they had just fought a dreadful bout of nausea.

Ayida, who was one of the four, slid over on the sofa to allow me enough room to sit next to her. I reached out and took her hand, squeezing it lightly. I knew she did not feel well but she was a warrior. Perhaps only in motherhood, but a warrior nonetheless.

"Is it true that you will fight Dalani?" Ayida stretched her legs out in front of her and struggled to get herself into a more comfortable position.

"Yes. Will not be long."

"Cannot be soon enough." Ayida rolled her eyes and huffed. "My Yautja," she pat her belly to indicate she meant her currently gestating pup's Sire, "tells me that Kal'ar is displeased with Dalani."

I shrugged and then let out a weary sigh. "I hope so, Ayida, but just when I think I can be sure of something I get the rug pulled right out from underneath me."

Ayida laughed sympathetically. "We all know the feeling, but this is different. I hear if you win, Kal'ar is taking you to one of the preserves." She paused. "Just you and him."

I nodded.

"And that when the same was offered to Dalani, she requested that Kal'ar bring his best warriors for a hunt." Ayida scoffed. "If that doesn't say it all, what can?"

I shuddered at the thought of it. Dalani certainly had brass balls to go and counter the clan leader's offer. But worse than that was that her request made it clear that she had little interest in getting to know her potential mate. Hell, I couldn't argue that Dalani was staying true to her tomboy self, but perhaps she could have asked Kal'ar to hunt _with_ her instead of turning it into a third wheel situation...or four or five, or maybe a dozen wheel situation?

"She does not train, does not seek Kal'ar out, does not wish to learn his language. I can't for the life of me understand why the elders still think she is right for Kal'ar." I pulled my legs behind me and rested my head against the sofa.

"I think he has already made his decision. Is only waiting for all the elders to stand with his decision when he announces it."

"He can't possibly expect the elders to support every decision." I took a look at one of the carts layered with bowls of naxa and leafy greens, but I was too tired to get up and get some for myself.

"But he wants them to, will wait for them to, and always has. Kal'ar is an honorable clan leader. Does not bend to persuasion; does not cave under pressure; does not yield to outside threats. And because they believe in him, he will wait for them to see things his way."

I started to mentally work myself up to get something to eat, but I didn't want to miss out on what Ayida was telling me. She had oodles of knowledge.

"What do you suppose he wants them to see? And will they see it before I'm dead and in my grave? Or do they not bury people in space?"

Ayida laughed and leaned her head back, softly rubbing and admiring her belly. I likewise admired her and hoped that one day I would find the peace she had managed to find.

"You ask when the answers are right in front of you. I am very sure Dalani would love to be pair bond to a Yautja clan leader, but look at the way she admires other Yautja. I am very sure her pride would be more wounded at having lost to you than having lost Kal'ar. And I think she is already setting things in motion to ensure that if that does happen, she'll be selected by a Yautja with status and rank to make up for the loss."

"And you can see all of that while lounging in this room? Or in front of a Yautja...doggy style?" I laughed and nudged her playfully.

"Sei-i." Ayida flashed a sly, affirming smile, but then her expression returned to being wise and serious. "You cannot see because you only see what is between you and Kal'ar. You are only focused on what Dalani does with Kal'ar than what she does with others. But we..." she gestured to the girls scattered about the room who were not listening in, "...have nothing better to do than watch." She laughed and added: "Even when we are bent over or on our knees, we _still_ have nothing better to do than watch."

Ah, her candidness made being stuck in space with an alien species that much more tolerable.

"But Kal'ar will not make it easy for you. Will want a mate that strives to overcome trials. Would be just as easy for Kal'ar to choose a mate and simply breed. Just look at us. But I believe he desires a pair bond. A mate for life that will invest herself in him for the good of their pups and the clan. And he will not choose one that is not willing to prove that she considers it an honor instead of something merely to be dealt with."

Yeah. Curled up beside Ayida and listening to her basically assure me that I was doing everything right definitely cured any lingering anxiety. If anyone knew the intricate web of Yautja life, it was Ayida. Inquiring of V, I had learned that Ayida had been here longer than the rest of the girls. Seven years, in fact. And in those seven years she had birthed six pups after the first had been stillborn. Most of the original group of girls Ayida had arrived with were eventually given over (willingly) to other clans that needed capable, experienced bearers. Some, though I had yet to see them, remained with this clan as 'pets' - each living trophies to a Yautja they were both pleased with and who had sired one of their pups. These Yautja would take care of them until they took their last human breath, having giving most of it in service to the clan.

That was certainly honorable.

But Ayida was not ready to 'move into retirement' just yet. And though she currently had a Yautja mate (they changed with each breeding season) she had not yet found a mate she was willing to 'grow old with', as they say.

I finally worked up the momentum to get up off of the sofa and grabbed a few bowls of naxa and a pitcher of water. I plopped back down next to Ayida and set the bowls between us. She grunted in gratitude and took a handful to her mouth while I took the liberty of hydrating myself, something I often overlooked amidst perpetual chaos.

"When you kick Dalani's ass, I am sure Kal'ar will waste no time getting you knocked up. Not only does he have the libido of a young Yautja, but he also has no pups of his own. If he has any say in the matter - and we both know he does - he'll have you popping out four at a time." Ayida smiled wickedly. "And then there's that way he stares at you...Like he's already working out how to get your feet behind your head."

I blushed, but I had a more important question to ask before I got into what had happened between Kal'ar and I the other night. "Umm...how many pups would a Yautja want?"

Ayida shrugged. "Back when there were many female Yautja, I believe it was seventy or eighty."

"Ayida!" I leaned forward, my eyes locked on hers. "I can't have that many. My body...my va - "

Ayida laughed and waved dismissively. "Oh no, sweetie. Those females had wombs of steel. Us humans? We max out at around eight or ten. But usually, we are put out to pasture after five. At least they have an understanding that after so many, if our bodies do not fail us first, our sanity certainly will."

I fumbled with the questions I wanted to ask her, but I felt so foolish. Such a prude.

"Don't worry, Exia. You will be just fine. Every girl worries about how big the pup will be, how much it will hurt when coming out...It's just like giving birth to a human baby. No different. Just different looking."

I shook my head. Giving birth was not a bridge I had even considered crossing yet.

"What?" Her hand was poised at her mouth with another piece of naxa.

"Uh...I really don't know how to say this."

Ayida's expressed soured. "Look at me." Making sure I was, she continued. "I'm sitting in a glorified living room sailing through space with an alien baby growing inside of me. Do you really think there is anything you cannot ask or tell me?"

She had a perfectly good point. And so I just came out with it, hoping not to be met with a scathing hailstorm of judgment.

"I've never been with a man."

"You prefer girls?" Ayida's tone was so serious it almost made me laugh.

"No, Ayida. No. Just...no."

It took her a moment, but when she realized what I meant she instinctively took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I guess she had no words, because she just sat there in dreadful silence that made my own dread of the subject intensify.

After more awful silence I finally asked: "Do I even have a prayer?"

Ayida shook her head gravely. "You had better ask your translator to teach you some dirty Yautja expressions...Try to get him to go easy on you. But most of the time... they just can't."

"Can't understand?"

"Can't go easy." Her quick response quickly dissolved all remaining hope.

I hung my face in my hands.

"Try 'pauk-de' first." Ayida pulled my arm away to uncover my face. "Or rather, 'h'ko pauk-de."

"What does that mean?"

Ayida finally broke her solemn expression and smiled reassuringly. "Ask Kal'ar."

"But what does it _mean?"_

Ayida shrugged her shoulders. "I _think_ 'rough'. It's what my Yautja says to me before..." Ayida again offered a smile of reassurance, but I could tell she was trying to be cautious with how much she revealed now. "...before mating."

Yeah. She was definitely being modest.

I shrugged and decided, What the hell? Might as well give it a shot. I couldn't wait until he was all hot and bothered and less likely to regard my concerns. I'd rather catch him now since he made it clear that he preferred to wait. The least I could do (for myself) was try to give him a fair warning.

* * *

I learned that Kal'ar had been kept busy most of the night when an elder and a clan leader's successor-to-be from another clan arrived to discuss acquiring kainde amedha eggs for their own Un-blooded Yautja chivas. I also learned, to my horror, that the ship I presently called 'home' housed one of these kainde amedha queens in the lower level of said 'home' ship. And this was because Kal'ar's ship was large enough to house as many Yautja as it did along with a creature V claimed to be the size of a T-rex along with all of its eggs. And though I was thoroughly put off by the thought of one of these creatures breathing the very same air as me, I had never actually seen one. I'd have to ask Kal'ar to bring me down and show me if only to satisfy my morbidly growing curiosity.

I went to his room and waited by the door, hoping I could keep the courage to speak with him about my seemingly hopeless situation, but when an eta came with a set of neatly folded pelts and that coveted oil, he regarded me with mild alarm.

"Ooman sickly?"

There was that term again. _Ill, damn it! Ill, sick, not well!_

"H'ko," I said. It was terribly frustrating that he would not meet my eyes. That he must have been trained or threatened to not make eye contact with anyone above his status. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted him to know that he and I were more similar than he dared to believe.

"Door programmed for ooman." He gestured toward the panel on the right side of the door.

"You mean...I can go in whenever I want? Isn't that like an invasion of privacy or something? I mean, I'd really _love_ to know if he was getting it on with someone else, but then again I don't think I'd want him to know I know."

The eta's head tilted, obviously confused with the swell of inner garbage that had just leaked out of my head through my mouth.

"Press."

I lifted my hand to the panel and laid it against the smooth, black screen. A green scanner spiked up and the door's inner bolts hammered back with a hiss before the door slid open.

"Sei-i. Programmed for _this_ ooman," I said. I stepped in and the eta followed, but he kept a comfortable distance away from me.

I sat on the edge of the bed and watched the eta move about the room, delivering his bundle of pelts on a low sofa in the main room before tidying up in the washroom. When he was finished he stood at the door, facing me, but with his eyes lowered.

"Send for Kal'ar?"

"No. Well, yes, but just tell him that I'll wait for him."

The eta nodded before leaving. I hoped I would see him again. If anyone had the lowdown on this ship it was definitely him and the rest of the etas. The lower class always knew the most. How could they not? The very ones they served acted (and most likely believed) as if they didn't exist, so slips of the tongue were bound to happen and bound to be overheard by an eta. I would surely make this a priority of mine since they would likely have valuable information on Dalani. Information that may come in handy before and after I kicked her ass.

I moved from the bed to a small sofa in the sleeping quarters facing the window. He had a much nicer view than mine as my window was half obstructed by some part jutting out of the side of the ship, but his was free and clear of visual obstructions and for the first time, whether it was the view or just the current position of the ship's course, I could see stars. And even if they were small and distant, they were nevertheless _stars._

I don't know how long I was sitting with my eyes fixed on a blanket of black velvet sprinkled with pinpoints of light, but the door opened and when I turned my head it was Kal'ar. I stood up to greet him with a smile, actually _happy_ to see him, but he looked concerned.

 _God I hope that eta hadn't told him I was sickly._

"N'got?"

I nodded, still smiling. "Sei-i."

His shoulders relaxed and he pulled me toward him and against his chest. I laid my head against him and listened to his heart, the pulse of which began to remind me of the long day I had had and just how tired I really was.

"R'ka?" I asked. It was one of many terms used for the black serpents the Yautja enjoyed hunting, but sounded so much better than 'kainde amedha', which made me think of food, and _they_ were definitely not food.

"Sei-i. Chivas."

"Suon'var..." I didn't have a word for 'staying', so I just said it: "..staying?" I was rather hoping to meet him since he was going to be a clan leader in the future and would most likely have further dealings with Kal'ar. Thought I might make a good impression on him now before Dalani got in his ear and poised him against me.

Kal'ar lifted my chin. "Ex-ee-a getting better."

It was a nice reassurance that I was pleasing him by at least attempting his language. Even if sometimes the words rolling off of my tongue sounded very different than his.

"Kal'ar getting better?" I changed my mind. "Kal'ar getting better at ooman?"

He nodded. "Je'mar...Vyexxin."

Ah...so my mechanical best friend had been keeping busy. Very busy.

"Must ask you something." I pulled him over to the bed and sat down.

"Something?"

I guess the term didn't translate. "Question. Must ask Kal'ar question."

He sat down and waited patiently as I worked up the courage to ask him about the word Ayida had mentioned. It was much easier having the courage when sitting on the floor outside of his door, but now, looking into his eyes I felt like a tiny shrimp regarding a whale just moments before being swallowed up.

"Uh..." I laughed nervously. "Ooman Ayida..."

He nodded. Guess he was familiar with her.

I took his hand and placed it against my chest. "Exia...small."

"Sei-. Tiny ooman."

I would be sure to make Gikvaris pay for that little (no pun intended) nickname.

I put my other hand on his chest and said, "Kal'ar very large." At this he trilled. I had obviously stroked his pride. "Exia also...pure."

"Ex-ee-a win pure victory. Sei-i."

"No, no. Uh...pure. Untouched."

"Ex-ee-a h'ko aseigan."

Damn this was hard.

"No, not aseigan. Pure." Another blank stare. Okay, just get on with it. "H'ko pauk-de."

If a Yautja could blush, I imagine Kal'ar was bright red.

"Rough, right? Kainde? Hard? Pauk-de j'pi Exia?"

But then his chest began to tremble and his mandibles clattered furiously. "Pauk-de is not 'it'. Pauk-de is 'do'. Action."

"I think I understand, but I don't want to get this wrong. Because you're obviously laughing at me." At least he was laughing. At least.

"Pauk-de...Ooman word is...fuh-king?"

I clapped my hand over my mouth and now _I_ was the one turning bright red. After a few moments I started stuttering, fumbling to explain but finding my lack of words only adding to my complete inability to form a coherent sentence.

"Ex-ee-a...does not...wish to mate?" His question was most serious, but he was still trilling high in his throat.

"H'ko...I mean sei-i! Sei-i! God damn it!" Scrambling, I took his hand and placed it between my legs. "Exia pure. Not..." Then I remembered the word His'tgar used to describe what I needed to convey in relation to sexual experience. "Used!" I exclaimed. "Exia h'ko _used._ Kal'ar j'pi when...pauk-de Exia." Saying the term, even in his own language, just felt _wrong._

"Sei-i. N'got." He slipped his hand to the back of my neck and using the other, pushed against my chest until I was lying down on the bed. "Kal'ar - " but before I could finish he climbed over me and shifted his weight to the side. Hand still on my chest and body pivoted towards mine, he left no wiggle room for escape. Not that I even wanted to at this point.

He slipped his hand underneath my thigh and brought it up over his hip. He lowered his head and deftly dragged his mandibles along my chest and toward the cradle of my neck. Blood started to rush down between my thighs, pulling and constricting as he assailed me with gentle strokes of his tusks. His fingers trailed down my stomach toward my thighs and I couldn't help but draw in sudden gasps of air as my anticipation peaked. As his fingers came daringly close to the connection I desired, with it ushered in a swell of heightened sensations I had never felt before. His purposeful petting did things to my body I never knew my body was capable of. I had an idea, just never _knew_ how powerful _this_ could be. And _this_ wasn't even all the way.

When he finally brought his fingers between my legs and stroked my aching folds I gasped as a wave of foreign ecstasy surged through me and coiled in my chest. I involuntarily arched my back as if it would help bring back the air his touch had stolen from my lungs, but he pressed down gently against my abdomen to push me back against the bed, holding me steadily beneath him while continuing to tease me with an anticipation he was content to leave unfulfilled by anything other than his fingers for now.

And then he started purring and the vibration of it against my skin sent me into a torrent of moans. I reached down and took hold of his hair, pulling to get him on top of me, but he trilled and pushed my hand away. I moved my body against his hand to indicate what I wanted, but this time he gave me a low huff before reaching and grabbing a handful of my hair, pressing his fist down against the bed. He was obviously not going to let me have any say in what happened or when it happened. It drove me wild that I could not fill the ache, the utter need, with all of him.

 _God this is pure fucking torture._

"Kal'ar!" I groaned, grabbing the pelts beneath us and kneading my fists against the bed.

He stopped and brought his eyes to mine. Thinking he had hurt me he loosened his grip, but his momentary distraction allowed me to pull away from him and I sat up, pushing against his chest with my hand to get him to lie down. When I moved to climb on top of him he planted his hands on my hips and moved me back beneath him.

"Hko," he said.

"Kal'ar!"

"Ex-ee-a," he said mockingly. He trilled higher and lighter this time before lowering himself back down.

His mandibles flanked the crease of my legs and suddenly I felt a warmth enter me. I grabbed the thick tubes of his hair and squeezed and he let out a deep rumble, pushing his tongue further inside me. He started purring again, this time more low and rhythmic and the combination of the vibration against my sex and his darting tongue captured my breath deep within the center of my chest, causing my feathery moans to become a deep, guttural exasperation.

I literally thought I was going to die. With every twitch and flick of his tongue I moved against his mouth. He pushed further and more furiously and my hands slipped down to his shoulders to keep from tearing at my own hair or anything else that I could take out my frustrations on. I would not, however, thrash and flail against him because oh god, if he stopped...

As soon as Kal'ar brought his finger to meet his tongue my body tensed and began to quiver. My stomach caved and I tightened around his flickering tongue and thrusting finger, the swell of a building climax intensified by the friction between my sex and his quivering mouth. I dug my nails into his shoulders and tilted my head, my body unwilling fighting against the hand that held it down. My body writhed as if trying to escape the overwhelming tidal wave of ecstasy that sent my body into uncontrollable spasms, but I didn't want to tear away from him. And as if Kal'ar knew my body better than it knew itself, he held me firmly and rode out my thrusting, swaying hips.

When the swell dissipated my body collapsed against the bed. Kal'ar licked the crease a final time before sliding next to me and watching as I struggled to get my breathing back under control.

"N'got?"

I laughed breathlessly and nodded. _"Sei-i."_

But when he laid back I realized that my body still wasn't finished. I wanted him again, but this time I wanted more than his tongue. And I didn't want him to be gentle.

I slipped my leg over him and moved to unhook his loincloth, but he caught my hand. Amused by my sexual awakening, he trilled, but firmly told me 'h'ko'.

"Why?" I was terribly frustrated and determined to change his mind.

"Ex-ee-a...not...ready. Will hurt. Must go slow."

I reached down and touched his face. I really was at a loss for words. And I was never at a loss for words. So all of this had been to show me that he would not brutalize me in a rage of sexual desire; that he had heeded my concern and would do whatever was necessary, even at the expense of his own pleasure, to keep from hurting me.

"Better this way. Will teach."

A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about all the delicious ways he could use that tongue of his on me. And then I imagined that I couldn't leave him hanging forever...So I'd have to think of ways to use my tongue on him, as well.


	9. Chapter 9 - Exploit

**_Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. Life is well...life. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for hanging in there with me. Bear with another filler which is my opportunity to plant more seeds._**

 ** _I do not have any rights to the AVP universe and make no profit writing this story. I only own my characters._**

* * *

I was scared to death when V brought me to the clinic for what he said would be an examination and a 'routine modification'. Even more scared when I saw Kal'ar already waiting for me in the clinic. I sat on the edge of a cold metal table and V stood beside me while the healer, Vik'var'is, fussed on the other side of the room with whatever was the reason behind my being in the clinic. I was relieved that Kal'ar was at least present, but I was not very fond of Vik'var'is. I had only seen him one time before this and he did not regard me as one does not regard the air they breathe.

Vik'var'is, whose back was still turned to us while tinkering with a hand-held control panel, from time to time glanced back at me as if checking on my condition. I just wanted someone to say something. Give me a reason for being here. But I got nothing.

When the healer finally approached the table, I tensed at the sight of the needle he was holding. This was no ordinary needle, but one with a thick shaft and a bevel more elongated than any I had ever seen in a hospital. And there was a strange capsule with red and copper coils inside of the tube of the syringe. Vik'var'is circled behind me and lowered my head. I instinctively reacted and ducked to the side, elbowing him in the ribs. Vik'var'is growled and grabbed the back of my neck hard this time. I attempted to pry his fingers off of me which earned me a violent shake before Kal'ar intervened.

"H'ko," he said to both of us. Then to me, "Must be still."

"You can't expect me to let him do this, can you?!" I turned to V. "V! Tell him! Tell him I'm not sick! I don't -"

"H'ko," he said more sternly. "Required. For d'tai'k-de."

"What the hell is that little capsule going to do for me in a fight?" I was doubtful, no matter how intricate Yautja technology was, that this device would give me any advantage over Dalani.

"Not weapon," he said plainly. "Gkinmara – sensor."

My bewilderment visible, V added to Kal'ar's explanation: "Yautja implant tracking device on base of th'syra - skull - which also transmits codes as to body temperature, heart and circulatory activity, brain waves, indicators of stress or pain, or drop in endorphins."

I clapped my hands over the back of my neck to prevent Vik'var'is from inserting his device into it. "Is this necessary for my fight? Do all Yautja have one?"

"H'ko. Only oomans." Kal'ar stepped forward and began to purr.

"Did I do something wrong?"

 _Give me back my damn chains! Anything but_ this.

V stepped closer and placed his hand over mine which was resting on the table, clammy and quivering.

"This will allow Kal'ar to monitor your vital signs during your match with Dalani. If you are wounded it will show him if your body is shutting down. This is not a fight to the death, Exia. Neither of you will be permitted to use deadly weapons or deliver a mortal blow, but if that mistakenly occurs, such as trauma to your head, Kal'ar will be able to intervene before it is too late."

I looked at V and then at Vik'var'is. As nice of a gesture as that sounded, it didn't stop me from scooting off of the table and making a pass for the clinic door. Vik'var'is moved to block the door, but Kal'ar quickly caught me before I got that far, wrapping his arms around my torso; suspending me above the floor.

"H'ko!" he barked. When my body had stilled against his, he lifted me back onto the table but kept his hand pressed against my thigh, pinning me to the table. "For trial." Still keeping me pinned, he brought his free hand and gently touched the back of my neck. "Kal'ar must...be sure Ex-ee-a safe."

It was hard staying so angry when he put it that way, but I still couldn't get the image of that needle being thrust into my skin and pushed to the base of my skull out of my head. I knew it was going to hurt. Probably even more than anything Gikvaris had done to me in training.

"Isn't there another way?" I couldn't hide my despair. Yautja did not express pain. Maybe they didn't even feel it. But I sure as hell was no Yautja. I cringed at the sight of neonatal needles that even premature babies didn't seem to notice being inserted into them all hours of the day.

"H'ko."

I lowered my head in defeat. There was no arguing with a Yautja. Especially if he was clan leader.

As Vik'var'is positioned himself behind me again, Kal'ar stood in front of me and held my head lowered against his chest. He began to purr intensely, surely seeing how close the needle was to my skin and aware that the moment it penetrated my skin I would go into a paralyzed panic.

And he had been right to purr. Loudly. When Vik'var'is slid the needle into my neck I was overwhelmed by the urge to vomit before I actually felt the intense burn. As the needle slid further up toward the base of my skull it sent a searing, pulsating pain throughout my head and neck. Kal'ar and V supported my body as I began to involuntarily mewl before going limp.

I think I heard V speaking, but the voices and noises around me were telescopic. My vision blurred from the unbearable headache that swelled against the cap of my skull. When my head began to ring I was sure that my brain was bleeding. I clapped my hands over my ears, expecting to feel a slow leak of blood any moment.

Kal'ar slid one arm beneath my knees and the other around my shoulders, lifting me gently to set me down on my side on the table. Vik'var'is approached with another needle, this time smaller, and injected a blue liquid into my arm. It coursed through my veins and took the edge off of the pain in my neck that flared out from the injection site and had sent my body into uncontrollable spasms. I couldn't help but wonder if something had gone terribly wrong. Why was this happening? It was only a tiny capsule...Much worse had been successfully inserted into the human body without so much as a muscle tremor. Yet here I was, feeling like I was dying from the inside out as darkness closed in around me.

* * *

When I opened my eyes I shrieked before realizing I was no longer in the clinic. Sitting up in Kal'ar's bed, jolted from a vivid nightmare that faded more with each passing second, I was suddenly terrified that I was alone. Feeling the cool pelts beside me only confirmed my solitude, but turned my fear into dejection at having been left alone after having been subjected to such a vicious procedure.

Just as I slipped my leg off of the bed and steadied my foot against the smooth, polished floor, the door opened and Kal'ar entered. I was angry at him for having left me, but in the same breath I was relieved that he was here now that I was awake. Torn between voicing my unhappiness and begging for him to hold me, I was glad I did not have to make a decision.

He sat on the edge of the bed and curled his arm around me, bringing my body close against his while petting my hair and purring softly. An overwhelming sense of grief welled inside of me and before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably. But the more I sobbed the angrier I became. The more angry I became, the more I wanted to rebuff him for having done this to me - and then for leaving me to suffer alone. My chest was heaving as my body contemplated yielding to my rage or collapsing into the folds of misery.

 _"What's happening to me?!"_ I wiped away thick, warm tears that streaked my face but they continued trickling down.

Kal'ar pressed me tightly against him, purring more deeply now.

"Kal'ar, _please..."_

But his silence, which I perceived as indifference, kindled the rage I had been battling to restrain. I bawled my fists, but was loathe to bring them against him. I wanted to hurt him, but I couldn't. He deserved to feel the same as I had felt on that cold metal table, subjected to an unbearable pain that pierced and penetrated every nerve in my upper body. But he was here with me now, purring and stroking my hair, and all thoughts of avenging my suffering disappeared.

"Ex-ee-a body must...adjust. Gkinmara emits...active frequency. Close to brain. Stimulate and interfere with amygdala. Will adjust."

"I can't stop shaking." I put my hand against his arm so that he could feel my trembling, but I realized he must have already known this. He was practically restraining my body with his.

"I have to..." I started looking about the room wildly, feeling as if the walls were closing in on me. "I have to - don't know what I'm trying to say, but I - "

"Must rest." Kal'ar gently pushed me down against the bed. "Will pass."

"I need something to stop this!" I held up my hands, feeling like I had been poisoned. A wave of nausea washed over me again and I turned away from him to hide my face while dry heaving.

"Clinic," he said before tugging on me.

I put my hand up and shook my head, gasping in between heaving. "Ayida...Please. I want Ayida."

I laid my head back down and closed my eyes, trying to focus my breathing until the nausea passed. The bed lifted and I knew Kal'ar had left, but I didn't call out after him. I was rather hoping he would return with a jar of c'nlip to pacify my muscle tremors and soothe my throat as my empty stomach retched violently. I was terribly bitter that I had been stirred from my nightmare now. This was far worse than that.

I dozed off an on, awoken intermittently whenever my stomach turned and my mouth opened to let out whatever toxins were inside of me. Nothing came out, which only infuriated me more. When the door opened I turned my head and watched as Ayida swiftly crossed the room and came to my side. She laid down beside me, gathering me up in her arms and resting my head on her chest. Her skin was warm and soft and I felt like a baby in her arms.

She rocked me gently and with each exhale let out a soothing "shhh", smoothing my hair away from my face and tenderly stroking the side of my face. Kal'ar and another Yautja were standing outside of the sleeping quarters, watching us without any indication as to how they felt. I suspected that Ayida belonged to the other Yautja in the room and that her presence in another male's room was not customary or perhaps even permitted. I wondered how long he would stand at the edge of the room, watching over the bearer of his pup and the tiny, writhing human in her arms.

"Will he let you stay?" I whispered, my eyes pleading with hers. I didn't want her to leave me. As much as I wanted Kal'ar, I wanted the touch of a human much more.

"You must come with me to the common room."

"I can't move."

 _Please don't make me._

Kal'ar approached and lifted me out of Ayida's arms. I curled up against his chest and clenched my teeth, his movements, no matter how smooth, stirring that familiar queasiness. Ayida and her Yautja followed as Kal'ar brought me to the common room and set me down on the sofa. Ayida sat at the end and I put my head on her lap. Kal'ar and Ayida's Yautja spoke briefly before Ayida's soft humming and gentle petting lulled me to sleep.

* * *

Ayida gently nudged me awake and I opened my eyes. My body was relaxed, no longer bracing against the violent constriction of my throat. I sat up and Ayida smiled, though she looked terribly weary.

"How long have I been asleep?" I sat up and stretched out my legs. It was cool in the room, but it felt wonderful after feeling like I was going to sweat to death in my sleep.

"Two days," Ayida said. "Your fever broke a few hours ago."

"Where is Kal'ar?" Him and Ayida's Yautja were no longer in the room.

"He knows." Ayida extended her arm and pointed to her forearm. "Will always know now."

"Ayida...You look terrible..."

Ayida smiled ruefully. "Is nothing." She patted her belly. "He is a strong pup. Keeps me awake. Is better that I had someone else to keep me distracted from another restless sleep."

I went to the cart and grabbed us water and naxa. There was other food, but this was Ayida's favorite. She had taken care of me and now it was time to return the favor.

"No, Exia. Shunlau will see that I am fed and well rested now. You must go. Gikvaris is waiting for you." Ayida laughed. "Is angry you have been so lazy."

Thinking of Gikvaris pensively waiting for me to wake up was humorous, but I knew why he had been waiting. Kyhemeda had finished my suit and now it was time to adjust my body to it while sparring. And I had slept long enough. It was time to get back on my feet and get back to business.

I kissed Ayida on the cheek before rushing out of the room and toward the kehrite. When I opened the door Gikvaris acknowledged my presence but continued his sparring with a Young-blood. It didn't take much longer for Gikvaris to deliver the final blow to his opponent that ended the match, but that Young-blood had sure lasted longer than I could ever hope to last. The Young-blood, winded, nodded his head in respect before moving off of the mat.

"I'm gone for two days and already you have another student?" I put my hand on my hip, but I couldn't hide my smile.

"Have many students," he said, putting away his combistick. "You are not student. You are pain in the...ass."

"I missed you, too."

Gikvaris rumbled before craning his neck and nodding toward the door. "Kyhemeda has sent for us. You have kept him waiting long enough."

"Me? But I - "

He moved passed me and walked out of the kehrite. I was hot on his heels, though I said nothing in my own defense as to my being asleep for two days. I was sure he knew and was only teasing me again. Teasing me in that awful one-way manner as he knew I wouldn't do much more than shoot him an angry glare before shrugging off his grumpiness and returning to my relentless pestering. He couldn't hurt me, so I guess this was his way - the only way - of getting back at me.

Once in Kyhemeda's dimly lit room I stepped up onto the center platform and began untying my covering. Kyhemeda's low trilling surprised me as I had never seen or heard him in any other mood than mildly irritated. And when I say mild, I mean that most anyone on Earth would take a raging grizzly bear over a mildly irritated Yautja.

He disappeared into one of the back rooms and returned holding my suit across his arms. I held out my arms before he could growl in irritation and waited for Kyhemeda to unzip the front and slide it onto my arms.

Gikvaris trilled. "Perhaps we should put gkinmara in all oomans. Make them less stubborn."

I rolled my eyes at him and laughed. "Gikmaris...Do I not keep you on your toes?"

"Sei-i. Because you are never on yours."

I soured.

Gikvaris and Kyhemeda trilled at my expense, but I continued nonetheless to step into the suit and adjust it on my shoulders. When I turned around Gikvaris studied me with his yellow, narrowed eyes. I braced myself for another one of his caustic comments, but none came. Only a nod.

"N'got," Kyhemeda said. "Sei-i."

"Enough crooning over yourself," Gikvaris snapped. "Time to spar."

I looked at Kyhemeda and lowered my head, bringing my fist to my chest.

"Thank you," I said. "Thank you for this."

Kyhemeda clicked his mandibles and looked at Gikvaris. "Ooman has more honor than most Un-blooded."

"For giving Kyhemeda praise?"

"Gratitude instead of entitlement." Kyhemeda nodded before dismissing us both. I took off my bodysuit, not wishing for anyone other than its maker and my instructor to see it until I was ready to meet Dalani in the arena.

I couldn't help but wear a proud smile as Gikvaris lead us back to the kehrite. His mandibles were slightly flared in irritation, but I hoped it was because he failed to see what Kyhemeda had recognized first. And I was hoping it would be an eye-opening experience for him. That one day he would see another hopeless human whose only weakness was not their physical stature but their own self-doubt.

Gikvaris locked the kehrite behind us and instructed me to put on my suit again. With his back turned to me, I undressed and slipped back into the thick, skin-conforming material, lifting my arms to feel and watch how it would bend at the elbows and wrist. Kyhemeda certainly was a master with his hands, turning the d'lex infused threads into a body shaped shield that would not restrict my movement.

"Will please Kal'ar," Gikvaris said.

I turned and joined Gikvaris on the mat. "I'd rather it just scare the hell out of Dalani."

"Will take more than well-built armor to do that."

He tossed me one of the tiny blades we had been practicing with and took position. As comfortable as I was with using a combistick, its length restricted my movement. Having to use both hands to hold it, if Dalani was able to knock it away from me I would be defenseless against the next blow she delivered. So choosing a weapon that would probably have the elders trilling at my impending defeat, I planned on using the hand holding the blade offensively and the other to balance myself against what I expected would be an onslaught of advances. I had to be steady on my feet if I wanted to keep from stumbling backwards and having her bring down her weapon against my skull.

"Is she good?" I asked. I had never pressed V, Gikvaris, or Kal'ar on Dalani's skill in combat, but as our match drew closer, I wanted to know. Needed to know.

"Sei-i."

I sighed. I was rather hoping he would have lied to me instead.

"For an untrained ooman. No match for Gikvaris' student."

Ah, so he did consider me his student. But still probably a royal pain in the ass, too.

I let out another proud smile before Gikvaris advanced. We danced in a circle, Gikvaris taking a swipe while I stepped back out of reach before lunging at him. I nicked his forearm and he rumbled.

 _Shit._

Fluorescent green blood dripped down onto the mat and he used my distracted horror against me, latching onto my arm and pulling me toward him, into his knife. Though I could feel the blade pressing against my abdomen, the blade didn't pierce my suit. I gasped in excitement and tore away from him, feeling more confident than ever that I could give Gikvaris a run for his money.

We remained in a constant state of lunging and ducking for over five minutes before Gikvaris knocked me off my feet and knelt over me with his knife poised at my throat. But he was not his usual mocking self, trilling and shaking his enormous head as his hair spilled over his shoulders. He pulled me up on my feet and observed me for a great while, seemingly admiring my progress. I was just as surprised as he was.

"Kal'ar will be most displeased, tiny ooman."

"With what?" I looked down at myself as if he meant something on my body, but everything was just as it should be.

"Must honor our agreement."

I looked at him blankly.

"Three minutes." He bristled. "That was our agreement."

When it hit me I let out a triumphant gasp and started jumping up and down. He was anything but amused, but a deal was a deal.

"Kal'ar will not be pleased," he reminded me.

It was a sobering reminder, indeed.

"Will have to warm him up to the idea."

And I had exactly the idea in mind to do the trick.

* * *

I went to the closed doors of the chamber Kal'ar presently discussed clan matters among his council of elders. I was permitted to enter after they finished discussing one of many matters, warned by V to make my own business with him short and to the point. Apparently these things took all day because these gatherings only took place once every cycle - the equivalent of a month. I could understand that. If I was the boss, I wouldn't want to be pestered every day. Just schedule one day to hear all of the complaints and grumblings of my employees (or in this case, the clan) so I didn't feel compelled to drink after work every night.

But when he saw me he did not bristle or emit a low rumble from his throat. He left his high seat, the elders parting for him to pass, and came to me before I had even taken five steps into the room. He placed one hand on my hip and with another lifted my chin to see me better.

"Ex-ee-a is well."

"Sei-i. Very well." I brought my hand to his beneath my chin and squeezed softly. "Must speak with you later."

"Speak now."

I tilted my head and looked past his arm, meeting the gaze of the elders who were watching us. When I turned my gaze back to Kal'ar he clicked his mandibles.

"Do not...regard."

I smiled meekly and moved closer to him, afraid if the elders heard me they would hate me even more.

"Gikvaris...wants to bring me," I put my hand on my chest, "Exia... to preserve."

Kal'ar said nothing, but I felt his hand tense slightly on my hip.

"To train."

"H'ko." He moved his hand from beneath my chin and stepped back.

"Kal'ar, I - "

"H'ko. Preserve...dangerous for oomans." His shoulders became taut and I felt that at any moment he might begin to bristle before totally embarrassing me in front of all of the elders. "Ex-ee-a stay with Kal'ar."

"I do not want to leave Kal'ar." It felt strange always referring to myself and him in the third person, but V had warned me that 'I', 'you', and 'me', was a bit of a hang-up for a Yautja. "Kal'ar come to preserve with Exia."

Kal'ar chuffed and turned toward the elders, but I reached out and caught his hand. Surprisingly he did not drag me with him, but pivoted to regard me.

"Want Kal'ar to hunt d'yeka." I inched closer to him and ran my fingers along his arm.

"D'yeka?" Kal'ar trilled.

"Sei-i. Ultimate prey."

Kal'ar ran his fingers through my hair before stepping back. "Kal'ar hunt d'yeka...already. H'ko d'yeka on preserve." He placed his hand on my chest, teasingly close to my breast. "D'yeka already on ship."

My cheeks filled with color even though we were well past the blush of modesty.

"Will hunt d'yeka tonight?"

Kal'ar nodded.

I felt that familiar ache again and suddenly I wasn't so interested in convincing Kal'ar to allow Gikvaris to take me to the preserve.

"Will have to find d'yeka first." I put my hand on his shoulder and then shoved him.

Yep. I just openly challenged him. I said I was never going to do it again, but this time was different. This time I wanted him to hurt me in the worst kind of way.

Instead of bristling he slid his hand behind my neck and brought me close to him, lowering his head and running his lower right tusk along my shoulder.

"Sei-i. N'got."

I shuddered, riveted by the sensation caused by an appendage that had surely done more than sweep tenderly close to a human's craned neck. But rather than fall blindly into the folds of lust, I looked back at the elders again. They were still observing us, though not with the same disdain they normally studied me with. As tempting as it was to allow him to do whatever he pleased with me, I could not continue with an audience.

"Will have to find me first," I repeated. I brought my mouth against his and traced his mouth with my tongue. He began to purr, which is the exact moment I pulled away and stepped back toward the door.

"Sei. Gkei'moun."

"No tracking," I said plainly, waving my finger at him. "Kal'ar must hunt fair."

He nodded in agreement, but added: "For ooman...hunt is never fair." He trilled then returned to the elders.

 _Smart ass._

Sense of humor or not, I'd show him.

And so I had V wait around until the clan's meeting was over and as soon as V came to my room I took off running, knowing Kal'ar didn't forget much, if anything. I headed down into the lower level of the ship, skirting around passing Yautja as I drove deeper into the heart of the ship, the parts Gikvaris refused to take me to. And when I passed the halls that lead to Kyhemeda's quarters, I realized why.

I had stumbled upon the realm of the eta. I knew they dwelled in the lower levels, but now I knew why V had warned me never to go alone. This was their territory and I, a human, had no business skulking around their domain. Down here they didn't lower their eyes or keep a respectful distance away from me. It was only on the levels above that they had to worry about being punished for improper etiquette. And those who were displaying outright aggression in response to my presence were doing so because they could do that down here. But I wasn't afraid of these maimed, disfigured, and lame Yautja. I didn't blame them for choosing dishonor over death. What a terrible waste of skill to blow yourself up after a failed hunt. And yeah, maybe there were a few rotten apples like His'tgar down here, but I actually felt sorry looking at them limp and labor around me. Just didn't seem right.

As I stepped back to leave, my body hit against something hard. I spun around and stared wide-eyed at a Yautja wearing a long purple cape fastened over his shoulders at his throat with a bronze clasp. I recoiled, but didn't run.

"Ooman belongs up." He lifted his head. "With other oomans."

I knew him. I had seen him before, but I struggled to place his face or name. And then it hit me when I remembered seeing him at the feast of the Young-bloods. He was Kal'ar's brother, Kch'lo.

"Kch'lo, sei-i?"

He trilled. "Ooman knows Kch'lo. Kch'lo does not know ooman."

I was mindful of his tone, cautious not to allow my mouth to get the best of me and overstep some unspoken boundary. He was the brother of my future mate and there was no way I felt like avoiding him for the rest of my short life. And he clearly knew me, but took the time to deliver a vague insult.

"Does ooman's master know you are here with other Yautja?" He trilled, but not in the usual display of one's amusement. This trill, in combination with his narrowed eyes, was imbued with mockery.

I decided it would be safer to end our brief exchange and walked around him, but his low growl stopped me in my tracks. I turned and he pointed his finger at me and then at the floor, to the space directly in front of him. My pride urged my feet to keep moving forward, but I reminded myself that Kch'lo was a permanent fixture and not one I wanted to make an outright enemy of.

So I turned and brought my feet to the place his finger was still pointed at. It made me feel like such a child.

"Why is ooman below ship?" He eyed me carefully.

"Playing a game." I paused. No way I was going to explain me and his brother's sexual game of catch-me-if-you-can. Quick to change the direction of our conversation, I quickly asked: "Why are you below ship instead of at the meeting of elders? Aren't you an elder?"

"H'ko. Arbitrator."

"Ah...Well, whatever that means, I'm sure it's just as important."

He trilled. "Hunt Bad-bloods."

I'd never seen a Bad-blood. V told me they were banished from the clan and forced to wander other worlds, but sometimes their crimes warranted their execution. He said no more of them, but I was just glad there was someone assigned to hunt them. Better that they were dead than making their way toward Earth to continue committing crimes that even their Yautja brothers considered too heinous to overlook.

"Dishonorable Yautja. Do not live by code."

I nodded. "You need an ooman arbitrator. Hunt bad oomans that do not live by code." Just thinking of The Bitch soured my expression.

Kch'lo let out a light trill, this time void of any sarcasm. "Sei-i. But you do not mean on ooman world. You mean on ship."

"Yes. Yes I do."

Kch'lo's face was the same as the elders, covered in the spiny tendrils of age. His eyes, unlike Kal'ar's, were pale green with specks of brown. His skin, or as V called it, 'hide', was light green and mottled with hues of tan and deep red. His tusks, gleaming and pointed, were a few inches longer than his brother's and curved inward.

"Have been watching both of you closely. Kal'ar may do what he pleases with any ooman he pleases, but the ooman who bears our clan's future leader must be honorable. Must live by code, even if it is not our own."

"And have you decided which ooman lives by code?" I braced myself for the worst.

"Sei-i."

I waited for him to continue, but he said nothing more.

"All the same, Kal'ar is pretty lucky to have a big brother scouring the universe for dishonorable Yautja." I thought of my own brother, wondering what he looked like and if he knew I even existed. I wondered if my father had ever told his new wife and son about me, though I doubt he had the courage to admit his affair let alone the fruit of his devious dealings. It was a momentary distraction before I remembered my reason for being down here in the first place. "Have a game to get back to."

He nodded and stepped back, allowing me to pass.

I smiled before meekly slipping past him and scampering away. Wandering aimlessly with no sign of Kal'ar, I eventually found myself at a pair of large doors made of steel and glass. It was dark inside, but I thougt it might be a good place to hide and wait for Kal'ar. I opened the doors and slipped inside, the floor beneath me lighting up before the overhead lights clapped on.

A large, black creature with an oblong, spiked head dangled above the floor in chains; its arms, legs, neck, torso, and back tangled in a web of heavy shackles. I gasped but immediately covered my mouth with my hand as if it would hear me and wake from its sleep. A gentle, rasp hissing escaped its mouth, but it did not move or seem to notice my presence. I stepped closer, wondering if this was the kainde amedha queen V mentioned being locked away in the bowels of the ship. If this was one of the creatures Kal'ar battled while 'cleansing' a hive, I was sure as hell _never_ going to ask to accompany him on that road trip. I wanted to see him fight. I really did. But not bad enough to go where this thing, currently suspended from the ceiling, had the run of the mill.

Staring at this hideous creature, I was suddenly thankful I had been kidnapped by Yautja.

I stepped forward to get a closer look but I bumped into something and stumbled backwards. I strained my eyes to see if I had run into a pane of glass, but as I reached my hand out to feel for it a massive form began to appear before me, its outline beginning above me and slowly trickling down, adding depth and color until I realized that it was Kal'ar in full armor.

After staring at him in a state of shock, I began to laugh nervously, amazed at his ability to cloak himself and blend seamlessly into his environment. It was also obvious that he had been watching me for longer than I cared to admit and I had been none the wiser to his presence. I don't know which revelation was more frightening.

Without a word he lunged and grabbed me, picking me up and hoisting me over his shoulder. Leaving the room, I laughed hysterically, feigning my protest but inwardly thrilled that Kal'ar had found me and was now toting me through the halls as his captive.

Bringing me back to his quarters, he moved away from the bed and approached a door that I had never seen open before. He pressed his hand against the panel and it opened. The lights, though dim, flickered on as we entered but it was enough light that I could see the walls and what lined them in neat rows. Their polished bones enlivened by the pale blue light, hundreds of skulls watched us with the hollow, black eyes. Spines, pinned vertically in place on the wall, bore the skulls of creatures I could not recognize, but there were few among them distinctly familiar. I could have been horrified seeing my own kind displayed in his trophy room, but he set me down on the floor and my eyes were no longer fixed on the remains of my kind, but on his, somewhere behind the chilling black visor of his bio-mask.

Kal'ar removed his bio-mask and held it at his side. "D'yeka," he said with a low trill. "Kal'ar now..has...d'yeka."

I looked at the skulls that were shaped like the creature below the ship, wondering why, even though perhaps teasingly, he would consider me the ultimate prey. Dozens of different species lined his wall, each of them more formidable than a tiny human. I stepped closer to him and slid my fingers over his smooth, cool armor before carefully beginning to unhook each piece. He watched me carefully, allowing me to unshield him, his eyes studying the gentle rising and falling of my chest.

I was in awe of him. Yes he was a Yautja _and_ a clan leader, but getting a glimpse of a warrior instead of an ever diplomatic leader was breathtaking. I had always felt safe around him, naturally because he was bigger than me and because it was clear that I belonged to him (look what he did to His'tgar just for slapping me), but now I truly felt safe with him. Seven kainde amedha skulls surrounded us and I knew that if he could triumph over them, he could certainly triumph over any threat that came my way.

After removing his chest plate I brought my hands to his abdomen shield, but he caught my wrists and lowered me back onto the floor. I winced as my shoulders and legs met the cold metal floor, but he ran his warm hands alongside my arms before moving to my thighs, sliding beneath them and lifting them, hooking them around his hips as he knelt before me. The cold against my back quickly faded as that burning ache began to build within my lower body, pulling and straining as if trying to lure Kal'ar closer.

I lifted my shoulders off of the floor and slid my fingers behind the metal abdomen plate, expecting him to swat my hand away. But he didn't, and so I pressed further, reaching until my fingers slid around his warm, thick member that was pulsating in response to my touch. I ran my fingers along his shaft before sitting up, moving my mouth toward him. But he put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me back, unhooking his abdomen shield before lowering his body, his chest hovering over mine.

He moved between my legs and brought his member against me. I arched my back for him to enter, but he didn't. He trilled and used his legs to move up and down rhythmically between my legs, caressing me but never entering. I moaned in response to the sensation, moving slowly against him until the friction between us became fluidic. Horrified that my body was dripping in sexual excitement, I stopped, but he lifted my chin and trilled, withdrawing until his face was positioned between my legs.

Using his tongue, he licked the folds before working down to my inner thighs. I was truly horrified that my body was making such a mess of things, but when he began to purr I realized that he thoroughly enjoyed lapping up every drop of pleasure my body emitted; pleased by every drop his touch elicited. It was clear that my uncertainty and inexperience would matter little to Kal'ar and not restrict him from engaging in a such a primordial act without inhibition. He was not a human with rigid expectations of the female body; he was unaffected by the societal perceptions that plagued the human race. It made a hell of a lot of sense when I recalled how little he cared for my unkempt hair or that I hadn't showered for days after arriving. If I was going to give myself away to anyone, it was going to be Kal'ar. With him I didn't have to care or feel ashamed with how my body responded. He took pleasure in any response his hands or tongue or ridiculously large member brought forth.

When he was finished using his tongue he positioned his waist between my legs and began again, cupping my face with his hand to keep me from turning my head to the side so that I could do nothing but look into his eyes.

"Kal'ar, please..." Crooning, again I arched my back. I wanted him so bad I was tempted to throw him to the floor and take it myself.

"H'ko," he whispered.

The more he slid back and forth against me the tighter my chest began to knot. I grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth toward mine, forcing my tongue into his mouth as I climaxed. Body now still, he pushed off of me and laid beside me, thoroughly pleased by his accomplishment.

But I wasn't finished with him.

I shoved him onto his back and crept to the space between his legs. I took him into my hands and began rubbing up and down before lowering my mouth. His body stiffened, unsure of my intention, but I continued anyway, parting my lips and wrapping my mouth around the tip of him, using my tongue against the smooth skin as teasingly as he had used his own against mine.

His size made it impossible for me to take him fully into my mouth, so bringing my lips to the edge of his member and wrapping my fingers around the base and shaft, I worked my hands up and down, slow and calculated, before increasing the pace, thoroughly pleased when he began to tense and gently quiver. His breathing went from soft and barely audible to spurts of breathlessness and so I slid forward and climbed on top of him. I settled down against him, leaning my hands on his chest, and slid back and forth, tempted to inch forward and then thrust myself against him, but I knew when the time was right, he would make all the torturous waiting worthwhile. This would have to suffice for now.

Kal'ar's breathing halted and he arched his lower body against me. I felt a swell of warmth between my legs and realized that I had brought him to climax. I lowered my mouth and licked his inner mouth, gently tugging at his hair as he continued to quiver beneath me. When his body relaxed I stood up over him and brought my fist against my chest.

"Kal'ar is Exia's d'yeka."

He glared at me furiously, but much in the way Gikvaris stared when I teased him.

"Come with me." I extended my hand.

He chuffed and got up without my help. He grabbed me and brought my face close to his, his narrowed eyes boring into mine.

"Ex-ee-a belong to Kal'ar."

I smiled and leaned in, running my tongue against his mouth.

"Out there...Exia will be anything you want." I looked around the room. "In here, Kal'ar is Exia's d'yeka."

He trilled before purring, obviously not opposed to the idea of sharing dominance even if only in a sexual context.

I pulled at him, wanting him to come with me. Without question he followed me out of the room and stepped into a loincloth. I adjusted my covering before leading him out of the room and down toward the hall. I opened the doors and beamed when I saw the long table occupied by a horde of Yautja _and_ the one I was hoping to see most.

Kal'ar wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed me against him, moving us forward whether I wanted to go or not. As we walked past the table the Yautja bristled, which I learned later was in response to his scent on me. Yep. No quick bath before coming to the dinner table. He was all over me.

When we came to the middle of the table I put my foot down and stopped Kal'ar, turning to meet Dalani's hot glare from across the table. My eyes never leaving hers, I reached down and touched Kal'ar's loincloth before pivoting my head, standing on my tippy toes, and bringing my mouth to his.

Dalani shot up out of her chair and Kal'ar broke our embrace and emitted a low rumble. It was a warning for Dalani to tread carefully.

Dalani's displeasure had caught Kal'ar's attetion, but a low trilling had caught mine. I turned and saw Kch'lo regarding me with amusement. He motioned for me to sit near him. Kal'ar, now looking past Dalani, moved to the head of the table. When he sat down I slinked a few places down from him near Kch'lo. Once the din of conversation resumed, Kch'lo summoned an eta to fill his glass and provide me with one also.

"I see your game has been fruitful." He inhaled before chuffing. "Your flaunting of it, however...very unlike the weak ooman the elders speak of."

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. "Maybe elders need glasses."

Kch'lo clicked furiously and we each took a sip of that wonderful c'nlip swirling in our cups like black rubies.

"Elders do not wish to see you as Kal'ar's mate. Are very hopeful that your match against Dalani will prove their assumptions of you both."

 _Like I don't already know._

"I don't imagine losing to her," I said honestly, "but then again...I never imagined waking up in the woods hunting a hideous creature that turned out to be a shivering, pregnant woman. So I guess fate is never certain, no matter how much you expect it to meet your expectations."

Kch'lo nodded. "And if you lose? Will you choose death over dishonor?"

I looked at him wildly. But he had asked a question I had never considered before. It was the code they lived by. The reason why valient warriors now filled our cups and served our meals. But as horrifying as it was to think this might be expected of me, I knew I wanted to live.

"H'ko. What is the dishonor?"

"Losing," he said, nodding toward The Bitch.

"To her?" I laughed lightly, but looked at him seriously. "If I succeed, it isn't her skull or spine I want for a trophy to hang on my wall. My trophy is sitting at the head of this table. It is _him_ that I fight for."

Kch'lo trilled, obviously pleased by what I had said.

"Perhaps there is more to this tiny ooman than meets the eye." He paused, eyeing me carefully before continuing. "Dare I hope for your defeat?"

"Lose?" I didn't understand. I thought I was winning this bastard over!

"Losing will confirm the elder's opinions and Kal'ar will be out of options to convince them otherwise. Then you will be given to another."

"Yes. V explained all that. But - "

"You will be given according to title."

I groaned and looked at the elders seated at the table. I just couldn't fathom being trapped under their pious thumbs.

"H'ko," Kch'lo said, noticing the elders as the cause of my sullen expression. "Elder is not higher than arbitrator."

 _Oh._ _I see where this is going._

"Well..." I swallowed hard. "How many arbitrators are there?"

"Only one." He trilled and brought his cup to his lips.

I looked at Kal'ar who was paying no attention to his brother or I. Maybe I should have been terrified at Kch'lo's subtle pass, but I did find it oddly relieving that he didn't seem totally repelled to the idea of having me as his pet. I could just imagine what an elder would do if stuck with me. Maybe he'd voluntarily offer himself as an eta just to escape me.

"And if that arbitrator doesn't want the free gift?" I smiled weakly.

"You can be assured no elder will. So you will be offered to an elite, and if no elite desires an ooman pet, then perhaps a blooded will accept you."

 _Maybe I'd better start sucking up to Gikvaris._

"And if that doesn't work out so well?" I was hinged upon his every word. V had told me things, but not like this. Kch'lo's honesty was brutal and I needed it.

"Join the oomans in the common room."

Oh. So basically if no one wanted me, I'd be free game for any Yautja looking to scratch a serious sexual itch. Perfect. Choosing death over dishonor wasn't looking so bleak anymore.

"Hypothetically speaking, how far along the Yautja ladder do you think Dalani would make it?"

"Elder."

I scoffed.

 _Really? Really?! That's just insulting. I mean, he didn't even pause to think about it._

"You should be pleased they would reject you," he added. "It is clear she has little concern for the responsibility of bearing our clan leader's pups. Prefers the thrill of the hunt. Will be very bored as elder's pet. They never hunt."

That would be the sweetest revenge.

"Maybe I'm reading between the lines, but I get the feeling you aren't too fond of The Bitch?"

He clicked and trilled, curious as to the term I used, but not inquiring as to its meaning. "You presume this how?"

"When I asked your opinion of who would choose Dalani if she lost, you immediately replied 'elder'."

"Sei-i?"

I was careful to tread lightly. I wanted answers, but didn't need them so much that I would risk giving mixed signals. "You didn't say 'arbitrator'. You said 'elder'. So would it be correct to assume that you do not think highly of her since you admit you would decline an offer to claim her?"

Kch'lo did not respond, but he nodded. His silence was the only confirmation I needed.

"But you are very old," I said with reserved respect, not wishing to offend him. But truthfully, I had a feeling a Yautja didn't mind being reminded of their age. They wore it like a crown of glory instead of futilely clinging to their youth with creams and injections. "So why would it bother you that Dalani is more interested in hunting and sparring than bearing royal Yautja pups? You must have like...a whole litter by now."

"It is true...I have no desire for pups as my own were Yautja born. But it is not ooman Dalani's indifference to motherhood that would repell me from choosing her if offered. It is her spiritedness that I find loathsome. Perhaps that is an admirable trait in your world, but here...There is no temper that can rival that of a Yautja. To her detriment she believes she can prove herself as an equal among us. We do not seek ooman warriors to stand beside us in combat. Neither do we seek mates that will rear our pups in the ways of war. We require mates that can successfully gestate our sucklings; mates that possess a docile nature both in mating and when handing over our weaned pups so that they can be instructed by those more capable.

"The elders still cling to the past when Yautja females were ferocious in their choice of a mate. As bearers, they adequately reared our young and provided a base layer of training in which our skilled warriors would build upon. Ooman Dalani reminds them of their lost Yautja females, but they are turning a blind eye to her genetic limitations. Although she may be fierce, she is still only ooman. When assigned the honorable task of bearing our pups, I believe strongly that her own self-serving desires will prevail. She will long for the days when her skills in combat were admired and considered by us. She will resent the life that grows inside of her and become embittered by her sole purpose."

I couldn't believe he was being so candid with me, having absolutely no reason to share his insight with me, but I knew that little by little, the more I waded deeper into these dark waters the pieces that continued to allude me would finally start to fall into place.

"And dare I ask where that leaves me in all of this?"

Kch'lo clicked his mandibles, clearly hesitating to answer me.

"Perhaps these matters have been intentionally kept from you."

I could see by his guarded expression that if I did not give him a plausible reason to continue sharing his insight with me, coming closer to any truths would slip right through my fingers.

"V, the source of any information I receive, is limited to intellect," I began. Truthfully I was grasping at straws. "He is not capable of discerning or even computing insight."

Kch'lo's narrowed eyes studied mine. I was hoping he didn't have a good bullshit radar, but he was an arbitrator. It would be reckless of me to assume I - or anyone, for that matter - could fool him.

"Kal'ar and I...we are not like the elders. As I have said, the elders no longer hunt. They seek what you oomans would call 'peace'. Striving for equanimity in the clan, they are prone to gravitate toward whatever promises to ensure the legacy of our clan survives. Not so for an Arbitrator. While the elders debate the role in which an inferior species will play into the survival of our clan, I bear the burden of dealing with the pleasantries of a species that refuses to be dominated. Aggression is inherent in our kind, and so I must be both judge and executioner to those who do not adhere to our rigid code of honor.

"And so the elders would be more than pleased to have Dalani as their pet. The thrill of the hunt is but a painful, distant memory; enlivened only when they dare to enter their vast trophy rooms, their ancient kills laden with dust and neglect. Dalani's fierce spirit will enliven them once more; providing them with a distorted version of the thrill they have long since abandoned for their elegant robes and choice positions at Kal'ar's side.

"But for warriors such as Kal'ar and I...the thrill of the hunt is not temporal, but perpetual. So whether Kal'ar returns to his bed after enduring the trials of a relentless hunt, or I from the furious pursuit of a Bad-blood, neither of us are desire to have our mate be as equally relentless and demanding. Would prefer that our mate tremble before us in fear and wonder, willingly yielding to the fury of a base Yautja desire that can only be quenched by the rage of our lust and extinguished by the meekness of one who submits to it without protest."

Although displeased that my weakness was a point of exploitation, I was grateful that he enlightened me to the motives that had been elusive to me thus far. But being desired because I was vulnerable and perceived to be the least likely candidate to voice my displeasure was a terrible feeling. And here I thought all along that Kal'ar had just been rooting for the underdog.

Kch'lo spoke again, but I could not bring myself to look into his eyes. His words were a crippling truth.

"My brother is a fool." He inhaled deeply and trilled. "You reek of his scent, yet he has not taken you fully."

I was astonished that he could tell that much from a single sniff, but more alarming was that I hadn't prepared myself to speak of it with anyone.

"How...can you - "

Indifferent to my quivering voice or any regard for the little modesty I had left, he continued. "Your body lacks the distinct scent of ooman blood, which tells me that although he toys with you, he has not outright claimed you. He takes great risk in leaving you untouched. It would have been better for him to claim you quickly and extinguish the desire of many others than to parade you through the halls as a trophy he has not rightfully claimed." He brought his curled finger under my chin and brought my eyes to his. "I can assure you, little ooman, that regardless of the reason my brother waits to claim you, if you lose to Dalani, I will not wait."


	10. Chapter 10 - Pierce

_**Author's Notes: As always, thank you for reading, reviewing, and following. Writing is never without its labors, writing pages and pages and then realizing you want to go in a different direction. Thanks for remaining patient. ** Please see end of chapter for my responses to reviews on Chp. 9**_

 _ **I do not own the AVP universe and make no profit in writing this story. I only own my characters, and the ones in the pages to follow.**_

* * *

I was relieved to find Ayida alone in the common room. Slinking in while everyone else ate their evening meals, it was difficult to look at her in such a weakened state. Though she smiled, it was forced and I could tell that she was having a hard time holding it together. She was strong, but I knew she wanted to give into the weakness plaguing her body. Whether it was a lack of sleep, malnourishment, or a pup literally sucking the life out of her bones, I wanted desperately to help her but was helpless to understand the first thing about pregnancy.

"What is wrong?" Ayida asked as I sat down across from her. I wanted to be near her, but wouldn't allow her to even crane her neck to see me better.

"Never mind about me. Why are you alone?"

Ayida waved dismissively. "Not hungry."

"Have you been sleeping in here or with Shunlaut?" I was hoping the latter as his private quarters would provide her with the quiet she needed.

"Both. I start out in Shunlaut's bed, but I just can't get comfortable. Wind up pacing back and forth in the room before coming here for a change in scenery." She rubbed her belly, wincing in response to a pain she would not admit out loud. "And why are _you_ here?"

Hiding.

"Not hungry." I smiled.

She smiled and for a moment I caught a glimpse of my strong Ayida before her growing pain stole her away again.

"Are you nervous?"

"About?"

"You and Dalani...Must be what, three days from now?"

I shrugged. I hadn't been thinking about it much, though I knew it mattered more than what was currently plaguing my every waking thought. "I am as ready as I'll ever be."

"You are finished training then?"

"Yes." Not because I wanted to be, but because other than being here with Ayida right now, I had locked myself in my room and was loathe to leave it for any reason.

"Gikvaris must be thrilled to have you out of his hair." Ayida reached for her glass of water with trembling hands.

"You are coming, aren't you?" Studying her, I was beginning to worry if Ayida would make it to the fight...or at all.

"Of course. Wouldn't miss that beat down for the world." She took a sip of water, but was soon overwhelmed by a terrible coughing fit.

"Do you want me to take you to the clinic?" Though I was asking her, I was pretty sure at any moment I would pick her up and carry her myself to the clinic.

"No, no. Not all pregnancies are easy, Exia. I am getting older. The older I get, the harder it becomes."

"Then stop." My tone was less than kind, but none of the pain or the honor she gained for enduring it would be worth much if she wasn't alive to enjoy it.

"I am, Exia. This will be the last one."

I nodded, pleased with her decision. Eight, including the stillborn pup, was enough. "Will you stay with Shunlaut, then?"

Ayida nodded. "If he is willing, then yes. If not, then I suppose they'll find some other use for me."

I couldn't imagine what that would be, but I was sure hoping it wouldn't take her away from me. She was more than a friend and one day I would tell her why I thought of her more as a mother than a Yautja-captive sister. Right now I don't think she could have handled to hear all the baggage I carried around with me. She was just one of those women that would carry it right alongside with me, and right now she had enough burdens weighing her down.

"Exia...You're not yourself. The girls tell me you haven't been in the hall for days."

I was hiding a lot from many different people - and Yautja and artificial beings - for many different reasons, but how could I even begin to tell Ayida what had sent me into hiding in the first place? I had overcome one weakness just to be stricken by another. Kch'lo had definitely warped my perception of my own progress, piercing the fantasy I had created to cope with my hopeless situation. There would never be love between Kal'ar and I. Any affection he showed me was only in an effort to secure my unquestioning devotion to the future of his clan. I couldn't be certain that this was exactly the motive behind Kal'ar's actions, but the pieces handed to me day after day began to build a picture far greater and far more ominous than the picture I had painted myself. I was even flirting with the temptation of sabotaging my match with Dalani just to test Kch'lo's theory. Would Kal'ar continue to pursue me if he had indeed ran out of options to convince the elders of my worth, as Kch'lo said? And by testing his affections, holding to the hope that Kch'lo's subtle suggestion was only a theory and not fact, would I just be falling into a trap Kch'lo had cleverly set for me?

"Exia? What is it?" Ayida began to move from the sofa but I put up my hands to stop her. It would be easier for both of us if I just answered her instead of allowing her to expend energy she didn't have just to get me to talk.

"It's everything, Ayida. Everything is wrong. Nothing make sense anymore. Yesterday I was sure Kal'ar would choose me no matter what the elders thought and today I wonder if he'll even care I lost let alone what the hell happens to me afterwards." I wanted to cry, but I had done enough of that in my room. I didn't want to give Ayida another reason to get up and come over to me. She needed all the strength she could get.

"It's your nerves," Ayida said. "Have a glass of c'nlip and stop letting Dalani get inside of your head."

I shook my head. The Bitch was the least of my worries, ironically. "How can I focus when there are so many possible outcomes? Does it really even matter if I win? If I don't win? No matter what I do or don't do, the only one who doesn't have control of my life is _me."_

"Knowing that, why do you worry? You must make peace with what is out of your control. You cannot be angry at what was not of your own doing. Do you think I was pleased to leave my son and daughter? Though they are grown, do you not think I would rather be holding my own grandchildren instead of the offspring of my captors? But there is nothing I can do that will bring me back to them or them to me. They will live never knowing what became of their mother and I will die never knowing what became of my children." Ayida's words were painfully heavy, but lacked the bitterness I expected. "All that matters is that you live. You can live and find happiness or you can allow your resentment to poison you. The only one your bitterness affects is you. Do you think they care if you are unhappy bearing their pups? If they considered our happiness, perhaps we would have received an invitation rather than being snatched away from our loved ones without the decency of leaving a goodbye note pinned to the refrigerator."

Perhaps insensitively, I replied: "I would rather be in your position than the one I'm currently in. I'd be glad to trade."

Yeah, Ayida had it easy: a relationship with no strings attached. Not having to constantly worry about the tone of your voice or a mild expression of contempt or displeasure. Just meet, breed, repeat. Shit, they weren't even expected to learn the Yautja language because for the sole purpose of breeding, it wasn't necessary.

Taking Ayida's advice I grabbed a cup of c'nlip.

"So Kal'ar doesn't choose you. And? You'll either bear his pups or another's. In the end, what difference does it make?"

It was painful to think I could lose Kal'ar. I had done many things to prove I was the worthier choice and I believed he had done much to acknowledge my hard work. But whenever I dared to hope, Kch'lo's oppressive words came back to haunt me.

"I am afraid, Ayida. If Kal'ar doesn't choose me..."

"Go on. If he doesn't choose you, then what?" I appreciated her no-frills policy of interrogation, but just thinking of the words let alone speaking them out loud terrified me.

"Someone else has made their interest clear." I lifted my cup to my lips and hoped it would dull my nerves as it made its way down my throat. And just in case one cup didn't do the trick, there was an entire jug waiting for me just to make sure it did.

Ayida's eyes widened. I don't think she was anticipating what I had said, likely because she believed I was only struggling with the potential of a failed dream rather than an actual fear that happened to have an impressive set of tusks and a badass way of making someone feel like a child with his pointer finger.

"Before I ask who, have you spoken to Kal'ar?"

I shook my head. I was actively avoiding him, but the charade could only go on for so long. I'd have to fess up to something, but it sure as hell wasn't going to be about what his brother and I had discussed. I was more afraid of Kch'lo's wrath and I hadn't even seen it yet than Kal'ar's, which made an appearance at least every other day.

"Who? Who would dare assert a claim against what belongs to Kal'ar?"

I took a sip of my c'nlip again and then I took a gulp, effectively emptying my cup. "Kch'lo." I wasn't even sure if she heard me. I didn't even want to hear myself. I was really hoping I would wake up and this all would have been a dream. I'd still be in the clinic adjusting to the tracking device implanted at the base of my skull like a dog getting microchipped.

Ayida's dark skin actually paled. I was worried about her condition, but pleased that at least she visibly understand the gravity of my situation. I wasn't dealing with another His'tgar or an overconfident Young-blood looking to make a name for himself by picking a fight with a Yautja that outranked him. I was dealing with a Yautja who had more rank than any other Yautja on this ship apart from Kal'ar. And the fact that they were kin made it that much worse. Surely even the implication of his interest would tarnish my standing. I had little doubt that the elders would be quick to accuse me of soliciting Kch'lo's affections. Maybe they'd even accuse me of trying to organize a coup since Kch'lo was, by birthright, the next legitimate clan leader as Kal'ar had no pups. And Kch'lo had so many...

Yes. My mind was really working every possible angle.

"He is not a Yautja to be trifled with," Ayida said. Her voice was laced with warning, but I was already well aware of the danger. "The fact that he has even shared his interest with you should be an indication that this goes deeper than mere attraction. If he has put his intentions into words, you can be sure that they are followed by action." She was visibly uncomfortable with the truth I had shared with her. "There is a reason Kch'lo is an Arbitrator and not clan leader. Stay away from him, Exia. Stay as far away as you can and bury his words before they have a chance of poisoning you."

Hadn't his words already poisoned me? Or was I just blaming him because the truth was truly too difficult to accept?

"How?!"

 _How the hell can I avoid Kal'ar's brother?!_

"Whatever it is that draws him to you, extinguish it."

I scoffed. "Apparently it's what draws him _and_ Kal'ar to me."

I had learned long before my encounter with an alien species that weakness tends to have a gravitational pull for predators and no matter how cleverly disguised those weaknesses are, both animals and humans had a keen sense of smell for it. The Yautja were no different; they just had the greater advantage with advanced weaponry and technology.

"Be careful not to use his words," Ayida intoned gravely. "Though they share the same blood, they are not the same. What drives Kal'ar is different than what drives Kch'lo. One is determined to breathe life into his clan and the other is just as determined to snuff it out."

I stood up and set my cup down.

"Where are you going?"

"I gotta pack some of my shit up."

Ayida eyed me curiously.

"I'm moving in here." I looked around the room, sure as hell I would regret my choice later. They didn't even have a window view. Just walls, more walls, and terrible, bright lighting that made the entire room feel like a quarantine zone.

"Will Kal'ar allow it?"

I shrugged, laughing wearily. "I'm sure after avoiding him for days, this move will make him pissed as all hell. But I'll just tell him I've got baby fever. That ought to keep him happy...at least for now, right?"

She didn't answer me so I guess that was an answer in itself.

I went to my room, but I was only kidding myself if I believed I actually had anything to pack. A covering or two? It wasn't like the catastrophe of boxing up an entire apartment three times in the span of five years. I would miss the quiet privacy of my room, but I was loathe to be trapped by it; unable to flee if Kal'ar demanded answers from me; helpless to stop myself from begging V to navigate these murky waters; incapable of turning away from the answers Kch'lo did not demand like his brother, but offered freely. The truth was dirty and it would seem that I had had my fair share of its filth so far.

Leaving the room was the easy part, but opening the doors to the common room was not without its expectation of regret. I was living in another universe, but this room was an entirely different world in and of itself. The dynamics of the human relationship, especially among pregnant, emotional females, was a battle in itself. The girls loved me for what I had done to Dalani, which was a lifetime ago for me but as vivid as yesterday for them, but I worried what they would think when they realized I was no hero, but just as helpless as they were. Heroes inspire us to do better and be greater, but soon the veil would be lifted and they would see I was no hero, but a wounded animal instinctively lashing out. I didn't have a greater purpose for warring with Dalani. Defeating her would never change the simple truth that all of us were just surrogates for a species whose legacy would always consider us, their human bearers, inferior.

"Need help carrying all that in?"

Yeah. The little I had was actually pretty amusing.

I shrugged. "Maybe I should call the movers." I set down my covering on the couch before sitting down.

"There's a back room," Ayida said, nodding toward a small corridor to the left. "Rose wouldn't mind sharing with you."

I shook my head, taking a deep breath. "I'd rather stay right here."

"On the sofa? But Exia, you'll never get any privacy."

And that was the whole point. No privacy meant no more uncomfortable confrontations of truth.

Ignoring her concern, I asked: "Feeling better?" She didn't look so weak anymore, but she still didn't look like herself.

"Pup's sleeping. Shunlau is going to have a mighty warrior on his hands." She kneaded her pillow and then laid down, making sure her belly was comfortably positioned. "It's too early to sleep, Exia. Why don't you go and find the girls?"

"I promise, I don't snore." I laid down and rested my head on my curled arm. I could have balled up my covering and made myself comfortable, but my mind was too alive to expect it to settle down so early. And even if I wanted to go to sleep, there was far too much to weigh and consider. Sleep would have to wait while I attempted to solve this unsettling riddle. And as tempting as it was to tire myself out in the kehrite, Gikvaris was among those I vigorously sought to keep my distance from. The playful teasing I once enjoyed dishing out equally having served back to me would surely be the final stroke that burst my carefully crafted bubble of counterfeit worth.

* * *

"Are you menstruating?"

My eyes went wide and I looked around to make sure no one else had heard him.

"V..."

"Are you? There is no other viable reason for you to have inserted yourself into the common room and be so openly opposed to taking visitors or making an appearance during the evening meal. Your absence has not gone unnoticed, Exia. It would be wise for you to provide a reason for your isolation rather than allow others to speculate."

"Others? You mean Dalani? Or the Elders? Or - "

"Kal'ar, Exia. Your accountability to him is all that matters."

I gnawed at the stubs of my fingernails. "Anyone else?"

"Are you asking me if your accountability matters to anyone other than Kal'ar?" No acrimonious undertone; just the clarifying, computing inflection of a droid I continually mistook for a human.

"Anyone else speculating?...Aware of my absence...?"

V paused before speaking, surely shuffling through a chaotic memory process to answer accurately. "Not that I am aware of."

I sighed in relief, but then that sinking feeling of disappointment welled within in my chest and sent me into a panicked frenzy of examining and dissecting myself. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I wasn't _supposed_ to feel this way. Why should I care if Kch'lo noticed my absence? He was nothing to me before, but suddenly I found him creeping uninvited into my thoughts like some budding, sick fixation.

"V, can I ask you something?"

"Certainly." V placed his hands on his lap, one of many scripted gestures that slowly began to eat away at me. He wasn't my enemy, but he had been charged with my learning at Kal'ar's request. I fought my own suspicions that he had some secret agenda, but my skepticism only increased the more I inspected every object, living or not, within my environment.

"I was speaking with the girls about their Yautja mates and I have some questions about the nature of Yautja rank. I know you've explained a lot of it to me, but I don't completely understand." The one advantage I had over V was that unlike Kal'ar, Gikvaris, or Kch'lo, V definitely didn't have a bullshit radar. If I wanted answers, all I had to do was push a button he was literally programmed to respond to, sit back, and just listen to his infinite knowledge.

"As you know, the eta are considered the 'untouchables' of Yautja society. For one reason or another, they are no longer able to join the hunt and are instead used to perform basic duties on the clanship as well as menial tasks for Yautja warriors while on hunts. As you are aware, His'tgar is neither lame, crippled, or otherwise physically impaired, but his demotion from Elder to eta was strictly for humiliation purposes rather than a punishment typical for one that chooses death over dishonor after a failed hunt.

"Un-blooded Yautja remain in training until the time of their chiva. They are not permitted to hunt or use deadly weapons while sparring. Most of the Yautja you see in the kehrite are Un-blooded. Young-bloods are Un-blooded Yautja that have passed their chiva. Young and full of ambition, they are relentless on the hunt, seeking to collect as many trophies as possible to prove their status. Similarly, Blooded Yautja are essentially Young-bloods, only with more hunt experience.

"Yautja warriors are those that hunt alone, often considered 'Lone Wolfs'. They rarely return to the clanship while in pursuit of the most worthy of prey. Then there is the Honored, who enjoy more concessions for their skill in combat. Honored Yautja, who are called 'Elites', are much like warriors, only they possess a higher level of combat skill. Elites, such as Gikvaris, are chosen to rear pups because they have mastered many skills, including but not limited to combat, and due to their experience and many years of satisfying hunts they are less aggressive." He smiled at me. "And infinitely impatient."

He paused to make sure I had no questions before continuing; no sign of being winded from all of the information he was spewing. "Then there are Elders who have endured thousands of hunts, but have become bored with the hunt itself. They are more disciplined and have more wisdom and so their expertise and level-headedness is continually sought by those in higher positions. Arbitrators are Elders who have also become bored with the hunt, having exhausted worthy prey, and have 'graduated', if you will, to the hunt of Bad-bloods: prey considered worthy only because they have broken Yautja law and have hunted forbidden prey or otherwise committed atrocities against their own kind. Arbitrators are also employed to handle clan disputes, but with great reservation. Their decisions are final and no amount of persuasion to appeal their decision will prevail.

"And then of course there are the Bad-bloods. Their name denotes their status. Their crimes range from killing unworthy prey; failure during a hunt and refusing to die with honor, choosing instead to live as a drifter; murder of other Yautja, oftentimes those of another clan. It is an Arbitrator's task to continually track this caste of rogue Yautja, offering to assist them in suicide to redeem their honor or to outright execute them if unwilling. And need I explain the role of a clan leader? In human terms, he is the undisputed king of his clan. This right is attained through bloodlines, though in very rare instances a Yautja can invoke the right to contend for a position as clan leader. If several trials are successfully passed the Yautja is permitted to start and lead his own clan."

I already knew most of the information V provided, but my question was a veiled one. One that would pave the way toward deeper understanding without the scrutiny.

"And these Arbitrators...They are below the Elders?"

"Rarely. There have been several exceptions, but the standard is that an Arbitrator is first an Elder. An Elder may offer suggestions as to a situation or its possible outcome, but they do not make decisions without a council of Elders or their clan leader. Once an Arbitrator is called in, the decision rests with him alone. This occurs when a clan leader cannot or will not make a decision and chooses instead to bring in a neutral party. Though a clan leader can veto an Arbitrator's decision, it is _rarely_ done so that the finality of an Arbitrator's decision is maintained. If an issue is considered too sensitive or deemed a conflict of interest for the clan as a whole, an outside Arbitrator is summoned. This is also rare, but I have seen a rise in this practice over the years. Kch'lo, in fact, has been summoned by other clans on numerous occasions to settle disputes within the clan and once when two clans were at odds over exclusive rights to a preserve." V paused when Ayida walked into the room. She put up her hand apologetically, grabbed a bowl of naxa, and returned to one of the inner rooms.

V's information was feeding that sick obsession of mine that had reared its ugly head again. "Kch'lo is an Arbitrator...and so if he is as powerful as you say he is, why is he not expected to take a mate and continue breeding?" Feeling like I had revealed too much personal interest, I quickly added: "Kch'lo's pups may never become clan leaders, but isn't the whole point of being supremely ambitious to rise in rank, secure the most advantageous mate, and produce the strongest offspring?"

"Yes, but you are only privy to the observations of this clan. Normally the eldest born Yautja of a clan leader is the next in line. Kal'ar is a most honorable leader, but it was not his right by birth to take his Sire's place as clan leader. It was Kch'lo's own abdication that allowed Kal'ar to overstep the line of succession. Kch'lo has many pups, some older than Kal'ar. If Kal'ar should ever succumb to his injuries on a hunt, Kch'lo would undeniably be the next clan leader. If again unwilling, the right would pass onto his eldest pup."

As informative as this was, it was torturous that I had been lead to believe by others that Kal'ar and Kch'lo's capacity to rule as clan leader was based solely on morality and equability, not by personal choice. At least I could believe what V was telling me. He had no reason to lie or give me half-truths. His sole purpose was to inform and instruct. Nothing he said would benefit himself or anyone else.

I asked nothing more about the subject and was relieved to change the subject when V reminded me that he needed an answer as to my absence, not for himself but for Kal'ar. But fake a period? With the way my luck had been lately, I could certainly expect an examination from Vik'var'is to confirm my purported condition.

"Very tired," I said, trying to convince him by actually yawning.

"Perhaps we could have some bloodwork drawn to - "

"No, V. It's not that serious. I think my body is just catching up to all the training I've been doing these past few weeks." Eh. It had some truth to it.

V nodded before standing up. "Get some rest. I will come back for you later."

"For bloodwork? V, I told you - "

"Not bloodwork. At least not yet. But you must make an appearance tonight, even if only for a short while."

It was not a request. I imagined V would drag me out of this room by my hair just to make sure I quelled the whispers that had started on account of my self-imposed isolation. He was, after all, tasked with not only my learning but with grooming me as a clan leader's mate.

* * *

I sat on the floor below Ayida on the sofa while she combed through my hair with her fingers and worked thin, scattered braids throughout my hair. We were both killing time, dreading leaving the common room; I for seeing anyone other than Ayida or V, and Ayida because the sight of certain foods sent her stomach into an uproar as of late.

"Too bad c'nlip is off limits for you," I said. "One look at us and they'd send us right back here."

"Perhaps me, but not you. I think the elders secretly look forward to what you'll do with a little liquid courage in you." She snickered before finishing off a final braid. "All set." Admiring her handiwork, she added: "Maybe Kal'ar will even buy you a drink."

I huffed, sure that buying me a drink was the last thing on his mind. I was preparing myself for his hot, indignant glare, but to me this whole courting thing was a two way street. It hadn't escaped me that _he_ had put a tracking device at the base of my skull so it wasn't as if he could pretend to be oblivious to my whereabouts. But the more highly I thought of myself in that context, the more I had to remind myself that it wasn't Kal'ar who needed me, but I, him. And needed him in the sense that one needed air to keep on breathing and living. As much as I wanted some alien species to pursue me through the depths of space in some wild, intergalactic romance, it was an all too sobering truth that I was just as easily discarded and replaced as soon as the thrill of the hunt went cold. And I was tired of continually being kept on my toes. I just wanted to get on with my life. Or rather what remained of it.

V opened the door but remained outside in the hall, an open invitation to join him. I stood up and took Ayida's hand to help her onto her feet. We both gave each other _the look_ before joining V and following him down the hall toward the voices that grew louder the closer we came to the assembly hall. V opened the door and Ayida followed, but I was hesitant to go in after them. I was overwhelmed by anxiety and guilt, though conceivably I had done nothing wrong to anyone in that room. Starting to lose my nerve, I decided that in an effort to stave off an imminent panic attack it would be better for me to turn around. Enduring a bout of rage from Kal'ar or a stern chastisement from V would be worth my chickening out. And so I turned, prepared to run if V so much as even _looked_ at me with those disapproving eyes of his.

"Ah, the ooman lives."

Having been in such a panic to get back to the common room I nearly stumbled into Kch'lo as I turned around. I let out a muted gasp and inched against the wall, nervously smoothing back my hair, suddenly conscious of an appearance I had long since forgotten about. How panicked and disheveled I must have looked; how awkward my putting distance between us as if avoiding him like the plague must have been.

His head was slightly cocked, curious of my peculiar behavior, but his shoulders weren't squared and his body wasn't tense. I imagine he found some sort of amusement in my reaction, though his voice lacked the customary trill indicating so.

"Is it as your je'mar has said?" He stood taller and turned his body toward me. "That you suffer from exhaustion?" He clicked. He was studying me. Obviously he didn't give much credit to my feigned fatigue as a reason to take up residence in the common room.

"Sei-i." Every time my eyes met his they immediately and impulsively found _anything_ else to look at.

"There is nothing more relaxing than the company of prattling, pregnant females."

He was baiting me, but he couldn't possibly know that my brain was turning in so many different directions that I didn't have the will to sluff off his accusatory observation.

He stepped back to give me room to pass, but I was paralyzed.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

"I will tell them you took ill, if you wish..."

I shook my head furiously. "No...I...I don't need to see the healer." I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. I was being ridiculous. I would just walk into that room as self-conscious as I had always been and nothing bad would happen. It was only dinner. I could do this.

"As you wish." He clicked before continuing into the room.

I watched as his deep purple cloak trail behind him, fluttering in the wake of his purposeful steps. When he was out of sight I took a few more deep breaths before making my own entrance, trying to keep my eyes directly in front of me instead of darting back and forth to regard the attention my presence garnered. Though I could feel the intensity of their stares, I kept my focus on Ayida across the room who silently supported me while in the midst of my unease, thought I was doubtful she understood the reason for it.

Once I was sitting beside Ayida, my small, compressed world opened up and I could finally breathe again. To my own peril I eventually allowed my eyes to wander the room, not sure if I was crushed more that Kal'ar simply ignored me or that Dalani was sitting right beside him with her translator and her pet Elder.

"Why the fuck did I even come here?"

"What did you say?"

I looked over at Exia, horrified that my inside voice had actually escaped what should have been my carefully guarded lips.

I shook my head, casually dismissing her. I looked around the table and offered a few forced smiles to the girls, seeing nothing on their plates that interested me. I was anything but hungry. My stomach had become a jumble of kinks and knots and suddenly going to see Vik'var'is didn't seem like such a bad thing.

"Exia, are you okay? Your face...You look like you have seen a ghost."

I looked at Adela, the tall, blond Russian and smiled. "I'm okay. Just need some water."

She passed it to me, suspicious of my answer, but didn't press the issue before returning to her conversation with Rose.

"He's watching you." Ayida craned her neck toward the table across the room, careful not to outright stare at whoever she had noticed glancing my way.

"Kal'ar? How - "

"No..." Her brow furrowed. "The other one."

"Oh..."

But that could have been anyone, right?

"Why don't you just go talk to him?"

"The other one...?"

"No. Kal'ar. Just go plop down next to him and get it out. The tension is so thick...Well, you know the rest."

Ayida was right about the tension, just not about who it was between. Kal'ar was clearly indifferent to any perceived slight, but he sure knew how to send a message of just how unaffected he was by it. It was just another reason among the many I wasn't so sure anything I had done since arriving mattered in securing my position as his mate. My how the tables had turned and here was Dalani was just soaking it up like a toad basking in sunlight.

"Maybe tomorrow," I said. But I was lying to her and myself. I had zero intention of approaching Kal'ar about anything that had happened since the last time I was sitting at that table. It was only a few chairs down from where Kal'ar presently sat that my whole world came crashing down on me. Or maybe it had crashed long before then and it only took someone else to open my eyes to it.

I stayed as long as it would take for my appearance to be in any way meaningful before I grabbed V and crept over toward Kal'ar. Standing next to him, keenly aware that Dalani was practically eyeball fucking me, I gave a gentle bow to let him know I was retiring for the night.

"Will send for Exia later." His tone was flat. I honestly think his statement wasn't even directed at me, but V.

My mind scrambled to figure out a way of getting out of seeing him later, but every time my mouth moved to speak, I tripped over my words before deciding to say something else. Dalani's snickering didn't help either and finally Kal'ar had had enough.

"Exia ill?"

 _Finally. The word I was so desperate to hear a Yautja say instead of that hideous term 'sickly' they liked to throw around._

"Sei-i."

"She is still very fatigued from training," V said.

His eyes now boring into mine, Kal'ar said: "Will not need...strength...tonight."

The sublimity of his message was not lost on me. There was no way in hell I could do _that_ tonight. Not with the cluster fuck of thoughts swirling around in my head. The last thing my already confused mind needed was another round of shimmying onto his bed and letting him have at it. Being so intimate with him was the last thing in the universe I actually wanted. At least not until I could get a handle on myself and all the ominous conclusions my mind kept jumping to.

"H'ko," I said softly.

The mere word had him bristling.

"Exia...suffering from ooman condition." I forced myself to keep looking at him, afraid if I looked away he would immediately call my bluff.

"Just one?" Dalani chuckled.

It took everything in my power not to pick up her plate and smash it over her head, but I didn't think Kal'ar would appreciate the gesture considering my having told him 'no' was far more serious than Dalani's usual mockery.

"V, tell him. I don't know how to say it."

V stared at my blankly.

"Thwei." Seeing that Kal'ar was still drawing a blank I continued to search for the words that would convey my meaning. "Thwei...cycle." Blood cycle. I guess that made sense. Sure as shit had to at this point.

V moved as if to rebut what I had just said but I shot him one of the deadliest side glares I could cunjur to keep him from doing so.

"Sei-i." Kal'ar moved his hand to dismiss me and I didn't wait around for him to scrutinize me further.

As I quickly left the room I glanced over at Kch'lo. He clicked his mandibles, emitting a low trill as I passed by.

Yeah. His bullshit radar was good. Damn good.

* * *

 _ **Author's Response to reviews:** _

_Vivida - Glad you are enjoying...Hang in there...its going **there**. _

_shellly.c - thank you! I didn't want to rush this with too much information and plots at once. Have you ever read The Historian? So much information in one chapter I forget what the hell they even said about it by the next chapter._

 _JunogawaKing - thank you so much, that really means a lot since there are like thousands out there! Thank you xo!_

 _Guest - Wish I could personally give you a shout out (as in name), but thank you for the kind words. & you hit the nail on the head with the "Me Yautja, you Jane stuff" comment because that is exactly what I **didn't** want. _

_FutureEnchantments - I wanted to make Kal'ar morally appealing, so to speak, but I'm a sucker for a dark soul. Its why I secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) root for the villains in almost everything._

 _write more sooon - I seriously cant tell you how happy I am when I check my reviews and you have left one! If I ever post a new chapter and your name is missing in the reviews, it will seriously throw a monkey wrench in my day. And I like how you just cut to the chase - "write more soon". Says it all, doesn't it?_

 _Guest - I wish I could give you a personal shout out (as in name), but hopefully you're reading this and know that this reply is in response to your review. I am glad you are liking the brother, because he'll be around much more. That being said, I absolutely detest a main character that doesn't face struggle and conflict...because how can we relate to a perfect, nothing-ever-bad-happens-to-me character when there is no one on the face of the earth so lucky? Or maybe I'm the only one that unlucky, ha! Thank you for your encouragement, and I hope the coming chapters satisfy!_

 _Chromaticism - Not wrong at all... In the 1989 movie, Red Riding Hood, all I wanted was for Lady Jean to snap the hell out of it and get with the_ _totally evil twin,_ _Godfrey or for the good twin to actually be dead so that she didn't have much of a choice._ _Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks along these lines!_


	11. Chapter 11 - Womb

**_Author Notes: Thank you for the reviews on Chapter 10. I am honestly glad that there was a range of reviews: some thrilled at the possibility the story is headed in a different direction and others hoping Exia gets her shit together and gets back on track with Kal'ar. I am thoroughly pleased that I have readers who have strong feelings for which counterpart she's headed toward. Lots going on here and in the chapters to follow so no matter which side of the fence you're on, I'm crossing my fingers this will satisfy both sides._**

 ** _I have no rights to the AVP universe and make no profit in writing this story. I only own my characters and the ones that follow._**

* * *

Kal'ar hadn't sent for me last night, respectful of the condition I implied would be a messy ordeal if he was intent on having me in his bed, but he did send for me early the next evening before I had a chance to disappear and distract myself as I had been doing lately. I met him in the clinic where Vik'var'is was waiting for me; Vik'var'is promising not to assault me with any more needles but only to perform a simple scan to ensure the capsule in my neck was in full functioning order. And it was indeed a simple scan paired with a series of codes to ensure Kal'ar's wrist gauntlet was properly receiving and decoding the data transmitted from my body.

When Vik'var'is finished he left the room and closed the door behind him. My heart began to race but I quickly determined to settle myself down, afraid that he could not only hear the thumping of my heart against my chest but accurately detect it with his gauntlet. He approached without caution, breaking down the thick wall I had put between us by setting his hands on my shoulders. I let out a weary sigh of relief. The tension was finally broken and this time it hadn't be on account of any restless, problem solving scheme I had devised to win him over. This time he was the driving force behind bridging the gap between us. I wanted him to come to me; to notice I was hurting and to pull me out of the despair I had willingly allowed myself to fall into. I had no idea what would transpire between us within the coming moments, but I was satisfied that at least his eyes weren't boring into mine with that same suspicion I had perceived last evening in the assembly hall.

He moved his hand down to my chest and with his free hand used his finger to tilt my face up to his. "Ex-ee-a...H'ko h'dlak . Ex-ee-a...must be...Yeyinde."

He was telling me 'no fear' - that I had to be a 'Brave One'. But he was inherently brave and I was just an average human whose momentary display of mercy toward another had been mistaken for courage. But I knew why he was telling me this now. Tomorrow was the big day. The day I had been anticipating with a combination of both dread and determination from Day One. Or two. Whenever I had stopped panicking and actually listened to what V was telling me about the nature of the challenge ahead of me.

"Ex-ee-a has proven will to win. Gikvaris pleased. Kal'ar most pleased." He purred softly and it reached out and slowly began to peel away the layers of the mistrust I had allowed to cocoon around my easily given affections for him.

"Why does Kal'ar choose Exia over Dalani?" But he hadn't chosen yet. Not officially. So I needed to rephrase that. "Why does Kal'ar pay little attention to Dalani?"

Kal'ar's eyes narrowed momentarily, visibly displeased by either my question or the name I had just dropped into it, but then he moved his hand directly above my heart. "N'got. Will be good mate. Better bearer."

"And if I lose?" That vicious swell of the unknown washed over me again, tugging at the foundation of my already unstable confidence. "How can Exia bear to see Kal'ar with another?" My eyes fell to the floor. I just couldn't bear to imagine it.

Kal'ar lifted my chin again as if my eyes weren't already locked on his. Whatever he was about to say, he wanted to make sure the truth in his eyes penetrated the depths of my concern before his words. And because the Yautja believed words were overrated anyway.

"Win or lose, Ex-ee-a belong to Kal'ar."

Days ago that might have satisfied me, but today it wasn't enough. I needed more.

"H'ko. Will die if Kal'ar keeps Exia as pet only."

Kal'ar stiffened. "This is reason Ex-ee-a hides?"

 _"Sei-i."_ I pinched the bridge of my nose to keep from crying.

The mere notion of being kept at his side as anything less than a mate was stifling, but it was a very real possibility. As V accurately noted, I had only been privy to observing the mechanisms within a single clan, but it was obvious that their culture as a whole was not accustomed to the idea of monogamy. There was a handful of girls presently in the common room that could attest to that. I had also gathered from V's lessons that a Yautja female was not expected to breed with any one, single Yautja, but to take a multitude of these brute warriors as their mate for the sole purpose of reproduction. Among a plethora of Yautja suitors, all that stood between a female's final choice was not in the integrity of a potential mate, but in the ability to present the most impressive trophies. The bigger the trophy, the stronger the warrior. The stronger the warrior, the stronger the pup. The frills of romance had likely never existed before their untimely decline so it stood to reason that the Yautja realized that dropping the bones of their kills at a human's feet wasn't the best way to win their affection. But that also didn't make them any less prone to spreading their seed with as many genetically suitable mates as possible in an effort to widen the gene pool. Kal'ar had every right to keep me as his plaything and continue establishing his line with other human mates. And when I say he had a right, I mean that he was big, I was small, and there wasn't shit I could do about it.

Kal'ar wiped away a lone tear that had escaped my careful restraint. "Win or lose, Ex-ee-a belong to Kal'ar. Not as pet. As mate."

Having just contemplated that very issue, I was surprised that my reaction was less pleased and more stunned. Suddenly it all didn't seem fair, at least not for Dalani. And not that I had suddenly grown a soft spot for her, but why hadn't he just declared his intentions from the get-go instead of dragging me through the trenches of conflict and forcing me to claw my way through an unforgiving slew of personal trials? Perhaps I could have been spared a few scars acquired along the way.

Regarding my silent surprise, he continued. "Dalani does not heed Kal'ar's instruction. Kal'ar knows what is best for ooman and clan. Followed advice of Elders instead. Dalani is too headstrong. Sees place at Kal'ar's side and not below. There is only one clan leader. Will not make good mate. Will pass her stubbornness on to Kal'ar's pups."

Finally! Instead of simply replying that she 'has no honor' as if he had trademarked the phrase himself, he gave me an entire fucking list of reasons. Now that... _that_ had me on Cloud Nine.

"Ex-ee-a must still strive to defeat Dalani. Must put to rest Elders' complaints." He brought his face close to mine and I couldn't help but melt in the warmth of his eyes. "Win or lose, Ex-ee-a is Kal'ar's." He paused and his body softened before a low purr undulated in his throat. His eyes constricted and I detected in them a gleam of playful subterfuge. "Kal'ar desires Ex-ee-a to obtain nain-desintje-de." _I sure as hell planned on having an absolute victory_. "But if Ex-ee-a suffers defeat...Kal'ar will mend wounds h'ko healer can." He trilled before running his tusk alongside my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. That thrill of possessive dominance sparked inside of me and turned me into a ball of mush.

I reached down to his loincloth, determined to cash that rain check I had written him last night, but he gently brought my hands back to my lap.

"Ex-ee-a honors Kal'ar with her yearning, but better for Ex-ee-a to focus frustrations on Dalani." Again he trilled and I let out a grunt of protest.

Bridge now mended, The Bitch had no idea what she had coming.

* * *

"Exia." Ayida nudged me out of my contemplative gaze. "There is an eta at the door. Says Gikvaris and Kyhemeda have sent for you."

I groaned before forcing myself off of the sofa. I had been in the zone since leaving the clinic; my full attention on snapping out of self-wallowing, but being that my match with Dalani would take place tomorrow I was sure Kyhemeda would want to take a final look at my suit and Gikvaris a final pass in the kehrite. I wanted to curl up in a ball and let today be over and done with so that tomorrow could also be over and done with as well, but Gikvaris wasn't sending me an invitation in which I had the choice of RSVP'ing to. And I knew it would all be for the better. I needed to brush up on my skills in the kehrite as a few days off had mentally bogged me down. And it couldn't hurt letting Kyhemeda inspect for any weaknesses in my suit, either.

I approached the eta waiting out in the hallway with his eyes on his feet. His voice was almost a whisper and I strained my ears to hear him. "Kyhemeda...send for ooman Exi-ee-ah."

Why was my name constantly being butchered? I think I had a fairly easy name to pronounce in comparison to the linguistic chaos of Yautja names.

Since he couldn't see a nod with his eyes firmly planted on the floor, I thanked him before scurrying down the hallway. I wasn't in a rush to see Gikvaris, but I was certainly not in a rush to bump into Kal'ar along the way, either. I had left him on an emotional high and I just needed to get through today riding the coattails of that high so that all of the doubts and burning questions that had surfaced over the past few days could be laid to rest once and for all. I couldn't trust myself in the small space that lied between now and then, so it was better for me to continue pretending my "blood cycle" was to blame for my erratic behavior so that no one could drive the wedge of suspicion further. I had heard the words Kal'ar spoke to me. I acknowledged that he called me 'his'. But to put my suspicion and speculation to rest I needed to _see_ that I was his. 'Win or lose', I needed to see with my own eyes that nothing stood between us. The jig may have been up with Kal'ar, but for everyone else...all they needed to know for now was what I had blurted out in the assembly hall to my own humiliation.

Stepping into the 'elevator' which was more like a pod rather than the square, metal containers assaulting one's ears with shifty instrumental jazz reminiscent of cheap porn, it descended several levels of which I did not have the privilidge of roaming or investigating. I had reached the lower level when the container paused with a slight jerk before the door opened with a hiss. Unlike the upper levels there were no windows in which to regard the overwhelming stretch of black space, but also unlike the upper levels there was a welcomed break in the oppressive formality of title and expectations. The air was ripe with all manner of indistinct and sometimes foul scents, but all strange smells aside it was a much needed shift in my unsettling environment above. And thank God the lighting was not as bright and intrusive as it was in the common room. Any spectrum of fluorescent lighting, alien or not, was the devil on my eyes.

Without Gikvaris to escort me or Kal'ar to play a game of hide-and-seek, I wandered unabashedly throughout the lower level, no longer afraid of the eta that controlled the integral operations below - despite how miniscule it was considered - which was the life force behind the clan's prosperity. The very meals we ate were prepared by their hands; carefully selecting animals from caged corrals to be slaughtered, skinned, cut and processed, all with regard to each animal's delicacy: the finer lot designated for the Yautja that had reached Elite status. Those animals in less than perfect condition, though not ill or otherwise unsuitable for consumption, allotted to those below Elite status. And even though the eta prepared the meat, they themselves were only permitted to eat the scraps left on the plates they collected after each meal. I had learned simply by observing that Yautja warriors would often hunt for this coveted source of food and return to the clanship to barter and trade with those below their status. As there was no currency other than weapons, food or supplies, it became a game of having something that someone else wanted more.

There was nothing though that they had that I desired or would have use of, but it was an interesting interaction that one day might prove useful to understand and adequately navigate. How advantageous it might be one day to be the person that knew precisely how to obtain with ease the very thing that elluded everyone else. It wasn't beyond me that one day I may have a need or someone I cared for may have a need that couldn't be entrusted or relied upon by anyone else to acquire. If I ever saw a Yautja with a display of beads I'd be sure to trade whatever I had and more just to get them for Ayida. She was desperate to weave beads - or frankly, anything - into her hair, constantly fixated on enhancing the ornamental appearance of herself and the rest of us in what I can only imagine was owed to a passion for hairstyling. And if I actually defeated Dalani tomorrow and Kal'ar took me on that visit to solid ground, I'd be sure to slip in a request for a planet with a coastline so I could get her some shells if beads were not in the foreseeable future of this strange Yautja market.

And if I saw a Yautja with a table set up in this alien, underground marketplace displaying his wares of cosmetics and books and maybe, just maybe - though this was _purely_ fantasy, I'm aware - a fully loaded music player, I'd damn near sell my soul to take the entire table with me. Hell, I'd sell my soul for a half-empty tube of mascara at this point. I'd trade anything to make me feel human again. Walking around with a fast-fading dye job, dark circles under my eyes, and a pale complexion that would frighten even the likes of ghost, it was no wonder why I felt like death. Not physically, but mentally. I'd even consider rescinding my position as an eligible mate for Kal'ar if an Elder promised to make a quick pit stop to my home world and give me ten minutes in a convenience store. But who was I kidding? I'd take even five. And if that wouldn't fly, maybe after I really settled in here I'd take a deeper look into the black grease that coated salvaged ship parts and try my hand at using it as eyeliner. Or as an art medium in which to distract a too often bored mind.

As I turned down the corridor toward Kyhemeda's quarters I focused my breathing to prepare myself for Gikvaris' dry observations which were usually followed by some harsh quip I could never be quite sure wasn't an outright insult or just a play on my gullibility. The door was closed so I pressed the intercom to let him know I had arrived. Instead of doing the same for me, I heard a loud grunt from inside that would be the only acknowledgement of my arrival he would give. Guess he had gone back to that wonderful mood I had the pleasure of experiencing upon our introduction.

Further down I watched as an eta exited a room and made his way down the corridor, keeping close to the other side of the wall in an awkwardly obvious attempt to place as much distance between himself and me as the narrow corridor would allow. He feebly supported himself on what appeared to be a wooden staff, hobbling forward with his eyes carefully regarding every unsteady step he took. I wondered what sort of hunt he had been on to incur such damnable injuries. I imagined he fought something fierce and terrible like a kainde amedha queen. Maybe he thought he had the upper hand until that ugly, barb-like tail whipped around and pierced his spine, causing a paralytic effect on his lower body. Or maybe he had gone to Earth looking for an easy kill but encountered a human that he, to his own proud detriment, had underestimated. Though my imaginations had the propensity to go on endlessly, I'd never actually ask him or any other eta, for that matter. It was the root of his present shame and I wasn't about to kick that dust up in face.

As he drew near, I backed up against the wall to allow him to pass without causing him too much distress. He was, as all the other eta were, clearly uncomfortable being close to humans. It wasn't just with me; it was with Dalani, too. And that irked me to no end. If there was anyone to cause them mild irritation or an unbearable degree of revulsion, it should have been Dalani. It was expected that the upper Yautja society (and I mean upper as in any Yautja _not_ an eta) would act as though the eta filling his cup, replacing his pelts, or tidying up the mess he had left behind, was invisible, but it was not acceptable for Dalani to behave that way. She wasn't a Yautja. And she certainly didn't have any honor of her own to be acting so lofty.

The eta was right by me now and I shifted my body again to accommodate him. His head still lowered, he nodded to acknowledge the gesture, but it was just inevitable that our bodies collided. He was too bulky to pass by freely. Hell, Gikvaris and I walked single-file down this corridor and even Gikvaris was forced to contort his massive body to escape having his shoulders brush up against the walls.

"I am sorry," I said, finding it difficult to navigate my feet around his cane. "If Kyhemeda would have just opened the damn door none of this would be happening right now."

He reached out his hand and took hold of my shoulder gently, trying to manipulate my body so he could pass. I was at first horrified that he had touched me - not because I detested him the way his clan did, but because of what might happen to him if Gikvaris opened the door and saw him touching me. But then I grew somewhat elated that his trembling hand was using my shoulder as both a support and a solution to our current predicament. It meant that both of us were not entirely 'untouchable', which also meant that maybe one day I could break through the barriers of class and gain a few allies along the way.

Then his hand pushed against my shoulder a little too roughly, pinning me against the wall. I was mildly irritated, having had enough of this dance already, but then his cane fell and looking down I was overwhelmed with shame and sympathy. I went to bend down to retrieve it, but his hand was still on my shoulder. I looked at him, ready to speak, but when he lifted his head and his eyes met mine I gasped right before my body went into complete shock. He clapped his hand over my mouth before I had a chance to scream. His'tgar, no longer the formidable Elder I recalled but a withered creature wearing a hairless crown of shame, stared wildly at me; his eyes darting back and forth as he watched me writhe in terror beneath his heavy hands. Sufficiently using enough force to keep my head against the wall he removed his hand from my shoulder and reached into the folds of his ragged cloak to retrieve a blade from his belt. I screamed and shrieked, but his hand effectively muffled any sound of desperation my throat emitted.

"I warned you ooman, but you thought Kal'ar could keep you from the promise of my threat." He brought the tip of his blade at the apex of my thighs and I stopped moving, terrified that if I struggled against him he'd be sure to fill me with the cold metal of his blade rather than a rabid Yautja, as promised. "But I am not sure that making you a whore would not in turn make you a martyr. So I must do what will effectively terminate your candidacy as Kal'ar's mate."

Thick tears welled in my eyes and spilled out over his hand. Though his tightly clenched fingers covered my mouth they couldn't stop the awful taste of my own bitter tears. My mind was racing in a thousand different directions, frantically trying to assess every angle of escape but in my growing panic I failed to see one. My heart pounded more furiously than a war drum and though I could still breathe out of my nostrils that panic attack I had been so worried about last night finally overwhelmed me and wrapped its suffocating tendrils around my chest and sent it into violent, uncontrollable heaving. I was certain that I was going to die in the most brutally violent way I never could have dared to imagine before this moment, but I was still desperate to live. On Earth, the only ones that had a right to take my life was myself and the deity I once imagined lived in the dark space we currently drifted through. But on this ship there was only one that had the right to take my life if I had done something to warrant that end, but His'tgar was not the one and I had done nothing dishonorable for him to extinguish the tiny flame of my life that had remained burning amidst a swelling storm.

He moved the blade from between my legs but I couldn't see the hand holding it as my head was firmly restrained. He gazed at me a few moments before his mandibles flared, abruptly withdrawing his hand from my mouth and using his fingers to curl around the back of my neck. Before I could even utter a scream he pulled me into himself and my body rode the wave of his forceful draw, unable to jerk back before a searing, breathtaking pain shot out from my abdomen and stifled a cry in my throat. Every muscle in my body went limp as it yielded to the invading force and I slumped forward against him. He held me for what seemed like an eternity, my body still unable to cry out for fear that even the slightest movement would intensify my pain. He flicked his wrist before wrenching the blade violently from my body. He placed his hand on my shoulder and shoved me against the wall and my knees buckled when his hand withdrew and I fell to the floor with a hard thump. When he stepped back I saw the knife at his side, the blade and its hilt covered in blood. _My blood._

His'tgar pressed Kyhemeda's intercom several times before taking off, no longer the crippled eta slinking down the corridor I regarded with sympathy and a longing to connect with. I slid my hand over the large wound in my abdomen to try to slow the bleeding, but even then I knew it was pointless. The lower part of my covering was so thick and drenched with blood that it began seeping out of the pelt, collecting into a pool of blood already between my legs on the floor. He had cut too deep; torn too wide. Nothing I could do would stop the bleeding and the more I hemorrhaged the more what little feeling I had left in my failing body rapidly dwindled. But with what little strength I still had left I reached for Kyhemeda's door and made several feeble attempts to knock, but no matter how hard I struggled my hands were only able to make gentle strokes against the smooth, reflective metal.

My present condition felt nothing like the dulling of senses I had experienced in the clinic where everything around me became one dimensional. Now, instead of noise filling my ears as if being poured in through a funnel, my hearing became acutely aware to sounds I would otherwise not have heard: the flickering of the bulbs above me; the gentle hum of a power source in the compartments beneath the floor; the static waves emitting from the intercom. The noise was so overwhelming and unbearable that when it finally began to fade and was replaced with the quiet, gradually slowing thumps of my overworked, failing heart, I didn't even fight it.

I didn't hear the door open but when I saw Kyhemeda I finally closed my eyes. It was okay now. I wasn't going to die alone. He had me in his arms now, lifting me out of a swelling sanguine ocean. His rapid succession of movement grew lethargic and I opened my eyes briefly, catching a glimpse of his closed mouth slowly opening as if to let out a massive roar. I felt the vibration of his chest against my arm but not a single sound escaped his mouth. A lidded darkness enveloped me before I realized my eyes were shut again and the further I slipped into its deep folds the deeper I found myself submerged into a vacuum of silence. But wherever Kyhemeda was carrying me off to, it was cold and terribly void of animate structure. The warmth and comforting confinement of being coiled in Kyhemeda's arms had been stolen from me. All that remained was that cold, still darkness extending a tempting invitation to collapse into its infinite folds, promising that I would finally attain that quiet peace that continued to elude me. It would be easier to give in than to heed the distant echo of Kyhemeda's repeated orders to stay with him.

* * *

A lot had happened in between the time I closed my eyes in Kyhemeda's arms to when I opened them for the first time in the clinic. So much had happened that as V spoke to me in his usual perfunctory manner I believed for a long while that I was simply dreaming. But as my vision adjusted to the dim overhead lighting and the pressure in my ears dissolved, I became keenly aware of how very far I was from dreaming. My mind had been suspended in an eternal, quiet silence void of any dreams, so when it registered that I was actually awake and V was actually sitting beside me, my mind began to cope with the reality that I had survived His'tgar's attack.

I don't know when exactly I stopped listening to V, but my hands crept down over my stomach and lifted the stiff pelt that was covering my waist. My fingers trailed the thick, pink, raised scar in the center of my abdomen in the shape of a narrow, diagonal 'v'. It amazed me that despite the crippling pain I had endured I was left with only a small fragment of it as a permanent reminder. In the throes of my bitter wonder, V's voice came back to me and it soon made perfect sense why my wound was healed.

I had lost consciousness before Kyhemeda reached the clinic, but during surgery I woke up in a fit of panic, tearing my nearly cauterized wound back open. Vik'var'is sedated me and continued to sedate me for several weeks until I was no longer at risk for reopening the wound and hemorrhaging again. I had lost a lot of blood and was in desperate need of a transfusion, but as each of the girls were pregnant they could not - and would not be permitted to - offer their own blood to aid me. Out of options, Vik'var'is relied upon infusions used on wounded or ill Yautja, experimenting with the levels and doses until finally, after three days, my condition began to stabilize.

He informed me that after His'tgar attacked me he fled the clanship with the eta who had assisted him. So far the Elders had gathered that His'tgar had used the eta to distract Kyhemeda and occupy him while His'tgar made his move in the corridor. As the details unfolded V must have regarded my bewilderment because he elaborated on the Elders' speculations concerning His'tgar's motives. To the only one who had witnessed the malice in His'tgar's eyes before plunging his curved blade into my gut, to hear that His'tgar had no intention of murdering me came as quite a shock. In fact, I broke out into hysterical laughter at the mere insinuation. I guess the Elders did not believe in attempted murder. A Yautja either killed or didn't kill and there was no in between. No attempts. Just action with one result.

But using that same dispassionate manner that could penetrate the skepticism of even the most seasoned Doubting Thomas, he regaled me with the truth of a motive more sinister than I could ever have hoped to imagine. Not in a thousand years of quiet contemplation would I have come to the conclusion the Elders had come to, but I had the scar to prove them right and as V gravely noted, there was, in fact, a reason I was alive and awake right now.

It was inevitable that V would work toward informing me of the more sensitive details, perhaps sensing that I wasn't quite ready to hear them even if I assured him that I was. But despite my initial disbelief, to tell you that I went numb as my hearing registered his words and my mind understood the weight of their meaning would be a gross understatement. Being numb would have been a godsend. Listening to every word that escaped V's lips, hinged upon the meaning of each word preceding the last and bracing myself for each one that followed, I felt as if my physical body had died but my soul remained trapped in a state of conscious awareness within it.

Despite having been sure that His'tgar meant to kill me rather than have me raped, V explained that His'tgar's motive was only to injure and weaken me in an effort to make me an unsuitable match for Kal'ar. His'tgar believed that once he had eliminated me as a viable contender, Kal'ar would be forced to declare Dalani as his mate. Later, when the emotional upset of what had occurred settled, Kal'ar could be persuaded that I would have poisoned him and the future of the clan with my weakness; shifting Kal'ar's focus from growing and strengthening the clan to continually having to accommodate my weakness by protecting me. I was already poisoning him by luring him away from the language of his ancestors and disgracing him by seducing him into speaking mine.

In time Dalani would be able to convince Kal'ar that His'tgar had acted with honor by protecting his clan leader and ensuring the sustainability of his pups. With His'tgar's actions perceived as fealty, Dalani could successfully petition for His'tgar's return and reinstatement as Elder. His'tgar carefully weighed the risk my death would pose, fearing that without properly demonstrating his theory it would only serve to confirm Kal'ar's belief that I had been the appropriate choice from the beginning but had been spirited away before proving them wrong. At least that's what information they had gathered so far from the eta who had heard His'tgar's rumblings. Apparently the confession His'tgar had personally made to me was true. Turning me into a martyr had not been in the cards for me.

Sick denial would have me believe that His'tgar meant only to deepen the fissure of misbelief and mistrust humans had in a species they didn't understand. But as I said, the truth is dirty and if I thought then that I had had my fair share of it, I was covered head to toe in it now. It turns out that His'tgar didn't want to drive a wedge between my simple understanding and will to survive after all, but to completely sever the ties of eligibility that kept Kal'ar bound to me.

I recall how succinctly his words were executed, but how otherworldly they sounded at the time. I _'would not'_ bear Kal'ar's pups. I _'could not'_ bear his pups. Since the Elders couldn't convince Kal'ar that I was unworthy and sway him to choose Dalani, His'tgar took away my ability to produce offspring for the Yautja. For my own kind. It didn't matter. He hadn't wanted to kill me. His sole purpose had been to destroy and desecrate my womb, robbing me of the ability to usher in new life. Though considering or even conceptualizing bearing the young of a Yautja had never occurred before that fated night in the woods, His'tgar had stolen motherhood from me. It was the equivalent of what Kal'ar had done to His'tgar - snatching away what was precious to him and revered by those who had not attained it, only his calamity had the prospect of reversal. His disgrace could be pardoned, but my womb could never be reopened.

In spite of the deep physical injuries His'tgar had causd me, none of it had prepared me for the final blow I would receive. It came in the guise of sympathy, but I saw it for what it really was: rejection. Looking past the hollow shell of apologies and remorse, it was and would always be plain and simple rejection in its purest form.

"When can I face Dalani?"

The driving force behind my thirst for her blood was not the coquetry that Kal'ar enticed me with or the determination to prove to the Elders that I was a force to be reckoned with. No, my desire ran much deeper than those superficial motivators. I wanted her to suffer for what she had set in motion prior to my first encounter with His'tgar. In her relentless manipulation to rise to the top with a mate she little knew or respected she callously, indifferently destroyed what I had built with my own hands. I had worked hard and suffered greatly to uproot the preconceived notions I had after being thrown into an alien world and in one fell swoop she tore it all down. But worst of all is that she hadn't even used her own hands to do it.

"Exia." V rested his hand on mine. "You will not face Dalani."

"I am healed." I lowered my eyes to that hideous scar just in case he hadn't remembered. "His'tgar robbed me of something you, a machine, will never comprehend. I will not allow anyone to rob me of my vengeance."

"Exia, there will come a day for you to exact your revenge, but you will not face Dalani in 'dtai'k-dte'."

"Why the fuck not?" He had but precious seconds to explain himself before I tore out of the clinic like a bat from hell to get to her.

"Dtai'k-de is no longer neccessary, Exia. You do not understand the gravity of what I have been telling you for the last hour."

"I get it, V. You don't think I understand my fucking womb is _broken?"_

"Alright, Exia. I can see that you are in no frame of mind to piece together the residual effects this horrible crime committed against you. If you would rather I inform you plainly - "

"V!" I sat upright now, wanting nothing more than to smack him across his unsympathetic face, but I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't being difficult because it brought him pleasure. He was just a machine; his perfection limited only by the limitations of his makers.

"Your match with Dalani is no longer neccessary as you are no longer a contender for the position of Kal'ar's mate. As you are now incapable of bearing Kal'ar's pups you will not be considered as a potential mate. Kal'ar's duty as clan leader is to reproduce and ensure the succession of his line. As you cannot aid him in this endeavor Kal'ar must choose a mate that is able."

I don't know which pain was worse: His'tgar's blade or Kal'ar's rejection. But I had a sinking feeling that Kal'ar's pain would stick around much longer than the muscle memory of His'tgar's.

"If it is of any comfort to you, you should know that Kal'ar has disqaulified Dalani. The Elders speculate it was on account of her former relationship with His'tgar, but they will not move to validate their suspicions."

But it wasn't comforting. Dalani's heart had never been in winning Kal'ar. She would be just as content as an Elder's mate as she would a clan leader's. Now neither of us would have him and as infuriating as that was it was only half as infuriating that only one of us would be come out unscathed either way.

I slid my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. I took the pelt from the padded gurney and wrapped it around me like a towel, keeping my arms crossed to keep it in place. As my physical wounds had healed I no longer had a reason to remain in the clinic. V had told me all I needed to know and now it was time to return to the common room and wait for the decision as to what would be done with me now that I had lost the ability to perform my sole purpose in having been brought here.

"Exia?"

I put my hand on his shoulder and smiled weakly. I was sure that this would be among the last visits I would have with him.

"V...thank you for everything you did for me. I know you had to, but thanks for being there even when I didn't want you there. I wish you were human so that you could truly understand how grateful I am to have had you in my short time here." I leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. It might have been a strange gesture to anyone else watching, but I needed to say goodbye on my own terms. I needed that closure.

Despite his gentle recalls I left the clinic and headed toward the common room. I passed a few Yautja in the hallways but didn't meet their curious stares. I'm sure they would have loved to have seen the brokenness evident in my eyes, but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. I'm sure they all knew what had happened to me; curious but lacking that customary low rumble and subtle bristle when they passed by me, regarding me with sympathy now rather than mistrust.

Opening the door of the common room I slipped past the girls who had stopped mid-sentence and sat down on the sofa next to Ayida. Without a word she slid her arm around me and I leaned my head againt her shoulder. It was good to just sit here and breathe. Ayida understood my pain in ways V never would. At least to an extent. She had been a mother to both our kind and the Yautja, but she had lost one along the way. And so we both had lost life in one way or another. If Ayida could find peace after that then there had to be hope for me. At least that's what I would tell myself for now.


	12. Chapter 12 - Knave

**_I do not own the AVP universe and make no profit in writing this. I only own my characters._**

 ** _Tenfangirl: It was hard for me to do that to her, but I think we can all relate to having lost something/someone, made worse when it was completely out of our control. But the story is young and there is plenty that lies in between now and the end._**

 ** _Vivida: Yeah, he's a motherfucker. Plain and simple._**

 ** _FutureEnchantments: I really wanted to mimic how reality often unfolds. We have a goal, we get a little dismayed, we snap out of it and move forward, and then WHAM! Someone you least expect drives a knife in your back. But even though I can't stop people from getting off the hook in reality, I sure as hell can do it on the pages to follow :-)_**

 ** _JunogawaKing: I am so very glad you enjoyed this chapter...Hard to write it, could have written more, but I think in the end it defined the bend in the road she was bound to meet. And because you asked (for your sanity lol!) I spent the better part of last night and today just to get this chapter posted for you._**

 ** _write more soon: what can I say? You already know I look forward to seeing you review among the first in any chapter._**

 ** _DiamondDi: Thank you so much! It's my dream to publish, and I seriously have been writing for the last twenty years...so hopefully one day I'll be free of the 9-5 and dedicate myself to that dream. In the mean time, I'm glad to fill these pages with snippets of my mind. And I'm so glad that you consider my imagery as art. Like Exia, I'm floating on my own Cloud Nine on account of your kind words._**

 ** _ToxieDoxie: Many thanks! But I must know, which brother are you more partial to?_**

 ** _Tenjp: I know the feeling of a late night binge read and I'm thankful that you spent what was probably a good portion of your night of my story! And I promise, eventually she'll get what she wants...but not without hitting a few (okay, not few, but many) roadblocks along the way.  
_**

* * *

For days none of the girls said a word to me. Not a single word. Not even Ayida, although she hadn't left my side since I walked through the doors. Rose agreed to temporarily give up her secluded back room so that I could find respite from the rest of the girls who couldn't help but stare at me with unrestrained pity. I knew they cared, but I just wasn't ready to accept their sympathy. Because that would mean that I was broken and I was desperately clinging to the hope that I wasn't.

Whenever the girls headed out to have a meal in the assembly hall I would wait by the door to see Ayida off. For the better part of each day we were joined at the hip, but we both knew that at some point in the night she needed a change of scenery and I needed to face being alone with my thoughts again, even if only a short while.

But on this evening as I was getting ready to walk Ayida to the door, Gikvaris appeared in the doorway. My blood quickened and for a fleeting moment I considered retreating to the inner room that had become my sanctuary, but Gikvaris deserved more than that from me. Despite having been dehumanized, I was _still_ human.

I joined Gikvaris out in the hall, making sure to stay a safe distance away from door, far enough away so that no one could hear us but close enough to retreat if I started to unravel.

"Have come to see if Exia is ready to return to kehrite."

I sort of missed his sour tone, but I genuinely appreciated that he did not start our conversation by asking me how I felt, how I was coping, or if I had heard any of the details as far as my future was concerned. And I expected no less from him, either. He never gave credit to my inner turmoil because doing so would only validate and confirm it. And for that I was truly grateful.

"No," I said softly. "Wound is healed, but inside is still tender." I brought my hand to my abdomen, glad he could not see it beneath my covering.

"Will return when whole?"

 _When will I ever be whole?_

I nodded, but I wasn't sure if I ever would return to the place that have given me false hope. What was the point? I no longer had anyone to fight for.

"Gikvaris..."

We both turned, but as Gikvaris moved forward to greet Kch'lo I shrinked back againt the wall, turning my head away from them spoke to each other in their language, but I had since stopped following the intricacies of their language after I had left V behind in the clinic. I no longer had a desire to communicate with them on their terms. I was a human and for now, until I regained my confidence, I needed to stay true to my human self.

Gikvaris came back to me and I looked up at him as he offered a gentle nod. I wanted so badly to thank him for coming to see me - even if his visit had little to do with getting back to sparring and more with seeing with his own eyes how I had been faring, I appreciated his remembering I was still alive.

When he had disappeared down the hall Kch'lo stepped into Gikvaris' place in front of me. I didn't want to lift my eyes to his but not doing so would be immenseley disrespectful. I had learned the hard way what it meant to ignore the warning signs that had been posted in plain view for me and if His'tgar had been capable of doing what he had done to me, how much more Kch'lo in his undisputed power?

So I met his gaze to acknowledge him before quickly lowering my eyes again to the floor. Thinking that perhaps all he wanted was to regard me as he passed by, I slid as gracefully as possible against the wall toward the common room, but his arm slowly extended toward the wall and with his hand planted against it, kept me from going any further. I fought the nightmarish swell of panic as our position recalled to recent memory how His'tgar had pinned me against the wall, but to my relief he lowered his arm and stepped back.

"You needn't be afraid." His voice was firm, but void of command.

"Not afraid," I replied softly.

"Your body betrays you." He lifted my chin with his finger.

I had forgotten their sharp sense of smell and it drove me wild that no matter how deep I tried to bury my feelings they would always uncover them.

"Please forgive me. I don't know what I feel or think anymore." I wasn't lying this time. At any given moment I could feel a dozen different ways at once.

He removed his finger from underneath my chin. "Your eyes lack their former confidence."

Perhaps he thought it was an astute observation, but I thought it was just plain obvious. I wasn't what I used to be. Couldn't be. Though I was still alive a piece of me _had_ died that night in the lower level.

"Are you aware of the decisions that have been made concerning your placement?"

I shook my head. I hadn't the faintest idea, but I was sure he was moments away from cluing me in. And thank God for it. At least someone had the nerve to tell me.

"Do you wish to sit and speak?"

I imagine my feeble position against the wall had not escaped his notice, but I didn't want to be alone with him. I shook my head.

"You have been requisitioned into my care."

He watched for any subtle indication of emotion, but there was no way for him to detect that his statement had effectively shattered any lingering hope of being reconciled to Kal'ar. Perhaps if I had not expected to hear the news my sorrow would be an overwhelming nuisance to his scent glands, but I had prepared myself for this very moment. Even V had tried to convey its possibility to me. And though I still dared to hope that Kal'ar might make amends with my ominous condition, Kch'lo plainly confirmed that any hope of reviving the promising future I envisioned with Kal'ar was a disenchanted fantasy inherent only in humans.

"And so how will this work? I come see you or you come see me?" I was struggling to keep contempt from seeping into my tone.

Kch'lo trilled, shifting his weight to one side. "You have been with the oomans long enough. Now you will join me in my quarters."

The thought of being torn away from Ayida sent me into a frenzy. "No!" I straightened my body and locked my eyes on his. "No! You can't do this! You can't!"

Kch'lo tilted his head. "Can't?"

 _Oh God._

"No...I...I didn't mean it like that..." I slumped against the wall. If I had a tail to tuck between my legs I would have promptly tucked it.

"You do not know me yet, Exia, but in time you will learn that I keep what belongs to me very close."

"You don't need to watch me. Not after they put that thing inside of my head."

"Gkinmara?" He clicked his lower tusks. "Has been removed."

"What?" My hand immediately went to the back of my head, searching for a fresh incision.

"After Vik'var'is confirmed the scarring in your uterus rendered you infertile Kal'ar sought to convert your status as his mate to that of his pet. Gikvaris intervened on your behalf, going to extreme lengths to convince Kal'ar that this would be a most dishonorable position for you; a permanent reminder of His'tgar's treachery. The decision was then made to absolve you of your obligation and turn you into the care of another." Kch'lo placed his hand on my own still covering the back of my neck, ignoring a reactive flinch. "After Vik'var'is successfully stabilized your condition I ordered him to remove the gkinmara."

I slipped my hand from underneath his. "But why?" My voice was as brittle as my heart.

He withdrew his hand and towered before me again. "I operate on what your kind would call the 'honor system'. There are those who have foolishly tested the extent of my willingness to pursue them, but if not naturally inclined to remain close at first...it is through careful enlightenment that one finds it in their best interest to remain close."

Unlike with V, I didn't need him to spell it out for me. The message, or rather warning, was well received.

"You may remain in the common room tonight, but it will be the last."

I nodded, trying desperately to breathe the air that had become too thick to swallow. My eyes began to flutter in that terrible way before the resevoir containing an onslaught of tears collapsed.

He curled his finger once more under my quivering chin and brought my eyes to his, regarding a brimming layer of upset. "The world you built and misguidedly entrusted to others may have been laid to waste, but you must trust that I will build you an even greater one again."

As soon as he withdrew and passed from sight in the hallway I clawed my way along the wall back the common room and focusesd pushing through a near-blinding swell of emotional turmoil to make it to my room. My body was at war with my mind; one yearning to yield to the irrisistable draw of prostration and the security it would provide and another trying desperately to spark the flame of courage to break my invisible chains. I had to see Kal'ar again. I had to tell him that I was wrong and that I _could_ live at his side without the honor of being his exclusive mate.

* * *

Ayida and I had been arguing for the better part of the evening in my room until it spilled out into the main common room. She was furious that I had made the decision to defy Kch'lo's command that I leave the common room and take up residence in his quarters. She was angry and accused me of flirting with disaster, but she didn't understand that if I went without protest, Kal'ar would consider my compliance as betrayal. I wanted him to know that he was still the only Yautja I wanted. And even if I couldn't tell him to his face yet, I would make sure he knew it by my actions. Because again, words were overrated to a Yautja.

"Exia!" Ayida put herself between me and the sofa I was getting ready to plop down on. "This isn't Kal'ar we're talking about! Kal'ar hasn't lived long enough to be affected by the callousness of age. Kal'ar still has the passionate nobility of his youth, but Kch'lo...Have you forgotten that the Elders considered you to be of little value? Does it escape you that they will _not_ issue His'tgar's execution for what he did to you? Kch'lo was an Elder once...Do you think he would have been chosen if he did not share their beliefs and views? The same low view of humans? Of you?"

I really wanted Ayida to calm down. Her belly was swollen with pregnancy and the last thing she needed was an onset of mock contractions on account of me, but I just wanted her to understand me. She had always understood me before. Why couldn't she this time?

"Wake up, Exia! Kal'ar isn't go to intervene and protect you from Kch'lo's fury. You belong to Kch'lo now."

I glared at her furiously. _How could she?!_

"It's time for you to make the best of what you've been given. Do you think if I had a choice between a handful or mates or just one that I would not have chosen having one? But I didn't have a choice, Exia, and neither do you!"

"Ayida!" I snapped. Ignoring the horrified stares of the other girls I focused on _making_ Ayida understand. "You just want me to give up? Just like that? Weren't you the one who told me to stop complaining and 'plop myself down' next to Kal'ar and just tell him how I felt? To stop letting Dalani get to me and just focus on what _I_ needed to do to to make sure Kal'ar knew I would do anything to have him?"

Ayida winced, confirmation that I had effectively rebutted the hypocracy of her argument. I nodded proudly.

"Exia..." Ayida's expression was plastered in sorrow. "That was then...Before His'tgar destroyed the very reason you fought so hard to..." She stopped, considerate not to reopen freshly healed wounds concerning the state of my degredation. "You have a chance to salvage what life His'tgar left you. It may not be the life you wanted or fought so hard to gain, but it _is_ life, Exia. And if nothing else you are standing in a room full of women that will never judge you or hurt you or let you suffer alone."

Even if I didn't want her to, she leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on my cheek. She took the hand that I had bawled into a fist at my side and squeezed it reassuringly, imploring me with her eyes to look around the room at the girls who nodded in unison to confirm Ayida's declaration.

"You are not alone, Exia. And I won't let you leave now alone, either." She tugged at me until finally my ironclad will diffused and I stepped forward, allowing her to guide me toward the door.

Each of the girls gave me a hug and a slew of kisses on my head before Ayida nudged me out of the room. She held my hand as we walked down the hallway, looking over at me every so often to make sure I was still holding my shit together. It was the hardest path my feet had ever travelled or surely ever would, but having Ayida next to me lessened the fear with each new step I took. And though she would be parted from me for a time I knew where I could always find her. And all those times Ayida convinced me it was good for her to stretch her legs and for me to find a way to deal with the chaos of my own thoughts in private, I realized that Ayida had been preparing me for this very moment. She must have known all along that eventually the undercurrent of Yautja politics would pull us apart and she didn't want me to face the tragedy of my loss unprepared.

I waited by the door while Ayida went inside the council chamber, keeping a healthy distance from the two Yautja guards that stood like two parallel columns. With the door open, I could hear the low chatter of Elders, but the din was void of Kal'ar's authoritative voice. His'tgar had loosened the chain that bound Kal'ar to me, but wherever Kal'ar was now, I was at least grateful he would not have to bear witness to the complete severing of our bond. I wasn't sure which would affect me more: seeing in his eyes an irrepairable sorrow I could not soothe or complete indifference to that in mine.

Ayida returned and joined me in the hallway but was soon followed by Kch'lo. He waited patiently as Ayida enveloped me in her arms, running her hand alongside my back before I gently recoiled, sure that if I had waited a second longer Kch'lo would have to pry her off of me to get me to go with him.

When Kch'lo turned I followed him without protest. I followed him down a winding maze of hallways and corridors, further than I had ever been before, walking the length of the ship until we reached his quarters. When the door opened he stepped aside so that I could enter first. Reluctant to do so, it only took a fleeting rumble to convince my feet to move forward.

Too late to turn back now with the door closed behind us, I stepped forward and stood in the center of the room. The lights were low and lacking that pale blue filter that deceived my mind into thinking my body was cold; reminding me of the wintery cold that filled me whenever I saw blue lights during the holidays. The room was a pleasant break in the sterility and overwhelming spaciousness of my previous room and Kal'ar's. There was a large holographic map table to my left and on the wall to my right rows of shelves that ran from the floor to the ceiling encumbered by cartridges I imagined contained vasts amounts of data. I guess it would be rather foolish of me at this point to assume the Yautja would have a need for books littered with theories and opinions when irrefutable knowledge of the universe could be captured and catalogued by a technology humans would never even have a glimpse of.

He moved further into a succession of smaller areas and keeping a short distance between us I followed him. When I saw the bed I realized to my horror that we were standing in his sleeping quarters. But rather than lead me over to the bed he motioned for me to follow him off to the right. He pushed open a door I hadn't noticed etched into the wall and again, with my heartbeat steadily increasing, I followed him. It was a seperate room that had a complete view of the vast universe the ship slowly careened through.

Only ever having a view of a black ocean that seemed to stretch out infinitely, when I saw a large orb that I soon realized was a planet, painted in a fluidic array of blue and yellow I stepped forward and placed my hand against the thick glass as if to touch it. I felt like a child seeing the moon for the first time; lifting my hand toward a sky of black velvet in the hopes of touching the alluring silver bands that stroked its gray visage. There was life beyond the limited space I thought I knew before this moment and it was both terrifying and astounding that I had lived to see it and that there were so many that never would.

I had completely forgotten Kch'lo until his hand touched my arm. With a gasp I was torn out of the awestruck wonder that had captivated my full attention. He gestured toward the low, kidney bean shaped sofa behind us. I sat down and when I looked up at him he was holding a metal goblet that he soon extended toward me. I took it carefully and inspected its contents, confused why he would offer me c'nlip. As dire as I considered my situation to be, which normally would have warranted leaping at the opportunity to dull my rising nerves, I wanted to be fully alert in this moment. I wanted nothing to escape me; not a word, not a movement, not a sound.

My hesistation visible, Kch'lo sat down beside me. "Is better for you," he said, watching every quickening breath that escaped my lips.

I shook my head as politely as possible. "I don't like who I am when I drink this. I don't like what it does to me."

Kch'lo trilled, brushing aside his cloak that had spilled down over his shoulder. "Is pure. Not the watered down c'nlip they serve oomans."

 _If what I had been drinking was watered down, what the hell would I be capable of with this stuff coursing through my veins?_

But no amount of reservation would sway him. I brought the rim of the goblet to my lips and tipped it forward, my tongue not affronted by the underlying bittnerness of the c'nlip I was accustomed to drinking, but regaled with an amiable tart infused with the mild sweetness of honey. It lacked the usual caustic burn against my throat and instead trickled down with a gentle warmth that soon after began to radiate outwardly into my limbs. By the time I had emptied the last drop into my mouth the mounting apprehension I felt sitting beside Kch'lo evaporated without a trace.

Kch'lo took my hand and pulled me onto my feet. My body strangely malleable, it willingly complied with his movement and followed without reservation the direction he lead me in. But even if my body betrayed me my mind was still fully alert and aware of everything taking place. It may have succesfully dulled all of my physical senses, but it certainly hadn't clouded my mind with the haze of intoxication.

He led me over to the foot of the bed and turned to face me. I watched him carefully, inwardly bracing against even the slightest movement. I knew what he wanted and he didn't move to dispel my unspoken assumption. But I couldn't do this. I couldn't give what in my heart I had already given to his brother.

"Do you trust that I know what is best for you?"

His words penetrated the inward chaos of my thoughts and I became paralyzed, aware that I was standing at a crossroad where one of two words would determine the nature of our liaison. I had operated in the truth long enough to know that sometimes the truth set in motion circumstances that would have been better served with a lie. And so I nodded because I didn't want to enter into this new existence having to outwardly prove that I did trust him. I had grown weary of trying to prove myself to anyone.

But Kch'lo would teach me right now that I didn't have his permission to sidestep the evidence of my affirmation. I followed the drop of his eyes to my covering and had enough sense to discern that as his hands were still resting at his sides he wasn't going to remove it for me. I lifted my arms and grabbed the cords knotted at the back of my neck, tugging at them until at last they seperated and slipped down across my chest. But even then it hadn't been enough. He didn't bristle or react in any way that would indicate displeasure in having fallen short in proving I trusted him, but his silent gaze was enough to know that he was patiently waiting for me to.

If the c'nlip hadn't desensitized my nerves my hands would have been trembling by now as I withdrew my hands and allowed my covering to fall to my feet. I was holding it together until I looked down and saw the scar that silently mocked me. I covered it with my hands, ashamed of its poignant implications.

Kch'lo reached out and curled his fingers around my hands before removing them and replacing them with his own. He traced the hideous scar with his fingers, lifting his eyes to mine momentarily as if to reassure me that he did not view my scar with abhorration as I did. I faltered under the weight of his admiration, unsure if his pleasure was derrived from my affliction or perhaps what he mistakenly perceived as triumph.

He slid one hand behind my back and spun me around. His hand still pressed against my abdomen he pulled me against his body, lowering his tusk to my shoulder and grazing it lightly. I thought my body would tense and stiffen against him, but it remained pliable and without remonstration.

He gently pressed against my back to bend me forward and I lifted my knees to crawl onto the bed. I moved forward to the center of the bed but he planted his hands on my hips and inched me back toward him. He slid his hand along my back and gently pushed my head down against the soft pelts. My body instinctively dipped down and he parted my legs to accommodate his position. I turned my face toward the door on the right and kept my eyes on the blue planet that grew smaller and smaller the further we drifted from it. I numbly focused my attention on what lay outside of this room in that hopes that the loss of the only gift I had lived my life with the intention of giving freely would pass by as surreally as a dream.

Though not fully, when Kch'lo inserted himself into me I closed my eyes to brace against the intense pain that was sure to accompany his full thrust. But instead of pain I only felt an intense, growing pressure. I withdrew my hand from above my head and slipped it between my legs and met his thigh, confirming that he had now fully entered me. He remained still for a great while before he slowly began to rock back and forth, my hips, pinioned beneath his hands, involuntarily swaying to meet his rhythmic movement.

Though I couldn't feel it, I imagined he had successfully pushed through the folds of tightness because his pace quickened and I lost the rhythmic pattern that had been meeting his steady stride. His hands tightened around my hips, his fingers digging into my flesh though without the sting, and I lifted my upper body slightly to support myself against the bed, anchoring myself against his growing appetite.

Feeling no pleasure, I numbly rode the intensifying waves with my head lowered just above the bed. I kept my elbows and arms flat to brace against his forceful thrusts, but suddenly his arms wrapped around my stomach and pulled me up and against him. One arm wound tightly around my waist and the other across my chest, I felt him quiver behind me. His thick, ornamented hair spilled down over my shoulders as he brought his mouth to the side of my neck. I felt a heavy impression against my neck before the tingling sensation of something wet trailed down over my chest. Either he had sunk his teeth into my skin or had been too careless with his tusk, but I lost focus as soon as I felt a swell of warmth fill me. He jerked forward a final time before his chest moved away from my back. That warm sensation inside dissipated and moved down between my legs. Knowing that he had finished I crept forward and laid down on my side.

Though I didn't look directly at him I saw him tying a loincloth around his waist out of the corner of my eye. I lifted my head and met his dispassionate gaze.

"You are leaving?" Not that I wanted him to curl up beside me in the bed, but I at least thought he might say or do something instead of leaving me to feel so empty and used.

"Sei-i. Will be back later." He turned his head and I followed his attention to an open door. Though the rooms were dimly lit there was enough light to see that familiar recessed tub. "When you are ready."

"And you...You will not?" My eyes lowered to his glistening thighs.

"H'ko."

I was fucking livid and if my body hadn't been immobilized by his uncut c'nlip I would have thrown him into that tub, tiny human or not.

"While you should be at my side to flaunt the consummation of our mating and to effectively demonstrate to the clan my claim on you, I will not add to your perceived shame. In time you will wear your scar with honor. In time you will wear my n'dui'se with honor. But for now I will wear it with honor for the both of us."

He turned to leave and as soon as he was gone I fell back against the bed, angrily bunching the pelts in my fists and fighting the urge to scream. It should not have been Kch'lo parading through the halls with the scent of his victory permeating the air. It should have been Kal'ar. And with Kch'lo making a show of our union to the entire clan, Kal'ar wouldn't need to see the mixture of fluid between my thighs to feel the sting of my betrayal.


	13. Chapter 13 - Preserve

**_JunogawaKing: Answers are coming, its just a slow (albeit purposeful) build. The undercurrent here is that Yautja males and females rarely ever paired for life. Mating was to produce offspring. Throw humans into the mix and you've got a break from tradition. But in the end, its still all about reproduction. So to everyone else, Kal'ar not doing shit about anything is cut and dry: infertile mate = no pups. But he's not totally a dick. There's always a calm before a storm._**

 ** _Guest: Hope you're seeing this and know I'm replying to you - thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed! Hope you enjoy the next (and those to follow)_**

 ** _Sunstreaker's Squishy: I am glad you have enjoyed so far. Terribly frustrating when you find a story that goes cold...and its been like 2 years since an update. Def don't plan on doing that! Kch'lo...he's got angles. But I wont comment if they are sinister or noble. We're gonna have to let that mystery unfold._**

 ** _Tissues: Seriously warms my heart that you read & commented. I mean it. If that's not the norm for you, THANK YOU for doing it for me. I promise, Exia will get her day with Dalani. And as for His'tgar...he's getting his. As for declaring His'tgar a bad blood and hunting him down, Exia only gets limited information from V now. She doesnt know whats going on in the background. and keep in mind, its someones job to hunt a bad blood. Someone specific :-) Thank you again! _**

**_ToxieDoxie: Enter Chapter 13 where you'll have an insight (or rather clarification since you called it anyway) as to Kch'lo's motives behind their first coupling. And even if she cant build anymore in her relationship with Kal'ar, she's got a lot to build for herself._**

 ** _FutureEnchantments: I think it might have been too quick for some readers, but I wanted them to know that he means what he says. He wasn't going to wait. Thank you for enjoying!_**

 ** _Peachdreams26: I did pm you, and hope you are doing better! I think I've been doing pretty good on updating and I dont plan on slacking, so I hope_ _that helps your recovery! Thank you for the review!_**

 ** _Tenjp: As much as I want to give Kal'ar the freedom to do whatever he wants, I have to remember that as a clan leader, he's got expectations to meet. I promise to bridge the gap of why Kal'ar didnt immediately go to her in due time. As I have to keep this first person, there's a lot going on in the background that will have to wait until the opportune chapter. :-)_**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own rights to the AVP universe and make no profit writing this story. I only own my characters, some of them I love, some I do not.**

* * *

At any time Kch'lo could have asserted his undisputed dominance over me to demonstrate who really had the upper hand on account of the childish way I had been acting. And all the while he could have done it without the numbing effect of his pure c'nlip just so I'd get the message. But he didn't even when he probably should have. I knew I was being a jerk; refusing the look at him, speak to him, eat with him, sleep next to him. On the second night, the night after he solidified his claim on me, I looked him straight in the eyes before marching my ass out onto the sofa. I would have done it the first night if I had been aware of when he had returned from regaling the nostrils of his hunt brothers with the scent of my blood and the exchange of our bodily secretions. But I hadn't and so I couldn't. But on the second night, feeling as though I had sent him a pretty clear message, you can imagine my wide surprise when he scooped me up in his arms, ignoring my feeble attemps to break free from him, and dropped me down onto his bed. And then followed up with a deep growl to keep me there.

Slighting him, I turned my back to him. I purposely stayed awake for hours until I was sure he was sleeping before I slowly slid my legs off of the bed. Just when I thought I was in the clear his hand clapped around my wrist and yanked me back down next to him. And then I learned that a Yautja really never sleeps. They rest and recuperate expended energy, but they are always consciously aware of what is happening around them. Yeah, as if a Yautja wide awake wasn't already intimidating, having a built-in, sleep defense mechanism sure took the cake. So in the end the only one who lost was me and I had wasted precious hours thinking I could beat him at his own game.

When it was time to wake up I refused to move from the bed. At first he regarded me with a hint of irritation, perhaps as if I was openly challenging him, but then his staunch demeanor softened and he let out a high trill before leaving the room. I thought for sure that after having been left alone for hours he would send an eta with something to eat, but that never happened. Evening came and went and when he finally returned I got the distinct impression that the kitchen was closed. And my ire only brought him more amusement. I had, after all, done this to myself.

He didn't demand that I be happy about my situation. He didn't require me to treat him as I had once treated Kal'ar. In fact, he never ordered me to do anything other than remain close to him. He tolerated my silence, the haughty glares, the upturn of my shoulder, but he made it perfectly clear that he would not tolerate any deviation from the only requirement he had: to remain close to him each and every night.

I didn't know why until I received a visit from V. It was a bittersweet reunion because he reminded me of why I had the pleasure of his company in the first place and then subsequently lost it, but nonetheless I greeted him warmly with no trace of the subtle pain our reunion caused me. After a brief bout of small talk we wound up discussing my current predicament. With Kch'lo gone I had no qualms hurling my complaints at V. And V, perfectly equipped to remain unaffectd by my harsh tone and slew of expletives, waited for me to get it all out before providing me insight into Kch'lo's behavior.

Having to first get past V's nonchalent way of making it sound like this was common knowledge and I ought to be aware of these things by now, I learned that Kch'lo had bestowed a 'great mercy' on me during our first night. Yautja breeding was rough. There was no getting past that. They bled, we bled, and one of us was bound to walk away with bruises evidencing our passionate coupling. During the first breeding, the amount of aggression a Yautja displayed would set the tone in establishing the pecking order, so to speak. What Kch'lo had done for me spoke volumes of his age - V's words, not mine. Kch'lo could have unleashed what I was sure was a limtless supply of aggression in order to establish who was the more dominant, but he didn't and V speculated on several reasons why.

First was on account of my physical condition. The wound had healed and only a scar remained, but inside where scar tissue continued to build itself around the perforation of deep muscle and tissue, I was still tender. He was consciously aware that long after inwardly healing I would still feel the sting of His'tgar's blade deep within the memory of my muscles. And as I was already aware, Kch'lo knew that I had not been touched before. Sure he knew Kal'ar had toyed with me, but none, human or Yautja, had actually deflowered me.

 _Deflower? More like decimate._

And yes, the next morning when I got out of the bed and stood up my inner thighs were coated in the penetration of my purity. But I hadn't felt the sting of it as I should have. I hadn't ached for him to fill me the way I ached for Kal'ar and I'm sure he was aware of as much, but even though he could have made it painful and messy, leaving me with the trauma of a night I would never forget, he didn't. He didn't call me 'beautiful' or any of the endearing terms Kal'ar had used to effectively communicate his desire to take care of me, so Kch'lo didn't have to be gentle or even mindful of my many reservations. He let me off easy.

Which again, V reminded me, attested to the levelheadedness and wisdom a Yautja gained only through age. Kch'lo knew what he could do and that he had an undisputed right to do it, but he didn't because he didn't need to prove his dominance over me. He knew he had it. And he was aware that I knew he had it also. It's what made him an Elder and then an Arbitrator in the first place. He had spent centuries proving his ability and worth and now he could rest knowing that without so much as a growl he could send a Yautja with a hankering to make a name for himself scurrying in the opposite direction.

And then V got into why Kch'lo refused to allow me to sleep anywhere other than his bed. He had, in Kch'lo's own words, effectively staked his claim on me, but there was more to our first coupling than met the eye. First, I hadn't strutted around with his fluid caked between my legs to allow the other males, especially those in or close to rutting, to smell and see Kch'lo's mark upon me. It would be a strong repellent to them and they would associate my face with Kch'lo's scent. It was an integral part of the breeding process and Kch'lo again let me off the hook easy. Maybe he did so because he knew I wasn't mentally ready to sever the ties still holding me to the past. To Kal'ar. Or maybe I would never learn of the real reason. But regardless, he did it _for_ me and in an effort to continue asserting a strong claim to me he needed to be near to me to continue imbuing his hide with my scent. He would continue doing so until I finally accepted my position and 'wore his scent with honor' instead of regarding what he was doing to be the human equivalent of the 'walk of shame'. Having had enough of my antics, he could have taken me again and then dragged me through the halls to make his point, but Kch'lo had warned me what seemed like a lifetime ago now: he had an infinite amount of patience.

And finally, though it was a blow to my pride, V told me that I had ought to be grateful Kch'lo chose me instead of passing me on to another. I was broken. The best existence I could hope for was being permitted to be another's pet. And being a pet wasn't all it was cracked up to be, apparently. Pets were considered living trophies, so if a Yautja who claimed me decided he wasn't interested in making me his sex slave I'd be tucked away inside the confines of his quarters to be looked upon and admired as often as the skulls in his trophy room. It would be a bleak existence. So in essence, Kch'lo saved me from either living among bones or the insatiable lust of a newly Blooded Yautja. V gently reminded me that with my own eyes I had witnessed thirty-something Yautja enter into that coveted position that permitted them to take a human mate and begin establishing - with 'great fervency' - their line. And though he may never be what Kal'ar had been to me, I ought to be thanking my lucky stars a Yautja with more clout than any other Yautja on this ship - and arguably even Kal'ar since at present Kal'ar had no pups to succeed him while Kch'lo had a slew of them - had chosen me in spite of my weakened condition. And it wasn't like he needed the extra aggravation. I was sure he had enough merely by being the intersessor and mediator to a species that listened little to reason.

And it made sense back when Kch'lo had told me that if I lost to Dalani - back before he knew Kal'ar had promised I was his, win or lose - he wouldn't make the mistake his brother had made in waiting. Any female without the scent of a mate was fair game. Yeah, I couldn't give them those coveted pups, but I had seen the way Shunlau practically dragged Ayida from the common room despite her already being pregnant. They were males. Need I say more? So in other words, if I knew what was good for me I wouldn't fight so damn hard to get away from him in bed. And if I _really_ knew what was good for me I'd just let him have another go at me and then go and find as many Yautja males as I could to assault them with Kch'lo's scent. But I didn't know what was good for me because I was human and prone to doubting and even more prone to daring to hope for the impossible.

That evening when Kch'lo settled down into the bed I didn't make such a fuss in joining him. I wasn't thrilled. He wasn't Kal'ar. But I understood now why he had asked me if I trusted that he knew what was best for me. And with all the reasons for his behavior boiled down it didn't take a genius to understand that Kch'lo would always know infinitely more about his own kind than me or Ayida or even V could ever hope to imagine. Even if I perceived that what he was doing was gloating in the face of my failure, he didn't just put another notch on his belt and then throw me back into the common room. I got the feeling that when he said what belonged to him tended to stay close it was because after the initial resistance, one would soon learn the safest place to be was with a Yautja that knew his shit. And the more I thought about it, I can't lie...in a sick, twisted way - aside from making a huge statement - donning my body fluids like a badge of honor was pretty damn racy. I couldn't think of any men I had known in my prior life that would have after having had a romp in the sack stroll down the street practically naked just so every other male within a five mile radius would smell his woman's secretions of pleasure all over him and instantly know to Stay. The. Fuck. Away. from her.

But the past came back to swallow me up the moment I thought about that very truth. Kal'ar would have done the same. I'm not entirely sure he wouldn't have sealed the deal before I even had a chance to step out of the arena after whooping Dalani's ass. And I wouldn't have allowed him to numb me with a secret stash of uncut c'nlip. I would have wanted to feel the searing pain of every thrust and then after our energy had been expended let him heal my wounds. Or just wear them with honor like the Yautja wore their scars. But Dalani had stolen that from me. I know His'tgar had physically ripped that dream from my body, but Dalani had been the driving force behind his hatred of me. Now I would never know what it felt like to bring life into the world. I would never be able to honor my mate with the fruit of my womb because my womb was broken. The expression of never knowing what you have until its gone might be fitting if I had an iota of suspicion that what His'tgar had done to me was even possible before he actually done it. Had I known it was possible (because really, who thinks that shit is even on the radar?) I would have tied Kal'ar up and taken him without a single thought as to what would happen to me for tying up a clan leader. Or raping him. I know he would have enjoyed it, but I _really_ would have done that and more just to experience birth at least once before the ability to do it was snuffed out.

I hadn't realized I had been crying until Kch'lo propped himself up beside me and brushed away the tears running down my face I hadn't even noticed. I didn't hide my eyes from him. I was rather hoping he would imbue me with his great knowledge and wisdom as to how to uproot the bitterness that had firmly planted itself into every fiber of my being.

He watched me carefully but said nothing, waiting until I was ready to speak. I suspect that even if I decided to remain silent he would have waited until he was sure I wouldn't change my mind. I took his hand and brought it down to my abdomen. In doing so I just broke out into a torrent of sobbing, his hand riding the wave of my convulsing body in the wake of my absolute fucking misery. I wanted Dalani to suffer the same pain, but it wouldn't change the fact that Kal'ar had abandoned me to my own. I cried a long time beside him, curling forward just below his chest. When my body finally went still and my chest ceaced its violent spasming from lack of air, I looked up at him again. I wanted him to know what I had tried to bury inside me but failed to keep there.

"I doubt it would have changed the outcome, but I wanted Kal'ar to kill him. I wanted Kal'ar to _want_ to kill him. But he didn't." Pushing through another urge to weep uncontrollably, I continued. "And Dalani...How did she suffer? She may have lost Kal'ar on account of her suspicious dealings, but she sure as hell didn't lose the only thing that made her valuable to any of the Yautja she had set her sights on. His'tgar keeps his life. Dalani keeps her life. And I get to keep my life, only it's just a shadow of what it was and all it could have been."

Kch'lo brushed away one of the thick dreads that had fallen down over his shoulder. "Would their deaths attone for your suffering?"

His tone was so plain that I didn't know if he thought I was being ridiculous or if he genuinely wanted to know. But there no death appropriate for The Bitch. In fact, death would be too gentle a punishment and anything that did not cause her an excruciting amount of endless pain was a mercy she didn't deserve.

"I want His'tgar dead, but Dalani...I want her to suffer every day for the rest of her goddamn fucking life." I turned over and stared out into the black void beyond the window of my prison.

Kch'lo slid his arm around me and brought his head against my back between my shoulders and emitted a soft purr. In spite of my determination to resist any attempt to quell my anger while I devised a scheme to make Dalani pay for her crimes for the rest of her life, the gentle hum reverberating throughout my body turned the darkness I had been furisouly staring out at become the darkness of my own dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Tiny ooman has rested long enough." Gikvaris refused to accept the many excuses I sputtered from behind a door I would not fully open.

"Gikvaris, I appreciate your pity, but I don't need to train anymore."

Gikvaris tilted his head. "You have defeated your opponent? Where is her skull? Show it to me."

I rolled my eyes. "Gikvaris, you know damn well I didn't kill Dalani. I want to, but that's not what I meant. I don't need to train because I have no reason to fight anymore and - "

"So it is as the Elders have said then: you are weak." Gikvaris narrowed his eyes. I'd never seen him angry, not even when my knife drew his fluorescent green blood.

"I - "

"I did not train you so that you could lure a Yautja into your bed. I trained you so that you could defeat your enemy and prove to yourself that you are a worthy opponent. Not for Elders. Not for Kal'ar. For Exia."

God his words cut deep.

"I asked, Gikvaris. They won't let me fight her."

"A warrior does not ask. A warrior takes."

"Oh, so just go tap her on the shoulder and tell her I want to fight?"

Gikvaris clicked his mandibles, then opened the door to see me fully. His hand shot forward against my shoulder and shoved me back.

"What the hell?!"

"Not tap. Shove." Gikvaris trilled.

"Okay, then...Lead the way." I stepped forward but he blocked me.

"You trained for dtai'k-dte, not for jehdin-jehdin."

"Wasn't allowed to hurt or kill what belonged to Kal'ar, remember?"

Ignoring my sarcasm, he replied: "Ooman Dalani does not belong to Kal'ar now."

 _Well I'll be damned, he had a point._

"Exia belongs to Kch'lo. Ooman Dalani belongs to Suharek." He let out a low trill. "Do you know who Suharek is?"

I shook my head, but I imagined he was an Elder.

"When you challenge ooman Dalani he will not interfere."

Not 'if'. _When_. Gikvaris wasn't giving me a choice to let her off the hook. If only he knew the depths I would sink to drag her down and drown her in my misery.

"And why not?"

"Pup will not cross Sire."

I let that sink in for a minute, feeling nothing but pure elation the moment I realized I had wound up in the clutches of a Yautja with a slew of pups, one who seemed to be in the right place at the right time. Revenge was coming full circle.

"Now go wash."

"What? Why?"

"Your scent offends me."

I scoffed. "It wasn't like I had a choice. Isn't that the whole point of mating?"

"Not n'dui'se. Defeat. Now go."

I sighed wearily. "Can I eat first?"

"H'ko!" he barked.

"Damn, Gikvaris...I'm hungry."

He shot me another serious glare that meant I had better stop talking and start washing.

"Hunger will force tiny ooman to hunt better."

My eyes widened. Could I dare to hope? "We...We are going to preserve?"

"Sei-i."

I nodded before slamming the door shut and running to the washroom.

* * *

I followed Gikvaris toward the loading dock to his scout ship. Gikvaris engaged the eta loading metal crates onto the ship, briefly pausing to regard another who was performing a series of scans on the ship's exterior. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest at the fact that we were actually leaving. We were getting off of this ship and going to solid ground. After feeling like I had been trapped in an Alaskan mindnight sun, I could barely contain my excitement to feel sunlight on my skin again. An actual sun. Like that blazing orb that had given me my fair share of sunburn throughout the years that I had taken for granted.

"Gikvaris?" I touched his arm lightly. "I forgot my suit."

"H'ko. On ship." He turned back to the eta before moving away from me and making his own visible scan of the ship.

I waited anxiously for Gikvaris to finish, pacing back and forth to keep myself from exploding from anticipation. After an enternity of checking, double checking, then tripple checking the ship Gikvaris let out huff to get my attention. He was ready to go now.

As I scaled the platform I heard Gikvaris' name barked out behind me. The voice cut through my budding elation and crippled me from taking another step forward.

I took a deep breath and turned just as Gikvaris brushed by me. Seeing Kal'ar with two Elders at his side sent my stomach into my throat.

Kal'ar and Gikvaris engaged each other, appearing to be arguing. Every so often Kal'ar would look over Gikvaris' shoulder at me, but before my face could even respond with an expression his eyes were back on Gikvaris.

From the little I could gather from their steadily rising voices, Kal'ar was questioning Gikvaris' authority to take me from the clanship. Gikvaris was adamant that he had obtained Kch'lo's permission, but understandably, Kch'lo was not present to confirm it. Right after scrubbing my body of that odious scent of 'defeat' and found Gikvaris in the kehrite, I had questioned Gikvaris on this same issue. Several nights before Gikvaris had knocked on the door to deliver what I imagined would be the happiest news I would ever receive while on this ship, I woke up and the bed was empty. I waited hours for Kch'lo to return, but he never did. I managed to get the attention of an eta down the hall who informed me that Kch'lo had left the clanship. His reason? The eta didn't know. But I was terribly disappointed - then _really_ angry - that Kch'lo had left without a word. As if I would know what to do with myself.

And then Gikvaris turned away from Kal'ar, his bristling evidence of his irritation. After he tore by me I meekly brought my eyes to Kal'ar's. His glaring softened, but it was remiss of the affection that still plagued my longing memories. And then he turned.

My heart would have broken if it wasn't already.

But Gikvaris was calling me. Barking at me. I was only torturing myself by reminiscing on what had been and what could never be again. But at least it added to my purpose in focusing on what Gikvaris was going to teach me. And then I would remember that look Kal'ar had just given me when I drove my blade into Dalani as violently as His'tgar had driven his.

* * *

Not in a position to use the drop pods, Gikvaris switched from autopilot to manual and landed the ship on even terrain. Though I had wanted to put my suit on the moment Gikvaris said we were approaching the preserve, Gikvaris warned me that doing so would be very unwise until after breaching the preserve's atmosphere. I hadn't listened, slinking off to find my suit which was in one of those metal crates the eta had loaded onto the ship. As I positioned my leg to step into it the ship shuddered before making a violent jerk. Gikvaris let out a high trill when I staggered back into the cockpit holding the side of my face that had first hit the floor before smacking against the wall. He had warned me. And it the tables were turned, I would have laughed, too. At least inside my head.

After closing the heavy drop door behind us Gikvaris put on his bio-mask and entered a series of codes into his wrist gauntlet. Before I could even ask he explained that the last time he had been to this preserve several winged creatures, 'siztkal', had affixed themselves to the hull and began gnawing away at it. Though the siztkal were incapable of penetrating the ship themselves, their teeth left impressions in the alloy polymer and the saliva they deposited contained a plethora of parasitic organisms that mimicked the corrosive nature of kainde amedha blood. He then added that he had been stranded for an additional three weeks before his distress signal reached a nearby scout ship. I laughed, but again inside my head.

When Gikvaris began opening the crates that contained weapons and handing several to me I asked why it was necessary to carry so many if we would be returning to the ship after our first practice hunt. Quite seriously he replied that we would not return to the ship at all until it was time to leave. Without pestering him, it was easy to infer that the jungle ahead of us would be our home in the meantime. I groaned, struggling to understand how living in trees or whatever else he had planned would help me in my quest to destroy Dalani, but I didn't dare ask. He was the teacher and I was the student. Whatever he wanted me to learn, whether I considered it useful or not, I would learn.

For days I watched Gikvaris stalk his prey from the canopy of the jungle, using his cloaking device intermittently whenever lowering himself ground level. He had been following a pack of kurn, a beast the Yautja both hunted and used like hounds to flush out prey. They were hideous creatures and I sure as hell hoped he didn't expect me to eat one. My stomach had been growling so loud I was surprised the kurn hadn't already been alerted to our presence, but even still I wouldn't consider eating one of them. I'd rather eat the bark of the trees we were practically living in since having landed.

I wondered when Gikvaris would ever get around to actually advancing on the pack of kurn, and sometimes I was brazen enough to allude to my curiosity. Gikvaris coolly explained that it was vital to watch prey before advancing. He reminded me that as I watched for weaknesses in combat, I should also watch for weaknesses before combat. The rush of adrenaline sometimes made it hard to detect those subtleties so evident in the hunt leading up to the moment of advancement.

"Give me an example."

Gikvaris rumbled as he always did whenever I annoyed him. But he never withheld the answers to my questions. "Have you seen a weakness in ooman Dalani?"

"I don't think you'd agree with my opinion of weakness..." Yeah, she was a real tough girl. The kind that got knocked down a few pegs because they had grown too big for their britches. Not knowing your limits? Now that was a weakness.

"In kehrite you naturally incline your rear foot when bracing when it should be flat against ground. You make it easy to throw off balance when body is not firmly planted."

"Damn, Gik...You hunting me or something?"

I'm sure underneath that mask he was teeming. "Gikvaris," he said plainly, letting me know he didn't appreciate my little nickname for him. "And when you have lived as long as I have then you will no longer need to stalk in order to spot the weakness."

I smiled playfully. "I think I'm good Gikvaris. I mean...I spotted your weakness, didn't I?"

Gikvaris chirred.

"It's your age. I think you need glasses. That's why I nicked your arm in the kehrite...because you didn't see it coming."

I smiled again, expecting to hear some indignant rumble before insulting me, but I hadn't expected his arm to shoot out and shove me off the branch we were perched on. The branches below stifled most of the momentum of the fall, but when I hit the ground it was an ache I was sure to feel for days. When I finally looked over Gikvaris was standing beside me.

"Foot inclined on branch. Easy to throw off balance."

 _You mean shove, not throw._

I brushed the wet leaves off of me and sat up. "Damn, Gikvaris. What the fuck? I'm gonna be sore for weeks!"

"Get used to it."

"Why? You planning on knocking me off a few more branches?"

"H'ko." Trilling, he extended his hand and I reluctantly took it. "Will prepare you for return to clanship."

"How's that?" My expression was as wet as my suit.

"Kch'lo."

It took a few seconds to realize what he meant and impulsively I reached out and brought my fist against his shoulder. Covered head to toe in armor, I'm sure it hurt me worse than it hurt him.

Gikvaris clicked his mandibles rapidly before turning toward the direction the kurn had gone. He flashed his wrist blade at me and trilled. It was time.

* * *

I had made my first kill and it was horrifying and glorious and sanctimonious all at the same time. While I had only killed one kurn and Gikvaris the other six in the pack, I couldn't help but marvel over the body of mine. It was only one, but it was the _first_ one. And as much as I wanted to live in the moment, Gikvaris was quick to cut through it just like he was quick to cut through the hides of his own kurn kills.

Gikvaris motioned for me to kneel besid him and watch him skin one of the kurns. The hide was thick and spiney but no match for Gikvaris' d'lex blade. Once he skinned it he began pulling strips of the meat from its bones. As he brought one of the strips to his mouth, mandibles spread to ingest it, I snapped forward and began retching. When I finally regained my composure I wiped my mouth and sat straight. I was fine until Gikvaris extended his hand, holding another strip of the meat with blood tricking down his fingers. I clambored to my feet and took to retching behind a tree.

But like it or not, Gikvaris told me, the 'weak-stomached ooman', that kurn meat was suitable for consumption and that if I had to choose between eating kurn flesh or starving, I had better get over my aversion to consuming uncooked, bloody meat to survive. Which made taking it from his hand that much harder as he added that there was other prey on the preserve suitable for consumption, the meat of which, raw or prepared, was prized for its nourishment and taste. And seriously skittish. Not like the aggressive, fanged kurn we had just dropped in on and whose meat was presently poised at my mouth.

 _Greeaaaat._

Only one word could adequately descsribe what kurn meat tasted like if ever asked: rotten.

"N'got." He looked over at my kill. "Tiny ooman has killed, but not skinned."

"How hard can it be?"

Gikvaris trilled and pulled a blade from his belt, handing it to me. "Take skull."

You can imagine Gikvaris' irritation when I cut through flesh and bone and carried its heavy head over to him.

"Good?"

"H'ko." He rumbled. "H'ko head. Skull."

 _Oh._

At first it was hard to dig my fingers into the oozing flesh, furious that Gikvaris was only toying with me rather than teaching me something I could use against Dalani. But then I focused on trying to put the pieces together because I knew Gikvaris would never waste time. Play tricks? Of course. Waste days just to watch me empty my stomach? Not his style. So to make this experience a little less frustrating I simply envisioned that it was Dalani's head, not a kurn. And God how my fingers began to toil and tear at its flesh after that.

Only after I had produced a head void of meat did Gikvaris share insight as to his reasoning behind this bloody task. To remain focused I would always have to view Dalani as prey. Not as the person who had destroyed my dreams or concocted the scheme to take away my ability to produce life, but as nothing less than worthy prey. To hunt and to fight my prey without the sole intention of publically shaming and humiliating, but to take a trophy from. Shame and humiliation would fade with time, but a trophy would serve as a permanent reminder of my victory. So whenever I started slipping into the mentality that wounding Dalani's pride and destroying her reputation was the utmost goal, I should recall this kurn skull in my hands and remember that however fierce my battle had been, the details would fade. But this skull would remain forever.

And as for making me eat kurn flesh? That wasn't part of the greater lesson. That was so my stomach would stop growling and scaring away all the good prey Gikvaris swore we would hunt now. No more kurns.


	14. Chapter 14 - Atone

_**Guest: Don't know if you'll see this, but hey, a review is a review & I ain't mad. Cant love 'em all. But there's always a PM button and I am always open to constructive criticism. Feedback, good or bad, only makes people stronger. **_

_**Guest: Same as above. I've ready plenty of books that midway I'm just not loving it. But hey, if you manage to read everything that's out there and then get bored, there will always be more chapters than the last of mine you've read. Who knows? Maybe it'll grow on you. If not, I wont be mad. We cant all love the same thing.**_

 _ **Ally: Thank you so much for the kind review! I am glad you are looking forward to more!**_

 _ **Tenfangirl:**_ _ **can only learn from the best.**_

 _ **tissues: Again, I'm seriously happpppy that you have left another review/comment. Hope chp 14 answers your questions about chip. And as for life giving you lemons, I don't have enough fingers or toes to count the amount of times I've had to work with the lemons. Thank you**_

 _ **write more soon: Wouldn't be the same without your comment gracing each of my chapters.**_

 _ **peachdreams26: thank you so much. Chap 14 is going to be a little more of a filler. I need some more time to craft the ending of chp 14 that I think needs a chap all to itself. So this was a short one, but hope you enjoy all the same!**_

 _ **JunogawaKing: I seriously write Kch'lo thinking of specific people in my life I thought were seriously dubious. And to an extent they were, but they had some undercurrents of nobility in them. Maybe they couldn't be all good, but they certainly werent just straight evil. Like how I paint Hit'tgar. And yeah, Exia needs a big bro in her life. So he's staying put. Chp 14 is a filler, and I prob wont update for a few days as I craft chp 15 and all I need it to accomplish (because I didn't feel like cramming it into 14). But keep posted…and as always, thanks for hanging in there**_

 _ **machtgut: sometimes the obvious should be well, obvious, but then does life ever really work like that? So sometimes it may seem like shes whining or should just snap out of it already and see the big picture, but we (humans) aren't like that. We're always looking for angles. So she needs to be like that too. But I am glad you found my story and I hope it continues to make your reading time worthwhile!**_

 _ **FutureEnchantments: chap 14 will be short, because I need some major time with 15. But I hope to post next before the weekend, or maybe during. Thank you for always reviewing – I like feedback. I seriously need it, good or bad.**_

 _ **Tenjp: She needed a breath of fresh air. I needed it too. I was getting a little claustrophobic on the ship myself. And 'Gik" ( like that nickname?) made a promise, and what's a Yautja that doesn't keep his word?**_

 **Disclaimer: I have no rights to the AVP universe and make no profit writing this story. I only own my characters, which you'll either love or hate.**

 **Also, sorry my lovely followers….This chapter is another one of those fillers. Need to spend some time with Chap 15 because there's a lot going on there. Hope to post before or by end of weekend.**

* * *

I was nosey and Gikvaris was helpless to keep me from poking about his business. I liked him but I didn't like that we were practically strangers. I didn't know anything more about him than he knew about me and so I pestered him until he finally relented. So he took me back to his roots; back to a beginning I could somewhat follow – the names and circumstances he wouldn't have to painstakingly explain. And so I learned that much had happened after Kch'lo abdicated his position as clan leader. The Elders became divided. Kal'ar was young and lacking in experience – not only in politics but in ruling and instructing a faction of Yautja inherently wired to buck the heavy hand of authority: the Un-blooded. Kch'lo had already attained the experience necessary to instruct, rule, and lead the many castes of Yautja. He had also proven his ability to harness the impulsiveness distinctive to the Un-blooded with more than five of Kal'ar's lifetimes behind him. Kal'ar was a seasoned warrior, but his experience began and ended with the hunt. He would remain dependent a very long time upon the Elder's tutelage to guide him in the arena of politics whereas Kch'lo, already an Arbitrator, had little need of their counsel as it was the Elders who sought _his_ counsel, not the other way around.

Gikvaris' training had been entrusted to Kch'lo, then only an Elder, as had Kal'ar's. It was in those days after passing their chiva that Kal'ar and Gikvaris became each other's _kv'var_ _mei'hswei_ – hunt brother. But as Kal'ar went on to train and prepare to take his Sire's position as clan leader, his ambitions turning from the hunt to that of a leader, Gikvaris departed the clanship with a different ambition: the pursuit of _d'yeka_ – the ultimate prey. That calling had been sufficient to appease the Elders' displeasure with his departure, although his leaving had more to do with preferring the peace of isolation to the turbulence that had deepened the divide of the clan.

For years Gikvaris travelled from planet to planet adding more trophies than the walls of his trophy room could accommodate. Years had passed and the memory of the political upheaval that had driven him from his clanship faded, but it had not forgotten him. After returning to his ship with the trophies of his recent kills that no longer had a place on his densely adorned walls, he realized that as he had been hunting, he had also been hunted. But the Yautja that pursued him had not come to deliver the justice due a Bad-blood, but to request that Gikvaris return to the clanship and assist his former kv'var mei-hswei in instructing a potential ooman mate. It was a task not trusted to the Elders as their predilection for another ooman would tarnish their commitment.

Gikvaris openly admitted that had this news been delivered by any Yautja other than Kch'lo he would have considered the request an insult and would have promptly initiated jehdin-jehdin. There was no honor in training a lesser species in the superiority of Yautja combat, but Kch'lo would never have been an Arbitrator if he had not successfully mastered the art of persuasion.

Yes, my mood soured at hearing Gikvaris' first impression of me, but I'd torture him for it later.

Gikvaris knew that returning to the clanship meant that he would be faced with pressure from Kal'ar to remain among the clan. The clan, but most of all Kal'ar, had not forgotten the warrior they lost to the pursuit of The Hunt. In an effort to alleviate Gikvaris' apprehension, Kch'lo would ensure Gikvaris rose in rank from a warrior to Elite. As an Elite, Gikvaris would fulfill the requirement of contributing to his clan's future that he had long been putting off – taking Un-blooded Yautja under his tutelage and preparing them for their chiva. Yes he would become a glorified babysitter, but he wouldn't be chained to the clanship. In fact, since the training of the Un-blooded involved years away from the clanship, hopping from planet to planet, Gikvaris might not step foot on the clanship for several decades at a time.

After a helluva lot of convincing and yes, even begging (or groveling, I won't comment as to which is the more accurate), I sat with Gikvaris at the edge of an endless blue ocean and asked him the only question I had after hearing any of what he had just told me.

"Why would Kch'lo help Kal'ar?"

Gikvaris would have looked rather silly sitting in the sand if he hadn't busied himself with sharpening the jawbone of one of his recent kills. He just _loved_ demonstrating to me that anything, and I mean _anything_ , could be used as a weapon with the right amount of patience.

"Kch'lo ensure Kal'ar produce pups."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" It didn't make much sense when not long after my training Kch'lo had stated his interest in me. Stated. Not whispered. Like if Kal'ar had heard him it was no big deal.

Gikvaris eyed his newly fashioned weapon with admiration. "Same reason Kch'lo was sure I would accept offer as Elite."

"Is it really that bad? Staying on the ship?"

 _What the hell am I saying? Of course it is._

But before I could correct myself, Gikvaris replied: "Can do what he pleases."

"Doesn't he anyway?" I rolled my eyes. Luckily Gikvaris was more interested in his new barbaric club than what the hell my mood was doing to my facial expressions.

Gikvaris trilled. "Would it please tiny ooman to know why I propositioned Kal'ar to put you in care of another?"

Boy would I ever. I hadn't forgotten what V told me about Gikvaris 'intervening on my behalf' after Kal'ar intentioned to make me his pet. I wanted to know. So I nodded.

"Elders believed that since tiny ooman could not produce pups, purpose as mate was lost. Purpose not lost, only changed."

I stopped sifting through the pile of stones I had collected for Ayida. Up until that moment I had never viewed my condition or my situation in that light.

"Bearing Yautja clan leader's pup is great honor, but equally great burden. Oomans cannot produce amount of pups clan leader requires. Yautja life not guaranteed. Just as many Yautja will pass chiva, many Yautja will not. Even if Kal'ar desires pair bond, Elders will push for more pups. Is only natural. Would soon be living in shadow of new mate. Tiny ooman is different than oomans in common room. Want more than pups. Kch'lo was good choice for tiny ooman. Has no need of pups."

"He made it clear well before the inadequacy of my womb came into play that he was interested." My mood soured. Real good choice, he was. I didn't even know where _he_ was. "And what do you mean, 'new mate'? That's a first."

"To answer your question as to a new mate, tiny ooman need only look at females in common room. Exia very close with ooman Ayida…Must realize that this is last pup she will bear. Ooman bodies are too frail; Yautja sucklings take much from an already healthy body. The most any ooman among our clan has bore was nine, but during birth of ninth the ooman died and the pup she birthed was very weak. Did not live long outside of womb. Much like oomans among other clans. Exia would have given Kal'ar six or seven before Kal'ar would weigh risk against reward. Elders would then push for more." He slid his left leg back and rested his elbow on his knee. "As for Kch'lo…Tiny ooman Exia was relentless. Not like other oomans. Other oomans have no interest in Yautja ways. No other ooman fight for Yautja as tiny ooman fought for Kal'ar. Kch'lo was not only Yautja interested in tiny ooman. Kch'lo sired many pups. Interest in tiny ooman is more than breeding."

Ignoring what he said about other Yautja being interested because really, I couldn't even _go there_ with him, I huffed. "I'm sure you're right. I mean, it's not like he would…." I searched for that word again. "…. _pauk_ me and then just leave, right?"

Gikvaris let out a high trill, my sarcasm never ceasing to amuse him. "Surely tiny ooman does not complain…I shall speak with Kch'lo. Inform him tiny ooman desires Kch'lo to remain on ship and pauk as often as possible."

I glared at him before hurling a fistful of gritty, orange sand at him. "Asshole."

Gikvaris let out another high-pitched trill before getting up. "Come. Have kept tiny ooman from pauk-de long enough."

* * *

I didn't have a trophy room of my own, so Kch'lo's would have to do for now. Stealing away into his coveted chamber, I tucked my kurn skull on top of one of his…whatever _it_ was. Afterwards, I went to the common room to bring Ayida the small stones I had painstakingly gathered for her. It was a lot of work, especially after all of the running and jumping and climbing I had been doing for two weeks straight. But the smile on her face would outweigh all the bending and sifting and _even_ all of Gikvaris' complaints. Apparently he didn't like sand. Or water.

As soon as I opened the door Ayida let out a shriek, struggling to get off of the couch to get to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed me, her belly poking against mine. She had gotten so big in such a small amount of time, but she was looking healthy again. Whatever she had been doing - or her pup _not_ doing - was working wonders.

When she let go she pulled me down onto the sofa beside her and the rest of the girls gathered around, urging me to tell them all the juicy details of my time on the preserve. I wanted to be alone with Ayida to give her what I had been dying to give her since leaving the second preserve, but I didn't want to hurt the rest of the girls' feelings. So I hid the small pouch between my legs and kept them all busy with the bloody details of my first kill, enjoying every ghastly stare as I recounted how I had peeled the flesh and veins from its skull before polishing it off. I spared them the bit about my eating its flesh. They were pregnant. I wasn't that cruel.

I told them how Gikvaris taught me how to use a Yautja whip, explaining that it wasn't like a leather whip, but made of d'lex links in the shape of a kainde amedha tail. It had been hard circling the whip around over my head on account of its length, creating a rotation before jerking the whip which caused the movement to travel down the whip until it reached the tip. Many attempts, many failures, but when I finally figured out the right momentum the whip needed, Gikvaris was helpless to stop me from cracking it down on anything in sight. Pulling it taut before yanking it back to rip whatever I had in its clutches in half was almost as glorious as the look of surprise – then sheer satisfaction – on Gikvaris' face as I moved from one stage of training to another. He did, however, rumble in displeasure every time I cracked the whip down without regard as to how close he was standing next to the tip of it. I got a little carried away. Who can blame me?

The only trophy I took from the first preserve was the kurn skull. The rest of our time on the preserve was spent sharpening my hunting skills, looking for weaknesses, studying my environment, and familiarizing myself with using weapons on other living creatures besides Gikvaris. I had learned and gained more than just basic hunt skills. Gikvaris had a knack for paralleling everything he did in hunting to everything he did while not hunting. The hell with being an Elite – Gikvaris contained more knowledge in his little finger than all the Elders that gathered in Kal'ar's chamber.

And after I made them terribly jealous recounting my time on 'the beach' the girls filled me in on all the details in my absence. Well, the ones they thought I might like to know. Like how Dalani threw a fucking bitch fit when she found out Gikvaris had taken me to a preserve. And an even bigger bitch fit when Suharek tried to initiate their coupling. It was an ironic justice that the one who wanted to be a warrior and not a bearer was now a bearer and not a warrior. Even more ironic that the one she had made sure would never become a bearer now held that coveted title she schemed relentlessly to attain. It was no wonder I had a smile running from ear to ear.

I also learned that aside from Dalani's fits, Kal'ar had one of his own. Apparently he hadn't been aware that Kch'lo had ordered my tracking device removed. It was obvious after he had given Gikvaris shit before we left he just wasn't happy with my leaving, but I didn't know why that mattered anymore. His position was clear. I wasn't mate material. I hadn't made my peace with it, but he didn't have to make it harder by playing mind games. But more important than trying to uncover the complexity of the motive behind Kal'ar's behavior: I wasn't looking forward to Kch'lo finding out about it. Definitely not looking forward to that family feud. It was bad enough being at the center of attention for most of my time here. I was growing rather fond of my newly found obscurity.

Ayida couldn't make sense of it either and assumed that without Kal'ar providing a reason no one would ever know. But she did know that the tracking device had been implanted not _just_ because it would help detect any physical impairments during my match with Dalani, but because monitoring the health (and whereabouts) of any ooman bearing a Yautja pup was crucial. And the ooman bearing the clan leader's pup even more crucial. They had all received one, and that included Dalani. _That_ I hadn't known, but I was sure glad mine had been removed. Whether or not it was true, I mused that Dalani just didn't have a badass Yautja that didn't need a tracking device to keep his property in check. His eyes just did it naturally.

Before long I decided that Ayida's goody bag would have to wait. I was exhausted and I wanted nothing more than to crawl into a soft bed and sleep like I hadn't slept in weeks. There was too much excitement in the common room and as much as I missed Ayida, I missed my sleep more. After sleeping on a branch fifty feet above ground, waking up every five minutes just to make sure the darkness of my dream wasn't the darkness of the death I had just fallen to, I was ready to curl up in Kch'lo's bed. And yeah, I was kind of hoping Kch'lo would drop by so I could give him a piece of my mind. Then I'd act like I didn't want him to curl up beside me while secretly basking in the heat his body gave off.

* * *

Ayida gave me a good pampering on account of the gift I had just given her. Without any holes to slip strands of hair into she would need some time to figure out a way to weave the stones into her hair, but she was more than pleased to have a new project to keep her distracted as her movement became more limited in the coming months. I sat on the floor with a bowl of naxa and let her work her fingers through my hair. She combed out the knots and removed dead ends using a dull piece of bone she had snatched from one of Shunlau's trophies and tediously - and very covertly - sharpened.

"Are you coming to the hall tonight?"

"For what?" I was honestly more interested in getting my bowl of naxa down my throat than anything Ayida was saying. I had my fill of meat and now all I wanted was to satisfy my sweet tooth.

"They pay high honor to Di'ipjo."

I shrugged. I had no interest in being in a room full of Elders. I knew I had to get over my beef with them eventually, but I just wasn't in the mood. I was feeling pretty good about myself post-hunt and I didn't need their pious glares interfering with my _zazin_.

"Maybe."

"You have better plans?" Ayida laughed lightly.

"Welp, seeing how I'm sans Yautja mate, I guess you could say that. I have the bed all to myself. Don't' know how long that's gonna last so I might as well enjoy it while I can."

Ayida groaned. "What did you do to piss Kch'lo off to make him leave? Maybe I can try it with Shunlau. It is getting more and more difficult to get comfortable at night with a big Yautja on my left and one smack dab in front of me."

I laughed, but I just couldn't imagine. And I really couldn't because that would never be me.

"I really don't know, Ayida. It's been a whirlwind of confusion ever since waking up in the clinic. First I thought Kch'lo was mocking me by what he was doing and then V tells me he's only protecting me. Next I'm spilling my guts out to him and then poof - he's gone. Like, not gone from the room, but _gone_ gone. From the ship. Sometimes I wonder why Vik'var'is didn't just let me die. I mean, it's not like he's very fond of me anyway."

Ayida patted my shoulders to let me know she had finished fussing with my hair. "You are only used to Kal'ar who barely ever leaves the clanship. You are also not in common room enough to see how most of our Yautja treat us. Sometimes they come inside, but most of the time they are content with opening the door, making sure we're keeping their pups well fed, and then closing the door without a word." She took a piece of naxa from my bowl. "You should be pleased. You didn't want Kch'lo anyway."

I scoffed and then handed the bowl to her, having lost my appetite. "Funny, isn't it? I wanted Kal'ar and in the end he pushed me away. Kch'lo wanted me and here I am pushing him away. You would think Kal'ar's rejection would have made me more empathetic to it, huh?"

Ayida clapped out in laughter. "Exia!"

I turned and looked at her crossly. "What?"

"We're talking about Kch'lo, Exia! You think he regards your snubbing him as rejection? You just give him more reason to chase."

She let out another shrill laugh, but I was less than inclined to share in her comical musing.

"Think about it. Seriously, Exia. Kal'ar didn't have to chase you because he is clan leader. I know he appreciated and rewarded your advances, but if you had suddenly decided you could not be bothered anymore, do you think Kal'ar would have pursued you?"

 _Yeah. I really did._

"We are to Kal'ar as a harem is to a Saudi prince: plenty of ladies vying for a spot. But Kch'lo and all the other Yautja not sitting in that big chair at the head of the table? They had to prove themselves worthy to a potential mate. So there is no longer a need to drop the bones of a highly prized kill at a prospective mate's feet – but give up because said prospective mate gives them the cold shoulder? Only makes their determination more intense. The Yautja do not hear the word 'no', Exia. They say it to us but will not hear it from us."

I frowned. I hadn't forgotten that stint in the washroom and the door that Kal'ar never replaced.

"Well, that may be true, but _not_ voicing my unhappiness sure sends the message that I'm good with the whole switching hands thing."

Ayida waved at me dismissively. "You do what you like, Exia. Either way, you are just plain _stuck._ You are either going to accept him as your mate because you want to or because you have to. It is your choice on how difficult you are going to make it."

I stood up. "Gee, I'm real glad we had this chat."

"You've been having this chat with everyone but yourself."

"You know, you're supposed to be reminding me how bad Kch'lo is, not trying to convince me that I'm wrong for being angry."

Ayida smiled softly. "I told you to stay away from him, Exia. Because Kch'lo is the type of Yautja that when he sets his sights on something it is not long before it is his. I really believe now that regardless of what His'tgar did to you Kch'lo would have used a few tricks up his sleeve to make you his. And as angry as you are going to be hearing this…I misjudged Kch'lo. Regardless of the purpose you were no longer able to fulfill it did not sway his determination to have you."

But she was wrong: I wasn't angry. Losing to Dalani and confirming the Elders' belief that I was weak wouldn't have swayed him and losing my womb to His'tgar's blade certainly hadn't swayed him either. I was just too busy focusing on the one Yautja both scenarios might sway and to my own misery _did_ sway.

"Come on." Ayida took my hand. "We'll skip the ceremony, get something to eat, and then you can take me the kehrite and show me some of your new moves."

"Uhhh…Ayida…"

"Yes?"

"I don't think Shunlau would like that very much."

Ayida laughed lightly. "What? Where do you think he goes when I am too weary to let him have a go at me? Has to burn off energy somehow."

I smiled and nodded. I doubted my skills would compare to Shunlau's, but I wasn't opposed to burning off a little energy myself.

* * *

It was hard walking into the hall after so much had passed between the last time I had stepped out of it until now. My heart was in the throat; I felt like an outcast. Thankfully I had Gikvaris at my side. He took one look at me out in the hallway and just _knew_ if he wasn't at my side I would melt from the blazing heat of their stares. He grumbled that it was something we would have to work on, but under that hard exterior I knew he hated the formality of it all just as much as I did. That's why he would always be a Lone Wolf at heart.

Maybe it was pretty cowardly of me, but I stayed as close to Gikvaris' side and used his shoulder to hide my face from the table of Elders and the one sitting at the head of that table. Like a trusty escort, Gikvaris delivered me to the table teeming with uncomfortable pregnant women and nodded reassuringly to me. It was like he was telling me that I had a right to be here, pregnant or not. That I was just as valuable with my flat stomach as those sitting around me with bellies that barely fit beneath the table.

"Exia." Ayida nudged me.

"What? Why are you whispering?"

"Do you see Dalani?"

"I wasn't planning on looking." I really wasn't. My eyes had no business going in the direction of that table.

"She's sitting behind Suharek."

"And?"

Ayida laughed. "She's sitting _behind_ Suharek. Not beside him. Not at the table at all."

 _Shit. That's tempting._

But I still didn't look. And after watching Ayida dally with the food on her plate I gently reminded her that the only reason I was presently sitting here was because this was part of _her_ bigger plan. The plan before we wound up in the kehrite - the place I was itching to get out of here for.

Ayida jammed her elbow into my side. "Exia…."

"What?" I crossed my arms. Why the hell couldn't she hurry up and just eat?

"Damn it, Exia!" Ayida practically shoved me out of my chair.

I shot her a wild glare, but she wasn't looking at me anymore. I turned my head and followed the path of her eyes to the door.

A Yautja entered the hall in full armor, but I knew it was Kch'lo by the dark purple cape flowing behind him, nearly blocking the eta trailing his purposeful steps. A momentary fear rendered me paralyzed, believing I had angered him by being in the hall with so many other male Yautja. I forced my feet to move forward to meet him, but when he was finally looming over me the fear that had hijacked my body vanished.

Kch'lo unhooked the tubes connecting his bio-mask but his face was bereft of the hardness I anticipated. It was strange seeing him in full armor; as if he had come straight here after docking his ship with little concern of removing his armor and weapons. He turned his body slightly and the eta behind him stepped forward. Kch'lo took the metal container the eta was holding and turned back to me.

He bent his knee and lowered himself, setting the box down at my feet. When he stood straight again his pale green eyes, almost grey, narrowed. There was a message in them, but I was too overwhelmed with the pace of what was happening to understand.

He nodded before turning to leave. Before I could even utter a single word. But as much as I wanted to chase after him, I couldn't ignore the box he had set down in front of me. And neither could anyone else in the room.


	15. Chapter 15 - Pure

_xXWhoWantsToKnowXx: Hope your desire to have some feelings to go out to Kch'lo are satisfied in this chap :-)_

 _JunogawaKing: Exia has a proper thanks in order before moving on to knocking Dalani down a few more pegs :-)_

 _Tenfangirl: Kch'lo may seem like he's always just living in the moment I write for him, but he's got plans. and angles. dont we all?_

 _Sunstreaker's Squishy: I plan on devoting the near future to Exia getting her revenge on Dalani. No fear: Dalani may not be on the floor right now, but the floor is definitely in her near future._

 _FutureEnchantments: Its typical that the one who plays dirty to get to the top is usually the one that winds up at the bottom. But there's even a bottom below the bottom and I'm gonna take Dalani there._

 _Ally: End "hanger". Enjoy! And as for Gikvaris, I'm sure he's got some adventures on these pages in the future. :-)_

 _write more soon: You must make an account so that I can pester you with petitions to know your inner thoughts._

 _shellly.c: I have kept you on your toes, and now I must allow my characters to be on theirs (:-X) And thank you for having my back as to the guest comments. Although each is entitled to their own opinion, nice to know I dont share my ire alone._

 _Kaschey: Your answer awaits below... :-)_

 _KATT9033: be still my heart...you flatter me._

 _Tenjp: Here's to Exia taking that deep breath and embracing..._

 _Guest: I hope you are seeing this and know its to you I am speaking - thank you for finding my story a breath of fresh air. Yes, there are brilliant stories that probably (nah... definitely!) overshadow my own, but I'm glad to be the one that refuses to make being thrown into a foreign environment without its uphill battles._

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to AVP or its universe and make no profit off this story. I only own my characters, their strengths and many flaws, which you will either love or hate. :-)_**

 ** _And on a side note...I hope all of you can appreciate the tedious attention to detail I spent trying to describe physical feelings words really cannot convey in full. Painstaking, frustrating, and oodles of fun at the same time._**

 ** _***_ Mature content below. If you are under the age of 18, please leave this page. You're too young to have your thoughts assaulted with the adult imagery teeming in the depths of my mind. **

* * *

I knelt down on one knee and slid my finger beneath the curved hinge to open the lid of the metal container. I hesitated opening it, wanting very much to regard its contents in private rather than under the studious glares of those behind and around me; some sitting, but some now standing. But whatever Kch'lo had delivered at my feet he had intentionally placed there in front of the view of others. I was loathe to steal his carefully intentioned plan away from him.

Gikvaris had come over to me from the table, but did not put himself close enough to view the box's contents whenever I decided to finally take a leap of faith and open it. He was just _there_ , as he always was. A candle in the darkness of my own thoughts; reassuring me that no matter what waited for me in the darkness beneath my fingertips, he was there to keep me from being swept away in the current of my many misunderstandings.

I slipped my fingers underneath the lid and took a deep breath, aware that my face had filled with the rosy flush of anticipation and the apprehension of so many attentional stares. I opened the lid and stared down, that rush of color suddenly draining from my face. I wasn't horrified - fear was the furthest emotion crippling me. Hope blossomed and then ecstasy coursed through my veins, crippling me the way sheer pleasure forces its host to regard the wonder before its eyes in reverent silence.

The sanctimonious thrill of atonement washed over me and I felt a sense of vindication I never thought would come to fruition. I knew the face staring back at me: the dull, waxy eyes that rolled into the folds of their lidded shells; the pink inner mouth that had once contorted in violent rage that was now the sickly gray of a clam; the blood that fringed the tatters of a throat not the vivid green of life, but the dark green of algae befitting a bottom feeder. I reached out and touched the hardened mandibles frozen in death's icy grip, no longer afraid of what the protruding tusks could do to my vulnerable skin.

And that ever present throb constant in my womb ceased; the ghost of the life within its maternal folds having found peace in the sight of its assailant. I slipped my hands alongside of his face and allowed my fingers to trail down his rough skin to the frayed flesh along his throat. I pinched the flesh between my fingers and smoothed the clots of coagulated blood between them, wondering if he had done the same to mine between his own.

But I wasn't finished feeling the tendrils of his suffering. That I would do in private; as delicately as Gikvaris had instructed me, preserving the bone beneath a network of muscle, vein, and tissue. There was something I needed to do before I tended to Kch'lo's offering. Something I needed to demonstrate more than my desire to preserve my vindication. And so with a heavy heart, not wishing to be separated so soon from this wholly divine sight, I closed the lid and grabbed the handles on the sides, lifting it as I stood with more purpose than I had ever stood in all of my life.

Gikvaris was behind me following with cautious steps, but I didn't need him right now. I didn't need anyone to support me because finally I had a foundation to stand firmly upon. Only moments ago I would have meekly approached the table, ever conscious of Kal'ar's steady gaze I could neither interpret or speak to, but his eyes were not the eyes I found mine locked on in a passionate swell of foreshadowing I was moments from delivering.

As I approached the Elders across from Dalani they stood and stepped aside, eager to give me the space to present my hidden wares but too curious to distance themselves from what I was moments from showing them. I set the box down on the table and turned it around so that the hinge faced her. Suharek motioned for Dalani to approach, but she hesitated and it earned her a sharp snarl. I had endured many of those from the only mate I wanted and many more thereafter. It felt good to have them reciprocate their displeasure to one so deserving; to the one who stroked their egos, promising much but delivering little.

"Do you believe in omens?" I asked.

Dalani scoffed, but the demure expression of her eyes gave her away. She was feeling the heat of the intense pressure surrounding her. She was buckling. My mysterious emboldening had shaken her.

"You really don't believe that whatever you are about to show me will make me view you any differently?" She looked at the Elders on her right and on her left as if the rally their support, but their eyes were exactly where they should have been: on me.

I slid my hands over the top of the lid and pulled it back. She was reluctant to move her eyes from mine, but the pressure to be brave was the strongest it had ever been. Dalani considered herself a warrior and warriors didn't shrink when faced with the fear of the unknown. She had opened the door and given me a foothold. She didn't know it now but soon she would know it was a weakness that I would exploit and it would be her undoing.

Without breaking eye contact I spoke to Gikvaris who remained silent at my side. "I am going to leave this here for Dalani so that she can consider its implications. When she is finished would you mind making sure it is returned to me?"

Gikvaris trilled in agreement.

I smiled wryly before shoving the box forward. The abrupt movement forced her eyes down before she stumbled backwards with a gasp, spilling onto Suharek's lap. Kal'ar stood and the Elders followed. Much taller than Dalani they immediately saw the lifeless face staring back at them. It was then that I looked at Kal'ar. I wanted him to see my pleasure. The same pleasure he could have given me if he had only considered avenging His'tgar's crimes not just against me, but the crime His'tgar had vicariously committed through him as well.

Ayida crept beside me and took my hand, acknowledging and embracing _with me_ the ripple effect all of this would have on my future.

Finally looking away from Kal'ar, whose flaring mandibles, in my mind, attested to his deep regret, I looked at Ayida.

"You were wrong."

"Aye?"

I nodded toward the box. "You said there is no longer a need for a Yautja to offer the bones of the most worthy prey at his intended's feet. But he did, Ayida. He honors me as the Yautja of old honored their females. And he avenges a crime against a human that others considered superficial." I squeezed her hand again. I was glad she had been wrong. Had she been right I would never have felt the pure satisfaction of His'tgar's death.

I let go of her hand and turned to Gikvaris. I didn't need to utter a single word. He knew what I needed him to do because there was something that _I_ needed to do that could not wait a moment longer.

* * *

I stood at the doorway of Kch'lo's trophy room. He knew I was there, but did not turn his head to acknowledge my silent presence. His attention was on the skull I had placed among the many of his in what I perceived as deep contemplation, but I had been wrong in interpreting his mood before. I only hoped that his lack of irritation or downright outrage at having violated his sacred inner chamber was an accurate reading this time.

I could have stood in the doorway and watched him for an eternity. He was no longer the menacing Yautja I feared would breach the walls of my carefully constructed defenses; his truths capable of disassembling my network of imposed beliefs. Though our initial encounter had been uninvolved, after our subsequent encounter in the assembly hall I had convinced myself that his motive behind sharing his portentous insight into my bond with Kal'ar was self-serving and deliberately derisive. I refused to believe that Kal'ar was merely playing a calculated game with my affections, as Kch'lo suggested, preferring to believe that Kch'lo's confiding in me was a subtle way in which to sow seeds of discord that would skewer my view of Kal'ar. But he had been right all along. They both wanted a docile mate who would honor their Yautja with reverence and obedience. Only I realized now that Kal'ar wanted that in a bearer, not a mate.

But as much as I wanted to embrace the rare Yautja moment of serenity, the suspense was killing me. He had said nothing before setting His'tgar's head at my feet and he said nothing now.

"You are not angry?"

He gazed at the rows of polished bones a few moments longer before turning and meeting me at the door. "H'ko. Pleased that you take pride in that which gives Yautja pride."

I wave of relief washed over me. So I hadn't been wrong this time.

"But you will need your own."

"My own?"

Kch'lo turned his massive form so that I could see the room behind us again. "Must not build dynasty on foundation of another. Will need your own trophy room for that kurn skull of yours."

I knew he was being generous, but it was highly unlikely that I would be adding any more skulls to my collection. Besides His'tgar's. But I didn't want his skull in a trophy room. I'd rather see if Kch'lo would agree to letting me mount it above the bed.

He stepped forward to move past me but when I reached out and put my hand on his arm he paused. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but no words could ever effectively convey the amount of gratitude I had in my heart. I knew it was his job as an Arbitrator to hunt Bad-bloods, but no one had actually denounced His'tgar as one. Even if Kal'ar had condemned His'tgar's as such, I was sure there was a thousand others more worthy of Kch'lo's time. Yautja committing crimes against Yautja certainly called for immediate action, but I was a lowly human in their eyes. His'tgar's crime was not so much a crime as it was an unfortunate turn of events. Ayida spoke appropriately when she told me that humans were replaceable. And who could argue? There was bound to be at least one among the millions of humans ready to rise to the occasion.

I withdrew my hand and leaned against the frame of the doorway. It would take years to find the words I needed to say to him, but I didn't have years. I had but precious, fleeting moments before I lost my nerve.

"I was really mad at you." _Hell, it's a start._ "Really mad that you left me and I didn't know where you were or when you were coming back."

Kch'lo chirred and shifted his weight to one side.

"But while you were gone I learned a lot."

"Sei-i. Have seen kurn skull."

"No." I shook my head. "Before that. Before I even knew you were gone. I was terrible to you and I shouldn't have been."

 _God I had been such a bitch._

It wasn't as if he treated me like His'tgar had treated me that night in Kal'ar's room. And if I ever deserved a smack across the face it would have been after all those arrogant rolls of the eyes or turns of my back whenever he entered the room. I mean, _damn,_ His'tgar smacked me because he regarded my telling him the truth as arrogance. He told me to yield and I told him I obviously was since I was kneeling in front of him.

Kch'lo trilled lightly. "Had you adjusted easily you would not have been the stubborn ooman I know."

Suddenly I found my own head tilted in that Yautja idiom of bewilderment. "I thought you liked me 'docile'." Yeah, I even used my fingers to quote him. I hadn't forgotten his affectionate admission that he preferred a mate less inclined to hurl complaints at him and just lie back on the bed and take the brunt of his frustration.

"You mistake 'docile' for 'weak'. Told you I desired a mate that understood the hierarchy of dominance, not slave." He let out a low, playful trill. "Your obstinacy would not have lasted long."

I laughed lightly, unable to wipe the grin off my face.

 _Oh God…he's flirting with me…and I like it._

He moved past me and went into the washroom. Whether or not he was going to extend an invitation, I followed him. I noticed the labored movement of his hands when he unhooked the belt from around his waist; the way in which his customarily towering posture was slightly hunched. I went to him and stood before him, putting my hand on his arm to stop him. Whatever he had done to bring me His'tgar's head, it was wearing heavily on him now. So if words couldn't demonstrate my appreciation then at least my actions could.

A month ago I would have been clueless in dismantling the many layers of the extensive awu'asa - armor, but now after having watched Gikvaris my fingers knowingly moved to the laces and seams of his charcoal plate armor; unclasping the gorget at his throat, the bands of spaulders that covered his upper arms and bled into the pauldrons draped over his broad shoulders, the greaves shielding his lower legs. I unlaced his wrist blade, gauntlet, and arm bracer and set them carefully on the floor, conscious that Kch'lo was markedly calm as I laid the armament of his exalted Yautja status on the floor rather than hanging it on an armor stand to preserve its sanctity. But when I removed his chest plate I saw a deep laceration on his left pectoral muscle. I gently touched the aggravated wound which caused it to weep. I began to wipe away the small droplets of blood that oozed out but he caught my hand, spreading my fingers before placing my palm against its heat.

"Let me go to the clinic."

He shook his head and chuffed. "H'ko. Have ointment that will prevent infection, but not diminish scar."

"How did you…Did His'tgar – "

"His'tgar is a coward." He flared his mandibles but his anger subsided when he felt my hand go tense underneath his. I wasn't afraid he would lash out and hurt me, but it was difficult to remain at ease with a seven foot killing machine displaying aggression an arm's length away.

"Did not die with honor."

"Did not _live_ with honor, either." Well, maybe he had at one point or another, but the honor that had earned him the title of Elder had certainly expired long before I arrived. People didn't turn evil overnight. But then again, His'tgar wasn't 'people'. I'd have to stop equating their behavior on a human level. Humans didn't even have words for a quarter of the shit the Yautja did.

"Bhrak-chei." He let out a deep rumble that throbbed against my hand still over his chest.

'Bhrak-chei'. Speargun. I imagine that Kch'lo preferred the symbol of nobility non-energy weapons such as the al'Nagara, or longsword, implied; the longevity required to sustain an exhaustive fight as opposed to the sivk'va-tai (plasmacaster) that required perhaps great accuracy but little endurance. I imagined that Kch'lo had not forgotten His'tgar's former honor as an Elder and strove to redeem His'tgar's disgrace not in death only, but in the moments leading up to it: Mesh'in'ga - The Battle Dreamtime. But if His'tgar had used a speargun I can only imagine that not only did he not wish to die with honor, he did not wish to die at all.

Kch'lo released my hand and turned toward his crater sized tub. Everything in Kch'lo's quarters, including the size and length of his quarters and all of its compartments, were much larger than Kal'ar's. I was starting to interpret the gray areas in Gikvaris' recounting of his own history. He never did expound upon the turning point that shifted the Elders' campaign for Kch'lo as clan leader to Kal'ar, but I had a sneaking suspicion that they hadn't shifted their allegiance, but perhaps acquiesced to Kch'lo's decision with the inward cognizance that although, in their view, a regent would lead them, the monarch would always rule them. And the more I considered it, the more I realized that those contemptuous glares of the Elders I had endured at Kal'ar's side had transformed into careful reservation now that I belonged to Kch'lo.

 _Where the fuck is V when I need him?_

Net suit and loincloth now on the floor, Kch'lo lowered himself into the oil infused water. He cupped the water in his hand and let it flow over his angry wound; no trace of discomfort in his countenance. I stubbed my toe and squealed like a pig and here he was tending to the puncture wound from a cylindrical dart like it was no big deal. Like he was actually enjoying the nasty scar it would leave behind.

I lowered myself down to the edge and slipped my legs into the warm water. I don't know why I felt drawn to him; a heavy pull to just be near to him. I had wanted to be so close to Kal'ar; pleased by the way he cloyingly acknowledged me and teased me with rewards gained only by perseverance. Now all of it paled in comparison to the way Kch'lo regarded me. There was nothing I could do to earn his protection and attention, for these he offered freely and without inducement. I had his affections and there was nothing I could do to sway them. I could resist, but there was no threat of losing it. No, resisting only prompted him to find the weakness in the exterior of my resolve. It was all a game; a worthy pursuit. And none of it was based on any of my abilities or _in_ abilities. For some strange fucking reason yet unknown to me he just wanted me.

When Kch'lo finished washing I followed him out, but instead of standing by while he oiled his hair or fastened a loincloth around his waist, I went to that side room with the universal view of deep space. Sitting in the fullness of its endless boundaries I no longer felt imprisoned. Before, I felt compelled to break free of my cage because the object of my desire was somewhere in the folds of this dark ocean, but now that object was resting in a box and with a little bit of convincing, very soon the headboard. The emptiness in my womb was now filled with the sweet wine of revenge, but it wouldn't quench my thirst for blood very long. There was another that needed the attention of my determined hands; the purposeful movement of my fingers that would pluck those haughty eyes from their sockets before peeling away a set of lips that had poisoned the thoughts of a Yautja whose head, now void of those murderous thoughts, now belonged to me.

Kch'lo entered and sat down beside me. The sweet scent of the oil massaged into the organic tendrils spilling down over his shoulders filled my nostrils pleasantly. The gold bands clasped with irregularity around each matted coil gleamed under the low light above us. I had never really looked at Kch'lo. My eyes had always tried to avoid his, preferring the floor in fear of what his deeply penetrating eyes would uncover in my soul. But now that I was really looking at him, studying his visage as if to imbed even the smallest of details into the core of my memory, I found myself rather partial to his aged features. He had more charm than the proverbial silver fox.

"What does Exia think?"

I had been in such a daze his voice startled me. "Think of what?"

"H'ko. What does Exia think _about_?"

 _What the hell do I not think about?_

But for now: "Atonement."

Kch'lo turned his upper body toward me and although I was seated beside him, his massive form enveloping my vision caused ribbons of energy to flutter across my chest. He made me nervous but at the same time I couldn't bear to recoil from his looming presence.

"Is sufficient compensation?"

My hand trembled momentarily before reaching out and placing it on his thigh. "If you mean His'tgar, then yes, but more than sufficient. But I do not only think of his atonement or Dalani's. I also think of my own."

Kch'lo angled his head. "What crime has Exia committed?"

I laughed lightly, though it was with a measure of bitterness. "You wouldn't understand."

"H'ko?"

"Ooman emotions are complicated. _Female_ emotions even worse." Ugh, the fucking shame I felt. What I had said and done in protest of his good intentions was the equivalent of turning down a handshake from a homeless person because they are perceived to be morally and physically contagious. But under all that dirt and grime was a heart only trying to connect with another. I had been as judgmental of him as the Elders had been of me.

"Must atone." I slid my hand over his and intertwined my fingers with his. Then I stood and tugged at him gently to follow me.

I brought him to the foot of the bed and placed my hands on his shoulders, but even on my tippy toes he still towered over my five foot nothingness. Perceiving that I wanted to be eye level with him, he lowered himself slightly. Once his face was close to mine I lowered my feet to the floor and reached my hands behind my neck. I kept his steady, observant eyes as I untied the cords of my covering, letting them slip down over my shoulders. I pinched the sides of the pelt and shimmied it down over my hips until it fell loosely at my feet.

I brought his hand to my heart. "Don't break."

Kch'lo withdrew his hand and then balled it into a fist. "Kch'lo nrak'ytara."

Either he was oblivious that I no longer had on any pants in which to charm off or he really considered it his job to be the 'guardian' of my heart. But either way, my pants were off and he could guard my little heart to his heart's content.

I slid my fingers alongside his face and curled my thumbs around his lower mandibles, pulling his face toward mine. As if instinctually aware of my intentions his mandibles splayed open and his inner mouth parted. He placed one hand on the back of my head and the other against the small of my back, pulling me against his body as our mouths met. His mandibles rested gently alongside the hollow of my cheeks, but even if I wanted to break away from – which I definitely didn't – the foursome of appendages held me firmly in their embrace. His tongue slid forward and he traced the opening of my mouth, caressing my lower lip before pushing inside and exploring my rounded tongue with the forked narrowness of his own.

He pressed his hand against my back forcefully, unsatisfied by the little distance between us, and I felt the swell of growing excitement. I melted against him, pushing against him to feel the hardness beneath the thin fabric that kept the throbbing pull at the core of my thighs from being filled. I lowered my hand from his shoulder and brought it just below his abdomen, my fingers curling over the edge of his loincloth, but suddenly he withdrew his tongue and his mandibles released me from their firm hold.

 _Fuck. Too soon?_

"C'nlip?"

My guarded expression morphed into confusion.

"C'nlip…To numb."

"Uh uh," I said matter-of-fact. "I want to feel every inch of you."

I wanted to feel every last inch. In fact, I fully expected to feel the last inch of him in my throat.

"Will hurt."

"N'got...If you think you can." I smiled coyly.

But the smile didn't last very long as he clapped his hands on my hips and drove me back against the wall, startling me - the way you know shit just got real serious, but in best worst way possible. He knelt down and slid his hand underneath my thigh, lifting it so that my foot was on his shoulder. He then pressed his hand against the soft flesh above my already aroused crease and I arched my back to fully meet his mouth.

His tongue only increased the wetness of my folds, using his tongue in an upward curling motion so that he could taste every drop my body offered as it prepared itself for the crowning pleasure that waited beneath his loincloth. I slid my fingers into the coils of his hair and bunched them into a clenched fists as if to anchor myself amidst a raging storm. When his tongue pushed inside I doubled over and groaned achingly, but his hand shot up against my stomach and pushed me back against the wall.

I moved my foot from his shoulder and slid to the side against the wall, breaking connection with his tongue to my utter, though fleeting disappointment. I smiled playfully as he watched me intensely, that spark of challenge I had just ignited visible in his narrowed eyes.

I sat on the edge of the bed and parted my legs, leaning my elbows against my thighs, still taunting him with a smile and eyes that dared him to prove that he could hurt me. He had spared me before but now I wanted to feel every painful twist and thrust so that after we woke up after having passed out from the exertion of our passion I could still feel every tender place that had been met by the unrestrained fury of his meeting my challenge.

I tilted my head to meet his eyes as he towered over me. As he leaned forward I slowly dropped back, lifting my legs and hooking them around his hips. His fingers slipped into my hair and he held my head, lowering his mouth to the crook of my neck and grazing it with his left tusk. I craned my neck to give him more access, groaning softly as he positioned himself between my legs.

"Kch'lo..." I begged him in one breathy gasp, but he already knew my body was begging him. I writhed beneath him, my hips fighting against his firm control.

"C'nlip?" He trilled mockingly.

I grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked it. _"H'ko."_

"N'got." He purred before trailing his hand down my body and gripping the side of my thigh.

As he pressed against the apex of my legs I held my breath. A sharp pain filled me and I cried out, my hands shooting out to his shoulders and digging into them.

He trilled again. "Only tip...C'nlip?"

I bit down on my lower lip and shook my head furiously.

 _Fuck, he was huge._

He pulled out and flipped me onto my side and positioned his body against mine. Hooking his arm under my right leg he entered again, but this time the pain accompanying it went deeper until he had filled me to the hilt. My lungs felt void of air as I waited breathlessly for my body to loosen and relax around him. He lowered his face to my ear and purred softly, letting me know he was pleased while comforting me at the same time. He pushed forward before slowly sliding back, repeating the movement several times so that the pain would lessen the more he stretched me.

He whispered to me again, but I didn't want his numbing c'nlip. I knew he wasn't teasing me anymore and he only offered because the swell of the pain was immense, but I wanted this and if I had lived through a blade in my gut, I could certainly survive the one vertically penetrating me now.

After what seemed like an eternity of his tender pushes my body began to respond to the size of him with a convulted mixture of pain and anticipation. Slowly the burning throb of unworked muscle weakened and when he withdrew I braced for a pain I slowly began to welcome. My body eased against the bed and my stiff leg relaxed in his grip, but now that he had broken through the tightness he rolled me onto my back and positioned himself over me again.

"H'ko c'nlip," he said softly, almost admiringly.

 _I was gonna take all of him without a single drop._

I placed my hands on his shoulders and met his slow but forceful thrusts, rocking my hips to meet the measure of his pace.

Kch'lo had taken me before, but feeling it this time without the body numbing effects of his c'nlip made it feel like the very first time. Kch'lo satisfied a deep, primal urge buried in the abyss of my inexperience, stroking the layers of untouched sexual desire, heightening them so that they penetrated and encapsulated every nerve and fiber of my being before pushing me to the precipice of my immaturity with the intent to hurl me over its callow edge that had kept me from feeling the sensations of raw pleasure that had been watered down by Kal'ar's teasing ministrations.

Kch'lo reigned in the torrent of my emotions by keeping his eyes on mine, speaking to the depths of unrestraint that smoldered and threatened to tear my focus away from the measured affection he regaled me with; keeping me centered by barring my body from escaping his onslaught of gratification before I was truly ready. My body had reached the peak of pleasure and begged him in quivers and shudders to indulge the swell of suspense that filled the center of my thighs, but whenever my head tipped back to welcome the genesis of my climax he broke his rythmic gyrating to pull me back from the edge.

I fought against him as he eclipsed my swelling orgasm, but I was helpless to override the pace of his his steady hips. He was intent on keeping me enraptured by the expanse of unindulged sensuality.

"Kch'lo!" My voice was a whimper, strained by the rigid constraints of desperation.

He purred deeply, lowering his mouth to the hollow of my throat and deftly dragging his tusk along its vulnerable flesh. I dug my fingers deeper into his shoulder, losing myself in its torturous sensations.

I was sinking into an abyss I was sure he was going to leave me to drown in. The more I protested the firmer his resolve became to exert control over me. There was no denying he was the more dominant, but if this was my reward for yielding to him I would never again so much as even bat an eye at him.

And then my thoughts turned to how I could get him to do this to me every night, all night, for the rest of my short human life.

"Kch'lo..." I brougt my hand to his face and his to my heart, focusing keeping my eyes on his, fighting the urge to let them roll into the back of my head with each new wave of pain obscured by promiscuity he delivered. I pressed his hand harder against my heart. "Aseigan."

I'd be his fucking slave for life.

"Bpi-de!" I begged.

 _End this please!_

In one fell swoop he hooked his arm behind my back and lifted me without breaking connection as he shifted onto to his knees. Propping me up with one hand pressed underneath my thigh and another against the center of my back he grinded against me mercilessly and when I reached the edge of climaxing he did not slow to extinguish it, but moved against me so that the friction against the nub crowning my sex propelled me into the throes of a powerful orgasm that sent my body into uncontrollable spasms; my throat emitting a chorus of breathless gasps.

After the overwhelming tendrils of raw, unabashed pleasure unfurled and then receded, a stream of warmth filled me and I lowered my mouth to his shoulder, sinking my teeth into his rough skin to intensify his own climax. He emitted a deep rumble, but rather than dropping me onto the bed to stop the sharp pain of my bite he gathered my hair in his fist and pressed my mouth against him harder.

When his body stilled he lowered me down onto the bed and gently withdrew himself from me. Breathless and enamored, I laughed lightly, reaching out to touch the coils of his hair that had become a tangled mess in the fury of our momentous, unfiltered coupling.

"Guess I hurt you more," I mused with a playful smile, motioning toward the bite marks on his shoulder that leaked droplets of bright green blood.

Kch'lo trilled, but shook his head. "H'ko." He slid his hand between my thighs and I gasped, thinking he was moving to have another go at me, but when he brought his hand back to me I saw the telltale color of my body's own injury.

 _But damn it had felt good._

"Okay, you win."

He purred and ran his fingers along my thigh. "Always."


	16. Chapter 16 - Scent

_Guest: Hope you're reading this as a response to your review to Chp. 15. I am glad you enjoyed their gentle (ha!)_ _affections. First step before whooping ass: a little game playing._

 _Tenfangirl: The Bitch def picked the wrong side!_

 _DorkySoul: Thank you for your review. Will def keep her from being a Mary Sue. B/c who wants to read that shit?_

 _Sunstreaker's Squishy: Thank you for your review and Im glad you enjoyed it. She's still got a lot headed her way,_ _lots of learning to do, but now she's got 2 badass Yautja at her side - G and K._

 _Vivida: Me. Too.!_

 _ToxieDoxie: I think with Chp 16 you'll see why it had to go in a diff direction. Just had to. Would have been_ _cruel of me to let her stay with Kal'ar. But thank you for reading regardless of the turns!_

 _JunogawaKing: :-) I wish I had a Yautja to bring me some heads in a box! As to the brothers, I allude to it somewhat_ _in chap 16. Thank you for your appreciation of their mating...I blushed myself!_

 _peachdreams26: Thank you so much! It was damn hard describing it. Seriously. It must come naturally for others. Makes me_ _jealous. But I thank you for appreciating my efforts :-)_

 _KATT9033: Thank you for enjoying. Karma is a biotch, and isnt a respecter of persons (or Yautja)_

 _FutureEnchantments: Glad you enjoyed! I wrote it while being 'snowed in'. Well, it was supposed to be the_ _blizzard of 2017 but wasn't much more than fluff. I would have loved to have put the heart in there, but then_ _where could Exia hang it and stare at it for hours on end? :-)_

 _Tenjp: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy chp 16!_

 **A/N: Hope you enjoy Chapter 16...the next will pick up where I left off with Exia's plans for His'tgar's brain matter and Gikvaris' ceremony. But I need some time fleshing out the next so stay tuned. And PS: I have to use WordPad over the weekends so if you see any spelling errors, please let me know. Even the FF editor isn't spellchecking accurately.**

 **** Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't make a profit. I do own my own characters though.**

* * *

I collapsed beside Kch'lo, jealous of his stamina to endure our morning romp without a trace of the breathlessness that plagued my aching lungs. But in my own defense, I had climbed up into the saddle this time and it was damn hard to scale the legnth of him. I might as well have been straddling a maypole.

He had been content to satisfy the fresh wave of arousal I met him with upon opening my eyes. It just couldn't be helped. When I opened my hazy eyes, let them trail down his body, and I saw that thick appendage of his, my insides constricted at the recent, vivid memory of the ecstasy it filled me with only hours before. Knowing now that a Yautja never sleeps I didn't feel too badly about disturbing him by mounting myself on top of him like I was King Kong on top of the Empire State Building. Even better was when his hands crept up to my waist and pinned me there so that now I didn't have a choice. Thank the lord he didn't give me a choice.

He moved from the bed and nodded his head for me to follow him.

"Should I get dressed?"

"Sei-i."

But I didn't want to get dressed. I wanted to retreive my recently gifted trophy and get to work on peeling back the layers of its flesh; using my fingers to penetrate the lining of His'tgar's brain as he had used his blade to penetrate the lining of my womb. I'd bring my prize into Kch'lo's fancy jacuzzi and splatter so much meat and tissue against the walls it would put the bloody slaughter of Texas Chainsaw Massacre to shame.

"Where are we going?" It was hard to tear myself away from the thought of breathing life into my impending visionary masterpiece, but I _needed_ to know what kept me from fulfilling my sick, inward desires.

"Suon'var has come to collect."

 _Suon'var...Now where had I heard that name before?_

Kch'lo took a firm stance as if sensing my hesitation and unvoiced protest. He ticked rapidly, his upper tusk striking the lower to make the sound that was a subtle warning.

"Can I at least fresh up?" I ran my fingers through my hair. "This isn't bed head. This is 'just pauked' hair."

I could literally feel the heat from his eyes.

"Okay, okay," I said demurely.

He jerked his head to the side, motioning toward my covering still on the floor where after having abandoned it he blessedly rewarded me. I slinked over to it, aware that his eyes were following me to ensure I wasn't dawdling. Once I slipped it over my head, satisfied I was compliant, he went into the washroom the collect the scattered pieces of his armor. I sat on the edge of the bed to tie my coverings and remained there even when he returned to simply watch him.

Whether or not he was aware that I was ogling him, admiring the layers of durable armor that made him positively lethal - though he was lethal all the same without it - and the cape that trailed behind him, he impassively continued to tend to the many facets of his paraphenalia without regarding my rumination from the opposite side of the room. He didn't fully suit himself, but wore his abdomen shield (above that irrisistible, thin layer of fabric I'd be just as happy to see him lose...permanently), his greaves, and spaulders. I couldn't figure out why I was mezmerized by the sight of him. I had seen him fully dressed and fully undressed. He also looked the same weeks earlier when I inwardly died every time he even glanced my way.

"You are restless." He turned and met my pensive gaze.

"I've just been sitting here this whole time..."

"Your body speaks without words."

 _Oh. He's doing that thing again._

I wrestled with answering him in a manner that wouldn't turn his eyes into energy flechettes.

"Really want to give my kurn skull a companion." I winced, one eye closing as if bracing for another heated scowl.

When he crossed the room my entire body stiffened. Sure, he had certainly buttered me up twice in the span of a few hours, but I had the sense to know better than to mistake his carnality with pliability. I was still keenly aware that I was, after all, an object in which to keep a tight leash on. _His_ object.

"Preening must wait. Suon'var must not."

"Kch'lo." I left the bed and stood before him, trying to fight the inward draw to shy away from him when he was no longer laying vulnerably beside me. "I...I want to show Ayida."

He trilled but permitted me to continue.

"Show her how to do it."

"Why?" His curiosity piqued.

"It's an ooman thing. Like how the Yautja have hunt brothers. We," I gestured at myself, "have best friends. And best friends share everything."

He trilled mischeivously.

"Except that...Or you." I eyed him crossly.

I wasn't sharing him for shit.

We left the room and I followed at his side into that dark chamber that housed a committee of Elders. There were several Yautja in their midst I did not recognize. The markings etched into their armor was different than 'my' clan's armor and those who were of high rank wore dark red capes rather than the deep purple of Kch'lo's.

Though highly decorated, a visibly younger Yautja approached Kch'lo and they greeted each other with a respectful shake of the shoulder. When he finally noticed me - my five foot nothingness beside a towering grizzly bear - his entire body tensed and he turned his head sideways as if repulsed by the mere sight of me.

"Lou-dte," he intoned plainly.

Kch'lo stepped aside to give the Yautja a better look at me.

"What's he saying?" My voice was almost a whisper.

"Would not want to know." Kch'lo trilled.

 _"Would,"_ I replied firmly, a twinge of irritation in my tone.

"Unpleasant term for female."

 _Fuck. I didn't even know him and already he is insulting me._

I inched as close to Kch'lo as he would allow, aware that he was intent in allowing this Yautja to soak in Kch'lo's evening (and morning) conquest mingled with my estrus.

"Have taught lou-dte Yautja?"

Kch'lo chirred, imploring me to regale this sonuvabitch with something - anything - V had taught me. But Gikvaris' language lessons had been far more endearing.

"Ell-osde pauk...?" I said it as if playing dumb, but I sure as shit knew what it meant.

 _Yeah. That's right. Fuck you, buddy._

The new guy's whirring drowned out Kch'lo's building rumble.

"Kha'bj-te aseigan!"

He drew a great amount of amusement from whatever word he had just inserted in front of 'servant' before turning with the implication for Kch'lo to accompany him.

I took one look at Kch'lo and just _knew_ I'd regret my sass later.

"Follow." He issued a low, multi-tonal growl before turning his back to me and following the new guy.

I trailed him like my life depended on it, so close I feared my feet would step on his cape and snap him back like a rubberband. When we reached the steps leading up to the platform that elevated Kal'ar's high-back chair he pointed at the bottom step. Without hesitation I parked my ass on it and kept my eyes on my feet. My attempt to show this newcomer that I had a spine - one he could easily rip out if so inclined - had soured Kch'lo's mood.

The chamber door opened and Kal'ar strode in, ignoring the Elders and greeting the new guy with a fervent shoulder shake. I lowered my eyes to my feet again but was keenly aware that as he stepped up to scale the steps to _his_ platform he stopped to regard me. I felt his observant glare, but was reluctant to meet it head on. Instead I gently lifted my eyes, my head still lowered, and noted his flaring mandibles and the gentle hiss that rolled off of the tongue he once used to regale me only in playful torture. By now if he hadn't noticed the thick scent between my legs he surely took notice of the light abrasions on my trapezius from the gentle petting of Kch'lo's elongated tusk.

"Lou-dte," the new guy affirmed.

He had no clue as to our sordid history together.

"H'ko," Kal'ar said plainly. And then in a language I would understand him, he corrected: "Pet."

"Sei-i?" New Guy turned to Kch'lo. "Ooman pet, Kch'lo?"

 _I can under-fucking-stand you!_

"Dachande," Kch'lo replied.

 _Why is he calling me 'Different Knife'?_

And then it hit me. That thing Ayida tried warning me about. The feud between actual mei'hswes. Back when Kal'ar didn't sugarcoat the fact that I belonged to him, he had observed me in the kehrite with Gikvaris and called me 'da'dtou-di', meaning 'Little Knife'. It was a pet name, really, though sort of a compliment considering I went from 'ooman' to something with a little more bite. Something that said I had gone up a notch since training with Gikvaris. I guess this was another one of Kch'lo's subliminal insults, calling me 'knife' all the same, but throwing in a curt reminder that I was _different._ No longer _Kal'ar's_ 'knife'. Not that New Guy would understand, but it was a gibe Kch'lo clearly intended Kal'ar to understand and knowingly take personal.

 _Leave me the fuck out of this._

Albeit only flaring mandibles, narrowed eyes, and raised hackles, the silent standoff was nerve-racking. It reminded me of when I had sucker punched Dalani. I lived to regret it afterwards. Not because I had done wrong, but because I should have sent a more clear message: don't fuck with my man Kal'ar. But instead I let her off easy and it turned and bit me in the ass down in the lower level. Kch'lo was chastizing Kal'ar for not sending a distinct message to the eta through ordering His'tgar's execution, the failure of which might have one day prompted other eta to act similarly without fear of any resultant consequences. Had I done the same with Dalani and proved right then and there that I was not to be fucked with, my babymaker would still be fully intact. And Kch'lo's subtle correction was a vivid reminder of what could be lost to inattentiveness or inaction.

New Guy inserted himself between Kch'lo and Kal'ar and hovered too close to my liking. He hunched his back to bring his face down closer to mine.

"Val-u-ble ooman." His high-pitched warbling, like a songbird, was beauty befitting a cage. A nice big cage I could cover with a towel when I no longer wanted to hear him chirp at my expense.

"Shame ooman reek of Kch'lo h'dui'se." He emitted one of those mischievious trills Kch'lo had given me back in the room at the thought of an ooman-Yautja threesome. He elevated his head to Kch'lo. "When ty-erd of ooman, Suon'var make fair trade." After making sure I could understand his garbled human speech he looked down at me to make sure I also understood the implication.

Kal'ar shifted as if to intervene, but before I could determine if he meant to pick a fight with this smug bastard (which really would have been another mind game to play with me) Kch'lo closed the gap between us and stole New Guy's attention.

Good. Didn't want it anywany.

Kch'lo spoke to New Guy and I didn't care to translate. I was just happy Kch'lo had shut him the fuck up and drawn his attention away from me. But when New Guy looked down in unabashed bewilderment, I sort of wished I had been paying more attention. Nevertheless, he moved away and Kal'ar continued up his marbelized steps.

And that was the last of New Guy's attempts to steal me away from Kch'lo. It wasn't like he had a chance anyway. I'm sure Kch'lo would be hard-pressed to turn over his living trophy, but even if he could be convinced to negate his lordship to another I wouldn't be going anywhere with _that_ Yautja. Sure, he'd get as far as walking my ass out to the loading dock before I opened a hatch and hurled myself out into deep space. No more changing hands. Twice was already too many times.

I sat on the base of the steps for hours while New Guy and his horde engaged Kal'ar, Kch'lo, and the Elders. I knew why Kch'lo was making me sit here. He wanted to show me off like a shiny new toy. I wasn't ashamed at the smell that permeated the room and made a damn good impression as to who I really belonged to, but I would have preferred the speed of strolling down the hall to accomplish the same over sitting here in utter misery with their staccato chatter I was indifferent to following. Whatever this meeting was about it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

Hours tortorously crept by before the door opened and with it a fresh of breath air. The Yautja regarded him for a moment before dismissing his insentience as V strolled over toward me.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" I was smug, but I was thrilled to have his company. I missed the impertinent bastard.

"I have been summoned to assist transporting the eggs from the lower level to the loading dock."

Ahh...So Suon'var was that soon-to-be clan leader in search of eggs Kal'ar had met with not long ago. It made sense why New Guy was so cocky. He had a name to make for himself.

"So what's he get out of this?" I tilted my head back nonchalantly to the brooding Yautja still sitting in his high-back chair.

"Kal'ar? Well not all Yautja clanships are equipped to house xenomorph queens and it is a rather diffiult undertaking to entrust them to the seclusion of a private reserve. All Yautja require eggs for their chivas so if a clan is unable to house a queen on their ship they must offer a worthy trade to obtain them."

"Ah..." But my curiosity was anything but piqued. Seemed all rather barbaric to me.

"Trades typically center around weapons or exclusive hunting seasons on choice preserves, but as this clan already has their own preserves and an extensive amount of armaments, Suon'var must offer what this clan does not have."

"And that is?" Now my curiosity was piqued. Sure as hell behaved like a rollercoaster.

"A Yautja female."

 _Good God._

"Will enable Kal'ar to have pure Yautja pups."

I was seething. That motherfucker had been entertaining this idea way before my womb had been sliced through like lunchmeat.

"The exchange will be permanent. One Yautja female for a limitless supply of eggs. Suon'var's clan has three Yautja females and a sizeable amount of humans to use while in the off-breeding season. While the trade will be of little detriment to Suon'var's clan it is an invaluable trade for Kal'ar's."

And then my glare turned on Kch'lo. That motherfucker must have known, too. As subtle as his hints had been he could have at least just come straight out with it. Might have curtailed my determination to be numero uno. And eventually I could have made my peace with welping another Yautja's pups.

"V...I love you dearly. Damn if I don't. But _every time_ you come around I learn something I wish I could have lived and died never knowing about."

V put his hand on my shoulder and an immediate bark clapped out across the room, prompting him to remove it straightaway. At least it was nice to know that after all these hours Kch'lo still hadn't forgotten about me.

"It is better this way, Exia. Yautja females are fiercely competitive and rife with jealously. Had Kal'ar kept you as his pet I imagine a challenge would have immediately been issued and despite all of your training you would be no match for her."

I wasn't even going to disagree. If these Yautja females had even a quarter of the ferocity V described I would have been in deep shit. Shit up to my eyeballs.

"Well _good._ I'm glad Don Juan up there gets his fairytale ending. Now he can leave me the fuck alone."

V shifted uncomfortably as if trying to resist the urge to reach out and soothe my unsettledness as he had with regularity in times past. But he couldn't touch me anymore. At least not around Kch'lo. Kal'ar had the sense to know that V didn't have a scent that would threaten intermingling with his, but Kch'lo's bitchiness stemmed deeper than the protection of his potent h'dui'se.

"You did much with the little you were given," V said. "You were plucked from your society and tossed into another and in spite of your many misunderstandings and setbacks you did exceedingly well. You were chosen because of your demonstrated mercy toward an unguarded female and its unborn child even if by doing so would bring about your own death. That, along with your determination to understand your environment, made you more than just a desirable bearer."

 _Yeah. I'm aware. See that Yautja over there giving you a death stare? I. Am. Aware._

"Your only flaw was in seeking a human relationship with Kal'ar. They live and die by a rigid code which will always trump personal gratification. Ensuring the success of a clan is of utmost priority. It was better that Gikvaris intervened on your behalf and rescued you from the torment a pet belonging to Kal'ar would have to endure."

"Shame he didn't pick Dalani. Seeing her suffer a Yautja female's jealousy on a daily basis would have been epic."

But then after realizing that I would have been robbed of the joy of making her suffer myself, I reconsidered. If anyone had a bone to pick with Dalani it was me.

* * *

I was off the hook for now from broadcasting Kch'lo's sweaty claim over me, but I knew it would only be temporary. Suon'var and his troupe were permitted to load their ships with the kainde amedha eggs after a deal had been reached, but that didn't mean he was leaving as fast as I would have liked to have seen. He would be sticking around at least for tonight to celebrate his success and rejoice in Kal'ar's as well. So I was happy to be let off my leash for the time being so that I could finally get some R&R with His'tgar's head.

Kch'lo took me to see Gikvaris who I had entrusted with the safety of my most prized possession. When we entered the kehrite the two Yautja sparring on the mat paused and gave forceful draws of their fists against their chests to greet their Arbitrator. Kch'lo returned their respectful gesture and motioned for them to continue their match. I imagine that after first becoming an Arbitrator he must have basked in the respect he received from others, but now it seemed he regarded the constant wave of reverence rather impassively as if it had lost its charm. What I would have given to have been the HBIC back home...and it would never have lost its charm.

Gikvaris crossed the room with my box in his hands, but when I approached him his entire body stiffened and his head turned sideways as if repulsed by what he saw.

Kch'lo's hand smoothed out around the back of my neck. "N'got."

"Oh..." As much as I wanted to make a proud display of mine and Kch'lo's intense mating I didn't want to repel Gikvaris by it. And apparently my scent and Kch'lo's scent on me had permeated the room, causing the two Un-blooded Yautja on the mat to cringe in the same fashion as Gikvaris.

Slowly I bent over and picked up my box, sneaking a glance at Gikvaris before stepping away. If Kch'lo and I were going to make our mating a nightly event - well, not 'if' because I wouldn't allow otherwise - I'd be sure to give myself a proper scrubbing for Gikvaris' sake. No way was I going to have _my_ hunt brother find my presence utterly repugnant, especially when the bulk of our interaction involved being intertwined and swinging about reminiscent of an eagle's death spiral.

I wanted to ask Gikvaris what had happened after I left my box of goodies in the hall, but I didn't want Kch'lo to think I was indirectly asking about the impression it left on Kal'ar. Wasn't about to add to his irritation after my little quip directed at an allied future clan leader. I also wasn't about to sour his benevolent, nighttime mood. I had a hankering to have him again before dinner. And maybe after. Had quite a bit of steam to blow off.

"Is Gikvaris pleased to rise in rank?"

Gikvaris nodded reverently.

"Prepared to take a horde of Un-blooded under your tutelage?"

"Wait, what?!" I suddenly found myself in a panic. "Gikvaris, you're not leaving the ship are you?" I shook my head. "No, no you can't because - "

Kch'lo slid his arm across my back. "Gikvaris has been honored. You must honor him also."

 _Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck._

"Suon'var will have the pleasure of witnessing your ceremony tonight," Kch'lo said before turning. Turning me with him even as I dug my heels into the ground.

As we left the kehrite my thoughts swirled with grief and anger and apprehension. I didn't want to lose Gikvaris. By the time he finished raising his Yautja babies in the decades it took to do so I'd be long dead.

I put the brakes on in the hall. "Kch'lo...I want you to make Gikvaris stay."

"Sei-i?" His mandibles clicked rapidly. "Do you think Gikvaris would be pleased?"

I huffed. "I don't care. Make him stay."

I'd even consider breaking his legs so that he couldn't leave. Or chaining him up like that kainde amedha queen. Or right next to it.

"Cannot," Kch'lo said, the mild irritation he had carried with him from his meeting with Suon'var disappearing. I guess he found the heart I wore on my sleeve a tad amusing.

"I'll do that thing with my tongue that you like."

Kch'lo reached out and tucked the hair that had fallen over my eye behind my ear. "Will do anyway."

 _Yeah, you're right. Time for Plan B._

But I didn't have a Plan B. I couldn't offer him anything he didn't already have or I wouldn't be aroused into giving him.

So I begged.

"Please, Kch'lo. Don't let him leave. Give him something else important to do around here. Isn't training your mate important enough...?"

"Sei-i, but Kch'lo instructed Gikvaris. Kch'lo more than able to instruct mate."

Not that it wasn't temping to have my badass Yautja teach me all the dirty secrets of his success, but it still didn't make me feel any less opposed to Gikvaris leaving. I mean, Kch'lo was the master's master, but the master wasn't bedding me. What I had with Gikvaris was platonic and pure. It was refreshing to have a Yautja in my life that didn't see me as a walking hole in which to grace by filling. Besides, Kch'lo wouldn't be able to teach me much if I couldn't keep my hands off of him. Or my clothes on.

Still sour, I drudgingly toted my box beside him further down the hall and into the lower level of the ship. Kch'lo took me to what I would equate to Manhattan's Meatpacking District where all the swinging bodies of rjet wound up as _strips_ of rjet on our plates. Not bothering to fill me in on all the goings on around me as V would have, he took me to a sterile room with a drain in the center of the floor and metal tables against each wall. I guess he figured if I had dismantled His'tgar's head in his room I would be careful not to make such a mess, but if Ayida was watching I would probably show off. He was right. I would make a mess just to show Ayida what wicked fun it was to slash and tear at your enemy's head.

I stepped inside the room and set the box down on the floor, looking back at Kch'lo who remained standing in the doorway.

"Will send for ooman Ayida."

"You're not staying?"

"H'ko. Eta will bring kit for skull."

I stared at him wildly. Did he not know these fingers had torn bare flesh from my kurn skull?

"Don't need kit." I held up my hands. "Have these."

Kch'lo's chest vibrated with a mixture of amusement and irritation. I was a persistent little ooman, as Gikvaris could attest to.

"Do what pleases you. Only...if ooman Ayida faints from the sight of it and Shunlau brings me his grievances I will reprimand you sorely for it."

I snickered lightly. "How sore? Like, can't walk in the morning sore or - "

All amusement gone, he rumbled and I put up the white flags of my hands. "Okay, okay. I get it. I'll use the kit."

* * *

Ayida hadn't fainted at the sight of my peeling away His'tgar's stinking flesh. In fact, in a daring display of curiosity Ayida touched the remnants on the floor with unreserved infatuation. Never mind that whatever blood remained on my inner thighs from Kch'lo's furious ramming had been diminished by the dark green blood all over my legs as I sat pretzel style on the floor with His'tgar's head propped against the sides of my calves. She was just as in tune with my savage crafting as I was.

God his hide seemed glued to that big ass skull of his and I was second guessing my decision not to use the kit the eta brought me. The one I promised Kch'lo I would use. The one I couldn't bear to use over my fingers. My womb would just decry the dismantling of his flesh with anything other than my 'weak ooman' digits.

"You think you can get Kch'lo to convince Shunlau to take me to a preserve when I'm retired?" She poked at a heap of brain matter that had spilled out from underneath the base of his uncovered skull. "I am starting to think I would be of much better use cleaning Shunlau's kills than watching him polish them."

I was sure she could. Her fingers could work wonders with hair. I laughed, but I imagine I looked more menacing than a psychopath when I did. Here I was sitting on a metal plated floor with a mutilated head in my lap that oozed blood like ribbons of kelp, a grin as wide and wicked as any Jack Nicholson had given.

"You'll have to give me a few pointers in bed to warm him up to the idea." I could definitely use some tips if I ever wanted to have a Plan B.

"When Gikvaris returned your box did he tell you what happened in the hall after you left?" Although she had changed the direction of our conversation she was still curiously prodding the growing pile of discarded flesh beside me.

Ugh, thinking of Gikvaris was like pouring salt in a wound.

"No. Didn't have time to chat. He was too busy trying to stuff his nostrils with something better to smell than me."

"Exia...even _I_ can smell you."

I shot her a look. "You're also pregnant. Doesn't that mean you have the nose of a bloodhound?"

Ayida smiled. "Yes, but if I am a bloodhound, what is a Yautja?"

Without hesistation: "A shark."

"I meant sense of smell. Not what animal would describe their voracious appetite."

"A shark. For both."

I let out a shriek of accomplishment when I finally peeled back His'tgar's connective tissue.

"Well, in any event...What you did to Dalani's image must have been a bitter pill for the Elders to swallow. And even more bitter for Kal'ar to swallow. She was practically foaming at the mouth after you left."

"Oh, so she acted all big and bad _after_ I left, huh?"

"Of course. Wouldn't you try to save face after getting chumped out like that? And do you not think the Elders can now see through her tough façade?"

 _Wouldn't surprise me if they didn't. They are as crotchety and stubborn as senior citizens_.

"And the look on Kal'ar's face...Wish you could have seen it."

As much as I didn't want it to, it piqued my interest.

"Well since I didn't you'll just have to fill me in on all the juicy details."

Ayida came around and sat down on the opposite side of the drain to face me. It took her some time to get into a comfortable position. It appeared she would pop that pup out any day now, though I knew it would be months before that would be even remotely healthy.

"No secret that Kch'lo and Kal'ar have been feuding long before you arrived. You have any brothers or sisters?"

I shook my head 'no'. But I did. I just didn't know him so in my mind it didn't count as having one.

"Well I do so I can certainly understand the competition between the two of them. I am sure Kch'lo would have given you His'tgar's head regardless, but presenting it to you in front of Kal'ar says a lot about the subliminal message he was trying to send."

Well I kind of figured that after the way the two of them had acted today. But even if I thought I had closed in on the meaning of the subliminal message behind Kch'lo's actions, I had been wrong before. _Very_ wrong.

"Shunlau and his big words...Just when I think he has the brain of a caveman he goes and starts sounding all proper..." She sighed. "I digress...Shunlau believes that bringing you His'tgar's head in front of any Yautja that matters was to highlight Kal'ar's failure to rule with an iron fist. If Kch'lo did not set things right other eta might get the idea it is okay to hurt an ooman. Avenging you may not have changed that you would never bear his pups, but at least Kal'ar could have demonstrated that the bearers of their future warriors are to be regarded with respect." Her brow raised in speculation. "Me and the girls are sure glad he set things right..."

I hadn't considered that aspect. Kch'lo had done right by me, but infinitely more right by the girls. Since the girls didn't belong to any Yautja in particular outside of breeding, who would avenge them if they were assaulted?

But as to all of Kal'ar and Kch'lo's brotherly warring, I shrugged. "Doesn't matter why he did it or in front of who. At the end of the day I have what I want right here." I patted His'tgar's sticky tissue proudly.

Staring down at the mess around me I was struck with a wild, wonderful, sick idea.

"Wanna have some fun with all this?"

Ayida stared at me blankly.

"I'd really hate to see this go to waste seeing how I can't take it with me. I think I'd give Kch'lo a heart attack if I stuffed all of this shit in a jar and put it on one of his shelves...And since I'm not done with sending Dalani my own subliminal message I think I have the perfect idea..."

A deliciously wicked smile crept across Ayida's face, worse than the one I wore on mine.

Game on.

* * *

I stepped out of the washroom and ran my fingers through my damp hair. It felt good to wash the glops of dried blood and tissue off of my legs and arms and then walk out to His'tgar's hollowed sockets staring back at me from the edge of the bed. As I adjusted my covering the door opened and Kch'lo entered, staring wildly at His'tgar's skull before staring equally as wild at me.

"What have you done?"

 _Shit. I should have asked._

"I was really hoping we could hang it above the bed so that - "

Kch'lo growled and pointed at me. "You have washed."

"Well...what was I supposed to do? I literally had chunks of brain on me."

He was bristling. I had never seen him bristle. It made my blood go cold.

I didn't utter a single word as he crossed the room, picked me up, and carried me over to the bed. Setting me down he ran his finger along my chest to the back of my neck before giving the cords of my covering a yank, slicing right through them.

"We're going to be late for the ceremon - "

Kch'lo flipped me over onto my stomach and pushed my covering up over my hips. He pulled me back and I set my feet down on the floor, not so concerned anymore that I had disappointed him by taking a bath. As I said, I had a lot of my own steam to blow off and I'm sure he had his. I was also still riding the waves of euphoria from fleshing His'tgar's head.

I dug my fingers into the pelts and braced for the moment he forced himself inside of me. He didn't keep me waiting long, pressing his hands against my lower back and emitting a low trill as I bucked against him. I didn't even mind that there wasn't any tender affection in his movement. I was content to have him fill me so roughly that it was quite possible he would tear through my stomach. And if I was going to see Suon'var tonight at the ceremony I wanted to make sure he knew who this bitch belonged to. And who I belonged to.

But I wasn't happy with my face against the bed. I wanted to see him; to watch the way his chest tightened and his torso constricted with every thrust he delivered. I planted my hands against the bed and pushed back, putting enough space between my legs and the bed so that I could position my leg forward and use the strength of its bracing to lift my body. I knew with a gentle swipe of his hand he could easily push me back down if so inclined, but he let me stand up and turn to face him.

I gripped his hair and yanked his face toward mine, pushing my tongue into his mouth. He bit down on my lower lip gently, but enough to send a swirl of coppery blood into my mouth. So I yanked his hair harder before lifting my leg and hooking my thigh on the indentation of his hip. He lowered his mouth to the crook of my neck and used his tongue to caress my skin before a sharp twinge sent me reeling against him. I brought my hand to my neck and felt the warm wetness of blood that trailed down my neck and pooled in the impression of my clavicle.

"You're really mad at me for saying 'fuck you' to Suon'var, huh?"

Hell, I was mad at him, too. He basically knew that Kal'ar had been making arrangements to bring a Yautja female on board. How the fuck did Kch'lo expect me to feel about that? He couldn't be that dumb. V was sitting right next to me, for sweet jesus' sake. V told me _everything_ that was going.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and twirled me around, sitting down on the edge of the bed before pulling me onto his lap.

"Will not be angry for long." He pushed down on my shoulders while lifting his lower body and I gasped violently before shuddering an exhale. With one thrust he had the ability to steal the very air from my lungs.

"Was it Shunlau?" When he gave another forceful thrust I crooned. "I promise! Ayida didn't faint!"

Kch'lo's tresses flared. "Not reprimand for Suon'var or ooman Ayida. Reprimand for washing my scent from you."

"Well if you're going to do this every time I wash you'll be able to fit without even trying."

He grabbed my bottom and spread me apart, trilling in that horrible way that meant he was up to no good. "Are other parts to stretch."

My body went stiff.

 _Fuck. No._

I shook my head slowly. "Nope...Never gonna get a bath again."

His mandibles clicked furiously before using his grip on my backside to move me against him.

If it took smelling like I had been lost at sea for a decade to avoid having _that_ stretched, so help me god I wouldn't so much as step foot in the water he tracked out of his own damn bath.

* * *

 ** _Yautja Translation:_**

Kha'bj-te - reckless


	17. Chapter 17 - Kink

_Loovie: thank you so much :-)_

 _Sunstreaker's Squishy: I'm sure we can figure something out._

 _Tenfangirl: Although you will see what they did together, I didn't devote a section of the chapter to it solely. I really needed to take a break and get a bit silly with them. & as for the female Yautja, I have some plans for her :-) _

_Haylz93: Thank you! Like I said to Tenfangirl, I needed to take a break from the serious undertones of each chapter and get a bit silly with them. And I can totally picture myself doing something like this, maybe not with human body parts, but you catch my drift._

 _write more soon: Because you ask, I have written more soon_ _:-)_

 _Vivida: Loving him, huh? I do, too._

 _KATT9033: I wont get around to what Kch'lo's really up to for a few more chapters, although I don't intend to break her heart by it. Thank you for continually reading and reviewing – I hope each chapter meets your expectations_ _:-)_

 _xXWhoWantsToKnowXx: Me. Too! The more I write him, the more I love him. Hope you enjoy next chapter, even if it isn't as serious as the ones preceding it. Needed to break up the tension a little and let the girls flap their wings._

 _Tenjp: Haha! My point exactly….She'll just have to sneak a bath here or there._

 _FutureEnchantments: If you enjoyed her playing with it like play dough, I think you'll enjoy this next chap. I can only say that as for the musk, I equate it to wearing wedding rings. Something's gotta be on display to let the guys know she's taken. Although I'd prefer a ring to the musk lol._

 **A/N: This chapter is intended to be a bit light hearted and silly. Needed a break from all the wicked angles pouring in. So I hope you enjoy and can identify with sometimes doing bizarre things to have a little fun. So try not to hate...I'm working on my seriousness with Chap 18.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own Predators or any aspect of it, and don't earn a penny off what I write. Just doing it for the kicks.**

* * *

As the entire room was crammed with Yautja I remained at Kch'lo's side until the ceremony began. Three reasons: I was deliberately avoiding Suon'var who hadn't been avoiding me, at least not with his eyes; Kch'lo was determined to permeate the room with our scent as every Yautja on the ship was present; and I had the fortunate pleasure of being _naturally_ inclined to remain close to him instead of being 'enlightened' to do so. Definitely was not going to start a pissing contest with him as to who was the more dominant. Or capable of being the most intimidating. Then I was instructed to wait with 'the oomans' which basically meant to stand next to Ayida and not budge an inch until the whole thing was over and also make sure I didn't bump shoulders with another Yautja.

I watched with a strange mixture of pride and dread as Gikvaris stole the stage; his massive height towering over most of the Elders; the biceps under his metal plating too thick to permit him to rest his arms naturally against his side. I cursed him under my breath for not wearing his bio-mask because with his face fully visible I was able to see the gleam of satisfaction in his eyes which meant that even if I could convince Kch'lo to make him stay, he was determined to go regardless. I felt a tugging at my heart and that awful sting in my eyes which meant I was on the verge of tears if I thought about it any longer.

With V at my side I had the pleasure of learning all about the requirements transitioning from warrior to Elite entailed. I believed it had to do with age, but age had nothing to do with it and everything to do with a Yautja having three kainde amedha skulls under his belt. Gikvaris had them. In fact, he had seven. Apparently as a Lone Wolf he enjoyed tempting fate enough to insert himself into an outbreak of those slithering dragons and take the head of their queen. And often. I also learned that Gikvaris had long since been eligible to become an Elite, but again the strong pull of isolation and freedom kept him from returning and claiming his earned right.

I couldn't imagine losing him. He was the closest thing to kin that I had. If I was given a choice to bring only one thing back with me to Earth I'd be dragging his big ass with me. I would even sedate him if he wasn't willing to come with me. He made me hella angry. He drove me insane by pushing me beyond human limits. He tortured and mocked me when I failed. But he also made me laugh. I loved and hated him at the same time. And I didn't want him to leave, but I knew he wanted to. I'm sure he had gotten his kicks out of teaching a 'tiny ooman' but now it was time to start teaching the Yautja big league. Gikvaris would no longer have to demonstrate (rather relentlessly) the skills necessary for a girl-on-girl wrestling match, but for a kainde amedha chiva. And he was just beaming up there in a sea of Elders as he inched closer to zeroing in on that purpose. And I would die before I ever saw him again. Because humans had short life spans and Yautja training had to last for-fucking-ever.

After Gikvaris was awarded the proverbial laurel crown the gathering of Elders around him dissipated and I slinked my way over to him. Kch'lo kept me within eyesight and I was _still_ ever aware that for our mating scent to truly make a lasting impression he'd have to be the face every Yautja in the room associated the scent with. But the Yautja I was making a graceful beeline toward was already aware that Kch'lo and I had done the dirty. Hell, he tortured me with it before leaving our seaside paradise preserve. At this point I had little doubt that the scent I assaulted him with in the kehrite had made its intended impression and probably left a good amount of scarring his nostrils.

Trying to downplay my misery, I feigned a smile and straightened my posture. "Wow," I said strolling up to him. "Look at your head!"

"What is wrong with head?" He had that guarded look in his eyes that meant he knew I was capable of being either very serious or moments from making another one of my cutting quips.

My eyes widened. "Your head…it's so fucking big now."

He rumbled in irritation before nodding his head toward Kch'lo. "I bet tiny ooman think all Yautja parts are big now." He trilled at the delivery of his jab, though its humor was lost on me. Of course I thought that. I was five foot two and he was eight. The whole bigger the feet, bigger the junk bit was undeniably accurate for a Yautja, which had the wheels in my head beginning to turn...

"Hey Gikvaris, do you know what they say about male ooman feet?"

"H'ko..." He looked less than pleased to hear anything I had to say. In general or about oomans.

"The bigger the feet..." I pointed to his feet and then to his groin. "...the bigger the di - "

 _"H'ko."_

I snickered; though I was a tad disappointed his hide was dark and mottled, otherwise I was sure I'd have the pleasure of witnessing his face turn rosy red. "I was only trying to say that if the expression is true for all species...you're in bad shape."

His eyes narrowed.

"Because you, Gikvaris, have _very_ small feet."

He let out another deep rumble before giving me a dismissive wave. I always knew the jab was a good one whenever he was at a loss for words. It was a total win.

Fuck I was going to miss him.

"Hey Gik..."

His now-beady eyes glistened furiously. I knew he hated my little nickname for him but he wasn't going to be around much longer for me to tease him with it. Or tease him at all.

"Promise me something..." He remained quiet so I continued, "…Promise me that when I'm dead you'll take a breather from babysitting and give me a proper send off. I mean, I don't know if you guys bury your dead, burn your dead, or hurl their asses out into space, but whatever you do...just make sure you drop by to see me off, k?"

I was sure my Yautja funeral would be very little.

Gikvaris moved his hand to set it down on my shoulder before reconsidering and recoiling. At first I thought he withdrew because touching me would make him realize the finality of his leaving; no more pushing and shoving, especially while sitting in trees. But then I realized Gikvaris probably didn't even have tear ducts and he was just making sure not to mingle his scent with Kch'lo's. Sly devil almost had me believing he had a heart.

"Will see to it they _hurl_ tiny ooman's _ass_ from ship instead." He chirred, but weakly. "Am sure even in death tiny ooman will find ways to pester."

I rubbed my fingers against my eyes to sway any potential tears from brimming and defying my forced, rigid exterior. "As much as I'd like to Gik, I think after I'm dead I'll finally give it a rest. You'll be so old by then...and even crankier than you are now." I smiled weakly, sniffled, and went over to Kch'lo. I just couldn't look at him a second longer or I'd get down on my knees and beg him to consider rescinding his new title.

"Is great honor," Kch'lo'lo reminded me. He didn't need to see my face to detect the seam of my carefully stitched emotional cushion splitting open.

I huffed. I was miserable. "I think I love Gikvaris more than I ever loved my womb. I can live without my womb, but..."

Kch'lo hooked his arm around me and I moved in tandem with his steady gait.

"If I make Gikvaris mad enough to hit me will you make him an eta?"

Kch'lo trilled, the humming of which vibrated against my side. I wanted him to do that purring thing which was like morphine; soothing and totally mind numbing, but it seemed that was reserved only during our late night romping. Or that time I went hysterical in his room, which at the time might have made him question my mental stability.

"Sei-i, but would you eat the food he brought you?"

I thought about that. If Gikvaris ever found out about my clever ploy to keep him on the ship he'd definitely be the one to poison my ass. No giving me a chance to pull through a fatal wound; just straight, undeniable death. He might even lace my naxa with kainde ameda blood just to watch me suffer a slow, painful death. But he also might even do that, eta or not, for all the times I teased him prior.

We were back in that damnable hall again where time after time shit just seemed to hit the fan. Kch'lo sat at one end of the table and Kal'ar at another, and though they nodded to acknowledge each other it was clear a thick wall of tension remained between the two of them.

When Suon'var entered the room and strolled across the plated floor like a peacock I leaned into Kch'lo's ear and practically begged him to let me sit with Ayida. He could smirk all he wanted...he'd just have to do it from across the room.

"H'ko." He curled his fingers around my upper arm and yanked me onto his lap. Just as I was about to roll my eyes I remembered that vow I made myself after he graced me with his sexual prowess. I also remembered that warning he issued me in the hallway by the common room. I didn't need an enlightening. I'd just have to get used to being stuck to him like glue. Or him to me. However his dominant mind preferred to view it.

To my utter relief the night droned on without incident. Gikvaris eventually made his way over from the opposite side of the table and the Elders implored him to recount his many tales in his years as a Lone Wolf. As he satisfied their lust with macho hunt stories I slipped into the furl of my own trivial thoughts. I had quickly lost interest in their conversation because I didn't need to hear about his expertise in the hunt. Albeit a short period of time, I had lived it _with_ him. I knew the kind of warrior he was. And since they spoke to each other in their own language I quickly grew weary of trying to construct full sentences with my limited understanding of their language.

But when I heard 'tiny ooman' I looked up, terrified they had noticed my inattention.

Gikvaris took a sip of c'nlip which I thoroughly enjoyed watching him or any other Yautja do; the way they used their mandibles in conjunction with their hands to lift the goblet to their inner mouth.

"Elders ask what is most memorable scar." Gikvaris set his cup down on the table and extended his arm, turning it so that his palm was facing up. He removed his spaulder and a wide, mischievous smile grew across my lower face. I have given him that scar. Me, tiny ooman with my tiny blade.

"Most worthy opponent is the opponent never considered one."

He was being modest. Every Yautja seated at the table was more worthy than I, but at least he acknowledged that I wasn't the 'weak ooman' every Elder perceived me as the moment they shuffled my unconscious ass through the doors. Most likely the first and very last compliment I'd be hearing out of his gruff mouth.

The Elders clicked their mandibles, their trilling a baritone cacophony. My taking a chunk out of the mighty Gikvaris' arm was pretty funny, even for an Elder. I am sure if they were familiar with the term 'paradox' they'd go from calling me 'tiny ooman' to 'tiny paradox'. Despite my physical limitations I had a few tricks up my sleeve and I was determined like hell to live and live well.

"Good," I said with a proud smile. "When you bring your troupe of Un-blooded to Earth make sure they know that we, oomans, can get a little scrappy when we need to."

"Sei-i." Gikvaris nodded. "Will caution Un-blooded to avoid tiny oomans at all costs."

When the Elders had their fill of Gikvaris' stoic renditions they turned their attention to Kch'lo. He shifted in his chair which snapped meback to attention, forcing me to clap my hand over his thigh to steady myself from his abrupt repositioning.

Again they spoke in their own language to each other so I looked to Gikvaris for a little help because from time to time the Elders would glance at me before looking back at Kch'lo. And if the Elders were talking shit I wanted to know.

"Inquiring as to Kch'lo's summoning to home world."

I was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded.

"You mean you guys actually have a home? As in a planet?"

"Sei-i."

"Then what the hell are you doing on a ship?" Space travel was just awful. Just _awful_.

Gikvaris huffed. "Home world ruled by ancients, not clan leaders. Is where Yautja build ships and train Un-blooded." He paused as if sensing my rising curiosity and moving to crush it. "H'ko place for oomans."

I stiffened. "If no place for oomans...What is there for me to do?"

Gikvaris stared at me a long while without answering. It made me nervous as all hell, like he knew something I didn't and was hesitant to fill me in on. And as _my_ hunt brother (though calling him that out loud would surely convince him to poison me) I expected him not to keep secrets from me.

"Tiny ooman remain on ship."

I sighed. "Oh. Well that isn't so bad. Maybe Kch'lo will park it somewhere nice so that I'll have a window view of something other than space." I took back everything I had previously said about the woods after having woken up in them completely naked. Give me a blanket and I'd snuggle up at the base of a tree more content than a tree hugger on Earth Day. _Anything_ to get off of this ship.

"Clanship," he clarified plainly.

My blood began to boil. How the fuck did anyone expect me to stay on this ship without Kch'lo and without Gikvaris? Uh uh.

I turned to Kch'lo, but again he didn't need to see my face to notice my growing irritation. He had a keen sense of smell. Or he had felt my hand tense over his thigh.

"You are leaving me here?" I paused and took a deep breath, focusing on lowering my voice. "You can't leave me here. At least the last time you left Gikvaris kept me - "

"Ki'cte!" he said sharply.

 _Hmph. Enough?_

I moved to slide off of his lap but he clapped his hand down on my thigh.

I certainly wasn't going to be doing that thing he liked with my tongue tonight.

I couldn't imagine being alone for even a week. I loved Ayida, but the more pregnant she became the less interested she would be in roaming the halls with me...or using His'tgar's innards in a hideously prank. Gikvaris would be gone so no more sparring. I literally had no options that would keep me from getting into trouble. I would be aimless and miserable. Double miserable that Gikvaris was gone. And absolutely beside myself without Kch'lo around to provide me a much needed distraction.

As Kch'lo continued to ignore me while engaging with Gikvaris and the Elders my eyes began to roam the room. There was a ton of c'nlip but no one to be my drinking buddy. It was definitely no fun drinking alone and I was sure that Kch'lo wasn't in any mood to coddle my solitary intoxication. Ayida looked so weary that I thought at any moment she would fall out of her chair. The girls didn't look so alive, either. The boredom was killing me and I soon found myself fussing with Kch'lo's armor, running my fingers along its smooth curves and slipping my fingers into the holes of his net suit. I even ran my fingers along his abdomen shield to see if he would notice. He didn't bat an eye.

"Kch'lo..."

He turned his head and as he did the golden rank rings adorning his thick hair clinked softly together.

"Tired." I rubbed my eyes to indicate weariness, but truly I was just trying to stimulate them to stay open from boredom.

He moved his hand from my thigh but just as I thought I was finally being set free he slipped it around my waist and pulled me closer against him.

"Kch'lo, I - "

"Rest here."

Damn he was persistent.

I met Gikvaris' light trill with a frown. "I hope whatever ooman has the unfortunate pleasure of becoming your mate makes life _really_ miserable for you."

"Am expert." His mandibles clicked rapidly. "Thanks to tiny ooman."

* * *

While Kch'lo tended to Suon'var as he and his troupe prepared to leave the ship I met Ayida in the common room. We went to the 'mess hall' where Blooded Yautja and any rank below them took their meals. Of course we waited until they had finished and filed out before we strolled in, planting ourselves down at the center row table after fixing ourselves a plate of whatever leftovers the eta had not yet carted away. Turns out that their food wasn't so bad and being anywhere other than the assembly hall or the common room was a nice change in scenery for the both of us.

"Still angry with Kch'lo?" Ayida asked between mouthfuls of leafy greens. I didn't know how she could stomach it. It tasted worse than raw kale.

"Very," I said, content with my naxa and some 'bread' I had discovered actually existed on this ship. "He won't even speak to me about his upcoming trip." I scoffed. "I mean, doesn't he think I should know what to do with myself or how long he'll be gone?"

"Giving him the silent treatment?"

As much as I wanted to say Yes, we were totally giving each other the silent treatment. As if even broaching the subject would lead to an argument we were both sure _I_ wouldn't win.

So instead I groaned, not wanting to admit that with words.

"I still think he's angry I basically told Suon'var to go fuck himself." The washing thing? Nah. We already squashed that. But I'm sure he wasn't thrilled with my little show of defiance with another clan's future leader. But he wasn't _my_ future clan leader so how could he expect me to resist returning the insult?

"Anything else?" Ayida chuckled.

I guess I could have started mentally compiling a long list for her, but I didn't have the opportunity. The door swung open and clattered against the wall. Ayida's next bite was poised at her mouth and I slowly turned my body to look at whatever kept this pregnant woman from satisfying her ravenous hunger.

I exhaled in relief and then turned back to Ayida.

"It's only Shunlau."

"Uh..." Ayida nonchalantly pointed at the door.

Cautiously I turned my head again and now saw Kch'lo standing beside Shunlau, both of them bristling. I failed to connect the dots until I saw Kch'lo holding something familiar in his hand.

I swallowed hard.

"You think he suspects us?" I whispered out of the side of my mouth.

"I think he suspects _you..."_

"H'ka-se!" Kch'lo bellowed.

I knew that word. 'Now'. Had it roared at me a few times as a toddler and now in my adult toddlerhood. Because the Yautja were so good at making grown ass women feel like children.

I begrudgingly pushed my plate away and stood; even more begrudgingly crossed the room to meet him and his bristling companion, Shunlau. Like a puppy seconds away from being reprimanded I lowered my head slightly but kept my anticipating-the-fury-of-pissed-off-owner eyes locked with his.

He slipped his hand to the back of my neck and tugged me out into the hallway. Shunlau entered the room and slammed the door behind him, no doubt chastising Ayida for our impromptu Mischief Night. Only what we had done was way worse than tossing streams of toilet paper on trees or hurling eggs at cars.

Kch'lo lifted the pelt he was holding with a death grip and brought it to eye level before giving it a good shake. I almost clapped out in laughter as chunks of brain matter plopped down onto the floor, but immediately harnessed the impulse because to Kch'lo this shit was not humorous. Not one bit.

Kch'lo had lightened up a bit after adamantly demonstrating that his lap was the only place I would be finding a good night's rest on until _he_ was ready to leave. He was like the friend that insisted everyone hang around for 'one more drink', said last drink turning into two, then four, and before you knew it it was four o'clock in the morning and your shift began at seven. He let me slink away with Ayida who had marvelously feigned a bout of stomach cramps. Only we didn't head back to the common room. Instead, we made a pit stop at Kch'lo's quarters to snag the jar of His'tgar's flesh I had slopped up off the floor and shoved into it before stashing it right underneath the bed.

We crept through the hallways like a black ops tactical team; one of us peering around the corner of a corridor before flagging the other one to approach. It was all quite comical with Ayida scurrying as fast as her waddling pregnant legs could go, but indeed _very_ serious business. If caught red handed, how could I ever explain why in the hell I was holding shreds of a Yautja's face, along with his whisked brains, in a jar in my hands? And since I wasn't about to let anyone spoil the fun we took extra care to make sure our mission was completed with minimal interference.

As Ayida had the lay of the land long before I ever arrived, she led the way to Dalani's quarters. Thank God they were far from mine or I might have an itch to use her doormat as my personal toilet. Ayida keyed in Shunlau's code and the door opened. I was about to ask if Dalani and Shunlau had some side business going on when Ayida told me that since Shunlau was basically the human equivalent of a maintenance supervisor his code worked on every room, except for Kal'ar's. And when I questioned her as to why Dalani would be permitted to remain in private quarters after being paired with Suharek, Ayida informed me that Dalani had been quite the destructive little critter in his quarters, continually protesting her newfound status as his mate. Apparently Suharek didn't put it past Dalani to drive one of those spikes holding up his trophies into his own skull.

I had some friends in high places and I had some friends in low places. Thankfully I had been in the company of someone in a low place that no one ever suspected would use the wondrous knowledge she learned through simply listening to enable me to use it for my own devious purposes.

We entered the room and I unlidded my jar of wonders. I wasn't sure exactly what I would do with its contents, but when I saw the bed with its large, luscious pelts my hands instinctively _knew_ exactly what they wanted to do before my mind even had a chance to talk them out of it. I approached the bed and stuffed my hand into the jar, pulling shreds, ribbons, and chunks of what remained of His'tgar's face and head and started sprinkling it all over the bed like I was dusting the bed in rose petals. Ayida was laughing hysterically and the strain on her bladder actually caused her to empty it right in the middle of the room. Which then made us both erupt in thunderous laughter and I had to resist the urge to relieve myself, as well.

Sprinkling rotting flesh all over Dalani's bed was thrilling for two reasons: One, it gave me a serious amount of satisfaction to let her have another look at the culmination of all her plotting and scheming and what was unequivocally in store for her. Second, it gave me an even more amount of satisfaction to envision her stumbling into her room from an uneventful night after Gikvaris' ceremony, all while in the shadows of the low light the ship was programmed to emit to induce and encourage sleep, and flopping down onto the bed without a care in the world, hopefully face down when said flopping occurred. If that vision actually became a reality I could immediately go to my grave content. And if Gikvaris hurled my dead ass out into space the entire universe would bear witness to the huge grin on my face after having successfully pissed in Dalani's Cheerios.

And when Ayida and I had finished our filthy business we parted ways; her to the common room and I to Kch'lo's. He didn't have the faintest idea why I had been so skittish when he entered the room hours later or the sort of evidence I had washed down his drain.

"U'darahje!" Kch'lo roared, shaking the pelt near my face again, snapping me out of my blissful reminiscing of last night's events.

 _Huh. An Elder had called me that before. I'll have to ask V later._

"What?" I tried to put on a brave face but when he lowered his to mine I shrank against the door.

"How am I supposed to explain this?"

It was The Bitch we were talking about. Again, I just didn't see what all the fuss about.

"How am I supposed to explain this to Suharek?!" His eyes were menacing.

"Does Suharek really care that I ruined his pet's pelt?"

Kch'lo planted the space between his thumb and pointer finger against my chin, using his thumb and fingers to hold a firm grip on both sides of my face. If I hadn't used His'tgar's flesh as the medium for splash painting Dalani's bed I would have been a tad turned on by his domineering hold on me, but I had. And I had a sneaking suspicion that not only was Kch'lo aware of what I had done, but had also picked up on my reason for wanting to leave the hall so early. Again, this Yautja had a marvelous bullshit radar.

"Not ruin ooman Dalani's pelt. Ruin _Elder_ Suharek's pelt."

 _Sweet. Jesus. Have. Mercy._

My stomach literally dropped.

He let go of my face, stepped back, then shoved the pelt against me. I grabbed it, horrified at what would happen if it slipped and rained down chunks of fatty tissue onto Kch'lo's feet.

 _"You_ will explain it."

When Shunlau opened the door I stumbled backwards and caught myself before landing on my ass. Shunlau huffed his disapproval at me before moving past with Ayida in tow.

Ayida turned quickly and flashed me a wicked little smile, letting me know that no matter what kind of scolding we were in for it would be worth _every damn second_. Only her Yautja wasn't facing her dead on like he was zeroing in on his prey, so she could get away with that. Kch'lo hadn't taken his eyes off of me since positioning himself in the doorway of the mess hall to send me a clear message: no way in hell was I getting past that shit brick house.

"Did you enjoy Kal'ar's chains?"

I glared at him. _"You wouldn't dare."_

His head jerked back.

 _SHIIIIIT._

"Wouldn't?" His eyes went gravely still. "Dare?"

"That is sooo not what I meant..."

He clapped his hand on the back of my neck and led me down the hall. I bunched the pelt against my chest, little concerned with the chunks spilling down my own pelt covering and more concerned with wherever the hell Kch'lo was taking me. There were only two possible destinations: wherever the hell Suharek was or to Kch'lo's room so he could clap a set of chains around my ankles. Neither destination took away the dread that boiled in the pit of my stomach and threatened to empty itself more horrifically than I had emptied my jar onto Dalani's bed. Well, actually Suharek's bed, as I had come to find out.

Destination Number One was where Kch'lo brought me. The doors to the assembly hall cracked open and Kch'lo gave me a not-so-gentle push inside after I stopped and tried backing up against him. Shunlau was standing off to the side with Ayida who was hesitant to meet my eyes with Shunlau's heavy hand on the back of her neck. I had no idea what she had said, but it didn't matter. I was taking the blame for this. All of it. And if the issue of urinating on the floor came up I'd take the blame for that one, too. And then I would politely add that at least it was urination, not defecation.

Luckily Suharek was the only Elder in the room. Not so luckily Kal'ar was in the room and his disapproving glare didn't go unnoticed. The only silver lining to my present situation was that Dalani was also in the room; her arms crossed, her lip jutting out in an incensed pout. Damn it was good to see her seething like that and I would relish every bit of blame I took just so she would know there was no skirting around what I had done. I was damn proud and would wear that shit like a badge of honor.

Kch'lo brought me to the table before letting go and stepping back. Oh he would remain present and eerily close to me. No escaping the boring glare directed at the back of my head. So I did what I knew best how to do: hands up like white flags.

"Elder Suharek...I am without excuse."

 _That should do it._

Suharek was quite reserved considering I had just openly admitted what I had done. I expected him to stand up and hurl the plate in front of him at me, but he didn't. He just sat there, ruminating. Pondering what the hell he could say to me since I obviously wasn't going to put up a fight and try to defend my actions. Raw truth could stump even the most intelligent of species, I suppose.

"Can ooman Exi-ee-ah ee-magin sur-prize when heard ooman Dah-lan-ee scree-ming?"

I wanted to laugh so bad at his terrible attempt to speak my language, but then I remembered that plate in front of him and imagined him hurling it at my head like a Yautja smart disc if even so much as a smirk escaped my presently rigid expression.

"Unsure what wrong when ooman Dah-lan-ee hurled herself from bed, clawing at face, and ran. Bee-leeved ooman Dah-lan-ee was challenging mating ah-gen. Charged her and knocked her to ground."

 _Kill me now! She had flung herself face first onto the bed!_

I thought I heard Ayida's snickering behind me which was only confirmed when I heard that distinct low growl Yautja were famous for issuing in warning. Flinging herself onto the bed was one thing, but being bulldozed by Suharek afterwards? Priceless.

"Recording showed you and ooman I-yida." His lower tusks clicked together.

I turned to Kch'lo. "Does our room have one?" God the shit others would see if there was one in our room.

His mandibles began to splay and I quickly snapped back to Suharek.

"If it helps...I made her do it."

"Do?" Suharek cocked his head. "Do what? Ooman I-yida did not have hand in jar."

"Not that..." I fiddled with my fingers. "The other thing."

"Other?"

 _Dear God, he didn't know._

So I switched gears, determined not to oust my weak bladdered friend.

"Opening the door. Your door. I thought it was Dalani's room. Didn't know you called it home, too."

Kch'lo started that low rumbling again. I was being too flippant, though that hadn't been my intention. They just didn't understand humans and our nervous ticks, ranging from visible to audible. I believed that as long as my face remained respectful the tone of my voice could be overlooked. Didn't that ring true for Yautja? It was their _expression_ that made their emotions visible, not their tone. Their tone was always deep and menacing.

"I apologize," I said, letting out the exhale I had been holding. "I apologize for breaking into your room. And for ruining your pelt with His'tgar's face...and brain."

Suharek, his head still tilted, asked: "Regret?"

I nodded. Yep. Had never planned on that happening. Also never planned on Ayida being hideously wrong about whose room we were sneaking into.

"Ooman Exi-ee-ah feel regret for slight ah-genst Suharek. Sei-i. Does ooman Exi-ee-ah feel regret for slight ah-genst ooman Dah-lan-ee?"

I was betting that wasn't a rhetorical question and that he was actually expecting an answer. If he wanted to hear an echoing 'sei-i', that was a double edged sword I didn't plan on falling onto.

I shook my head, aware that Kch'lo thunderous chest storm was on the rise again. "H'ko."

Suharek trilled, but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing for me right now.

"Will absolve slight ah-genst Suharek. Will abdicate punishment for slight ah-genst ooman Dah-lan-ee to Kch'lo."

Dalani's arms unhooked from her chest and she threw them up in the air, enraged that Suharek was deferring my punishment to Kch'lo. I had been rather hopeful that Suharek would find the humor in all of this under that stony expression of his and that letting me off the hook had been his silent retaliation against Dalani for her being the stubborn bitch that she was.

I turned to Dalani. I had a feeling Suharek wouldn't mind my speaking to her so plainly. He looked unwilling to indulge her bratty outburst. And why should he? It seemed rather obvious she wasn't so willing to indulge him.

"Shoulda killed me when you had the chance...or at least asked His'tgar to make sure he did...By the way, how did it feel being so close to your pal again?" I looked over at Ayida and wanted her to feel a little triumphant, too. "Oh yeah...And you see her?" I nodded toward Ayida. "We didn't know the room belonged to Suharek at the time, but just so _you_ know...Ayida took a nice piss on the floor. That's what she thinks about you."

Ayida's unplanned emptying of the bladder would never be viewed as aggressive, but I'd sure as hell be mad if someone pissed on my floor. So I knew Dalani would be mad, too.

Dalani's eyes were bulging, but again my newly emboldened attitude completely threw her off her game.

"Piss?" Suharek was trying to follow me, but I was not inclined to give him a crash course in the complexities of the human language and its many terms for a single action.

Instead I took that pelt I was holding against my chest and stretched it out to show her. "I'm going to save this. Give myself something comfy to sit on when I do what I did to His'tgar's head to yours."

I turned to Kch'lo and bent my head forward, letting him know I was willingly ready for his hand to take its usual place.

* * *

Back in the room I walked over to the bed and sat down, still clutching the foul smelling pelt in my hands. I stretched out my legs in front of me and looked at my ankles. I sure was going to miss the bare sight of them.

Kch'lo towered over me before snatching the pelt from my hands and hurling it into his trophy room. I was just thankful I had let go in time so I didn't go flying across the room with it.

"You have shamed another with your petty game."

I sighed. Suharek was so unlike Kch'lo and Kch'lo had warned me about it. The Elders sought peace and he basically sought blood.

"I was just trying to have a bit fun with Dalani. Well, maybe not _with_ her. You know...like when you guys go and hunt. You don't just kill the thing...You torment it for as long as you can stand it before deciding you're ready to end it. That's all _I_ was doing. Didn't mean to shame _you_ in the process."

Kch'lo crouched down in front of me and grabbed my ankles, his hair slapping against his back as he dropped down.

 _Here we go again._

"Have not shamed Kch'lo. Have shamed ooman Ayida."

 _Did he really think Ayida felt an ounce of shame?_

"Will give Shunlau cause not to take ooman Ayida as pet."

 _Ah. Now I understand._

"I'll make it right." But I wasn't sure if Ayida's heart would be broken not getting to 'retire' with Shunlau. She had a lot of fight left in her still. Too much to be cooped up in a room as a living trophy.

"H'ko. Have done enough. Must demonstrate that your punishment is sufficient for both."

I can't say I was happy about it, but I was _ready_ for it. I'd do anything to make sure Ayida came out on top. She might be guilty by association, but definitely wasn't going down as the main culprit.

"Go 'head. I'm ready. Won't say a word." I gave my feet a shake, hoping he would dole out a little mercy on account of my willingness to submit to whatever awaited me.

Kch'lo yanked on my ankles and I slid off of the bed and skated down onto the floor. When it was clear I wasn't going to stand up, a part of me alarmed at the suddenness of his action and another part indignant because of it, he stood up and with one hand still firmly wrapped around my skinny ankle and began to drag me. Lord knows I wanted to fight, but I didn't want him digging one of his many talons into my skin to thwart my efforts of resisting.

But as I had been preparing myself for the ass whooping of a lifetime we went from the sleeping quarters into the washroom. He dragged me over to the tub which was already filled with water and set me down at the edge. He turned and grabbed the front of my covering, tearing it off before barking and pointing for me to get in.

I slithered like a snake into the water and clung to the edge, cautiously watching him disrobe and circle around the tub. He stepped down and rested his back against the side of the tub, his eyes never leaving mine. This was a hell of a lot more torturous than an immediate ass whooping. At least I could brace for that. This...I didn't know what _this_ was.

"Unpleasant," he intoned gravely.

Well I knew that I could be _at times_ , but couldn't tell if this was _that time_ or if he was just making a blanket statement.

Then he began to trill which made the suspense that much more riveting. He was murdering me with his eyes but laughing at me with his body.

"The smell of His'tgar's scent is unpleasant. Must wash. Then…will show Exia how I will punish for crime against ooman Dalani." But the derision in his tone was gone. And I knew he didn't consider what I had done a crime.

"Can I at least have a heads up?"

He trilled again and the vibrations sent a wave of pulsating ripples through the water lapping at his chest. "Sei-i."

I waited for it.

"Will put His'tgar's _head up_ on wall above bed. Can look at while I punish."

 _Oh shit...he's flirting with me again._

He had a sick way of flirting, but I must admit I was instantly aroused by it. Maybe I would never have desired (shit, even imagined) to have my brains fucked out of my skull while staring up at one, but I wasn't in Kansas anymore. I wasn't even on Earth.

And he was true to his word.

Hanging His'tgar's skull above the bed and punishing me in ways that would definitely not sway me from committing more atrocities against Dalani, I learned that Kch'lo had a sense of humor after all. His only complaint was that he learned of my mischief from someone else rather than a firsthand account. Apparently he had pulled his own stunts with rival Yautja in his prime and he had oodles of suggestions that would have kept involving an Elder out of it. I also learned that I simply couldn't be trusted to be left to my own devices while he was away visiting his home planet. So I'd be going with him.

So fuck the battle. I had just won the goddamn war.

* * *

 _Yautja Translation:_

 _U'darahje: abomination_


	18. Chapter 18 - Bait

_**JunogawaKing: special thanks to you for getting me out of my rut. THANK YOU. And I hope that this slight veer in direction is satisfying. You'll have to PM and let me know. I so need to know! :-) You are deeee best** _

_Guest: Hope you know this is in response to your review - thank you so much for the kind words. Hope this chap is equally satisfying, though without the_  
 _shenanigans of a bored human!_

 _peachdreams26: thank you, thank you! Youll have to let me know if this chap is just as good._

 _KATT9033: lol...you see, I draw from what I might do myself. and being how i know exactly how it is to sometimes lose control of your bladder while pregnant,_  
 _i just totally get that it could happen, and how amazing it would be to lose said bladder on the floor of someone you really hate. like a boss._

 _Ally: thank you my dear... I love me some Kch'lo. This chap is a little more serious b/c I have a serious plot to drive, but you'll have to let me know what you think_

 _Tenjp: i am glad you enjoyed. after this next chap, we are gonna take a peak at the home world. please let me know what you think about this chap._

 _Tenfangirl: I promise, Exia will not let Gikvaris off the hook that easy. Promise!_

 _write more soon: is this soon enough? sorry - i hit a mental block for a few days, but here it is !_

 _xXWhoWantsToKnowXx: glad you enjoyed. But with this chap I had to get back to the seriousness, b/c i've got a plot to drive. please let me know if you enjoy this one as much as the last_

 _FutureEnchantments: Thank you so much! I wanted it to be fun and satisfying. Will have to let me know what you think about my move from shenanigans to seriousness ... gosh this took days more than I anticipated._

 **A/N: Don't own it, don't make a penny off of it. I am SO happy that you all enjoyed Chap 17. I am glad to have given you some laughs. So with 18 we move onto a bit of seriousness b/c I need to move my plot forward. Hope you enjoy. I'll get into greater detail in next chapter. Please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy...**

* * *

Kch'lo's transport ship was even more accommodating and spacious than his personal quarters on the clan ship which made putting the clan ship in the rear view mirror all the less painful. I was going to miss Ayida terribly, but as she entered the last months of her pregnancy I knew what she needed was uninterrupted rest, something I, in my restlessness, could not give her. To add to my growing anticipation in leaving, the entire clan seemed thrown into a dismal chaos as they prepared for the arrival of the Yautja female. There would be no more concessions made for my midnight antics as the Elders focused their attention in ensuring that not a single detail slipped their careful notice. As fascinated as I was to see and hopefully meet on peaceful terms a female Yautja I knew our departure was perfect timing.

I was growing rather attached to Kch'lo's transport ship as it failed to induce the maze-like aimlessness of the clan ship's twisting and turning hallways with levels and rooms of which I would never see in my lifetime. The low lighting was a godsend, providing an ambient atmosphere unlike the caustic fluorescent lighting that daily assaulted my vision. And without Kch'lo having to worry about my predilection for mischief or the unpredictable aggressiveness of any Yautja I might bump into on the clan ship I was free to roam the ship whenever and however often I wanted. On account of my newfound freedom I was loathe to remain in the sleeping quarters except when actually needing to sleep, which was a great change in pace as on the clan ship it seemed my world consisted of two main places: Kch'lo's room or the assembly hall. In fact, on the second night I was so overwhelmed with the amount of freedom that I had been given that I fell asleep in the kehrite and would have been content to remain there throughout the night. Only Kch'lo wouldn't accept that and so when he yanked me onto my feet and issued me a low growl I got the hint: as soon as the puppy leash came off the yard was my playground so long as I understood that by the end of the night my ass had better be back in my crate. Or Kch'lo's nest of furs. Whatever.

The interior layout of the ship was built around Kch'lo's open trophy room positioned in the center of the ship. The inner rooms were built into the outer wall and wrapped around the curved inner wall where his trophies remained on permanent display. The rooms were comprised of his private sleeping quarters, washroom, kehrite with a built-in armory, communications center, 'mess hall', and two separate sleeping quarters with smaller, inner washrooms for guests. Though the thought of Kch'lo entertaining guests was as foreign as the new territory we currently delved into I learned that during certain seasons Arbitrators joined together to hunt for sport in order to break up the monotony of months on end spent in solitary hunting. They would also join forces if a particular planet became overwhelmed with Bad-bloods. Apparently Bad-bloods weren't so interested in living an uneventful life in exile; they were capable and thoroughly enjoyed wiping out an entire population of species within a short period of time. No longer owing to the responsibilities of clan life they had nothing better to do than hunt. And without the brief interludes of returning to the clan ship to sire future warriors or otherwise contribute to the clan's survival, the driving force of their genetic makeup remained unchecked and uninhibited.

I spent the majority of my time in the kehrite brushing up on Gikvaris' lessons to burn off excess energy whenever Kch'lo didn't feel inclined to exercise me himself. The back wall provided a full view of our journey and so many hours after exhausting myself night after night I would put away Kch'lo's combistick, flop down on the mat and remain content gazing upon the mass void that stretched out before my eyes; weighing and considering this newfound existence of mine and discovering beneath the layers of uncertainty that kept me from truly dissecting my sentiments concerning it, if given the choice to return home I had little doubt I would willingly choose to remain with Kch'lo.

Far from the chaos and uncertainty that assaulted me daily on the clan ship allowed me to comprehend that my previous life fell short from the life I was living now. A life I never wanted and swore would be the death of me. I no longer had to pass through life in a feeble attempt at what would always be a meager existence, clawing at the hope of finding purpose and perhaps along the way a significant other that would support and further my purpose. Now I had both purpose and a significant other, only I would never have to fear hitting the ceiling of my potential. An infinite amount of possibilities stretched out before me as endless and undiscovered as the view from the kehrite wall window. I had lost what females of my kind considered to be a high honor if not the inherent, sole ambition of every female but here, despite that coveted accomplishment of motherhood having been stolen from me I was not without purpose. My purpose was not lost, but changed, as Gikvaris wisely stated. After more than two decades among my own kind that yielded nothing, but what I had achieved in only a matter of months among the Yautja, what could I ever hope to find or achieve back home?

When I was not in the kehrite entrenched in blasphemous observations regarding my species I found myself traipsing the circular hall making other blasphemous observations not born of my own thoughts but objects attesting to the culmination of Kch'lo's terrifying though visibly fruitful reign. Varying sizes of finely polished skulls lined the inner curved wall from ceiling to the floor; some marred by the violent ends they had met evident in deep fracture lines or puncture holes while others remained pristine and intact, their fate limited only by the limits of my imagination. While some of the skulls and spines were pure white others were stone gray and some deep obsidian. I met their hollowed, menacing stares with complete awe and reverence. Their remains validated an existence beyond the one within my limited perception of the universe. But even with the regularity I wandered the halls I continually found myself attracted as if drawn by a magnetic force to the rows of bone that forced me to question how creatures so frail in comparison to their neighboring leviathans could ever be of such great value for a Yautja to hunt and proudly display. I could easily lose myself for hours gazing at the remains of humans throughout the ages that had been stalked and tormented by Kch'lo; humans who fell short of the hellish beasts they now had for company.

"Why do you not ask?"

Although I had been getting better at detecting Kch'lo's presence, whenever I believed I had finally grown accustomed to the small details of sound that gave away Kch'lo's stealthy movements, whether it was the gentle clinking of rank rings or the gentle thrum of his heartbeat which had become a touch more thrilling than that intoxicating purr of his, he outmaneuvered me, proudly obliged to keep me on my toes.

"About them?" Though I was enamored by the dozens of remnants that served to remind me of my own frailty I would never dare reach out and touch them. The hunt was sacred and so were the trophies it yielded. I would not tarnish the veneration Kch'lo had imbued into the layers of their bones with the meticulous work of hands with the curiosity of my own.

"Sei-i. You stare for hours, but ask nothing of them."

I drew in a deep breath before tearing my gaze away from them to him. "I like to imagine they each died honorably. That all of them were warriors worthy of your pursuit. I don't ask about them because I don't want to be disappointed that each of the demises I have imagined for hours on end is the furthest from that."

The last thing I wanted to hear was that any of my kind currently gracing his walls had died defenselessly when they encountered Kch'lo.

"Sei-i. All fought and died with honor." He slid his hand around my back and turned me with him. "I was not instructed by an Elder who is still influenced and drawn to the thrill in stalking and tormenting its prey, but by an Ancient. I was trained not to hunt what merely presented a challenge, but to hunt what would yield the most kills. Kill an ooman with only one kill and you gain two. Kill an ooman with thirty kills and you gain thirty one. His kills become yours."

"Ah...so it's a number game with you, huh? No wonder you're an Arbitrator. However many kills an ooman may have how many more does a Yautja have, let alone a Bad-blood?"

Kch'lo trilled. "Sei-i."

"And here I thought you were just being noble by wiping out Bad-bloods." I nudged him with my elbow.

All jesting aside, I didn't care what his reason was for hunting Bad-bloods. If they were even a quarter of what His'tgar was they deserved to have their heads lopped off.

In the washroom Kch'lo settled against the back of the tub and I sat behind him on the ledge, my legs against the sides of his torso and my arms draped over his shoulders through the thick coils of his hair and crossed over his chest. I was still deep in thought after our conversation in the hall, fixated on the manner in which his victims had died. I had watched Gikvaris effortlessly kill dozens of insentient creatures, but never ones that possessed the capability of abstract thought.

"I want to see."

Kch'lo tilted his head back and I rested my chin on the crown of his had. "See?"

"I want to see you do it. See you hunt."

Kch'lo slid his hands over my knees and cradled my calves in the crook of his arms. "There are plenty of creatures on Yaut to hunt."

"No...No more kurn. No more rjet. I want to watch you hunt something that has the ability to know its being hunted...That understands you aren't hunting it for consumption, but that you want to kill it because you want to. Just because you want to." I lowered my head and rested it against my arm over his shoulder.

"What is gained from it?" Though his voice was plain I didn't detect any disgust in it which I had anticipated on account of the my own disgust in being transfixed on something I imagined was so violent and hideous.

"To know if I am capable of doing the same."

Kch'lo issued a low purr as if sensing my inner turmoil. The propensity to be as calculating and merciless consumed me.

"You are capable, but you are ooman, not Yautja. Yautja do not feel shame or regret in the lives they take. That is an ooman weakness." Satisfied that his answer should put an end to the torturous debate going on inside of my head he unhooked his arms from my legs and stood up.

I inched back to give him room to step out, content to continue the debate in my head, but he wasn't finished with me yet.

"You are capable, Exia. Little doubt that with time and practice you could take the head of a kainde amedha, but there is little need to do as I do."

I nodded but his confidence in me failed to satiate the growing desire to know if I could kill another human not because I was able or because it would be an act of justice, but because I wanted to. And it wasn't a foreign idea. There was a very real chance of encountering another human while at Kch'lo's side and I desired to know if I could watch him kill them let alone kill them myself.

We returned to the sleeping quarters and we spoke no more of the matter. I laid my head against the rough hide of his bicep, my spine against his upper body so that I could feel the soft thumping of his heartbeat. I laid awake for hours as my mind went to war with my emotions. I didn't think I could do it. I didn't even want to do it. But it didn't keep me from wanting to see him do it because if I was going to live among a species that regarded the hunting of humans as sacred then I needed to know what it looked and felt like. To see if I could live with myself and them after experiencing it.

* * *

It will still dark when I heard movement in the room. I strained my eyes to make out Kch'lo's silhouette in the center of the room, his arms and hands moving up and down the length of his body. I sat up in the bed, still in a fog from being woken up so suddenly and in such a panic.

Kch'lo moved his head and I saw the deep black shadows of his coils tumble down over his shoulder. "Up."

"Have we arrived already?"

 _We couldn't have. It couldn't have been that long since we left._

"H'ko."

When the low lights flickered on I saw that Kch'lo had been fastening together the pieces of his armor. Though I wanted to immediately begin questioning him, alarmed that he might be leaving and I would have to remain on the ship alone, I dragged myself from the bed and reached for a clean covering.

"H'ko. Not fur." He pointed to a small black container across the room that I hadn't noticed before.

"What is it?" I slowly crept toward the box, still trying to pull myself out of the haze of my exhaustion.

"Will need suit for hunt." He turned and headed for the door.

"We are going hunting?"

"Sei-i."

"Wait...You mean you're not leaving me on the ship? You're taking me with you?"

He rumbled before opening the door. "Dress."

 _Someone had woken up mighty cranky._

Before he had even stepped foot out the door my fingers were furiously working to unzip the front zipper and stepping into the suit before hoisting it up over my shoulders. The suit fit my body like a glove which lead me to believe that Kch'lo had more in mind than making me wait on the transport ship while he fussed with his Ancients. He didn't say much about our plans once we reached Yaut but I was hoping that this suit was a sign that his plans entailed more than having only a window view of his home world.

After dressing I joined Kch'lo in the armory. He turned and looked up and down the length of my body, visibly pleased.

"Better."

"Than a covering?"

He finished strapping a net gun to his belt, shaking his head. "H'ko. Better than Kyhemeda's suit."

I looked down at myself, thinking I had missed something. It was a nice suit and well made, but it was plain black unlike the one Kyhemeda had fashioned for me which was made of bronze colored fabric infused with d'lex like Kal'ar's armor and red ribbing on the sides of my torso and on my forearms like the red stripes of Kal'ar's hide. But looking down at the suit I was glad it was plain black. I had been a fool to ask Kyhemeda to make me a suit in the hopes of showing Kal'ar how he had been in my every thought. It might have satisfied his ego but it would not have satisfied his desire to have a Yautja mate.

"Sei-i. Thank you."

He nodded before stepping aside. "Choose."

His armory was as extensive as Gikvaris', only Gikvaris liked his energy weapons and had a preference for his plasmacaster. Kch'lo had more quantities and variations of non-energy weapons; combisticks, chakrams, shurikens, spear guns, whips, and glaives.

"Only one?" I smiled playfully.

"Not for hunting. For protection."

My smile quickly faded. "Come again?"

"Will take you hunting on Yaut. For now you are bait."

The idea of being 'bait' was far from comforting or likely to bring Gikvaris a sense of pride when I told him later, but I did feel a slow growing anticipation to at least have the chance of seeing Kch'lo in action. And since he didn't comment further as to _what_ I would be 'bait' for I chose the weapon I felt most comfortable using and reached for a combistick.

Kch'lo looked at me and trilled. "Not plasma gun?"

I shook my head, definitely confident despite his trilling on account of my choice. "Nope. If I'm stuck being bait I'm going to at least make this as interesting as possible."

Yeah. I had a hankering to get close and personal to whatever lurked and lied in wait for me in the bushes.

I smiled and ran my fingers along his metal plated arm. "You going to take it out as soon as it steps foot near me or let me have a little fun with it first?"

"Which would you prefer?"

Since I was in the dark as to what Kch'lo would be hunting I thought about it for a moment. If I answered that I wanted to have a little fun first and it turned out that a kainde amedha queen was on the menu I was fairly certain _fun_ wouldn't be on the menu with it. But if it turned out to be a Bad-blood I would surely leap at the opportunity to put to test all that Gikvaris had taught me. Gikvaris was after all a Yautja and if I had lasted more than three minutes with him – and he was probably as merciless as a Bad-blood would be with me – then maybe I _could_ have a little fun.

"Fun," I finally answered, following with a confident nod to reassure him of my decision.

Kch'lo let out a high trill. "Very well."

* * *

We boarded the drop ship attached to the transport ship which was as compact and familiar as Gikvaris'. Since I was already in my suit when we approached our planetary destination I sat with Kch'lo in the control room and watched as the green sphere straight ahead of us engulfed our entire view as we approached its atmosphere. Kch'lo switched from autopilot to manual control and effortlessly breached the atmosphere without all the violent convulsions that had knocked me about with Gikvaris at the helm, leading me to believe Gikvaris had purposely done it, which I would have to get him back for later. While still lowering altitude Kch'lo switched on the ship's cloaking device before dropping below a thin layer of clouds. Although it was night I could still make out the terrain of the planet which to me looked like an endless ocean of jungle. My silly human brain was naturally inclined to envision its predators bearing resemblance to the creatures that roamed Earth's jungles, but we were far from Earth and I had a feeling that whatever lurked in the shadows of the dense trees below us was unlike anything on Earth.

Having scaled miles of the planet Kch'lo found a small clearing by a large river and landed the ship. Once we were off the ship he remotely programmed the ship to hover above the atmosphere until we were finished hunting. I asked him what creature would bother itself with our ship and he plainly told me Bad-bloods. So we were hunting a Bad-blood and apparently Kch'lo didn't want to take any chances of a Bad-blood raiding or disabling the ship while we were gone.

With no moon to filter down light through the thick canopy of trees that towered hundreds of feet above us I followed Kch'lo closely, forced to trust the vision of his bio-mask over my own, no matter how tempting it was to scamper off and get to being bait already. We scaled the wet, uneven terrain of the jungle floor for hours in total silence which was so unlike my time with Gikvaris who had painstakingly explained every calculated step we took while pursuing our pack of kurn. As hard as it was to keep from pestering him with the dozens of questions that gnawed at me I knew that whenever it was time for him to break off and allow me to engage his prey I would know all he required me to know.

But to my utter exhaustion we continued to walk through the night and well into the following day. When we reached another river Kch'lo gave into my silent whining (comprised of panting, groaning, and languished footsteps) and allowed me to rest while he disappeared into the thick foliage to scout the surrounding area. At some point I drifted off but when I woke up the sun was gone and the moon had taken its former place high above the trees. I didn't need to see to know that Kch'lo had not returned and though I should have been alarmed, I wasn't. Instead I hoisted myself up onto my feet and withdrew my combistick, ready to draw out a Bad-blood I probably wouldn't see until running face first into him, all the while aware that Kch'lo was somewhere in the treetops above me. And since he hadn't returned to lead me further into the jungle I knew this Bad-blood was within close range. Otherwise I'd have a serious bone to pick with Kch'lo later for having ditched me so early in the game. And without feeding me first.

It wasn't easy mustering the momentum to engage the role Kch'lo had given me in his hunt. I would satisfactorily fulfill my part as bait by merely walking, making enough noise to attract whatever skulked about in the shadows. But that just wasn't me. I just couldn't go into this already feeling half defeated so I conjured that motivational hate I had for Dalani that had compelled me to tear into the flesh of my kurn head with reckless abandon, pretending that this Bad-blood I was brought here to draw out was actually Dalani.

The humidity began to get to me after a few hours; soaking through my suit and making movement more laborious. I went from holding the extended combistick with both hands to retracting it and setting it down against my shoulder. It was a move Gikvaris would be thoroughly displeased by, but Gikvaris was also acclimated to and preferred environments of extremely moist, hot temperatures. I actually didn't believe I had ever seen a Yautja sweat before. Not even a drop.

By the time I had reached a shallow stream the sun began to rise over the horizon and cast a gray aura over everything its pale light touched. I crouched by the stream and splashed the water on my face and hair. It wasn't refreshingly cold, but it felt good to get the grit of dust and sweat off of my face. As thirsty as I was I didn't dare drink it. Gikvaris warned me about a number of biological pathogens in any given environment, the harm of which was easily avoided by properly bathing once back on the ship. But there was no telling what was naturally in the water or what an animal, living or dead, had deposited into it. Even though the Yautja had a higher resistance to diseases even they were careful to ensure they had proper water provisions when traveling to any planet, even to their own reserves.

But Kch'lo had said nothing of the planet we were currently traipsing and had given me no instructions as to what, if anything, I could draw sustenance from. It was tempting to divert from the task at hand and go looking for a meal, but I had starved before and lived. God, Kal'ar had starved me good and here I was, still breathing. So my steadily growling stomach would just have to wait and pray the Bad-blood was carrying a bag of edible goodies suitable for my human stomach.

The stream was narrow enough to cross by jumping over and I set my sights on the incline of terrain ahead of me that abutted the base of a mountain range that ran perpendicular to the jungle. The mountain had many low flat levels and there were many cliffs and caves in which I suspected this Bad-blood would be utilizing as shelter. I had no intention of actually slipping into one of the caves, though. It would be just my kind of luck to stumble upon his home just as he was getting back from picking up a late night snack. And I wasn't naive to the fact that Yautja saw heat signatures so being in complete darkness mattered very little to them. I would be swinging my combistick blindly and would be more likely to knock myself out than knocking him out.

When I reached the base of the mountain which was comprised of boulders with trees jutting out between the cracks I decided to wait until nightfall to investigate if this Bad-blood had in fact been using the pockets in the face of the mountain as shelter. But again, I wasn't about to hone my inner woodsman and try my hand at rock climbing. If I was certain he was in the area I would just do as Kch'lo would have wanted me to do anyway: make enough noise to draw him down to me.

But my life had never gone according to plan and this Bad-blood was aware of my presence long before I was aware of his. I sat down and just stared into the mouth of the darkness I had just walked through, amazed at how the hell I could have gotten as far as I did without encountering a single bug. That in itself was quite an amazing feat. And a hell of a relief. Spiders were one thing. Alien spiders quite another. But when I turned my attention back to the eerily quiet, still mountain landscape my eyes passed right over the Yautja standing about twenty yards away from me. It wasn't until my eyes swept back to the jungle that I detected a slight quiver in the moonlight. When I finally focused my vision to discern the cause of the movement I knew immediately _what_ it was with those stout shoulders, Medusa-like hair, and the glinting shimmer of moonlight against metal plating.

But even worse than the sight of him and that motionlessness that was the calm before the storm was the sudden movement beside him. It must have been this same movement that drew out Kch'lo because while the Bad-blood turned and charged at a now uncloaked Kch'lo, the shadow that had moved beside the Bad-blood prior to Kch'lo's abrupt eruption turned and fled back up the mountain. And I was hot on its heels.

When I was finally out of the cover of the trees and began ascending the protrusions of rock effacing the mountain I saw that the figure I was pursuing wasn't another Yautja, but a human. And by the looks of it, a female. I called out after her, screaming for her to stop in the hopes that if she heard a human voice it might pull her back to reality and stop her need to retreat. But her determination to run from me hadn't curved mine to pursue. She might have needed help but now that her Bad-blood captor was too busy with Kch'lo she saw this as an opportunity she would not be afforded again. I had to reach her before she disappeared into the deep caverns of the mountain, a place she must have known well and where I would never be able to find her.

I was within several hundred feet of her when she hoisted herself up onto a rock shelf and slipped into one of those damned caves. Yep, one of those caves I swore I wouldn't step foot in. But I couldn't lose her. Kch'lo was _going_ to serve that Bad-blood some justice and then she would be alone. No telling if she was capable of fending for herself. No telling what she was capable of at all. And with or without Kch'lo's permission I planned on taking her back to the ship whether she wanted to come or not.

 _I sound like a Yautja now._

I brushed the thought off and pulled myself up onto that same shelf before slinking into that same damn cavern she had disappeared into. As soon as I slipped inside the moonlight was cut off and before me was blinding darkness. Ahead in the distance was a gentle orange glow but not willing to fall through some gaping crack and fall to my death pursuing a woman who didn't even want my help I kept my back against the wall and stepped carefully, feeling with my foot before sliding my entire body over. She knew this cave inside and out, but I was totally blind. If I made it out alive I would definitely have a chat with Kch'lo about getting me my own bio-mask. This was just plain crazy.

Further and further I crept until finally the orange light I had been working toward enveloped the narrow passageway. I spilled out into an inner chamber and saw that a low burning fire had been the source of the glowing orange light I had been following. When I finally got my bearings and focused my vision, having gone from a thick curtain of darkness to now squinting as if blinded by the sun, I saw that the figure I had been chasing was indeed a human female. Only she wasn't in desperate need of my help. Her rigid body was positioned in a fighting stance and her quivering hand clutched the hilt of a large knife which was poised to strike.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" I set my combistick down and stood back up with my hands in the air. "I just want to help."

Her eyes were as wild as her appearance. She was thin with blond hair and bright blue eyes, but her face was covered in streaks of sweat and dirt and her hair was a heaping rats nest. Her covering wasn't the fur of some exotic beast, but a hide that looked as though it had been peeled off of its owner, left out to dry and harden, and then wrapped around her body and secured with a vine tied around her neck and her waist in a figure eight shape. It was haphazard and said much about her Bad-blood captor and how little he regarded her care. She was absolutely filthy, but worse than her physical appearance was the look in her eyes which told me she considered me an enemy. To a degree even I had Stockholm syndrome, I suppose, for sympathizing and bonding with my Yautja captors, but she was outright ready to kill me. At least I knew not all humans were the enemy. Maybe Dalani, but I wasn't ready to pounce on Ayida or Rose or any of the girls as if they were as vile as the kainde amedha.

I took a step forward and her mind mentally broke as I shortened the distance between us. She charged at me and I crouched to pick up my combistick, using it as she hammered her knife-wielding arm down at my skull by catching her would-be fatal blow by the wrist before shoving her back and standing to brace for another advance.

She shrieked and wailed like a lunatic, running at me and slashing at me, but each time I quickly outmaneuvered her and blocked her desperate attempts to fillet me. I couldn't get through to her no many how many times I yelled at her that I wasn't the enemy. I didn't believe that it was a language barrier that separated us but a break in her psyche that forced her to revert to a more primitive mindset. There was hate in her eyes; desperate fear to kill what she could no longer understand and identify with. I went easy on her in the hope that after she exhausted herself she would be more inclined to listen to me, but the more tired she became the more relentlessly she continued to slash and jab the blunt blade of her knife at me, losing control of her emotions as she lost control of her body. She worked through her exhaustion which almost lead me to believe that her labored movement was calculated and planned; that she was trying to throw me off by moving this way so that I become more lax and she could catch me off guard.

But then I assured myself that this wasn't some alternate style of combat but truly only a desperate attempt and she had no idea how to actually defend herself outside of acting like a rabid animal. She was defending herself against an outsider who had just invaded her and her Yautja's home. It was becoming harder and harder for me to sympathize with her; to remain determined enough to keep from hurting her so that I could get her onto the ship in one piece. She was a feral animal and the more she viciously sought to destroy me, the one who had no intention of harming her, the more accepting I became of putting her down. Putting her out of her misery. This wasn't the death of a sentient being I debated whether or not I was capable of delivering. This was something entirely different. This was a mercy killing. Her mind had been warped by a Bad-blood and there was no saving her. She was a menace and if I brought her back to the ship she would undeniably try to harm us or herself or attempt to sabotage the ship. If I left her here she would starve; a slow, miserable death I was not in a position to overlook. She was human. She could have been my next door neighbor. It would be cruel of me to let her live.

So I let her swipe at me one last time before I lifted my foot and planted it against her hip. I pushed my entire body weight against her with my leg and sent her spiraling back onto the ground. Before she could even comprehend that she had let the knife slip from her hand I pounced on her, putting my foot against her stomach before plunging the sharp spear of my combistick straight through her sternum.

Her body became completely still after a winded gasp. And then the sputtering started - the desperate attempts for air while shallow coughing brought up mouthfuls of blood. I drove my combistick in further to put an end to her suffering, but she clung to her failing life if only to spite me and provide me with such a violent vision that would haunt me for the rest of my life. It made me angry that she did this to me; that she would try to turn the tables as if she had been the victim when I had only tried to save her. I was trying to save her and protect her and give her a life among honorable Yautja. She had wanted to kill me; not the other way around. I didn't chase her or hunt her as Kch'lo hunted her Bad-blood. And now she wanted me to live with the guilt she should have taken to her grave.

I withdrew my combistick, her body lifting up as the angled tips of the spear caught muscle and bone on it way out, before plunging it back into her chest, this time above her heart. As the spear went in she inhaled as if doing so would ease its entrance, but as her head lolled to the side she let out a final exhale before the pole of my combistick stopped moving up and down with the rising and falling of her chest. It may have been a painful death, but I had put her out of her misery. She was free from this cave and from her filthy rags and from her Bad-blood Yautja. She could rest now, no longer surrounded by friends she regarded as enemies and enemies she regarded as friends. She had moved onto truth and I only hoped that if I ever found myself in the same position someone would extend the same courtesy and mercy to me.

But now that she was dead I couldn't just leave her here. I had to bury her. Had to keep whatever lurked in the tunnels of the mountain from tearing her apart – a thought I could never live with. And she hadn't been worthy prey in which I would consider taking her head as a trophy. She wasn't what I even considered a 'kill'. She was a casualty. An injured animal on the side of the road whose wounds are too serious to consider tending to. The only solution to its pain is to snap its neck to end its pain and move on, filled with sorrow that it had to be done, but also filled with righteous certainty that it had been the right thing – the _human_ thing – to do. And now she would have a proper human burial, even if it took me days to dig a hole deep enough to keep other beasts from smelling and digging her back up.

My greatest fear was to die in a body of water, whether naturally or by other human hands. That fear had plagued me since I was a child after seeing a dead deer at the edge of a lake; its body swollen and near bursting at the seams, its eyes glazed over and milk white, its soggy flesh emitting a trail of body fluids that created a sheen in the water surrounding it like an oil slick. Though this cave was no body of water and it didn't quite play on my fears as such, it would be just as hideous of me to leave her to swell up and expel the putrefaction of her blood, piss, and shit on the rock beneath her.

Just as I clapped my hands around her ankles to take up the burden of dragging her dead weight out of the cave with me I heard a low hissing.

 _Already?_

She hadn't even been dead five minutes and already the scavengers were pushing their way in.

I poised my combistick though I had no sense in which direction the hiss had come from. I listened, trying to steady my racing heartbeat. Even my blood seemed to make too much noise. I needed to hear; needed to protect myself and the body of this female that needed a proper burial. A gentle hiss again before a brittle groan. I looked down at my feet to be sure I had thoroughly killed her, but it was foolish of me to do that. She hadn't been dead long enough for the pressure of building gasses to be expelled with the hissing and whooshing sounds of trapped air.

I searched the shadows along the walls before circling the fire to the opposite side of the chamber. I saw the creature before hearing another gentle hiss, but I immediately dropped my combistick and ran to it, dropping to my knees and gathering it into my arms. I realized why the woman had tried desperately to keep me from stepping closer; from entering her nest of safety. This Bad-blood had given her more than a cave for a home and a warm body in which to regale with his lust. He had given her a pup. A young one which I doubted was older than a few weeks.

The fucking shame I felt was incredibly crippling, but I had to get this young pup to safety. His mother, at my own hand, was dead and its sire had surely already met the same fate. I tore the hide he had been laying on off of the ground and swaddled him in it before holding him against my chest again, my hand securely at the back of his head to support him. I had no idea what I was doing when it came to Yautja pups, but I did know how to take care of babies. I had experience in caring for the tiny babes in the neonatal ward, comforting and soothing them in their time of greatest need. I knew I could do this; I could get out of this cave and get him to safety. And though I wanted to bury his mother and extend to her the last human kindness she would ever be afforded I knew that without his mother's milk he would die before I even laid her in her grave.

Holding the pup against my chest with one arm and my combistick in the other I slowly scaled the narrow passageway back out of the cave. My steps, though careful, were quicker now as I knew the path I had taken closest to the wall was safe. I had to hurry; had to get to Kch'lo so that he could summon his drop ship with his wrist gauntlet and get us the hell off of this planet. I had no idea what he would do upon seeing me with a Yautja pup in my arms, but I knew he wouldn't harm him. He might not like another Yautja's pup in my arms, but if he even so much as snarled in my direction I might drive my combistick into his chest like I had to this pup's mother.

And then it hit me like a brick wall. I had been holding this pup in my arms for mere moments and already I was ready to fend off any perceived threat; to protect it like a mama bear and its cubs. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, but an instinct I shouldn't have because I wasn't a mother and never would be suddenly kicked into overdrive and I was coasting on a wave of adrenaline.

I burst out of the mouth of the cave and scanned the ground below. Bad-blood: check. Kch'lo carving away at Bad-blood's head: check.

I took the longer way down because with the pup in my arms I couldn't climb down the ledge. Kch'lo looked up at me before returning to his work, having failed to notice that not only was I not accompanied by the female I had been chasing but that I was also cradling her babe in my arms – the same babe that had been sired by the Yautja whose head he was currently disconnecting from its neck.

"Where is ooman?" Kch'lo asked without looking up as I approached. He used gentle strokes with his blade along the neckline, pushing through thick bone and tissue with little effort.

"Dead," I replied gravelly. As if the pup could understand I gave him a gentle squeeze, pulling him closer against my chest. He had settled his head down above my breasts and lied complacently against me, hopefully listening and finding comfort in the steady rhythm of my heartbeat. A heartbeat that would never be his mother's, but would at least for now soothe what great loss he had yet to realize he had.

"Was necessary to kill ooman?" He tore away the head and let it rest on the ground before standing up. For the amount of damage done to the Bad-blood's body Kch'lo was remarkably calm and composed. There was a small nick at his abdomen just above his abdomen shield, but it didn't seem to bother him as he bent and stood.

"Sei-i." I took a deep breath, readying myself to reveal the remaining remnant of the Bad-blood and his human counterpart.

"Kch'lo...how far is Yaut?"

"Not far."

"Are there any other clans within close range? Clan ships?"

Kch'lo turned his head as a gentle breeze wound through the trees, regarding the cool bout of air before I realized what he was doing when his eyes locked on mine just before lowering to my chest. He had picked up the pup's scent with the wind and was now fully aware of what I was holding close to my heart. Maybe he hadn't realized it was a pup yet, but it was definitely male. He knew that scent and if it wasn't his it didn't belong on me.

He charged at me but I held up my combistick, not stupid enough to point the spear at him but creating a blockade so that if our bodies collided I would take the brunt of the force while sparing the pup. But he stopped within inches of me, bristling while a ferocious rumble developed deep in his chest.

"Kch'lo, stop!" Though the pup had tiny nails he began digging them into my flesh, startled by a strange male's growls. The pup was now whimpering.

"Please, Kch'lo. We have to - "

Kch'lo barked before reaching toward the pup but I pulled away, still keeping my combistick between us. He tore it away from me but I let it sail from my hands so that I wouldn't be pulled with it in fear of dropping the pup. He was determined to get rid of whatever was between him and that pup either because he intended to hurt it or because he just didn't like the fact that I was keeping the pup from him at all.

"Kch'lo...We have to get him to Yaut or another clan ship. He needs a surrogate."

Kch'lo's bristling was getting more intense, but I ignored the slowly building warning signs because _I would get through to him._

"Will not survive," Kch'lo said, his rumble bleeding into his tone. "Bring pup back to his bearer."

"She's dead, Kch'lo!" I stepped back, clinging to the pup. I would not set him down next to his dead mother and hope he took comfort in being near to her while starving to death.

"Pup is not weaned. Will not survive."

I peered down into the folds of the pelt and smiled. He was asleep now, probably exhausted from the fright of his mother's desperate shrieks and then from Kch'lo's bellowing. Poor thing was tuckered out and there was no way in hell I was going to dump him back in that cave to wake up covered in death, the only warmth he would find from his mother being the entrails of her rotting corpse.

Kch'lo tapped his wrist gauntlet before turning back to his recent kill. I was just as good with ignoring him as he was with ignoring me so I sat down on a boulder and from time to time looked over at Kch'lo to make sure he was still keeping his distance from me. He used his kit to clean the Bad-blood's head but even as much as I had started out this hunt with the purpose of watching Kch'lo hunt, destroy, and decapitate, I had a new purpose now. Smaller, less glorifying, and totally going to cock block Kch'lo the rest of our journey, but a purpose all the same. Maybe even greater than the one I expected to be the deciding factor in who I thought I was becoming versus who I really was. I was a human living a Yautja life, but this pup in my arms was a concise validation that I was human through and through and no matter what life I lived I would always be prone and vulnerable to human instincts. Even ones that I shouldn't have simply because that piece of me was now damaged. But there it was as bright and as vivid as the lights of Kch'lo's drop ship that slowly descended above us.


	19. Chapter 19 - Raw

_Lillithknight: thank you kindly! hope you enjoy the next chap :-)_

 _Laura: thank you...I had a lot more to add to chap 19, but I needed to end where I ended, but the pup isn't out of the pic just yet._

 _NurseNancyNP: thank you so much and thank you for following, I hope you enjoy this next chap._

 _Katt9033: PM me sometime and i'll let you know where I draw my inspiration from. I hope you enjoy chp 19_

 _AxDevilman: I find if effing awesome that you read to the soundtrack. you literally made my day when I read that._

 _IsisNicole: thank you and i hope you enjoy chp 19. More to come in 20, but i needed to end where it ended for now._

 _FutureEnchantments: I am glad you enjoyed. I hope you find chp 19 as equally enjoyable...lots to hook into chp 20 but i needed to end where i did._

 _Tenfangirl: In chap 19, that is exactly what I wanted to explore. Do let me know if I hit the nail on the head?_

 _Tenjp: I hope I got a good mix of both of what you said, but will emphasize one direction in chp 20._

 _write more soon: Soon enough? I hope it doesnt disappoint!_

 _peachdreams26: thank you, thank you! chp 19 deals a lot more with her coming to grips with what she did and what she wants. i hope you enjoy 19, and even_  
 _though a lot will bleed into 20, i hope you get a little more excitement from the pup in this one!_

 **A/N: Thank you so much for all of your awesome reviews and the swell of people following this story. I can't thank you enough for being motivation when the 9-5 life sucks me in and sidetracks me. There is SO MUCH MORE I wanted to put in this chapter, but I needed it to end where it ends because where I pick up in 20...your eyes would go blind if you had to read it all in one chapter. I apologize in advance if you are the type of reader who prefers dialogue over action/thought process, because I needed to get inside Exia's head for this chapter because I needed to build the foundation for where she is coming from in the chapters to follow. Thank you for hanging in so far and I hope the chapter below is a satisfying read. And a PS: I don't claim to know all the rad shit about the Yautja. A lot I have learned because of my love for them, but other times, it just isn't there so I need to improvise. You'll understand when you get to the names. It's hard as hell deciding on a name that hasn't been used countless other times. So maybe my improvising will be a breath of fresh air. Who the hell knows.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own anything Predator related and I do not earn a single cent in what I write. I only own my characters, some gems, some assholes.**

* * *

Sheer adrenaline propelled my determination to get the pup back to the transport ship, emboldening and empowering the passive nature I had adopted under the command of the Yautja. That rush of adrenaline also solidified my decision to take the pup into my care, despite the unknown ramifications my impulsive decision would later cause – a decision I knew I didn't have enough experience to make or fully understand, but believed in enough to abandon all rationale. What I did know was that once we were back in orbit the pup was out of immediate danger and I could take the deep breath I needed to form a game plan, which I needed since I didn't know the first thing about being a mother let alone a surrogate mother to an alien species. But the moment the drop ship connected to the transport ship that surge of adrenaline that had me ready to jab Kch'lo with my combistick if he even so much as looked at me cross subsided and I was left with the frightening realization that my decision was not only one of uncertainty, but one of permanency; one that even if later proved futile could not be undone. The finality of my decision was made clear the moment the transport ship door locked behind us. The pup was on the ship, he was staying for the foreseeable future, and he needed me. All of me. Even the parts of me that doubted I could do this. Because I was all he had now.

And I realized just how limited I was in caring for him the moment the transport ship door closed behind us. Comfort and warmth wasn't all the pup needed despite my being relatively used to giving only that to the babies in the neonatal ward I looked after from time to time. He needed constant looking after and suddenly _everything_ in my line of vision became a death trap for him. This became overwhelmingly clear when I desired nothing else than to remove my sweat-soaked suit and immerse myself in the tub. I wasn't alone anymore and suddenly arms that had for the greater portion of my life acted solely in a self-serving manner were now suddenly aware of this foreign presence which required their immediate and undivided attention. I had no where to set the pup down. The floor? Sure, but what would happen if I took my eyes off of him for even a second? My perception was limited to human behavior and so in my mind the dangers for this pup were limitless if only because human babies were notorious for finding mischief through their insatiable curiosity.

My existential crisis began in the cave, but my understanding of it was quickly challenged the moment I laid eyes on the tub. I set the pup down on the floor directly in front of my feet so that as I peeled off my suit I was able to keep my eyes on him at all times. Even though I wasn't sure what, if anything, he would do if he noticed my inattention. When I was ready to step into the water I laid him on a fresh pelt by the edge of the tub and kept my hand firmly against his belly. I wasn't willing to bring him into the water with me because I couldn't reach the bottom. I didn't trust myself even if my legs were Yautja sized because I knew that anything could happen – a seizure, a shiver, a leg cramp, whatever – anything could send me reeling over with the pup in my arms. And even if I was brave enough to look past all of the 'what ifs' of my own physical failures that currently plagued my thoughts, _what if_ the pup was afraid of water? What if he went into hysterics and kicked and clawed until wiggling out of my arms? Could he breathe under water? Would his tiny lungs enable him to hold his breath long enough for me to get him? Would he ever trust me afterwards?

But he didn't look like he could move or do anything a part from reach his hands above his face as if cutting through a spectrum of light I would never be able to see with human eyes. He was a miniature Yautja only he didn't have the mandibles and tusks of an adult male. Though he was too young for those awe-inspiring, yet blood-curdling multifunctioning appendages I could feel small bumps beneath the skin surrounding his mouth that told me within a few weeks they would start poking through. The pup's eyes were black now but in time the color of his irises would develop into his sire's coloring as I was fairly certain that Yautja pups did not inherit any traits from their human bearers. I certainly didn't expect him to have blond coils like his mother or squared, blunt teeth like hers. I fully expected him to morph into the likeness of his sire, leaving no physical trace of his human origin as pups born from either a Yautja bearer or a human bearer had little physical differences, if any.

Though I was aware that the Yautja had been successfully impregnating human females, it was while looking down at this tiny pup that my awareness was visually confirmed (as I had never seen a Yautja pup with my own eyes before this one) that he was living proof that human bodies were truly suitable for Yautja gestation. Humans provided the womb and the Yautja provided the genes which would dominate ours; hijacking them to ensure a humanoid form but infiltrating enough strands of code to manipulate, influence, and mold our genetic structure into their likeness. The only physical trait seemingly indigenous to humans, though markedly altered, was the varying pigments of a Yautja hide and their markings. It was difficult for me to say whether this pup shared his sire's coloring as my view of his head had been blocked as Kch'lo tended tediously to his trophy. Ayida had yet to give birth to Shunlau's pup so I wasn't in a position to confirm whether or not his pup would share Shunlau's ivy green hide. I did know that Kal'ar and Kch'lo were similarly colored and Suharek, Kch'lo's pup, despite having different markings shared the same tan hide as his sire. Right now the pup was olive green with no markings whatsoever, yet without Kch'lo's input I would never know if he shared his sire's markings when they surfaced.

Wondering if the pup would become a spitting image of his sire I felt the oppressive weight of guilt in having stolen his ability to ever ponder what likeness, if any, he had to his mother. Even if she had lived he may never find one, but it was his right to wonder and assess just as it was mine to wonder what similarities I bore to my half-brother. I would always be left to imagine if he had my father's mossy brown hair or his mother's, an ash brown. Did he have green eyes like me or were his brown like our father's and his mother? I would never know now because I was never going home. The chance to build up enough courage to seek him out had been stolen from me. And I wasn't sure what would become of this pup after we landed on Yaut or boarded another clan ship. Would I ever see him again to tell him about his mother's blue eyes, how they were as pure and crisp as winter's first frost? Or how her natural platinum hair, though unkempt and caked with dirt, was the blonde women coveted while spending a small fortune at the salon to achieve? Would I tell him that she used her knife as he would one day use his sharp talons, swiping and clawing at me as he would one day swipe and claw at his first rjet or a kainde amedha during his chiva? Would I ever see him after he was turned into the care of someone more capable than I in which to tell him these things? Could I trust whoever reared him to tell him when he grew up all I wanted him to know, and even if they promised, would they even remember? Would they think it was even worth his knowing?

I could trust myself to tell him, but I knew Kch'lo would never allow me to keep him. The pup wasn't his and he had no obligation to provide for it. Sure, he was obligated to find the Bad-blood's clan and return the pup to his clan, but beyond that he was not required to do anything further. He wasn't even obligated to consider my feelings on the matter, but in the end he didn't have to. The pup didn't belong to me. With his sire and bearer dead the pup's care fell into the hands of his tribe - hands I was sure were infinitely more capable than mine. I knew nothing of the Bad-blood or what clan he had been exiled from. I knew nothing of the circumstances surrounding the female he had kept in exile with him. What if the pup had belonged to another? What if she had belonged to another Yautja and this Bad-blood unceremoniously slaughtered him just to have her? I didn't know and I had little doubt that Kch'lo would be willing to fill in the gaps as if keeping me in the dark would make turning the pup over that much easier.

I knew what was best for the pup which made my wanting to keep him all the more perplexing. I had killed his mother. I had wanted Kch'lo to kill his sire – I was bait for that very purpose. It would be cruel of me to keep him. There wasn't much that separated me from the women of my own kind that snatched babies from their mother's arms to raise them as their own, only what I had done was much worse. I killed his mother not because I wanted to fill the void of my own childlessness, but because I considered her unfit to live on account of her savagery and then took the product of the very same savagery that compelled me to put her down and kept it bundled in my arms all the way back to the ship. But she hadn't been unfit to live. She was defending her young. Her psyche hadn't been broken by her time with a Bad-blood as my inner voice suggested while passing judgment over her. I misjudged her; miscalculated her rationale because there was no logical reason _to me_ that she would remain with a Bad-blood willingly - that rather than running into my human arms and begging me to take her away, she wanted to kill me. And because of my gross misconceptions this pup was left without his mother's milk and her scent he probably considered sweeter than perfume. How much more my own scent must have assailed him; a constant reminder of how far his mother was from him.

Unbeknownst to my inner turmoil, the pup looked at me from time to time and cooed; not the cooing of a human baby but the soft rattling of an unlearned, unpracticed purr that would one day become more intoxicating than the purest c'nlip. He was indifferent to the atrocity I had committed with the very same hand holding him firmly to the floor. The same hand that had driven the spear of a combistick into a heart that had once rhythmically lulled him to sleep while in his mother's womb. It would be foolish of me to brush off Kch'lo's better judgment and even worse to defy him when the time came to turn the pup over, but I couldn't help but think my happening upon him had not been mere chance.

I cupped water in my hand and let it spill over the pup's chest and arms. He perked up and reached for my hand, slithering his tiny digits across my palm and in between my fingers, telling me without words exactly what he wanted. Determined to overcome my fear of dropping him in the water I scooped him up and steadied myself against the wall of the tub on the step. With my hands firmly cupping his armpits I dipped him into the water, keeping his chest above the surface. He rattled and shivered in a bout of excitement but did not protest my hands which kept him from exploring. I brought him close to my chest and wrapped my arm around his waist and used my free hand to gently sprinkle water over the crown of his head. I felt the tiny bumps where those organic, rubbery coils would soon protrude from his thick skull; tubes I had so cleverly learned the right amount of pressure to exert when squeezing them to convey to Kch'lo what in the throes of sexual chaos I could not communicate in words; manipulating the intensity of Kch'lo's movement by yanking on them or by holding them taut to slow him down. I wondered the amount of sensitivity this pup would feel when they started to grow in; would they be painful as in cutting teeth? Or would those follicles of hair become vulnerable to human touch only after they fell past his shoulders, adorned in gold rank rings?

When I finished bathing him I stepped out of the tub and wrapped him in a fresh pelt before heading back to my sleeping quarters. I set him down on the bed while I dressed myself, watching him carefully and bracing for any Yautja baby surprises. But he laid still and stared at the ceiling, probably both horrified and wonderstruck that the ceiling was smooth and reflective rather than the jutted, lackluster stalactites above his cavern cradle. I swaddled him in his pelt and held him in my arms while sitting on the edge of the bed. It was late and Kch'lo should have returned to the room by now, but I just as easily assumed he was angry at me for bringing the pup back to the ship, although he could have easily prevented me from doing so if he truly wanted to. I knew that if Kch'lo was not here then he had probably busied himself in finding the nearest clan ship; relentlessly searching for a way to get this pup off of his ship and out of his hair so that he could concentrate on what was ahead of him on Yaut.

Deep in thought I drifted off to sleep but when I opened my eyes the low lighting of the room was blindingly bright which meant it was now early evening. I was laying down with the pup nestled against my side and now sitting up I carefully took him into my arms and left the room. I wanted to find Kch'lo who had, in fact, not returned to the room at all. As much grief as I wanted to give him for that, it was more important for me to know how long this pup would have to wait for the milk only a surrogate could provide.

I searched everywhere and eventually found him in the mess hall. He was sitting with a slab of bloody meat in front of him using his talons to tear thin slices that he set down on a smaller plate off to the side. The sight of him doing this took me by surprise as I had never seen him eat raw meat. I knew the Yautja did – Gikvaris had done it and then made me do it, also. But on the clan ship all of the meat was prepared before being served.

"Bring him." Kch'lo didn't bother to look up at me as his hands continued working to turn the shank of some unknown creature into strips of raw steak.

I inched toward the table slowly, not wanting to stir the pup from his restful sleep, but as soon as I came within arm's reach of the table the pup woke up and started nuzzling my chest, his hands and his mouth searching out that liquid he, after waking with an empty stomach, now craved. His futile search wounded me in ways I never imagined possible; I was helpless to relieve his pain, a pain he felt but could not understand because his mother's milk had simply always been available. And now that milk was gone and his struggling only frustrated him more as if him not being able to find it again was somehow his fault.

Kch'lo issued a low growl which snapped my attention back to him. He pointed for me to sit down and so I did, watching him push the plate of raw meat across the table to me and then gesturing at the pup.

"You can't be serious?" Just as I moved to push the plate back he growled again. "Kch'lo, how - "

"Pup is not ooman."

"Ooman or Yautja, I'm not giving him raw meat. Blood isn't a substitute for milk." If my voice didn't intone my disgust then surely my expression did.

"Pup will starve."

I looked down at the pup who was now writhing after catching a whiff of the bloody meat in front of us. As much as I didn't want him to have it he certainly wanted to have it for himself.

"Will not be long until we reach Yaut." He stood up and watched as I hesitated to lower a strip of meat down to the pup's already open mouth. "H'ko."

I looked up, hand still poised above the pup's mouth.

Kch'lo shook his head. "Pup has no teeth."

I had a blank stare on my face which only seemed to irritate him more.

"Must chew for him."

I stared for several more moments as if at any second he would erupt in laughter as if his statement had been the butt of some joke that had been lost on me, but then I realized how serious he was and I shook my head furiously. "Uh, this whole raw meat thing was your idea. So - "

He barked and the pup and I went still in unison.

"And this..." He glared at the pup and then at me. "Now chew."

 _Yeah. The pup had been my idea. I get it_.

I shoved the strip into my mouth and started chewing furiously, aware that it was quite possible that if I gave Kch'lo any more shit about it he would turn the transport ship around and show me that I couldn't be the child who begs for a puppy but doesn't want to take it out in the cold or the rain or wake up early on a weekend to feed it. Again, I got it. Message received.

When I had chewed the meat enough that it turned into pure mush I picked it out of my mouth and lowered it to the pup's. He used his small tongue to move the pureed steak to the back of his throat but as soon as it slid down he was eagerly awaiting another mouthful. I groaned while grabbing another piece. I was thrilled the pup was getting a meal, but not so thrilled I was also getting a meal, mine of course being a bitter smoothie of metallic-tasting blood. Every time my jaw crushed the thick meat between my teeth blood squired against my cheek and ran down the back of my throat. If I wasn't holding the pup in my arms I would have retched as violently as when I had tasted the kurn meat. But I would show Kch'lo I could do this. Then, after I had proudly proven my commitment, I would run as fast as my legs could carry me to the washroom and jam my finger down my throat.

The pup had about ten strips before having his fill and I promptly handed him to Kch'lo. Kch'lo stared at me wildly, but I held up my finger before he could utter a single word of protest before booking it across the room. I made it two steps out in the hallway before lurching forward and involuntarily heaving, the thought of the blood in my stomach all the convincing my body needed to empty itself instead of waiting for my finger to compel it. I leaned my hand against the wall to keep from dropping to my knees, not wanting to get my face any closer to the already foul smelling contents at my feet. But even that wasn't enough to deter my body from lowering itself, only I moved away from the puddle of blood and bile before getting down on my knees to start a new one.

"Have done well."

I turned my head and shot Kch'lo a hideous glare as he approached with the pup in his arms. The pressure of my convulsing stomach was so intense that tears actually welled in my eyes from the strain. I wiped them away before wiping my mouth against my arm.

"Will not make you do again."

"What?!" I snapped. "How the hell is he gonna eat then?"

"Will do it for you." He trilled before settling the pup against his chest. "Only needed to see if you would do it."

I groaned and smoothed back the matted hair against my perspiring forehead. "And you couldn't have mentioned that after the first piece, huh? Not even the second? Hell, even the fifth?"

He trilled again which made his admission as well as my being on the ground that much more infuriating.

"Remember when you wanted me to show Suon'var that I could speak Yautja?"

Kch'lo nodded.

"Remember what I told him?" He nodded again. "Same goes for you, buddy."

"You will later." He looked down at the mess around me. "After you wash."

* * *

After settling the pup down on the low pallet Kch'lo brought in from one of the guest sleeping quarters I settled myself down next to Kch'lo in our own bed. I begged him to let the pup sleep with us, but Kch'lo was adamant the pup sleep alone, assuring me that although it seemed cruel considering the recent loss of his bearer, it was unnatural to coddle a pup the way 'oomans coddled their young'. If the pup ever hoped to become independent enough to hunt on his own he would have to adapt to the unpleasantness of his current sequestration. And apparently I was making a bigger deal of it than the pup was.

"What will happen to him when we reach Yaut?" I curled up beside him and rested my head against the joint of his shoulder, waiting until I was ready to sleep before moving closer and letting his heartbeat numb me like a steady flow of a morphine drip.

"Pup's clan will come for him. Many ooman pets on Yautja, but none for breeding."

"Will the pup have to wait long for them to come?"

"H'ko. Will arrive before us."

As much as I wanted the pup to get back to a normal rearing, one that didn't require a diet of raw meat, my body responded oddly to the news that as soon as we arrived he would be whisked away. That his time on the transport ship would be our only time together before he was gone from me forever. I had but mere days to experience a degree of motherhood; to have a fleeting glimpse of it before handing the pup over to another human who had the fortune of never knowing how it felt to hand something she had come so close to having over to someone else. This would be the last time I would ever feel the enlivening sting to an otherwise numb womb.

Kch'lo issued a low purr before pulling me to the center of the bed and positioning himself over me. I curled my hands around the columns of his arms above my shoulders and smiled weakly. I appreciated his efforts to console me, but there was little he could do to keep me from sinking into that familiar abyss again. I believed that I had already learned how to cope with the loss of my womb and that I had the sense to know whenever I came dangerously close to edging toward the bank of those turbulent, treacherous waters of regret and bitterness. I knew motherhood would never be a role I would play and that the sooner I stopped trying to attain a watered down version of it the better off I would be. The better off the pup would be. But that didn't stop me from trying to devise a plan to keep him.

Deciding that Kch'lo could provide my mind with a much needed distraction rather than attempting to figure out my life and the pup's, I reached up and slid my hands through his tresses and grabbed a fistful of them at the roots. I gave them a gentle tug before turning over beneath him onto my stomach. I parted my legs, opening myself wide enough for him while arching my lower back and hooking my feet over his calves, a trick I learned quickly enough to brace against his powerful thrusting.

But instead of lowering his hips and bringing himself against my waiting body he slid his arm around my waist and lifted me from the bed with him. He hoisted me up over his shoulder and left the room, carrying me down the hall and into the kehrite. He set me down on the mat before going over to the armory and opening it, retrieving two combisticks and turning to toss me one. I barely caught it, still in a stupor as to why we had gone from unleashing our frustrations in a prone position to an upright one with weapons in our hands. Unless he planned on unleashing his frustrations physically since I hadn't received that verbal lashing I was expecting after bringing the pup onto the ship. And for you know, that thing I never seemed to do before doing something else: asking.

He stepped onto the mat and leaned his extended combistick against his chest while tightening the strings of his loincloth.

"Uh...what are we doing?"

Kch'lo tugged on his loincloth to ensure it was secure before holding his combistick again. "Clearing your head."

I laughed lightly. "This isn't the scenario I had in mind."

"Will not help you numb your anger. Will help you harness and channel instead."

I retracted my combistick, set it down on the mat, and laughed dismissively. "I was rather hoping we could do all three."

Kch'lo dropped down to a crouch and gripped the edges of his combistick. "I would pick that back up if I were you."

"I'm not doing this with you." I rolled my eyes. He was being ridiculous.

He tilted his head to the side. "Will hurt."

I put my hands on my hips. "I meant that if _I'm_ not doing this then neither are _you_."

He chuffed before jumping up and lunging at me. I slid between his legs before he brought his combistick down which crashed against the mat with a thunderous crack. I grabbed my combistick but before I could extend it he brought his down against mine and I propped my elbows against the mat to steadily hold his from pressing down against my throat. He was fucking with me and now I was angry. Really angry. And now the thought of guiding his face down between my thighs by yanking on those quivering tentacles of his suddenly paled to showing him how I could, in fact, harness and channel my inward hostility in a way he wouldn't be quick to forget.

"N'got." He trilled before teasingly emitting a purr. "Sei-i, n'got."

"Ell-osde pauk!" I shimmied my legs up and planted my feet against his abdomen, arching my back and using the mat to lift and push against him. He was a shit brick house and I knew this move wouldn't have worked unless he wanted it to, but he wanted me to spar with him and so he allowed me to move him back so that I could get up onto my feet again.

"Ell-osde pauk? You are not ready. When you are I will take you right here." He tapped his combistick on the mat. "After you realize that focusing your pain is better than numbing it." He lifted his combistick and curled his fingers, inviting me to advance.

And so I obliged him and we danced back and forth, lunging and crouching and parrying each others blows. I was anything but ignorant to the passivity of his movement and thrusts; he was holding back the ferocity of his strength and keeping his easily pricked aggression on a short leash so that I could concentrate on striking at him rather than fending him off. He wanted my inner hostility – that deep seated anger I continually convinced myself had been dealt with – to animate outwardly so that it could be worked and sweated out like a fever. He would siphon out that bitter poison that had infected the void of my womb so that I no longer felt the need to numb its aching by covering it in layers of pleasure, pleasure he would be more than pleased to shower me in if it did not threaten to skewer and pervert my perception of pleasure that I attempted to use to suffocate my pain.

No, Kch'lo would have no part in distorting the raw emotion meant for our bed to that which belonged in the kehrite. So I allowed my blows to become more furious and desperate to the point where in the midst of unraveling the tangled web of my emotions my eyes began to brim with the tears of my frustrations. And he dealt with every strike, swat, and jab of my combistick until I no longer clenched my teeth or snarled and growled like a feral beast. It was not Kch'lo I was fighting, but the conflict within me that kept rearing its ugly head just to inconvenience and spite me. When I had satisfactorily dislodged the crippling rage in my chest he knocked my combistick out of my hands and brought the blunt end of his behind my legs to knock me off of my feet. I fell like a timber and in my utter exhaustion remained on the mat, panting furiously after having expended every molecule of energy my body possessed.

Kch'lo stood over me, his feet at my waist, and retracted his combistick. "Will turn the pup over to clan when we reach Yaut?"

My chest still heaving, I nodded furiously.

A half an hour ago I would have feverishly searched for a reason to keep the pup while at the same time chastising myself for even wanting to. But now rather than placating the hunger of an unfilled womb with fleeting pleasure I extinguished it with unhinged fury. The pup was not mine to keep no matter how desperately I wanted to keep him to satiate the grueling loss of a pup I would never have myself. And I wasn't filled with sorrow anymore; sorrow I confused with concern. If Kch'lo had helped me work out anything it had been that second nature of mine that lived to thwart even the best of intentions.

"N'got." He lowered himself and pulled me up so that I was sitting eye level with him and purred. "Paya help us if there comes a day your womb is opened. It would take an army to pry your pup from your arms, sei-i?"

I laughed lightly, holding my burning, aching chest.

He trilled lightly. "Sei-i. Will be difficult for surrogate to meet pup's expectations."

Yeah. I sure as hell had raised the bar. By the looks of it the next surrogate to take my place had it pretty easy by only having to offer her breast.

I laid back down and slid my leg around and over his, hooking my foot over the back of his thigh.

"Ell-osde pauk?" I flashed him a playful smile.

Now I was ready for that raw emotion reserved for the bedroom. Only I didn't have the strength to walk myself back to it so he'd have to take me right here, just like he said he would. Only I imagined that he hadn't meant a physical location when he made the distinction between the two. Either way, there wasn't anything left to numb. At least nothing Kch'lo wouldn't mind numbing, of course.

* * *

We reached Yaut within several days, but we would remain in orbit above the red planet until our business with the pup's clan came to a close. I expected the clan to send its delegates to retrieve the pup, only instead of a few Yautja meeting our transport ship with their own we were instead met by the clan ship. And they wouldn't be sending a select few of chosen Elders to retrieve their pup. Apparently exchanging the pup was a touch too informal for their liking so Kch'lo and I would be going to them on their ship.

"Exia, come."

My hesitation earned me a show of dominance that materialized itself into a shrill bark. Yeah, unfamiliar Yautja were around so it would be foolish of me not to expect an immediate reaction to any delay in following his instructions. Stripped down it was a simple premise: off-leash freedom on ship; short leash on unknown clan ship. As much as I didn't like being bossed around I assumed his abrupt asshole attitude would keep me safe for the time being.

"Come. Must bring pup to surrogate." Kch'lo slid his hand behind my neck, reinforcing his unspoken expectation of me to listen and act immediately.

We followed the Arbitrator that met us as soon as we docked in the loading bay. I cared little that he only acknowledged my presence to regard the pup swaddled in my arms before falling into conversation with Kch'lo. I should have been excited given the opportunity to explore our new environment as V often told me my knowledge and perception of Yautja behavior and culture was limited by observing a single clan, but I wasn't. I had no idea what these Yautja knew about what had transpired with their exiled Bad-blood and his human mate. Perhaps they were being hospitable now, but when they learned of my lapse in judgment I wasn't so sure their hospitality wouldn't turn into hostility.

The Arbitrator lead us to a room which would be our quarters while on the ship. I wasn't thrilled to learn that our time would be of an extended nature. I was rather hoping we would be well on our way before sunrise as the less they knew about my involvement the better my chances were in leaving the clan ship with my head still attached to my body. As much as I believed Kch'lo would move heaven and earth (or in this case, Yaut) to prevent a single hair on my head from being harmed, there was little he could do in the company of Yautja he had no influence over.

I moved to enter the room but Kch'lo stopped me.

"H'ko. Must follow Arbitrator Dahuhnde to clinic."

"They think I'm sick?" If I was a Yautja my agitation would have manifested into a serious bristle.

" _Exia..."_ Kch'lo used his hand to crane my neck toward him. "Healer wishes to examine pup."

"And you won't come with me?"

"H'ko. Must meet with clan leader. Give full account of dealings with Bad-blood."

I moved to speak, to protest his reason as I knew his account had been summarized in a digital report as all of his encounters were, but he held up his hand and cut me off.

"Bad-blood held high rank among clan."

 _Ugh. Another His'tgar._

No point in arguing with him. He had positioned his body between me and the door so I didn't have much of a choice other than to follow Dahuhnde. I turned without another word and followed Dahuhnde down the hall, shifting the pup in my arms so that his eyes weren't assaulted by that damnable lighting above us.

The clinic was much larger than the one Vik'var'is pricked me with his wares and it was also connected to a room divided by a thick pane of glass. I assumed it was an observatory of some sort; a sterile holding cell where any Yautja or human infected with some contagious illness could be kept for further observations. Dahuhnde was less than interested in satiating my curiosity and tapped on a small metal table with his sharp talon, bidding me to place the pup on it.

After I unfolded the pup from his pelt I laid the pelt down on the table before laying him on it. I held my hand against his chest while Dahuhnde greeted another Yautja that stepped into the clinic who like Dahuhnde gave me a quick glance before completely ignoring me.

They hovered over the pup and when it was clear that my holding him down was no longer necessary and even getting in the way of their examination I backed off and stood at the far end of the clinic. After a short while Dahuhnde disappeared before returning with a woman who looked less than thrilled to be in the clinic where I imagined she also had the pleasure of knowing how fucking awful Yautja needles were.

Dahuhnde brought her over to the pup before turning to look back at me. He was clicking his mandibles rapidly and I stared at him like an idiot before I realized he was speaking to me.

"He wants to know pup's name." Her southern accent, though soft, startled me.

I looked down at the pup and felt a twinge of shame that I had not named him. I was sure he had a name before I took him from the cave, but I would never know what name his sire had proudly chosen for his pup or what his mother whispered into his ear before rocking him asleep. I never dared to ask Kch'lo about the pup's sire – the Bad-blood Kch'lo pursued while using me as bait. I had wanted to bury the memory of the pup's sire and his human mother altogether, but now as this woman, who I assumed was his new surrogate, asked me for the pup's name I felt such shame in never bothering to ask.

Knowing his sire's name would have helped in choosing a new name for him now. Many pups took on a form of their sire's name, such as Kch'lo and Kal'ar had taken from their sire's name, 'Kch'kaloar'. Gikvaris' sire was 'Kva'varis'; Shunlau a derivative 'Shunkalau'. It wasn't always this way, but often the social norm. So I had a choice to make: allow the pup to return to his clan with a name that was tarnished by the misdeeds of his sire's Bad-blood status or give him a new name; a name of new beginnings and honor.

"Kch'exlo." My voice was almost a whisper, wanting to feel the name roll off of my tongue and hear how it met my hearing before saying it more firmly which would give it permanency.

"Kch'exlo?" The woman was not questioning the name so much as likely affirming the pronunciation of it.

If the pup was to become an honorable Yautja I had to give him a name fit for honor. A name he could stand on after such dishonorable beginnings; a name to remind him of his more humble beginnings on account of his human origins. I imagined that outright naming him after myself would be nothing short of blasphemy as I had not grown comfortable enough to forget how inferior humans were to the Yautja, but since I didn't know his mother's name I'd have to use mine to remind him that he may be a big, badass Yautja but he had better never forget what species womb he had been formed in. And maybe when faced with the choice to hunt on Earth he might consider the implications of hunting his own species – the species that had given him the air in his lungs making the hunt even possible. It was a start in getting at least one less Yautja to adorn the walls of his trophy room with human skulls.

"Kch'exlo." This time my voice was not a whisper but a proud affirmation.

The healer scooped the pup into his arms and handed him to the woman. It was bittersweet watching her cradle him against her bosom, knowing how intensely I would miss the curious nuances of this Yauja pup that had for a short time come under my care. I would miss trying to piece together his behavior in an attempt to link its budding existence to what I saw in a full-fledged Yautja, drawing an immense amount of pleasure in seeing these behaviors in its adolescent stages. It brought a smile to my face when I recalled how the pup had rattled off a weak growl when Kch'lo tried to take him from me; how he used the nubs of his talons to scrape against Kch'lo's hand; how his hide became prickled in an attempt to bristle at Kch'lo, this male who was attempting to invade the territory of my chest the pup had staked a claim over.

Or how during his next feeding Kch'lo tended to the strips of meat but the pup refused to eat any of it since it had not come from my mouth. I couldn't even be irritated by it; finding a great deal of amusement in the pup's determination to exclude Kch'lo at every turn. I think the pup's behavior even gave Kch'lo a startle; he, a mighty Yautja Arbitrator, having to contend with a miniature version of himself while said miniature version stole the affections of his mate. As Kch'lo was not the pup's sire it was expected that the pup would act aggressively toward him, an unfamiliar male that encroached upon a territory the pup had established over his human surrogate. I didn't suspect there was much in the universe that could stifle Kch'lo and render him speechless, but this pup did exactly that. It was quite comical to see Kch'lo huff in defeat before storming out of the room, defeated by a Yautja half his size, less than a quarter of his age, and one without tusks and talons.

If the pup hadn't been furious that I had torn him away from the warmth of his nest between my breasts, he was undeniably in a tantrum now as this strange female worked meticulously to sooth and settle his eruption of protest by bringing his mouth to her breast. He calmed down after realizing that no amount of fussing would get him back into my arms, but his mouth refused to drawn the sustenance this woman offered with her breast. She would pinch her nipple into his mouth and wait for confirmation of that voracious suckling and throaty gulps, but he would have none of it or her.

Feeling as though I was a distraction, Dahuhnde swiftly removed the woman and the pup from the clinic and brought them into the sterile room connected to it. I watched and tried my damnedest not to cry, especially in front of them, but the tears came. I had already come to terms with my handing him over that night in the kehrite. I had worked through the storm of my own bitter emotions and was confident that him being raised by his own clan was the better option. Better than the life I could give him. Kch'lo had raised his pups and now as an Arbitrator it was inevitable that his position would pull him away from me and the pup. I couldn't expect Kch'lo to stave off his duties to raise a pup that wasn't his, no less a pup that didn't even belong to his clan. And I knew nothing of Yautja pups. Hell, I barely knew anything about Yautja adults.

But as I sat there trying to remain confident that my decision had been best for Kch'exlo my chest felt bare. I looked down as if my covering had slipped down, but it was as secure as it had always been. It was the pup's warmth I missed; his hands that kneaded and pressed my skin so that he could rest comfortably against my bony sternum. And I wanted him against me as much as he wanted to be against me, evidenced by his continued refusal to accept this woman as his surrogate.

I needed a cat. Or a puppy. I'd even settle for a baby kurn since it would be as prickly and rough as Kch'exlo.

Something. Anything.

Just to fill the void the muscles in my arms ached to cradle.


	20. Chapter 20 - Offer

_sousie: thank you! :-)_

 _Kosongbird: Thank you for the kind words. I am glad you are enjoying so far. I can only say that I have a method to my madness (or extreme sadness), and everything I write, whether fanfic or fic fic, I pull from or mirror something in my life. And I must say, life ain't so bad right now, so I'm sure Exia will get just what she needs :-)_

 _Priestessofeternity: Do tell what made you mad, I must know! Glad you are enjoying now though!_

 _LAURA: ty, ty! So for Chap 20, I've split it again…I have this ongoing document, but I want to break it apart so its not all mashed together. Hope you enjoy._

 _Ally: I really love him and I so wish that he would fly down to earth and scoop me up. For real. But, since he never will, I'm glad you are loving him as much as me :-) I hope at the end of Chapter 20, you'll be satisifed that I have worked Gik back into the picture._

 _Tenjp: since early on I wanted to work a hound into this story, and eventually I will. I love cats, but as far as I know, they don't have an alien equivalent. Love dogs, and since the Yautja have an equivalent, I'm sold on getting one into my story. Though I'll have to think of a wicked name, because my own dogs names just wont work._

 _Sunstreaker's Squishy: If he knew humans, he would have gotten her a puppy right after leaving the clinic._

 _xXWhoWantsToKnowXx: as for eye blinding, I just have this running document right now. I usually start each chapter with an idea in mind, and name it to encapsulate the idea. But for 19 its just been a running document because I cant split the idea, need to keep going. Ever read something on the net so long your eyes start to burn? FanFic on the web is horrible on the eyes, but the app is buggy. So I'm trying to shorten my orig chp 19…we'll see. :-)_

 _FutureEnchantments: I promise, everything will come full circle. In good ways!_

 _write more soon: hope this is soon enough. I had the flu which felt like the bubonic plague._

 _Tenfangirl: only for a season_

 _peachdreams26: I love that. 'feel so many feels'. Love it. Ty :-)_

 _Lillithknight: ty ! hope you enjoy the rest !_

 **A/N: Sorry so long for a new update. I had the bubonic plague a/k/a some horrific strain of the flu that made my body feel like it went through a meat grinder. I didn't eat let alone have the stregnth to flip open my laptop. So here we are. I've carved out another section from my ongoing chp 19 document to update sooner. Because I've still got a lot going on with the current situation. Hope you enjoy … do love your feedback which keeps me motivated.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Predator/Predators/AVP/Yautja/Etcetera. I do not make a penny off writing any of this. I write because I enjoy it. And because apparently so do my readers :-)**

* * *

When the clinic door opened I shot up from my seated position on the floor and met Kch'lo just as Duhahnde closed the door behind him.

"Chakuube will speak with you."

I assumed that Kch'lo's meeting with the clan leader was to discuss what had transpired between him and the Bad-blood and the circumstances surrounding the pup, but why Chakuube wanted to speak with me was as unimaginable as it was unsettling. Kch'lo was within his right to speak for me and on my behalf and Kch'lo was more than capable of relaying any details Chakuube might wish to know. In fact, I _wanted_ Kch'lo to speak for me. Especially to this clan leader...or any clan leader I would ever meet again.

My facial expression was on the brink of revealing the anxiety that erupted within me but I focused on remaining composed so that Kch'lo would not have to worry I would make a royal fucking mess of things in front of a clan leader he had no previous dealings with. I hadn't held my tongue with Suon'var so Kch'lo had every right to distrust my better judgment now, but I was miles away from the woman I was that day. Kch'lo had shown me much since that day and taught me more about myself than I would have learned in a lifetime on my own. I owed him good behavior. At least until we left this clan ship. But that didn't stop me from wanting to know why Kch'lo's report hadn't been sufficient and why Chakuube now wanted to speak to me personally. I would always be irritatingly analytical no matter how much I grew or how much wisdom and insight I gained. Gikvaris knew as much.

"Why?"

"Pup is Firstborn."

I had to think about that for a moment. I was inclined (or hardwired or programmed or overly opinionated) to just start rattling off at the mouth, but I realized that this moment was one of _those_ moments that required a complete quieting of the mind as understanding would not avail itself if I gave into verbalizing the rapid succession of questions that kept firing in my brain instead of focusing on the answer he had given me.

Suon'var was Firstborn. He was the next Yautja in line to lead his sire's clan. Kch'lo was Firstborn, although he had abdicated and the title went to Kal'ar. So Kch'lo's answer was more than just an answer; it filled in the gaps concerning who the pup's human bearer had belonged to and why Chakuube had personally met our transport ship instead of entrusting the task to another.

It also made a hell of a lot of sense why Chakuube would be interested in speaking with me at all since I was the only one who had firsthand knowledge of what happened to the pup's mother. I was certain that in both Kch'lo's digital and verbal report he had mentioned the necessity to 'eliminate' the pup's mother, but if she had been Chakuube's mate it would be foolish of me to not believe he would want to know every last detail, right down to the moment she took her last breath. I only hoped that in Kch'lo's report he had mentioned (or rather, forewarned) we didn't have time to give her a proper burial. I was praying that I didn't have to reveal that nasty little detail myself.

It was a very good thing I hadn't given into my fucked-up motherhood musings and kept the pup, totally owning the 'finders keepers, losers weepers' phrase.

"And the Bad-blood...?" He was the only real mystery left.

Kch'lo shifted his weight and leaned against the wall. It was obvious he thought he had a million better things to do than give me the lowdown on this clan's sordid history, but he knew better than to expect me to enter that room without some sort of cheat sheet. "Bad-blood was Firstborn Chuboem: Chakuube's only living pup. Chuboem murdered clan's only female Yautja who was carrying Chakuube's pup."

I felt the blood drain from my face. I hoped the Yautja considered the murder of young ones the universal, unforgivable crime humans did, but murdering a young one while in the womb - and adding fratricide on top of it - I doubt Kch'lo had served the sort of justice this Chuboem character deserved. The crime itself was appalling, but it dawned on me that Chuboem had been made a Bad-blood for murdering Chakuube's Yautja mate and unborn child, a status deserving of death even for a Firstborn. Chuboem had meant everything to his sire and his clan and received death as his punishment. How much more would I, a human who meant nothing to this clan, suffer for having murdered Chakuube's human mate?

I stepped back and shook my head. "No. Anything he needs to know is in your report, right? I mean...Kch'lo..." Now I was struggling to keep my shit together. "You do realize what I did, don't you?"

"Sei-i. Killed Chakuube's ooman pet and took his pup." His tone was smooth and indifferent to my panic. I made a mental note to ask what the hell was so much more important than addressing my current emotional upheaval.

I looked down the hallway to the drop shaft that lead to the lower levels and quickly began to calculate the amount of steps between me and it.

Kch'lo trilled and stepped closer to me. "Can try."

"Can try what?" _Ten, eleven, twelve..._

"Will not get very far."

I groaned. He was right. I might have considered challenging him if I thought there was a chance he would be in a mood to meet my challenge and then 'punish' me afterwards, but I had a feeling that our host's request (or quite possibly, command) to speak with me would not be made second to any impromptu sexual escapade.

So giving up on my grand plan of reenacting The Great Escape, I decided that appealing to his vanity - in the sense of his strict ownership of me - would be more advantageous than trying to appeal to a rationale that would never understand my fear in confronting another Yautja. Fear didn't register in him; didn't compute. So there was little point in trying to convince him of mine. About as pointless as trying to squeeze blood from a turnip.

"I thought you enjoyed having me around... "

Kch'lo tilted his head. "Sei-i?"

"You know Chakuube is going to kill me, right?"

Chakuube wasn't just going to kill me. Killing me would imply a swift mercy, the kind I didn't expect to receive for killing a clan leader's pet and taking his Firstborn pup. I imagine Chakuube had something much more slow and painful in store for me for murdering Kch'exlo's mother, essentially kidnapping him, and feeding him raw meat instead of his mother's milk. Well, since Kch'lo didn't seem to share the same growing concern I'd sure as hell be sure to mention that the whole raw meat situation had been Kch'lo's idea. Maybe earn some brownie points to avoid being torn limb from limb.

Kch'lo hooked his arm around my waist and steered me to the door, as usual ignoring every stiff muscle beneath his hand screaming to turn tail and run. It was incredibly wearying that the one person who should have a say in anything I did, didn't.

Duhahnde was waiting by the door when Kch'lo opened it. My mouth made as if to convince him one last time that this wasn't a good idea but Kch'lo jostled me forward and the door shut behind me before I could utter a single word.

Unaware of my inward, growing anxiety and indifferent to any visible materialization of it, Duhahnde lead me across the clinic and through a back door into a connecting common room. He motioned for me to have a seat on one of the cushioned divans. Normally I would have done exactly as any Yautja wanted, following their instructions to the letter, but I wanted to remain on my feet more than pleasing Duhahnde as it was the best and only position to be in if and when shit hit the fan. And not that I was about to toot my own horn, but even though Duhahnde was an Arbitrator his attempt at being intimidating fell short of that hair-raising, blood-curdling persona _my_ Yautja Arbitrator exuded naturally. Duhahnde might have thought that by not speaking to me he was conveying just how little he thought of humans, but that is exactly the reason why I wouldn't think twice about my decision to remain standing. Kch'lo and any other Yautja worth their salt didn't need to employ the use of the cold shoulder to demonstrate their disapproval or utter distaste for something. What they used was much worse than the teenage snobbery Duhahnde had going on. In other words, Duhahnde was a pussy and he could snap and tap his talons to his heart's content and I still wasn't going to give a good goddamn. And it felt great knowing I didn't have to give one because unfamiliar clan Arbitrator or not I knew Kch'lo had my back.

Duhahnde disappeared sometime after I turned my back to him and crossed the room. I stood in front of a window wall that overlooked a lower level room that was as open and as wide as the ship's loading dock, but instead of the sterility of metal plated floors and walls the room was an alien botanical garden for the sole exclusive use of the clan's human bearers, of which there were many. Instead of being housed in a common room like the one I was standing in - one Ayida and the girls were confined to with the few exceptions of meals at the kiddie table and the actual act of coupling which I sure as hell hoped didn't happen in the common room - this clan's human bearers had the luxury of artificial light and winding walkways lined by lush greens and blossoms, mimicking a tropical paradise and providing a welcomed distraction to the otherwise bleak existence of breeding. It didn't take a pregnancy to be immediately drawn to the familiarity and beauty we had all left behind (or snatched away from, depending upon the mood of the one being asked) what seemed like an eternity ago. Again I regret my previous vehement hate for the woods after being stuck in a floating tin can for months on end. I was like a desert dweller pathetically clawing my way toward a mirage to find that my paradise apparition was in fact the oasis of my parched, sun-scorched pining.

There were divans and settees scattered about the room occupied by women who were either nursing their pups or too pregnant to take a stroll about the room. Some of the women in the early stages of pregnancy appeared to be sowing while sitting at a cluster of round tables, taking strips and sections from a heap of pelts to make themselves new coverings or whatever else their boundless minds could imagine a need for. I was suddenly stricken with a fierce jealousy for Ayida, whose hands were infinitely more talented than these women's hands combined, who was confined to the drab common room of our clan probably still struggling to find a way to work the stones I had given her into her hair. Meanwhile these girls had a fair amount of tools at their disposal that could easily accomplish what I was sure Ayida was determined to figure out if it was the last thing she ever did.

In the midst of my resentment I caught sight of the southern belle the pup had been handed over to. She was sitting with the pup in her lap, gently bouncing him up and down despite the onslaught of his fussing. I watched in anguish as each time she brought him to her breast he wailed and pushed against her with his tiny hands. Though muted by the pane of glass between us I could almost hear his hissing and wailing, imaging that it had and would continue to steadily grow more baritone as he developed his rumble - a rumble of which at this stage would be considered more of an attitude than an outright threat which brought a smile to my face. How I had loved watching the ferocity of his personality blossom, able to be so near to him as he developed body and mind and inched closer toward the hellish nature of a mature Yautja. Chuckling on account of his feeble though absolutely adorable attempts to harness and perfect that intimidating bristle, something I would have to think twice about the day he went from being the size of a cat to towering over me like a menacing grizzly bear. It had only been three days since I had handed him over and already he looked as though he had doubled in size. And yet there she sat as uninterested and unmotivated in a creature whose existence our own planet was blind to without rising to meet the challenge not only nourishing but stimulating and satisfying presented as if she had anything else _in the universe_ better to do. Never mind that doing _just_ a good job would earn her some serious brownnosing points with Chakuube, she had been given the ultimate Rubik's Cube in a cosmic expanse where boredom was more likely to drive one insane than actually living amongst an alien species prone to foul temper tantrums.

And God did she look awful with sallow skin and deep, dark circles encasing her wide set eyes. Her posture was absolutely pathetic and radiated defeat - something I didn't believe she was entitled to feel or give into considering she had what I and many other women would never have. I wanted her to succeed. Wanted her to _want_ to succeed. I really did, but then there was a part of me that quite sinfully relished in the possibility that the pup needed _me._ I shuddered on account of how vile the formation of such a thought was, but there was little point in keeping my moral aptitude in check. How could I expect myself to remain righteous and altruistic when the very conditions of my environment had been founded on exploiting the weakness of others, fed and thrived on rivalry, and mandated that humans do the same to prove their worth?

It was becoming exceedingly difficult to hold onto what made me human.

"Ooman cannot appease pup."

I whirled around and sank against the glass as a Yautja approached. I hadn't heard the clinic door open or the heavy tread of his footsteps as he crossed the room, his long red robe sweeping behind him as he closed the distance between us. He shared many of the physical features that set apart the younger Yautja from the older, more distinguished Yautja; the spines along his forehead and face, the pronounced horns on the crown of his head, the length of his tusks that time eventually forced to curve inward. Gold and d'lex rank rings chiseled with clan markings adorned the numerous coils splayed over his broad shoulders, coils that were such a deep, inky black they almost appeared blue; their movement resembling the rhythmic swaying of jellyfish tentacles. That crippling fear that had in times past overwhelmed me whenever in Kch'lo's presence resurfaced; that lung-constricting dread that confirmed no matter what rank or position this Yautja held there was little I could do to divert his attention elsewhere. Definitely not a Duhahnde who needed little convincing that fraternizing with a human was but a vile chore.

He didn't introduce himself as Chakuube but I suspect he felt no need for an introduction. Aside from his rich attire he wore an armor collar of d'lex links which I had only ever seen worn by Kal'ar prior to this moment. And then there was the obvious telltale indication that this Yautja was the clan leader as Chakuube wished to speak with me, so that was kind of a dead giveaway that he was who I suspected he was. What other Yautja would want to embroil themselves with a non-clan human if it didn't involve constricting them to death with their net gun or running their wrist blade through their gut? Well, maybe Gikvaris. He seemed like the type that really enjoyed inserting himself in an inappropriate situation just for the hell of it.

 _God I miss that asshole._

"I had hoped pup would do well with Shayna...one of our more experienced surrogates." He stepped forward to the glass and clasped his hands behind his back, his gaze falling to the same stretch of room my eyes had been fixed on prior to his entrance. "But he refuses to nurse."

He stood so close to me that I could feel the heat from his hide and smell the sweet perfume of oil in his hair. And if I could smell him then he could certainly smell me and I wasn't so sure whether or not he would consider my growing alarm an insult as I had learned that the scent a human emits when under duress is quite bitter to a Yautja, though the intensity dictated their perception and processing of it, but he seemed either unaware or indifferent to my growing alarm or its accompanying scent. That he didn't outwardly acknowledge it like Kch'lo who just had a habit of calling a spade a spade, it was a relief even if it was only a courtesy and not just some unobservant perception. Were Yautja even capable of being unobservant?

Trying to minimize the awkwardness of the immense intimidation I felt in his presence I sought the distraction only conversation would provide. "It is the same with ooman young. The fault is mine that he refuses to nurse."

Chakuube chirred and turned his head to look at me. It was hard not returning his gaze. I felt obliged to, but Yautja weren't like humans who appreciated direct eye contact when speaking. Perhaps they did with their own species, but one considered inferior? Eye contact bordered an outright challenge. Like staring an openly aggressive dog right in their beady little eyes. You were just asking for him to sink his teeth into your leg. I had to think I had been allowed to slide on more than one occasion on account of being female _and_ because I had either belonged to a clan leader or an Arbitrator, but I imagine many a man had lost his life staring down a Yautja. There was certainly never going to be a start of any pastime staring contests between humans and Yautja.

"Ooman pups can suffer from a condition called 'jaundice'. Happens frequently with ooman pups that are breastfed, though for many different reasons. Most physicians… _healers…_ push for the ooman to combat the rise in bilirubin levels by giving the pups a supplement we call 'formula' and - "

"Form-ula?"

It was refreshing that he was actually considering each word I spoke rather than glossing over familiar terms and gleaning those that did not register, taking those terms foreign to him and uploading them into his database to investigate and learn from at a later time. And you'd never actually know they were dissecting your sentences; they visually perfected an understanding, engaged demeanor while mulling over something as simple as a human expletive - too proud to interject and get clarification which would basically be admitting that their bank of human speech wasn't as abundant as they portrayed.

"It's processed milk..." I paused, reconsidering explaining the how and why humans used processed cow's milk. _That_ concept itself was something I barely understood myself. "Lets just say that its synthetic lactation." I waited to see if he needed further clarification, but he didn't so I continued. "After the jaundice clears up the mother – " I had to keep reminding myself to speak in terms he would _prefer_ to hear, never forgetting how the Elders considered the human language repulsive to their hearing - "...ooman bearer often finds that the pup now prefers the added nutrients of the formula over its bearer's milk...Formula does not require the pup to work to get to the hindmilk as formula already contains the fatty acids of hindmilk." I realized how crazy I must have sounded and laughed lightly. "You'll have to forgive me for rambling. It's not every day I know something a Yautja does not."

I placed my hand against the glass and smiled weakly as I watched Kch'exlo protest the woman's continued efforts to bring his mouth to her breast.

"Pup is not ill. How then is this ooman Ex-ee-ah's fault?"

I sighed. I wanted to correct my previous assumption of sole blame by adding that said blame should be shared with Kch'lo, but ultimately I was the one who had interfered with the pup's nursing by killing his mother. Kch'lo did what he thought was necessary to ensure the pup survived considering there were no alternatives.

"I spoiled the pup by giving him meat." I cringed, waiting for a slow building rumble that would turn into a deafening roar before a heavy hand clamped down over my neck and pulled me toward the chopping block. What I had done was worse than ignoring a first time mother's request not to give her baby sweets and then shoving a lollipop in its mouth. Only this wasn't a first time mother but an alien with talons and tusks that would shred said sugar offender to bloody ribbons or blast them to smithereens with his plasmacaster. But I didn't feel or hear anything other than a low, throaty trill.

"Ooman must have spoiled him with more than meat." His attention returned to the female that struggled to soothe the temperamental pup. "It is not only her milk that he refuses."

"Have you tried a different ooman surrogate?" I knew it was bold of me to ask as if I was assuming he was not intelligent enough to draw the same conclusion, but there was more at stake than worrying about wounded pride. I wanted the pup to thrive more than the female holding him now and she was lucky I was subtlety suggesting the pairing was simply a mismatch instead of calling her out on her shit.

"Have many lactating oomans, but none without pups. Surely you must be aware of how strong a pup's claim over his bearer can be..."

I laughed lightly. Oh I knew alright. "I can't imagine what he must have been like with his mother." I turned and put my back against the glass. "I can't help you with the whole nursing thing, but maybe you should give him a surrogate willing to puree raw meat with her teeth." I laughed again, feeling that phantom sensation of shreds of meat stuck between my teeth. "And maybe one whose Yautja mate isn't so territorial...Kch'exlo doesn't like sharing."

Chakuube trilled before placing his hand on the small of my back. The sensation sent a shiver down my spine, one I hoped he didn't feel but knew if he had it might bring him some sort of pleasure to know how something as simple and straightforward as contact could instill fear in another species. Having that ability could have come in handy in my younger years. He moved from the window and I kept in step with him so that his hand, now deftly resting on my back, didn't become an applied pressure and moved toward the cluster of divans Dahuhnde wanted me to sit so vulnerably on display on. But when Chakuube motioned for me to sit down I didn't feel such a strong urge to resist. So far he had been more than courteous simply by resisting the urge to visibly express any irritation I surely caused him. I had yet to cross paths with a Yautja that didn't bristle at the mere sight of me. And the fact he didn't rip my face off upon entering the room. Because I still had no idea what he knew about my cave dealings.

"Have you been told who the pup's sire is?"

I nodded. Kch'lo ensured I was well versed at least on that little tidbit of information before throwing me into the lions den.

"And what of the pup's ooman bearer?"

"H'ko." Beside her being his pet I knew nothing _of_ her, only what I had done to her.

"Ki'sei."

He disappeared a few minutes before returning to view with two goblets in his hand. He handed me one and I took it, but I was reluctant to drink its contents. I was sure that he had good intentions and that his offering me c'nlip was owed to being a good host, but good intentions or not only one of us would have any explaining to do to their overprotective, overbearing Yautja mate. And even if his own pup had murdered his Yautja mate and he somehow happened to have a spare one onboard I seriously doubted he ever had any explaining to do. Being a clan leader was like having a free pass out of every awkward, nerve-racking conversation that would ever present itself. I knew this because Kal'ar had used his pass to get out of explaining anything to me.

"It pleased me to hear that you considered the honor of my pup in naming him...But pup was named long before Chuboam stole his bearer from clan ship."

I smiled and shrugged. Mattered little that the pup wouldn't have the name I chose for him so long as he had a name – a good, honorable name and not one that had been chosen by his murderous mei'hswei.

"Pup's bearer was not chosen by clan for breeding. Was pet." He lifted his cup to his mouth before turning to face the the walled window again. "Discovered during hive cleansing. Took her as pet on account of her striking physical features."

He didn't need to explain. I already knew that it was a common practice - if not outright expected - for a Yautja to take a living trophy and show it off like arm candy. V had told me that there were some Yautja that actually took kainde amedha as living trophies; removing its inner mouth, the barb at the tip of its tail, and its talons before dragging it along in chains or keeping it confined in its own dedicated trophy room. Not so different from anything humans have down throughout the ages. Not so different than humans present day with their fancy cars and flashy clothes. No matter what the object was on display it would always be an expression of status so I understood Chakuube's attraction to the pup's mother. With her piercing blue eyes and platinum hair he must have saw her as a gleaming sapphire against a mossy backdrop of Yautja females; a visual rarity too alluring to resist turning into a prized pet.

Which is why the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I had no way of knowing how much he knew about that night in the cave, but being in a room alone with him while he regaled me with his affection for his ooman pet had not escaped my notice. Notice I struggled to keep from turning into panic.

"Firstborn Chuboem was repulsed by breeding with oomans. Tolerated such practices from Yautja of lesser rank, but was enraged when I took pet as mate. He perceived an ooman-born pup would tarnish our line. Sought to overthrow my position as clan leader by eliminating the suckling my Yautja mate was gestating. Planned to turn over my ooman mate to the Black Yautja who are indifferent to hunting Yautja, regardless if they are still within the womb. Believed the shame would persuade clan to offer their allegiance in support of Chuboem as clan leader."

I had yet to hear a kind word about these super Yautja that apparently towered over even Gikvaris, yet no one seemed to have the bright idea of hunting them down one by one and extinguishing their intraspecific bloodlust.

"Chuboem deceived even the best of my warriors by killing a Bad-blood whose crime was of a lesser degree and so not as actively pursued as Chuboem. After killing him Chuboem assumed his identity and used the Bad-blood's scout ship to make his way toward one of the Black Yautja's preserves...Only he became stranded after stopping to replenish food reserves when both thrust engines malfunctioned." He paused and clicked his tusks together, eyeing my curiously. "Speak."

I shook my head to let him know that whatever I had done to make him think I had anything important enough to interrupt him with had not been intentional.

"More than your expression gives you away. Do you wish to know how I have come to know these things?"

"I...I assume from Kch'lo's report?"

He shook his head lightly but no matter how mild his movement those rank rings clinked and clanked like a glass chime in a gentle breeze. "Chuboem's bio-mask. Upon death every Yautja's bio-mask transmits a detailed catalogue of events to his clan ship so that it can be reviewed. Kch'lo was unaware of Chuboem's true identity until he ran the markings of his rank rings through the database. Chuboem may have assumed another's identity but it was to be expected that a Yautja so petulant and vain would not remove all traces of the former position he held." He paused and narrowed his eyes. "I have seen my pet in the images captured by Chuboem's bio-mask, but it is the moments leading up to her death I now wish to know of."

My hands became slick with sweat and I felt nauseatingly hot, leading to a deep urge to untie my covering which had suddenly become so unbearably heavy, but I was skeptical that doing so would alleviate my present discomfort. And so I decided that going home to Kch'lo a drunken mess wasn't as bad as soberly confronting Chakuube with the details of my killing his pet. At this point all he knew was that her death had been necessary, implying she had been dangerous or unable to be subdued, but he didn't know why. Didn't know what fanatical reason had compelled me to do it.

 _Fuck._

But that wasn't the response I offered because thankfully I still had the presence of mind to consider every word that spilled out of my mouth from this point forward a matter of self-preservation. So I kept it simple and less vulgar.

"Sei-i." And then I took a gulp of c'nlip, wiping away the dribble that trailed down my chin as I furiously sought to numb my splitting nerves. Then I took several more.

"Says that her death was necessary." Chakuube had gone from impassively glancing at me from time to time to locking his vision on me like a hawk zeroing in on a field mouse.

I contemplated singing like a canary and enlightening him to every bloody detail of her death - even the guttural hiss of her throat when I drove my combistick deep into her chest - just to be rid of the awful pressure that would eventually cause my own chest to cave in on itself, but I was determined to hold firmly to that composure of complete control I had been painstakingly working to exude and to tread lightly with the depth of those sordid details that even I was reluctant to recall.

But I couldn't outstare him without cracking and so I lowered my eyes to my lap, staring at the bottom of my now empty cup.

"It is better that pet met her death at the hand of another ooman than at mine."

As shocking as his admission was I still could not – _would not_ – lift my eyes to his. Already struggling with the taboo nature of our being alone together, I was well aware that the Yautja had the whole 'windows to the soul' thing down pat so looking him in the eyes might reveal my own similar satisfaction in having killed her; that sick satisfaction I buried deep within me that was moments away from being unearthed not by a shovel but by a pair of two glowing, golden eyes. A mutually murderous satisfaction was not the sort of connection I wanted to have with him.

"It would have been honorable for her to fall on the blade of her knife than to live beside Chuboem...To bring forth the honor of her womb only to tarnish it with Chuboem's disgrace."

I felt his eyes studying me as if looking for a tiny fissure in my calm exterior he could ram a crowbar into and break wide open, but the more I faltered under the intense pressure of eyes I felt boring into the crown of my lowered head the more desperately I tried to assure myself this was strictly born of my own paranoia.

"In the same manner that Dahuhnde and Kch'lo assist Yautja who have fallen from honor, you have redeemed my pet's honor by assisting her death."

His words alleviated the pressure on my chest but rather than let out an exhale of relieved laughter I nodded and set my cup down on the floor. I had to get the hell out of that room before I lost my mind, but as I stood my legs began to tremble. My body was infamous for failing me in the most crucial moments.

"Thank you," I said while backing up toward the door, silently cursing and threatening my legs to get me there. "But the credit isn't mine to take. It's Kch'lo you should be thanking."

 _"Ooman."_ His tone was deep and resonant and all the warning I needed to keep from taking another step backwards. "Kch'lo is obligated by duty to restore honor to Yautja that have lost it. What obligates ooman?"

Restoring his pet's honor hadn't been my objective, but not even a gallon of c'nlip could make me lax enough to admit that out loud.

"Sympathy." I followed up with a nod as if to assure him that was my final answer. So that I could assure myself of the same. I had to believe that only pure and unrestrained sympathy had motivated my actions, but I would go to my grave before telling him how I really saw his pet as a wounded animal in need of a good neck snapping.

He trilled. I was sure that he found my being Kch'lo's mate, a highly respected Arbitrator's whose services were enlisted by outside clans, amusing as I had no thought or consideration for restoring honor to those that 'lost' it. To me it wasn't something one simply lost but freely gave away, but telling a Yautja that was suicide. Or maybe he found it pathetic rather than amusing. I was still trying to get the whole trilling thing down because it could be born from pure amusement just as easily as sheer sarcasm.

He met me in the middle of the room and those traitors for legs of mine went completely still. "The purpose in my speaking with you was not to learn of your reason for killing my pet. I am satisfied with Kch'lo's report. Though I have no cause, even if I were suspicious of your motives it is not a Yautja's place to meddle in the affairs and squabbles of oomans." Naturally having to bend slightly forward as he towered over me he straightened himself and squared his shoulders, adding more height to his already lofty stature. "I must make my intentions clear."

"Intentions?" I blushed and shrank even more than I believed humanly possible. "Have you spoken of this to my mate?"

I never really had to refer to Kch'lo as my mate because it was pretty obvious in the way he projected his absolute dominion over me even from across the room, but tonight I needed to make a point of letting Chakuube know since he had not been blessed with witnessing the intricate dynamics of mine and Kch'lo's unusual pairing. It was hard to believe I would find another Yautja willing to reward me after baptizing his Elder pup's bed in Yautja flesh and then enlighten me to the endless avenues of revenge that would not involve an Elder or lead to my getting caught at all. And suddenly I regretted not challenging Kch'lo by barricading myself in the drop shaft because then there would be no mistaking what Yautja I belonged to after Chakuube's nostrils were immersed in Kch'lo's scent. A scent I was sure would overpower that sweet, fruity oil slicked all over Chakuube's tresses the way the musky perfume of an old woman could overpower an entire department store fragrance counter while closing the throats of all those she passed by.

"Sei-i." He stepped forward and closed the distance between us and without warning lowered his hand and pressed it against my abdomen. My blood quickened as he touched me with the sort of intimacy reserved only for Kch'lo. "Have cared for my pup as you would care for pup of your own womb. I must honor you by offering a place among my clan in which to rear him as if he were your own."

I started that nervous laughing thing again before clapping my hand over my mouth. I was sure he was the first and the last Yautja either born without a short fuse or who had successfully learned how to keep it from burning up because my laughter, which I assumed he knew was not at his expense, didn't bring on even so much as a mild bristle.

"Kch'lo has approved of arrangement though he leaves the final decision to you."

Now hearing that... _that_ was a swift kick in the ass that propelled me out of my emotional fetal position and had me feeling like my spine had just been filled with liquid steel.

I stepped back and broke the connection of his hand. "Why?"

I didn't bother to downplay the offense in my tone or mask the expression caused by a building sense of betrayal. I could have been worried that my soured demeanor and flippant tone needed an explanation and then an apology so as not to offend him, but I just kept stewing on the possibility that maybe that's why Kch'lo had been so nonchalant when I tried convincing him Chakuube was going to kill me. And that made me even more indignant because this sort of arrangement wasn't something to be nonchalant about. And it didn't help that c'nlip had a way of breaking down even the most practiced facades and that I had chugged it like a college champ.

"Consent to the arrangement?" He paused, perplexed by my reluctance to immediately accept. "There will be many times the affairs of Kch'lo's clan takes him from you...Brings him to places you are unable to follow. Is honorable for him to consider the feelings of his ooman mate."

The Yautja and their fucking honor. It was their answer to everything.

Knowing myself enough to know that if I stayed any longer I was bound to offend him as the more time I spent trying to figure out a possible motive behind Kch'lo's agreement to this arrangement the more sour my mood would become; the more unguarded I would keep my tongue, tempted to regale Chakuube in an onslaught of rhetorical questions I was sure he could not even attempt to answer because the Yautja that I needed answers from was not in this room. So for now I would leave with my dignity still intact...Because if I really did wind up accepting his offer I didn't want him to have any doubts as to my mental status while holding his pup.

I placed my hand over my heart and nodded. "You honor me greatly...but I must speak with Kch'lo before I can give you my decision."

He stepped back and regarded me with the same respectful nod. It was a gesture not often offered to a human by a Yautja. In fact, only one other Yautja had done so and right about now I could use the wisdom hidden beneath the surface of his snarky ass comments and opinions. I supposed Chakuube would treat me differently than other humans since I had brought his only living pup back to him. And now he was asking me to raise that only living pup.

But before I could wrap my head around that or what I actually wanted I needed to hear all of this from Kch'lo first because I didn't believe for a second that Kch'lo would relinquish my care to another Yautja. But if I was wrong and he was now ready to turn me over as if he had gotten all the use he was going to get from me, I needed to at least try to prepare myself with what to expect going into the care of another clan and what would happen once my surrogate duties were over. The pup wouldn't stay small forever and it wasn't like I had the equipment to be a useful surrogate or a breeder.

Would Kch'lo really relinquish his claim to me and leave my newly single status up for grabs again or would I really only be an honored surrogate with no strings attached? I didn't want Kch'lo to give me up. Even thinking he _would_ didn't make any sense. I wanted the pup, but I wanted Kch'lo more even if it meant never holding that pup – or any pup - in my arms again.

* * *

Yautja translation:

Ki'sei - Understood / Affirmative


	21. Chapter 21 - Quandary

_**KTCameleon: Hope this is soon enough! Had a hell of a week since my last update. Thoroughly exhausted, but now working on 22.**_

 _ **HubrisBrutus - Thank you! I really appreciate the positive feedback. I really needed it after the past week, too.**_

 _ **xXWhoWantsToKnowXx - I think I've alluded well enough as to her decision, but the reeaaaal talk has to happen in 22. And thank you…I feel worlds better, but my son is still sick and on top of that my 8 month old dobbie was vomiting pure blood this weekend and had to rush him to overnight vet. House is pure chaos.**_

 _ **sousie – She may have a trick or two up her sleeve for him ha!**_

 _ **Ally – I love my Kch'lo, buuut I kept the interaction with him short in this chapter b/c I had to get in some Gikvaris time. I missed him too much not to.**_

 _ **priestessofeternity - hopefully after this chap you will see that I haven't let The Bitch off the hook. Paybacks are a bitch and I wouldn't let Exia miss the opportunity to deliver it.**_

 _ **FutureEnchantments - Thank you, I am feeling much better. Except my son cant kick his cold. Id rather have it instead of him. East coast is plagued by this fake-ass flu.**_

 _ **Tenfangirl - We are definitely working toward the latter.**_

 _ **write more soon: here ya go!**_

 _ **Tenjp - Thanks for chatting with me and sympathizing with the whole inexperienced mother thing. God I would punch those docs in the face if I could go back in time. But….here's to Chap 21 – hope you enjoy!**_

 **A/N: Sorry this took a little longer than expected, but life is...life. And I needed to do some thorough editing. This chapter is a little longer and sort of jumps around, and maybe each section isn't as detailed as my readers would prefer, but I needed to zip through this one to get onto the next. Because after 22 the whole story is going to shift and I need to focus perfecting that. Thank you for being such wonderful readers, reviewers, and followers! Nothing like some positive feedback when the week has been a literal hell. And Ps Ps, in the end of this chapter some of you may not agree with her perception of purpose. Youll know what I mean when you get there. I don't mean to step on toes. I am a stepparent myself, so in no way am I diminishing the value of being one. So...just accept this as part of HER inexperience.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Aliens/Predators and do not earn a penny writing any of this. Also, even though I've rated this story 'M', I have to remind you that there is language and content not suitable for youngins. Don't say you haven't been warned :-)**

* * *

My body wanted nothing more than to yield to the pull toward our guest quarters as if my bones had been infused with magnets the moment I stepped out of the clinic, but listening to that mature voice I liked to tune out more than what was good for me I went to the botanical common room instead of hunting Kch'lo down and in the height of my emotions pouncing on him. Most of the women had filtered out of the room for their evening meal and though I was curious to see if their kiddie tabled looked like ours I was much more drawn to the scenery I might have the chance to actually enjoy while sifting through the turmoil of my thoughts. I needed to be alone and this was probably the last place on the ship anyone who would even want to find me would come looking since I wasn't pregnant and didn't have a pup.

I sat down on a divan with my knees tucked under my chin and for a long time observed the interaction between the remnant of women who stayed behind with their pups now nestled against the folds of their coverings. Before I got to sorting out the reasons behind my anger toward Kch'lo or try to unravel the ulterior motives, if any even existed, of the rare opportunity Chakuube had offered me I wanted to know if I could do _this_ first. _This_ as in being a mother. Could I even be a mother? Could I sit here day after day with women who I would never understand and who would truly never understand me? I knew that my inquisitive speculations were premature and borderline judgmental, but I doubted they shared the same tumultuous beginnings I had been faced with when they began their new roles in Yautja society. Their newfound existence seemed ordinary and simple, as least from where I sat. I didn't see any of them curled into a ball, so small and so compact that they nearly disappeared from view, mulling over which road to take now that a giant fork had been jammed directly in their path.

I imagined that maybe they even fell into their roles comfortably, accepting their new honored statuses as bearers with little trepidation as their roles hadn't included proving their worth to Elders or vying for a clan leader's attention – the ever present reality of losing said attention would mean an even greater measure of insufferable misery. As these women were all toting pups – and those that had left were either carrying pups in their arms or in their bellies – they hadn't suffered a devastating injury or its equally devastating aftereffects and I was sure they never would. Their Yautja mates were of little concern to Elders and so they would never be entangled in their web of intricate scheming in an effort to redirect the flow of a political undercurrent. I couldn't be sure if their Yautja mates changed from season to season, but even if they did I was sure there would be minimal consequences for not providing a Blooded Yautja a pup within the breeding season. There would always be another season for each of them to achieve success within another coupling. I was doubtful they had permanent mates of the highest standing that they would be caught in the throes of an infertility conspiracy.

It was also unlikely that any of them had been trained to use a combistick or had been taken to a preserve to hunt; tasted raw kurn meat or torn away its network of flesh before polishing off a worthy trophy. And judging by the way I had observed their earlier interactions and those presently I was sure they hadn't been pitted against each other or had the pleasure of having one of their own antagonize them from the moment the gates sprung open or who had been instrumental in their downfall. And if I told them all of these things would they even accept me, or would they look at me the way I was looking at them right now? Was I only pretending to decide whether or not they were wholly different than me or had I truthfully already made up my mind that they were? I could expect that any application to join their Yautja PTO committee would be promptly stamped with a glowing mark of rejection.

And as sure as I was that they would reject me as much as I would reject them, would I be able to cope with their rejection of me? Would I be satisfied living separate and apart from them in my own private common room, of which I was sure would be provided to me on account of the status of the pup I held in my arms? In accepting Chakuube's offer would I be setting myself up for failure? I had no idea who these women were or what they were capable of, but I was an outsider who hadn't earned my dues. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and now I would be strolling into their territory like some unwanted, inexperienced supervisor who acted as though she was the H.B.I.C. but to everyone else in the office it was was blindingly clear _that_ was the farthest from the truth. I hadn't earned my dues. At least not in a way they would understand.

The only one who would understand was Ayida. If Chakuube had offered for me to care for his pup with my clan I would have immediately accepted and sealed the deal by making a blood pact with him. Because if I ever had to raise anything, whether it was a human baby or a Yautja pup, I wanted to do it alongside of Ayida. Not only was she a veteran at having human babies and Yautja pups, she was my friend. She knew how to soothe my soul without having to say a single word. We had bonded the moment we met and I knew better than to believe it would happen again. If someone is lucky enough to find their platonic better half the first time around it was almost a guarantee that could practically be written in stone that they would never find it a second time around.

And then there was Chakuube himself. I hated the fact that his character boiled down to the one word the Yautja liked to throw around a bit excessively, but he was _honorable._ Or at least he seemed honorable. Like a father just wanting to find a good stepmother for his kids: it was an added bonus if she had ravishing good looks and a sultry personality, but the main focus was whether or not she was or could be a good mother to his children. But as much as I had seen over the last several months that confirmed my comparing Yautjas to men was as aggravating as it was futile I was helpless to keep from assuming their behavior was linked to those men I had known in my own life – those odd nuances women instinctively attributed to their male counterpart's behavior in order to rectify and rationalize what they would otherwise never be able to comprehend. Those believable promises to keep matters strictly business men made but never managing to keep their cocks in their pants long enough to use the excuse that they had at least made a meaningful attempt. And so a part of me wondered if Chakuube _could_ keep our arrangement strictly business.

Whether or not Kch'lo intended to be rid of me I never forgot how His'tgar described a Yautja in rut and how a human should avoid crossing paths with one at all costs. I had learned through V that most of my clan's Yautjas that entered 'rut' were kept away from the main levels of the ship where humans were likely to be – and even further from the common room where one might find a non-gestating female too irresistible as the apex of her legs throbbed and oozed like an infrared orb of estrus as radiant as magma. Literally irresistible as in a rutting Yautja would _literally_ pry the doors apart, forcing them backward into their alcoves before snatching said female in estrus and mating her with such violent force it was quite possible she would die under the strain of his onslaught. According to V Yautjas went into 'rut' as often as women went into 'heat'. Yeah, they didn't call it a 'cycle' or a 'period' or 'Aunt Flow' up here. To the Yautja a mating initiation – no matter the species – was rather uncomplicated; a female displayed signs that she was ready to mate, whether it was the body language of a lordosis posture or signaling with the baying of a mating call, and a male responded. Only these females - _us -_ happened to be human and were not in control of the heat signature our undercarriages gave off during our cycles of fertility which a Yautja considered the peak of sexual receptivity. And given that they hadn't been ingrained since birth that 'no means no' it was just as likely a non-rutting Yautja would attempt to initiate copulation as it was an absolute guaran-fucking-tee a rutting one would abandon the courtesy of an attempt and just take.

And even if I didn't believe a word His'tgar or V said I had learned vicariously through Kch'lo how dangerous a Yautja in rut was. As reserved and composed as Kch'lo was apparently it wasn't enough to control himself while experiencing this mind-altering state, but he had the wisdom to know that as soon as its violent tendrils slipped around him he needed to sequester himself from me and basically everyone else…because _that_ kind of rage was no respecter of persons (females) and wouldn't discriminate against a face in need of a good punching (males). The first time Kch'lo vaguely alluded that his brief seclusion was rut related his separation lasted three days. It was pure agony for me, of course, but a blessing for everyone else since the typical rut lasted well over a week. Since rutting didn't disappear with the onset of Yautja menopause and he would never completely eliminate it he learned to master it by limiting its duration. But even then I hadn't been able to convince him that letting loose might provide us with a fresh bout of sexual energy (not that we really needed it) and providing him with the sort of stamina I imagined would turn into an experimental session of sadomasochism. There would be absolutely no weakening that iron-clad reserve of his which should have been rather easy considering a rutting Yautja would outright rape a 'ready' female and here I was practically begging for it. Just the stroke of luck the artist painting the fucked up canvas of my existence loved using.

But who would have the audacity to sequester a Yautja whose pup I was toting around? A Yautja who had every right to check in on me and said pup at any time, regardless of the break in mental stability a temporary physical condition caused? And who in the hell was going to sequester a clan leader anyway? But did I even have a right to be thinking like this? Was I prematurely jumping to conclusions? Because there is _jumping to conclusions_ and then there's _jumping to conclusions I have no business jumping to._ The offer had been laid out: accept a position within the clan and raise Chakuube's pup. If there were any strings attached I was sure Chakuube would have mentioned it right after. He seemed like a no-nonsense kind of Yautja that didn't play the whole offer, counteroffer, offer to counteroffer game. I was sure he would see what a real waste of time it would be to take my quandary to Kch'lo, resolve said quandary and accept Chakuube's offer, only to be forced to reconsider after Chakuube presented the strings.

Despite the many unanswered questions I presently had there was no question of _if_ I would do a good job raising his pup if I agreed to do so because if I accepted I fully intended to be nothing short of the flawless soccer mom women openly criticized but inwardly aspired to become. And if I did such a wonderful job with one pup would he want me to raise another? A continual, renewable contract I would get sucked into signing over and over again because its terms promised stability. These strings that were at the root of my conflict could turn out to be many, few, or none and so it was pointless in trying to assess their existence and the scope of their effect on me since no one was ever going to pull back the curtain and reveal the madness behind Yautja logic. All I knew is that I wanted a sense of normalcy in my everyday dealings, even if my circumstance was anything but normal. I just wanted a routine I could count on; whether that was traveling the universe with Kch'lo, hunting with Gikvaris, raising another Yautja's pup, or even something much less desirable like working beside the eta in the lower level slaughterhouse – as long as it was something I could depend on greeting me with every onset of evening. Maybe my role would only last a single season at a time, but ironically I was starting to miss the consistency of the emotional upheaval I faced with Kal'ar. The prize of winning his affection and ultimately his seal of approval was never guaranteed, but at least I woke up each evening fully aware of what must be done and working diligently toward that end. I was worlds happier at Kch'lo's side, but even now I didn't know exactly what the 'end' was; only that I wanted to learn from him and never make him second guess - or worse, regret - his decision in taking me as his mate. Even if it was in name only since I could never actually live up to fulfilling the duties a 'mate' entailed.

At this point it was clear that what I really needed right now was to return to my roots – seeds of which I had unwillingly, tenderly nourished in a layer of soil imbued with hate that produced thorns of revenge sharper and tougher than rose prickles, roots that had grown deeper and given me an even deeper purpose after my womb had been stolen from me. Roots that would endure no matter how many spinose sprouts my adversaries pulled out in an attempt to unearth what reminded me of the pain of my purpose and gave me the determination to vindicate myself. I hadn't forgotten about Dalani and my promise to make her pay for all that she had done to me. If I accepted Chakuube's offer it was a very real possibility that I would never see her again and I wasn't sure if that was something I could live with. How could I let her get away with what another had done to me at her behest? Doing so would give her my blessing to do so to another. And seeing how she was limited in torturing a group of women I cared for, including one I loved like a mother, a sister, and a best friend, I couldn't in good conscious let her off the hook.

The road that damned fork had caused to spit in two was now as bleak and ominous as ever but I knew that a decision had to be made and heaven help me that there was only one being capable of promptly pulling my head out of my ass in order to make that decision. Babysitter or not he had started something he hadn't finished and I fully intended to remind him of his obligation to me as his student. But the only way of reaching Gikvaris was requesting to do so through Kch'lo. And how I was going to tell Kch'lo that I needed Gikvaris' wisdom more than his was going to be tricky. And also a miracle if I came out of that conversation without serious battle scars. But I didn't have time to map a carefully plotted conversation because I suspected Chakuube wouldn't be kept waiting long. How did I know that? Because he was a Yautja. Impatience was built into their genetic makeup.

* * *

Is it true?" I stood in the doorway of our guest quarters with hands on hips and eyes narrowed into two slits.

My building temper would have normally blinded me to anything other than the object of my anger but it hadn't escaped my notice that only my belongings had been delivered to the room; my coverings, my suit, and the small box Kch'lo had given me with His'tgar's head neatly tucked inside. He thought I was crazy for wanting to take His'tgar's skull down from above our bed, but _he_ was crazy for thinking I would be parted from it for any amount of time. But as pleased as I was to have my most prized possession in close proximity to me the absence of Kch'lo's belongings and the presence of mine silently indicated that Kch'lo was leaving and I was staying.

"I must heed the call of the Ancients." He crossed the room and reached for my hand but I recoiled violently.

"You're leaving me here?" My tone was a scathing hiss. And for good reason. He owed me an explanation. Right. Fucking. Now.

"Will return when finished." He stepped aside and gestured for me to step all the way into the room, but I was in the middle of contemplating whether or not I should just turn and leave _him_ without an explanation. See if he liked that.

"Your anger is misplaced. You have been well aware that my business with the Ancients is of a pressing nature." Both his tone and his eyes sought to scold me, but his leaving without me took a back seat to the root of my anger.

"I am well aware that there will be times I cannot follow you, but I might have taken the news this time a little easier if I hadn't just been offered a permanent room on _this_ clan ship taking care of _this_ clan leader's pup. Oh…and also that _you_ agreed to it."

Kch'lo responded with a deep scowl before his hand shot out and clamped down on my arm, yanking me into the room. He locked an accusatory glare upon me and slammed his fist against the panel to shut the door.

"You wanted pup. You – "

"Yes, I wanted the pup, but that doesn't mean – " When he flared his mandibles, an expression that had never been directed at me before, my indignant interjection abruptly ceased.

"You could not keep pup. Did not matter that I knew he was Firstborn. Did not matter if pup was Firstborn or eta. Pup was not yours to keep. Offer has been made for you to look after pup. Still does not matter if pup is Firstborn or eta. You are angry I defer decision to you. Would you rather I answer for you?"

But he knew I wouldn't have wanted him to; to take away the choice of making such a hefty, life-altering decision. And I absolutely hated when people – or in this instance, a Yautja – used this sort of strategy during an argument. Technically his view had merit, but he was missing the underlying reason behind my resentment in the first place. He hadn't even asked me. Didn't even warn me. And because of that I had looked like a total fool when Chakuube made the offer. I thought Kch'lo and I had covered the whole wanting/needing a 'heads up' the night His'tgar's head went on the wall.

"No. I am angry with you because you know all I wanted since the moment I laid eyes on the pup was to keep him. You know that if I accept I will gain a pup and lose my mate. Even if I am totally wrong in assuming you would have to give up your claim to me, you'll still be gone because when duty calls I cannot go with you."

I was so worked up that tears of frustration started to brim but I wasn't about to allow them spill out. He didn't deserve my tears, no matter what powerful emotion had caused them to well up.

"Exia..." His voice was soft and for a moment I believed he understood me, but then that hard, unwavering demeanor returned and I realized even if he did understand me, in his eyes he was still right and I was still wrong. "I will ask you again: do you trust that I know what is best for you?"

 _Un-fucking believable._

I threw my hands up and stormed away from him. I was the one who had a right to be asking questions. Not him.

I turned my back to him and faced the window, choosing to look at the fiery planet in the distance rather than him. The same planet Kch'lo was now ditching me for to attend to his needy Ancients.

"There are losses and there are gains in accepting Chakuube's offer and remaining among his clan. Returning to our clan...there can be only losses. You will return and when clan affairs take me from you, you will have Ayida a short while longer before she goes from clan bearer to Shunlau's pet. Shunlau has already made his intentions clear that now having fulfilled his obligation to contribute to the clan's future generation he wishes to pursue the Solitary Hunt. Live the life of a Lone Wolf. He will take Ayida with him, Exia. And who will you have then? Gikvaris? You will be long dead before he returns."

Of course deep down I knew all of this already, but hearing him say it out loud delivered quite a sting. I was powerless to stop Shunlau from taking Ayida from me and because I was mortal I wouldn't live to see the culmination of Gikvaris' work that had taken him from me. But I wouldn't allow myself to travel down the thought avenue of mortality because right now I was a young able-bodied woman, but what would happen to me when I passed from being a cougar to a coyote?

"Chakuube is wise and honorable. Will not require more of you than rearing his pup. Chakuube will afford his pup every concession due a Firstborn, but will not punish you for refusing. He seeks only to honor you for honoring Firstborn. You can refuse, Exia. Pup will not die."

 _Fuck Chakuube._

But I didn't mean it. I wasn't angry that a Yautja – a _very_ important Yautja – sought to honor me. I was angry that _my_ Yautja seemed to have little consideration that all the honor in the universe didn't amount to shit if I didn't have someone to share it with. But he was Yautja and I was human. Our perceptions of concepts would always vastly differ. Honor meant _everything_ to a Yautja. Humans? I think I speak for mankind (or at least womankind) when I say that any human would be willing to commit moral turpitude just to find a counterpart to grow old with. It's practically ingrained in us from birth. So I could choose honor and rear Chakuube's pup and by the time I could enjoy the fruits of my labor in raising the next future clan leader, which was comprised of a great deal of sacrificing, I would be an old hag. Terribly lonely and in need of a good boning, but already lacking a womb my options were limited. Add a lack of youthful features and not even an eta would take a second glance at me.

But loneliness could reach me even in my youth if I returned to our clan. Would intermittent reprieves with Kch'lo in between his leaving the clanship be worth the confines of isolation within my quarters? Or the ever ominous atmosphere I would endure? Because I was sure Kal'ar hadn't forgotten the way Kch'lo mocked and chided him in a single breath in front of Suon'var. Even in an alien universe I was sure paybacks were a bitch and even more certain that Kal'ar would never strike at Kch'lo directly which meant that I would bear the brunt of whatever payback Kch'lo had coming. And that was a karma bus I did not intend to stand in the middle of the road waiting to get run over by.

"You didn't correct me." I turned around to face him now. "When I told you that I assumed this whole arrangement would involve losing my mate...You rescinding your claim to me…You didn't confirm _or_ deny it."

"Would be safer for you if I did." His gray and black eyes observed mine for a long, drawn-out moment, pensive and scrutinizing before quiet amusement spread across his arresting features. "But will not. Even if you beg." He clicked his tusks before turning sharply on his heels, a mass of black coils whirling about him and slapping against his back as he exited the room in an authoritative display of triumph over our lovers quarrel.

I smiled to myself because I was sure he believed he had gotten a rise out of me in leaving without a reassuring farewell kiss/mandible face lock. Or that coveted quickie. But I wasn't angry at all with the measure of coldness he left with because at least I knew before he walked out of the door that he had no intention of shuffling me into the arms of another Yautja. Because I didn't know Kch'lo to give up anything even if at times it felt like the bane of existence. But even if he had satisfactorily reassured me that I belonged to him and he wasn't in a position nor would he ever be in a position to hand me over to someone else the conundrum I found myself in required the harsh, uncoated counsel of a Yautja that would neither gain nor lose in influencing my decision. Gikvaris certainly wouldn't benefit in convincing me to hang around and he wouldn't lose by swaying me to literally jump ship.

* * *

Not only did I not have the time to confess to Kch'lo my need to contact Gikvaris but I didn't have the nerve either before he left in a swell of arrogant testosterone, but if I had anything it was the practiced art of resourcefulness I had learned in an even harsher environment than the one I found myself in these days. And so I went to the only Yautja who had an interest in providing me with what I needed to speed up making a decision and what held me back from making that decision. He was also the only Yautja who wouldn't question my seeking advice outside of my mate's because he still didn't know the dynamics of mine and Kch'lo's coupling and since he wasn't familiar with my clan he could easily conclude that this was perhaps a permitted practice. It felt wrong manipulating his vested interest and deceiving him into believing there was no need to contact Kch'lo on Yaut first, but there was little time to waste languishing over my lapse in morality. Chakuube's pup wasn't adjusting himself to his southern surrogate despite a lack of any foreseeable change to his current situation.

And I learned that if the odds had ever been in my favor they were in my favor _right now_ because apparently that snarky and intolerable, yet totally cutthroat mei'hswei of mine was training his litter of Yautja cubs on Yuat _right now._ Apparently un-Blooded Yautja wound up in Yaut's jungle biome for boot camp prior to heading into unpredictable, unmonitored preserves where all the _real_ training happened. Gikvaris had taken me to a preserve because not only had Yaut been too far from the clanship for Kch'lo's liking, but I was only one student. Gikvaris apparently had thirty to keep an eye on and what better place to get their feet wet than a jungle he knew like the back of his hand and had the added advantage of being completely monitored and protected from outside threats.

So before Chakuube arranged for a scout ship to take me to Yaut he also took care of the groundwork for me, groundwork as in getting a message to Gikvaris that I was coming and finalizing the rendezvous point because Gikvaris had no intention of leaving his students in the jungle without his supervision. He also had no intention of bringing them into the city and giving them the opportunity to piss off Yautjas who knew they were inexperienced teenagers and easy to overcome. Or worse: piss off an Ancient. So like the spoiled brat he was I had no other alternative than to insert myself into Yaut's jungle training grounds long enough for him to regale me with his cynical wisdom, but brief enough not to cause Chakuube any irritation in the delay of my decision _or_ have the length of my absence give cause to alert Kch'lo that I had left the clanship. Because so far Chakuube believed I had Kch'lo's blessing…He obviously had no idea that Kch'lo's blessings were few and far in between and totally reliant upon what he had to gain by them – another reason I greatly admired Kch'lo: he played the game well and expected me to understand, accept, and adapt to playing it alongside of him. So technically I was living up to his expectations, only I wasn't alongside of him while playing it.

The scout ship landed on the outskirts of the jungle and the Yautja assigned in piloting the ship escorted me as far as the end of the loading ramp before returning to what I was certain was far more important than chauffeuring humans. I expected Gikvaris would keep me waiting and so thankfully I had come fully suited and prepared to push through a thick, unforgiving brush. He wouldn't make it easy for me considering he never had before. Not even shortly after having woken up from my clinic deathbed demanding that I stop being lazy and get back to training. And honestly I knew I could use the physical exertion to at least trim the fat off the meat of my concerns so that no time would be wasted in details that would be trivial to Gikvaris.

This jungle was unlike the one I had hunted kurn with Gikvaris in or the one in which Kch'lo had used me as bait in that the moisture was so thick that within fifteen minutes I was utterly exhausted. The humidity tore into and sapped any energy reserves I had a hope of tapping into later. The heat was unbearable, but the humidity only intensified it and doused the canopy and terrain in a haze of mist that made scaling the ground impossible. So I did what Gikvaris would do: I took to the trees. I first found a tree overgrown in enough vines that getting my footing and using the crisscross network of vines to climb up was a cinch. The hard part was enduring the overwhelming urge to take a break every three steps; every muscle screaming for a reprieve as the humidity continued to chip away at both my resilience and my sanity.

Once I was close to the canopy the air became easier to breathe and I rested a while before mapping the connecting branches I would use to delve deeper into the jungle. I knew this was going to be an exercise in willpower; an unwanted gift Gikvaris wrapped with a big 'fuck you' bow just to get back at me for that little quip I made about his feet before his ceremony. Or he was doing this to prove to his troupe that if he didn't take it easy on humans who in their eyes were weak and perhaps deserving of some slack then they sure as hell shouldn't expect that he would have any mercy on them. Either way, it was one of those dick moves I had come to expect from him.

But I hadn't expected that he would make me go all the way, wherever 'the way' was actually taking me. By the time the double monoliths marking the entrance of the jungle were now but tiny chess pieces it was sunset, but even with the sun sinking beneath the horizon the heat it had brought with it upon rising did not relent. I imagined the sun wasn't the only factor in the temperature, but the second biome of Yaut which was a boundless desert terrain with streams of lava. I imagined that no matter when the sun went down the atmosphere was a constant swell of heat, which is why I was now understood why every Yautja coveted living here. These creatures loved their heat and mimicked their home world's environment by turning their ships into their own personal saunas.

The moon which had been present even while the sun was high above was now the only source of light outside of the pink beams of ionized energy drawn from the upper atmosphere down into their city which was the source of their advanced technology; the source they had captured and bottled in plasmacasters and all the other flesh eviscerating weapons they liked to use on other species and sometimes their own. I settled down on a large branch and decided to sleep off my irritation with Gikvaris' little game until a snapping of a branch echoed across the canopy, sending my adrenaline into full swing and eradicating any desire to sleep. Something was within close range and I hadn't forgotten my lack of a weapon. Though I had the courage to convince Chakuube of my need to see Gikvaris I didn't have the steel nerves necessary to request access to his personal armory. I also hadn't expected Gikvaris to make me travel through a botanical hell to get to him, either.

I kept to the shadows while creeping across the branches, but if my suspicions were accurate in that my guest was a Yautja it mattered little if I remained in the shadows or stepped out into broad daylight. Those suckers saw everything, especially with that damned bio-mask which practically had x-ray vision. Except x-ray vision paled in comparison to all of the spectrums of light they hunted with, each specifically tailored for certain terrains and even certain species. Like those kainde amedha that didn't give off a heat signal…So even if I had the fortune of having acid for blood they'd still be able to find me. There really was no escaping a Yautja; they had the advantage at every turn as far as I could tell.

The only weakness their armor had was the de-cloaking mechanism whenever they extended their wristblade or combistick. And that's exactly how my newfound friend revealed his position to me, whether it was intentional or not. He was about a yard from me when his ghostly outline first came into my line of vision before the curtain of the surreal rolled itself back and his shiny d'lex wristblade came into full form. I stood, huffing as if he would understand that his dramatic entrance was totally unnecessary given the extreme amount of time Gikvaris wasted in sending his escort to retrieve me, but when he hunched his shoulders and hitched his arms toward his chest, an attack stance I was well familiar with, no other thought crossed my mind than getting the hell out of the trees and running like hell. Because going toe-to-toe with a Yautja on a level their combat skills were unrivaled was just plain suicide.

But I wasn't a monkey who could swing from vines or a panther that could use its claws to anchor itself into the bark of a tree while scurrying down. I certainly wasn't a lithe snake that despite a lack of appendages or sharp talons could use triple the amount of muscular force humans used to scale a tree and so when I grabbed onto a vine and set my foot down against another embedded into the bark and the vine my hand was wrapped around pulled away from the tree, my descent to the ground was anything but graceful. In fact it was clumsy, loud, and over before my gasp could even become a guttural shriek. Only that would-be shriek turned into an exhale of moans as the pain in my ankle realized and intensified each time I tried to use it to prop myself up. I was positive I hadn't broken a bone, but I was sure as hell I had sprained something or rolled my ankle. Either way I was now at a great disadvantage in running like hell as I had planned before abruptly deciding to practically fling myself off of a twenty foot high tree with only a sagging vine to stifle what would have been a harder fall without one.

And that damn Yautja that had been the cause of my panic was no longer in the canopy threatening to barrel into me with ten inches of alien steel, but standing right in front of me. Like he had floated down from the canopy on a cloud to demonstrate how godlike he was and just how powerless I was to get away from him. He certainly had no plans of stalking and antagonizing me. In fact, with his head cocked to the side and his stance now passive it almost appeared that he was perplexed that I had fled from him; that I should have just took what was coming up there instead of robbing him of his honor by turning my worthy prey self into a weak, pathetic creature unable to get back up on her feet. I could almost feel him blaming me for _his_ current predicament. He hadn't wounded me: I had done that on my own.

I knew he must have been one of Gikvaris' cubs because Gikvaris would have looked at me the same way. This wasn't just a species-specific trait: this was the powerful, characteristic influence of the biggest Yautja asshole the universe would ever know. Gikvaris _always_ blamed me whenever I robbed him of the joy of wounding or besting me first by doing it myself. He bristled, rumbled, and snarled whenever I robbed him of the opportunity to strut in victory, instead leaving him with energy spent in vain because I had succeeded in defeating myself first. It made me wonder if Kch'lo had shared the same chauvinistic attitude in his youth when training Gikvaris or if Gikvaris had just been the product of a Sire with a major attitude malfunction and a bearer with an equally hot-tempered nature, each with a hint of self-entitlement. Because that's exactly what this muddled expression of body language was: entitlement and the affront to it.

But in spite of everything that Gikvaris did that drove me absolutely wild, what he didn't _do_ was deal in the currency of low blows. And that's exactly what this Yautja did. He crouched down in front of me and let out a robotic chirr from behind his bio-mask, tricking me into believe it was pure curiosity he was gazing at me with rather than impending retribution. I was so transfixed by him that I never even saw him cock his fist back before I felt an eruption of searing pain explode in my jaw.

* * *

When I opened my eyes I was lying on my back facing up toward the adjacent treetops of the canopy. Though the web of branches and fauna almost formed an impenetrable barrier a gray sky was still visible through it which indicated it was daytime, though early morning as the glowing hot rays of the sun had not yet penetrated the narrow slits of the canopy to decimate my strength yet. But as I slowly came to my senses I realized I was moving, being dragged along the jungle floor which was clear of overgrown vegetation. We were deep in the jungle now, clearly too far from any moving water which would have promoted undergrowth.

I lifted my head up off of the ground and saw the backside of a fully armored Yautja with his hand firmly clamped around my ankle. He dragged me behind effortlessly and only when I began to dig my free heel into the soil and claw at the ground around me to slow him down did he turn his head, giving my ankle a sharp yank before turning his attention back to the path before him. I gave an equally sharp tug which didn't deter him from moving forward so then I pushed my leg forward, a laughable attempt at a kick. The movement didn't send him flying forward as I feebly hoped, but it did irritate him enough to let go of my ankle and whirl around into a crouch inches from my face.

I scooted back so that if he swung at me again he would miss, giving me enough time to kick him square in the face. I wouldn't try to run. That would be silly. But I would repay his earlier kindness and introduce him to the sweet sensation of a throbbing jaw before he snapped my neck or tore out my spine. In his crouched position he studied me from behind the tinted visor of his mask, seemingly waiting for me to make the first move. I knew the game he was playing and I certainly wasn't the novice he believed I was. I wasn't about to give him a reason to pounce on me, lunge at me, charge at me, or otherwise batter and assault me because I had provoked him; initiating a challenge he was hardwired to meet. So I just sat there…contemplating whether or not I was quick enough to snatch the combistick hooked to the belt at his side.

Aware of the object my eyes tried desperately to conceal the fixation of my mind he tapped his side and stood up, letting me know he understood that I was challenging him with a fight rather than in flight. He unhooked his combistick and threw it down at my feet but I was hesitant to pick it up. I didn't know this Yautja and naturally I didn't trust him. Not only was there a huge difference – or shall I say, discrepancy – between honor among Yautja and honor between Yautja and humans, but there was a unilateral gap between the level of honor an un-Blooded Yautja possessed and a Blooded Yautja had attained through relentless trials. Which is why un-Blooded Yautja were not permitted to hunt humans on Earth. They were simply too volatile and inexperienced to risk allowing them to reveal Yautja existence.

But since this Yautja hadn't immediately killed me I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was one of Gikvaris' students that had been specifically tasked with making life difficult for me in Gikvaris's absence. Or perhaps this Yautja had been permitted to hunt alone as part of a training exercise and he just happened to stumble upon me, now determined to bring his ooman catch back to Gikvaris for his seal of approval before running his blade through my stomach. Only this Yautja didn't know that I already survived such an injury and at this point experiencing it again might be like riding a bike. But the very worst case scenario would be that he was a rogue student I happened to cross paths with during one of Gikvaris's exercises and decided that what Gikvaris didn't know wouldn't hurt him. But it had and would certainly hurt me if that was his angle. But I would never know until I either picked up his combistick or turned tail and ran like hell…as far as a bum ankle could possibly get me.

And I wasn't oblivious to the fact that my ankle was in fact putting me at a great disadvantage. Maybe I would have stood a chance with two fully functionally ankles, but with one not fully functional I wasn't sure how long I would last or if I would even make it as far as positioning my combistick to brace for impact. But I sure as hell wasn't going to die with my back turned while pathetically limping away from him. So I took hold of that combistick and forced myself up on my feet, muting a gasp behind clenched teeth as a sharp pain shot up from my ankle into my calf. I took a few steps back before bringing my foot forward in front of me and my uninjured leg behind me to brace myself. I wouldn't be able to bring my right foot against his hip to dislodge him if necessary as I was sure the pain would be too unbearable if not completely impossible in conjuring enough strength to move him. So I would have to deter him long enough to bring myself into a position to use my other foot. Or pray that there was a blindingly obvious weakness to exploit so that I wouldn't have to further injure my ankle and risk possibly breaking it.

"Pyode amedha: Gkei'moun." His voice was mechanically haunting, but his insult didn't escape my trained ears.

"H'ko." I tightened every muscle in my body to prepare for what would be an onslaught of un-Blooded Yautja fervor. I was certainly 'soft meat', but I was definitely not going to be 'easy' for him. "Ooman: nracha-dte." I spat on the ground.

I was relentless. He had been warned.

His muffled trill met my hearing before he advanced with total abandon. He definitely wasn't the graceful opponent Gikvaris was, but then again he was barely into his prime and I reminded myself that though his intentions were intensified by his need to establish himself among his clan, his instincts hadn't been harnessed and channeled yet. He was just a big ball of energy with no direction and no control. And therein lied his weakness. I only needed to avoid his blade long enough to widen the crack of self-doubt every young, aspiring warrior was cursed with to work him into a furious rage over my alluding his grasp before switching from defense to a calculated, centered offensive he would be blind to. I had to get him into something I imagined was close to the rage of Yautja rutting not even the reasoning of Elders could penetrate in order to blindside him.

He brought his forearm down against my combistick with such force that I dropped down onto my front knee, but where the strength in my ankle failed my knee more than made up for; providing an adequate brace which allowed me to focus my strength to my upper body to keep from being knocked back by him. While I grew more confident that I could tire him out I hadn't anticipated him dealing another dirty blow to gain the upper hand. While he forced his body weight down he lifted his leg and brought his foot against my stomach, kicking me so hard that simultaneously I let go of the combistick, hunched forward, and skidded back several feet before landing on my back.

"Ki'cte!"

The voice was sweetly familiar but I was too engrossed trying to quell my violent, desperate inhalation of air to look in the direction from which it barked out from. I had but two things on my mind: getting air back into my lungs and then figuring out a way to beat the shit out of this Yautja for hitting me with a cheap shot not once, but twice! Gikvaris hadn't been impressed with my sucker-punching Dalani and his antagonizing served as an effective deterrent from ever cold-cocking anyone, human or Yautja, ever again. So why the hell Gikvaris hadn't laid out the law of Yautja land to his students concerning the employ of cheap shots from the outset of training was beyond me.

A shadow fell over me and I lifted my head, straining through involuntary wincing to focus on the figure's face.

"Kch'lo might prefer tiny ooman on back, but not tiny ooman's kv'var n'yaka-de."

Fly to Yaut, scale miles of jungle terrain (a few willingly, the rest unwillingly), and locate pompous kv'var n'yaka-de (hunt master)? Check.

"Gik, what the fuck?" I sat up, leaned forward and massaged my ankle. "Not even gone six months and already you've lost control of your cubs." I scoffed. "Geeze, even the worst ooman parents ever can usually make it at least a year without fucking up too badly."

Gikvaris started to bristle but I was sure his visible agitation had everything to do with my being right and not his usual irritation on account of my quips. He leaned forward and dug his fingers into the fabric of my suit at my shoulders, bunching it into his fists before pulling me up. But he didn't pull me up onto my feet and tell me to walk off my 'ooman pain', but instead slipped one arm behind my back and another beneath my legs, scooping me into his arms before turning on his heels and heading in the same direction the other Yautja had been dragging me in.

I snickered lightly and he shot me a hot glare before letting out a throaty chuff. So instead I smiled to myself, thoroughly pleased that whatever Gikvaris' reason for choosing to carry me to alleviate my pain instead of making me work through it like a mindless drone he was none too happy about it. Which meant that as soon as we got to wherever we were going he was going to take it out on someone or something and since with my ankle I wouldn't be much of a challenge I had a feeling it would be the Yautja that had been the cause of his having to carry me in the first place. So if I couldn't teach that honor-bending Yautja a lesson Gikvaris surely would. Which had me grinning from ear to ear.

"Giving me the cold shoulder?" I looked up at Gikvaris and for the first time noticed that though his eyes were pale gold they were different shades of gold. I had never been so close to Gikvaris to notice before. In fact, being this close I could actually smell him; not the damp smell of soil and moss that covered his armor, but his n'dui'se that bled through the earthy evidence of his time in the jungle – the Yautja musk that varied among them in strength and scent. Gikvaris' was unexpectedly sweet considering how overly sour he was. Or rotten depending on my own Gikvaris-affected mood.

"H'ko." His snappy tone was imbued with annoyance, but I didn't need to hear it because I could _feel_ his aggravation in the stiffness of his body and his hurried, impatient stride.

I decided not to press him further and sagged against him in silence, allowing him some breathing room to work out whatever had put him in such a foul mood. I nonchalantly peered over his shoulder to confirm his pupil was following, which he was at an agreeable distance. His tall, proud stance had diminished into one of cautious awareness. I guess seeing his teacher carry the human he was about the slice in half was a harrowing realization of the scolding that awaited him. Or maybe it was because he hadn't been quick enough before Gikvaris intervened. I couldn't be sure why he looked the way he did because I had never seen a Yautja look like that before.

Eventually we entered into a camp that was formed around a towering monolith inscribed with those Yautja symbols, the characters of which looked like a toddler's attempt at Chinese. He set me down at the base of a tree before snapping at one of his students who disappeared momentarily before reappearing with a medi-kit. Gikvaris dropped down onto one knee in front of me and manhandled my leg to get a better look at my ankle. Whatever previous tender dealings he had in carrying me had passed and he was back to treating me as roughly as a slab of meat in need of a good tenderizing.

After assessing my ankle he shoved at my shoulder so that my back went flat against the tree. He pressed against my stomach and I let out a shrill caterwaul before slapping his hand away from me.

"H'ko." He growled and pressed against my stomach again.

Again I smacked his hand away. _"H'ko,"_ I growled back. Whatever his burly pupil's foot had done to me I was content to allow it to heal on its own.

"Tiny ooman prefer dhi'ki-de?"

I glared at him. "Your unruly cub already put me into a coma." I turned my face and brought my fingers to my throbbing, swollen jaw. Even though I couldn't see myself I was sure my skin was already peppered with blobs of purple and blue that upon close inspection resembled a giant Yautja paw.

Gikvaris' mandibles flared while that pair of glowing gold orbs constricted into an abyssal black. Though I would have liked for him to work himself into full-fledged frenzy of aggression and take it out on the Yautja still standing a healthy distance away from us, it was _me_ he was currently positioned in front of with mandibles splayed, bearing his serrated teeth while still noticeably intent on slapping a Band-Aid on me.

I waved at him dismissively. "Just give it to me." I snatched the medi-kit away from him but he caught my wrist midair. "What is your problem?!"

Ignoring me, Gikvaris sank the tip of his thumb talon into the cuff of my suit and tugged upward, starting a small incision in the thick material. His talon effortlessly glided through the fabric and through the nodes within the leg sleeve and once he had lengthened the incision to my knee he gave it a forceful snap before peeling it open. He curled his fingers around my upper ankle before setting about wrapping it, winding the fabric woven with a dainty crisscross of wire around my thin, limp ankle. I gave up fighting him off and watched him work, not offering any resistance while trying to mute a grunt hitched in my throat as he tightened the fabric before tying it off. He sure was acting mighty strange considering any other time he would have hurled the medi-kit at me and watched in unmasked amusement as I feebly tended to my injuries myself.

"Was mistake." He stood up and glowered down at me.

I scoffed. "Yeah, I know. Why don't you tell _him_ that?"

Gikvaris clicked his tusks and shook his head, which looked more like a shiver than an actual gesture of disagreement. He jerked his head to the side to indicate the Yautja behind us. "H'ko. Not Cz'ha. Mistake in tiny ooman coming here."

My blood had gone from a tolerable simmering on account of what 'Cz'ha' had done to me, but now it was downright boiling. "Yeah?" I flashed him a bit of that old familiar sass that really ruffled his feathers. "Well then ell-osde'pauk!"

I used the tree to aid me in standing. My injured pride empowered me to rectifying any perceived error on my part just on principal.

He gesticulated with his finger to return my ass to its prone position, but I ignored him and took a few uneasy steps.

"I've got a long way back." I wiped the sweat from my forehead and smoothed back my hair. "So get the hell out of my way so I can get started."

"Will make easy." He bent his forearm and tapped on his wrist gauntlet. "Will alert Kch'lo tiny ooman is ready to leave."

 _Dirty bastard._

Incredulous that he even threatened to rat me out but not believing he truly would I hobbled around him, but when I came within a few meters of him his huge hands clamped down around my upper arms and pushed me back toward the tree, indifferent to my writhing and verbal protesting before unceremoniously pushing me down until my ass was finally parked where he thought it belonged. I looked up at him, aghast and indignant, but decided against prompting another show of physical superiority.

"Would have lost head if Cz'ha had hurt you."

I looked at him wildly. "If?" I put my hand on my jaw to remind Gikvaris of what his student had done as if Gikvaris had experienced a lapse in memory. Or maybe he just had selective memory.

"Tiny ooman knows better than any ooman... _that,"_ he swept the back of his hand against my jaw, "was practice." He paused, focusing on returning to the issue at hand before I had sidetracked him. "Tiny ooman brings honor into question by putting Kch'lo's mate at risk."

I shook my head. "No, Gikvaris. The choice was mine and I would never – "

"Would matter little to Kch'lo if tiny ooman killed at hand of un-Blooded under my instruction." He pushed the thick coils that had spilled over his shoulders behind him.

He was right. I couldn't imagine what Kch'lo would do to Gikvaris and _all_ of his un-Blooded students if I had gotten seriously injured or killed. Or what he would do if he found out I had come here at all and that Gikvaris hadn't immediately alerted him. Kch'lo should rightly expect Gikvaris to alert him to anything off about my behavior or activities. I could have at the very least sent Kch'lo a cryptic message even if he wouldn't receive it until a short time after my departure, but even then I wasn't sure what he would do. To me or Gikvaris.

* * *

Having no other choice but to sleep until evening as was customary for Yautjas, I woke up well rested and without the searing stomach cramp I had prior to forcing myself asleep. The camp was lit by a fire that surrounded the monolith; its heat brought life and color to the symbols etched deep into the obsidian stone and they glowed like the embers of the fire lapping at them. I stood up and oddly didn't feel so much pain in my ankle when I leaned on it. Whatever wrap Gikvaris had applied must have contained a numbing agent as I was sure this ankle would take longer than a nap to completely heal itself.

Just as I set about exploring the camp perimeters Gikvaris appeared from the thick brush. He removed his bio-mask and dropped the small animal he was holding by its hind legs. He motioned for me to approach and withdrew a small blade from his belt, hurling it at the ground beside the animal so that the blade dug into the soil, leaving the hilt exposed. I suppose he wanted me to skin and clean it, but I couldn't imagine that it would be a meal for him and it certainly wasn't his style to provide food for me. He wasn't my personal eta to wheel in carts of rjet and naxa or my mate who was technically obligated to keep me fed. But seeing how his former rigid posture had melted into his usual arrogant strut I didn't want to give him a reason to start poking at me again or bring up the subject of my not sharing my visit with Kch'lo again.

I knelt down and started to skin the animal which had the body of a rabbit but a face similar to a boar. Peeling back the pelt and boning the creature was a simple enough task but the meat it yielded would be but a mouthful for me and a nugget for Gikvaris, but when I was finished I left the slab of meat on a stone near the fire and extended my hand to return Gikvaris' blade.

He took it and tucked it away before motioning toward the stone. "Eat."

I was seconds away from exposing my suspicions surrounding his unusual behavior when Cz'ha entered the camp with a group of Yautjas. We looked at each other briefly before he turned his attention on gutting his own fresh kill, but it had been long enough for me to notice that his lower right mandible was limp as if it had been dislodged. Also visible between the gaps of his armor plates at his abdomen, elbow pit, and just above his sternum were freshly clotted cuts glowing fluorescent green. I could have assumed his injuries happened while hunting, but it was the purposeful way in which he avoided eye contact with Gikvaris that confirmed the source of his battered condition.

I sat down and sunk my teeth into the rubbery meat and stomached a few bites before feigning a full stomach and discarding it. Gikvaris sat down on a log beside me and extended his wrist blade and began sharpening it with a d'lex stone. There was much I needed to speak with him about and as I didn't have oodles of time I just got right down to it – although still very mindful that I needed to tread carefully so not to ruffle his feathers again.

"So…you ever gonna ask why I came here to see you?" Not an ideal icebreaker, but I didn't want to ask him how his baby boot camp was going without reminding him of the control he had lost over one of them.

"M-di. Wondering why tiny ooman has dealings with Halkrath sain'jas."

"Halkrath what now?"

"Shadow Warriors."

I had long since learned that 'clan' was a word used for human comprehension, but it was unlikely that Chakuube would introduce himself as being part of the 'Shadow Clan' so much as simply identifying himself as the leader of a group of warriors who tagged themselves as belonging to a specific division within the broad Yautja militia. They weren't some primitive tribe; they were and would always be warriors who just so happened to organize themselves into social groups. And Chakuube wasn't the politician his title as 'leader' connoted, but the general of a lethal regiment. And even though a Yautja under Chakuube's command would identify himself as a Shadow Warrior, which may sound simple if not absolutely corny to a human, Yautja words were not easily translated and there was more to the word 'halkrath' than the simple translation of a shadow. For all I would ever know 'halkrath' didn't mean the blob of shade following one in a parking lot, but perhaps more likely the all-consuming death shade of Cetanu – their god of death. And since our clan – Gikvaris' and mine – was the 'Thwei' clan, or Blood Warriors, it was easy to infer that the Yautja liked to send a specific message as to their ultimate (lethal) objective when they introduced themselves.

And 'm-di'…that was another word for 'no', only it was more of a 'no, not at all, not even a little bit' kind of a no. Which meant that Gikvaris hadn't been concerned at all with why I came to see him, but was consumed with _how_ I had found myself in Chakuube's company in the first place.

"I'll give it to you in layman terms…I was bait for a Bad-blood, wound up killing a female ooman because I thought she was crazy, found out she was crazy because she was protecting her pup, took pup back with me on ship, found out pup belonged to Chakuube's clan, also found out pup was Chakuube's pup…his _only_ living pup, and was then offered a spot in Chakuube's clan to take care of said Firstborn pup." I took a deep breath and nodded. That was the long and short of it. And it was surprisingly less convoluted than I thought it would be.

"And tiny ooman has accepted?"

I smiled to myself. Glad to hear that everything before the 'offered a spot in Chakuube's clan' bit was all so blasé.

"No. Not yet."

Gikvaris glanced at me before returning to his blade sharpening. "Then tiny ooman has already made up mind."

"Wait…What? How did you get that from what I just said? I clearly said 'no, not yet' – "

"Yet. Tiny ooman says 'yet'. You have not accepted, but intend to."

"A lot can happen between Now and Yet, Gikvaris." I leaned my elbows on my knees and propped my chin against my hands. I just wanted to dump the burden of my thoughts, suspicions, and speculations on him as if we were two gals just having a chat, but even though Gikvaris was a wonderful listener on account of him being a Yautja of little words, I wasn't about to insult him by minimizing the challenge of his higher calling by expounding on my own trivial challenge. Because training a platoon of Yautja soldiers in an unforgiving environment was way more demanding than raising just one in a setting where I would have a taste of what it felt like to be treated like royalty. Needless to say that any whining or bitching about my little snafu might offend him.

"And this is reason for visit? To seek my advice?" Gikvaris trilled. God how I had missed that throaty whistle even if it was at my expense.

"Sei-i. It sure is."

"Am _not_ tiny ooman's mate."

The way he emphasized 'not' sounded entirely too abhorrent for my liking. "You're right: you're not. Because that would mean you would have to take that head of yours out of your ass long enough to remember you even had a mate to ya know…feed it."

Gikvaris trilled again and extended his arm, tapping the back of my neck. "H'ko. Tiny ooman would have gkin-mara to remind me."

I shook my head. "Fuck. No. _No one_ is ever putting that thing back inside of my head _ever again._ You'd have to kill me first….and fat lot of good it would do you then."

Gikvaris clicked his tusks rapidly in silent laughter. "May win against Vik'var'is' serums, but will not win against t'gou u'linja."

"Ah…Just as I suspected…Would rather use your netgun than get your hands dirty, huh?" I flashed him a wry smile but it was the type of innocent sarcasm where he just failed to see the not-so-obvious humor lurking in its depths.

I waved my hand dismissively. Huge ass needles or netgun, no Yautja was ever going to put one of those sensors in my head ever again. But as much as I had missed our usual banter I had come to Yaut for his neutral opinion and I wasn't leaving without it.

"Kch'lo consented to Chakuube's proposal. Thinks it would be better for me to remain with his clan than to return to ours." I sighed, but no amount of weary exhaling would ever relieve the pressure I was under. "I don't understand why I suddenly want something I never wanted before now that I can't have it. What's wrong with me? Is it really _me_ or does the urge to attain the unattainable plague every species?" I rolled my eyes at myself. "I don't know what the hell I'm saying. How could you possibly feel that way? The Yautja never struggle with wanting. They just take."

 _Take, take, and take some more._

"Then be like Yautja." His delivery was a plain and curt attempt to remind me that I had foolishly missed something so obvious and that I could have saved myself the jungle expedition by remembering that apparently the Yautja did it better.

"Easy for you to say. You've got the strength to back up thinking like that."

"Then be ooman." He looked at me with narrowed eyes I perceived to be filled with disappointment. "And when tiny ooman is finished rearing another's pup she can return to her trophy room and look upon her many accomplishments."

I scoffed. Surely he understood that whether I reared Kal'ar's pup or Chakuube's the walls of my trophy room would never be filled. I wasn't chosen by the Yautja to be a warrior; I was chosen to contribute to their baby factory. Only after that door was closed did it become possible for me to take up a new trade. But like having an epiphany I wondered if that's what Gikvaris meant all along…After coming to terms with my changed purpose and finding joy in it, why then would I desire a watered down version of the former I had lost? If I couldn't be a mother but I could be a warrior, then choosing to be a 'stepmother' was choosing the ghost of my past instead of the glory of my future. It would be like chopping off Gikvaris' leg and then asking him to continue training. His new role would be a haunting reminder of what he had lost and a constant battle to convince himself that he was just as sharp with one leg as he was with both. I didn't have a womb, but I did have two legs. And choosing to devote myself to The Hunt would benefit me and those around me. Raising Chakuube's pup might pacify me for a time that it was in fact a worthy endeavor, but it would undoubtedly only benefit Chakuube in the end.

"You're missing an important detail."

My sudden interruption seemed to startle him.

"How am I ever going to line the walls of my trophy room when only my mate is permitted to kill the prey he hunts? When you're tasked with killing Bad-bloods I don't imagine it would be very thrilling to go hunting rjet or kurn."

Gikvaris tilted his head. "Who requires mate to hunt alongside?"

Laughter erupted from me and drew a myriad of perplexed stares from the Yautjas across the encampment.

"You have obviously lost touch with Kch'lo's charming personality."

"H'ko." Gikvaris stood up and retrieved his bio-mask. "Who requires mate to hunt alongside _tiny ooman?"_

Understanding him, I nodded. I guess there was a way of eking out my own existence, I had just never asked to do it. During Gikvaris' ceremony I desperately wanted to go with him because I was still his student, but I never mentioned it to Kch'lo. And seeing how he was perfectly fine leaving me in the care of a Yautja he trusted was capable of looking after me it wouldn't be a giant leap of faith to believe he would trust Gikvaris enough to take me under his wing and finish what he had started so long ago. Kch'lo wasn't forcing me to take care of Chakuube's pup and he also wasn't forcing me to return to our clanship. In fact, he hadn't presented me with any alternatives at all.

"Gik, you think you can get me back to the city?"

"Not Halkrath clanship?"

I shook my head. No, there was somewhere else I needed to go before returning to Chakuube and giving him my decision.

"Sei-i. We leave now." He motioned for me to get up on my feet before tapping on his wrist gauntlet. He was summoning his ship, but even in spite of my current condition I was somewhat disappointed we were taking the easy way back. I was rather hoping Gikvaris would carry me the entire way, giving me added time with him in case my conversation with Kch'lo went south.

"Hey." Gikvaris broke concentration and looked over at me. "Did you do that?" I nodded across the camp toward Cz'ha. Even from a distance I could still see the pathetic sag of his mandible in the flickering light of the fire.

"Sei-i."

"You're really attached to your head, huh?" I was sure Kch'lo would never remove it from his neck, but I did recognize the danger in the metaphor.

He shrugged his shoulder. "Not for head. For kv'var mei-jadhi"

My eyes widened and a half-hoping, half-disbelieving grin stretched across my face. Was he really calling me his hunt sister?

"Gikvaris!" I was teeming with pure elation, but I had to be certain my ears had heard him correctly even if it pained him to actually have to admit it again.

"Ex-see-ah…" He let out a weary, defeated sigh.

I knew I could be exhausting, but this was monumental! And… _and_ he had called me by my name – an attempt to, anyway. My real name. Not the one he liked to tease me with. And so the heartless bastard had a heart after all.


	22. Chapter 22 - Negotiate

_**Ally: Well then you will love this chapter because its allllllllll Gikvaris.**_

 _ **Sunstreaker's Squishy: Did my PM explain? But thank you for pointing out. Sometimes my mind goes off the rails.**_

 _ **Mrrrp: Thank you, thank you! Love hearing it! Do let me know if this chap meets your expectations.**_

 _ **xXWhoWantsToKnowXx: No average days in store for her :-)**_

 _ **Villemoo: Ty for complimenting the story, but I must know…was the smut (so far) what you hoped it would be lol? Yes, I love my Kch'lo and WISH that as I write him he would just appear in my living room. But I also love my Gikvaris, who is plastered everywhere in this chapter.**_

 _ **write more: already working on it!**_

 _ **Vivida: You are REALLY gonna love this chapter then. Had to make up for lost time because honestly…I missed him too!**_

 _ **Tenfangirl: I love him too, which is why I put the spotlight on him in this chapter….and you'll be pleased to know the next chapter too! Its gonna take some time for our girl to learn what realllly makes a good mate.**_

 _ **FutureEnchantments: How did you fare in the snow? It wasn't the apocalypse they predicted, but it sure did make driving on the highway the next day behind big ass tractor trailers a pain in the ass with their meteor sized ice balls flying off of their cabs. And Im glad you are a fan of Gikvaris's…because he's in this chap and the next!**_

 _ **KATT9033: I hear ya! With a job, a house full of kids and animals, time slips away! Did you get my PM?**_

 _ **sousie: thank you! Whose your fav character so far?**_

 _ **Haylz93: Ty! As much as I want that for her to, I cant…because most of the 'upper class' Yautja (at least in my story) don't want 'half breed' pups, and only do it out of necessity. So back when Kal'ar found out he could make a trade for a female Yautja basically any plan of having pups with Exia went out the window long before she couldn't actually have one…she would just be his side piece, basically. And though Kch'lo doesn't actually say it, he does say it often and is often said about him that he 'has his pups' – meaning no more, not even for Exia. Womp womp. But I'll give her something worth that loss!**_

 _ **TenJP: I am glad you love him because he'll be around in the chapters to follow. Hope you like this chapter…I mean, I hope when you are reading you can visualize the sort of shit they give each other while forging an unbreakable bond. As the reader, is that apparent or do I have some working-on-that I need to do?**_

 **A/N: Life and snow kept me from the alternate universe of my laptop screen and from expediently updating this story... _but_ I hope this chapter was worth the wait. For my Kch'lo fans, this will be a disappointing chapter since he is no where in it. For my Gikvaris fans, I hope I have made amends for keeping him away so long. **

**Two important issues I want/need to address: 1) It has come to my attention that the line break feature FanFic offers doesn't always show up within the chapter. I can see it, but I have been told by a few that they cannot. I've tried inserting the line break, adding asterisks (which FanFic always erases after saving), so I am going to try breaking the sections by the line break AND by bolding the first sentence of each new chapter break. I think that's the only way I can make it happen. 2) If there is anything that doesn't make sense, or a detail that I didn't explain thoroughly enough, please please PM me so that I can fix it for you. My mind has a path it wants to take and sometimes I can miss spelling out those small details that lubricate the wheels of my story. Please let me know ... its a huge check for me in being mindful to tend to those smaller details in the next chapter. **

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, and following! And as always, I do not make a penny off of anything I write and I do not own or have rights to the AVP universe. I only own my characters and all the stupid shit they do. And BTW, it was a rainy weekend for me and it just so happened that Predator was on. Do I even need to tell you how refreshing it was to see my loves on screen?**

* * *

" **What do you suppose those Ancients want with Kch'lo?"** I sat in the corner of the command center as Gikvaris tinkered with the ship's fussy communicator.

Gikvaris slammed his fist against the mode control panel and its maze of buttons and switches in the height of a frustrated frenzy. After a low, drawn out whine the communicator switched on and Gikvaris nodded his head in proud satisfaction as if he had somehow doubted his own brute strength would cause the machine to make _some_ kind of noise. A panel to his left came to life, glowing a soft translucent white. As Gikvaris moved his fingers across the ghostly touchscreen display a series of symbols appeared on it but disappeared as soon as his fingers disconnected from the screen. He paused and waited as if something grand and miraculous was about to occur, but the screen remained a still blur of white, inciting another one of Gikvaris's mini meltdowns. Boys and their toys.

"What are you trying to do?" I hopped up and stood next to his egg-shaped, chrome slicked chair with curved arms, careful to remain an arm's length away from another possible temper tantrum.

Gikvaris' mandibles twitched and the flickering prism of white light glistened against his ivory tusks. "Communicate." His tone was terse, but because his intense eyes were boring at some unseen object at the center of the screen I knew it wasn't on account of my asking.

"With Kch'lo?"

Gikvaris chuffed and rapped his talon against the arm of his chair. "Patrol." He lurched forward and gave the screen a good smack, causing the light to flicker rapidly.

"Won't they know you by your ship?" I looked around the tiny room and its antiquated technology, how primitive it looked compared to Kch'lo's or even the Yautja that chauffeured me to Yaut's jungle. I knew that the ship's lack of bells and whistles was not intentional neglect because Gikvaris was very meticulous with the care of his possessions, such as the perfect alignment of his weapons in his armory. I also knew that the plain, bare bones appearance of his ship wasn't on account of a low status, such as un-Blooded Yautjas who lacked any assets to trade up with. Gikvaris had a plethora of energy weapons, not the sort of collection a broke ass Yautja could afford.

"Alert patrol of ooman presence onboard." As he sank back against his chair he fell into deep thought.

"What? You're telling me that if you don't give them a heads up that I'm on your ship they're going to get their panties in a bunch?"

Gikvaris rumbled but it was curtailed by whatever serious contemplation was going on inside of his head. I was also glad that his inward mulling had distracted him from clarifying the word 'panties'. I imagined there wasn't much Gikvaris could do, say, or ask anymore that would make me blush, but having to explain in depth a human female's preference for wrapping their goodies a tiny piece of cloth instead of wearing said thin fabric like a loincloth would definitely fills my face with color. Because not only did Gikvaris require a thorough explanation but damn near always demanded a visual explanation. And I had serious doubts that he would understand the expression of 'free balling it' and why a female would choose _not_ to do so in public, especially when our goodies were like homing beacons to a _public_ of Yautja males.

"Kch'lo is with Ancients. Tiny ooman think Elders dislike of oomans is strong?" He trilled as if envisioning the disturbing measure of prejudice I would face when we landed.

I could have been angry that he kept from sharing the extent of those details, but I was already feeling an intense amount of trepidation as we neared the city and didn't want to add to it. A pink glow filtered through the anti-reflective coating of the window from the thick, refracting beams of ionized energy that domes positioned throughout the city pulled down from an ash sky. The moving, pulsating tendrils of pink colored light reached down toward the electrode domes that acted as the conduit for harvesting and bending the columns of energy beams into tapered rays of lethal plasma energy the Yautja wore on their shoulders, mounted on their ships, and imbued their vast assortment of handheld weapons with.

I was at the epicenter of where death was captured and bottled for Yautja pleasure. The very place munitions 'worthy prey' were helpless to defend against or escape the precision of its mark were manufactured and distributed to Yautjas that would learn accuracy through intense practice before scoring their unsuspecting prey with skin-melting, bone dismantling energy. And here I was inserting myself into their production site, the same unsuspecting victim they bore in mind when constructing and angling their weapons of sophisticated annihilation.

"Be like Yautja."

My thoughts scurried into the recesses of my mind with the sudden infiltration of his voice. I pivoted my head and noticed that at some point during my dismal musings his fixation had veered from the inanimate object planted in front of him to the one firmly planted beside him.

"Elders' opinion never deterred tiny ooman before." He clicked his tusks. "No need to fear Ancients now."

I straightened my slack posture and shook my head. "I don't." It was a falsehood I had difficulty delivering with any sort of persuading assurance.

"H'ko?" Gikvaris let out a throaty trill. "Body speaks different language than one that comes out of tiny ooman's mouth."

Realizing that I was not immune to Gikvaris' keen sense of smell I wrapped my arms around my body as if to muzzle the scent emitting in the peak of my worry and with forced subtlety took a few steps away from him.

"Going to cover dekna as well?"

My expression soured at the delivery of his dark witticism. "How can you tell if it's fear of Ancients in my _eyes_ or abject horror on account of your novice aeronaut skills?" I used my elbow to gesture toward the communications screen.

Gikvaris pulled down on the control column and squeezed the throttle, sending a stretched drone of protest as reverse thrust put strain on the cylinders of the ship's inertial flux engine. Once the ship had fully deaccelerated Gikvaris clamped his hands down on the arms of his chair and hoisted himself up. "Can tiny ooman do better?"

I let out a haughty snort and plopped down into his chair, the metal seat warm from the extreme amount of heat Gikvaris' let off. "If I can conquer putting together an IKEA dresser, the instruction manual of which was _made_ to break the human spirit, I can certainly get your prehistoric television to work."

And in the zenith of my proud declaration I actually believed that with the persuasion of tender fingers rather than the assault of Gikvaris' heavy hand I could get this temperamental, fiber optic display in working order.

For the better part of the night I tinkered with the screen, quarantined to a small, specific area of buttons so as not to meddle with other buttons, levers, and switches that would activate the warpdrive or worse…initiate the kinetic lance. Because I didn't think I would ever be able to explain how firing upon the city was an 'accident'. Or more likely how Gikvaris would explain it. Though I would have given my left leg to seem him try.

Gikvaris briefly stepped into the cockpit every hour to check on my progress, emitting a throaty trill as with each passing hour I got no further than when I began. Though the problem was vehemently eluding me it didn't sway my determination if only to prove to Gikvaris that humans weren't as helpless as their 'tiny' statures implied. And he couldn't sway my determination either, even when he leaned his massive form against the doorway with strips of cured rjet, the scent of which stimulated a stomach I had all but forgotten about up until now.

As pale gray light filtered into the control room I finally gave up on proving Gikvaris wrong, though I was worlds happier that he wasn't standing in the doorway to witness my defeat. Oh, he'd know it alright, but at least I didn't have to watch as an alien version of a grin contorted his face. As I walked out of the room I paused and backpedaled, stopping to look at the narrow, twisted strips of rjet Gikvaris had left out for me in spite of his earlier tormenting. I guess he knew at some point I would give up and that the very least he could do to console my failure was not force me to go to bed on an empty stomach. Yeah, he definitely had a heart underneath that venomous exterior.

Snacking on those delicious vittles I traipsed toward and into one of his crew quarters, content to continue my snacking as I plopped down on the metal pallet doused in layers of thick pelts. With my head at the foot of the bed I raised my legs and planted my feet against the wall, staring up at the tiled plates of metal that mirrored a distorted reflection of my body despite being matte. After I licked my fingers clean (a phobia I had long since gotten over since leaving Earth, because really, what were germs compared to alien samurais?) I lifted my head and pushed the mass of hair bunched underneath my neck down over the edge of the bed, sifting and combing through it to work out the kinks that daily graced me with their presence without fail.

In the lull of an otherwise overworked psyche I realized just how content I was in this small space Gikvaris afforded me, aware of just how unafraid I felt at this very moment. There was no one around to pour out their demands or scathing reproach, filling an already defective vessel with the pressure of more confusion and angst. The thought of bringing my concerns to Kch'lo suddenly felt so insipid; concerns now so vapid and void of any wisdom I could not attain on my own while gazing up at my own reflection in a quiet solace that had evaded me for so long up until this very moment. It was here on this uncushioned support of metal that I had a taste of the peace Ayida had spoken of in my first days as a Yautja captive. It was the only taste I needed to be sure of the course I needed to plot and set to autopilot; the direction I wanted my life to go in and the purpose I wanted to carve out of it while on my journey.

As much as I wanted to cradle that little pup in my arms I knew it was a temporary pacification of what had been violently taken from me and when he was grown I would still feel as bitter about that night in the corridor as when I first woke up in the clinic with V at my side. V: that bundle of unpolished data that contained fragments of wisdom I had been too blinded by my own anger to understand. He had told me in no plainer terms that basically my circumstance, no matter how unfair, was what it was. I heard them again through Gikvaris who told me that my purpose hadn't been lost, only changed. Again, it 'was what it was'. And now in what seemed like a lifetime later I was hearing those very same words from within the unhampered repose of my mind. Or the muted reflection above me that reminded me that I was still a powerful decider in my fate. That even if my freedom had been assigned to someone else I still had an influential voice that had only been muffled in the cacophony of an alien universe, but it hadn't been snuffed out.

* * *

 **"Are you able to use your wrist gauntlet to contact Chakuube's clanship?"**

Gikvaris' unblemished hide prickled at the mere mention of the Halkrath leader's name, which piqued my curiosity. There wasn't much that seemed to bother him other than a relentless human slowly chipping away at his sanity.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes, using their intensity to demand an explanation to his physically taut reaction.

"Is nothing." He waved off my accusatory demeanor and returned his attention to the floor alcove that housed the spectroanalyzer units. I assumed his studious observations and frustrated tampering while kneeling over the opening in the hangar bay had everything to do with his suspicions of why the ships communicator was malfunctioning.

I had half a mind to plant my foot against his upturned ass and give him a nice shove forward, but he didn't seem like he was in the mood to return my playful prank with one so lighthearted. _He_ might have half a mind to beat me over the head with the telescopic tool his fingers were currently curled around.

"Well, for it being 'nothing' you certainly copped an attitude in record time."

"Ex-see-ah!" His jarring admonition turned the small confines of the hangar bay into an echo chamber.

"Okay, okay." I put up both of my hands even though he hadn't turned his head to see my surrender and took a few steps back. I knew how testy males could get when in the midst of a total machinery mindfuck.

I sat down in a schoolyard position and watched him grab ahold of something within the floor before applying all of his strength against it. Ripples in the sinew of his forearm quivered on account of the sheer force he was exerting against the object hidden from my range of vision until a shrill screech of grinding metal filled the hangar bay. A faint bout of nausea passed through me as I envisioned him plunging those menacing talons of his into the supple flesh of a human before tugging out an intact spine with a modicum of the fluency he exercised now on an object fashioned from a material ten times stronger than steel. He was brutal and violent with beings and objects that frustrated him, but managed to restrain that tendency around me. God only knew why.

With a labored exhale Gikvaris pushed himself off of the floor and closed the heavy gauge, steel bi-fold doors and sealed them by sliding a pin through its double latch. He scooped up the telescopc tool he had abandoned for his own powerful mitts and tossed it across the room, disappointed that it had proven ineffective but surely inwardly pleased that his hands were more than capable. For the briefest of moments I believed he was going to emerge from his rotten mood, but his icy eyes pried at mine while a heavy frown erupted across his features.

"What now?" I hadn't done a thing since backing off yet he was giving me this look like I had sabotaged his ship and he had just discovered it.

"Communicator should work now."

 _Oh. Is that it?_

I nodded and offered him a proud smile, though I was doubtful if now downright positive he didn't ever need my approval before rejoicing in his brutal problem-solving skills. It was a blessing that Vik'var'is had been given the role of the clan's healer and not Gikvaris. Heaven help the patient whose dislocated shoulder didn't pop back into place upon the first try.

"Yeah? Well great…lead the way." Congenially as possible I stepped aside and let him pass without prying further into his implicit dislike of Chakuube, though I wasn't sure if the root of his annoyance was Chakuube, his clan, or both.

Before Gikvaris even touched the communications screen it was obvious that his manhandling the equipment in the hangar bay had been partially successful. Red symbols populated on the screen under his touch with less flickering or fading, but I had a feeling he forgot – or intentionally disregarded – my mentioning reaching out to Chakuube.

"Gik…I don't know how long it's going to take me to get an audience with Kch'lo…I mean…it's not like he's expecting me. And so I really need…" My voice wavered as I struggled to find words less convoluted. He had, after all, taken an unplanned jungle sabbatical on my account and the very least I could do was be expedient – even if only in conversation - so that he could get back to his unruly un-Blooded cubs. I also couldn't even begin to explain why I was sidestepping Kch'lo. I don't think Gikvaris would believe me that Kch'lo had in fact assured me that the choice was mine to make.

Though it was faint and resembled the low thrum of the engine I heard the distinct rumble of Yautja irritation before watching a heavy frown erupt across his features, an expression that meritoriously captured his vitriol of my indecisiveness.

"Is there any way for me to send a transmission directly to Chakuube? You know…without going through public channels…."

"H'ko!" Gikvaris' abrupt bark startled me and I touched the skin of my arms to make sure I hadn't jumped out of it. "It is enough that you ask me to betray my kv'var n'yaka-de!" He slammed his fist against the smooth edge of the control panel that miraculously didn't crumble under his weight.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I gestured at the communicator. "Then just tell him already, will ya? And when you're done you think you can patch me into a secure channel?" I rolled my eyes as he just stood there with an expression of utter chagrin. I wasn't asking Gikvaris to betray Kch'lo. I just wanted to finalize my decision in case Kch'lo tried to talk me out of it! "You're acting like a total bitch right now."

His eyes became two burning orbs of restrained fury, prying at every inch of me while tugging his green features taut.

I tried to recall when it was I last had to contend with this expression in the distant vestiges of my mind when I suddenly remembered our quarrel over where exactly my ass belonged.

 _Not again._

Two huge hands clamped down around my arms and shoved me backwards. My feet slid across the polymer floor until I was outside of the command room. I was expecting him to ensure my ass met the ground, but instead I heard a tiny beep before the door shot out of its alcove and put a metal wall between me and one seriously pissed-off Yautja. Which was probably a good thing…for him. Because if he wanted to act like a bitch I was going to slap him like one.

Stewing on the way he exerted complete domination over my comparatively inferior physique I paced back and forth, my thoughts only pulled away when I felt a vibration under my feet before the ship suddenly buoyed. Realizing that the ship was now in motion I charged at the door and pounded my fists against the unyielding metal door. It didn't take long for me to give up on knocking it down and so I raced into the hangar bay and peered out of the portholes. He wasn't bringing me to the city but ascending into the atmosphere.

Being in the rear of the ship I couldn't see exactly where we were headed, but it didn't take long for me to figure out that he was steering the ship toward Chakuube's clanship as it collided against the wave of a tractor beam, of which I was sure after the familiar, sudden jolt of making connection with a force field that manipulated an otherwise unrestrained gravitational force before the ship coasted without another shudder. The jerking, stomach-turning maneuvering of manual piloting came with the territory and even autopilot had its quirks due to unforeseen hiccups from the engines, but the engines no longer needed to bend under the strain of increased speed or sputter and groan with deacceleration when it had a tractor beam to tow the ship along.

My waning view of Yaut was finally obscured when we docked inside of the clanship. I left the hangar bay and met Gikvaris just as he exited the control room. He brushed by me despite my obvious we're-about-to-duke-it-out stance and disappeared down the corridor before returning shortly after with his bio-mask fitted to his face. He was either preparing to go hunting or for combat, but neither option was appropriate considering we were on a clanship, not a preserve.

He moved toward the crew lock and all I could think to do to stop him from opening the hatch was scream his name like he had the red dot of a sniper rifle scope on him. He whirled around and his slick, ring-adorned tendrils fanned around him before coming to rest against the plates of his gunmetal gray armor.

"Uhh…Gikvaris…." I pointed at his mask. "I don't think you need that up here."

He tapped his visor and then bowed his forearm so that I could see his wrist gauntlet. "Sat-com."

It was strange hearing his multi-tonal voice which normally revealed a myriad of emotions within it change to the plain, bionic voice that now seeped out of his mask. But that wasn't as off-putting as hearing him inform me that the reason behind wearing his mask was to use his Sat-com, which basically meant that he didn't trust the Halkrath clan enough not to use it to display and record the schematics of the clanship; familiarizing himself with every level of the structure while using it as a positioning unit for himself. God only knows what he suspected to feel the need to use it.

"Why are we here?" I hadn't forgotten how even _wanting_ to communicate with Chakuube had set him off and now here we both were parked in Chakuube's loading bay.

"Cannot approach city without informing patrol."

"But I thought you fixed the communicator?"

His scowl, though not as deep as usual, confirmed just the opposite.

"Best if tiny ooman arranges transport through Chakuube."

How very disappointing his admission was. I didn't want to be parted with him so soon. This might be the last time I ever saw him again. Or allow him to irritate me so. Though in quiet reflection the charisma of his argumentative conduct never failed to bring a smile to my lips. He had nothing to be so miserable about as he was at the top of the food chain, so to speak. I didn't see any humans bossing _him_ around. He was so unnecessarily ornery it was really quite laughable.

He closed the distance between us and latched onto my arm, snapping me from my cascade of unconscious reverie. He turned it so that my wrist was facing up before peeling back the sleeve of my suit, shimmying it back so that the midsection of my inner forearm was exposed.

"Will hurt."

"What will hurt?" I tumbled into those inhuman eyes, gently tugging against his grip although he had zero intention of allowing me to pull away from him.

"Brace."

"Gikvaris, I don't think – "

His free hand shot forward and slapped against my arm but the pain that erupted wasn't due to his heavy hand or an accidental graze of his talons. He let go and I skirted back, hitching my arm against my chest while looking down at the circular disc jutting out of my skin. I wiped away thick, hot tears that had immediately welled up in my eyes before dropping down onto my knees and observing the strange device attached to me, unsure of its purpose. I knew Gikvaris was still angry with me for putting him in a bad spot with Kch'lo, but I didn't believe he would do anything to _seriously_ injure me. Fuck with me? Piss in my Cheerios here and there? That was his way of keeping me on my feet, but I didn't believe he had the propensity to do anything that would keep me off of my feet _permanently_.

Gikvaris leaned over me, hooked his hands underneath my armpits, and pulled me up onto my feet. I was still overwhelmed by the burning sensation that increased every time I even so much as flinched, but before I knew it I no longer tried to wrench away from him but went completely calm as if in a trance.

Fucker was holding me hostage with one of those comatose-inducing purrs.

"Will remove when done." He gently pulled down my sleeve and I winced as the fabric dragged across the device and tugged my skin with it.

"Done doing what?" But there wasn't a smidge of accusation in my tone. His purr kept me suspended in a total state of tranquility, its thrumming so powerful that even though our bodies were not pressed against each other's I could feel the vibration of it against my ribs.

"Is tracking tag." He paused, surely remembering my oath never to allow anyone, Yautja or human, to implant a tracking device in me ever again and when he spoke next his tone had the sort of mildness I was sure was difficult for him to invoke. "Is temporary."

"What the hell do you need to track me for?"

"Not track tiny ooman."

I resigned myself to his vague explanation and turned away from, as hard as that was considering I had become enslaved to that damn Yautja-purr. He remained behind me as we scaled the exit ramp and inched so close that I could feel his heat against the nape of my neck when Duhahnde approached flanked by two Yautja.

Duhahnde and Gikvaris engaged each other and their chatter rose in what was obviously a disagreement. I had no idea the protocol involved in the presence of an unfamiliar Yautja, but they had obviously allowed him to board their clanship and approached him without weapons aimed at the vulnerable flesh of his midsection void of armor plating. But just because Duhahnde's greeting wasn't hostile didn't mean I trusted him enough to play nice and so I stepped forward and placed my hand against Gikvaris' chest to send a clear message that the two of us...we were bonded.

"He's with me." I was rather hoping Duhahnde would misconstrue my firm stare as defiance because I was sure he was too pompous to ignore a human so blatantly insolent. I would like to see his lower mandible dangle the way Gikvaris had fixed Cz'ha's. And I knew Gikvaris wouldn't feel the sting of retaliation as I was a person of interest for Duhahnde's boss…at least for the time being.

Gikvaris looked at me from behind his tinted visor and turned his chin up, nodding toward Duhahnde. He was letting me know that it was okay for me to follow him, that he would handle the two Yautja bodyguards, and that he'd be just fine without my protection. Laughable, really. If anyone needed protection in this room it certainly wasn't him. And actually it wasn't me, either, seeing how even if I wasn't at his side he would be able to locate me within a millisecond and come to my aid to annihilate any perceived threat. That put a little pep in my step as I obliged Duhahnde's unspoken desire to escort me out of the loading bay and undoubtedly straight to Chakuube.

Just before we exited the bay I turned to take one last look at Gikvaris who was already who the hell knows where. Sly as a cat, that ill-tempered Yautja was. Duhahnde lead me down a network of hallways before we entered an inner chamber that housed the clanships holographic map table, surely a place Chakuube and his Elders stood around in discussion before charting their next voyage to a planet they would unleash their hoard of bloodthirsty hunters upon like a scourge. Or something equally morbid, I'm sure. To them it was a way of life but to us, a species who bore the brunt of their barbaric customs, getting a private tour of their three-dimensional war table was like getting front-row seats to watch the Yersinia pestis fester before actually unleashing itself onto humanity as the bubonic plague. Because the bubonic plague was as surreptitious and lethal to humans as Yautja. Only the plague didn't collect skulls and spines as trophies.

As soon as Chakuube was aware of my entrance he dismissed several Yautjas in his company as well as Duhahnde and greeted me with a warm "gkaun-yte" – the equivalent of a 'hello' – and a firm hand on my shoulder followed with an equally firm shake. It was strange to be greeted so affably, but I suppose I had been just as cordial to the woman who found and returned my fugitive cat. I got my cat, Chakuube got his pup.

"Chakuube…" The words at the tip of my tongue were stifled by my own sympathies concerning the countless occasions I had been overly excited only to be shot down in the height of my zeal with the delivery of disappointing news; the sort of news he now seemed suddenly aware of, whether it was by the scent of it or perhaps in the weakness of my human expression which gave me away at every turn.

Despite the offense he could have taken on account of my unspoken rejection of what I imagine was an offer that had not been presented to me lightly, he remained as collected and astute as when I had first encountered him in the clinic common room. I chose to believe that Chakuube truly meant only to honor me and that my acceptance or rejection of allowing him to do just that would have no consequences, positive or adverse. What a breath of fresh air considering that every Yautja I had thus far encountered held me accountable to every word that left my mouth and every expression that fanned out across my expression, never remiss to dole out a wealth of consequences….the adverse kind.

"Chu'kaah will never forget the kindness of your honor." Chakuube straightened his shoulders and clasped his hands behind his back. _"I_ will never forget."

I smiled and bowed my head in respect. I liked his pup's name, but the name I coined for him was infinitely tougher because it had a piece of mine in it. And Kch'lo's. I had to give him _some_ credit.

"I do hope ooman Exia believes I will repay her kindness whenever she has need." His eyes prompted me to speak and allow him to fulfill his word.

I looked up and nodded. "Have need," I admitted. I wasn't shy about cashing in my dividends. I would never have an opportunity like this shoved at me again.

"Name it."

Before I revealed the need I sought to capitalize on through his generosity I needed answers only Chakuube could give me. Or would give me. Answers to questions I had presented to Gikvaris to find (without surprise) he wasn't going to be as forthcoming as I had hoped, liked, or needed.

"I must ask you a question first."

He nodded, his mandibles slowly curling in and out in; not the clicking expression of regard but a reaction to inwardly preparing for being asked a question that mighty bring him a measure of unease. I couldn't blame him. Humans were simply unpredictable with their questions formed from over-analyzing brains.

"Why would Kch'lo meet with Ancients?"

Chakuube turned his back to me and faced the domed window overlooking the chasm of deep space that unfurled itself around us. "My understanding is that it was Ancients who summoned Kch'lo. Has been chosen to join their ranks and remain on Yaut."

"But…but V –" I paused. "My je'mar said that Ancients are over a thousand years old. Kch'lo isn't that old…is he?" I didn't know how old Kch'lo was, sadly. I just knew that he was old-er in that his physical features resembled those of the Elders, their appearance the only I could compare his to since I had never met an Ancient.

Chakuube trilled lightly and motioned for me to approach. When I was standing beside him he continued. "A Yautja does not simply become an Ancient. He must first become apprentice...At the end of which Kch'lo will be as old as is required." He shifted and craned his neck to look at me. "Is honorable for mate to consider your feelings."

Chakuube had mentioned before how 'considerate' Kch'lo was but it still caused my head to jerk back as I recoiled from the bitter mouthful of offense, betrayal, and heartache that assaulted my taste buds at once. How could Kch'lo even consider making his home somewhere humans were so obviously unwelcome? A planet V had described at length as being an incubator for kainde amedha - where humans were kept to breed and provide hosts for future chivas.

"Has made arrangements for you to live comfortably in his absence."

I nodded in understanding – and _not_ agreement - but it made little sense why Kch'lo would drag me along on a journey he knew I could never complete. I wouldn't live a quarter of the time it would take for him to complete his apprenticeship. I would have fared better remaining with our own clan than living out the rest of my life in a hotbed of human bigotry.

"Thank you." I swallowed to lubricate the cutting pain of the lump in my throat and smoothed back my hair to at least give myself the outward appearance of composure. Never mind what was going on inside right now. _That_ would be dealt with later…out of Chakuube's presence.

"First, I ask that you transmit a message to Kch'lo for me that I am returning to our clanship." His eyes remained fixed and undaunted by the _first_ of my requests so I continued. "Second, I ask that you permit me to remain with your clan until my third request has been fulfilled."

Chakuube let out a throaty trill, surely amused that so far Request Number One of Request Number Two would not be a hardship for him.

"The Yautja who brought me here, Gikvaris…His communicator is beyond repair. In fact, after his brutal self-mechanics I'm pretty sure that the better portion of his wiring interconnection system is beyond repair…."

 _But don't tell him that._

I was pretty sure I could ask for anything I wanted at this point. A normal person might have asked for a trip to Earth to get some desperately needed 'reserves' – at least that's what I would reason mascara, hair dye, and a good bra was – or to bring back my cat if she was still alive or adopt a dog real quick if she wasn't. But I suppose I was far from normal or maybe it was because my heart continued to beat for everyone else but myself, to my own detriment I imagine. Because there wasn't anything I wanted more than what I was about to ask of him.

"And so I want his ship repaired. His scout ship, that is. He has a transport ship for all the Yautja babies he's currently training, but he _loves_ that hunk of junk scout ship of his. And I suppose I owe him since most of the beatings his ship took was on account of my getting under that testy skin of his."

Chakuube's dark eyes drank in my request with intrigue. In fact, he visually seemed to be soaking up every exponential word of self-reflection that spilled out of my mouth.

"This is all that ooman Exia requires?" He cocked his head to the side.

His question had me thinking that I had aimed too low. Perhaps I could have asked for a clanship instead, but seeing how Gikvaris really wasn't a people person the idea of bargaining for a clanship or a Yautja army to fill it for him was impractical. So instead I let out a heavy sigh of confirmation. "Sei-i."

Chakuube nodded. "Then it is settled." He placed his hand on the small of my back and turned me away from the window. "I do hope that while this Yautja companion of yours has his ship repaired you will give me the pleasure of visiting with Chu'kaa?"

"Visiting?" I laughed lightly. "I was planning on keeping him all to myself in my quarters…When he gets a little fussy maybe take him into the kehrite and teach him a few moves to blow off some steam." Boy did that pup have steam.

"Admirable," he said with a high trill. "And acceptable."

* * *

 **I found Gikvaris back on his ship** , tinkering with a monstrosity of cables that he had unearthed from behind a paneled wall. I crept toward him without making a sound, but no matter how stealthy I was I would never outsmart his keen sense of smell and hearing. He paused and turned his head to acknowledge me before returning to the heap of wire in front of him.

"Have fun stealing the ship's blueprint?" I dropped down on my knee beside him and starting helping him untangle the color-coded mess. This all would be moot very soon.

"Sei-i." He went still for a moment. "Why back so soon?"

"Not all Yautjas are so bullheaded that it takes an entire day for them to comprehend what I'm saying." I nudged him with my elbow. "And besides…I thought you might be hungry."

"Plenty of rjet onboard." His reply was dry, but I could sense an undertone of irritation.

I nudged him again, only this time with enough force he teetered on his right knee. "I think I know what your problem is." A wry grin spread across my face. "Either you need to blow off some steam in the kehrite with a Yautja that has the stamina to go toe-to-toe with you or…." There just was no easy what of putting it.

Gikvaris huffed, wanting me to be out with it already.

"Or you need to get laid, Gik. Seriously."

He shot up and I stood in unison with him, drinking in the movement of his dark eyes as his pupils shrank to the size of pinheads before dilating when he abruptly clamped down on my arm and twisted the top of his tracking tag as if swiveling the knob of a combination lock. A sharp pain shot out before the tag released its curved barbs and retracted into the underside of the tag. Finished and satisfied that he had thoroughly erased any trace of amusement in my expression he practically flung my own arm at me and marched away toward his crates of tools.

"Yeah," I spat darkly to myself. "I think it's the latter."

"H'ko. Need tiny ooman off ship." With a plethora of tools in his hands he began walking back toward the mess of cables and their exposed, frayed wires.

 _Curse that damn Yautja hearing._

"Are you _that_ excited to get back to babysitting?"

His hide began to prickle before his mandibles slowly started to splay. "Ex-see-ah…."

"Well what is it? Because lately you've been so moody and so cranky that I'm starting to think all this pent up aggression is a bad case of Yautja PMS – "

He crouched down and thrust his shoulder against my stomach, planting his hands against my knees as he lifted my legs, using the momentum of his pushing and my arching to hoist me up over his shoulder. Ignoring my flailing legs and my fists rapping against his back he carried me off of the ship and set me down at the bottom of the ramp in the loading bay, quite indifferent to several Yautjas that stole curious glances our way on account of the commotion we were causing. Or that I was causing because Gikvaris was calm and quiet as he went about his task of dumping me onto the ground.

"Cannot focus with tiny ooman in ear."

 _Like I am some kind of a bug! The nerve._

"Ya know…In no time at all you'll be back in the jungle with your students and I'll be on my way back to our clanship. You could – "

"Thwei?"

I let out a deep, agitated grunt of a sigh. Never mind that I was extending an olive branch; he was more concerned with the data rather than the information.

"You're hopeless." I rolled my eyes. "And yes, our clan." I turned on my heels and left the loading bay, content in filling my rumbling stomach even if Gikvaris would not join me in doing the same. Which was pretty foolish on his part because the Halkrath clan had a plethora of meat and not all of it was rjet.

I wandered into one of the mess halls and fixed myself a plate of leftovers from the trays and carts that had been picked over by those who understood better than others that the early bird always gets the worm. Others unlike myself who was habitually late to everything and thus picked from a sparsely garnished plate while moseying aimlessly down a stretch of conjoined halls. I had no idea what to do with myself which was as bothersome as it was gratifying. Had I ever really had a free moment since being dropped in those woods? A free moment not spoiled by vexations that surely burned tracks into my malleable psyche?

As much as I wanted to veg out on the couch and binge watch some of my favorite HBO series I resigned myself to watching the drama and violence of reality TV unfold in the kehrite instead. My entrance went ignored more likely than unnoticed and I sat at the far end of the kehrite, continuing my snacking while getting a few pointers from some serious-looking Yautjas. No jovial banter or friendly taunting here; just straight, unabashed rivalry on a mat flanked by each competitor's heckling comrades. It was strange watching a blend of un-Blooded and Blooded Yautja square off with no pensive, critical trainer looming nearby; silently keeping a tally of his student's careless techniques in which to rebuff him with later. They were free to scuffle and brawl without needing to heed a disciplinary growl on account of bad form which made watching their free form difficult to watch because I missed watching Gikvaris center himself in the midst of combat, actual or training; the heavy-lidded squint of fixation and the manner in which his statuesque body seemed totally devoid of breath as he observed every detail of movement. He was the constant referee in an inconsistent environment of violent appetites and lethal prides and I knew that no matter how many growls of correction he issued in my direction he was teaching me more than combat; he was teaching me survival.

Gikvaris had snatched me out of the fray and remained my constant even when regret in doing so was surely nipping at his heels. He trained me as best as he could considering I was human and he was Yautja. Our strengths would never compare and I didn't fault Gikvaris' training after falling His'tgar's victim. He had empowered me enough to believe I had a fighting chance in this alien universe of chaos and madness. What Gikvaris had done for me I wanted to do for others; others like Ayida who was facing the end of her purpose and needed another one to prevent slipping into that hopeless despair of losing what she thought defined her. She had spent years tilling and tending her garden of motherhood and now I wanted her to have something for herself as she entered Yautja 'retirement'. Especially if Shunlau was going to require her to live the life of a Lone Wolf beside him. She needed to know how to skin a thing or two.

And honestly I couldn't wait to get back to our clanship so that I could get to whooping Dalani's ass promptly. In fact, I don't even think I would wait to unpack my crate of belongings because taking my revenge had waited long enough. If I waited any longer Suharek might actually grow on her and allow him to impregnate her…which would set me back another nine months. Not happening.

The pandemonium of the kehrite began to spoil my good mood and so I left and headed back to my quarters. The clanship lights had long since dimmed and its slumber-inducing effect worked its way out in a yawn. When I turned the corner of my corridor I thought I was already in a sleep-like trance when I saw Gikvaris leaning against my door. I rubbed my eyes and strained them to eliminate the shadowy figment several meters from me, but again his form – the familiarity of which would forever be etched into my brain - was still taking up the space between the door frame.

I sauntered over toward him and stared squarely up at him. "You are sadly mistaken if you think I saved you anything to eat." I tapped on the touch panel and the door slid smoothly into its alcove, bathing me in a welcomed gust of cool air. Not the heat of molten lava because before Kch'lo left I harassed him until he agreed to seal the heat registers, reminding him that I was not coldblooded and did not appreciate waking up to the bottom layer of pelts adhered to my sticky, sweaty flesh.

He stepped aside and I slipped by him, caring little whether he followed me into the room or not. He knew he was welcome to stay or leave; we were both 'adults' that had little need for guidance or direction. Or so I believed at least when it came to myself. I had no idea if Gikvaris thought the same of me or if he thought I needed his guidance, his direction, and a major ass kicking. And because the ultimate goal I was determined to reach in the very near future was to fall into the folds of my bed I marched into the washroom and began filling the tub. There was no way in hell I was climbing into my bed being anything less than squeaky clean.

While the basin filled I stood in the doorway and met Gikvaris' gaze, void of its usual granular emotions. My lips jutted in an impatient pout and I crossed my arms over my chest; the body language of a female who was silently demanding he 'get on with it' Gikvaris could easily interpret as it mirrored his own physical reactions to my indecisiveness. I was just too tired for words and so I would follow Gikvaris' advice and 'be like Yautja' who were a species of little words…and even less words when thoroughly pissed off.

"Access to scout ship restricted."

My eyebrow perked up in healthy speculation. Mandibles relaxed and hide unblemished by the prickle of upset I knew that Chakuube was behind Gikvaris' quarantine and that Chakuube was quicker to prove his word than I could have imagined. I doubted Gikvaris would let anyone deny him access to his ship if it wasn't for good reason.

"Means access to crew quarters restricted."

Disjointed laughter escaped through my weariness. "Sei-i…though I don't see your point."

"Intend to sleep here?" His eyes scanned the room before he let out a grunt of disgust as if I should have recognized the abomination of my rooming decision.

"Uh…where else was I going to sleep?"

"Scout ship." He paused, his eyes retracting in the throes of an inward argument before returning as two wide, black hoops. "Tiny ooman vulnerable alone."

Any other time I would have leapt at the opportunity to tease him for being so considerate, but I didn't have the strength to even feign mild sarcasm. "No one came to murder me in my sleep after Kch'lo left." But as long as I waited for that to sink in it was obvious he wouldn't be cured of his mistrust for the Halkrath clan.

I shrugged. "Fine. Make yourself at home." I turned but just before closing the door I looked at him again. "But if you even think about touching the heat register _I_ will murder _you_ in _your_ sleep." I slammed the door shut and wasted no time stripping off the suit that hugged my body like the suffocating coil of a boa constrictor.

As tempting as it was to close my eyes and fall asleep while the warmth of the water massaged my muscles with its fluid fingers I mustered the will to step out of the basin. I stared at the bare floor for a long while before realizing my mistake.

 _Fuck._

Too annoyed to bother grabbing a pelt before slipping into the tub I was left with only one choice and ironically it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. In fact, it might all be worth it if it caused Gikvaris even an ounce of discomfort; that blush of modesty I would never actually see erupt across his face in vivid color but might get the chance to see it through a wince or a shudder. I was definitely going to get him back for pushing me around all of the time, even if it was an indirect 'fuck you'. I didn't have the parts to 'goat' him so this would just have to do.

With no need to work up any courage I flung the door open and marched across the room over to the bed. I snatched up one of the smaller pelts and turned my head to the side, using it to soak up the excess water as I wrung out my hair. When finished I dropped the pelt on the floor and ran my fingers through my hair to untangle the ends, catching Gikvaris' fierce gaze wandering slowly down my length, then just a slowly back up; the disconcertion in his eyes the only visual confirmation I needed to prove that I had successfully spooked a seemingly unshakable Yautja. Gloating in my triumph I took another pelt from the bed and wrapped it around my torso, tucking it in at my sternum to keep it snug.

"What's the matter?" I flashed a teasing smile while plopping down on the bed. "Thought us oomans looked like you under all these clothes?"

Thankfully my bed and the couch he was presently sitting on was far enough apart I would be ready for him if he decided to act on whatever tempestuous desire to snap me in half poked at the surface of his eyes.

"Tiny ooman has chosen to return to clanship?"

I hadn't been expecting him to gloss over my absurd antics and get back to the same line of questioning that had sent me looking for dinner alone, but he seemed determined to have his answers. How convenient to be so large and lethal that only a fool would ignore his questions.

"Sei-i." I laid down and rested my head against my curled arm.

"Why does Halkrath leader repair scout ship?"

I sighed. "Consider it a going away present, Gik."

"What did tiny ooman promise Halkrath leader in return?"

His accusatorily-ejected words pricked my temper. "I _could_ assume you just called me a whore…but I don't think you even know what that is."

Maybe if he knew that getting laid more often would release him in more ways than one he _would_ know.

I rolled over onto my right side to face the wall, not able to hold onto the sting of his unintentional insult. "I wanted to fix your communicator because I wanted to be sure that I would always have a way of reaching you if I need you…Or you know…send you a message every once in a while to let you know there's still a 'tiny ooman' waiting across the galaxy for you to finish what you started with her in the kehrite." It was wishful thinking on my part. We'd never get back to those days now that he had Yautjas to send to their chivas.

But he said no more and losing myself in the lull of silence between us I finally submitted to the exhaustion tugging at my eyelids.


	23. Chapter 23 - Affliction

_**FutureEnchantments : Exia is going 'home' – subject of my next chap. Ive got big plans for her. Glad you escaped the blizzard! There is still snow in the parking lot at work!**_

 _ **Tenfangirl : Me. Too. Isnt it indicative of life/love in general?**_

 _ **Vivida : thank you my dear! Hope next chap pleases…though its sort of not too too interesting as it takes place in a ship, its necessary to sow some more seeds.**_

 _ **sousie : they are my two favs.**_

 _ **KTCameleon : I promise, she wont be TOO alone. I think 'wiping the dust with the B' (haha!) is gonna keep her busy when she gets back.**_

 _ **Tenjp : thank you, seriously. crap gets even deeper this chapter, but for a reason. Because well…females are females and female shit happens…kch'lo is gonna take a back seat for a while with those old ancients, but he's a man with a plan.**_

 _ **write more: here it is!**_

 **A/N: We're spanning a few weeks in this chapter, but that's because I don't want to write chapters of being on a ship, so we're going at a faster pace here. Also, I'm skipping my usual in depth explanations (as to behavior) in this chapter because Gikvaris isn't a talker, but it will come later. And because she's going back to the clanship she has V to do all that for her (yes, missing him so much I'll need to assign him more jobs). For now, it is what it is. Also, if you've forgotten, our girl is in fact a _girl,_ so I apologize in advance to any of my male readers toward the end. Female shit happens, regardless if they are stuck in space. And I didn't throw it in there just because...it has a purpose. &&&, yes I am aware of the typical days things occur in a female's cycle. Exia isn't typical anymore, so don't get lost in the math of things. Enjoy and it would make my day/week/month/year/life to get some feedback. Let me know how I'm doing, any questions you have/want addressed, etc. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of AVP universe and do not earn a penny in writing any of this.**

* * *

 **Home: a place where your heart is, they say**. A place to hang up your worries like an old, ratty coat when you walk through the door and cast your cares into the corner like muddy shoes. Only my home wasn't a place I ever imagined my heart wanting to take up residence; posting polymer numbers on the front door to let the outside world know exactly where to find me, but the longer I was away from our clanship the more I realized it was my 'home'. And it was finally time to go _home_.

Seven days had passed since confronting Chakuube that what I desired wasn't within the enclosure of his ship, but within another housing a human who had by now given birth to Shunlau's pup. Her last pup. I cradled and nuzzled Chu'kaa every second I got, stealing him away from his new surrogate who actually enjoyed the challenge his tenuous temper presented. Shayla was shuffled back into the throes of the breeding season since it became obvious she would rather suffer sleep deprivation from _her own_ pup than for one belonging to another. I knew Chu'kaa was in good hands now which made parting with him less poignant.

My message to Kch'lo had been successfully transmitted, but each new evening no reply awaited me. It was explained that whatever discussions took place between Ancients – and would-be Ancients – were done so in complete isolation, far from the hearing of others and even further from interruptions. Chakuube assured me that he would remain within close proximity of Yaut so that when Kch'lo emerged from his technological quarantine he would have the answers to any of his questions from Chakuube. I wasn't overly concerned that Kch'lo would be angry with my leaving before he returned as he had no way of knowing if I would accept or reject Chakuube's offering. He had told me that the choice was mine to make and that if I rejected I could return to our clanship, with a warning that only heartache awaited me there. And since he hadn't added that he would personally return me I just as well assumed it didn't matter how the hell I got there.

Gikvaris' ship was now fully repaired and upgraded and so it was time to come to terms with our parting. Though I would never happily bid him farewell I had made my peace with his higher calling, realizing that he was helpless from helping his Yautja brothers achieve honor while gaining more honor for himself in doing so. The quest for honor was ingrained into every fiber of his massive being and so I could not fault him for doing what he had been born to do. It was enough that he had put off training of his own kind to tend to mine.

I would never have a way of knowing what went on behind the curtain of those golden eyes of his, but I suspect he felt the weight of our parting as heavily as I felt it. I knew he was grateful for bargaining away any chance I had in returning to Earth and filling my coffer with human goodies by the way he carried himself. No longer the staunch, arrogant stride of a Yautja who thought his shit didn't stink, but the lax gait of one who had been humbled. Can you imagine a Yauja being humbled by none other than a 'tiny ooman'? And not by mental acuity or sheer physical strength, but by a simple, selfless act? I don't suspect he could have ever imagined it either but here he was, his easily-riled temper abated in light of it.

Though unusual it was a welcomed change in pace to have him so near to me without subconsciously studying his hide for even the faintest prickle. And actually having him join me in the kehrite to watch a couple of rounds of Blooded Halkrath show off in front of their un-Blooded underlings? Priceless. What my amateur mind considered great skill Gikvaris was quick to correct, showing me the faults in their unguarded positions and the weakness that followed an advance – how when one brought down his weapon upon his opponent he neglected to remain mindful of how he left his lower body exposed. And as if I needed any convincing almost immediately after pointing this out the Yautja struggling underneath the weight of his opponent suddenly swiped his opponent's legs from underneath of him and gained the upper hand.

But now with a hefty decision behind me and Gikvaris' trip back to Yaut's jungle ahead of him, Chakuube arranged for Duhahnde to bring me back 'home' since Arbitrator business was taking him in that direction anyway. I wasn't so sweet on the idea of being cooped up with Duhahnde but I considered his lack of whining or murmured threats a truce. Hell, he even toted my crate onto the ship for me. If that isn't a truce, I don't know what is.

Now ready to leave the Halkrath clanship Gikvaris and I entered the loading bay. He looked at me and nodded and damn if I couldn't keep a lid on the tidal wave of emotions that erupted now faced with the bitter truth that our parting was final. I threw myself against him and wrapped my arms around his torso, indifferent to the curious trills of onlookers that had surely never witnessed an 'ooman' _clinging for dear life_ to a Yautja. I was also indifferent to the fact that I was alone during the outpouring of my affection, my arms wrapped around a Yautja that did not return my embrace, but after what seemed like an eternity a soft hand crept through my hair and planted itself behind my head. Gikvaris held me against his steadily rising chest, at last giving in even if it served only to console my breaking heart. At least he gave a damn enough to endure the jeering stares of Yautja that would never have the fortune of having a human give a shit if they ever saw them again. They would never know how loyal a human could be unless they took a break from ripping out their spines to test the theory.

I broke away from him and wiped my eyes, a gust of embarrassed laughter escaping afterwards. I nodded and brought my fist to my chest. It was better I didn't attempt to speak. Putting our farewell into words might bring on another pitiful collapse into his arms and I had enough respect for him not to keep him from returning to Yaut any longer.

I turned around and focused my vision on Duhahnde's lowered ramp. I was going to make it; my feet were going to keep moving forward and my legs were not going to buckle, damnit! But as I struggled to maintain a concrete will over the movement of my lower body I felt two hands clamp down over my hips and bring me to a complete stop. I turned around and Gikvaris let go, letting out a high trill as my startled eyes met his.

"Tiny ooman headed to wrong ship."

"What?" I looked back at Duhahnde's ship, certain that it was his.

"Ship bringing tiny ooman back to clanship over there." He nodded and pointed to his left and I followed his clawed finger across the loading bay.

I rolled my eyes. Gikvaris put his duties on hold to bring me back to the clanship? Not in a million years. "Couldn't bear to keep from rubbing it in my face, huh?" I punched his shoulder, again forgetting how doing so hurt me more than it hurt him.

"H'ko. Will not permit tiny ooman to start war between Halkrath and Thwei."

"What in the hell are you – "

"Tiny ooman will drive Arbitrator Duhahnde h'ulij-bpe." He followed with a nod of confirmation.

I smiled. Gikvaris might have believed that accusing me of driving Duhahnde 'crazy' and having to bear Duhahnde's burden was necessary to avoid a war was a subliminal way of thanking me for his fully repaired and upgraded ship, but it wasn't. And he knew I would know _that_ which made his galling statement that much more meaningful.

"What about your kiddies?"

Gikvaris clicked his tusks. "Are waiting for tiny ooman to get ass on ship."

"You mean…" But I couldn't think straight enough to form a cohesive question. The possibilities of his taking me back to our clanship _with_ his students were endless, but I didn't want to put my cart in front of that horse just yet.

He nudged me forward. "Ass on ship. _Now_." His 'now' had such a bite to it that I promptly started walking forward, silently teeming with satisfaction that he was back to bossing me around. Now and for the foreseeable future.

Stepping onto Gikvaris' scout ship I let out a gasp before whirling around to face Gikvaris. He tensed as if my outburst was indicative of impending danger, but slackened when he saw my lips curl into a smile.

"What a shiny tin can you have now." I looked around and then down at his right hand, the one he preferred to use whenever he wanted to crush metal. "Think you can manage to keep it that way?"

"Sei-i. Will show how." He walked past me and out of sheer curiosity I followed hot at his heels.

He led me to the crew quarters and pointed inside. "How."

I shook my head. "I don't get it." What the hell a dark room had to do with controlling his temper was lost on me.

Trilling, he pointed a lowered finger. "Ass." He lifted his hand and pointed into the dimly lit room. "Stay."

I laughed. _He_ was h'ulij-bpe if he thought he was going to lock me in there the entire trip. "Gik, I'm starting to think I made a mistake."

He cocked his head to the side, perhaps thinking I meant my mistake was in leaving Chakuube's clan.

"That night I forgot to grab a towel…You got a glimpse of my ass and you've never been right since. You can't get it out of your mind, can you?" I nudged his side. "Got you thinking about snagging a tiny ooman for yourself, huh?"

 _"_ _M-di,"_ he growled.

"What's that? Did you say 'indeed'?"

 _"_ _H'ko."_

With his fists bawled I was certain he was going to take a swipe at the wall, but after a brief pause whatever frustration had washed over him subsided and he turned and headed down the corridor. I liked this new leaf he had turned, but I knew it wouldn't last forever. Not while being stuck with me, anyway.

* * *

 **After the scout ship was attached to the transport ship we boarded and Gikvaris lead me to what I believed would be my _own_ crew quarters. ** I was wrong. Not surprising.

"Gik…Unless you've made some backdoor deal with Kch'lo I don't think it would be appropriate for us to share a bed." He did have a pimp-ass room, don't get me wrong, but I didn't trust that if I was forced to sleep _right beside him_ that Gikvaris could resist the temptation of smothering me in my sleep while propped up on one elbow glaring at me.

"N'got. Will put tiny ooman with Cz'ha."

I pursed my lips and shook my head.

 _Nope. I'm good._

I crossed the room and sat down on the edge of his bed, pushing down on the layer of pelts that cushioned the metal frame well enough that my back wouldn't feel it in the morning. "This could work."

Gikvaris trilled. "For me." He crossed the room and dropped my crate in the corner. "For you."

Well, I guess the floor was better than being bunkmates with Cz'ha. Because there would be zero temptation to smother me in my sleep. I don't think I would even make it to lying my head down before he pounced on me.

I acquainted myself with Gikvaris' quarters and was basically told I wasn't permitted to touch anything other than my corner of the room and the washroom. And the washroom only when he wasn't present. Guess he didn't want any more visual confirmations that Yautja females were a thing of the past and humans…scrawny, bony, thick or plump asses and all…were the future.

I followed Gikvaris around like a lost puppy until finally his obsession with inspecting every button, lever, switch, and screen lost its appeal and I broke away from him to go exploring on my own. I had only ever seen Kch'lo's transport ship and since Gikvaris was predominantly more private than Kch'lo it would be oodles of fun poking and prying into his big new world, Gikvaris having to leave the familiar confines of his beloved scout ship for the sterile spaciousness of the transport ship, leaving behind a trail of my scent just so he would know that I had been there among his _things_.

First up during my exploration was the center support column that acted as the trophy wall. Gikvaris' kills were neatly arranged as perfectly as the weapons in his armory and each skull had a mark on its lower left jawline, a mark I had seen him place on one of his kurn kills. When I asked him about it, thinking I should do the same to mine, he told me it was basically a habit of his; a marker of sorts so that if another Yautja stole his trophy and tried to claim it as his own he would be able to back up his accusation of same. So those trophies that had a vertical mark with one beside it at an angle, the Yautja alphabetical equivalent of a 'g', belonged to none other than my extremely territorial Yautja mis'thwei. Which was comical because I didn't see the big deal if someone snatched a puny kurn skull from among his collection of kainde amedha queen skulls.

Aside from the vertical strip of the column displaying Gikvaris' trophies the rest of the column was empty. I suppose his students hadn't dug their heels into the dirt yet and bagged themselves a few kurn or rjet and so I had a leg up on them. And I'd be sure to flaunt it if they tried to fuck with me. In fact, I sort of regretted leaving behind my kurn skull because it would be the perfect way of touting my skill without a word. I couldn't hang His'tgar's skull because that was a trophy I hadn't earned in their eyes. To me, His'tgar's head belonged to me on account of what he did to me, but since I hadn't lopped it off myself it would be blasphemous for me to display it as if I had.

Moving past the column I heard the din of that staccato Yautja language and the clicking of tucks that ensued. I followed it into one of the mess halls and couldn't believe my eyes. They were eating. I was not.

I assumed that Gikvaris was intentionally keeping me separate from his unpredictable adoptees, but when it came to food all rationality went out the door. Aware of their intense stares and heavy breathing – a thing they did shortly before yielding to a rumble – I gave them an upturn of my shoulder and continued weaving through the narrow isle between the benches, smiling to myself in how they refused to scooch in to make room for me. These Un-blooded had a lot to learn in what tactics made humans tremble in fear. Ignoring them was not one of them. They should have been thanking Paya that I wasn't born a Yautja because if I had their heads would be rolling right about now.

I filled a plate and turned to check my seating options. With thirty-two Yautja crammed into one mess hall there weren't too many available seats. Those that were available not even a stark-raving idiot would be dumb enough to plop down in one. I was cocky but not ready to get my teeth bashed in. I doubt Vik'var'is had any dental experience in his repertoire. So I slid over a tray of leafy greens and hopped up on the counter, content with being the odd ball out. And I was, really.

Once they realized that their hot glares wouldn't intimidate me into tucking tail and running they went back to their idle chattering, forgetting all about my repugnant presence. I mean, that's how I imagine they felt about me. They were warriors in training and I was the kind of fresh meat they were working their way toward hunting. Must have been downright insulting for them to have to dine with prey. Only they were fooling themselves with that sort of limited thinking. If they played nice maybe I would give them a few pointers in scoring with the ooman ladies back home. Give them a better reason to hunt on Earth and that reason was worlds warmer and snugger than polished bone.

I studied my new companions as Gikvaris had instructed me to study prey. Or anything I had an interest in or a distrust for. They were all unique in their appearance and behavior; each of their coloring the usual green and tan, speckled, mottled, and striped. Only one of them was a dark blue, his coloring so deep that his hide almost appeared black if it weren't for the glow of the overhead lights. Their thick dreads were almost bare save for a few sparsely placed rank rinks, an indication that they had not yet achieved Blooded status but were above the status of an eta, etas not being permitted to wear any rank rings. I wondered if when Gikvaris strolled into the room they coveted his shiny rings and the morbid trinkets hooked to his belt. Said trinkets being teeth and bones and even a human head. Though I suspect Gikvaris had removed that human head after catching some serious best friend feelings for me. Or, I wondered, if they were determined to become greater than him. If the latter were true I didn't blame them for being so ambitious. But become greater than Gikvaris? They had some serious work cut out for them if so.

After all but three of them filtered out of the mess hall I found myself in the presence of the one Yautja Gikvaris could have been more careful to keep away from me – for Cz'ha's sake, of course. We eyed each other intensely before Cz'ha splayed his mandibles and let out a throaty chuff. Bastard was mockingly challenging me, but I could be just as crude as he was about to find out.

I lowered my head and squinted, indicating to him that I was inspecting him. He stiffened, obviously cautious of this tiny thing across the room looking at him like he had two heads. I brought my finger against the side of my mouth and used it to mimic the movement of a lower mandible.

"Cz'ha…"

His head jerked at hearing me speak his name.

"You ought to get to the medbay. Mandible pauked up, huh?"

He stared at me blankly, obviously failing to navigate the language that poured out of my mouth.

A Yautja to his left nudged him and started clicking, miming how I had used my finger while translating my words for him. This I knew because immediately Cz'ha swiped his plate off the table and shot up out of his chair, flaring his mandibles and bellowing such a blood curdling roar I think I could actually feel the gust of his breath rustle through my hair. His Yautja buddies clicked rapidly, snickering amongst themselves as Cz'ha's chest swelled and ebbed with building aggression.

I let out a snicker and hopped down off of the cabinet. "Gikvaris let you off easy. Throw even so much as a chirr my way and I'll break one of them clean off." Aside from a _human_ issuing a threat there was that taboo issue of permanent injury (or, in this case, missing appendages) that had Yautja up in arms at the mere mention of it. Because the only class of Yautja with handicaps was the eta. Scars they were worn proudly. Missing a leg or an eye? That was grounds for dismissal.

And as much as I knew I didn't stand a fighting chance against him I wanted – _needed –_ him to know that I wasn't going to let him or any other Yautja fuck with me. Except for Gikvaris, but that was only because he had earned the right to. Even if Cz'ha flew across the room and squashed my head underneath that big, clawed foot of his at least I wouldn't die a chump.

Cz'ha's amused translator finished enlightening Cz'ha to my threat before looking at me. "Cz'ha h'ko ki'sei ooman." He trilled lightly and stood up. "But respects ooman for not being weak."

I puffed out my chest and nodded. "N'got. But in case he forgets…tell him there's a kehrite to remind him."

After a deep trill and rapid clicking he translated for Cz'ha, but I didn't stick around to hear Cz'ha's response. Cz'ha's earlier disrespect – the one where he smugly opened his mandibles and hissed in laughter at me – still had me fuming partly because I had a weakness for feeling invincible and he had just knocked me down a few pegs and partly because I knew I would face this sort of mockery for the rest of my life. So I went to the medbay and rummaged through crates and containers of instruments, strange ass vials of fluid, and medi-kits before finally finding a roll of Yautja gauze. It wasn't white and spongy like the kind I was used to but it was pliable enough to fill my purpose for it. I snatched up one of the many sharp instruments and began slicing through the gauze, cutting it into strips. I took my heap of fabric and placed it on one of the metal counters before peeling off my covering and flinging it across the room. Didn't need _that_ anymore.

I took the first strip and placed it behind my back, hiking it up before wrapping it around my breasts several times. I tucked the loose end under one of the folds and then tied it off in a knot. Taking another strip I did the same to my pelvis, binding several pieces together so that it effectively covered my goods and my upper thighs. Wearing gauze in a bikini style was a bit unconventional, but it was worlds better than sweating to death under a heavy pelt covering.

Now having fixed my clothing quandary I wandered around until I found the kehrite and headed straight for the armory – the one that sadly didn't include energy weapons. Or net guns that I could aim at Cz'ha…the kind of net guns that retracted, cutting through skin and bone. I grabbed a combistick and a spherical drone I had seen Gikvaris practice with while spying on him late in the night. Once on the mat I activated the drone, unsure how it would react to me as I had never used one before, but elated when it floated out of my hand and remained suspended in front of me.

I moved my hand slowly and it followed in a horizontal pass. I moved more rapidly and it mirrored my pace. It then began to beep rapidly before appearing to malfunction, only I realized soon after it wasn't malfunctioning but had gone from familiarizing itself with its user's movement to training mode. I smiled, thoroughly pleased that I wouldn't spend my night in the kehrite fighting an imaginary opponent. I extended my telescopic combistick and got right down to the business of blowing off some serious steam. If I wanted to keep from picking fights with every Yautja that looked at me crossly I would have to be less ornery. Which basically meant I had to overwork every muscle in my body so that they weren't so quick to tense into beast mode.

The droid was a great opportunity for me to work on not only my technique but my flexibility which went ignored on account of generally facing an opponent much larger than me. All focus went to striking and bracing rather than nimbly flipping and rolling around on the mat as if fighting a more agile opponent. Because Yautjas were not what I would call agile. They just barreled right into their opponent without the need to smoothly glide in and catch their opponent off guard. So I stretched some muscles that had been on an extended siesta to the point where I knew when I woke up the next evening I was in for a world of hurt.

After about an hour of an intense physical workout I called it quits, powered off the droid, and put it along with the combistick back into its metal encasement. I walked back to Gikvaris' quarters, my movement labored while trying to soothe irritated lungs. My feet slapped against the cold metal plates, their iciness soothing my overheated body. I opened the door and was relieved to find that there was no sign of Gikvaris which meant I had free reign of the washroom. While the basin filled I peeled off the layers of gauze and chucked them into the water. They needed a good washing if I wanted to wear them again without smelling like roadkill.

As I rummaged through Gikvaris' cabinets I realized more and more just how serious his pimp status was. He had a myriad of vials containing that oil I begged V to snag for me and so without anyone around to warn me against doing so I took one of the sweeter smelling vials and sprinkled a couple drops into the water. A wicked bout of mischief tore through me and I emptied the vial's contents into the water. I hid the empty vial behind the others and snickered to myself when picturing the look on Gikvaris' face when he discovered how his coveted apothecary had been violated.

Sinking into the water I slathered the oil-infused water all over myself, paying close attention to my hair which soaked up the oil like the crags of a clay valley soaked up the rain. I scrubbed every nook and cranny like I was prepping for surgery, kneading at the sore muscles in my hamstrings but aware that it would do little to abate the constant pain they would cause me in a few hours. I could have stayed in the water for hours if I didn't suspect Gikvaris would return to his room shortly, but I stayed even as the lights continued to dim until I was sure I was cutting it too close. I don't think he would permit another one of my bare ass naked strolls across the room.

I hoisted myself up and grabbed one of the many pelts neatly folded on a metal rack. For being an overly rough, wisecrack Yautja he was extremely tidy. After drying myself off I fished out the strips of gauze and hung them on the rack to dry. Just as I had made it over to my corner confines the door let out a chirp before the air pressure of the hydraulics preceded Gikvaris' entrance. He eyed me suspiciously as he crossed the room and removed what little armor he was wearing and that hooker-style net suit of his. He stole a few more suspicious glances my way while I combed my fingers through my hair, not trusting my calm persona or the fact that he hadn't caught me in the middle of fiddling with his stuff.

He headed into the washroom without another word and shut the door behind him. I heard a mild snarl which I was sure had something to do with what looked like soggy toilet paper hanging from his towel rack. After the sound of running water stopped and I heard the splashes of him lowering himself into the basin I crept over to his bed and took two of his pelts. He didn't need that many, I reasoned, while laying one on the floor and wrapping myself in another. And after a few minutes I realized that I wasn't sweating to death and that when I lowered the pelt from my shoulders I actually felt chilly.

That hardass had closed the heat registers. I was doubtful that he did it for me and much more prone to believing that maybe after spending a week in Chakuube's guest quarters with me he grew to like the feeling of wrapping himself in pelts without suffocating from its heat. Like bundling up in the middle of winter with a fan inches away from the bed. Because deep space was _cold._ Thrilled that I could actually get a good night's rest without abruptly waking up and clawing at my thick covers I laid down and buried my face into my fur cocoon. I scantly remember hearing Gikvaris come out of the washroom and that was a good thing. It meant that even though this was his room and he could be as loud as he wanted and make as many messes as he wanted, he was being a good roomie.

* * *

 **My blackened, dream-swept mind gradually faded toward wakefulness** and I unfurled myself from my pelt and staggered into the washroom. The lights clapped on upon my entrance and I covered my eyes from its blinding light with my arm until they adjusted. When I looked at the rack where my gauze bikini should have been hanging in its place was the covering I had cast off like a filthy rag in the medbay. And it wasn't placed there on accident – no, its cords were neatly tied around the top pole and the creases of its thick fur smoothed out. I yanked it down and dragged it behind me as I left the washroom, almost resigned to the idea of pulling the burden of its heavy hide over my head until I remembered that I wasn't without resources. Gikvaris may have taken my gauze but he certainly hadn't taken away the tools that had aided me in crafting my laboratory bikini.

Indifferent to any startled or horrified glares I would encounter along the way I slung the covering over my shoulder and left the room, marching down the corridor straight to the medbay. I pressed my hand against the panel and snickered. I was two steps ahead of my sneaky roommate.

I pressed the panel again and when nothing happened it dawned on me that Gikvaris had changed the access code to the medbay. I was perturbed at first because I should have expected as much since he not only discarded my new outfit but returned the old one I had left behind in the medbay. But then I was determined to make a stand against my censoring mei'hswei.

I went back to the room and headed straight for Gikvaris' armor stand. He may have restricted my access to his medical wares, but he had forgotten that there was an even better tool at my disposal and it was neatly packaged for me in his wrist blade. I fussed with it while keeping it far away from myself until the double blade extended. I sat down on the floor and got to work, having to use two hands to hold and move the blade while keeping the pelt steady against the floor with both of my feet. When I was finished cutting I had two thick strips, long enough to tie in a knot behind my back and wrap once around my pelvis and make a 'V' along my inner thighs before tying it off at the small of my back. It took a while for me to get it just right – looped straight enough to keep from having it sag at the apex of my legs and snug enough to keep it from snaking down around my thighs.

Satisfied, I retracted the wrist blade and returned it to its rightful place. My fuel tank on empty I headed to the mess hall, delighted that I had the room and all of its leftovers to myself, even if there wasn't much left over for me to pick from. I made a mental note to snag some of that cured rjet Gikvaris always had on hand, but for right now the white slop that must have been their impression of grits was as good as it was going to get. I slapped a spoonful onto my plate and grabbed a handful of those leafy greens, suspicious of their browning edges but too hungry at this point to put it back regardless if it was wilting.

I sat down on the bench and struggled to bring the white gelatin substance to my mouth. As I pinched those bone dry greens between my fingers the door opened and Gikvaris stepped in. With no visible sign that he took notice of my newest clothing invention as my midsection was hidden beneath the table that came up to just above my breasts, I smiled sarcastically before tossing the greens into my mouth.

"Did you wipe your ass with those white strips hanging up in the washroom?"

Gikvaris leaned against the frame of the door but ignored my playful baiting. "Need to replenish reserves."

"Great!" I pushed my plate away, thoroughly disgusted that I even gave into eating it. "When do we leave?"

Gikvaris chirred, his back against the frame and his arms crossed over his chest. "We?"

"Yeah. You, me, and all the bay-bies?"

"H'ko." He pushed away from the wall. "Tiny ooman remain on transport ship. Will be gone no more than three moons."

"Three days?!" I shot up out of my chair.

A deep rumble emitted from Gikvaris and I flung my hands up in the air. Did he really think I would take the news with a nod and a smile?

"You're just gonna leave me here?! What happens if you don't come back? If none of you come back? I'll go crazy before I starve to death!"

But the rumble didn't relent, increasing as his mandibles began to jut outward.

"What? You don't think it _could_ happen?"

He stepped forward, his shoulders slightly hunched as if he was about to barrel through the row of tables between us.

"Gik, what the fuck – " I paused and followed his narrowed eyes as they lowered.

 _Oh God._

I let out a nervous laugh before stepping away from the bench, sure now that at any second he was going to scale the metal tabletops or just toss them aside to get at me.

His bawled fists unfurled and I caught the glimmer of his talons which were now on display for me; a warning that he meant to slice my newest creation into tiny, indiscernible ribbons.

I slid to the side until I was out of the isle and crept toward him, my hands up at my chest, palms out. He snarled as I slipped past him and continued to emit that thunderous rumbling as he followed at my heels. I went straight to his quarters and marched my ass straight over to my corner, wearing an imaginary dunce hat as he snatched a pelt off of his bed and left the room with it.

With baited breath I waited to hear the heavy thunking of his returning footsteps, wishing there was a way to make myself so compact that he would never find me; only reappearing when enough time had passed for him to be more pissed at my Houdini skills than looking like Jane Porter. When he finally returned he strode across the room and flung the pelt at me, towering over me with his arms crossed over his chest.

I slid up against the wall and moved to slip around him but he stepped to the right and blocked me.

"If you want me to change then – "

"Here." He jutted his chin out and puffed out his chest.

 _Oh._

Sheepishly I slipped my hands around my back, trying to reach the knot with my fingers but finding it nearly impossible as I had knotted it while in front of me. To add to it I was so nervous and embarrassed that my fingers began to shake. I let out a whisper of a laugh while looking up at him and turned around, lifting my hair so that he would see the knot and end my pitiful struggle.

He slid his finger against my back and behind the fabric, careful not the nick me with his talon before using it to slice through the thick hide. I kept it pinned against my breasts and turned around, letting it fall to the floor only when he issued another warning growl.

In unwrapping my self-made lower covering I dawdled, feeling like I was going to die on the inside if he kept staring at me like he was going to embarrass me before gutting me. And it was one thing to strut across the room bare ass naked while he sat on the opposite side and quite another to be stripping naked while inches away from him.

"I can't do this while you're staring at me."

Without another warning his hand shot out against my right hip and pinned me against the wall. With his other hand he dragged his talon down the length of my bottom covering and gave the fur such a forceful yank that I stumbled against him. I snapped back against the wall, folding my arms across my chest and crossing my legs.

With as much grace as I could muster (or really just dignity) I bent forward and picked up the pelt, holding it against my body and nodding. I got it. Message received. No more mutilating his furs.

I pulled the covering over my head and tied the rubbery, makeshift cords around my neck. Satisfied that I was now wearing a Gikvaris-approved covering he clicked his tusks before turning to leave.

As much as I wanted to revisit our mess hall conversation I had little hope that my pre-breakfast activities had given Gikvaris a change of heart in bringing me along on his hunting excursion. So rather than sitting and stewing in the corner for the next several hours I would just go walk off my frustrations. The ones that had a lot to do with again being manhandled and forced into wearing a primitive sundress. Beat the hell out of me why Gikvaris cared so much what I wore when my own mate didn't seem opposed to my donning a birthday suit. Though I hadn't been born with the steel nerves required to commit myself to a life of nudism Kch'lo would have considered my lack of clothing something to be proud of: a look but don't touch kind of a deal. He was just arrogant like that.

As I waited for the door to open I became aware of just how ticked off Gikvaris was at me. The thick, metal panel refused to obey my finger's command to open, despite how many times I pushed the button or with the rapid fury I pressed it with as if the wires connected to the button were a little loose and just needed a little prompting. I tried to take comfort in the fact that this was surely a temporary punishment seeing how he hadn't left me any food or water. Unless he intended to leave me in here and starve the mischief out of me which was a real possibility considering the madness behind most of his methods. But I wouldn't let my mind go there because if Gikvaris had any hope in ever breaking me food was the way to do it and I was pretty sure he knew that.

I plopped down on his bed and thought of anything that would take my mind off of my present situation. It wasn't like they had handed me an instruction manual I could reference when faced with a behavior I didn't understand. I had half a mind to write one, actually, and distribute it to all the new girls so maybe they wouldn't have to unravel the Yautja mystery while locked inside a tin can. I thought of dozens of reasons why Gikvaris objected to any deviation from the standard-issued 'ooman' covering, but if the reason made sense to me then it surely wasn't his reason.

I wound up spending days thinking about that _and_ everything else. Four days to be exact and only after Day Number 2 did I find a stash of cured rjet in one of Gikvaris' crates. And the water? I drank from the basin and didn't allow myself to speculate if it was spring water or recycled bathwater. Or worse than bathwater.

I was sitting on the bed when I heard the faint clanking of metal against metal and the pressurized seal of the scout ship locking against the transport ship that followed. I knew Gikvaris had returned with his troupe long before Gikvaris actually stepped through the door. He paid me little attention as he crossed the room and removed his bio-mask, turning to look at me while dismantling his armor, waiting for a hail of insults and vapid threats but I offered none. I was torn between unleashing four days of pent up rage and giving in to forgiving him for being such an asshole and asking him how the hell his hunt went. And ask him what he brought me back to eat, too, because if I had to eat one more piece of rjet jerky I was going to blow chunks all over his polished floor.

He glanced at the open door and then back to me, silently letting me know I was free to leave the room now. I guess he wasn't going to break the ice between us and seeing how he owed me a huge apology – along with an explanation as to why I had been locked up in the first place – he made my decision easy for me.

I glared at him and stood up, he stiffening in response to my adversarial stance. But I wasn't planning on saying a single word to him. Instead, I pinched the sides of my pelt and stretched it out, mimicking a courtesy only without the respectful bow.

 _Yeah. It's still where ya left it._

He brought his mandibles together like pincers before turning to hang up his armor. I stormed out of the room even though I had no idea where I could go that would be any better than my recent windowless prison. It wasn't like he wouldn't be able to find me; there was thirty-four of us crammed into a one level, floating tin can, but I was determined to utterly and completely ignore him for as long as possible so that he would get the message that _I was pissed._

I headed straight to the loading bay and scanned the droves of Yautja hauling their skinned kills behind them. I weaved in and out of their group formations until I found Cz'ha and his translating sidekick. Both looked at me with what I can only describe as pure caution. I admit, I'm pretty sure I had that crazy look in my eyes.

"Tell Cz'ha I got a deal for him."

Sidekick chirred before relaying the message which prompted a grunt from Cz'ha.

"I'll teach him to speak ooman if he'll agree to spar with me in the kehrite. Kehrite first, lesson after. Every night until we return to clanship."

"What makes ooman so sure Cz'ha needs ooman speech?"

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously? He's never gonna live down that bent mandible of his. So when the female oomans get to talking he might as well know how to spin the story in his favor."

Proposal effectively translated Cz'ha nodded and brought his fist against his chest.

"Oh…and one more thing."

"Krh'ahn," he said. "Egg-see-ah," he gestured at me and then to himself. "Khr'ahn."

Now that we were all acquainted with each other there was one more item of business that needed to be addressed. "First ooman expression you'll need to learn: 'Loose lips sink ships'. Our arrangement stays between us." After both nodded in agreement I added, "By the looks of it it's time for our first lesson."

Khr'ahn shook his head. "Must tend to kill first."

"Sei-i. _Yes._ N'got. _Good._ We'll start with that." I looked down at the lump of meat on the floor, the metallic scent of its blood filling my nostrils.

And so for the next several weeks Cz'ha and I set aside our differences and respectively deepened our knowledge of each other's species. I was sure we never would have made a truce under any other circumstances, but seeing how we had a long journey ahead of us with nothing better to do it just made sense.

Gikvaris made himself scarce and on the rare occasion we crossed paths he rumbled before disappearing down the hall. We were two stubborn assholes who refused to be the one that broke first. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but my worry increased when he failed to return to his quarters the night of his return. And the next and then the next. I don't know where he slept, whether it was on the scout ship or in one of the crew quarters, but I got the feeling he was more angry with me than I with him. But again the determination to prove to him that I wasn't the weak human he thought I was – in breaking down first and trying to drag his ass back to his quarters – was too powerful to overcome.

So I focused on Cz'ha and our lessons, figuring that if Gikvaris wasn't go to spend what little time we had left together to continue teaching me then I needed to learn any way I could. Because the space between myself and The Bitch was narrowing and I needed to be sure that when I hit the ground running my time off with Kch'lo and Chakuube hadn't left me below par.

* * *

 **"** **Higher." Cz'ha raised his fists just below his mandibles** so that I could see the level he wanted my fists positioned. "Keep close."

Cz'ha wasn't some rudimentary student that needed years of schooling to be able to grasp the English language. He wasn't just making leaps of progress in his lessons, he was fucking catapulting. And despite the hushed nature of our arrangement other Yautjas took notice and began sitting a lot closer in the mess hall to learn a thing or two about how to communicate with their future human counterparts.

Cz'ha took a jab at me and I ducked, but since just barely grazing my chin was unacceptable we fell into formation again. He was determined to work out the kinks of my reflexes so that I could effectively dodge an unanticipated punch to the face. Like the one he had graced me with in the jungle. Then we would work on my counter shot. And why were we sparring without weapons? Because Cz'ha believed that no Yautja – or human – should depend on having a weapon to win a battle because weapons jammed, malfunctioned, or were sometimes just impractical to carry at all times. I had learned that in the lower levels of our clanship and paid a hefty price because of it. So as I taught him the art of the human language Cz'ha taught me the art of street fighting – Yautja style. And it was an added bonus that I was picking up more Yautja terms myself whenever we encountered objects we needed to work through translating together.

"Don't stop," I told him. "When you swing at me, don't stop."

"Sei-i?"

I shook my head. He wasn't permitted to speak to me in his language and he knew it, but just like me he _loved_ pushing boundaries and bending rules just to see how far they would bend before breaking.

He huffed, but he would thank me later for my persistence. _"Yes?"_

"Sei-i." I smiled. "Want to work on my leg thrust." It hadn't been going very well since Cz'ha weighed three hundred pounds and I weighed all of one hundred and thirty, but I was going to get the technique down even if it killed me. Literally.

"Good." Even though his 'good' sounded more like 'ga-ud', I was pleased he was communicating with me audibly instead of through splayed mandibles and mocking chuffs.

We took our positions and when he swung at me I ducked as usual, but then he followed up with a leg swipe that sent my ass backwards on the mat. Other times I had been quick enough to jump and miss that tree log of his, but this time I wanted him to knock me off of my feet. As soon as I was lying flat on the mat he dropped down on one knee and reached his hand toward my throat. He did this in a motion I was sure was much slower than he would use on an actual opponent he wanted to kill as otherwise I would be left with a crushed trachea, but before his hand met my throat I lifted my knee against his chest, swiveled it, swung my shin at an angle against his abdomen and tried to move him in a semi-circle to throw him off of me. It didn't work, but I wasn't daunted. Practice made perfect and at least I was creating muscle memory.

He pressed his palms against the mat above my shoulders, still bent over me, and trilled. "Better."

I nodded, breathless from exerting all of my energy into throwing him off of me.

We repeated the moves again and again while Cz'ha's BFF, Khr'ahn, watched from the sidelines. Every once in a while Khr'ahn would chime in with a nugget of wisdom for me – expounding upon Cz'ha's explanations from a neutral perspective, but I suspected that aiding Cz'ha in my training wasn't his real motive. I think he rather enjoyed watching a human and a Yautja interact that didn't involve breeding or skinning. I was more than happy to show him that there was more to the Yautja/human relationship than fucking and hunting. Those were integral (at least for me), but not the sum total.

I was down on the mat again when Cz'ha moved to pull me up onto my feet when a loud sound erupted in the kehrite. I gasped, letting go of Cz'ha's hand while he jerked back. Still lying down on the mat I tilted my head up and looked back toward the doors. There was only one form in the universe I was so familiar with that I could draw his outline with my eyes closed; one I had continually watched from out of the corner of my eye so that I wouldn't find myself face first in the dirt below a twenty foot tree. The hammering of his roar was jarring; like twisting, screeching metal. I tried to suppress a visceral shudder but my body was helpless to defend itself against uttering such a response. Everyone knew Gikvaris was a force to be reckoned with; me more than anyone else.

Instead of charging he approached Cz'ha in that menacingly alert way of his that I just _knew_ no matter how many escape routes I – or Cz'ha at this point - plotted there wasn't a chance in hell I was getting by his focused reach. It was like he just wanted one of us to try, too. He backed Cz'ha off of the mat before circling around and yanking me up on my feet. He tucked me underneath his arm, his elbow at my waist and his hand clamped down on my shoulder, dragging me out of the kehrite like some oversized package, unhampered by my desperate attempts to catch my footing. After realizing that he wasn't going to slow his pace or lower me a smidge to reach the floor I gave up and allowed him to tote me along under his arm.

When he dumped me on the floor in his quarters I quickly sprung up onto my feet.

"Have taken un-Blooded as kv'var n'yaka-de now?"

This was one of those rhetorical questions, I was sure. I _was_ technically training with an un-Blooded in the absence of my real kv'var n'yaka-de. _Was._ Because his kehrite theatrics surely put a damper on Cz'ha wanting to spar with me again since he most likely wanted to protect his other mandible from dislodging under Gikvaris' heavy fist.

So instead of answering Gikvaris' question so truthfully – because _that_ would be a serious mistake - and distract him so that he would forget all about it, I switched gears. "You locked me in this fucking room for days, Gik! And when you came back you didn't say a word. Not a word! And every night I stayed awake hoping you would come back and make things right, you didn't! You didn't come back at all." I growled through gritted teeth. "I mean…fuck, Gik! Was cutting up my covering really so bad I had to be locked up for _days?"_

"Was for own good." He clicked his tusks.

I scoffed and plopped down on the edge of his pallet. I couldn't even begin to fathom how doing that had been for my own good.

"Could not leave ship unattended. Could not leave Ex-see-ah unattended."

I bulged my eyes at him. He had more explaining to do than that.

"Un-blooded have little respect for females. Less for oomans."

I shot up from the bed and marched over to him. I cocked my fist and aimed it at his shoulder, but he caught my hand and curled his fingers around my entire fist. He wasn't angry anymore, but I sure as hell was.

"Just let me do it, Gikvaris…" My voice was a scathing hiss. "Just let me do it and we'll call it even." Though 'even' would be locking him in the washroom and forcing him to eat some horrible human food for days on end…like tofu. Or tripe.

He nodded and let go of my fist, but when push came to shove I just couldn't do it. Maybe I was weak. Surely this was me giving in first.

"Why didn't you just take me with you? Even if I couldn't keep up…it's not like I'm completely helpless." I shrugged before sighing. It didn't matter what his reason was at this point. What was done was done. Seeing the futility in begging him to shed light on the past I decided to be more future-minded.

"So…does this mean I can still spar with Cz'ha?"

His eyes flickered, I suppose insulted I even asked. "H'ko."

"Can I spar with _anyone?"_

"H'ko."

"Not even you?"

"When ready."

Was asking _not_ an indication that I was ready?

"I am."

He shook his head. "Will be soon."

I had no idea what the hell he was talking about until later that evening. Sitting pretzel style on the floor in the control room I whittled away at a pile of bones left over from one of Gikvaris' kills. He gave them to me in what I suspect was to keep me occupied like some kind of toddler with building blocks, but I was actually quite thrilled to keep busy even if it was only to keep me quiet as he sifted through incoming transmissions like checking emails. Though I don't know who the hell would ever want to communicate with Gikvaris that wasn't already on this ship. Hell, in this _room._

Shaving and carving away at a chunk of bone in an attempt to make a shiv, intending to use the rest of the discarded bones for a makeshift comb and maybe chopsticks – hell, I had oodles of time to kill – I felt a sensation of warmth fan out between my legs and for a moment I believed it was quite possible that in my unbroken focus I had ignored my body's warning signals and actually pissed myself. Or that I had become acclimated to how fucking hot it was and was dripping sweat again. But when I looked down between my legs the floor was dry. I shrugged it off but a few minutes later the sensation happened again, only this time it was more of a dripping sensation than radiating warmth.

Choosing to believe that Gikvaris was too wrapped up sifting through his holographic messages to be paying attention to me I reached my hand between my thighs and brushed my finger against the warmth that enveloped my folds. Retracting my hand I stiffened. Though losing my womb had been a curse, losing my monthly visitor had not been. With an embarrassed gasp I realized what exactly Gikvaris had meant about my not being ready to spar. My head started racing with the hows and whys of his knowing before I knew and then I recalled Cz'ha mentioning that he suspected Gikvaris' sudden mission to replenish reserves had been prompted by 'rut'. But I realized it had less to do with rut and more to do with the fact that I had been in estrus – which explained his insistence that I not halve my covering, his refusal to take me with him and thirty-two unpredictable Yautja, and locking me in his room not to keep _me_ prisoner but to keep me from the other Yautja on board. But breaking up mine and Cz'ha's sparring match? Maybe he just wanted to spare me a serious dose of embarrassment. Would have been a tad awkward trying to explain blood on the mat that wasn't from any talon nicks.

I felt horrible for thinking he had imprisoned me over something as silly as cutting up a measly pelt. I even dismissed him when he told me he had done it for my own good. Like it wasn't possible for me to believe that he would do something for my own good when really he always had.

I'd have some serious apologizing to do later, but right now the only thing I could think about doing was scurrying down the hallway with my thighs pinched together and sitting in the washroom until I had the courage to ask Gikvaris to unlock the medbay. I needed gauze and it wasn't to make myself a flexible two-piece.

And then I would think about why this was happening at all and what, if anything, it meant for me.


	24. Chapter 24 - Tending

_**Ally: I literally envisioned 'unintelligible fangirling screams' as I read it. Gik and Exia are each other's true counterpart, but it's like the mental phenomena of knowing you are perfectly paired with your best friend but there's a big mental block that doesn't allow you to imagine a sexual aspect exists or could exist. There are things she takes notice of that a true platonic interest wouldn't. But for now….I leave them to muddle through their (unaware) sexual tension! Thank you for the encouraging feedback. Truly keeps me going!**_

 _ **DystrVction: I am responding to several of your reviews and will break them up by the chapter: chapter 22: 'GikvarisxExia' – like or dislike? Chapter 19: you mean in Kch'lo's resistance in keeping baby? Chapter 17: Yes, my personal motto. Chapter 12: its totally not the way they SHOULD, but some of my characters tend to leave the fold (of culture) either because they don't care about consequences or truly wont face them. It's certainly the way it's done down here on Earth, it seems. Chapter 11: Exia's main focus was training to defeat another human, so immediately when faced with possibly doing battle with a Yautja coupled with being caught off guard, she froze. And I think a part of her thought that she was untouchable because she had Kal'ar to protect her. But fear not! Chap 24 makes mention of training Cz'ha and Exia together because even he realizes she'll need to know how to hold up against a Yautja some day. Chapter 5: I do know of a few wink wink.**_

 _ **NurseNancyNP: Thank you for the encouragement. I seriously need it sometimes when I'm stuck in the throes of writers block. Its vicious. Keeps me awake for hours. I am touched you love the story. I really want the story to shine, but my characters to shine even brighter.**_

 _ **Zekinthas: you are on to something…But its got to wait until after facing off with The Biatch. And BTW, I have SOOO not forgotten about you or what is soon to be cooked up.**_

 _ **Sunstreaker's Squishy: I was really going to take that subject and do so much with it, since Gik is such a man's man, if you know what I mean. But Gik, to quote Shrek, is like an 'onion' to me. And I've got to slowly peel back those hard layers so that he isnt just some primitive, raw meat eating hunter without curiosity in another species or inisight. Becase to me, brains is often way more terriying than brawn.**_

 _ **Sunstreaker's Squishy chapter 18 : I was going to make a thing out of the Badblood and the human, and actually I had a mind to make it exactly as you said it – but I killed them off and the only one who would really know that is Chakuube, and for me he had to keep his good appearances if he wanted Exia to accept. And the truth is, there are so many situations in life that leave us wondering what the hell was really going on and thus fiction is born to answer those questions. But if you REALLLLLY want me to flesh out their backstory, I suppose its quite possible – but only if you want. So drop a line and let me know and I'll work it in.**_

 _ **KATT9033: how are you feeling? Hopefully on your way to better health! It's a shame Ive really made up my mind that I cant share the first person POV with Gikvaris. There's so much going on with him that Exia wont ever know…but which plays a huge part in his actions, responses, etc.**_

 _ **TenJP – I havent 100% decided what I'm gonna do with the two of them just yet. For now, I'm content leaving him as her de facto guardian/BFF/teacher because I've got other plots to drive. Its just one of those things…we tend to gravitate toward those that are toxic and/or lead to dead ends (Kch'lo) because it breaks up the monotony of life rather than the drama-fee gaurantee of someone who seemingly lives a rudimentary life (our boy Gik). And I have already made up my mind that when this story finally sees its end, I have to do something with Giks character.**_

 _ **KTCameleon: Not water, but it all leads back to her time in the clinic. He was in fact being protective of her (toughie has a soft side haha), but it remains to be seen if just being a good hunt brother is solely what's driving that behavior. And as for the 2 new characters, I've got to get my girl networking.**_

 _ **write more soon: hit a small snag (in the brain), but here it is!**_

 _ **FutureEnchantments: Change is on the horizon, but she's not out of the woods just yet. But I have to take a hiatus from that right now because before she can deal with that there happens to be this offensive human that needs her attention first.**_

 _ **APeaceOfPie4Everybody011: surely does…but chap 24 will only touch on her concerns about that. I have to pick up where I left off before she got gutted: The Bitch.**_

 _ **Tenjp: this is to your first review of 23. 1) Thank you, thank you! Means the world to me. 2) I do plan on giving Gik his own POV after this story ends. Just not sure if I want to go PRE-Exia or pick up after. 3) We (actually, she) are on our way there. 4) No…as much as I would love to hear that you actually did…Chp 24 really clarifies that it isnt water!**_

 **A/N: I could have expanded upon Exia's time on the transport ship, but to me it was beating a dead horse and I really needed to get her back 'home' to pick up where she left off with The Bitch. This chapter took a little longer to post because I just hit mental snags every day. It may seem fast-paced, but I just needed to wrap up so that I can focus on her entire purpose for ditching surrogate-motherhood. I hope you enjoy...As always, please provide much needed feedback. Keeps me going. Seriously. I don't want the reviews to beef up my story, I need it solely for encouragement and to work out any flaws I didn't notice but that you did.**

 **Disclaimer *** I do not own any aspect of AVP, Predators, etc. I only own my characters. That's it. And I don't earn a penny in writing this. I just write because I'm secretly hoping that these pages will start acting like a Goosebumps book and come to life when I open them up. I need to snag me a real life Yautja.**

* * *

 **The unrelenting pain that originated in my abdomen** , radiated into my lower back and down into the muscles of my thighs returned with stifling pangs that doubled me over with each new wave that washed over me. Sleep failed to dull the sharp cramps that came shortly after my embarrassing discovery in the control room and encasing myself in layers of pelts throughout the night to rid myself of a ceaseless stretch of chills that seemed to emanate from within my bones rather than the chill of deep space had also proven unsuccessful. But one thing that had changed in the time between closing my eyes and opening them again was that I was now elevated instead of being parallel to the floor. When I finally caught my bearings I realized that I was in Gikvaris' bed though I was unsure at what point in the night that actually occurred.

I unfurled myself from my fetal position and turned onto my back, struggling to curb deep ruts of pain brought on by even the slightest of movements. I slowly lifted myself and scooted back toward the wall, the pain only dulling once I was finally able to lean against it. I rested my hand over my abdomen as if cradling it with the warmth of my fingers would encourage the deep ravines of pain just below its surface to subside, but I knew I was in for an intense couple of hours. The reality was that the pain might very well last a couple of days. I really couldn't expect anything less; I was sure having a blade rammed through my uterus had disrupted a great many things, including an otherwise tolerable period.

I was relieved when Gikvaris entered the room, but he seemed startled in seeing me sitting up in the bed, no less awake. I smiled weakly, but even such a mild response was a strain on me.

"Should be sleeping." He stood near the bed but thankfully didn't sit down on the edge. I didn't think I could take the pain that would erupt when the bed angled under his weight.

"Gik…I don't think I could have made it from there to here on my own." Indeed, the distance between my corner of the room and his pallet was an insurmountable feat considering the measure of pain waiting to greet me with something as simple as too deep of an inhale.

He chuffed, intending to say little concerning what happened during the night. Thankfully I wasn't in the mood to pester him. Whether my midnight fussing had kept him awake or he had actually taken pity on me, whatever prompted him to carry me from my corner stretch of floor to his oversized bed had been a good thing for me and I didn't need to know much more about it. Or annoy him enough that he would never do so again.

"Gik, what's happening to me?" It was silly asking him but I didn't put it past him to actually know. In the human world there was such a thing as 'useless knowledge' and so it stood to reason that the same was true in the Yautja universe. I didn't think knowing about a female's reproductive system would prove useful to Gikvaris - in the least a _human_ female's reproductive system - but the hell if I knew _what_ he actually knew or what was useful to him.

"Have inquired of Kyhemeda." He paused, the seriousness in his eyes melting into something more playful. "Not like there is ooman manual."

My eyes widened in amused annoyance. "Funny…I was thinking that myself just a few days ago..." I tucked my hair behind my ears and focused my breathing while another bout of sharp spasms sprang up.

"Any news from Kyhemeda?"

To my relief Gikvaris paid no attention to the strain of my tone because there was little point in making a thing of it and truthfully I was more interested in knowing why he would reach out to Kyhemeda with questions of my condition instead of Vik'var'is as Kyhemeda fashioned suits, not medicine. It was better than being asked that polite yet utterly frustrating question of 'are you okay' when clearly all signs indicated otherwise. Conversation was key to distracting myself from the severity of my pain.

"Am checking transmissions every hour."

No matter how much I wanted answers I couldn't and didn't expect their exchange to be immediate as if there was a string of cellular towers to ping the data of their messages with lightning speed. We were in deep space and no matter how advanced their technology was time and a great deal of patience would eventually yield results.

"Contact made through private channels. Will take longer."

"Why?" It wasn't like Gikvaris to circumvent complete transparency.

I waited for him to answer and believed he was trying to put his reason into words, but he turned and headed for the door instead.

"Will return with sedative from medbay."

I sure as shit wasn't going to argue with him. Not about blatantly ignoring my question or about leaving to fetch me Yautja drugs. Anything, and I mean _anything_ he wanted to do was just fucking fine at this point if it meant getting an ounce of relief.

* * *

 **Following my adamant declarations** that the pain wasn't as bad as I was letting on and Gikvaris' refusal to give into my panicked protesting came a deafening scream I was sure would continue to echo throughout the chasm of space for an eternity. Vik'var'is' needle didn't have shit on the punch-style gun of a Yautja hunt medkit. Worst of all was how he didn't insert it into the tougher skin of my upper arm but drove it directly into the tender flesh of my thigh, adding to an already unbearable amount of pain.

I rubbed the injection site to dull its throbbing sting, still in a full-fledged frenzy that rivaled any panic attack when discovering the mother of all spiders just before it scurries into hiding under the bed. Gikvaris issued a steady purr my way and soon my flapping hands went still, though I don't know if what did it was the liquid morphine of his purr or that actual Yautja liquid morphine he had just injected in me. Either way, I settled down and went limp and Gikvaris removed his hand from my shoulder, no longer needing to keep me from escaping what in the end was good for me. Great for me. The best fucking thing that could possibly happen to me at this point.

The sedative took the edge off of the deep ache in my lower body, dulling its presence and making it more tolerable. Shortly before pinning me down and squeezing the trigger of the gun, Gikvaris explained that it contained a single dose of a numbing agent used when badly injured during a hunt, such as the time when Gikvaris withstood a volley of bullets after inserting himself into the woods surrounding a military installment, taking one to the ankle and another to his hip. Or the time he underestimated a fledgling kainde amedha and it took a nice chunk of flesh from his forearm with its barb-like stinger. The 'folly of youth', he added defensively when I snickered. So he reduced the dose to less than a quarter of what would numb a Yautja for twelve hours straight but I wasn't complaining. Even that quarter dose was pure bliss.

I remained in bed for several hours before I felt able enough to drag my ass into the mess hall. I had a serious case of cottonmouth and as great as this medicine was it didn't put a damper on hunger pangs. There really was no circumstance where food was not an appropriate go-to for me.

I drank several glasses of water before throwing a few pieces of naxa down the hatch and headed back toward Gikvaris' quarters, but on the way I took a slight detour. I had been off of my feet longer than I liked and seeing how there wasn't a great prospect of recovering after a nice healthy nap I needed to get in as much visual stimulation as possible before being bedridden again in a windowless room. It was more than mere coincidence that I found myself at the kehrite doors, though I wasn't bold enough to actually enter no matter how loopy I was feeling. I wasn't ready to be yanked off of the mat and then dragged down the hall so soon. So instead I put my back against the doors and sat down, content with merely hearing the sparring going on inside while visualizing the movement that invoked labored grunts and frustrated snarls.

Hearing the sound of weapons clashing and the eventual chuff of victory made me realize how close I was to exacting my revenge and as if I needed any reassurance that what I was determined to do was the right thing to do my current affliction only solidified my determination to exact it. And swiftly. Dalani was the reason behind a great portion of my past and present suffering. I was sure as hell the intensity of Aunt Flow was on account of her pet jamming a machete into my gut. Well to me it might as well have been a machete. This pain…this pain was not even a quarter of what I felt before Kyhemeda scooped me up, but that pain and this pain was a pain I wouldn't soon forget. And for that Dalani had to pay. I had every intention of making her bleed as badly as I had bled in the corridor only I didn't intend to let her live to suffer losing what conceivably made her female in the first place.

But after serving justice – one that didn't involve re-gifting the evil bitch to an Elder – I would pursue the answers to my present condition. Gikvaris had removed himself, ninety-nine percent of his Yautja students, and locked me up like a criminal because he detected the scent of my estrus which meant I was ovulating again. But even if I truly wasn't infertile – despite it being conveyed to me that I was – did I even have cause to celebrate since my uterus was indeed weakened by my injury? If able to conceive would I be putting myself and my pup at risk with the possibility of a ruptured uterus? It also wasn't lost on me how clear it had been made that Kch'lo 'had his pups'. How he wasn't keen on the idea of helping me raise Chakuube's and how Chakuube himself had filled me in on a Yautja's preference to have a 'pure' pup and not a 'half breed'. Why would Kch'lo tarnish his spotless line of pure Yautja offspring with a human born pup? I had accepted it because it wasn't in the cards for me but I was beginning to wonder if that was all about to change.

And for all that I had to admit what a blessing it was that Gikvaris exercised discretion in using a private channel to communicate with Kyhemeda. I didn't want anyone outside of the extremely small circle of Gikvaris-approved Yautja knowing what was happening to me. I needed answers before the plotting and scheming could begin. I had to believe that's what would happen since Kch'lo obtained possession of me on a technicality and if Kal'ar ever had a reason to nullify his rescission of my ownership this was definitely that reason. Especially since their brotherly spat boiled down to pride and the injury to it. These brothers definitely didn't live by the motto 'bros before hos'. They hadn't been taught from birth that blood was thicker than water. They were taught that blood was just as palatable as water and to drink that shit to the last drop.

"Nracha-dte."

I looked up as Gikvaris strode toward me. He reared his head to gesticulate my getting up and following him, but I no longer had any feelings in my legs. I rubbed my legs and grinned, a goofy smiling erupting at the thought of having Gumby legs. He couldn't possibly be angry with me; it was his idea to pump me full of drugs meant for a species that weighed the same as a horse. The fact that I felt like I could float away had me wondering if Gikvaris knew the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon.

Taking the hint that I wasn't going anywhere on my own any time soon he bent over and scooped me up in his arms.

"Not even your tranqs can keep me away." I rested my head against his chest. He pegged me accurately: Nracha-dte. Relentless. I belonged in the kehrite. It's where my old, tarnished purpose had been transformed into one even more satisfying.

"Can return when condition passes."

"With you?"

"Sei-i. And Cz'ha." He grumbled. "Un-blooded has much to learn."

"Don't they all?"

 _Don't I also?_

"Sei-i, but Cz'ha has displayed superior skill. Now that tiny ooman and Cz'ha are no longer at throats will be easy to instruct together. Will give tiny ooman good practice. Give Cz'ha smaller head."

Gikvaris was one to talk about big heads, but then again he had the experience and skill to back up his arrogant attitude.

"What if I'm not better by the time we reach the clanship?" Since I didn't know exactly what was wrong with me it was a possibility. And if it turned out that way Gikvaris had better pray he had enough sedatives to keep me from tearing his face off.

"Many warriors to teach tiny ooman on clanship."

I believed the sedative was working until I felt the sting of his reply. He would never understand the concept of having favorites. I don't suppose Yautja had favorites. I imagine when deciding who they would choose as their mei'hswe they executed their judgment from a keen battle perspective rather than which Yautja had the shiniest rank rings; less to do with shining personalities and more in how ferocious their spine-ripping skills were. Which called to mind the fact that Gikvaris and Kal'ar were technically still hunt brothers even though Kal'ar had moved up in station and no longer focused his attention to The Hunt. I wondered if they each still considered each other as such or if they had come to some unspoken agreement that they would remain so in name only. I would definitely ask him one day…just not today.

"Hey Gik...When you broke up my match with Cz'ha…it didn't have anything to do with my being in heat, did it?" It was a bold question, I know. One I didn't ask _him_ lightly, but if this was going to be a monthly occurrence I needed to know what about it had set him off. Because whatever it was I was sure _it_ would set Kch'lo off tenfold.

"Condition is confusing to Un-blooded. Scent of blood is sign of weakness. Sign of death. Yet tiny ooman appears healthy. Do not have enough experience to resist exploiting such a weakness. As female you will always be temptation for Un-blooded. Will want to know why blood does not weaken or kill." He shifted me in his arms to make himself more comfortable. "Condition to Blooded is offensive."

As if my 'condition' didn't already make me feel disgusting he had to go and add that. I didn't even want to know why it was so offensive to him and all his Blooded comrades. It would make about as much sense as his reason for cutting things short with Cz'ha the Un-blooded. There was a simple solution to keeping them from exploring a source of blood that didn't weaken its host: Health 101.

"And you?" I tilted my head back and leaned against his shoulder. "Do you find me…offensive?"

"H'ko. Offense in body. Life within dies but there is no honor to be gained from it."

I smiled and put my head back against his chest. Menstruation surely wasn't the sort of 'death' I would self-destruct for in order to gain honor from it.

"A simple 'no' would have done it."

"Would have kept tiny ooman quiet?"

As we reached his quarters I shook my head. It certainly wouldn't have and it was good to know he was adjusting to my conversational needs…naturally. Though I would never tease him on account of it. Didn't want to ruin a good thing by drawing attention to what he was obviously – and preferably - blind to.

* * *

 **"Up."**

After an unceremonious shove I opened my eyes and squinted at the figure looming over me. The room was pitch black but I could still trace Gikvaris' silhouette from the red lights glowing across the room from the door panel.

"Gik…"

He shoved me again and I raised my hand in the air while tossing the pelt off of me, letting him know I didn't need any more 'encouragement'. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and when my feet hit the cold floor I shuddered physically and verbally. As much as I wanted to spend a few more moments shaking the heavy hold of the dream Gikvaris had violently ripped me away from I could already _feel_ his impatience. Whatever he wanted obviously couldn't wait for my eyesight or my mental acuity to adjust.

I stumbled in the darkness toward the door and followed Gikvaris in stiff, zombie-like motion as we moved down the hall. The ship was the quietest I ever heard it; not even the engines made their gurgling, grinding noises as we drifted through space in our sleep - sleep Gikvaris had rudely interrupted me from. I already knew I would never get back to sleep now…not unless he felt inclined to give me some of that Yautja heroin ahead of schedule.

While half of my brain battled with the other to return to the realm of dreams I hardly noticed we were standing in Gikvaris' scout ship until I caught myself staring a little too hard at his egg shaped chair; caught in the reflection captured in the chrome frame, the distorted shapes only deepening the lull my mind was trapped in.

"Kyhemeda."

I looked over at Gikvaris, his voice tunneling into my ears as stunted sound. He flicked his hand at his side, an unspoken command for me to align my ass to his. With a soft groan I complied, the haze of my mind too thick to muster up any argument that would convince him that all of this could wait until a decent hour.

He nodded toward the display screen that remained still in its hibernation mode save for a single blinking red dot at the bottom right corner. Gikvaris brought the tip of his talon against it and the screen came to life in bright white light. I squinted until my eyes could bear to look at it without being inclined to snap shut again and I followed the patterned symbols Gikvaris keyed in, lost in their meaning _and_ the one that had me standing when I should have been lying in the warmth of Gikvaris' bed. Yes, the bed Gikvaris 'temporarily' gave up until I was feeling better. Even after Aunt Flow saw herself out I intended to milk my pain for as long as I could before Gikvaris caught wind of my trickery. Or caught scent of it…or lack of.

"Put on." Gikvaris shoved his bio-mask into my unready hands and I fumbled to keep a firm grip on it.

I rolled my eyes before an ugly yawn twisted my face. "If you haven't noticed…my head isn't as big as yours."

Gikvaris stepped behind me and curled his fingers around both of my wrists, manipulating my arms to bring my hands and the mask they were holding against my face. He let go of me and held the sides of the mask, stepping forward against me as I stumbled backwards, disoriented by the mode of vision that was too magnified for me to make out any discernable shape or form. Everything was red; a solid wall of red thermal vision that no amount of squinting and wincing could adjust to. Or at least it didn't seem likely since I had human eyes to work with.

I felt movement at my side and a large shape swelled in front of me. The inside of the mask was more like a computer screen than what I imagined was like looking out of goggles. My eyes followed the blob of mixed red and pink light with a center of orange and yellow before remembering that for the most part Yautja tracked their prey by their heat signature and the more I focused my eyes the more the blob of color took the form of Gikvaris' hand. He moved further then closer, again and again until I nodded to confirm that I was somewhat comfortable with and understood enough of the mechanics of the mask enough to look at whatever he was about to show me.

The screen went back to red until after several beeps another blob of varying colors centered on the screen and grew into a recognizable form. As the image swayed and wavered in the flickering quirks of its transmission source, sound echoed throughout the mask, none of which I could understand. Its familiar clicking and haunting whirring further confirmed that the form I was looking at was Yautja and that he – who I assumed was Kyhemeda – was relaying a message Gikvaris wanted me to hear. His form appeared as hues of red and pink, though it lacked the detail of hair or mandibles. This was something I would never get used to as I preferred being met and overwhelmed by the detail of the object I was looking at, not the degree of its internal temperature. I really had no interest in knowing what went on below the surface of one's skin.

As the sound continued a side bar lit up on the left side of the screen and a series of symbols began populating. When the transmission ended Gikvaris removed the mask, fidgeting with a series of pressure pads and levers on the inside of the mask that were aligned to his mandibles, those lethal appendages that were weapons, communicators, and a second set of hands. I rested against Gikvaris as he worked over my shoulders, his rubbery coils spilling down over my chest. I desperately wanted to close my eyes and succumb to my exhaustion, comforted by the heat of his hide and the soothing rhythm of his rising and falling chest and the heart within it that balanced and centered me like a metronome.

Gikvaris placed the mask back over my face but this time the screen was dark gray, no longer in vision mode. When Kyhemeda's transmission began a line appeared horizontally across the screen, its rising and falling synchronized by the clicking of his message. I suppose there was an audio analyzing function to this mask, which was both amazing and terrifying at the same time. Words I could understand played behind Kyhemeda's message, faint and distant but still recognizable. Because there were Yautja words that had no human translation there were segments in his message that were broken, but I gleaned enough to understand the overall message; one I soon realized was so important to Gikvaris that I hear with my own ears – a message he knew that because I was so stubborn his simply relaying it would not suffice.

I laid my hands over Gikvaris' and pressed down. He removed the mask and I stepped away from him, resting my hand on the back of his chair. When I finally sorted through the chaos of my thoughts I looked at him, but my mind didn't know where to start. Of course he had already heard Kyhemeda's message so there really wasn't much to say.

One thing I knew for sure is that Gikvaris was a sly little devil and Kyhemeda was sharp enough to operate in equal ambiguity. Kyhemeda's request for information on the human female anatomy would have been rather suspicious since he had no human mate or pet to justify such a request so instead Kyhemeda masked his request through a member of an allied clan who feigned owning a human with a condition similar to mine. After Kyhemeda's Yautja liaison successfully communicated with Vik'var'is he reported to Kyhemenda that Vik'var'is – the only Yautja in our clan who was the overlord of all medical data and technology - had no record of a human with a womb injury to correlate. Yautja liaison was so bold as to follow in reply that the human in which he spoke of was quite infamous among the allied clan as she (me!) had quite the reputation of being outspoken to another allied clan leader (I can only assume he was implying my spat with Suon'var) and was currently in the possession of an equally infamous Arbitrator. Again, Vik'var'is reported that no information was available and that to his knowledge no such human had ever existed among our clan.

Kyhemeda also reported that since receiving his confidant's message that Vik'var'is took to several meetings with several Elders – meetings which Kal'ar usually presided over but was absent during these - and that all files in the clan database not relating to off-ship excursions went offline for two days. Kyhemda compared the database files before and after going offline and several paths of the mainframe no longer existed. They weren't just restricted, but erased.

Whatever happened between bleeding out in front of Kyhemeda's door and waking up in the clinic with V at my side was being buried, but if there was anyone who could tap into the mainframe and access fragments of the data Vik'var'is attempted to erase, it was V. And my concerns and burning questions would have to wait for now until I reached him. I would also have to hope that Vik'var'is wouldn't start trying to eliminate any connections to what happened in the clinic and consider V one of those connections. I would have to _pray_ that Vik'var'is wouldn't start jumping to conclusions and grow suspicious that it was a member of his own clan seeking the information, not an allied clan, and start connecting the dots.

I gave Gikvaris a nod before turning and leaving, aware that he probably wanted to discuss Kyhemeda's message now that I heard it but I couldn't barely form thoughts let alone words. I returned to the room alone and crawled onto the bed and back under the layer of furs that had lost their warmth in my absence. I closed my eyes expecting sleep to take over, but it didn't. My brain wouldn't turn off and all I heard over and over again was Kyhemeda's message. I couldn't help but feel I had been duped, though to what I wasn't quite sure. The moment my brain made a connection it slipped away from me. The pieces wouldn't fit together, no matter how hard I tried to jam them into place. Aside from being alone in the room I felt alone inside of myself. No matter how tightly I curled into a ball and held myself I wanted more than anything to just be held. I wanted Kch'lo, but even thinking about him brought a crippling pain to my heart. That was still unchartered territory, but I wanted him to wrap me in those big arms, purr for me, and then when I had my shit together provide a different sort of distraction. So many unanswered questions; so many that would keep me from sleep tonight.

Hours later Gikvaris returned to the room. I still hadn't fallen asleep but my body was at least at rest now. He said nothing as he lowered himself onto the floor, taking my corner spot like the gent he was. More than anything in the world I wanted to be like him. To be Yautja so that I could beat the shit out of my problems before putting an end to them in whatever manner of gore suited my mood. I'd give anything not to think about things that were out of my control. If my problem didn't back off on account of my warning growl I would let out a ferocious snarl and wrap my arm around it's waist before dragging it down the hall and hurling it across the room. Instead my problem(s) were doing just that to me and I was powerless to stop them.

* * *

 **Home.** I made it and oddly enough in one piece. I don't know if it was just coincidence or another one of Gikvaris' strategic operations that when we docked in the loading bay mostly every other Yautja on the ship was asleep. The only Yautja to greet us was the eta that assisted all of Gikvaris' warriors-in-training to unload their crates and trunks. It was comforting to know that if their bags were leaving the transport ship it meant that Gikvaris would be around a little while longer. It also meant Gikvaris might actually follow through on his word to train me and Cz'ha as I hadn't been physically able to before returning to the clanship.

Walking down the hall toward Kch'lo's quarters felt as foreign as opening my eyes to behold a fully armored humanoid leaning over me after being abducted and dropped in the woods. It felt strange walking alone toward a room I shared with my mate knowing that the room would be as empty as the stretch between it and the loading bay. Even more alien was the lack of guardedness my body instinctively responded with when walking through the halls of this ship; a sure indication that I wasn't anything like the woman that had first arrived on this ship. That woman I knew so well was gone but the adventure was in discovering who exactly the woman was walking down this hall now.

There were no eta passing by, their heads bowed and their eyes turned down in aversion; no Elders to issue rumbles while their pupils narrowed into pinheads in response to the disdain they harbored for me; no clan leader with an intense glare that conveyed his disapproval of my coupling with Kch'lo; a coupling he considered a betrayal as if I could have chosen otherwise, yet had been entirely his doing. And the irony in my notice was the lack of anxiety that rose to meet my thoughts. I was no longer trying to compartmentalize my fears and my doubts in an effort to prove that I was immune to 'ooman weakness'. It had taken a long time to realize that falling into the role of the damsel in distress relying upon the wavering affections of a male savior was more dangerous than the actual peril I wanted to be saved from. They could click their tusks, narrow their eyes, grunt, rumble, and snarl all they wanted now. I didn't need them or their 'benevolent mercies'. Though I wouldn't know exactly how Kch'lo's new position, if he accepted, would affect me it did teach me one thing: he had set me up with a life of freedom. A silent concession of course, but the message wasn't lost on me. He deliberately failed to give me instructions, orders, or limitations in his absence. I could be horribly wrong, but I had the feeling his making such a fuss in staking a claim to me only to loosen the leash was another one of those subliminal messages he liked sending to his brother and the rest of the Elders. Maybe deep down, buried underneath an Arbitrator's rank and hidden under a regal purple robe, Kch'lo was a radical who used ownership of a human to demonstrate his refusal to conform and his desire for change. At least that's what I hoped was going on behind those pale grey eyes of his. Maybe he was tired of his clan being so guarded and primitive in the wake of a deteriorating culture while clans like Chakuube's were flourishing in spite of it; making peace with the fact that their female counterparts were nearly extinct and that looking to humans to solve their evolutionary dilemma didn't carry the stigma they were so vigilant to avoid.

I stood at the door a great while before entering, deep folds of darkness pulling at me before the overhead lights flickered to life. I sat down on the bed, my mind completely quiet, but my body refused to enter a state of rest despite an atmosphere created to induce one. I left the room and went to the common room, but I wasn't brave enough to open its doors and feign the sort of joy Ayida and the girls expected from me. The truth was that there was nothing to be joyful about. The only anchor holding the sanity of my soul intact was my intended revenge, but apart from needing to spill Dalani's blood I wasn't sure what, if anything, would truly make me happy. I was content, but not 'happy'. Not by a long shot. Both emotions were vastly different but equally powerful. As long as I was content I wouldn't spiral into an abyss of hopelessness again, but that didn't keep me from wanting to pursue the sort of joy that shone through the darkness of our circumstances that Ayida possessed and what drew me to her like a moth.

So I went to the only other room on the ship where I wouldn't have to sit in absolute silence or have to disguise the legion of conflicting emotions that were warring with one another beneath the surface of my skin. I might not have the pleasure of engaging in any earthshattering revelations or theological discussions to distract the circus going on inside of my head - in fact, conversation would be about as scarce as a Yauja in a good mood - but silence was not the same as solace and it would be the only place my body would find a few hours of repose while I prepared my mind and spirit for the work ahead of me.

When the door opened I had already prepared and braced myself for the disapproving look that greeted me. I didn't expect him to open the door and step to the side to let me in straightaway so his massive form blocking my entrance came as no surprise. I didn't even try to play coy or offer a demure quip to excuse my uninvited and most likely inappropriate visit. The look that greeted _him_ was one of pure and raw emotion, similar to his own if a Yautja was even capable of making such a facial expression. Or perhaps I was just projecting emotion onto him to make his alien origins more agreeable. I was one thread away from unravelling and there was no point in trying to pretend otherwise. Loneliness had a way of doing that to me, adding intensity to an already intensely busy mind. It couldn't be helped. I happened to be of a species that was immensely social and being a Lone Wolf wasn't my strong suit.

"Have own quarters," he said in a growling exhale.

There was no subsequent rumble so I knew at the very least he wasn't _angry_ with my knocking on his door. Displeased? Sure. The expression was painted across his face. Or maybe it was stained? But annoyance was worlds apart from anger. Anger had the potential to be deadly. Especially when it was a Yautja that was angry. They were much harder to reason with than the average angry human. But I had learned that the easiest way to sluff off at least _his_ displeasure was to be direct because there was nothing like going around in word circles to turn displeasure into the sort of anger that sent an otherwise lifeless arm propelling forward to knock my ass down on the floor.

"Don't want to be alone." I shrugged. Being direct was easy for me because I was a firm believer that even though the truth was ugly it was tremendously simple. No cutting through the red tape of emotions or constructing pretexts to validate rationale: just unabridged honesty.

He shook his head as if dismissing whatever response he was near to verbalizing before disappearing into the darkness of his room. I slipped through the narrow space of the door and its alcove before sealing it closed behind me. I was aware of the impropriety my presence in his room presented. Gikvaris was a Yautja with more honor in his little finger than most Yautja possessed within their entire bodies, but that didn't mean he was immune to Yautja gossip. But immune or not, ultimately any whispers that began to circle on account of my shacking up in his room despite having a mate Gikvaris was more than capable of snuffing them out. And not with heated words or warning growls. I was sure he would quite literally snuff out the source of any such whispers – and the head connected to that gossiping tongue - with his weapon of choice: his plasmacaster.

Familiar with the layout of his quarters I followed the light emanating from his trophy room, my steps unhampered by any objects hidden in darkness. I was insanely jealous that Gikvaris appeared to have liquid crack running through his veins; that perhaps that fluorescent green blood of his wasn't really blood at all but radioactive waste which attributed to his inhuman strength and intelligence. It just had to be…he never seemed to need sleep regardless of how exhausting his own daily regimen was or the Yautja he looked after. And of course looking after me had to be exhausting.

I lowered myself onto the floor next to him, sitting rather than imitating his low crouch while he polished his trophies. He wasn't wearing his usual armor plating, separate but interconnected and fastened by straps and clamps, but had ditched them in an effort to dress more casual, wearing nothing but his net suit, loincloth, and wrist gauntlets. Even wearing no more than the barebones of his armor he was as much the terrifying assassin he was now as he was in full armor. If anything I would rather stumble into a fully armored Gikvaris than come across him while he was crouched over the prolific evidence of his brutal abilities. Well, if I was anyone else that's what I would prefer. Because I knew Gikvaris now and watching him tend to his trophies with ritualistic precision was actually as soothing for me as it was for him. If he wasn't doing this (and he did with regularity) he was inspecting, cleaning, and polishing his weapons. Both hobbies were a go-to for him whenever he needed to clear his head and a hunt just wasn't practical. So here he was in the latest of hours, keeping his hands busy while his mind brooded on something not fit for idle hands, and I was right beside him. We were two peas in a pod and maybe, just maybe, that's why he had taken such a liking to me in the first place. We were different species but we had kindred spirits. His initial irritation with me was just his way of adjusting to the fact that he had encountered a kindred spirit in whose host happened to have the body of a 'tiny ooman' instead of a mighty Yautja. And even now I think my physical appearance was still the jarring contradiction to his expectations it was then.

I watched him buff his collection of polished bone one by one, setting them down in a semicircle in front of him so that each was within reach of his perfecting touch; close enough that as he dusted and buffed the skull in his hand he could intermittently glance down at the next and take note of the imperfection – whether it was dust or fissures of age - that he would work out in short order. I watched him polish all eight of the skulls over the span of several hours before he brought them back to his trophy room one by one and returned them carefully to their place on the wall before gathering the next cluster of bones in line for the next round of cleaning. Gikvaris returned to his crouch, placing his left elbow on his thigh as he decided whether to work his way from the left or from the right. A soft yawn escaped me and with a deep stretch I bolstered myself up off of the floor and sauntered over to his bed. Though I wasn't going to snuggle up in the corner of his room as I had in the beginning of our journey from Yaut I also wasn't about to go spread-eagle with my legs and arms in the center of his bed which would send a clear message that one was a party and two was a crowd – me being the 'party' and him obviously being the 'crowd'. I wasn't bleeding anymore and so I no longer had a valid excuse in hogging the best seat in the house. So instead I settled myself at the foot of his bed, aware that I could probably get away with sneaking in a few minutes of sleep before he climbed into the bed and gave my ass the boot.

I fell asleep to the sound of the gentle rubbing of cloth against bone and the intermittent lower tusk clicking of resultant satisfaction. It was worlds better than the stifling silence of Kch'lo's room; the kind of silence that was so thick it was suffocating. The next time I opened my eyes the dimly lit room was now a sea of white light and to my surprise I hadn't woken up in a heap on the floor. Gikvaris was standing in his armory assessing his neatly placed weapons, staring intensely at them as if suspicious his precious collection had in some way been violated by an intruder. Or perhaps he just genuinely liked admiring what had taken hard work and great sacrifice to attain through status. It was an impressive collection and he had every right to just stand there and bask in the glory of his triumph. I was sure that just as every trophy brought back welcomed memories of the challenge each presented his weapons brought back even greater memories in how he had met that challenge and prevailed.

Feeling as though I had impeded his usual solo regimen long enough and that he probably wanted to enjoy as much of it before returning to the duties of his Yautja daycare I left the room without disturbing his careful inspection. I was in better spirits now that the ship was alive and awake, the hallways no longer destitute and the floors back to vibrating from the powerful, churning engines below that no longer allowed the ship to drift but propelled it forward to wherever the hell it was headed now. Before I could see Ayida who would distract me from tending to important matters I instead went in search of V. He was exactly where I suspected he would be: in the loading bay performing a slew of diagnostics on the scout and transport ships.

Not having the same keen sense of smell as my Yautja companions he had no idea of my presence until I reached out and touched his shoulder. He turned his head and his thin, pale lips curled into a smile. He opened his arms to embrace me but rather than greet him with a light, disingenuous hug I threw myself into his arms and bear-hugged him. I didn't realize how much I actually missed the hunk of silicone encased metal until I was wrapped in the folds of his arms; the temperature of his skin acutely programmed to mimic that of a human's to further disguise his artificialness, all in an effort to make humans more comfortable in his presence.

"You look well." V reared his head back to look at me but I wasn't ready to pull away from him just yet. I missed being so near to something and not being assaulted by its foreign smell which was a constant reminder that I was in the company of a superior alien species. V had no scent at all unless he were to be opened up and the wires of his innards snipped to release the coolants coursing through them.

"I am well." I finally pulled away and smiled, taking his hands into mine. "And how are things here?"

V's affable expression waned, but he did not allow whatever dark thoughts my question had invoked to bleed out into his firm posture. Still holding onto my hand he turned me with him and lead me out of the loading bay, obviously wishing to speak with me in an area with less traffic; less creatures with the uncanny ability to eavesdrop without intentionally doing so.

We went to Kch'lo's quarters and sat before the large windowed wall; a place of complete privacy that none would enter without Kch'lo's express permission or invitation. He wasted no time in answering the question I had asked twenty minutes prior; no convivial small talk to warm me up to the grand finale.

" _'_ _Things',"_ he began, quoting my earlier summation of clanship affairs, "have not been well since your departure. The deal struck between Suon'var and Kal'ar has been unfruitful. Suon'var has yet to produce a Yautja female…Apparently she is loath to leave her clan to become the mate of a clan leader with less experience than her own. It goes without saying how such a thing would sour Kal'ar's overall mood considering the pressure placed on him to produce a Firstborn."

I shrugged. It was hard to pity the poor bastard when he had been so pitiless toward me.

"Dozens of women have been added to the common room, but the vast majority are resistant to the idea of breeding; going so far as to harm themselves or lash out at a potential mate. Relations between Yautja and humans have been strained, leading Yautja to be more forceful with their handling…Less inclined to bridge the gap between their respective species or resist engaging in primitive mating practices with them. The tension is palpable, Exia. The Elders have discussed introducing the use of sedatives to keep the women in a more compliant state both before and during their pregnancy to prevent stress from preventing successful gestation or from harming the pups during it. The common room is more of a prison than the reprieve you remember it as."

He was right. The common room had been an escape for me while waiting to hear what would become of me after learning I was useless as a bearer. "V…I haven't even been gone that long…" What the hell had turned an otherwise agreeable atmosphere on its axis in the span of a few months?

"This is not unusual," V replied. "Such measures are quite a common practice among other clans."

I shook my head. Something about what he said struck a deep chord within me. Something about chalking up what had transpired and what was currently happening between Yautja and humans as 'common'.

"No, V. It's not. If you could have seen the humans that belonged to the Halkrath clan you wouldn't think that _any_ of what you just told me is 'common." No. What those females had been given was a pass from living out their lives in a sterile room and a one-way ticket to an all-inclusive tropical paradise with an endless buffet, but without all the mosquitos and sunburn. Fuck, they basically even had knitting classes.

"What do they expect? Plucking women from an existence they thought was limited to Earth and then dropping them into confinement before an alien species asks them to spread their legs and pop out their alien pups? They're starting out on the wrong foot, V. But using sedatives on them? Do they think that will help in giving them strong pups? Really?"

V patted my thigh and inhaled; his bionic chest rising with the same draw of breath as any human plagued by a lack of answers. I had to accept that while V knew an exponential amount about Yautja and any other subject for that matter, he would never penetrate the intricate web surrounding Yautja rationale. And neither would I. All we could do was speculate.

I laid my head back against the sofa and shrugged. "Well…while we're on the subject of a breakdown in Yautja and human relationships…I think I'm about to have my own."

"I am aware that the Yautja Ancients have made an offer to Kch'lo…Or have at least entered into discussion with him."

"I didn't mean just Kch'lo." While I did want to prick V's engineered brain about that it would have to wait. "V…What happened in the clinic after His'tgar attacked me?"

V craned his neck and I met his curious stare. "It is as I have told you: Vik – "

"I know what you told me, but I want to know more about it. Were you with me in the clinic the entire time? Did you have access to Vik'var'is' reports or logs?"

V laughed lightly. "Exia...Even if I was permitted to access such information, what would have been my reason for doing so? I was provided as merely a translator for you."

I sat up straight and narrowed my eyes. He was dodging me. The sneaky little bastard was dodging me. I didn't even think he was capable of doing it, either. I underestimated him and if I had done so in something as simple as this what else had I underestimated? He never skirted around a direct question before, instead firing back indiscriminate answers to my questions like a furious game of ping pong. But he had just blatantly ignored both questions by posing one of his own.

"Were you in the clinic with me the entire time?" I didn't try to soften my tone. I wanted him to be aware of just how serious he should be taking me.

"Of course not, Exia. During the transfusions I was not permitted to sit with you. I am not privy to Yautja medicine. You must remember that the Yautja do not trust androids, Exia. They have no way of proving or disproving whether or not I am able to communicate with other androids, whether within close range or at great distances. They do not trust that I would not disseminate such information to my makers, Exia. I was designed by humans to serve humans."

There was an iota of truth in what he said, but I didn't believe that the Yautja were not fully aware of his capabilities before allowing him into their presence. V was not and would never be permitted to take a tour of the wealth of technology stowed in every level and every compartment of the ship. Fuck, neither was I and I had connections. He was even supervised while performing simple diagnostic tests on their ships and intermittently checked for any stored data V's manual purging might have missed. They were meticulous with him whenever he performed services for them, but I knew it wasn't beyond V's ability to find a way of tapping into their network without the Yautja taking notice he had accessed it.

"I need you to do something for me V, but we'll discuss it when the time is right. Right now I want you to perform a few tests on me."

Yeah. Like I was a scout ship, except he wouldn't be searching for anomalies in electronic schematics but anomalies in female anatomy.

"Tests? Are you ill? Shall I take you to the clinic?"

"No." I couldn't help frowning. "No more clinic." _Ever_. "I am sure you possess some knowledge of human anatomy and have the capability of – "

"Exia…Do you assume when my makers designed me they had the idea of a mobile medbay in mind?" He smiled, perhaps amused I had concluded as much, but I hadn't.

"No. But you have knowledge of the medbay's equipment. I know you do."

V nodded. "That is correct."

"Gikvaris' transport ship has a medbay." There was no way in hell I was going to sneak myself and V into the clinic. It was likely under surveillance or just plain ole booby-trapped.

"May I ask why you are being so evasive in whatever it is you wish me to diagnose?"

"Remember that part about discussing what I need you to do for me when the time is right?"

V nodded. "Understood."

"Now take me to Suharek." I stood up, ready to move onto the next round of business.

"Still seeking to settle old scores?" V laughed lightly and hooked his arm around mine as we left the room. "You may find that you have Suharek's blessing. Dalani is a cancer that must be cut out before it spreads further."

I scoffed. "I guess she hasn't helped in acclimating the newbies, huh?"

"Honestly I do not know the reason Suharek keeps her. I can only speculate that his resolve to keep her is to break her; a point of pride for a Yautja."

"There are some creatures you just can't break." I smiled to myself. Gikvaris knew that better than anyone. And I suppose I myself knew as much in dealing with Gikvaris and Kch'lo.

* * *

 **I waited in the council chamber for Suharek while V** **returned to the loading bay to finish his rounds**. Suharek entered the dim chamber and I rose from my place on the steps leading up to Kal'ar's big ass throne-style chair. Suharek bent his arm and brought his fist to his heart, his ash-colored tresses spilling down around him as he bowed his head before quickly snapping it upward.

"You bring honor to our clan," he said, his human speech much improved since our last conversation in the hall. Said conversation really consisting of my apologizing for tossing Yautja lunchmeat all over his bed. "You have indeed disproved the Elders' theory that it was only natural for you to spare a fellow ooman but were incapable of sacrificing the life of one for a Yautja."

 _Ah. He means Chakuube's pup._

I nodded. As much as I wanted to smile I wasn't going to gloat in what I had done. I hadn't sought honor in doing what I did. Hell, I didn't even know what I was doing at the time except putting a perceived madwoman out of her misery.

"We're not _all_ bad," I said with a hint of jest. "You mustn't let your own personal experience with just one influence your opinion on the rest of us."

I meant The Bitch and he knew it and he didn't do a damn thing about it. No rumbling, no bristling, not even a twitch of a mandible. He was basically giving me the greenlight to drop the subtleties when it came to Dalani.

"The Elders are curious as to why you turned down Chakuube's offer to join his clan. Such an arrangement would have made you whole again."

"These days I am much more interested in collecting trophies than I am in sitting in a room with a bunch of moody pregnant oomans." Of course that hadn't been the case at all. Those women were probably lovely in their own right; I was the one with the defect. I was the one that was flawed and conceivably unbearable to be in the company of.

"Those days are now passed, h'ko? With Kch'lo shifting his role from Arbitrator to that of Ancient?"

It didn't surprise me that Suharek knew so much about what had transpired after Kch'lo and I had left the clanship. There was a ton of shit Kch'lo did in his time away from me and since he didn't give me a rundown of his solo activities each night he returned to the room I easily assumed and accepted that what he didn't share with me was none of my damn business. So Kch'lo and his Elder pup had communicated at some point after we settled on Chakuube's clanship. Again, no surprise there. I had even seen Gikvaris checking his Yautja email and _he_ was a Yautja with few friends and zero pups. I could have gotten caught up in how sweet or cute it was that Kch'lo maintained contact with his pup, but again I had that terrible habit of equating their behavior to mine. I was sure I would never see Suharek mailing Kch'lo a Father's Day card or Suharek receiving a birthday card.

"Perhaps I should have been more specific." I sat back down on the steps and clasped my arms around my knees. "I am much more interested in collecting _a trophy_ than I am in sitting in a room with a bunch of moody pregnant oomans."

Suharek trilled. "And you seek my permission in doing so?" He clicked his tusks, his eyes widening in amused anticipation.

"Although I was informed that Yautja do not interfere with 'ooman squabbles'…sei-i. I am requesting your permission. Despite never having been afforded the same I do respect you grumpy Elders. And I especially do not wish to start another war with an Elder….Though I don't know what else would be worth taking from me at this point."

He clicked his mandibles and chirred softly, appreciative of my reverential sentiment while at the same time somewhat sympathetic to the agony of its truth. "Do not need permission, but do have consent."

It was time to cut the cancer out.

"I desire to fight dtai'k-dte _only_."

"Has Kch'lo agreed to your taking such a gamble with your life?"

A devious smile escaped me because even if Suharek felt compelled to inform his Sire of my intention to play Russian roulette with his 'property', Kch'lo was not within reach. Not just because he was miles upon miles away, but because Kch'lo was literally not within range of Suharek's or any other's technology.

"It isn't a gamble," I corrected him, "if victory is a sure thing."

Again Suharek trilled, but I suspect that it was more in pleasure that Dalani didn't have a prayer more than him being amused at my being so bold. And believe it or not I was getting better at decoding their bodily responses and so my suspicion was only confirmed when he didn't take offense at my basically promising to relieve him of his mate.

"I don't know how all of that gets arranged…Truthfully I was just planning on walking up to her, handing her a weapon, and getting down to it right then and there. But somehow if the entire clan isn't watching I just don't think it will be as meaningful to me. I want everyone to see the moment I knock the 'worthy ooman' down from her high pedestal. Me…the one no one believed had an ounce of strength in her."

That was also another terrible habit of mine: word vomiting. But I only did that in the company of those I felt relaxed around which said a great deal about mine and Suharek's relationship, even if it had only been forged on account of sharing a mutual bane of existence.

Suharek shifted his weight to one side. "Will arrange….but you may find your spectators are more interested in watching one ooman destroy another than an ooman avenging herself." He was obviously alluding to how strained things were between Yautja and humans at the moment.

"I promise…When I'm done sucking out the poison that's infected this clan I'm going to turn things around." I had to. It was probably her fault things had gone south and the last thing any of us women needed was the Yautja pointing fingers. Or guns.

Suharek's head tilted. "Sei-i? How?"

"I'm going to convince each and every one of you that keeping female oomans confined to a single room with limited excursions to the dining hall while keeping them pregnant year round, year after year, just isn't the way to keep them or _you_ happy. Because having nothing to look forward to but the same old boring routine is actually worse than waking up to discover you've been kidnapped by aliens."

"And what do you propose?"

 _I can't believe he's actually fucking listening to me._

"I have a few ideas in mind…How much time have you got?"

Suharek approached the steps and gently lowered himself into a crouch, disinclined from joining me on the steps. Even though he carried himself with more pomp than a peacock he didn't lose an ounce of superiority while crouching down in the same fashion as the clan's younger warriors.

"I have been alive for nearly five centuries. I suppose that leaves me with a few more."

I smiled. "N'got. Then you've got oodles of time."


	25. Chapter 25 - Scores

**Switching things up here a bit. Responses to reviews (regardless if I've responded in a pm) are at end of this chapter and that is where they will be from now on.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of the Preds/Alien world and don't make a penny in writing this story...Still don't.**

 ******** Obviously I, myself, have rated this story 'M'. If you aren't of legal age, kindly hit the back button or just wait for another chapter update. Skip this one. ************

 **A/N: If you haven't learned by now that I am a slow builder, you will now. I have an agenda and a million and one sub plots I need to work into the bigger picture. I leave you at the precipice of violence though. But what is always before violence? Yep, you guessed it. A three-letter word.**

* * *

 **"Pauk!"**

Cz'ha snarled while shoving me away from him, cupping the three inch long gash I had just carved into his inner right thigh.

"Pauking c'jit!"

Not only had he broken the rule of only speaking to me in my native tongue, he was now cursing at me. In his native tongue. And his eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. But being that Gikvaris was close by I didn't slink away even if it was likely Cz'ha's tirade would send him springing into retaliatory action.

"Fucking shit? Did you just call me a 'fucking shit'?"

Cz'ha lifted and angled his hand, his palm dripping in thick, green blood. He flicked his hand and the blood splattered against the mat before he hunched his shoulders and lowered his head. Yeah, he was planning on getting even. I didn't blame him. I would want to do the same.

Whenever Gikvaris charged at me every muscle in my lower body strained to keep my bladder from emptying itself on the spot. With Gikvaris I would down and brace for impact even though I was well aware that Gikvaris wasn't using even a quarter of his strength against me. But whenever Cz'ha charged at me I wasn't immediately clubbed over the head by the stupidity in my choice to willingly spare with an alien species. Cz'ha was more slender and much lighter than Gikvaris. Crab-like face and green hide aside, sparring with Cz'ha was like boxing with a six foot, two-hundred pound man. Not as intimidating as entering the ring with a three hundred pound – more likely four hundred pound - samurai.

As Cz'ha barreled toward me now, instead of dropping down onto my knee I stepped to the side and let him whiz by me and brought my combistick down like a hammer against his back as he sailed past me. He was young and inexperienced Yautja which was the only reason I was able to go toe-to-toe with him for such great lengths of time. In time Cz'ha would get the added height and weight he needed to totally fucking crush me, but for now I would have my fun with him. One day things would be different between us. I would be as cautious of him as I was of any other Blooded Yautja so I wanted to enjoy the simplicity of our somewhat equaled physical prowess while I still could.

When he whirled around I met the side of his face with my combistick which didn't seem to faze him in the slightest. He continued trying to get his hands on me, refusing to use a combistick as he preferred using his hands as weapons. Boy did that give Gikvaris a long, drawn out trill. Youngins: can't tell them nothin'. He was slow and clumsy, not having perfected stealth and agility yet, and so I danced around him in flips and cartwheels. Not because it was a part of my training but because I enjoyed mocking him by doing so. I was calling attention to his slow, languished movement by giving him a performance worthy of Cirque du Soleil. And the longer I evaded his grasp the more his budding agitation physically transformed his features.

But being young and full of testosterone meant that I should have expected he would take shortcuts to victory. Instead of adhering to basic sparring etiquette he tapped into the sort of rage I would expect from a rutting Yautja and lunged at me, mandibles flaring and fists flailing. Gikvaris barked out in warning at him but Cz'ha had passed the point of no return. The point where not even the threat of having his hunt master's clawed foot shoved up his ass mattered. Within seconds Cz'ha had his hand wrapped around my throat and pushed his full, crashing weight against me. I tumbled beneath him and the exact moment I hit the mat with a hard thwack he swiped my combistick out of my hand and sent it clattering across the floor. He pinned my left shoulder down and placed his fingers snug around my throat; tight enough to make me feel a hot pressure fill my face but not tight enough to crush my trachea.

"Concede," he rumbled.

His face was inches above mine. I could literally feel the heat of his rumble pouring out of his mouth like steam from a dragon; see every speckle in each of his narrowed, honey brown eyes.

"Not in your lifetime, _pauking c'jit."_ I jutted my chin out at him.

Technically I _should_ have conceded given our positions, but his hadn't been a fair victory and because of that I just couldn't. I might regret my decision when I woke up the next evening, but this toddler Yautja had another thing coming if he thought dishonorable means brought honorable rewards.

"Lou-dte," he hissed.

Boy, I had really hit a nerve but now he hit one of mine. I could have overlooked that female slur if Cz'ha had not specifically used it knowing full and well I was not a 'child bearer'.

"Don't be mad that the only way you're gonna get a female on her back is by doing a fucking lariat on her."

Too fired up to take notice of my hands I slipped one between the straddle of his legs and dug my thumb into the weeping rivulet in his thigh. The pain successfully served to divest his fingers from around my throat and I gave his own throat a nice palm thrust before mustering every ounce of strength in my thighs to send him into a backwards sprawl.

"Pauking c'jit." I hopped up onto my feet and wiped the sweat off of my forehead, not sure if it was from the steam of his breath or from my own physical exertion.

I headed off of the mat and replenished myself with as much water as my body would tolerate before my stomach threatened to upheave the contents I had just forced down into it. I dumped the rest of the water into my hand and splashed it against my neck and chest to cool myself off.

When I heard gravely growling in between intense clicking I turned my attention back to the mat. Gikvaris appeared to be admonishing Cz'ha and it obviously had something to do with me because every time Gikvaris pointed his talon-tipped finger in my direction it seemed to send a wave of shame over Cz'ha that animated in the form of a bowed head. I cared for Cz'ha and so I wanted to afford him some shred of dignity as his master tore into him. Shit, I knew the feeling. So I turned on my heels and left the kehrite so that he could suffer Gikvaris' wrath without an audience, hoping Cz'ha would see the gesture as a peace offering and that at the very least his grudge wouldn't last past supper.

"Ex-see-ah!"

I whipped around and froze in place as Gikvaris burst out of the kehrite doors and made his way over to me. I figured it was my turn now but he didn't break out into a firestorm of harsh criticism or stern warning even though I could actually see it brimming in his eyes. I don't know why he didn't relent and just hand me my own ass as I had come to expect after each of mine and Cz'ha's training sessions. We were either clowning around or fucking up, both of which pissed Gikvaris off, royally. Fucking perfectionist.

"I know…It was a dick move of me to jam my finger in his leg, but he knows exactly how to get under – "

"Tiny ooman does not fight. Tiny ooman plays. Taunts Cz'ha. Expects him to obey rules while she breaks."

He ignored my gaping mouth and continued.

"Tiny ooman shames her master. Give her equal adversary but regards him as no better than asegian."

"Not true!" I retorted angrily to his second accusation. Couldn't help if he felt I had shamed him, but I most definitely did not consider Cz'ha an asegian.

"Issue challenge to Cz'ha as though he were eta, unable to meet. Cz'ha is more than able to meet challenge."

"What?" I squinted. "The _fuck_ are you talking about?"

Gikvaris slid his pointer finger underneath my chin and lifted my face to his as if examining me. "Forget incident with Kal'ar and washroom door so soon?"

I smiled but the reptilian-like flicker in his eyes devoured any budding humor.

"Cz'ha still young. Has worse temper than Kal'ar. More determined to prove worth. Will meet challenge without thought of tiny ooman's honor or Kch'lo's anger."

"Gik…" My eyes were wide enough to sufficiently indicate I wasn't following him.

In a rumbling exhale he clarified it for me: "Larry-at."

I fought the urge to smile at his pronunciation of the word I had used with Cz'ha on the mat, but I did understand the threat in Cz'ha misconstruing my shit-talking as an outright challenge. I certainly didn't want to be the female he had to 'lariat' before drilling into with reckless abandon.

"Man…those Un-blooded sure need to be handled with a great deal of care, huh? Fucking emotionally fragile bastards."

Gikvaris chucked me under the chin and stepped back, effectively severing the thick tension between us. "Mocking a Yautja is foolish. Mocking a Yautja's virility…messy."

"You mean Cz'ha's? Because I specifically remember the 'small feet, small dick' joke I told you and you didn't get all bent out of shape and try shoving it down my throat to prove me wrong." I was irritated. I didn't want to be careful with Cz'ha. We were basically the same age and we both had an agenda to prove. We had enough to worry about in pissing off our tightass teacher than pissing off each other.

"Knew tiny ooman was joking."

"Oh, really?" My eyebrow raised itself in suspicion. "So you mean to tell me that if you _didn't_ ….things would have gotten 'messy' for me?" Yeah, I even used my fingers to quote his word choice.

Gikvaris snorted. "H'ko." He extended his arm and grazed his finger against my throat before returning his hand to his side. "Call tiny ooman 'tiny' for reason."

It took a moment for it to hit me, but when it finally did I was more bewildered that he had actually gotten one over on me than I was angry he was basically saying there would be little need in proving me wrong because he _knew_ his dick wouldn't fit in my throat. And because I had just stood there with that same dumbfounded look on my face I worked so hard to see on Gikvaris whenever one of my quips sailed right over his head. Dirty little bastard. Well, maybe not little, but definitely a dirty bastard.

"Goddamn, Gik…Your mind is even dirtier than mine." I scoffed in utter amazement that he had smoothly passed one over on me – that I had seriously even set myself up for him to do it – and turned my back on him and the amused, deeply satisfied trilling that followed mockingly behind me.

* * *

 **"** **Not angry."**

I paused mid-chew and lifted my eyes to the source of the shadow that had fallen over my section of the mess hall table. Ayida and Tiff – a new girl I had really taken a liking to on account of her crudeness and no-bullshit policy – also ceased their grazing as the newcomer stole their attention.

"Egg-see-ah angry?"

I smirked and finished grinding a strip of rjet between the sides of my teeth. "H'ko." I shrugged and pushed my plate toward him. "Hungry?"

Cz'ha took a seat across from me and snatched up a piece of rjet, tossing it into what constituted as a mouth and swallowed the thick strip whole.

"Ayida, Cz'ha." I turned to Tiff and gestured toward her. "Tiff, Cz'ha." They hadn't met before today although they knew his name because they had a habit of prying into my time away from the common room.

"Lou-dtes," I said with a nod to my left and then my right. "Best lou-dtes you'll ever meet."

Though I was putting him on notice that his kehrite insult still had a sting to it I also wanted him to know that being a 'child bearer' should be respected and if he played his cards right I'd pave the way to him snagging one of his own. Tiff was an excellent prospect for him even though Cz'ha hadn't reached Blooded status yet and wouldn't be permitted to approach her. It would give him something to work for while beefing up his street cred – something that was a bit more tangible than a chunk of bone hanging on his wall. If it killed me I was going to set things right between us and the Yautja: the Yautja our captors and we their captive companions. It wasn't going to happen overnight but just as Cz'ha and the rest of his Un-blooded schoolmates needed to be weaned from milk in order to accept the solid food of a kainde amedha chiva, so paving the path to mutual respect between Yautja and humans would take nothing short of the perseverance and patience of human baby steps.

"R'ka," he said.

I looked up while grabbing a piece of naxa out of Ayida's bowl. "Fire?"

He nodded toward Tiff. "Call her 'r'ka'." He then gave a nod toward Ayida. "Lar'jar."

I snorted in amusement. "Dark? You should know that although it's an accurate observation it's probably more of an insult." I glanced over at Ayida who didn't seem bothered by his questionable nickname, but Tiff…she was glaring at him.

"R'ka?" I asked again, my attention on Tiff's rust orange roots that bled down into sun-bleached tresses. Just as Ayida's little nickname had been on account of her smooth, cocoa skin and onyx eyes I believed Cz'ha was referring to Tiff's hair.

"H'ko – " He paused, noticing my upturned eyebrow in response to his breaking our agreement, and corrected himself. _"No."_ He tapped his chest just over his heart and nodded.

Ah. Indeed, Tiff was a little firecracker with her no-nonsense attitude and a mouth that had probably wouldn't know how to handle a filter if it had one.

"What's he sayin'?" Tiff was stiff as a board, ready to lash out at the slightest hint of insult.

"Relax," I said, bumping her shoulder with mine. "He thinks you're…spirited." That was putting it mildly. Bitch had enough heat to rival Yaut's rivers of lava.

"And mine?" I took a sip of c'nlip and smiled. Yeah, I had taken to a nice glass of c'nlip with my dinners these days. I _deserved_ it after a healthy beat down in the kehrite each night and my muscles _demanded_ it. "Do you and your buddies call me 'tiny ooman' behind my back?" They wouldn't dare say it to my face. I let Gikvaris because he was bigger than me; stronger than me. Couldn't get him to call me anything else even if I wanted to. And compared to him I was tiny. Cz'ha? He had about a head on me. Maybe two...and that was being generous.

Cz'ha trilled. "Akrei-non." He raised his fist and abruptly splayed his fingers. "Bomb."

I shot him _the look_ , but instead of trying to smooth my ruffled feathers he trilled again.

"Egg-see-ah angry…explode like bomb." Another burst of throaty trilling until I hurled a piece of rjet at his face and it turned into a startled chirp.

I guess he hadn't forgotten the few times I had blown up on account of something which at the time seemed like the end of the world but now was really a rather laughable matter. I recall with great fondness - and just a twinge of embarrassment - the time Cz'ha and I were clowning around after a productive spar and in an effort to break up the monotony of our afterhours kehrite sessions we decided to veer off the tracks just a tad. Just a tad...

"It's called 'Capture the Flag'," I had told him, shaking the pelt in my hand. "Just imagine it's a flag and your job is to get it before I do."

Cz'ha followed my lead without question, stringing the pelt up in the chamber that held the captive kainde amedha queen hostage before returning to the upper level. Me being me, I thought I would pull a fast one on him and skip finding the most direct path to the drop shaft, adding to the challenge by agreeing that if we crossed paths 'kehrite rules/etiquette' didn't apply. I planned on showing him a thing or two about the advantage to being 'tiny' and so I _thought_ the chute I crawled into would dump me straight into the lower level laundry room. Why did I think this room was a laundry room? What else would you call a room with gigantic vats of boiling water they stuff pelts into? But it didn't dump me there. Instead, I coasted down a metal chute at a ninety-degree angle that wasn't a laundry chute where I might encounter a few rogue pelts avoiding a good scrubbing, but rather I had hurled myself in a giddy frenzy into the garbage chute.

You can imagine my surprise when I finally exited the chute and landed into a heap of Yautja trash. And I don't mean the boneyard of salvaged ship parts they added to with regularity (those were stored in a different compartment – hell, an entirely different level), I mean _trash,_ the kind of shit that was a hemophobia's worst nightmare. It was quite literally a 'boneyard'; the dumping ground for animal carcasses and all the innards they couldn't find a use for. It was by all means a humbling experience. I got a taste of how Suharek must have felt when he tombstoned Dalani and stood up with His'tgar's guts all over him. I literally got a taste of it, though. That shit was in my mouth after plunging and sinking into it after freefalling down a vertical drop.

Even worse than being waist deep in gooey scraps of alien animal flesh or mountains of molding leftovers was that it had taken Cz'ha a good three hours before figuring out where the fuck I had gone. No exit hatch, just a solid container that would eventually compact all of its goodies into a perfectly squared package before the floor opened up and dropped that shit into outer space. The only way out was up – up as in through the hatch in the ceiling that was thirty feet above me. Having had to use his mask to track me (later telling me that he picked up on a heat signature in the mouth of the trash chute and he just _knew_ I would be the only one stupid enough to climb into it) he opened the ceiling hatch and trilled so deeply his thick, rubbery coils jangled like reindeer bells.

After hoisting me up with a rope I had wrapped around my waist he covered me with a pelt – the same pelt I had inserted myself into the chute to take a shortcut in acquiring in the first place. I thought I would be able to put the embarrassing episode behind me until what happened the next evening. Gikvaris had been in a mood and not just his usual sour mood, but the one where he took it out on anything and everything around him. Which included Cz'ha and me. Which meant every time one of us made a mistake in the kehrite he would step in and 'demonstrate', only it was backed by an ardency I couldn't quite put my finger on until….until afterwards I learned Cz'ha had shared the surveillance footage from his mask with Krh'ahn in the mess hall…and that Gikvaris had at some point also seen it and wasn't too thrilled that once again Cz'ha and I were back to clowning around and fucking up…me fucking up a little more than Cz'ha. At least outside of the kehrite.

Falling into a flesh compost pile _and_ Cz'ha sharing the details of it had definitely made me angry enough to explode like a 'bomb'. I had thrown my dinner at him and then the plate it had been on. Cursed at him and threatened to hurl him into the chute and drop his ass and all the dead animal asses he was sitting on into space. There were a few other instances too, but I was female, for crying out loud. I was subject to the same unpredictable tantrums as un-Blooded. And sometimes Elites…Maybe Cz'ha might change his mind on who exactly the 'bomb' was if he had witnessed Gikvaris' meltdown on account of some fucking wires.

I shrugged off some of my more memorable, harebrained moments and put the focus back on getting Tiff and Cz'ha acclimated to each other. Tiff had yet to warm up to the idea of having a Yautja mate though she was aware she had little choice in the matter. Their dually fierce natures were perfectly matched and I was getting a little weary of being the only 'ooman' Cz'ha was agreeable to hanging out with. I was going to broaden his horizon whether he wanted me to or not. And Tiff's. Her horizon was as narrow as a needle.

"Gonna take Tiff to the kehrite with me tonight," I said more to Cz'ha than Tiff. "I'm sure she'd love getting a few pointers from you….seeing how you just _love_ pointing out my areas of weakness." Just like his hunt master.

Cz'ha nodded.

 _Progress,_ I proudly noted to myself. _And baby steps. Maybe baby leaps?_

"Must have friends in high places," Cz'ha said. He wasn't unwise to the Elders quarantining the newest members of their unpredictable harem.

"Nope." I wasn't about to let on to him or anyone else that I was in cahoots with Suharek. At least insomuch as human/Yautja relations were concerned. "I just know what time those cranky Elders like to get some shuteye."

Cz'ha trilled before swinging his legs over the bench and standing up. "Worry less about Elders…More about Elites."

I dismissed him with a wave. "Gikvaris? Pff. I got his schedule down pat. About the time Tiff and I are tumbling across the mat he'll be perched in his trophy room giving his bone collection a good scrubbing. Or tinkering with a perfectly good scout ship _just because."_

"Exia," Ayida intoned cautiously, not a fan of my involving Tiff in anything that might further tip the scales against us. "Remember when we talked about minding your 'p's and q's'?"

"What?" I emptied my cup of c'nlip into my mouth. "Perseverance and…." I looked at Tiff. "What's a good word that starts with 'q'?"

Tiff snickered. "Queef."

Ayida nearly choked on a piece of naxa before spitting it out onto her plate.

"Kweef?" Cz'ha cocked his head to the side and waited for me to translate.

"Forget you ever heard that," I said sharply, jamming my elbow into Tiff's side. I leaned into her ear, lowering my voice. "Unless you feel like demonstrating?"

It took some time for Tiff to remember how the Yautja often required visual explanations and that was all it took for her to purse her lips and shake her head. We picked our plates clean before leaving the mess hall, the tension too thick in the actual 'dining' hall to continue taking our meals at the kiddie table. We made our way back to the common room where I gave those girls willing to listen a lesson in the spoken and unspoken Yautja language. Not a word-for-word translation as I did with Cz'ha, but the guts of what really mattered when communicating with them: say as little as possible as often as possible because if they thought we believed 'actions speak louder than words', the Yautja considered that gospel truth.

V did a good job in making their heads spin with the linguistics of the actual language and it was evident that having one of 'their own' talking them down off of the proverbial ledge was successful in boosting their morale. It turns out that these women were actually willing to work with what they were given; to make the best of their seemingly hopeless situation because in the end you can't drive out a woman's desire to turn a house into a home. Dalani hadn't made things better by scaring them half to death about Elders attacking humans – failing, of course, to mention her part in that - but it didn't take much explaining to convince them that Dalani's perception was skewered. She didn't achieve her goal and rather than conceding to the truth behind her defeat she projected it onto the Yautja, blaming them for her failure to climb the social ladder. Because in her eyes if she hadn't won the rest of the girls didn't have a chance in hell. She grumbled against Suharek, warning them that they, too, would be as miserable as her. I alluded to the fact that Dalani should have considered herself blessed that Suharek dealt with her the way he did. He could have stripped away her freedoms and sequestered her to separate quarters, ignoring her rather than patiently waiting for her to come around, but he didn't. The Bitch was still permitted to roam the ship, coming and going as she pleased. He was a saint, truly. Not that I told them, but all I had done to find myself in chains was _try_ to run away from Kal'ar. Dalani had done that and much more to Suharek and yet he refused to immobilize those ankles of hers in a thin d'lex chain.

I was working hard to remove the wool Dalani had pulled over their eyes by laying myself bare to them and Ayida was there to help. She didn't have the 'freedom' they thought I had, which I promised them was not the sort of 'freedom' any of them would want to pay the price for, but Ayida did have what they could all expect to have with a little patience and understanding. And a shit ton of tolerance. Ayida and Shunlau weren't lovers by a long shot, but they had a mutual respect for each other; Shunlau because Ayida bore him a healthy pup and regarded him in the way a Yautja needs (yeah, they needed _a lot_ of flattery, the kind where one lowers their head to expose a ready, waiting neck, adulating to their dominance which _was_ flattering to them), and Ayida because Shunlau provided for her and would protect her more fiercely than any human mate caught in the throes of a passionate love affair could ever hope to.

And that alone, Ayida and Shunlau's relationship, spoke to the deeply primal need of every female; the need of which was often unmet, rejected, or abandoned by incapable or fickle human men. We were all Ann Darrows and they, the Yautja, were each our own personal King Kong. Granted Ann Darrow and King Kong could never physically consummate their bond, these girls understood my point. There had been a lot of Jack Driscolls to come and go, but Kong was the one who got shit done; who would risk injury to himself rather than see a blond hair on his Ann's head harmed. They, like Kong, would go to any depths and lengths to keep us safe; that's how deep their claim over us went. Men? Pop out a kid or two and within a few years their eyes would go from soaking up the sight of us holding _their_ children in our arms to wandering over the hedges at the chesty neighbor next door. Of course there were always exceptions to the rules, but my point was that we were never going 'home', we were never going to marry that human 'exception to the rule', and we just might find that having a Yautja mate that would take on an entire hive of kainde amedha if it meant sparing their mate an ounce of pain, wasn't so bad after all. And I promised the girls that eventually they would get over the physical appearance of the Yautja. If they thought they had experienced pleasure from a man with only two hands they had no idea what they were in for when they finally experienced the 'hands' of those quivering mandibles. Short, blunt human tongues? The Yautja had tongues that could reach places a tongue had no business reaching let alone being near. And if they thought the 'G' spot was a myth all they needed to do was spread their legs to find out. And I really didn't need to say much about the size of their package. It just went without saying.

Of course I didn't tell them that a good deal of the overbearing, overprotective Yautja tendencies also bled over into every aspect of their lives; that they were as protective of the rjet on their plates as they would be of them, but if they would bite the hand of the one reaching across the table to steal a scrap of food they better believe their Yautja mate would do more than sink their fangs into the one fucking with their mate. It was all par for the course and the prospect of eking out an existence they could not only be content with but mighty actually enjoy was enough to get the wheels in their heads turning; to begin brainstorming their next course of action. Because none of us wanted to see things get _so bad_ that it lead to the use of sedatives. We didn't have rights up here. All we had were vaginas and that alone was the only reason they didn't simply beat the defiance out of us like they did with their Un-blooded, eta, or asegian. Did they strong arm us sometimes? Sure as shit did, but it was oodles better than what men back on Earth did to women they perceived as inferior and in need of a 'good lesson in respect'.

Would a Yautja strike a woman out of anger? Fuck. No. Nearly give them a heart attack by roaring in their faces when they were angry? Fuck. Yes. But it beat getting shiners from a man too big of a pussy to keep from resorting to physical violence in order to assert himself. I'd take the burly, _non-human_ King Kong over the beauty and charm hiding a Staley Kowalski underneath _any day_.

After a brief lesson the girls fanned out in the common room, our united front dissipating as they gathered into huddled cliques. I wasn't going to rag on them about it. I had my own clique: the one that consisted of human Ayida and human Tiff and the one that consisted of male Yautja that to any outsider I had no business being around or even interested in, let alone fucking. I tried desperately to convince Ayida to come with Tiff and I to the kehrite. _She_ was the one I really wanted to get on the mat, but she was a good mom, taking turns with Shunlau looking after their pup – Shunlau getting in some roughhousing with his miniature and Ayida settling him down afterwards for the night.

"When are you going to come and visit him?" Ayida asked, gently placing her hand on my arm before I could slip out of the common room.

The subject was a sore one for me. I had hardened my heart against letting another pup make me question my self-worth. In a universe where being a female revolved around having a functional womb I needed to prove to myself that I was _female_ regardless. And regardless of what truth I found out with V's help, I couldn't let it change that. I wouldn't let it change that. Ayida believed me holding her pup would somehow change my determination which is why she was so persistent about the issue. She didn't want me living the life of a warrior (though I was far from one). She knew how to beat a dead horse. Plus I really think she wanted me to take the pup off her hands a few hours a day so she could nap.

"Soon," I lied.

"Stubborn mule," Ayida muttered playfully, shaking her head.

She gave me a nice shove and we both spilled out into the hallway, I headed to Kch'lo's quarters to suit up and her to her quarters to retrieve a worked-up pup from Shunlau. I was in a particularly good mood; Cz'ha and I were still on good terms, the girls were becoming more optimistic by the day, and Cz'ha was going to join Tiff and I in the kehrite for a nightcap – except without the Cosmopolitans, of course. And my mood went from good to great after my first sparring lesson with Tiff. She was a natural, not that I expected anything less given her personality. Wouldn't surprise me if I bumped into her mother one day and found out that Tiff had literally torn her way out of the womb, too. And Cz'ha? He was impressed. And it was quite possible that if he suspected Tiff would sit sideline and watch the two of us spar he might be disinclined to heed the throes of teenage rage and resort to taking shortcuts on the mat. It would be a good thing for the both of us; me, to give my body an actual chance to heal instead of layering on the pain and numbing it with sleep and c'nlip and Cz'ha because there was coming a day Gikvaris would see Cz'ha's behavior as a slow building pattern rather than an occasional lapse in judgment and would eventually step in to effectively break said pattern. Perhaps another mandible, too.

Although Tiff was eager to get back into the kehrite the next night for a short session Gikvaris switched things up and chose nine of his Yautja students, Cz'ha being the tenth, to stretch their hunting muscles, regardless if they were housed in a metal container for the moment. So far his un-Blooded students had only begun to test their hunting skills in Yaut's jungle, stalking prey while at a prime vantage point with little need to use their bio-mask for anything other than its thermal vision or cloaking mechanism. One day, one of the ten Yautja presently standing around their hunt master eagerly soaking up his rules and requirements, was going to find themselves in an environment with no trees in which to stalk their oblivious prey or they would encounter prey that lacked a heat signature and could, in fact, wind up becoming the hunted rather than the hunter. It was time for them to get used to all of the features of their mask and prepare for being launched into an unfavorable environment. Time to use their Sat-coms.

As I was about to exit the kehrite, knowing this wasn't an arena I could compete with them in, there was enough time between me and the door for me to overhear one of his students question what exactly Gikvaris intended them to hunt and the response Gikvaris gave him: 'tiny ooman'.

Having Gikvaris unleash ten Yautja throughout the clanship with the sole objective of tracking and 'tagging' me to prove they had in fact found me (whatever the fuck that entailed) might have sent me into an indignant outrage of protest a year ago, but the only reaction to the role Gikvaris imparted to me was a grin that ran ear to ear. I was pretty sure I had even seen a momentary flash of regret in Gikvaris' eyes, too, and I suppose that's because he expected me to whine and complain that I would basically spend the night as a sitting duck, not the devious smile that rose to meet his challenge. It was a sure indication that I was cooking up a good amount of mischief for his unsuspecting cubs and that maybe, just maybe, Gikvaris would have to get his hands dirty because I sure as hell wasn't going to make it easy for his overconfident progenies, not even Cz'ha. I'd damn well try to make it nearly fucking impossible.

I had a head start of all but twenty minutes until ten seriously determined Yautja would be hot on my trail. I was wise enough to know that at least half of them, if not all, would assume I was such a simpleton that I would take cover in overly obvious places; barricading myself in a corner, squeezing into one of the narrow nooks of the arches that created sections within the corridors, or burrowing into a floor compartment like some skittish critter. They figured because I was small my options were limited to my size and my line of vision. But I was heaven bound, baby. I headed straight into one of the mess halls, climbed on top of the counter, and unhooked the grate of the heat register before hoisting myself up into it, which made me value upper arm strength and swore to myself that I would work on my lack of having it.

Once in the vent I carefully transitioned myself so that I could crabwalk up the forty-five degree angle, planting the soles of my feet against the slick metal while scooting back in slow, cautious repetitions. It took about a half an hour to shimmy up the angled vent until it ran parallel across the ship. Once I was no longer on an incline I turned onto my belly and used my elbows to drag myself forward. It was hot, humid, and about as dusty as a crematorium, but it was the only way to get to the vertical shaft that ran through each level of the ship right down to the chamber that housed the fusion reactors. The creatures that were stalking me had the advantage of thermal vision, but an advantage was not always an upper hand. I was going to fight fire with fire, quite literally, by disguising the heat of my own body with the heat of the reactor.

If I could actually pull it off I would be a genius, but I was only crawling about a foot every five minutes and I estimated I had at least two yards before I was within eyesight of the shaft. And then there was the shaft itself and its perilous downward climb. If I was lucky I might reach the chamber in a few hours, but that was only if I didn't die from a heatstroke first. I hadn't even made it an hour and I was sweating in places I didn't even know it was possible to sweat from.

Whenever I passed over a return I would take a break and breathe in some of the moving air below me. The air in the ducts was stale and stifling and the dust was fucking horrific, but it also gave me a good opportunity to check out what room I was positioned over and if it was worth my while to lower myself down into it to stretch my legs. Stave off an impending bout of claustrophobic hysteria, too. I was worn out and my energy was nearly depleted. I didn't know if I would have the strength to climb down a three-level vertical drop.

But what I did know was that I was certain the Yautja presently fanned out across the ship in search of me wouldn't even consider looking up over their big heads. They would never suspect my climbing into their ventilation system because really, what idiot would even think about doing that? But if I wanted these Yautja to change their indoctrinated view of humans then I couldn't let them beat me at every turn by being so overly predictable. And I definitely wouldn't have Gikvaris thinking that the most I was good for when participating in his chiva training was easy bait. That I was the sort of chum he would stick in a crab trap.

With a grunt of determination I dug my elbows down against the metal and started heaving myself forward again. Break time was over and I had some serious distance to cover before even considering calling it quits. I lifted my knees as I passed over another grate, my body in a downward dog position, muttering and cursing myself when a loud screech erupted underneath my weight before the grate collapsed and my right calf dropped down. I put all my weight into lurching forward, but my foot was snagged on something and more of my body kept slipping out of the narrow mouth of the heat register. I dug my fingers in and clawed at the metal while kicking my legs against an invisible wall I hoped they would find footing against to keep from slipping out further, but before I even realized what was happening I was completely out of the vent and plummeting toward the floor.

My body went rigid as I braced for the impact of a ten foot drop, expecting to land the wrong way on one of my ankles and effectively hobbling myself for next several months, but instead of clashing against an unyielding metal floor I felt something dig into the front of my suit, keeping my feet suspended three feet off of the floor. I felt like a kid being strung up on the fence by the britches, only my dangling was forward facing. The momentum of my fall paired with an abrupt halt turned my body into an upright, springing buoy. Instinctively trying to displace myself from whatever object I was pinned against, my arms shot out and shoved against this immovable object, planting my feet against it while trying to wedge away from it.

The room was dark but enough light filtered in from underneath the door panel that I caught sight of the subtle yet familiar glint of reflected light, captured in the beveled, black abyss of a Yautja visor. Once my brain registered the origins of its visual focal point it began to connect the rest of the pieces obscured by the overcast lighting. The panic of my fall and subsequent ensnarement subsided, replaced by frustrated annoyance that my body had gone through an exercise in futility and that to add insult to injury I was clearly no longer in danger of crashing violently against the floor but yet here I was with Yautja claws still dug into my suit, keeping me dangled above the floor.

I clamped my hands over his and drove my fingers between them and the fabric bunched within them, becoming more frustrated with every moment that passed that my forceful prying hadn't yielded a release. I grunted angrily and slammed my open palms against his chest, a solitary moment passing between us before the taut fabric at my chest went lax and I glided down onto the floor, losing my footing and tumbling down and back. I planted my hands against the floor behind me, scooting a few inches back just to put some distance between us. Now with a somewhat better view of the figure in front of me it was apparent this Yautja wasn't an Un-blooded, their slim build and noticeably shorter height a dead giveaway. This Yautja was framed like a shit brickhouse and the dull shine of a mélange of rank rings was even further indication he wasn't a low Yautja on the totem pole.

Fucking Gikvaris. I just knew his pupils weren't going to be up for the challenge and that he'd have to show them how it's done.

He sank down into a crouch, resting his elbows on his thighs, probably basking in his triumph though I would never know for certain _what_ was going on behind that mask.

"Asshole," I muttered while dusting the front of my suit off.

He planted his hand against the floor and crept forward, the steady, staccato sound seeping from underneath his mask akin to the echoed rapping of a woodpecker. Terribly frustrated that he was toying with me after yanking me out of the ceiling I moved my mouth to deliver some snappy comment but the voice rising in my throat hitched when his other hand shot out and grabbed hold of my ankle, his fingers curling around before giving it a sharp yank. I slid across the slick floor and came to a stop between his legs, my waist even with his feet. He lowered his mask to my face and I bowed beneath him as he hovered his massive form over me. The sweet oil of his rubbery tresses which were draped down over me, framing my face in velvet tendrils, filled my nostrils with its heady scent. Its familiar scent diffused the stiffness of my startled alarm and I lowered myself the rest of the way against the floor, content with staring up at the black pool of my own reflection that had gathered there.

"Exia."

Hearing my name spoken in that chilling, inhuman voice never ceased to raise the hairs on the back of my neck, but regardless of the mask's ability to distort its wearer's true cadence, there was a disconnect between the association I had formed with the voice of a Yautja I had come to know so well that I could perfect the inflection of his tone in my own head. I also knew the precise manner in which he pronounced the words of my native tongue, the ones he butchered standing out a cut above the rest. Such as 'Larry-at' for 'lariat'. The name that infiltrated my ears was not the 'Ex-see-ah' Gikvaris barked out with a grunt or growl backing its sound – the 'ah' always a pitch higher. My name spoken in _t_ _his_ cadence, a name which Gikvaris had only ever spoken as if in a drawn out exhale, was executed succinctly. There was only one Yautja I had so far encountered who had perfected its 'ooman' complexity.

"Kch'lo?"

I reached my hand toward the masked visage above me, deftly caressing the angled indentation of the mask's cheekbone. The hand resting beside my shoulder imitated the same tender gesture before disappearing into the folds of my hair. I pressed my hand over his, keeping his hand cradled against me as I struggled to keep from being swept away by a violent current of emotion, though there was some small part of me that cried out to cease resisting its pull. Was it him? Could I risk believing he had returned to me? If I dared to hope, dared to disarm my carefully guarded heart - this heart of mine that _ached_ to hear his voice again – and discovered the Yautja hunched over me was but the desperate materialization of my inward pining, I knew I would never recover.

"Exia." The voice pulled me from the fog of my inner turmoil.

I slipped my fingers into the network of tubes connected to his mask, pinching one between two fingers before carefully tugging at it before it disconnected with a brief hiss. I worked them out one by one before gently peeling away the mask, my breath hitched in guarded anticipation, dislodged and ejected only when my disbelieving eyes met the familiar nebulas of pale grey that with even the slightest of narrowing had the ability to render every fiber of my being into complete submission. I shot forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, coiling around him like twisted steel because I was never going to let go of him. He slid one arm behind my knees and draped his other arm around my waist, handling me with such care as he lifted me off of the floor and held me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, crossing my feet at the small of his back as if locking him beneath my hold; a hold he could easily dislodge by merely flexing.

He carried me from the room and out into the hall, the light penetrating the shadows that had kept his identity from me but mere minutes, far too long for a heart that had been yearning to see him at every turned corner; every opening door; every waking moment that lead to further disappointment. His chest rose and fell in steady, unlabored breaths as he carried his ooman bundle down the corridor, a heap of flesh clinging to him with every intention of remaining cemented against him. I didn't know when exactly Kch'lo arrived or how exactly he had gotten involved in Gikvaris' training exercise, or let my mind stew on the fact that he had yanked me down out of the vent just when I had determined myself to reach the shaft without pause, but I knew that as soon as we got back to the room if he thought he was going to saunter over to his armor stand and begin the tedious process of unhooking his metal plating, he didn't have a chance in hell in making it that far. I was going to unthread and unsnap every cord, strap, and latch as he crossed the room, leaving scattered bits of a metal husk in our trail.

Kch'lo carried me into the room and the door hissed closed as quickly as it had sprung open. What would have taken fifty steps for me to reach the bed from the door Kch'lo scaled in twenty, releasing his supporting hold and moving his hands to my waist to push me away from him and down onto the bed, but I refused to budge. I just couldn't tear myself away from him. I was afraid that if I let go some Ancient, pressing business would abruptly take him from me again or worse…that I would open my eyes and find that it had all been a dream, left to wonder if all I would ever have of him was my dreams.

"Exia…" Kch'lo pressed his hand against my cheek, using his thumb to bring my face to his. "Must let go."

I shook my head in a firm 'no' but since he would never use brute force to pry me off he resorted to the sort of subduing that didn't require him to lift a finger: a Yautja purr. I melted like butter against him, these arms of steel liquefying against the heat of his purr so that instead of keeping his body anchored against mine they were now barely holding on and he was slipping out of my weakened grasp. He set me down on the bed gently, intensifying his purr as he pulled away and stood straight, loathe to be apart from me as I from him, but even more loathe to have anything, including the beveled plating of his armor, between us.

Hostage to that endorphin-inducing thrumming I could do nothing but lay in the shadow of his massive form, aware that he caught every stolen glance of mine as he divested himself of each piece of his armor before my eyes darted back to his. When his greaves fell away from his shins, the last of his armor to be stripped away, he lifted and dug his knee against the bed, lowering himself over me before abruptly pausing as if reconsidering.

"What is it? What's wrong?" The concern in my eyes searched for the reason behind his reassessment of whatever exploit he had been moving toward, but enraptured by his steady purr my body didn't feel the usual crippling hold of building alarm.

Seizing me without warning, Kch'lo carried me over to his holographic map table and set me down on its edge, bunching the fabric of my suit in his fists again. I knew that look in his eyes; I had seen it dozens of times shortly before he tore whatever object stood in his way into tatters. It didn't matter if there was an easier way of hurdling said object; if it required him tolerating it a moment longer than it took for him to slice through it with his talons or a similarly apt weapon, Kch'lo wouldn't even consider it.

"Wait, don't – "

Kch'lo gave the fabric a forceful snap so that it broke open just below my throat. He didn't stop there; no, he was thoroughly involved with his dissection of my suit, the challenge of his razored talons against d'lex woven threads too great a temptation to simply allow me to wiggle out of it. He used the snapping strokes of a saw until he had unzippered me from throat to groin, his talon lingering against the fabric that wilted in the wake of his surgical precision, its d'lex fibers no match for a Yautja determined to disrobe his willing and waiting mate.

He lowered his head and gently nipped my shoulder, trilling lightly as I slumped against him in response.

"Wait?"

My diaphragm swelled in spasms of baited breath, preventing the sound of a vehement 'no' from escaping my throat. I shook my head furiously, taking his hand and bringing it back to the tattered fabric so that he could finish peeling the rest of my suit away from me. Fuck the suit. I wasn't planning on wearing it – or anything else – anytime soon. And after Kch'lo and I had made up for lost time, Kyhemeda could make another. And when Kch'lo tore that one in half, Kyhemeda could still make yet another.

Speaking of suit, with Kyhemeda's artistry now in a heap on the floor Kch'lo lifted my left leg and hooked it on his hip and swept the other to the side to accommodate the girth of his waist as he pushed against me. My body was ready and waiting for his entrance, foregoing the playful pleasures of foreplay so that he could fill me with his length in one violent thrust and penetrate the intensity of my aching so much more swiftly. I dug my fingers into his shoulder blades and pulled, prompting him to circumvent his usual gentle and measured nudging, but his body remained motionless.

"C'nlip?" he teased while running the back of his talon down the length of my torso.

I huffed, arching my back so that my abdomen butted against his. "Perhaps…" My words were lost in a breathy exhale as he grazed his talon underneath the thigh hooked on his hip. _"Perhaps,"_ I said firmly, just as intent on finishing my sentence as he was in rendering me speechless "…I should be…" I pushed through another swell of breathlessness as he rested his hand against the junction of my thigh, his thumb just at the edge of my throbbing folds, "…asking you…" I inhaled deeply, submitting to the reality that those would probably be the last words I would be capable of uttering before the only sound that filled the room was my own desperate, amatory moaning.

Though I couldn't imagine any circumstance that would warrant Kch'lo numbing himself with uncut c'nlip, the mere suggestion was all it took for him to pin my hips in place before thrusting his weight against me, emitting a deep, throaty trill following the unrestrained force of his entrance and my shallow gasp ensuing on account of it. He kept himself fixed against me, his body still and motionless, a glaring contrast to his member pulsing and throbbing against the tapered tunnel encasing him; flexing against taut muscles screaming in protest on account of his size. I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath until he abruptly withdrew, my breath drawn out in tandem with him.

At any point I could have laid back against the table and allowed Kch'lo to bring us both to climax, something he did often without requiring me to do the same the next time around, but every time my body wanted to lower itself to bear the brunt of his slow, measured thrusts my arms found themselves wrapped around his neck again, clinging to him while riding each buck of his hips. Each time his length reached the expanse of mine a sharp pain erupted deep within my abdomen, but the pain paired with the pleasure accompanying the glide of his withdraw stroked those deep-seated muscles into expanding and contracting around him in a slow building, rhythmic pattern. He increased his stride as soon as he felt me clamp down around him, squeezing inwardly to capitalize on each burst of friction, but continued to exert measured control over the force he met my rocking hips with. The friction, along with the steady patterned influx intensified and erupted into a tingling sensation that radiated down into my legs and sent my toes into a curl.

He had reduced my guttural moaning to barely audible mewling, slipping his finger beneath my chin and lifting my eyes to his, issuing a sharp growl to snap me back to attention whenever I closed my eyes and lowered my head, sinking into a haze of expectant ecstasy. He slipped his fingers into my hair and bawled them into a fist, restraining me from bowing my head against his chest. I wanted him to restrain me; to exert his dominance over me so that when the swell of the building storm between my thighs hit I would have an anchor in which to keep myself from being swept away. I didn't care that he was forcing me to keep my eyes on his as he coaxed my body into giving him the pleasure he stroked into new heights, holding me back from edging over the pinnacle of pleasure until the exact moment he wanted and allowed me to achieve its height.

And he allowed me to succumb to the throes of his sexual mastery in perfect, synchronized timing to his own. As soon as I felt a burst of warmth he bowed forward, keeping me pinned against his chest as my body surged in wracking spasms. I reached forward and grabbed the thick coils of his hair, drawing him into me and forcing my tongue into his already waiting, open mouth. He brought his mandibles below the hollow of my cheeks, cradling the sides of my face as I darted my tongue in and out; catching and somehow tasting the methodical, masculine huffing that emanated deep within his chest, slipped out of his throat, and sent a wave of vibrations against his tongue and then mine.

Long after my muscles had quieted around him and he ceased throbbing deep within me, I still couldn't bring myself to pull away from him despite my body's desperate cry to retreat to the folds of our nest and collapse against him. No longer exploring every crevice of his mouth in the passionate swell of orgasm I rested my forehead against his, content in having him continue to cradle me in what could only ever be a 'kiss' between us.

I lost all sense of time while nestled against him, so whether he carried me over to the bed a minute after he withdrew himself from me or an hour, I don't know. I settled in against his side and rested my head on his shoulder, tracing my fingers up and down the valley between the mountains of his pectoral muscles while he idly fondled my hair. Kch'lo having thoroughly dispelled the anxious tension riddling my bones since his departure from Chakuube's clanship, both my body and mind oscillated between reticent and euphoric. This was better than waking in the early hours of dawn, lingering in between the gray haze of a dream while alertness nipped at my wakefulness, all while listening to the steady thrum of rainfall and the occasional rolling waves of rumbling thunder. Bare skin nuzzled against the hot heat of Kch'lo's hide, his velvety tresses draped over my upturned shoulder while filling my nostrils with a blend of crisp spice and cinnamon, was a heaven I was loathe to ever leave.

* * *

 **The only unit of time I was able to measure our passionate** self-sequestering against was the room's scheduled change in lighting, each time Kch'lo manually triggering the dimmer feature so that I wouldn't be inclined to leave our nest in search of any other stimulation other than what he showered me in. I wouldn't have been inclined or even momentarily tempted to leave the room, either, but Kch'lo was hard-pressed to even let me leave the bed. Just when I thought my body would refuse to take another passionate throttling he found ways of subduing my body's hesitation, pursuing other outlets of pleasure while the parts of me that had been rubbed raw, refusing to take another inch of his girth, recovered. Just when I thought I had sweated out every last drop of water my body had to give my bladder would demand that I empty it just as soon as I had settled back down against the pelts and closed my eyes. Kch'lo rumbled in response, a flicker of impatience in his eyes when I climbed back into the bed before I was hinged at his side again. He was in a way I had never seen him before, opposing the distance of something as trivial as a potty break. It didn't go beyond my notice that his usual methodical primacy had been exchanged for the sort of volatile dominance I had come to expect from younger Yautja. But I wasn't complaining, not in the slightest.

Those times in which my slipping out from underneath his heavy arm, even the quietest of movements never ceasing to keep him from stirring and emitting a faint rumble in response, had pricked an already heightened masculinity, resulting in his hand springing forward and clamping down around my wrist, yanking me back onto the bed before he tumbled over me, planting his hands down against the bed just above my shoulders, his arms effectively keeping me from shifting away from underneath of him. I would laugh, genuinely, on account of his determination to detain me in a nest of furs that reeked of our sex, soaked and imbued with our sweat and all the other fluids the throes of orgasm expelled. But then he would let out that purr of his that loosened the stiffness in muscles I had strained and abused by bending, twisting, and contorting in ways no training exercises could have prepared me for and that light laughter of mine found itself caught in my throat, dissolved and replaced by a moan as he grazed his tusk against my collarbone before moving down the bed and grazing that incredibly hot, forked tongue of his against the throbbing protest of my sex, a short while later bringing me to climax without causing an ounce of pain.

But eventually in what I surmise had been at the very least three days, Kch'lo was agreeable to making an appearance to the outside world. It was a good thing because as content as I was that he had made himself _my_ sexual slave if my own stench didn't appall him it was certainly beginning to appall me. Kch'lo…he didn't have the kind of scent that rivaled a teenage boy's spell of picketing the shower, not even after _days_ of sex or comingling in the scent of mine. While he may have been a lucky bastard for it, I on the other hand, needed a damn bath. And then a trip to the laundry chute, the actual laundry chute, to get rid of these pelts. I was starting to think that if we kept at it any longer these pelts would take on a life of their own, growing the kind of spores one would expect to find in a Petri dish.

And as much as Kch'lo may have believed that he was feeding and nourishing me with all the substance I would ever require, I needed actual food. Thinking of trays and carts of naxa, rjet, even that white goo Gikvaris considered food had spiked a fierce hunger in me of which even Kch'lo heard, though I suspect he wasn't pleased any part of me was groaning without him having part in it.

As Kch'lo would have never accepted my going into the mess hall because it was the unofficial stomping grounds of un-Blooded Yautja and because he would have considered my shying away from the assembly hall childish (why would he bother himself to think I actually enjoyed sitting at the grownups table?), he delivered me to the common room. The gaping mouthed, wide-eyed stares of the girls as we entered the room hadn't curtailed Kch'lo's demanding disposition as he lifted my chin with his finger and with his other hand, ensuring it was level with my line of vision, pointed his finger straight down.

"Stay," he intoned deeply, his eyes effectively communicating the same measure of seriousness as his tone.

I mustered up as much fervency as possible to persuade him that I didn't need to test the limits of his contention with putting any more distance between us than required to take a piss.

"Staying." Running my fingers down the length of his arm I smiled, which disengaged his intense glaring. Doubtful his current irritation was with me I sought to break the barrier of this invisible tension surrounding him with a bit of lightheartedness. "It's because I took a bath, isn't it?"

Kch'lo chuffed and withdrew his finger from beneath my chin. "H'ko." He paused, glancing at the girls who were gawking at the two of us and reconsidered verbalizing whatever he had been moments away from telling me.

"Don't be long…?" I playfully swept one of his tresses to the side and did a silly version of the itsy bitsy spider up his chest. He hadn't bothered picking up the pieces of his armor still lying in a heap on the floor by the bed, but he was at least donning a loincloth. I didn't want the girls catching sight of his size before I had more time to ease them into believing that yes, yes they could take every inch of it.

He conceded by way of a gentle nod before leaving the common room; leaving me to turn about-face to a room full of girls who, up until now, had only my description of Kch'lo to form a visual from. Yeah, he was a lot to take in at times. God knows the way my body had gone from an upright stride to a cowering ball of self-consciousness in a split second prior to actually _knowing_ him. How in all fairness my body still did.

I grinned and shrugged before moving toward one of the carts, Rose's eyes watching me like a hawk as I plucked pieces of naxa from a cart she had staked a claim on. She was pregnant and moody and I totally understood, which is why I promised her I would make sure Kch'lo sent an eta for a refill when he returned to fetch me.

I flopped down on the sofa next to Tiff and Ayida and instantly regretted doing so. My insides were sore and putting downward pressure on the places Kch'lo hadn't always treated so gingerly – at my own damn insistence, of course – was going to make anything other than a supine position a challenge. I tucked my legs up beside me and shifted my weight onto the arm of the couch, incurring a litany of snickering from Ayida and Tiff who had suddenly found their funny bones.

"You've been gone for days," Tiff started out, her tone a bit suggestive. "I guess your Yautja really missed you, huh?" She nodded toward the string of playful bite marks along my shoulder line. I was just thankful she didn't have a view of my inner thighs…

"Missed you?" Ayida's eyes were also surveying the damage of a passionate weekend bender. "Looks like maybe he wanted to send a clear message to your new sparring partner, eh?"

I waved dismissively. Though the thought hadn't crossed my mind before she mentioned it I was positive Kch'lo had little reason to showcase his claim to an Un-blooded.

"It's what they do," I shrugged, my response more for Tiff than it was for Ayida.

Tiff laughed lightly and changed the direction of our conversation. She may have been a hardass, but I think fang marks paired with the fact that I _enjoyed_ having them made her uneasy. It was one of those 'you never know until you try' things I would have to explain later.

"Heard all about your adventure in the vents," Tiff said while looking up. "You are one crazy bitch, you know that, Ex?"

My expression soured recalling the events of that night before Kch'lo stopped by. "I bet."

"No really, Ex. You had them fuckers buzzing around like angry bees looking for you. So even if your main squeeze cut in on the fun you should be proud you left them scratching their heads." She laughed and on her inhale snorted. "Imagine that…a stumped Yautja. Seen a grumpy Yautja. Seen an angry Yautja. Ain't never seen a stumped one, though, until now."

I couldn't help the smile that formed while chewing a piece of naxa.

Ayida played with the hem of my covering before shifting closer to me. I knew she wanted to bend my ear without also bending Tiff's.

"Gotta take a piss," I said while standing and stretching. "Come on." I extended my hand to Ayida and she feigned annoyance before taking it.

We slipped into one of the back rooms and sat down on the floor by the windowed wall, our view of black space still unchanged. Ayida wasted no time jumping feet first into conversation.

"Lucky for you my Yautja is a little better than yours." She smiled briefly before her face returned to its former seriousness. "Shunlau thinks I am always too tired to pay attention to his small talk with other Yautja."

My body stiffened in response to anticipation of bad news, but I tried not to give those thoughts purchase just yet.

"He mentions upcoming trials…Hive cleansings…Kyhemeda and Gikvaris. He slips out late at night while I am sleeping and goes to the kehrite. Sometimes it is alone and sometimes Kyhemeda and Gikvaris are there. Shunlau seems to be preparing for something…Suddenly he's put aside all talk of leaving the clanship and returning to solitary hunting." She tucked her glossy black hair behind her ears. "Has Kch'lo said anything to you? He seems…unsettled…Maybe he has an idea of what is going on..."

I sighed wearily, my head shaking though I had been too deep in thought to have conscientiously made such a movement. "I wouldn't describe him as being 'unsettled' so much as 'on edge'. Like if I were to sneeze too loud he might lose his shit. _That_ kind of 'on edge'. But honestly Ayida, he hasn't said a damn word about anything since he came back. Nothing. Not about his discussions with the Ancients…if he _is_ an Ancient…And then there's today."

And there was today. Dropping me off to the common room like he was checking his kid into daycare. It just wasn't his style. Or maybe I just don't remember it being his style….Didn't remember him being so overbearing like Gikvaris. Or maybe I was just exhausted and didn't know what the hell I did or didn't remember.

I rubbed Ayida's shoulder. She looked sick with worry. "I'll get it out of him. Don't I always get it out of everyone?"

Ayida cracked a smile. She knew it was true. "I was rather looking forward to leaving with Shunlau and Rah'ez…Finally get off of this ship and feel the sun in my bones again."

"Ex!"

Tiff's sharp voice tunneled down the narrow corridor and refracted into the room. I groaned before scooping myself up off of the floor and lending Ayida a hand onto her feet. Sauntering out into the main room Ayida rejoined Tiff on the sofa and I headed straight for the door where Kch'lo was waiting for me.

"Not long," I remarked, pleased he hadn't forgotten about me although I could have sat with Ayida the rest of the night. There was a lot of lost time to make up for with her, especially if Shunlau was eventually going to take her with him from the clanship.

Aligning my body with his, no longer the greenhorn that needed a heavy-handed prompting to do so, Kch'lo set the pace of our stride as we left the common room. I assumed he would lead me right back to our well-worn sex nest but we veered in a different direction and headed toward the drop shaft. I kept giving him a sideways glace from time to time, hoping he would pick up on the subtlety and cap my curiosity, but he said nothing. We descended the ship level by level until that familiar steamy hiss preceding a rattling shutter confirmed we had reached the lower level. And even when the doors open Kch'lo expected me to keep in step with him, still without acknowledging my growing curiosity which I was sure by now was noticeable in other ways than just a series of stolen glances. He may have temporarily lost his usual even-keeled temper, but he certainly hadn't lost that keen sense of smell that could detect even the faintest whiff of emotion.

As we pushed through the commotion of the lower level the hum of chattering Yautja came to an unnerving hush similar to the threatening silence of the outdoors when something bigger and deadlier came trotting along. We cut through the droves of Yautja rank, un-Blooded and Blooded, Elites and even a few scattered Elders, penetrating the humdrum of their daily dealings, but I realized it wasn't on account of my presence they ceased their clicking bullshitting, but that they were regarding what was in their very body language a display of respect for their undisputed leader. It wasn't the sort of reverence that un-Blooded and recently Blooded Yautja paid to Gikvaris in a show of respect to an esteemed, decorated hunter, but the kind that infiltrated all ranks, from eta to Elders. I even suspect that sort of deference ran in the vein of the Ancients, though I didn't know yet what had transpired between them.

It wasn't an unfounded assumption, either, that Kal'ar's continued failure to produce a Firstborn or put pressure on Suon'var to hold to his end of the bargain had further served to deepen the wedge of his clan's wavering alliance. I was totally stumped as to why Kal'ar didn't just pick a human to take care of the Firstborn issue. Pup may not be pure, but hell, you can't please 'em all. And as far as the business with Suon'var was concerned, setting aside my extreme dislike of him, hesitating in putting his foot down in all honesty made Kal'ar out to be a big pussy. He needed to suit up, call in the cavalry, and not only take back his clutch of kainde amedha eggs but take that Yautja female as well. Show Suon'var that when you fuck with the Thwei clan they fuck you back even harden. Kal'ar could definitely learn a thing or two – or ten million – from Kch'lo if he set aside his beef long enough to listen because I was damn sure if Suon'var had fucked with Kch'lo like that, Kch'lo wouldn't be concerned with repossessing eggs or a stuck-up Yautja female. I think Kch'lo would set those face-fucking spiders loose all over the ship, set the ship's autopilot coordinates to a preserve, let gestation takes its course, and then go on a guys-only retreat that included a little sightseeing and some lighthearted hunting.

We entered a door and entered an auditorium of sorts, only there wasn't a stage framed in red velvet drapes or a podium on which the next inspirational speech would rest on. In the center of the circular auditorium and its tiered benches was a recessed pit. A fighting pit. No cushy kehrite mat to soften a body slam, but floor-to-wall metal plating I imagine had been the cause of more than just a few cracked skulls.

Following Kch'lo, we descended the narrow stairs that spilled out onto the bottom level and approached the edge of the pit. Like the auditorium it was round and appeared to drop fifteen feet below the main floor. My eyes were drawn to the scattered score marks in the floor and the shallow ruts smeared across the walls. It didn't take a genius to figure out that most of them were made by the sharp tips of combisticks and blades, but a few I had to leave to imagination because I didn't want to believe that some of the scorings could be the jagged tears of claw marks my eyes lead my brain into suspecting. And not the marks a Yautja talon left behind, but something much larger.

"Next light."

Kch'lo's voice thankfully tore me away from the horror of my own imagination. I pivoted my head to look at him but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were fixed down below in the pit.

"Next light?"

"Sei-i. Must rest now before ship reaches preserve's sun." He finally turned and met my attentive gaze. "Are ready?"

I nodded in all seriousness but moments later a light laugh followed. "Will let me rest tonight?"

During our days-long sexual foray Kch'lo hadn't held back an occasional trill on account of my easily manipulated lower extremities, but it was good to hear his trilling now. A genuine trill that seemed to penetrate the unusually high-strung demeanor currently holding him hostage.

"Sei-i...Tonight."

As much as I believed Kch'lo was teasing me and that I'd be forced to face off in the coming days with Dalani with jelly for limbs, Kch'lo did in fact let me rest. And he either believed he had the propensity to renege on his agreement or that I would be the offender because he didn't sleep beside me. Didn't even stay in the room after escorting me back from the pit I would soon be standing in. But if he thought I was about to let that continue as the ship made its way toward one of its preserves he had clearly lost more than his composure. He had lost his damn mind.

* * *

 **Responses to Reviews:**

 _JShale: Astounding. A review that is the length of a writer's dreams. But as you already know, my skills pale in comparison to yours. The day you write about the Yautja…the FanFic website will crash on account of the traffic._

 _Villemoo: There it was….Did his reintroduction meet your expectations?_

 _DystrVction: Yes, the kids put it 'lit' these days. I'll never understand the foreign language of kids/teens these days. But…I'm sure this chapter wasn't as 'lit' as you may have expected. I couldn't just leap right into blood. She's back in the saddle and it's a slow build toward a gallop._

 _Tissues: I'm still tinkering with Kal'ar finding his spine, adding in slow doses the kind of pressure that will force his hand to use that dormant said spine of his. I could have written every female character as naive virgins, but then their only pain would be in forgetting their past while looking toward the future. My decision in writing a character that had to leave behind her children was because it would be my own worst fear. How can one look to the future, birthing pups, without being reminded of those children she had to leave behind in her past? Its plausible, more plausible than a bunch of never-been-kissed females that will never feel that sort of pain. Probably the worst pain a human can ever experience._

 _KTCameleon: I think our pm's worked this one out. As far as Babcock and Niles, I've never heard of them (the show) before reading your review. I must investigate now._

 _APeaceOfPie4Everybody011: I know, I know…you were expecting immediate ass beatings. I am getting there. I even introduced the fighting pit. Will be patient with me, wont you?_

 _Sousie: As you can see, I think he's a little jealous over everything, including a short trip to the bathroom. But I couldn't deal with why in this chapter. We will get there soon._

 _KATT9033: I am pleased you enjoyed again. I'm getting to the truth of the matter soon, but not before a few more 'oh shit' moments._

 _FutureEnchantments: thank you my dear. With Suharek, the apple doesn't fall far from the sire tree, I suppose._

 **Yautja Translations:**

 **Pauk/Pauking: Fuck/Fucking**

 **C'jit: Shit**

 **Lou-dte: a slur for females. Basically, they're only good for popping out pups.**

 **Thwei: Blood**

 **Kainde amedha: Soft meat / Xenos**

 _ **I don't think I've forgotten any others. If I did, I apologize.**_


	26. Chapter 26 - Transferrence

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the Yautja/Pred universe, but I do own my characters. That's about it.**

 **A/N: I ended last chapter wanting to jump right into the pit scene, but it just isn't going to work at this present moment. In fact, this actual update is a total rewrite of what I had planned. Probably twice. I am tedious in how I drive my plot forward, and mindful of this story's ending – making sure when you arrive there, you're not left scratching your head. After a lot of going back and forth with an incredibly talented, insightful author (JShale), I realized there are two characters that need some fleshing out still. I've ignored them for a long time because, quite frankly, I dislike them immensely. But their vague presence presents issues so I have to solve it. I could just drive the story forward and remain indifferent to the actual content of my story, but I care a great deal about what I put out there for my readers and so I have to do my very best to give you a story that is worth your time even reading. Patience is in fact a virtue and I am continually reminded of this fact. Please remain virtuously patient with me as well. If nothing else…working this out will give you a tad more time with my characters. Because all good things must come to an end, but at least I can prolong that end to some degree.**

 **Also, just a heads up...I'm probably going to post one more chapter (maybe two), before I end it and switch to a 'sequel' that has different POVs. I'll forewarn you when its the last update if you feel inclined (and hopefully you do) to follow that story which is a continuation of this one.**

* * *

 **The last, mighty ripple of a powerful shudder tore through my body before I slumped against the bed** , a light laugh riding the escape of an exhausted exhale. I gently nudged Kch'lo's hand at my hip, cuing him that my body had endured all it possibly could, aware that if Kch'lo hadn't found himself in such a liberating mood any attempt to parry his sexual onslaught would prove useless as there was little I could do while nestled beneath him. I had been, for the most part, helpless to even _want_ to resist his rekindling a desire that should have been thoroughly extinguished after yet again another release.

Kch'lo's withdrawal ushered in a wave of relief, though it was a short reprieve from the stretched muscles that began to burn as they tensed and settled back into place. Kch'lo draped himself against my side, ignoring my gentle nudging as he kept his hand fixed firmly against my hip; an indication that I wasn't free to get up and leave him just yet either because he was again still at odds with my slipping away into the washroom or because he hadn't yet decided if my body fully understood the true meaning of exhaustion. Tonight, Kch'lo was even more relentless than he was the night before. His erratic behavior, which had previously given me a measure of wayward amusement, was now a growing cause for concern. His handling of me extended far beyond two lovers simply making up for lost time. He was unleashing the fury of some unspoken contention as though he needed to physically prepare me for it before mentally, emotionally assaulting me with it. The grimness of that realization begged confirmation.

"If you have something you need to tell me, I suggest you do it _before_ fucking me into oblivion." I smiled, though carefully. In no way did I intend that to be a challenge he should feel the need to rise and meet.

Kch'lo rumbled before abruptly ejecting himself from our nest of furs. It hadn't been the reaction I was hoping for, but it was, in fact, a reaction nonetheless. One that didn't include shoving me face first into a layer of pelts and rendering me speechless, grunts and moans the only muffled sound he wished to hear before my throat was too wrecked and abused to even offer so much as a whimper. His deviation from such behavior meant that he was coming to terms with facing the thick, undeniable tension that had settled between us. I at least took comfort in the fact that by all appearances the tension wasn't on account of anything I had done. Otherwise, he would have surely allowed me to rot in his absence rather than returning. That, his being present, paired with being so commanding of my body was an indication that the rift in his usual behavior was due to some external factor.

I rolled to the edge of the bed before lowering my feet against the floor, every muscle I willed into moving to achieve something as trivial as dressing a taxing effort. I slumped forward and swiped my covering off the floor, my body protesting in frustrated sighs when fussing to tie the cords behind my neck proved more strenuous than it was worth. It was with even greater effort that I continued to focus my mind in approaching Kch'lo, his pensive gaze having fallen onto some unseen object across the room. My body was no longer in unison with my mind, belaboring the very thought of exerting what little energy I had left to speak let alone conduct a meaningful conversation. And then there was that nagging dread of possibly having to muster the stamina required to survive a potential confrontation. It would take a great deal of coercion in a small amount of time to get my body to comply with the task at hand. To persuade every screaming nerve ending, every stretched and torn muscle, into doing exactly that I vowed to nurture them for hours on end in the washroom's heavenly basin later tonight when Kch'lo felt the urge to emerge from our hideaway.

I wanted to cross the room and slide my arms around his waist, now modestly covered in a loincloth, and hold him while prying into whatever had been gnawing at him as it would have been a more delicate sentiment rather than the brash, almost accusatory question that flew from my mouth before I even put one foot forward.

"What is it?"

After hearing the unintended causticness of my question I was just hoping he had an appreciation for efficiency rather than delicacy.

"Kal'ar," he replied, a hiss backing his equally curt response.

His shoulders were slouched and his demeanor reminiscent of defeat, a posture of which I had never seen, nor anticipated ever seeing, draped over him. He reached out and retrieved his wrist gauntlets before his brimming irritation was distracted by the tedium of fastening them around his forearm. The distraction was familiar. He had, for several days now, shed that same budding irritation by losing himself in me.

"Oh. _Him."_ A cynical huff escaped my nostrils. "What could it be now? You literally just got back."

Dwelling on whatever had occurred between the two of them, a rumble began to build in Kch'lo's chest.

"Is that where you're off to now?" I watched him fasten his purple cape over his shoulders, the undertaking of it as infuriating as tying the cords to my covering had been.

"Sei-i. And Elders."

Thinking I had little time to get my physical appearance in order before he marched me into the common room I quickly crossed the room and entered the washroom. I wouldn't have time for a bath as Kch'lo was nearly finished dressing himself – he was definitely not the sort of male that waits an extra forty-five minutes for their significant other to finish primping their hair or changing their outfit for the third time. Or fifth. But I was keenly aware that there was the golden afterglow of sex and then there was that just-hit-by-a-bus aura, the latter not being the sort of flattering fit I preferred to flaunt while entering the common room. I wanted the girls to have a healthy curiosity of the sexual awakening awaiting them, not turn them off to the idea of it in doing the walk of shame. Times ten. So tidying myself up as best I could as fast as I could, running cold water against my face and neck and combing my fingers through my hair, I was surprised when out of the corner of my eye I saw Kch'lo leaning against the frame of the doorway.

"Will go to kehrite and wait for me."

Tempted to remind him that I had been running on an empty stomach for longer than I even cared to verbally admit, I declined saying anything and just nodded. I might have been able to bring that to his attention and elicit a favorable result if his eyes, having constricted into pinpoints, hadn't just murdered any lingering hunger pains.

"Stay with Gikvaris."

My hands fell deftly at my side as they no longer had purpose in making myself more presentable. I took a deep breath before leaving the washroom and heading for the door, aware that Kch'lo had determined my body did in fact not yet know the meaning of true exhaustion, only he was delegating the rest of that lesson to Gikvaris, which would be taught in a less than pleasurable manner.

As we left the room I aligned my side with his and, having learned in somewhat of a hurry early on the advantages in adapting as a creature of habit, lowered my neck for his hand. Only several steps later he still hadn't brought his hand to my neck or employed his other preference of hooking it at my waist. The kehrite doors swung open and it was then I believed he would make a show of his claim over me. Never failing to display it even amidst the lowest Yautja I didn't expect him to pass on doing the same in the presence of Gikvaris and Cz'ha. His _not_ doing so was another reminder deserving of a good forehead-palming that just when I thought I had somewhat figured him out he did something like this and took a bulldozer to my carefully crafted house of theories.

"Time only progresses his skill rather than stunting it."

I turned to look at Kch'lo whose attention was on Gikvaris and another Blooded Yautja in the middle of an intense spar. His gaze was one of proud admiration.

"He is the only Yautja of our clan to complete his chiva and return with two kainde amedha queen skulls within the same year he was Blooded." Kch'lo trilled lightly, his mandibles rapidly clicking.

"Yeah, I can imagine…He's pretty fucking terrifying at times."

And he was.

I had watched Gikvaris spar with Cz'ha countless times, though when Gikvaris met his student on the mat it was more of a demonstration than it was an actual sparring session. Gikvaris had always conducted himself with a great amount of restrain, continually putting conscious effort into handling Cz'ha with the sort of refining delicacy an un-Blooded required: never lax enough to allow Cz'ha to believe he could expand the universe of boundaries Gikvaris created and enforced, yet never employing the sort of menacing tyranny that would break Cz'ha's young spirit rather than bridling it before coaxing it into unwavering greatness alongside of an equally unwavering master.

It was a rare occasion that I witnessed Gikvaris spar with any Yautja other than Cz'ha. Rarely did I linger long enough after my own session with Cz'ha to watch Gikvaris painstakingly instruct the wealth of his other charges. After Ayida mentioned Shunlau's slipping into the shadows to meet Gikvaris and Kyhemeda in the kehrite, I was tempted to go and see for myself the measure of warrior Gikvaris was, not because I believed his adeptness had been somewhat diminished by the sort of languid regulation bringing un-Blooded through to their chiva demanded, but because I wanted to see with my own eyes the sort of restraint Gikvaris shepherded himself with when instructing _me._ I wanted to observe the degree of unrestraint he unleashed upon Yautja of equal stature. But it had been impossible to slip away from Kch'lo to take a bathroom break let alone spy between the narrow spaces between the kehrite doors. But now, no longer needing to devise a plan in wiggling out of our bed unnoticed, I was finally bearing witness to it alongside the very Yautja responsible for training up this lethal, living weapon.

Having watched Gikvaris spar with Cz'ha countless times before, I had only ever seen a shadow of his hunt master's ferocity. Now, watching him batter this equally sized Yautja simulated the same swift brute force I had watched Kch'lo unleash on the bad-Blood, Chuboem. The artful way in which Gikvaris was using his speed and agility against this Yautja was awe-inspiring, deflecting and outstepping his opponent's blows while with perfect symmetry exacting his own. His advances and strikes were calculated and never exerted in furious gusts of labored, desperate exhales - the sort that escaped this Yautja's lungs in a last ditch effort to muster what energy remained as if his bruised and battered body somehow believed that only a furious last attempt would prevail in outsmarting and outmaneuvering Gikvaris. It hadn't so far.

And in having watched Gikvaris and Cz'ha, if there was any doubt then that Gikvaris was capable of destroying an entire battalion of well-trained and heavily armed humans I believed and knew in my heart now that he was capable of much, much more. If there was ever a suspicion that the Yautja were merely tipping the scales of their unnatural physical prowess by wielding weapons no munitions engineer on Earth had so far even imagined, Gikvaris disproved even the faintest of misgivings. In the kehrite his combistick moved in sync with his arm as if the two were one. On the preserve his vision, a weapon in and of itself, was as accurate and as lethal without the added acuity of his mask. But it was here, standing next to Kch'lo that I realized Gikvaris was the virile combatant his hunt master was than I had previously believed while observing the artful way in which he danced around in the kehrite with his combistick. With no added advantage of indestructible d'lex wrist blades or combistick that required only an astute knowledge of its use to gain the upper hand, it was here with his bare hands I could see how the tenacity of his true spirit had been tried, tested, and so far…unrivaled.

And Kch'lo seemed to be admiring the culmination of his handiwork, though he had never done so before in the dozens of times he came to retrieve me from the kehrite. I surmise he was relishing in his achievement one last time before both his obligations and Gikvaris' departure made it impossible to do so again. I always wondered if Kch'lo harbored a measure of disappointment in having trained both Gikvaris and Kal'ar. Gikvaris, by all appearances, the stronger, more adept student. Though the way in which Kch'lo observed Gikvaris now, wholly pleased with the warrior Gikvaris had become, I wasn't sure if it mattered to Kch'lo at all – as long as one, regardless if their blood was shared, exemplified Kch'lo's superior combat skills.

The Yautja's labored punches missed their mark as Gikvaris dipped and shifted away from each one, Gikvaris in turn pulverizing his opponent with fists that didn't fail to meet its mark. Finally, following a bout of staggering, Gikvaris landed a heavy blow against his jaw and the Yautja dropped down onto his knees. Gikvaris paced back and forth in front of him, allowing his opponent the opportunity to get back onto his feet and not concede defeat, but the Yautja remained on his knees, his shoulders hunched, his chest heaving in what I estimated was the wisest decision he had ever made.

Gikvaris extended his hand and helped his opponent to his feet, both of them nodding and clicking their lower tusks together, an unspoken agreement between them and between most sparring Yautja that the rage they unleashed against one another on the mat disappeared the moment they walked off of it. The Yautja had the uncanny ability to both slip into a lethal fit of rage and just as easily slip out of it; toggling between sudden flashes of light and darkness as if flicking a switch on and off. It was as riveting as it was frightening.

As the Blooded Yautja limped his way across the room, surely seeking solitude in which to lick his wounds and mend his bruised pride, Gikvaris barked out at an eta to clean the blood off the mat before approaching us.

"Not expecting tiny ooman." Gikvaris glanced at me before turning his attention to Kch'lo again. "Not slated to train."

"Sei-i. Am aware." Kch'lo lifted his chin slightly. "Is time."

I cleared my throat before speaking. It was the gentle, heads-up knock sort of one courteously gives before swinging open the door and interrupting a meeting. A meeting that was clearly about me but didn't involve me.

"I am more than happy to just sit and watch."

In response to Kch'lo's ogling, apparently not appreciative of my gentle yet necessary interruption, I wanted to draw his attention to a fact he tended to overlook more than what was healthy, but somehow I just knew if I said it he'd drawn _my_ attention to the fact that if I was still standing then my muscles weren't _that_ sore. And then he'd show me how 'sore' really felt later. So I said nothing.

"Will send for Cz'ha." Gikvaris motioned for me to go to the armory, following up with a sharp growl when I hesitated.

"Unruly, sei-i?" Kch'lo asked Gikvaris before trilling lightly. "As all kv'var hult'ah's are."

Gikvaris contemplated Kch'lo's words before chirring and conceding with a reverent nod.

Kch'lo then turned to me and curled his finger beneath my chin, lifting my face to his. "N'dhi-ja."

My light laugh hummed against his finger. Kch'lo never having been one for parting words his sudden use of manners was as unexpected as it was a breath of fresh air. In fact, his communicating more than a command and its implied warning before leaving me in the common room in recent days was unexpected. I could only hope that a change in his mood was on the horizon. I was beginning to miss his playful teasing.

"For _h'ka-se."_ I stood on the tips of my toes and rested my head over his heart against his chest.

 _Farewell? For now._

I was truly hoping when he was finished sorting out what seemed like an endless heap of clan bullshit that the non-bristling, rumbling Kch'lo here with me now was here to stay. There was so much I had yet to share with him – so much _Suharek_ and I had yet to share with him.

Kch'lo gently broke our embrace and turned to Gikvaris. "Payas leitjin-de Hma'mi'de."

Gikvaris nodded. "Ki'sei."

Kch'lo chirred at me before leaving the kehrite, his purple cape fluttering behind the fury of his determined stride.

"Payas what now?" I asked Gikvaris.

He rumbled before jutting his chin in the direction of the armory.

I sighed heavily. "Okay, okay. Geeze."

And just like that G switched on that no-nonsense, no hanging-around-the-water-cooler mentality of his like a fucking light switch.

* * *

 **Suharek's appearance in the kehrite was as unexpected as it was jarring** , drawing even Gikvaris' fixed gaze who was well accustomed to the kehrite's revolving door, quite used to and thus indifferent to the noise onlookers made as they trickled in. Combistick still poised to strike, I held my position as Suharek crossed the expanse of the room toward the mat. Cz'ha instinctively took on a demure posture in his presence – as he would in any Elder's presence – and slightly bowed his head.

"Ex-see-ah." Suharek stopped at the edge of the mat and bowed his head ever so slightly, which I was sure would totally fuck with Cz'ha's sense of superiority considering Suharek would never pay an un-Blooded the same respectful gesture.

I'd be sure to remind him about that the next time he made a quip about how humans were the equivalent of parasites. _Pesky_ parasites is how he put it.

"Suharek…" I returned the bow, leaning into my reciprocating reverence with a genuine smile. "A strange face to see in the kehrite, though a welcome one nonetheless."

Suharek trilled lightly, though its brevity left me wondering if his presence was on behalf of the Elder business that had whisked Kch'lo away rather than enjoying a Yautja pastime.

"Come," he said while extending his hand.

Caught in a moment of hesitation, Suharek squared his shoulders and gestured with a flick of his wrist to draw my attention to his waiting, open palm. "Is not a request." His tone, though void of any malice, was imbued with that familiar, commanding subtlety.

Gikvaris stepped forward and put himself between us, Cz'ha following his hunt master's lead and pressing in close behind me.

"Kch'lo has ordered his ooman to remain in the kehrite until he returns." As if Gikvaris' words didn't effectively communicate his resolve to uphold his Arbitrator's commands, his demeanor surely conveyed it. It was a visual display that was all the warning Gikvaris would, as a courtesy, bother extending.

I set my hand against Gikvaris' chest and felt the humming vibration of a low building rumble and the steeled network of knitted pectoral muscles. "Gikvaris…I'm sure –"

"H'ko." Gikvaris removed my hand from his chest and using it to control my arm, forced me back until I was inches away from Cz'ha's sweltering hide. He clicked his lower tusks together before hunching his shoulders and leaning in, bringing his face close to mine so that if there was even the slightest chance I might misconstrue his message, his eyes, now leveled with mine, would clarify it without having to mince words. "Have no business with _Elders_."

I swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my throat and nodded. Even when Suharek hissed out Gikvaris' name to draw his attention back to himself and every muscle in my neck was poised to crane around Gikvaris' shoulder I didn't dare let my eyes drift away from Gikvaris', no matter how curious I was to see whether or not Suharek had gone into a full bristle.

Only when Gikvaris was certain I wouldn't interfere with his and Suharek's disagreement again, a disagreement that was surprisingly moderate yet capable of imploding at any given moment, did he turn so that Suharek could address him again. Cz'ha gently placed his hand on my shoulder and brought me a few steps back with him and I fought the urge to whip around and dislodge his hold. I didn't like being treated like a child, least of all by a child _himself,_ but I knew Cz'ha was doing exactly what Gikvaris expected of him. _That_ was forgivable and didn't deserve a verbal, perhaps even physical, lashing.

"Gikvaris…" Suharek was visibly tempering whatever irritation was brimming beneath the surface, perhaps in an effort not to cause me any alarm. "Kal'ar will not take kindly to your interference."

"Send for Kch'lo," Gikvaris said plainly, ignoring Suharek's warning.

When Suharek moved to bypass the barrier Gikvaris formed between Suharek and me with his body, Gikvaris closed the gap and in a surprisingly bold move extended his wrist blade. Immediately Cz'ha dug the pads of his fingers into my shoulder and moved me forward at his side, careening me around the two Yautja whose tresses were now crested and shoulders hunched in anticipation of a physical confrontation.

Once we were out of the kehrite Cz'ha let go of my shoulder but kept his body aligned with mine, well past the point of encroaching upon any personal space I believed I was still entitled to have. His body was poised as if at any moment he would need to put all of his training to good use. His muscles stiff with anticipation, Cz'ha was ready to react to even the slightest perceived threat.

"What the _fuck?"_ I looked to Cz'ha as if he would have any insight as to what the hell had just happened, but I had a hunch he was as in the dark as I was.

"Keep up." Cz'ha kicked his furious pace up a notch, glancing over at me to ensure I was keeping in stride.

I followed him blindly as we zipped through the corridors and made our way to the lower level, trying to repel the battering ram of panic that laid siege to my thoughts. We wove in and out of a Yautja obstacle course, Cz'ha eventually forced to grab hold of my wrist so as not to lose me in the throng of Yautja that weren't inclined to part for Cz'ha as they had done for Kch'lo.

Nestled in the drab confines of the southern end of the lower level was the un-Blooded sector with its rows of closely spaced doors, the narrow walls between them an indication of the small quarters which lay beyond. Cz'ha keyed in an entry code to one of them and when its metal door slid back into its alcove it was with a screeching, grinding squeal, confirmation of the shoddy conditions the un-Blooded endured until successfully completing their chiva. The interior of his quarters was no less a jumble with scattered heaps of metal, a narrow path running between that led to a low pallet with a single, uninviting pelt. Aware that his lack of amenities was cultural and that Cz'ha was most likely indifferent to the state of disrepair he tolerated daily, I suddenly felt immensely sympathetic in light of his unfavorable living arrangements. It was blindingly obvious that he didn't have a private washroom and that his hygienic regimen was likely shared with a slew of others in a similar position. I shuddered at the thought of it. There was truly nothing worse than as a child having to wade in the water of a campground shower stall, grimly aware in the midst of my youthful hustling I had forgotten the most vital necessity a child of an outdoorswoman should have: _flip flops._ I surely hoped Cz'ha had fashioned himself a pair of sandals to avoid picking up whatever fungus a shared Yautja washroom bred.

"Wait here."

I pulled back from the flood of childhood memories his room induced. "Where are you going?"

"Khr'ahn."

I nodded before turning my attention back to the piles of scavenged ship parts. After he was gone I took a seat on the edge of his pallet, realizing with incredulity that Cz'ha was fashioning weapons from his lot of scrap. There were several scattered about the room, combisticks of a much smaller scale than those Yautja used in and out of the kehrite, though they were fashioned with astounding detail and accuracy. There was even a few knives, not the kind I would expect to find in a kitchen drawer, but with an extraterrestrial twist. It was interesting to see what an un-Blooded did in their spare time, if they even had spare time, though I was sure Cz'ha and every other un-Blooded looked forward to – perhaps even waiting with baited breath for – their chiva training; relishing every extra square foot their transport ship quarters afforded.

It was hours before the door opened again. I had long since discarded my reservations in violating Cz'ha's pallet by stretching out across it. I didn't lie down with the intention of sleeping as my mind was too deep in the throes of a mental cataclysm for me to find any semblance of rest, but I could not ignore my stiff muscles and the throbbing pains that shot down my arms and legs each time I made even the slightest movement. I was physically exhausted and my current predicament, despite my willingness to remain in confinement, added a flavor of mental weariness that would keep everything below my brain from recovering. It's what also kept me from lifting my head to meet Cz'ha or Khr'ahn's entrance.

"Up."

Betraying every muscle and bone in my body I shot up from the pallet and jumped to my feet to face Gikvaris. He visually assessed my condition, my rigid posture perhaps too ghastly even for him, who was customarily indifferent to the pain humans 'exaggerated', to overlook before barking at Cz'ha to leave the room. When Cz'ha moved V emerged from behind.

I took my own visual inventory, scanning for any trace that his confrontation with Suharek had turned physical, but found only old, raised scars.

"G…What the hell is going on?"

"Bakenti," Gikvaris intoned with a hint of disgust. "Do remember eta that assisted His'tgar?"

"Yeah…." My brows knitted in startled confusion.

"Has returned. Seeks pardoning of bad-Blood rank."

I inhaled, holding it deep in my chest before exhaling slowly, hoping all the hype about meditative breathing exercises would prove true and keep me from losing my shit.

"Is that even a thing?" Again I breathed in and out, but the outrage at the possibility this Bakenti could be pardoned was already simmering.

"Exia…" V stepped forward, intervening to relieve Gikvaris the task of giving me the sort of explanation I would expect: a thorough one, not the kind convoluted by the barrier between Yautja and human semantics.

"Well?" My hands instinctively hooked onto my hips.

V turned to face Gikvaris briefly, some silent signal passing between them they must have discussed prior to entering the room. I imagine it was difficult for Gikvaris to yield to anyone, let alone an android, waiting out in the corridor like a child not privy to adult conversation. It was probably the cause of the low rumble he issued before heading for the door.

Once V and I had the room to ourselves, V led me over to the pallet and we sat down on its edge.

"Why did you send him away?"

"Send him away?" His expression was suggestively bewildered.

"Gikvaris…"

"It is best you are able to digest the seriousness of your situation without the presence of a Yautja." V glanced toward the door and smiled weakly. "And I have little faith that Gikvaris would not hesitate to relieve my neck of its head if my words caused you even the slightest discomfort."

I shook my head while smiling. "Then you don't know Gikvaris."

"Perhaps not." V squeezed my hand, a subtle cue that he was ready to disclose whatever news warranted Gikvaris' dismissal and that I should brace myself for hearing it.

"There are extenuating circumstances that permit a Bad-blood to redeem his honor, provided the Bad-blood has not taken the life of another Yautja. One such circumstance might involve – "

"Don't give me hypotheticals," I intoned gravely. "Give it to me straight."

V hesitated before nodding his agreement. "This Bad-blood Bakenti sought asylum among Suon'var's clan until intercession could be made on his behalf with Kal'ar. Apparently Azkjiran, Suon'var's Arbitrator, has been in communication with Kal'ar for quite some time concerning the accusations Bakenti has presented. These accusations are quite serious, Exia."

"What do they have to do with me?"

"With you? Why…they have everything to do with you, Exia." He withdrew one of his hands from mine and deftly brushed it against my abdomen. "Bakenti has named His'tgar's conspirators."

"Kal'ar had no need for a Bad-blood to name His'tgar's conspirator. He pardoned her before gifting her to Suharek."

"No, Exia. Bakenti has bargained for the return of his status in exchange for the names of those Yautja that had knowledge of His'tgar's intentions…Those Yautja that stood to gain from His'tgar's treachery. At this juncture…Dalani's involvement is minimal at best…Serving merely to corroborate Bakenti's recounting."

"Dalani's involvement?" The heat of my anger filled my face.

"She was required to confirm certain aspects of Bakenti's accusations…Her knowledge, while limited, is rather damning."

"To who?!" I shot straight up, every muscle constricting in a sudden rush of adrenaline.

"Exia, please sit down. There is much we need to discuss – "

"To _who,_ V? Damning to _who?!"_

V rose to his feet to meet me. Programmed to accurately interpret kinesics and in response display his own, his movement was purposefully languid to avoid adding to the excitability of my current frame of mind. His effort of conciliation was as vain as it was infuriating, its intended purpose having quite the opposite effect.

"Vik'var'is." He paused, considering his words carefully. "Elder Hazjeel...And Kch'lo."

To hell with Vik'var'is and whoever Hazjeel was.

I made to speak, but V quickly moved to explain before I had a chance to permanently silence him by shoving my outrage down his throat.

"Kch'lo did not return to the clanship because his business with the Ancients was finished. Kch'lo was paid a high honor, if not the highest apart from becoming an Ancient himself, and given the rank of Ancient Arbitrator. The Ancients, though much like human kings, are not limited by borders and territories, but rule over all Yautja clans. As Ancient Arbitrator, Kch'lo has been conferred the same undisputed authority as the Ancients."

However much I wanted to dwell on all that Kch'lo's new station entailed, V didn't allow my thoughts to enter that hostile territory.

"Kch'lo deferred his new obligations upon learning the accusations Bakenti made against him. Returned to set his affairs in order."

"You say that…you say he came back to 'set his affairs in order' like he's terminally ill." I scoffed, rubbing my temples to abate the terrible pressure building behind my skull.

"Exia…You have seen the enmity between Kal'ar and Kch'lo yourself. Kal'ar will seek any means necessary to eliminate the threat Kch'lo poses to his leadership of the clan. Kal'ar has never had the full support of the Elders – "

"So label Kch'lo a Bad-blood, yeah?"

V reached out for my hand but I tore away from him. "I want to see him! Now!"

I was sure Gikvaris overheard every word V and I had exchanged, but it was my shouting that finally prompted him to burst into the room. Which was perfect timing on his part considering I was ready to dig my nails into V's synthetic flesh and tear out every wire and component that made him so dispassionate.

"Gikvaris, please. Take me to Kch'lo. I need to see him." I moved past V but Gikvaris shifted, placing himself between me and the door.

"H'ko. Not possible."

Delicately, V intervened again. "Kch'lo has returned with Arbitrator Azkjiran to Yaut to petition the Ancients. Seeks to overturn Kal'ar's branding him a Bad-blood."

"Then I will go to him there."

 _"M-di."_

Taking notice of the sudden onset of Gikvaris' bristling, V stepped toward me. "Exia…As a Bad-blood, a Yautja is cut off from his clan. He loses all rights to his possessions."

"I'm not asking to use his transport ship, V. I'll trade every weapon he has to barter passage if I have to. Hell, I'll fucking thumb it to Yaut if I have to."

 _"Pauking j_ _e'kainde ooman!"_ Gikvaris slammed his fist against the wall, the metal plating folding beneath it like tinfoil. "Not belong to Kch'lo anymore!"

As soon as V opened his mouth in what I imagine was to soften the blow of Gikvaris' indelicate outburst, Gikvaris silenced him by shifting his menacing glare onto him instead of me. Gikvaris slowly backed V against the wall, delivering another clangoring blow against the wall that was dangerously close to V's face. I used their distraction to my advantage, bolting toward the still open door. I had but one objective in mind: storming into Kal'ar's infernal council chamber and ripping out Bakenti's lying, wagging tongue. After that, it was anyone's guess who I would turn my wrath onto depending upon who got in my way while making _my way_ to Dalani. After fixing them I'd fix everything else. I'd find a way to make Kal'ar understand if only to pave the way to my getting to Yaut.

Spilling out into the narrow corridor with such momentum I butted my hands against the wall to keep from crashing against it. I immediately turned and swung my body to jet forward, but fortunately having missed crashing into the wall I now had the unfortunate pleasure of crashing into an immovable wall of Yautja flesh. I didn't have time to warn him, to threaten him through clenched teeth that if he didn't get the fuck out of my way I wouldn't extend him the courtesy of breaking one of his mandibles: I'd rip all of them out of his face. Impulsively I planted my hands against his chest and shoved him. He didn't take the tumble I was hoping for but the force served to move him back several steps. He flared his mandibles before grabbing my arms just below my shoulders and skidding me across the floor and up against the wall. With all my might I bent my knee and pitched my foot against his hip before snapping my leg straight and propelling him away from me. Immediately, catching him while his guard was temporarily lowered in balancing himself, I lunged at his throat. I was going to hurt him _good_ because I didn't have time to play this game with him. Fingers splayed to cup the soft flesh at his throat, it was too late to crouch down when I realized why Cz'ha had taken his eyes off of me and lifted them in conjunction with the faint shadow that fell over him. After my arm was caught midair my entire body was lifted off the floor.

I struggled against Gikvaris' firm hold, squirming to loosen his arms wrapped around my waist. A chorus of murderous threats poured out of my mouth as Gikvaris turned and carried me back into the room, his hold and his pace unaffected as I kicked against his thighs and shins. V, his head still intact, watched as the chaos spilled from out in the corridor into the room. V had never interfered when Kal'ar manhandled and jostled me about and I didn't expect him to start now, but even if there was a sliver of a chance he might I was sure by his morose expression that whatever Gikvaris had snarled at him right as I made a mad dash out of the room had eliminated any desire he might have had to help me. It was another harrowing confirmation of my newest reality.

In the center of the room Gikvaris crouched down and pinned me between his legs, lowering his tusks just above my shoulder. I hammered my elbow against his ribs, but his grasp was steeled around me, one arm clamped down across my chest and the other across my waist. I dug my heels against the floor and tried bucking him off of me, thinking the force would cause him to roll on the balls of his soles, but he remained fixed behind me, half of the muscles in his body working to keep me pinned between his legs, the other half working to keep perfect, steady balance. And then, as if my body wasn't already waning in strength, he began emitting a steady purr to coax it into submission a little faster. It did mollify the violent rage that had hijacked my body, but it didn't manage to stop the hot chunks of tears that followed once the adrenaline subsided. Though Cz'ha did not dare enter the room I could even hear him purring, the pair of them working in unison to induce total submission as their kind had done for centuries for their own emotionally unpredictable females.

* * *

 **With the gentle strokes of indifference one uses to smooth away lines in the sand so Kal'ar erased Kch'lo's existence from the face of the clan**. His title was given to Suharek, a bestowal I was sure he had earned in aiding Kal'ar, whether directly or vicariously through Dalani. His quarters and all contained within them was also titled to Suharek, save for Kch'lo's trophies which were discarded in the trash chute along with the bones that were unworthy of adorning a trophy room. Everything that belonged to Kch'lo was transferred to Suharek right down to the very pelts Kch'lo had skinned from his prey, a nightly reminder of his more beautiful achievements. His'tgar's head, which apart from traveling to Yaut had remained fixed on the wall above our bed, now Suharek's bed, was removed and, in what I imagine was insight into the depths I would go to retrieve it once discarded, smashed into serrated fragments; no longer resembling a head but shards of hardened coral. Even my own pelt coverings, the ones that had suffered the tears of Kch'lo's impatience, the marked ones that Kch'lo told me I would one day wear proudly and now did, were given to Suharek to do with as he pleased. Having nothing but the pelt now covering my nakedness, for not even the suit Kch'lo had given me to replace the one Kyhemeda fashioned while I pursued Kal'ar, I stepped away from the threshold of the quarters I had shared with Kch'lo and made what would be, at least emotionally, an endless journey to the common room.

Akra'on, the clan's new healer, was as inexperienced as he was unprepared, but he had had very little dealings with Vik'var'is, if any, which made him, at least to Kal'ar, a trustworthy candidate. Vik'var'is, whose vast knowledge of the human genome and gene splicing, made him unfit to be branded a Bad-blood. His head was promptly severed from his shoulders before being speared above the council chambers doors, flesh, bone, green blood and all. And there it would remain until Kal'ar was sure that his rotting hide, the smell of which filled the corridors and burned score marks into the nostrils of every clan Yautja, would deter any Yautja from 'dabbling in abominations'. The message was above all others meant for Akra'on. And by abominations, V, who had given me the information in piecemeal, Kal'ar meant the atrocity of blending the clan's kainde amedha queen's genome with human genome to create a womb capable of adopting its host's genus with that hope that in doing so the Yautja gene would remain pure and yield a X-chromosome, much as kainde amedha genetics were prone to producing a queen first in which to establish its hive. In fact, Vik'var'is had perfected his dark science when the ripe opportunity presented itself, scraping the cells from within my womb and creating an artificial one, one that functioned outside of the body. And it did function, producing experimental fetuses that although did not live beyond several days, were in fact female.

Elder Hazjeel, who supported Vik'var'is' enterprise of miscreation, was deemed a Bad-blood along with Kch'lo, but because he admitted to aiding Vik'var'is he was banished from his clan and permitted to abscond, a future mark for Suharek as Arbitrator. There was still a great divide among those loyal to Kal'ar and those loyal to Kch'lo, but with Kch'lo named a Bad-blood there was no hope of him ever challenging Kal'ar to take back his birthright. In one fell swoop Kal'ar eliminated the threat to his leadership and though he didn't have the kind of integrity I admired in Kch'lo and Gikvaris, it was comforting to know that he had a spine at all, albeit prone to self-serving interests. He was presented an opportunity to slice through his opposition and he took it. It wasn't that I was angry Kal'ar acted as those of my own species did, but that Kal'ar used Dalani's affirmations – the same woman who did not deny scheming with His'tgar – to render his decision against Kch'lo. I wasn't the only one who found Kal'ar's reliance upon the words of a treacherous shrew unsettling. Neither was his decision to promote Kch'lo's own pup to clan Arbitrator. There were many holes in many of the details, but in the end I was better off focusing on the challenge ahead than focusing on the network of political strife, let alone that of an alien race.

After Gikvaris and Cz'ha had tamed my inner beast, Gikvaris sent Cz'ha and V away. He he didn't exactly _politely_ request them to excuse themselves as it was more of a snarl, snap, rumble, and then roar before they showed themselves out. When we were finally alone, a waif saddled against a behemoth, Gikvaris revealed to me the reasons behind Kch'lo's infernal mood, expounding upon V's vague mentioning of 'settling affairs'.

 _"Knew Kal'ar would succeed. Came to secure tiny ooman,"_ Gikvaris had told me, his chest still thrumming in a continuous purr.

 _"Why come back at all?"_ I had been, in the midst of my sweltering anger with many Yautja and one particular human, angry with Kch'lo also.

 _"Kch'lo not run. Honor would not allow it. Came to secure his mate and face Kal'ar."_

I had long since settled limply against Gikvaris, the vibration and the heat of his hide a soothing effect, but it was the scent of his tresses I wanted to be nearest to.

 _"How did he 'secure' me, Gikvaris? Suharek wanted me to go with him. I'm sure he wasn't going to take me for a twilight stroll through the corridors before professing his undying love for me."_ My thoughts were consumed by the invariable amount of violent deaths I could have met had Gikvaris not intervened and Cz'ha whisked me away.

 _"Who knows being Bad-blood entails more than one who hunts them? Aware that first title is stripped, then possessions. Tiny ooman was possession. Returned and in witness of many transferred his claim over tiny ooman."_

 _"Transferred?"_ Having poked my head up, his gentled gaze met mine in all its throbbing puffiness.

 _"Sei-i. Transferred while Kch'lo still Arbitrator. Elder Suharek very angry after learning it."_ Gikvaris' light trilling did inspire a measure of mild amusement within me, but it faded quickly.

 _"Transferred to who?"_ Despite his purring, which liquefied every bone in my body, my body had stiffened against his more lax hold. Reflecting back on that moment, I can't recall if I even remembered to breathe while waiting for him to answer.

Gikvaris lifted his hand and curled his finger beneath my chin, his talon delicately placed so as not to even graze my skin in the slightest.

 _"Many nights in clinic while tiny ooman battled Cetanu, Kal'ar saw his future in a broken womb. Had tiny ooman survived Cetanu's shadow, Kal'ar was content to return to shadows as pet."_

I had given Gikvaris a solemn nod. _"I know. V told me you convinced Kal'ar to turn me over to Kch'lo. I'm sure he was putting it mildly, huh?"_ I had offered him a weak smile.

 _"H'ko."_ Gikvaris' gentle gaze narrowed. _"Demanded that Kal'ar require any Yautja interested in staking claim to tiny ooman fight jehdin-jehdin."_

Before I could even move to speak Gikvaris continued.

 _"Did not honor Yautja custom. Yielded to title and rank."_ Gikvaris' tone conveyed his disenchantment in his hunt brother. _"Kch'lo not forget risk in challenging one's own hunt master. Did not forget willingness to fight many Yautja to give tiny ooman better life than pet. Is why Kch'lo permitted me to continuing your training…Why he did not question my decision to return you to clanship in the company of Un-Blooded. Was Kch'lo's reason for making arrangements that in the event of untimely demise while pursuing Bad-bloods, I would immediately take custody of you."_

After digesting what he had told me my mind went from a massive flood of thoughts to little more than a trickle. In fact, it was quite possible that I remained on the floor between his legs an hour, maybe more, my mind having been still. Blank. It was my walk back to the common room now, recalling his every word that my mind began to turn again. The weight of his words truly began to impress upon me now. In a universe where I had foolishly put my trust in many there was two Yautja I could and would always bet my life on: one had been taken out to sea in a tidal wave of political warfare and another was holding my hand as I wailed and grieved from the coastline of my tragedy.

Only I felt sorry for Gikvaris. He would regret honoring his hunt master's wishes in taking ownership of me. It seemed that everything I touched turned to shit. And Gikvaris would pay a heavy price for carrying out his hunt master's wishes. Already he was in the kehrite with Shunlau, reconditioning himself as if his chiva training had somehow diminished his ability to crush any opponent that stepped onto the mat or into the pit with him. Without protest I complied with his orders to remain in the common room when he himself could not be with me. He refused to allow me to remain in his quarters without him being present, believing that in Kal'ar's pursuit to rid himself of any reminder of his brother he would seek to rid himself of me. Or that he would use that new spine of his and take back what Kch'lo had 'unlawfully' taken through some perceived dishonorable gain. In the off chance that either might be possible Gikvaris at no time was going to allow me to traipse through the corridors alone and to be sure my stubbornness didn't negate that, he posted Cz'ha outside of the common room doors.

It was temporary, he had promised me. He was taking me with him to the preserve the clanship was orbiting around. It was as good as any planet to replenish the transport ship's reserves and Gikvaris had every intention of restocking his ship as quickly as possible before leaving the clanship behind in his dust. We didn't discuss the actual nature of our pairing, though it was through inference that it was in name only. We would continue our relationship as we always had. For that I was extremely grateful because I couldn't even begin fathoming how I would approach a new Yautja mate. How I would be able to willingly – or quite honestly, unwillingly – submit to the fluctuating needs of another Yautja while still captive in habit to another's. Although Kch'lo had indirectly implied his own message in the transference. I was not given to Gikvaris as a mate, but as a pet. To be used for baiting purposes, both for himself and while instructing his Yautja students; to be the human equivalent of an eta, lugging their shit on and off the ship, washing their damn dishes after every meal. I was sure Gikvaris would not require that of me, but then again I wasn't so sure he wouldn't, either, if only to keep my mind too preoccupied with being pissed with what big slobs they were to be pissed with my circumstance in general.

As I entered the common room I was greeted with the same expressions of sympathy as when I had entered after losing my womb to His'tgar. I turned, ready to run to Gikvaris, fall to my knees, and beg him if I had to for him to allow me to remain in the kehrite with him while he sparred with Shunlau, but Cz'ha placed his burly ass right between me and that possibility, following with a firm shake of the head. As irritating as his determination to stand guard at the common room doors was, it was a bittersweet realization that as Cz'ha now served his hunt master in protecting what belonged to him, so Gikvaris had done for his own hunt master. I only wished that I could have shared the moment with Kch'lo, witnessing together how Kch'lo's legacy had now extended into two generations. Gikvaris wasn't his blood pup, but as with all walks of life, a teacher was only as successful as their student. And I knew Cz'ha was going to be one of the greats because he had Gikvaris to lead him there. Because Kch'lo had lead Gikvaris there.

I crossed the breadth of the room, the heat of their staring of the same intensity as the sun's scorching rays against the dry, cracked terrain of desert wasteland, and shut myself away in one of the inner rooms. I delved into the singular relief of the room I preferred over the rest, the one I felt the most at ease letting down my guard and licking my wounds on account of its homeliness. A single pallet was set at the center of the room's bare expanse, giving me the option to choose between a view of the three surrounding walls or the one that brought space and its dark entrails to my doorstep. I draped myself over the thinly cushioned pallet, resting the side of my face against my forearm while my eyes drank in the dark waters the ship gently swayed in, having anchored itself near the island stuck in the midst of this infernal ocean: the brick-red preserve Gikvaris promised to bring me to. A promise which Gikvaris could not fulfill quickly enough.

"Ex?"

I didn't bother poking my head up to see who had infiltrated the sanctity of my isolation. The voice, though significantly softer, belonged to Tiff. I could have snapped at her, could have put as little effort into repelling her in even grunting at her. I could have said or done anything to sway her from coming closer, but I was so far removed, so emotionally detached that I was content being lost in the murky waters beyond the window, the pallet supporting me a sliver of driftwood that floated aimlessly in an insouciant sea.

She lowered herself onto the pallet and stretched herself against me, nestling her forehead at the nape of my neck while slipping one arm beneath me, another over my side, clasping her hands against my chest as if to keep it from splitting open.

"When I heard what was going on…I uh…kinda used the chaos to slip away and grab you something. You're just like me…Talking it out isn't going to stop you from wanting to puke your guts out every time you're reminded of it. So I got you something to take the edge off of it."

It would have been nearly impossible for her to have reached the loading bay undetected to ransack a med-bay and unequivocally impossible to have done so in the clinic. I imagined what she had been able to get her hands on was a good amount of c'nlip, though thinking of its numbing effects, which paled significantly in comparison to the uncut c'nlip Kch'lo had shared with me, brought with it that god awful fucking ache in my chest again.

"It'll help you to sleep…and we all know that helping ourselves to a generous amount of the stuff kinda clogs the gears of our brains. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and assume you don't want anything running through your head right now, good or bad."

It was true that consuming a sizeable amount of c'nlip resulted in a dreamless sleep. It even clothed the details of events leading up to delving into the alien libation in an impenetrable fog. Tiff was right: c'nlip would effectively numb me so that while I endured the sting of grief's relentless whipping I would be hardly even aware that I was actually being flogged to death.

I placed my hand over hers, still at my chest, and squeezed gently. My boat was already sinking. What difference did it make if I hastened my inevitable drowning?

The gamut of emotions coursing through my weathered body was potent enough in swaying better judgment to take a backseat; eclipsing sound logic as to remaining fully alert in spite of the ever-shifting stability of my environment. My departure from reason and the foreknowledge of its conceivably disastrous aftereffects was also eclipsed by the prospect of immersing myself, body and soul, alongside of someone who wouldn't rebuff my dark admissions. She was the kind of company misery and all of its bitter components enjoyed. The sort of company that would not object to any of my jaded musings, preferring instead to commiserate alongside of them. Tiff wasn't without her woes, either, and so we both intended to drown ourselves in enough c'nlip to satisfactorily dull our varying degrees of grief. I fully intended to consume as much as necessary so that if even for the briefest of moments I could rid myself of the entire memory completely, it had been a worthwhile endeavor. It was ludicrous of me to believe such paltry fantasies, but grief, comingled with desperation, can warp even the sharpest of intellects. If I could propel myself into the sort of stupor that made such achievements even remotely possible I intended to ride the coattails of intoxication into the next century if I could. If there was enough c'nlip to even make that a possibility.

We didn't bother easing ourselves into our stupor. We weren't sipping cocktails with a measure of modesty, careful not to reveal the intimate details of our inner turmoil that might haunt one of us after learning our inebriated confessions had turned into wretched, common room gossip. We were wholly transparent to each other, our tongues unbridled. Tiff had as much to be miserable about as I did – she was struggling with being coupled and I was struggling with being uncoupled. Our perspective angst was as far apart as the northern and southern ends of the earth's hemisphere, yet the measure of our pain was equally dosed – slicing through the equator of our conflict as evenly as the prime meridian. Our respective suffering would always interconnect so long as each of us remained caught in the chaotic throes of existing in an alien universe.

"I think this is one of those times taking the high road wound up being the wrong road."

Enfolded in silence, the suddenness of her voice clapping out caused a shudder to erupt in the form of an abrupt twitch. I had always admired her ability to be so candid, her being so candid at times that the unabridged rawness of her statements had split a few hairs in the common room. It was the reason I was first drawn to her. She was the sharp yin to Ayida's soft yang. But tonight her unfiltered, verbal observation had a usual sting to it. The sting of which had affected so many others but me until now.

I took a few successive swigs of c'nlip to effectively smother that unwelcomed sensation among the many others plaguing me. And then I shrugged, too mentally bogged down to even form any meaningful reply.

"Do you really think Kch'lo knew what His'tgar was up to?" Tiff asked.

A wave of anger washed over me, but I forced myself to grin and bear it because like so many others, Tiff just didn't know Kch'lo like I knew him to know _that_ just wasn't possible.

"I mean…if it was really just about throwing you in his brother's face he could have saved himself the trouble and just…you know…accused you of cheatin' or something."

I laughed lightly. The thought of _that_ sort of drama unfolding between two Yautja brothers would be entertaining, to a degree. As long as it didn't involve me. I had endured enough brotherly contention and somehow miraculously survived.

"What I _think_ doesn't really matter. Never really _did_ matter."

After I thought about my reply it was a wonder why Tiff didn't smack me upside the back of my head to dislodge the spell of self-pity I was stuck in at the moment. I hated wallowing in front of her. How could I build her and all the other girls up while tearing myself down? But today…today it poured out in unfiltered waves and for no reason other than sheer indifference Tiff chose to ignore it rather than throwing it back in my face and calling me a hypocrite. She had no reason at all to ignore it, but whatever reason she had was an excellent reason all the same.

Tiff inhaled deeply before letting go of a weary sigh. "So then being here is no different than being home, huh?"

After an introspective moment of silence, we saluted the ugliness of that truth, the clanking of our jugs echoing in ripples around us.

"I guess it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be," I said while poising the mouth of the nearly empty jug of c'nlip at my lips. "Things could be much worse, right? Dalani and I could be sister-wives right now if Kch'lo didn't come back and pawn me off onto Gikvaris. Or pawn Gikvaris onto me…Haven't made up my mind about that one yet."

"Ah, Ex…" Tiff wrapped her arm around my waist and drew me to her side, the tenderness of her gesture, though a welcome one, a jarring contradiction of her brutish nature.

I leaned my head against her shoulder. As much as I was trying to make light of what had happened within the span of a few days, if only for my own sake, the severity of it wasn't lost on me or Tiff. The c'nlip may have served to dull the sharp edges of our reality to an extent, but it didn't numb us to its serrated texture.

It was hard keeping my thoughts from shifting to Chakuube and the terrible waste of a choice I had actually been given. Hindsight was more than twenty-twenty: It was a raging, mocking bitch.

Tiff's throat hummed with laughter. "Well…since Gikvaris can't stand you –" She paused, noticing how my brows suddenly knitted at her saying so. "No, really, I think he wants to strangle you… _Buuut…._ If you _really_ think about it…having built-in birth control might have its perks…Maybe get your hands on something really good in that black market on the lower level you always talk about." She snickered. "I've slept with a few men in my time for much less."

I nudged her hard, so hard her jug of c'nlip slipped out of her hand and shattered on the floor at the edge of the pallet. She gave me a hard look before we both broke out into a fit of laughter. Laughter that was the hideous cackling of a building drunken stupor, but damn if it wasn't laughter all the same. As long as I could laugh, whether from true amusement or on account of my own cynicism, it meant I was still human. That I wasn't completely broken just yet.

"Well…can't say I'm not at least looking forward to you being in the common room more."

Though flattered Tiff was looking forward to turning our threesome – her, Ayida, and myself – into a more permanent situation rather than an occasional one, I shrugged. I hadn't even thought that far into the future. I hadn't even considered where my ass would wind up beyond where it was currently parked. Maybe Gikvaris would find my being in the common room was more agreeable than invading the space of his quarters. It wasn't like I had a toothbrush to set next to his to make things official, but I never knew exactly what Gikvaris thought was more agreeable than the next.

* * *

 _Ally: I appreciate the feedback – it took a tremendous amount of time getting through this update. I'm so glad you appreciate it, and spend the time letting me know!_

 _Vivida : With your last review, I am sure this chapter made you want to murder me, right?_

 _Guest: Hope you know this is in response to your review – I'm glad to hear you are enjoying the story so far. Hope this chapter has been worth the wait!_

 _Villemoo : So….you still going to hang around, all things considered in this last chapter? Hopefully warming up to Gikvaris softened the blow a little? Fingers crossed._

 _JShale : What would I do without you?!_

 _DystrVction : Surprised to see him come back – were you surprised to see him go?_

 _Tenjp : I just had you in mind when writing this chapter…I just know you want to stab me with a pitchfork through your screen. But hang in there…please!_

 _APeaceOfPie4Everybody011 : okay, so we're still not there yet. If nothing else, it just keeps the suspense going, eh?_

 _Zekinthas : Speaking of shipping on the Gik boat….how is your mood now?_

 _FutureEnchantments : Give it to me straight – what are ya thinking?_

 _Another fantastic chapter! Kch'lo is back and laying it down in every sense of the word. I feel like he is truly making sure that everyone knows exactly who Exia belongs_

 _Guest: This is in response to the review you left – hope you came back to see it! Hopefully you see why he was so edgy when he came back – a last ditch effort to enjoy what was his while it was still his. ._

 _sousie : Your last review kinda breaks my heart as I'm updating this story. I hope there is another character at this stage you can cling to while missing Kch'lo._

 _DiamondDi : PM reiterated, you are too kind! Thank you for taking the time to read and post such a lovely review. And as I said, I did buy that book. Reading it in bits and pieces because between trying to hammer out this chapter and real life work (ugh!), little time to read. I must say, she's got quite the vocabulary. Amazing._

 _KATT9033 : How are things with you? So, knowing how you've felt all along about Kch'lo, thoughts now?_

 **Yautja Translations**

 _n'dhi-ja – farewell / goodbye_

 _payas leitjin-de Hma'mi'de – remember the gods' practice_

 _ki'sei_ _— I agree/I understand_

 _H'ka-se – now_

 _kv'var – hunt_

 _hult'ah – watcher/observer_


	27. Chapter 27 - Genesis

**A/N: Lots going on here. Lots to get out of my brain. There was so much more I wanted to add and pick at, but this has been dragging on far longer than I like for updates. So maybe it will get a tweak or two in the future, but for now, it is what it is. It feels a little rushed for me, but if I don't just POST I never will. So, here it goes. Enjoy!**

 **** Disclaimer: Still don't own any rights to AVP universe.**

* * *

 **Untrusting of both males in the room, regardless that one of them was an android** , Gikvaris remained close while still giving Akra'on enough room to maneuver around me. Though not as unhappy as I was in being ordered to present myself to the clinic for an examination, Gikvaris was displeased with Kal'ar's poking and prodding even if vicariously performed through Akra'on. Untying the cords of my covering, letting it fall to a heap on the floor, and then lying back on the exam chair definitely added another layer of bristles to an irascible Yautja already permanently marred by them.

Due to Akra'on's limited experience in Yautja physiology and none in that of a human's, at Akra'on's request Kal'ar's permitted V to accompany me into the clinic and assist Akra'on in what I understood was an analysis as to the extent of functionality, if any, of my reproductive system. As an android tailored to serve humans, V understood our language, our bodies, and our technology and because he was also proficient in the Yautja language he was able to fill in the gaps between the data pricked from my body and the technology that would subsequently analyze it.

Sitting upright, I watched as V's flawless features creased under the intensity of his concentrated focus; his alert eyes now two hooded slits boring into the small screen of the handheld scanner wedged between his palms. I was a nervous wreck and it showed in more than just my fidgeting. My temples began to bead with sweat and my hands remained clammy no matter how many times I wiped them on the front of my covering. My arms were constantly moving from covering my breasts to holding them out while V made adjustments on the electronic pulse readers hooked around my wrists. Somehow I managed to keep my anger in being commanded to present myself as Akra'on's guinea pig in check lest it drove me to saying or doing something that would give Kal'ar another reason to fan the flames of my present hell. But now that iron restraint over brooding emotions began melting away in sparkling droplets of sweat as V moved closer to finalizing the preparations so that Akra'on could begin Kal'ar's witch hunt.

No one apart from Gikvaris knew that I had experienced a sudden, _horrific_ fucking return of my menstrual cycle. I, myself, had put the entire episode behind me in the chaos of Kch'lo's return and concentrated my efforts in making things right between the girls and their prospective mates. Now that V was aware my infertility had come into question after discovering Vik'var'is' experiments I knew it hadn't taken him long to piece together my requesting his assistance in Gikvaris' med-bay where I would rely on his knowledge of the female human anatomy. He must have suspected days ago that I had experienced a return of something, though exactly _what_ he hadn't been able to discern until now.

"Exia?"

My eyes snapped up from my lap.

"Did you hear me?"

I shook my head, stealing a quick glance at Gikvaris whose eyes were glued on Akra'on as he tinkered with wares unfamiliar to an unlearned healer.

"Lie back. I am going to perform an initial scan before Akra'on injects a contrast into your uterus."

V placed his hand on my shoulder and offered a reassuring smile.

"It will be alright, Exia. The scan is a hysterosonography which will provide Akra'on with a more advanced view. Then, after the contrast is injected, a simple hysterosalpingograph will be performed to determine if there are any abnormalities in your uterine cavity."

"And that's it? Then I can leave?" Though hopeful that for once things weren't going to be so complicated, V's plain expression and failure to offer a confirming nod dashed any budding optimism.

"If Akra'on concludes that a laparoscopy is necessary to determine if there is in fact scarring, as Vik'var'is documented, you will be given a topical anesthetic. It is a minimally invasive procedure. Then…then I do not believe any other procedure would be necessary."

Aware that any protest would fall on deaf ears, without another word I settled against the reclined chair. V hovered the tricorder scanner over my abdomen and made several passes, the scanner emitting a series of successive beeps before coded data began to fill the diagnostic screen on the display behind him. V checked the incoming data to the data transmitted on the screen behind him, his expression knitted in concentration. He looked back and forth, made another several passes, and leaned back in his own rolling chair to examine the data on the scanner's small screen.

"Exia…"

"Just do it." I bit down on my lower lip and braced for the pain of a leviathan-sized needle.

"The new healer has no understanding of human speech." V's eyes were still lowered onto the screen of the scanner resting in his lap, a deliberate diversion so as not to draw Akra'on's attention. "I do not believe that a hysterosalpingograph or a laparoscopy will be necessary at this juncture. I believe the data satisfies the clan leader's inquiry."

Picking up again on V deliberately refraining from speaking Yautja names I let out a light 'mm hmm' while moving my eyes about the room in feigned boredom in case Akra'on was watching.

"As the healer possess little knowledge of human physiology it will take some time before he accurately transcribes the data. It could be a matter of hours or perhaps even days for him to weed through an influx of code. I will remain in the clinic to assist the healer but I strongly advise that you remain at his…" He gave a subtle nod toward Gikvaris. "...side for the time being."

"Why?" I laughed bitterly. _"Clan leader_ not getting the results he wanted? Maybe he'll decide to dig a little deeper next time. You know…amputate my feet to make sure _old healer_ didn't try cloning them to model his new Yautja line of footwear."

Gikvaris' slow building rumble was a reminder of the warning he had issued before we entered the clinic, but before I could even hold up my hands to assure him I wouldn't cause any trouble he chuffed before slapping the door panel and leaving the clinic. I knew he wouldn't be further away than but a few steps out in the corridor, but we were both on edge as of late and this clinic visit had been just another sidetrack to getting us both to the preserve. His Yautja progenies had already boarded the transport ship upon waking and Gikvaris being the leader he was – the nitpicky, overbearing leader he was – was loathe to leave them to their own devices.

"Well….that is exactly the issue at hand, Exia. I believe the clan leader was expecting a somewhat unremarkable report. If anything, Exia, this report is _beyond_ remarkable. Simply astounding."

"V…"

With Akra'on's back turned while he sifted through data cartridges, V rested his hand against my abdomen.

"Virtually no scar tissue exists in your uterus."

A gust of air escaped before I laughed. "God, V…That's it? I thought you were about to tell me one of those fucking aliens was inside of me or something."

"Not alien," V said seriously. _"Yautja."_

* * *

 **Hoping I could steal myself inside the transport ship without bumping** into any naturally inquisitive Yautja, I took a deep breath and psyched myself up after seeing Gikvaris was waiting at the entrance of the transport ship, leaning his massive weight against the frame of the airlock. After crossing the expanse of the hangar bay, trying my damnedest not to allude that anything was amiss, I scaled the ramp and forced a smile. I nearly made it past him before his arm stretched out to block me from moving further. He gently curled his fingers around my forearm and centered me in front of him.

"Ex-see-ah not ready." He chirred while pinching the neckline of my covering. "Ywsa orbits red dwarf star."

Never having paid much attention in science class, V's crash courses in astronomy proved invaluable, at least when it came to Yaut. Subjects such as history and English had become impractical these days, more or less used as conversational pieces with the girls. All the hard work and effort in excelling in both throughout an entire lifetime had been rendered ineffectual in a span of little over a year. Ywsa, one of three planets in a red dwarf system, was a tidally locked planet whose subpolar point was encumbered by fierce winds and permanent, torrential rain. Life on the subpolar side relied on infrared vision. Aquatic life, supported by vast blooms of black photosynthetic plankton and algae would be a marine biologist's dream, though V added it was unlikely that whatever life swam beneath the blood-tinged waters – on account of the red glare above the atmosphere - would resemble lifeforms on Earth, physically or behaviorally. The subsolar axial side, crowned by permanent ultraviolent light, was an ecosystem teeming with choice Yautja prey. Yautja preferred Ywsa's environment for hunting because of its large axial tilt, the subsolar point providing plenty of prey opportunity with minimal exertion and the subpolar point providing a challenge in prey that shared the Yautja's thermal vision.

Looking down upon my bare arms and legs, trying not to think about what had become of my suit or who would be wearing it now, I replied, "No suit."

Gikvaris motioned for me to move past him with a gentle turn of his head and as I slipped around him he turned to follow on my heels after sealing the airlock. I veered to the left to head toward the crew quarters that lined the curved corridor, but the heavy thumping of Gikvaris' feet came to an abrupt halt before he let out a firm 'h'ko'.

I turned and regarded him for a moment, waiting for him to provide some vague reason why my previous quarters were no longer available, but he nodded toward the opposite corridor before heading in that direction. I followed him into his quarters, somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to remain alone with my thoughts, but also terrified what would happen when Gikvaris uncovered the secret I was carrying _inside_ of me. He was bound to find out, whether by driving it out of me with an intense interrogation about what had transpired after he left the clinic, by equally intense staring to prompt a voluntary outpouring of information, or whenever V stopped running out of clever linguistic diversions and Kal'ar got around to transmitting a message from the clanship commanding Gikvaris to cut this Bad-blood pup out of me.

He placed his hand against the small of my back and chuffed, jutting his chin toward his armor stand. As I came closer to it I saw his gift for me, a gunmetal grey suit with the telltale signs of having been fashioned by Kyhemeda. I ran my fingers down the length of the suit and the extra layer of interwoven d'lex fibers reinforcing the knees, elbows, and abdomen.

"Suit on."

I turned and met him with a wide grin.

"Before atmosphere breach." He trilled lightly, surely recalling how I had been batted like a Ping-Pong ball against the loading bay walls my first time breaching atmosphere.

As the clanship was already orbiting Ywsa I knew Gikvaris intended to launch the drop pods within the hour. I unhooked my suit from its stand and hurried into the washroom, relieved to slip into something that didn't make the secret I was carrying so exposed. By V's estimation I was in the earliest stage of pregnancy. This pup was but a few days old, but even carrying a microcosm of life plagued me with paranoia. Even while crossing the hangar bay I was suspicious that Gikvaris might be able to detect the tiny, foreign embryo through the bandwidth of his infrared vision. I was suspicious that he would smell it – the scent of a strange Yautja male. I zipped up my suit and met Gikvaris in the corridor, feeling somewhat better now that the apex of my thighs and whatever scented hormones might be seeping out from between them was contained.

He handed me a helmet he was holding and trilled as I took is cautiously and eyed him curiously.

"H'ko thermal vision." He tapped his talon against the glazed visor. " _Guan_ vision."

Ah. Night vision. It was a start. A hell of a start considering I had earned myself a lot of bumps, bruises, and scrapes feeling my way through the dark, oftentimes barely missing a tree before bumping face first into a living, breathing, afterwards bristling one. It also meant that Gikvaris wouldn't restrict me to the tropical paradise biome of Ywsa. Not that I minded the prospect of basking in actual sunlight after what felt like an eternity in depressing and physically oppressing artificial light, but it was in those languid moments I might find my mind sinking back into dangerous depths. I needed the distraction a hunt would provide. The focus and readiness that hunting in total darkness required to keep my mind from dipping into an abysmal pool of self-reflection.

"Kv'var. Then return to ship."

I nodded. Wasn't disappointed to hear that after our first pass at replenishing reserves we would return to the transport ship. I wanted to set my feet on solid ground again and explore, but I also didn't want to roll out a sleeping mat and fall asleep under the same stretch of stars more serious threats than a wandering Yellowstone bear following the scent of an unkempt campsite skulked about under. And while Gikvaris preferred to bask in the heat of Hell I was pretty sure Ywsa's biome of eternal darkness wasn't the sort of conditions Gikvaris preferred to hunker down in.

When it was time to descend to Ywsa it was no surprise that only Gikvaris' most promising students were permitted to use the drop pods while the rest of us shuttled onto the cramped scout ship and landed thirty clicks away from Ywsa's paradisial border. Stepping out of the scout ship the blinding gale of rain was more intimidating than the endless chasm of darkness stretching north. Helmet on and focusing the range of its night vision feature I could see Ywsa's chaotic terrain; a jumble of ridges, cracks, and plains hedged by mountain ranges that vaulted and plunged at various intervals in a woven zigzag pattern of jagged rock.

Gikvaris nudged me with his elbow and I clumsily turned my head, my helmet an uncomfortable contraption I would need to find my rhythm with, and looked at him. He handed me a thick metal cuff and tapped his wrist gauntlet.

"Gkinmara."

"Why?" I motioned toward his bio-mask. He didn't need to track me when he had _that._

"Rain interferes with thermal imaging." He gestured to my suit. "D'lex mesh between layers of suit. D'lex block infrared."

Ah. A double disadvantage for the seemingly insoluble Yautja.

I smiled, though its teasing sentiment was masked by my helmet. "What's the matter? Afraid I might cut and run?"

"Can try."

He left my side without overseeing the employment of his tracking device, perhaps not inclined to impede my leaning toward wandering if only to test his own skill in light of the environmental odds against him. And with a twinge of sorrow I recalled how Kch'lo had asserted his own willingness to accept the challenge I presented when contemplating making a mad dash toward the drop shaft instead of facing Chakuube. _Can try,_ he had retorted confidently in response to my 'challenge'.

Rebuffing the inner voice giving serious consideration to such a temptation, I whispered, "Another day," before pushing my fist through the cuff. My days of leaving everything to chance was behind me for now. Taking a gamble in testing a Yautja's temper would have consequences for someone else besides me for the next nine months.

With Gikvaris ahead of the group and presumably too involved with handling the many aspects of Ywsa's volatile atmosphere while keeping a short leash on the Yautja under his watch until they were accustomed to the terrain he would have little time to get back to the way things had been when it had been just him and I on the preserve. I caught up with Cz'ha at the tail end of the tight formation and tapped the kit hooked to his belt at his side.

"More to chiva training than killing." Cz'ha trilled. "What good is flaunting trophy when ship runs out of fuel and am left stranded?"

"We came here for fuel?"

"Harvest plutonium for fission power system and tungsten ore for fusion reactor. Is necessary with successive deceleration and reacceleration. Reactor burns most fuel when powering up and down in short intervals." He tapped his shoulder cannon and trilled again. "Must ensure ship is operable first. Collect trophies after." Again another menacing trill that reminded me that for all of Cz'ha's progress he was still a bloodthirsty youngling.

"So I see Gikvaris has warmed up to the idea of you having a cannon, huh?" It hadn't escaped my notice that this was a new addition to his armor. "I guess Gikvaris couldn't resist breaking his kiddies into mastering his favorite weapon."

"Believe Gikvaris has patience to watch un-Blooded chisel at rock for ore?"

I shook my head. He didn't even have the patience for untangling knotted cables.

"Maybe scampering off isn't such a bad idea."

Cz'ha chirred. "Out there? Out there is nothing."

I was sure he was right. Endless darkness paired with an endless onslaught of rain was all that was within sight. I might have a better time watching Cz'ha blow a hole in the side of the mountain than hopping from rock to rock on my own.

"Can keep watch for tarei hsan." I followed his pointed finger as his arm extended toward the range. "Burrow in deep crevices. Seismic vibrations allows tarei hsan to hunt without leaving burrows. When food is scarce tarei hsan hunt in lower valley. Can detect heat signature in soil hours after prey has left area."

"Yeah…sounds like a lot of fun." Couldn't wait to keep my eyes peeled for monsters that might prefer human flesh over the prickly hide of a Yautja.

"Tarei hsan meat useless, but heads are prized trophy."

Though there was no automated lights to provide me a sense of time as it did off-planet I surmised that Cz'ha and the Yautja tasked with extracting the juice for the reactors powering the ship had worked well into 'the morning' before Gikvaris recalled them to the ship. I helped Cz'ha make a final pass at sifting through the heap of rubble to ensure not a grain of precious metal was left behind before we began the half-mile hike back to the scout ship. It was a rather small distance considering what I had walked when searching for Gikvaris on Yaut, but spending hours on end crouching, bending, and sorting left me utterly spent. And if I thought there was a chance I could drag my feet all the way back the rain made that impossible, forcing me to take one careful step after another to keep from slipping and busting my face on the loose rocks of the valley floor.

After reaching the scout ship and returning to the transport ship, too tired to even move my mouth to speak I gave Cz'ha a weary salute before trudging down the corridor to Gikvaris' quarters. Ignoring my rumbling stomach I headed straight into the washroom, unhooking and removing my helmet before stripping away my suit. Black dust flew up as soon as my suit slapped against the ground, mocking me as it formed a cloud around me before drifting down and settling against the silver plated floor. The floor and my suit would have to be cleaned but even thinking about bending over and reaching down to do so wasn't without its heckling implications. Shrugging it off for the time being I turned on the water and slid down the beveled slope, propping my back against the curved wall and watching the water slowly rise and sweep the gritty dust from my legs as it washed over me.

After an hour drifted by and my fingertips had swelled into bulbous prunes I climbed out of the basin and plunged headfirst into the covering I had disrobed from earlier. Gikvaris should have returned to the room by now, dismantling his armor before heaving himself onto the bed and diving straight into the sort of beauty rest a killing machine required. But his armor stand was as empty as his bed. It wasn't like him to keep from asserting his claim over the bed and relegating me to my corner of the room. Curiosity eclipsing exhaustion, I slinked out into the corridor and went about the mission of finding Gikvaris. It wouldn't be as easy as finding him on the scout ship where taking a few steps lead to us practically bumping into each other, but the transport ship was basically no more than a split level dome with the lower level compartments housing the reactors and nuclear turbines.

"Cz'ha running schematics of transport ship?"

I turned around and watched Gikvaris come into view as he rounded the corridor, the ship's lights dimmed so that only the red lights that ran along the bottom border of the walls made detecting his movement possible.

"Yautja not tracking ooman. Ooman tracking Yautja this time." I smiled. "Didn't take as long as I expected."

He was grinding a rag between his hands as he brushed by me. "Heard tiny ooman's stomach rumbling over hum of reactor."

I was sure he had.

I followed him into the mess hall and hopped up onto the counter as Gikvaris rummaged through containers, handing me one filled with unsliced naxa while looking for something more appetizing for himself. I fumbled with the orange-sized naxa, digging my nails into its coarse rind before Gikvaris plucked it out of my hand, still picking through dwindling food reserves as he balled his fist and pierced the rind with his talons. He handed it back and with an elated smile I dug my fingers into the holes and began peeling the rind away to reveal those sweet, supple vesicles that had become a staple for me.

In between bites, my left cheek crammed with as many slices as my voracious appetite could handle, I moved to make light conversation. "Watched all night for tarei hsan. Didn't see a one."

"Tarei hsan spotter, sei-i?"

"I guess. Wasn't much to spot, though."

Gikvaris trilled low and long, his mandibles clicking furiously.

"What?" Leaning against the counter now in a fit of Yautja laughter I flicked a rind at him. _"What?!"_

"Why Cz'ha need spotter for tarei hsan?" He tossed a piece of rjet into his mouth and trilled. "Tarei hsan – bugs."

"Bugs?"

"Tiny bugs." He gestured at me then lifted his hand and extended his finger. "Smaller than Yautja talon."

I huffed through gritted teeth and set the rest of my naxa down on the counter, suddenly having lost my appetite. I wondered how many of the others had known about Cz'ha's ruse and were trilling on account of my vain, diligent watch.

"May-be Cz'ha keep tiny ooman out of hair by keeping busy looking for _deadly_ tarei hsan."

He let out another light trill but instead of my face reddening with humiliation I was actually glad to hear Gikvaris trilling again, even if he found my gullibility endlessly amusing. I was so busy musing about it that I hardly noticed the soft, golden spheres of his eyes narrow into two menacing slits of black.

"Skin has paled." He grazed his finger against my cheek. "Ex-see-ah ill?"

I leaned my forehead against my palm and closed my eyes to fight a sudden bout of nausea. Gikvaris having noticed before it even hit me was alarming because if he could detect this mild sensation already there was little hope of keeping him in the dark as to my pregnancy much longer.

"Just…" I clawed at any excuse to pivot his suspicion away. "I'm uh….just exhausted."

"Stay behind next excursion?" He wedged my chin between his fingers and turned my face from side to side, not completely convinced exhaustion was behind my sudden loss of color.

I gently batted him away. "I'm fine." I slid off the counter and crossed the room and when I reached the door, not hearing his heavy footsteps behind me, called back to him, "You coming?"

Back in the room I swiped a pelt from his pallet and headed to that old familiar corner of mine before hunkering down. As I smoothed the folds of the thick hide against the floor Gikvaris entered the room and paused, chirring lightly before approaching his armor stand.

I watched him unhook every clasp and strap of his meticulously fastened armor and the methodical care in which he strung up his metal housing. It was easier being crammed like sardines. It made pretending we were still gallivanting across the galaxy while Kch'lo was still tending to his Ancients that much more believable. It slapped a band-aid over a gaping wound and the infection I wasn't willing to admit had been festering. And I remembered how this, this very way of living, was all I wanted after Kal'ar discarded me. Kch'lo had the means and the clout to transfer his ownership of me to Chakuube and permit me to live out my days in pampered bliss, but he transitioned me into a position he knew I was meant for. It was a gift, but I didn't know how much longer I would be able to enjoy it once Akra'on let the cat out of the bag. These Yautja liked their pregnant females close, not travelling alongside un-Blooded or accompanying them on expeditions. And then there was that sickly way Ayida had been in that kept gnawing at my conscious – the precursor to pregnancy woes that would soon befall me. Never mind trying to convince Gikvaris I was up to hiking miles of uneven terrain while fighting the urge to vomit every step of the way. How the hell would I fit into my suit?

Modestly covered in a loincloth Gikvaris headed in the direction of his pallet but paused in front of me.

"Come." He nodded toward his pallet.

"I told you it's nothing." I propped myself up on my elbow. "I don't like it when you pity me, either."

"H'ko," he said plainly. "H'ko pity. Honor of kv'var n'yaka-de is no longer between us."

Though I knew it wasn't an intentional slight his words wounded me. Gikvaris was many things, but above all he was honorable. Rather than leaving me to the hellacious cramps that had plagued me during our journey back to the clanship he carried me in the middle of the night to his bed and took my place on the floor. Gikvaris could have remained in the bed and Kch'lo would have been none the wiser, but Gikvaris knew that _I_ would know. Sharing a bed with Gikvaris tonight didn't and wouldn't make us lovers, but I could see the foolishness in my sleeping on the floor when there was a perfectly good and comfortable bed I didn't have to salivate over sleeping in anymore.

As I paddled through the turbulent current of introspective thought Gikvaris was patiently waiting for me to join him on the bank, though visibly indicating I didn't have the option of turning back and sleeping on the floor tonight. I slowly lifted myself off the floor and made my way over to the pallet, eyeing him suspiciously as if at any moment he would start trilling before he flung another pelt at me, his only concern that I would freeze to death without something to cover with rather than another stiff neck upon waking. But he waited at the edge of the bed until I lowered myself and turned over on my side, facing away from him, before he lowered himself beside me, keeping a narrow space between us. His newfound gentleness should have felt like a sickening dose of pity, but I was relieved he was deliberately smoothing his jagged edges as if sensing my emotional instability; curbing his characteristic manner of prying the root of my inward frustrations out of me. I was fragile and one brush of his thorny irritability against my bubble-like exterior would release the emotional turmoil churning inside of me. For both of our sakes I was glad he chose sleep instead.

* * *

 **I wanted Ayida more than I had wanted anything else before in my entire life**. I wanted her to talk me down off the ledge when nausea made it impossible to get up from the washroom floor and the only thing keeping a miserable bout of dry-heaving at bay was curling up against the cold metal tiles. I wanted her to smooth back my hair when my forehead began to sweat and my mouth filled with saliva just before my already-empty stomach emptied itself again, ejecting acidic bile at the mere whiff of naxa. I wanted her to hold my hand as I sat down on a boulder while Cz'ha hammered away at more rocks, my helmet removed so that the cold rain soothed the continual, shallow spells of queasiness while the hard pelts of raindrops against my skin kept me from sinking into an exhaustion I couldn't seem to shake yet couldn't give into with so many watchful eyes.

I wanted her to assure me that being pregnant didn't meant I would have the nose of a bloodhound forever. That the repugnant scents that filled my nostrils at every turn would fade and the smells I was sure without a shadow of a doubt existed, yet couldn't locate their source, would diminish and not force me to question my sanity every time I started sniffing objects and surfaces. I felt like I was slipping into the depths of madness, certain that the trophies tacked to the walls still had residuals of rotting flesh within the pockets of their hollow eyes or that whoever had cleaned the heads of their kills hadn't done a good enough job scraping out the brain matter. I could smell the mold on the leafy greens Cz'ha stuffed into his mouth, going as far as snatching a bunch from the hand poised at his mouth to inspect the leaves for mold spores, yet finding none. I had poked my head into a heat register on more than one occasion, convinced some alien critter had died and its rotting carcass was now filtering through the ship's system.

When my insides felt like they were moving, that my muscles were spreading and my guts were going to pour out between my legs, I wanted Ayida to look me in the eyes and swear to me that my body wasn't going to expel my insides to make room for this pup. That every muscle of my abdomen hadn't turned to jelly and that tingling sensation I felt between my legs was just due to an increase in hormones, not some sick side effect that meant my major or minor labia - or both - were going to fall off.

And then I wanted her to give me the cure for that invasion of hormones. With the hormones, aside from being terribly irritable, sensitive, and introspective all at once came the heightened awareness of the overwhelming male presence; the mortifying appeal of the more masculine Yautja I had never before given so much as a passing glance at. And then there was Gikvaris, the most masculine of them all; the symmetry of his face and his elongated tusks, the defined lines of his pectoral muscles and, when not overwhelmed by the shame in sneaking a glance at, the chiseled network of muscles that formed in his calves and climbed up to his thighs. The aching disappointment when my eyes slammed into a wall of loincloth before cursing myself for even feeling remotely frustrated that my determined curiosity had been thwarted yet again.

Never mind when Gikvaris took more than a fleeting glance at me. There was now a tingling surge of tremors that shot up from my lower back and ran the length of my spine whenever Gikvaris even so much as touched me. He was starting to notice it, too – the too-quick physical response his entering a room prompted; the extended lingering in spite of a mounting temper induced and amplified by his stubborn students that had previously driven me into the far reaches of any spacecraft we occupied to avoid. Noticing more than anything else was the sudden onset of modesty and a demand for privacy. Having dismissed any provocative repercussions my traipsing across the room naked would give way to, Gikvaris couldn't so much as catch me with the cords of my covering untied. My actions were reckless and unexplainable. I had no idea why my body was being coerced into behaving so erratically, so traitorously.

Then of course those several weeks of misery finally came to a head. Then whatever peculiar behavior Gikvaris took notice of but didn't pry into mattered little. Didn't matter at all. I had asked Cz'ha where Gikvaris had disappeared to only because I had been struck by a hormone-induced infatuation. Gikvaris' comings and goings had been of little concern to me before, but his sudden absence from his perch overlooking the final extraction of ore consumed me. I was starting to hate myself for it. It was a wonder Cz'ha hadn't suspected the reason behind my bizarre mannerisms or truthfully even take notice of them, but then if not blaring at a high decibel in their faces, when did young males ever notice a female's emotional upset?

"Return to transport ship."

"Oh."

"Is good thing he entrusts your care to me. Am sure you prefer my company over Kal'ar's."

 _"What?!"_

Cz'ha's head swiveled his head in my direction.

"Kal'ar is here?!"

"H'ko. Not here. Clanship."

I huffed while furiously throwing my arms up in the air. I shoved my helmet back on my head and snapped it in place before scurrying down the heaps of rubble.

"Egg-see-ah!"

Cz'ha chased after me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him.

"Can not go to transport ship." He pointed up. "H'ko scout ship."

I tore my arm away from him, angrier that he was right than I was with him interfering.

"Why has Kal'ar come?!" I demanded.

"Egg-see-ah…" He placed his open hand against his chest. "Not fear. Gikvaris keep safe. Cz'ha keep safe. All un-Blooded keep safe."

I shook my head amidst a flurry of tears, but not even his chirring, that sympathetic whirring of a tentative, listening ear could sway me from loosening my hold on the secret budding within me. Not matter how badly I wanted to. No matter how desperately I wanted to speak the words as if doing so would restore the sanity lost from inwardly warring with myself.

"Gikvaris return soon." Cz'ha set his hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly, nodding back toward the mountain.

Cz'ha was barely able to concentrate as I paced back and forth, panic building as the hours stretched on endlessly. I knew V wouldn't be able to protect my secret for long. I was surprised he had been able to for as long as he did, but somehow I imagined escaping its truth. The database would become infected with a virus and the data lost. Or Akra'on would keel over and take the information to his grave with him. But for all my wishful thinking I was aware my stomach would out me long before Akra'on did.

More hours droned by before a ship landed by the worksite, but it wasn't Gikvaris'. As soon as I saw it I knew who it belonged to. Knew who it _had_ belonged to. Cz'ha immediately placed himself in front of me as the bridge lowered and Suharek approached. Flanked by two soldiers, Suharek must have expected interference from Cz'ha and the rest of Gikvaris' un-Blooded, which was a momentary, fleeting relief that what Cz'ha said had been true: he, Gikvaris, and the rest of his un-Blooded comrades would protect me as though I had been adopted into their fold. Even Suharek knew it.

"Ex-see-uh…"

Suharek nodded but I found his greeting condescending in light of recent events. He wasn't surprised I didn't return the gesture.

"Kal'ar will speak with you." He gauged any reaction his statement might have elicited, but I didn't give him one.

"I want to see Gikvaris first."

Suharek trilled lightly. "You may speak with Gikvaris later. Kal'ar will speak with you now."

He motioned for his two towering bodyguards to move forward and collect me, but I moved forward before they could have the pleasure of digging their fingers into my flesh. I turned briefly to pacify Cz'ha's furious rumble, flagging his budding aggression down with my hands. I wanted him to understand that it was my choice to go with Suharek. There was no avoiding the truth of my condition a moment longer.

Pleased that neither I nor Cz'ha offered any resistance Suharek called off his dogs and escorted me into the ship. We ascended Ywsa's turbulent atmosphere and docked in the clanship's hangar bay. Oddly the panic that had consumed me before boarding Kch'lo's transport ship – it would always be his, regardless of what Yautja feigned ownership – fizzled and was replaced by an otherworldly sense of duty. I didn't understand what in fact this duty was, but I wasn't going to question it. I needed every drop of self-control I could harness which meant embracing emotions stemming from unknown origins.

I followed Suharek into Kal'ar's unadorned, overcast council chamber. Upon seeing Gikvaris, Suharek clamped his hand around my wrist to keep me from going to him, his rough handling prompting a vicious snarl from Gikvaris. Suharek deposited me at the base of the steps leading up to Kal'ar's embellished chair before joining a select few Elders hovering nearby. Among them, to my ire, was Dalani.

It felt like a lifetime had passed between the time I had last looked into Kal'ar's eyes and looking up into them now. I had forgotten how vibrant they were; how they were set against a perfect backdrop of cream. How the stripes of red that adorned his body from the chest down seemed to add to the richness of his gold irises. For a moment I had forgotten the unspoken contention between us, but it was apparent that I was at his mercy yet again as he looked down upon me from his lofty chair while I was on my knees looking up at him. The first time he destroyed my world I had another who promised to build me a new one. Kch'lo had seen it coming the second time and ensured Gikvaris would be able to continue his world-building work. I was sure that Kal'ar had summoned me here to do it again, to tear down the walls I continually tried to rebuild after tornado after tornado tore them down. I never hated him before this moment, but what I felt in my heart in this moment was familiar to hate's hardening tendrils.

"Gikvaris." Kal'ar motioned for his hunt brother to step forward but held up his hand to keep Gikvaris several feet from me. "Ooman pet gestates Yautja suckling."

The staccato chatter of Yautja erupted but Kal'ar lifted his hand and silenced them. Though he was speaking to Gikvaris his eyes never left mine. I thwarted his attempt to shatter my reserved composure by lowering my eyes to the floor.

"Cannot permit Bad-blood to enter Thwei clan."

At the implication of removing Kch'lo's pup from my womb I met Kal'ar's triumphant stare with narrowed eyes. If Kal'ar wanted this pup dead Akra'on would have to kill me along with my pup. I wouldn't let anyone, superior alien race or not, extinguish a growing life within me.

"Once Akra'on removes this blight from our midst your ooman pet may return to you."

"H'ko." Gikvaris stepped forward, slipped his hand around my arm, and pulled me up to his side. "Ooman Ex-see-ah h'ko bear Kch'lo pup." He placed his splayed fingers against my stomach. "Bears pup of Gikvaris."

Kal'ar cocked his head, the left side of his tresses spilling down over his shoulder and chest. "Gikvaris is sire of ooman pet's suckling?" Suspicion, teetering on outright disbelief, bled through the tone of his words.

"Sei-i."

I turned to look at Gikvaris but his eyes were now locked with Kal'ar's. With his arm firmly wrapped around me I felt every taut muscle constricted by building rage. A deadly rage. Gikvaris was beyond bristling. At any moment I fully expected him to tear off the skin holding Hell's army at bay and unleash decades of pent-up rage. Unleash the fury of being recalled and thrust into a political war he had deserted years ago.

"Leave the ooman," Kal'ar said while standing. He descended the steps of his lofty platform and stood before Gikvaris, their chests and shoulders squared; mandibles splayed and tresses crested at the crowns of their heads.

A smooth, syrupy voice slipped through the rabid snarling exchanged between clean leader and Elite, its mellifluousness more nauseating than smelling rotting rjet.

"Should rip it from her womb just to be sure."

Gikvaris pressed me against his side as soon as my body lurched toward Dalani. It wasn't her suggestion that angered me or that she had spoken as though she had the same authority as Suharek, but that she had called Kch'lo's pup an 'it'.

"Exia has every reason to claim the pup was sired by Gikvaris…And Gikvaris, unwise to the depths a whore will go to keep her pretense of honor, will believe anything she says. Surely honor will compel Gikvaris to ensure the blood of a traitor does not enter the clan." A wicked smile, meant for me as Kal'ar had not taken his eyes off of Gikvaris, formed across her face. "Does not enter the line of our clan leader."

It was appalling that Suharek allowed her speak as though she had the clan's best interests at heart. Allowed her to speak at all; to meddle in Yautja affairs. Especially when considering he knew just how widespread the tumors of her cancerous defamations against the Yautja were.

I leaned closer to Gikvaris, though I didn't care if any of them heard me. "You broke Cz'ha's mandible for less."

A ferocious snarl erupted from Kal'ar before Suharek intervened and dismissed the Elders. Gikvaris gave me a nod before turning and leaving also, surely confirmation that I should follow his lead when alone with Kal'ar. But it was hard to say how I would react while alone with him. Anger had a terrible way of making me utter the vilest of truths.

When the room was empty and the council doors closed Kal'ar spoke again.

"Affirm that pup belong to Gikvaris?" Kal'ar trilled lightly before I could answer and made his way back up to his chair.

It was difficult for me to lie, though there was no conviction in deceiving Kal'ar. I wanted to boldly declare that the pup was Kch'lo's – that no matter what Kal'ar had done to Kch'lo, he hadn't completely taken him away from me. There was a piece of him in me. But I knew there was no stopping Kal'ar from ripping this pup out of me with his talons if he had to. If he wanted to. Gikvaris knew as much, that there wasn't much, if anything, that could stop a Yautja determined to eradicate something or someone, which is why I suspect he claimed sireship. And so I buried the truth, smothering a triumph I so desperately wanted to throw in Kal'ar's face.

"Sei-i," I said, my voice brittle. I cleared my throat and spoke again, this time steadier, more forceful. _"Sei-i."_

Leisurely settled in his chair, clicking his talons against the stone armrest, he eyed me curiously with a hint of amusement. Almost a purr, his soft trilling was confirmation that he found my declaration quite humorous. His flippancy was childish, something I would expect from Cz'ha. I could respect and admire a steadfast leader even if pitted against me, but one that mocked and toyed with his subjects – those who willingly and unwillingly served him – was not deserving of veneration. Customs and their strict upholding were and would always be what they were. If the penalty for a Bad-blood constituted eradicating his unborn pups, I understood. I didn't agree, but I understood and I would fight like hell to find a way around it. But it was the way Kal'ar handled this very matter, his arrogance permeating the room like noxious gas, gloating in such a violent and vile achievement that made it impossible for me to feel I owed him a shred of respect.

"If I were to bring Kch'lo back…Reinstate as Thwei Arbitrator…Still profess Gikvaris has sired your pup?"

I shook my head, holding back any expressional reaction that might give me away. "You will never undo what you have done…Even if you did, what was between Kch'lo and I is finished." I patted my abdomen. "Because of what you have done…and what _I_ had to do because of it…"

Kal'ar trilled and clicked his tusks rapidly. His tusks, though curved inward, were much smaller than Gikvaris' and lacked the yellow tinge of more distinguished Yautja even though they were the same age. It made me wonder if a Yautja's physical appearance was influenced by their choice in following the path of a warrior or that of a sedentary leader. Such as when humans aged more quickly by choosing a life of labor than those who did not know the fury of the sun's unforgiving rays against their skin while working indoors.

"Believe Kch'lo would be repulsed that pet has known another Yautja?" He trilled again. "Were not pure when given to Kch'lo. Did Kal'ar not know Ex-see-ah? And still Kch'lo received you."

"One may call himself a pilot…but merely sitting in the pilot's chair without ever having flown a ship does not make one a pilot."

His posture drained itself of arrogance and became rigid. "Gikvaris' un-Blooded…will confirm Ex-see-ah has worn Gikvaris' n'dui'se?"

Ah…the Yautja mating scent. A scent Kch'lo had bathed me in and insisted I wear like a badge of honor. I was doubtful Cz'ha or any of Gikvaris' un-Blooded students understood n'dui'se. I didn't even know if they had it at their age. But I did know that they hadn't ever turned their noses on account of smelling Gikvaris' on me as I walked by. _This_ was problematic if Kal'ar intended to interrogate them.

"Cannot say." I turned my eyes away, feigning modesty. "Gikvaris kept me close…so that…" I pretended to struggle with the words, to dawdle in speaking so licentiously. "So that nothing would impede a sudden…urge."

Kal'ar began to bristle, but I couldn't be sure if it was on account of striking an old, possessory chord or because my false pretense had fallen short and was now wholly transparent.

"Truth of sire will be revealed in due time." The grim truth of his statement smoothed his prickled hide. "Will Ex-see-ah bear pup with markings of Bad-blood or that of honored Elite?"

The certainty of the vindication he would have once the pup was born was visually satisfying for him. And as much as I didn't want to give his assurance purchase, his statement was nevertheless true. This much I had learned with Chakuube's pup who was a replica of his sire. Kch'lo's pup would be born with the deep red stripes that adorned the cream-colored hide of his sire. Gikvaris' hide resembled ivy leaves, a base of deep forest green mottled with pistachio. Kch'lo's irises, a pale green, appeared gray as they drank in the deep black of his pupils. Gikvaris' irises were amber, the vibrant orbs appearing as two spheres of gold. There was no hiding this pup's true sire, not when a Yautja's eidonomy was hitched entirely upon its sire.

"Is your only intention truly to keep the clan's honor intact…or do you do this simply because it angers you that I am carrying Gikvaris' pup…and not yours?"

Though Kal'ar's body remained perfectly still it was the brief, reptilian flicker of movement in his eyes that dismantled his hard, insouciant exterior. His tresses crested before he rose from his chair, poised in rigid fury before closing the distance between us, his feet barely grazing the steps on his way down. I flinched as his hand reached for me, but I knew better than to recoil, bearing down against that impulse to do so with every fiber of my being. There was little use resisting whatever a Yautja intended. In fact, resisting in even the slightest was sometimes more trouble, and always a guarantee of more pain, than what was initially in store.

He plunged his hand into the thick net of my hair, gathering a fistful of it before yanking his fist down so that my face turned up to his. He set his thumb talon against the nape of my neck, a cautionary gesture to dissuade me from backing away. It was ironic that it had come to this; his finding it necessary to forcibly restrain me now when the very essence that drew him to me in the first place had been my docile nature.

"Have inquired of Ancients…" With his free hand he cupped my face, the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger cradling my chin. "…as to legitimacy of Kch'lo's transfer of property." Kal'ar trilled, his mandibles moving perfunctorily. "Will not be long now. Kch'lo's claim…Gikvaris claim…will be dissolved. If true Ex-see-ah bears Gikvaris' pup…if no ooman bearer can rear, will permit Ex-see-ah to rear. Then you will be returned to me."

"Can you be so certain you can trust me?" I swallowed hard, the angle of my neck making my breathing much harder to regulate. "You wanted a docile mate. One that wouldn't harm your pup. How can you be sure that I won't now?"

The intended threat I fired at him like a volley of arrows in the hopes of piercing his firm resolve wilted upon contact. The best I would ever be able to do was irritate and infuriate a Yautja, but best him? Even backed into a corner it didn't make sense why I even tried. Even if I was sure I had gained the upper hand in some stretch of the imagination the Yautja saw themselves as gods above my kind. Even if I _had_ gained the upper hand a Yautja would never concede. While I danced in victory he would circle around me like a crocodile, waiting for that one, careless slip of the foot before devouring whatever triumph I believed I had attained.

"Have heard wisdom of Suharek's counsel. Have given oomans too many concessions. H'ko better than eta. Forget they are asegian. Ooman has come between clan leader and Arbitrator. Ooman has come between Elder and Elite. Oomans seek to weaken Yautja un-Blooded. Fight as equals when oomans are _lower_ than asegian. Must remind oomans of place." He swiped his thumb across my cheek, the gesture void of any tender sentiment. "Yautja male deeply honored when chosen by Yautja female. Was _highest_ honor. Is now high honor for ooman to bear Yautja pups. H'ko honor for Yautja."

I was sure that if Gikvaris was beside me in this moment he would have planted his hand over my mouth to keep it from opening, but without the censorship of his hand unbridled malice poured out of my mouth and I was both helpless and indifferent to stop myself.

"I am honored to carry Gikvaris' pup. He is an honorable Yautja. It was an honor for Ayida to carry Shunlau's and the many others before him. Many oomans have carried your clan's pups with honor…but none have carried yours. Not even Suon'var's Yautja female would carry yours. Not – "

A tingling, itchy sensation fanned out against the side of my face before I felt the heat. Moments after the initial welting came the intense throbbing from blood rushing into my cheek. As I lifted my hand to my cheek Kal'ar released his hand from behind my head and stepped back. There was no sign of remorse for crossing a line the Yautja had drawn between human females and males. There was only the tall, still posture of justification. And I understood now why Gikvaris had been so disappointed with his hunt brother, his clan leader. Kal'ar's veering away from Yautja tradition in settling affairs jehdin-jehdin had been a sore spot for Gikvaris, an indication that Kal'ar had lost his way in the mire of politics, but up until now I hadn't given Gikvaris' disappointment much purchase. Now I understood. Kal'ar was clipping more than just one stalk of tradition. How long would it be until he completely unearthed it by its roots?

"Inclined to consider ooman Dalani's words. That my kv'var mei'hswei does not willingly deceive his leader, but is deceived by ooman pet." A guttural hiss escaped his throat. "Would be convinced if Gikvaris' deep disgust of oomans was not notorious after sire suffered dishonor at hands of oomans. Is reason Gikvaris not before take ooman mate."

Kal'ar issued a sharp click with his lower tusks, allowing the weight of his revelation to sink in before emitting a deep rumble and moving off. His heavy footsteps rapped against the polished, plated floor before the hissing of hydraulic air pressure doors erupted. Kal'ar had allowed me to use the thread of Gikvaris' assertion to build onto and weave an intricate tapestry around before tugging at the thread he knew was flawed all along and would unravel the rest. No matter how clever I thought I had been Kal'ar maintained the upper hand by knowing the intimate details of a Yautja, details that defined and drove his behavior that I had only ever been able to speculate on. I had fallen into the snare of assumption, taking Gikvaris' absence of pups as the cost of pursuing a higher calling. I had mistaken his choice of ignoring the perks he was entitled to as Elite, the freedom to stroll into the common room and choose a mate at random, for ambition when clearly, as Kal'ar professed, he steered clear of the common room and its carnal pleasures out of revulsion, not because his duties gave him no time to indulge. I had no reason to believe Kal'ar's disclosure was a lie. If anything, his revelation supported his arrogance even more.

A single tear slid down my cheek, the friction of which, however gentle, a burning brush against my throbbing flesh. I wiped it away before it slipped from my jaw onto my shoulder and turned to leave the council chamber, the patter of my footsteps barely audible despite the vast, empty silence. To my relief the corridor was empty. I couldn't stomach the humiliation of anyone seeing me like this, though I knew it was inevitable as I made my way toward the hangar bay. To minimize the appearance of my swollen cheek I smoothed my hair down over the side of my face. It was a haphazard attempt, but it was better than having the red imprint of five Yautja fingers against my skin like some abstract piece of art.

As soon as I passed between the massive columns of the hangar bay entrance Gikvaris, no longer confined to his scout ship by Suharek's guards, barreled toward me. I lowered my head slightly, desperately trying to avoid providing him a full view of my face, staving off the inevitable for as long as possible. But rather than interrogating me on the spot he instead chose to usher me to the scout ship, leaving me by the airlock before slamming it shut and plodding into the control room. Moments later the ship animated and Gikvaris glided out of the clanship, not allowing the scout ship to completely fire up before gunning it as if trying to escape a nuclear blast.

In the moments before the scout ship latched onto the transport ship I fought to repress the tides of panic that began swelling in the face of the storm building in my not so distant future. There was an endless, vacuous stretch of space that swallowed any hope of outrunning what waited when I brought this pup to full term, adding to the already intense claustrophobia in being confined in Gikvaris' scout ship. Kal'ar's reason to terminate the offspring of a Bad-blood defied my human logic. There were droves of unwanted children on earth, but of those that were ultimately terminated, at the very least the decision had been made by their bearers. Blood did not determine a child's path. Even if Kch'lo was deserving of Bad-blood status his dishonor had not been transferred to his pup. But Kal'ar and his Elders were not a democracy. They would just as easily terminate this pup's life rather than ponder the soundness of their logic. And if Kal'ar succeeded in nullifying Kch'lo's transfer of property, declaring that his Bad-blood status predated its initial instatement to include every day that passed after His'tgar's attack so that my ownership was restored to Kal'ar…I knew I couldn't live like that. I wouldn't. And I would stuff Kal'ar's Yautja code of honor down his throat and blow myself up than live under that shadow of dishonor.

With the two ships connection now sealed both airlocks opened. Gikvaris stormed out of the control room like a freight train and herded me onto the transport ship before closing the airlock and turning his entire, festering attention to me. Now under the bright lights of the low ceiling that expelled every shadow from every nook and cranny of the ship that burning hostility edged toward explosive rage now that I could no longer hide the inflamed handprint painted across the side of my face.

Knowing Gikvaris would want a full accounting of what had transpired I moved my mouth to speak, but the words failed to take form. I didn't want to rehash the ugliness of our conversation and work myself into a frenzy by dissecting his every word, building flawless arguments to use against him my brain had failed to launch while actually in Kal'ar's presence. I didn't want to admit that the bond I believed Gikvaris and I shared was now somewhat tarnished in light of his 'notorious' dislike of humans. I couldn't be sure that what Kal'ar had said was entirely the truth, but however exaggerated, if at all, there surely was some measure of truth to it. Which made what Gikvaris had done for me even more unbearable. It stripped away his _wanting_ to do it and pared it down to obligation owed to a long gone hunt master, an obligation I was sure would wear on Gikvaris sooner than later.

A large, hard lump formed in my throat thinking about it, again rendering my voice useless, so I settled for clasping my arms around his massive body, my hands unable to meet at his back on account of his wide girth, and nestled against his chest rather than try in vain to form thoughts into words. I was clinging to the hope that I was reading into Kal'ar's words unnecessarily and that because Gikvaris' chest, rising and falling in rapid, shallow breaths before eventually falling into controlled, rhythmic exhales was proof that the human now clinging to him was not as repulsive to him as I was lead to believe.

* * *

 **It was foolish of me to have been baffled by Gikvaris' remarkable tailoring** skills given he was an artisan when it came to skinning and stringing up his kills. When he handed me what looked like the pelt of a black kitten I cringed, but he insisted that I take it and inspect it first rather than merely ogling it before passing judgment. Holding the swatch of fur by the corner as if it were contaminated with anthrax I lifted it and watched as the small swatch unfolded into what appeared to be a halter top. The cords, which were fished through the edge of the pelt at the collarbone felt like leather, but I was sure it was the dried, shredded sinew fibers of whatever animal had the unfortunate pleasure of crossing paths with Gikvaris. As functional and, to my liking, stylish as this primitive garment was it would leave a good portion of my midriff exposed. It was also missing its counterpart: a bottom. But Gikvaris was never one to keep me in suspense, perhaps because he knew by doing so it would lead to a game of Twenty Questions.

He extended the arm at his side and handed me another piece of his extraterrestrial take on human female apparel. I slung the top over my shoulder so that I could extend the bottom piece with both hands. Connected to a much thinner belt than those worn by the Yautja to carry their deadly wares was a piece of the same black pelt, stretched taut so that it would conform to my hips and upper thighs, not loose enough to become snagged on brush yet not restrictive enough to cut into my skin. Though reminiscently risqué considering wrapping myself in gauze had ignited a shit-storm I was both touched by his gift and entertained by it. Still inspecting and admiring his handiwork I laughed lightly, causing Gikvaris to let out a startled snort of offense.

"No, no!" I clutched the primitive miniskirt to my chest. "It's perfect."

Pensive and perhaps contemplating a very different response than the one he gave me, he turned toward his armor stand and headed in its direction. "H'ko need suit for Ywsa subsolar point."

While Gikvaris fastened his wrist gauntlets I slipped into the washroom and removed my shapeless covering and stepped into a more flattering one, though I was extremely uncomfortable with my midriff so exposed. I scooped up my covering off the floor and held it just below my breasts as I exited the washroom. I would be fine once Gikvaris and the others went their separate ways, leaving me to explore a small radius while they hunted exotic prey, but I was mortified even thinking about Cz'ha and the others seeing me so scantily clad. In an odd way Cz'ha was like a brother to me. An immature, obnoxious, impulsive brother, but a brother all the same. Even though I had learned from V's lessons that Yautja females were basically topless twenty-four seven, I was gawked at and visually picked apart enough because I was human. I didn't need to add to the inherent features I could do nothing about.

Finished 'suiting up' for an excursion to Ywsa's tropical biome, wearing no more than his net suit, belt, abdomen shield, and wrist gauntlets, Gikvaris waited for me by the door. With his head tilted he chirred, eyeing the heap nestled against my chest. He gripped the pelt and tugged on it, but I didn't resist his removing it. I didn't want to go flying across the room with it.

"Needs more." I patted my bare stomach. "Maybe just cut the arms and legs of my suit?"

Gikvaris released a multitoned chirr before lifting the bio-mask he was holding. He placed his hand over my stomach and the heat of his fingers radiated into my skin, melting away a stifling bout of insecurity.

"H'ko suit." Removing his hand from me he tapped his bio-mask before again splaying his fingers over my stomach. "Hult'ah."

"I don't understand."

I understood the word _hult'ah._ Gikvaris often instructed his students to divide into two groups with one group assigned to _kv'var –_ hunt - and the other to be their _hult'ah –_ watcher(s). I just didn't understand the context in which Gikvaris was now using the term.

"D'lex interfere thermal vision," he reminded me before bringing the mask over his face and connecting it. "Keep watch over pup."

Then he nodded and waited for me to do the same. To confirm that I understood there would be no more slipping into my suit and blocking whatever heat signature this growing pup emanated. So I nodded even though I had yet to process his self-imposed role as this pup's sire, whether it was because he had every intention of ensuring this pup's safety and health out of obligation to Kch'lo or because honor required it as my 'keeper'. I didn't have the courage to ask him. Not because I was afraid of asking him to be so candid with me, but because I was afraid of what his answer would be. I didn't want the answer to be either of those reasons. Although either reason was commendable they both lacked substance. I didn't want this to be a mindless task for him or worse, a burden. I already believed I was a burden to him simply by being human. But I had to remind myself that for all of the hatred imbibed in Kal'ar's words, Gikvaris had never hurt me in ways Kal'ar had. Ways I would expect someone with no love or deference for another to behave.

Clinging to the confidence Gikvaris had instilled with no more than the touch of his hand we met his anxious protégées on the scout ship and made the descent to Ywsa. Gikvaris landed the ship on the rocky terrain of one of numerous islands dividing an endless series of waterfalls and cataracts. Each waterfall bled into an intersecting canyon or a shallow drainage basin, similar to Iguazu Falls. While the n-Blooded fanned out across the juxtaposing islands, some making the descent to enter the rainforest from the opposite side of the river while others delved into its downward slope that formed at the backside of the waterfalls, Gikvaris stayed close as I made the downhill hike using a cataract with slower-moving water.

Albeit restricted to the shallow basin, the Gikvaris-approved zone I was limited to was teeming with enough visual and mental stimulation that it didn't bother me I wouldn't get to delve into the massive wall of vegetation only several yards away. As I busied myself kicking my feet around in the water a sudden gust of wind ripped through my hair before I heard the powerful thrust of an engine overhead. Following the scout ship with my eyes I watched it land several meters away from Gikvaris'. Too far away to ask Gikvaris who the new arrival was I lowered myself down onto a cluster of rocks jutting out of the shallow water and waited, using my hand to shield my eyes from the glare of sunlight. The familiar hulking form of a Yautja edged the cliff before a much smaller figure appeared. Definitely not Yautja.

As the two visitors made their way down the cascade it became clear that the small figure beside a bio-mask heralding Yautja was Ayida. I sprang up from the rocks and stepped down into the knee-high river, wading through it as fast as my legs were able to slice through the white, sauntering waters. Gikvaris issued a sharp rumble that ceased as soon as I slowed down. If he was this stringent with an embryo I couldn't imagine how rigid he would be when I was bursting at the seams pregnant. Though I wasn't sour about it. I had no idea how delicate a Yautja pup was at any stage and even if Gikvaris had no pups of his own he would have a better understanding of his care than I would.

Before we were even in reach of one another Ayida's arms were open and I just sank into them. I buried the side of my face against her chest, her wispy hair falling down over the other side like a curtain. Without withdrawing from her tight embrace I opened my eyes at the sound of splashing and watched as Shunlau crossed the shallow river stream and joined Gikvaris on the bank. Keeping us in their sights and intermittently scanning the area for some unknown, unseen threat they walked out of earshot, the evidence of their conversation marked only by the rapid movement of mandibles.

"Exia…"

Loathed to leave her embrace I pulled away to look at her. Her eyes were teeming with uncertainty; hesitation pulling her smooth features taut.

"Is it true? Can it really be?" Her eyes drifted down to my stomach, her hand poised to confirm what my mouth didn't move fast enough to.

"Pregnant? I didn't really think so at first. It was too impossible to believe to just…. _believe._ But then the nausea came…I threw up in my mouth at the sight of Naxa, Ayida. Naxa!"

Ayida smiled and took my hand, smoothing her thumb over it before leading me back toward the formation of the smooth, protruding rocks. She hiked up her covering before sitting down, stirring the waters that snaked around the rocks with her foot.

"And your pup…Gikvaris has sired it?" Doubt was threaded through her question.

I shrugged and sighed wearily. "You'd never know he didn't _."_

"I see." Her eyes fell to the same stretch of bank mine were fixed on, noticing Gikvaris' frequent probing. "Would not expect differently."

"Really? Every other Yautja seems to believe the Antichrist has taken up residence in my womb." I would never forget the look of outrage that had burned in the Elders' eyes upon learning it was possible I was carrying a pup, no less a 'bad-Blood' pup.

A light laugh rode the back of a shallow huff. "Gikvaris is a breed of his own. If such a thing is really possible…I guess you could say Gikvaris has a soft spot for outcasts seeing how he was once one himself."

It was hard for me to imagine Gikvaris an outcast considering his many accomplishments; his status among the clan. There wasn't too many outlets for a Yautja that lost his honor and since Gikvaris was an Elite it was difficult to imagine what he had done that had been deserving of social ostracism.

"Gikvaris' sire was a warrior. No aspirations to become an Elite or an Elder. Preferred the hunt and what it provided rather than what status would bring him. I do not know many other details other than that his sire was badly injured while on a hunt. Because he had lost his left eye…mostly _everything_ on the left side of his face…Elders and clan leader made him an eta. Yautja females desire pups with only the strongest Yautja males. Whether or not she truly felt shamed or if she feigned shame so that her own future remained intact, I guess we'll never know. Had Gikvaris still been in her womb when his sire was made an eta, Gikvaris would have been made eta, too. By then he was weaned and ready to return to Yaut with his bearer, but she refused to take him with her to rear him as was customary. Gikvaris' sire was Kch'lo's hunt brother. Many Elders took Yautja un-Blooded as students, but only the most promising Yautja came under Kch'lo's instruction. That is why Kal'ar and Gikvaris trained together. Honor between hunt brothers required Kch'lo to ensure Gikvaris was not left to starve or worse. But it was insight that drove him to rearing Gikvaris and training him alongside the next clan leader. Kch'lo knew the warrior Gikvaris' sire was."

Having been given yet another piece of this infinite Yautja puzzle it made sense why Kch'lo was beaming while watching Gikvaris in the kehrite. But in the same breath it was incredibly sad that Kch'lo's own flesh and blood had betrayed him, yet here on this very bank was a Yautja who shared no blood ties with Kch'lo but continued to honor him even when he was no longer obligated, by way of Bad-blood status, to continue doing so. It also filled in the gaps of Gikvaris' dislike of humans since they had apparently maimed his sire, unknowingly destroying his reputation as a warrior and setting him up for a lifetime of etahood.

"Many un-Blooded taunted Gikvaris. Mocked him. Tormented his sire for sport, too, and there was nothing Gikvaris could do to stop them."

"Why didn't Kch'lo intervene? He was his hunt brother, was he not?"

"And let Gikvaris believe that status is what gives one power? No…Kch'lo harnessed Gikvaris' rage and taught him how to be powerful in his own right. Shunlau told me that when Gikvaris was finally ready to fight jehdin-jehdin with those that had mocked him and publically beaten and humiliated his sire it was a bloodbath. Jehdin-jehdin is not like boxing. There is no referee to decide when too much is too much. And because un-Blooded are hot-heated and seemingly programmed to meet any challenge, even if the odds are against them, they agreed to fight jehdin-jehdin with Gikvaris. I've seen a few matches myself and you haven't seen Yautja rage until you've seen one. Especially if they've got a score to settle. Forget what you know about defending one's honor in a gentlemen's duel over some perceived slight. I was not even a twinkle in my father's eyes when Gikvaris settled those scores, but he somehow managed to reduce his generation, the last pureblooded Yautja, to less than a dozen."

"My god…The Elders let him?"

Ayida laughed. "Even in your short time here, have you learned nothing? Defeat is a weakness. Elders did not mourn the loss of nearly an entire clan generation because they would rather have one undisputable champion than an entire army of Yautja that could not withstand their brother. Gikvaris was only avenging his sire and to an extent, his own pride, but even if the Elders could have intervened they would not have. Gikvaris was siphoning out a weakness for them; weeding out those Yautja that might pose a risk for them in the future."

I spread my hands out on the rock behind me and leaned back, lifting my feet in and out of the water. I was content with asking no more questions of Gikvaris. I had my own scores to settle, my own battles to prepare for, than to toil in piecing together the same of Gikvaris' past.

It felt good to be on solid ground again. To feel the warmth of sunlight in my bones. This was the full measure of the taste I had had on Chakuube's clanship. Away from the sterility of metal walls and floors, the stifling fluorescent lights, the maddening automation of time, and a view that was as dysphoric as being imprisoned in the bowels of earth, I felt alive. Not existing on ephemeral adrenaline alone or forging blindly ahead in the hopes that it _had_ to be inevitable I would cross paths with something that ran in the vein of happiness eventually. Apart from the alien presence on the bank this place was as close to Earth as it got. Havasu Falls, Rio do Peixe, Lake Harmony, the Isle of Capri – their beauty had been bottled and poured out onto a single hemisphere. And this peace I had found in familiarity was but a fleeting pleasure as I would be pulled away from it back into the vacuum of space, pulled this way and that way while in the company of a species that scoured the universe for hidden gemstones of honor.

Not allowing my thoughts to linger on the impermanency of my present paradise I focused them on Ayida's being here which wasn't without its own sad implications.

"So Shunlau is a Lone Wolf now?"

Ayida smiled ruefully. "Not yet, but hopefully before I am too old to keep up with him." She shrugged, drawing her legs in front of her. "Shunlau came to speak with Gikvaris. Away from Elders. Away from Kal'ar. Kyhemeda is coming also."

I suspect if Ayida didn't know what was going on given how open Shunlau was with her, I didn't have a chance in hell at cracking that riddle and Gikvaris only kept me as close to the loop as he wanted me, but never in it.

Ayida took a deep breath before standing and untying the cords of her covering. She shimmied it down to her feet and stepped down into the water, lifting her arms over her head and stretching before wading into deeper water. I looked from her to Gikvaris and Shunlau, incredulous that Shunlau wasn't bristling or backing her against the face of the cliff while dangling a pelt in her face. Ayida, indifferent or oblivious to my astonishment, turned and motioned with her hand for me to join her.

"Ayida…You're…You're naked."

"And? I do not think the two of them are going to object. You are pregnant and I would be lucky if I had a single egg left in my ovaries."

"So that's it? As long as we're not in heat it's cool to let our junk hang out?"

"What?" She looked down and cupped her breasts. "You think another Yautja looking at _these_ bends them out of shape? Ex, they are not men. The most a Yautja will stare at your breasts is when you are nursing one of their pups and even then I am sure they are only looking to make sure their pup is getting enough nourishment. Apart from that…I imagine breasts are useless and uninteresting to them."

Even if I didn't want to believe her, Shunlau _wasn't_ paying any mind to her nakedness. And oddly, neither was Gikvaris. I was sure he would steal a glance as any man on earth might, but he didn't. So testing Ayida's theory and praying Ayida didn't have the sort of mean bone in her body to play such a wicked trick on me I stood up and removed my top first. I tossed it down on the rock and crossed my arms, waiting to see if that first step would have hell brought down on my head. When a minute passed by and no other sound other than Ayida's splashing erupted I unhooked the belt of my makeshift skirt and removed it.

"Exia!" Ayida splashed water at me. _"They don't care!"_

My heart was racing. I did a little jig in place to psyche myself up before stepping down into the water, fearing most that my undressing had gone unnoticed up until now because I hadn't made any sound in doing it. Now, confronted with splashing through the water and drawing Gikvaris' overprotecting eye, I was chickening out.

"Gikvaris!" Ayida shouted.

"Ayida! Shut the fuck up!" I hissed.

I cringed when Shunlau and Gikvaris turned to face us. I held my breath just in case the sound of it escaping would muffle the sound of a charging Yautja.

"Exia is hungry!" Ayida shouted, her hands framing the sides of her mouth. A second jab, of course. Yautja had excellent hearing. She didn't need to shout or use her hands as an amplifier.

Expecting Gikvaris to deflate in a groan of irritation I was rather surprised to watch as he withdrew his combistick and nodded for Shunlau to follow him into the rainforest.

"Imagine how pissed he's gonna be when I can't stomach whatever he brings back."

"Ah…" Ayida was well accustomed with morning sickness, though by now after having her own children and an entire litter of pups I would have thought she had found a cure. "A few of my mates preferred going off-ship and bringing back fresh kills rather than feeding me weeks-old clanship rjet. If you are anything like me, when pregnant _everything_ tastes and smells like copper. The last thing you want to do is eat meat. But when they prepared it for me, the best part of a kill, it was the best food I ever tasted." Ayida smiled weakly. "We don't really have a choice, Ex. They want their pups to have meat….lots of it."

"Don't they know what a Saltine is?" Eating crackers had nixed nausea for a few pregnant women I had known. If the Yautja could make thermal weapons they could certainly learn how to bake crackers.

"No, but there is plenty else that will settle your stomach."

"Really? Like what? Our basic food groups have been rjet, naxa, leaf – " I paused, not only on account of her wearied expression but because our time together outside of the common room was limited. All this woman wanted to do was swim after spending a decade in space.

"Forget it. I'm sure you're right."

I waded over to her and followed her toward a waterfall. Never having been much of a swimmer, preferring to sit on the edge of a pool and soak my legs, I climbed up onto a low, recessed shelf where water collected and watched Ayida immerse herself in the fall. Though I estimated she was somewhere in her forties she was seven years old right now. The joy – the utter glee – in her eyes, her expression, and in every muscle and bone that soaked up the cascading water was akin to a child's first time visiting the ocean. I watched her for hours without a word passing between us. This was her moment and having had so many of my own with Gikvaris and Kch'lo I knew better than to spoil it with mindless conversation. There was no telling where Shunlau would take her and if she would ever step foot in warm, white water again, though I suspected Ayida was the kind of build that could weather any environment. After giving the Thwei clan enough pups to be a tax write-off back on earth she deserved a tropical getaway, but never one to complain I was sure Ayida was content with her Ywsa day trip even if it was without all-inclusive drinks.

Though Ywsa was a tidal locked planet V admitted that many scientists did not believe they even existed so the little that could be said about them was in fact only speculation. The theory that a tidal locked planet would have one side immersed in endless sunlight was partially accurate as I came to learn. Though darkness never fully settled across the landscape there was a dimming akin to sunset and the rainforest, looming hundreds of feet above the cliffs, cast wide shadows across the terrain. By that time most of Gikvaris' students began filtering out of the forest, their kill, some with even two, strung over their shoulders. They set their carcasses down on slabs of rock at the river's edge and began the tedious work of skinning, gutting, and cleaning. When the carcasses were split open and the innards spilled out onto the stone they hooked small barbs connected to a metal line into the thick meat before tossing the trunks into the river and letting the current take care of the rest of the cleaning. The strong current in the deeper waters gently pounded against the meat and whisked the blood further downstream. While they waited for the water to debride their slabs of meat and give whatever aquatic life a chance to nip at the wisps of muscle that had been severed at the small incision points and fell away they split up so that half could begin building fires while the others set about stretching the pelts to dry.

Ayida and I left our watering hole as soon as Gikvaris and Shunlau emerged from the forest, our coverings still hot from laying out in full sunlight. Unable to bear the sight of threads of sinew being uprooted or the acrid smell of blood I wandered over to Cz'ha's roaring campfire and settled down beside him just as he finished cleaning his wrist blades and began running a blunt stone across the jagged edges.

"Saved pelt." He nodded toward a pelt of richly colored plumage strung taut between two trees. "Can do what like with."

"Me?"

"Sei – Yes." He trilled lightly. He was still making a conscious effort to uphold the terms of our agreement even though I had failed miserably in instructing him as to the art of wooing females.

"I've seen your quarters. You could use an extra pelt or two."

"No. Have many years to give thought to…" His words trailed off, hitting a wall of interspecies linguistics.

"Personal effects? Interior decorating?" I laughed, knowing these terms would be lost on him, but nonetheless he nodded in agreement, trusting my suggestion.

"Why don't you give the pelt to Tiff?"

His tresses perked up at the mere mention of her name.

"Might be a nice way of showing your intentions."

His sudden excitement was eclipsed by somber disappointment. "Intentions no matter. Am un-Blooded."

"Then you will have just as many years to get yourself _Blooded_ while stocking up on as many pelts that will make her look like the queen of Sheba."

"She-buh?"

I waved dismissively. "Doesn't matter."

"Will give pelt for me?"

I couldn't help but give him the crazy stare. "What? That kind of defeats the whole purpose...Don't tell me you've suddenly lost your nerve when it comes to a female. Certainly didn't stay your fist when we met in Yaut's jungle."

"H'ko – No," he said firmly. "You return to clanship. Cz'ha stay with un-Blooded."

"But I'm not going back, either," I said. Receiving the same bizarre look from Cz'ha, I added, "…Am I?"

"Yes. Gikvaris is not healer." He chirred deeply. "And Gikvaris can not take any ooman where he is going."

"He's going somewhere?" I had a feeling that although Ayida and I had not been privy to Gikvaris, Shunlau, and Kyhemeda's midnight meets, Cz'ha had been and he was moments from unwittingly cluing me in.

"Each have met requirement for trial of hive cleansing. Shunlau has three queen kainde amedha skulls, Kyhemeda four, and Gikvaris has his seven. Now will go to cleanse hive of no less than three hundred kainde amedha. Return as clan leaders."

"Clan leaders? But…but why? And three hundred! You are going with him, aren't you? You are all – "

"No. No more than three may enter trial." Cz'ha clicked his small lower tusks. "Forget Cz'ha have no queen skull?"

I glanced over at Gikvaris who was busy cutting the meat of his kill into thin slices. "What will happen to me and Ayida?" I covered my stomach as if protecting against some oppressive force trying to steal Kch'lo's pup from me sooner than I was prepared for.

"Will not follow Kal'ar into clan extinction. Can build new clan or break and form three new clans." Cz'ha looked down at the barricade I had formed with my arms and chirred. "Gikvaris keep pup safe….His pup."

A knowing passed between us in the moments of silence that followed, an unspoken confirmation that if Kal'ar tore into Gikvaris' un-Blooded soldiers they would reaffirm Gikvaris' claim as this pup's sire.

"And if he fails?" My throat felt like I had swallowed glass.

"Make no plan for you," Cz'ha said, picking up the undertone of my question. "No need to plan. Gikvaris not plan to fail."

Cz'ha went back to preening his d'lex blades and I lost myself in the heart of the fire and in the flames that lapped heavenward. My brain repelled the uncertainty of the information Cz'ha was so forthcoming with, choosing to deflect its ominous entailments so as not to overshadow the otherwise uninteresting day. Plain, uninvolved, and uninteresting were the kind of moments my mind was pitched toward engaging. I longed for the days of my previously rudimentary life and their lack of cosmic chaos. Now I had to weather the storm of Yautja politics _and_ the storm building inside of me. _That_ chapter of my life had been dealt with in waves of highs and lows and closed only to be suddenly reopened to be rewritten. The fact that I had created life when such, not even weeks ago, had been an impossibility hadn't even hit me yet. I assumed it would smack me over the head once I was no longer able to see my feet.

"Egg-se-ah."

I looked over at Cz'ha who was jutting his chin out. Turning to meet where his gaze had fallen I saw Gikvaris summoning me in that non-verbal way of his, which was either a series of jerking nods or an upturn of his chin. He couldn't be bothered with a come-hither curl of his finger or lifting his arm and arching it in the direction he wanted me to go. No, he preferred to have my eyes on his to reinforce the urgency in which I should act on his command.

I sat down opposite of Shunlau and Ayida, the fire not as tall as those scattered along the river the un-Blooded fed to put any funeral pyre to shame. Gikvaris crouched down and pushed a small metal pan across the rocks to me. I felt Ayida's eyes on me and looked up at her. She was urging me to trust her, to trust Gikvaris in spite of the ripple fanning out across my stomach at the sight of meat.

"As pup grows bigger will not take kindly to lack of iron."

I looked up from the strips in the small Petri dish pan at Shunlau.

"Will take what he does not get from bearer."

In having mashed raw rjet to feed Chakuube's pup I didn't have an excuse not to nourish my own in the same squeamish way. I picked up a strip and bit into it, hoping the sooner I got it down my throat the sooner this debacle would be behind me. The closer I would get in overcoming the mass of hurdles between now and delivering this pup. Expecting to have to grind my teeth into the tough meat I was pleasantly surprised when my teeth cut through it like butter. Whatever marbleized strings of fat had maddeningly stuck between my teeth from clanship rjet had been cooked down into a rich juice, the taste of which did not turn my stomach in violent twists before it ejected whatever I had just forced down it. A dormant hunger was ignited by food I could actually get past my tongue. After I picked clean my plate I looked at Gikvaris with insatiably hungry eyes.

Gikvaris pushed his half picked-over plate toward me. Shunlau's light trilling earned him a sharp snarl. Gikvaris didn't share much and food…food wasn't one of those 'much's. As tempting as it was to dip into Gikvaris' stash, I just couldn't. If he really was plowing headfirst into a kainde amedha hive I certainly didn't want a sudden hunger pang knocking him off his game. At the thought of Gikvaris tunneling into a nest of those black dragons I scooted closer to him and leaned my head against the bulge of his bicep while resting my hand on his forearm. His muscles seemed to flinch at the contact, but as I didn't feel the vibration of a building rumble or suddenly find my ass thirty feet away from him he either didn't mind my touch or suppressed his dislike of it on account of the fragile state he believed I was in.

Whatever plans Gikvaris had to return to the transport ship was thwarted when a blanket of exhaustion settled over me. The heat of Gikvaris' hide paired with the crackling of a low burning fire lulled the engine driving my system at max capacity into a downhill coast. For the first time in weeks I _slept,_ blissfully unaware of sounds that would have otherwise kept me awake for hours on end.

* * *

 _ **Sunstreaker's Squishy : Aww, thank you for taking the time to review – time is so valuable and I appreciate what you spend on me! As for your hopes, we will get there in time! Answers in due time.**_

 _ **IsisNicole : He cares, in that unemotional male way we can all relate to being familiar with, I think!**_

 _ **aisaac5 : Thank you! I appreciate the kudos as that was a chapter of all chapters to get through writing! Hope you enjoyed this last one.**_

 _ **TenJP: Love how you called Kal'ar a 'weenie'. God that's a term I haven't heard in a while, but love! So…thoughts on this last one? And all is well with me, thank you for asking. How about you? Im just enjoying this nice weather out here on the east coast.**_

 _ **sousie : Your last review made me smile! You got me good until that 'kidding' part.**_

 _ **123 drink : More Gik? Only because you asked!**_

 _ **KATT9033 : Ha, the 'leader bitch'…I bet you're thrilled with him now after this last update, huh? **__**Hows things with you?**_

 _ **Villemoo : Its hard to discern feeling in text. I can get a text message that says "Yeah" and instantly I'm like, 'wtf with the 'tude?' – but yours wasn't harsh! I'm happy you've stuck it out this long and seemingly will continue to! Did you get to that old fanfic of yours? First person POV is HARRRRD for me. I usually only write in third person, but for this one I just couldn't. Next one I will, now that I'm a bit more comfy with getting into a Yautja's head! Did last chap give Gikvaris any charm back? I sure hope…he's gonna be around for a bit… :-)**_

 _ **Tenfangirl: How was the latest curve ball? I keep throwing them, and I really need to calm it down.**_

 _ **KTCameleon : He's still around in a way…a much smaller way!**_

 _ **DystrVction : I know, I really tossed around the idea of G challenging K to an epic showdown, but I just couldn't because of the backstory I knew I had for him. But, I've got plenty in store for GikvarisXExia, so hang in there. There's just one tiny TINY obstacle in the way before the GikvarisXExia thing goes down.**_

 _ **write more soon : Not soon enough for my liking, but there it was! And now…I'm writing more.**_

 _ **butters101 : Answers soon…but for now, I have to drag our girl through the mud a little longer.**_

 _ **FutureEnchantments : It surely was his way, because again, for Yautja words are useless compared to actions. Hope you enjoyed the last!**_

 _ **APeaceOfPie4Everybody011 : For now we have mini-Kch'lo. But every dog has its day.**_

 _ **CheebieBeebie : Does 26 and 27 satisfy?**_

 ** _JShale: You inspire me daily._ **


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